Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events and/or places that are recognized as being written and created by J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters and places from the Harry Potter books including the ones used in this story.

A/N: I am sooooooooo sorry, about the long delay in posting. I was doing so good for a little while there! Anyways, this chapter might be a tad confusing but I have plans and they are funny!

So, as usual: SUPER sized Thank Yous to EVERYONE who read this and left me comments, you all are gorgeous and you simply rock my existance! I'm not going to write all the names because I heard more about how its not allowed, but I'm very very thankful! On to with the show!

"Come on! Put that down!" "Make me!" "It's mine! Stop it"

Lily's red head whipped around to see where those screams were coming from. A couple of third year brats were causing some sort of loud commotion. Lily spun back around to look at two seventh year brats who were staring at each other, trying to whisper through their eyes. Sirius looked at Lily and jabbed James in the side. Lily pursed her lips. Then she flipped around and marched away.

"Alright, Lily," James shouted. "I'll come help you in a second! I'll be….Sirius Black!"

"What?"

"Are you mental? Actually, why am I bothering to even get your opinion on this; of course you are."

Sirius looked at him with outrageous shock. "I was helping you!"

"That's very nice of you, Padfoot, but I was telling her the truth!" James ran his fingers through his hair. "Now, we have to keep on lying or she'll never talk to me."

Sirius shrugged.

James gaped at him. Why did nothing ever bother Sirius? "You don't care about having to lie to Lily? To Moony?"

Sirius shrugged again. "It comes naturally," he said grinning, like it was a trait to be proud of.

"Well that's-"

"Prongs, did you do something to your hair?"

"What? Oh, I used a new comb. Why?" James's hand flew to his hair, and he looked back at Lily, who was wagging her finger in some little kid's face. What a beautiful finger…

"It looks different," Sirius continued.

James turned back to him. "Bad?"

"No, I like it." Sirius smiled. James smiled. "See," Sirius said. "It's that easy."

"What is….hey!"

Sirius barked with laughter. "Listen, Prongs. For six, or a thousand, years I have had to bear witness to you and your quest to be Mr. Lily Evans. And, man, you're so close now!" Sirius clapped James on the back, and James knew that Sirius's actions were pure; there was no mischief in his eyes, no hidden agenda. Sirius was just being James's best friend, which was his greatest role. "I don't want to see your window of opportunity slammed shut in your face because Evans is embarrassed," Sirius continued. "You're my soul brother. I'm going to help you. Lying to Evans, I could care less about. And Moony?"

"And Moony what?"

Sirius's face froze, and drained of blood. He was concentrating so much on his speech, that he was only aware of the words streaming out of his yapper and nothing else. How could he be so caught off guard? Sirius could usually smell Remus coming. He smelled so…Remus.

"Moony!" Sirius spun around, flashing an overly bright smile. "I was just telling Prongs that…that…that we should go somewhere fun for Christmas break. You know a vacation? I said to James: wouldn't it be fun? Me, you, Wormtail, and Moony?" Sirius made a wild motion with his hands like he was rewinding the air.

Remus could almost see the pores on Sirius's face fill with tiny droplets of sweat. Sirius doubled back and started to manically whisper to James. Remus didn't know why Sirius was acting this way, but Remus did know that there was nothing in the ever expanding universe that would make him go on a Holiday with Sirius and James. Pure mayhem. Remus preferred those two when they were enclosed in a castle or a fenced wood, not unleashed on a poor, defenseless Earth.

"I didn't ask for you to save me," James hissed, his lips practically sucking on Sirius's nose. "You're digging your nails, into my arm!" James screamed that statement, and shook his arm to try and violently knock Sirius away.

Sirius looked at James with pleading eyes, his hand firmly grasped around James's thin, but muscular Quidditch limb. Uncomfortable. That is all that Sirius could feel at the moment. Uncomfortable because Remus was giving him The Stare and Sirius knew that he made a boo boo.

Remus sighed half exasperated, half worried. "Come on, Padfoot," Remus said gently. He slipped his fingers under Sirius's and pried them off of James. "Come on. Everything's going to be alright." Remus looked directly into Sirius's wild eyes. His heart sunk. "What's the matter?"

Sirius whimpered and flung his arms around Remus. "Oh, Moony," he whined. No more than twenty minutes ago, Sirius got through listening to Remus express his insecurities; Sirius was moved by that, Sirius vowed to protect Remus, Sirius would never want to see Remus upset.

Sirius was easily distracted. In the face of James and his problems, he completely wiped out everything Remus said.

Remus started idly patting Sirius's head. He caught James's eye and the two shrugged for different reasons.

Sirius needed to figure out what to do, fast. Remus forgave him for the whole trying to kill Snape thing, surely he would forgive him for lying. And James, poor, bad with the ladies, dufus, James needed Sirius's help more. Remus would understand! Sirius pulled away from Remus, only to catch the speeding blur of Lily Evans.

In a moment of what he assumed was genius, Sirius threw himself back against Remus, and wrapped one of his legs around the smaller boy's hip.

"Sirius…" Remus's voiced wavered. Sirius started nuzzling his nose into Remus's neck. Remus was being humped. And not by Padfoot the dog. "Sirius," Remus shouted, as he felt Sirius's body press against his own.

"Black!" Lily was staring at the two with horror in her eyes.

So was James; though he was oddly amused by the whole thing, as well. Sirius knew how to put on a show.

"Sorry, Evans," Sirius said, his voice low and husky. "Lost in the moment."

"Black," Lily started, her eyes narrowed. "You are a seventh year student. You need to set an example!"

"He was," James said, winking at Sirius.

Lily blushed, but shook her hair so that it would cover her face. "James," Lily warned. Lily looked back over to Remus and Sirius. Remus's eyes were wide, but fixed on to Sirius, who was curling the longer wisps of Remus's hair lovingly around his finger, praying to all the Gods that Remus didn't catch on and tie him to a train track.

"Remus," Lily said. The thought of aligning herself with Remus crossed her mind often. The two were smart, and sane, and Remus could probably be convinced that they needed to get as far away as deemed possible from anyone named Potter and Black. "Remus what are you doing out here?"

Remus frowned. Sirius had his left arm wrapped around his right, and there was hot breath on his neck. "I'm tired, but I don't want to fall asleep until we start traveling. So, I came out here to stretch my legs, and keep my eyes open."

"I need to do that too," Lily half whispered. Her eyes at that moment were locked on Sirius, whose own eyes were locked in a pleasing droop on the back of a sixth year Hufflepuff hussy with long blonde curls. Lily then took notice of Remus's look of discomfort. This didn't seem like a couple in love. She shot a suspicious glance at James.

James caught the tail end of Lily's look and promptly kicked Sirius's foot. This isn't going to ever work out, James thought.

"Wha?" Sirius spat out. James's head flicked towards Lily, who looked like a steaming kettle of fury. "Oh! Ah. Moony?" Remus turned his head to Sirius. Remus's lips were a tight line. "Don't go to sleep! I have plans for you." Sirius smiled seductively and ran his fingers through Remus's hair. Remus's back and neck stiffened; but the look of amusement on James's face pretty much explained everything.

Lily's mouth dropped, but she quickly recovered. She wasn't sure about anything! One minute James told her that Sirius and Remus were a couple, then he took it back and said they weren't, then took that back and said they were. One minute Sirius only had eyes for Remus, then he looked like he was about to ravage some poor girl right there on the platform, and then he once again looked like he was instead going to ravage Remus. Lily didn't care what was going on or not going on, (or should be going on), between Remus and Sirius. She could care less if they were dating or not. It was James that she cared about. There was more to him than a smug athlete. She thought that Sirius and Remus would lead her to uncover the real James Potter, which she unfortunately was desperate to find. Lily shook her head. She hated feeling anything towards that bespeckled jerk.

James smiled at Lily in an attempt to make peace. He noticed that he was quite angry at Sirius. Everything was fine, the lie was fine, until Sirius found out about it and decided to "help". Somehow the idea that Sirius should have his hands all over Remus at every second was not what James expected "helping" to include.

"Hey, Head Boy!"

James's neck was tackled by a stringy arm and he snapped around. "Longbottom," James greeted the fellow Gryffindor, tackling him back playfully.

"Hello, Lily," Frank said, bowing ostentatiously.

Lily bowed back, giggling. "Hello," she said, with a regal voice, puffing her chest out. James tried not to stare. Frank clapped James on the back and raised his eyebrows. James's quest for the hand of Lily Evans was a very well known story.

"Hey Sirius, Lupin," Frank said. He waved at them with a casualness and familiarity that made both Sirius and Remus still with anger. Frank turned back to James and asked him questions about the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Sirius and Remus shared a look, both noting how they were standing, (Sirius tangled around Remus, with his hands in his hair, and Remus, with no other option, and being too tired to shrug the raven haired boy off, had wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist). They were uncomfortable with this stance, why wasn't Frank; someone who knew them, but not well enough to find this behavior normal.

Sirius uncurled himself from Remus, and stepped away from him. Remus looked over at Sirius's doggy eyed, apologetic face, and crossed his arms.

"Alright," Frank spoke up. "I'm going to go find Alice. See you later." Frank smacked playfully into Sirius's shoulder and stomped off.

"Berk," Sirius scowled, rubbing his arm.

"I thought you liked, Longbottom," James said.

Sirius huffed. "Not anymore."

"You've always liked Frank," Remus pointed out.

"Stupid git," Sirius grumbled.

"Sirius," Lily shouted, startling everyone, even herself, with the use of Sirius's first name. Usually she spat out his last name, complete with disdain. "You can't have everyone!"

Sirius, Remus and James stared at her. "I," Sirius started. Nevermind," he sighed. Sirius began to wonder if Lily fancied him and she was forcing him to look like he was attracted to men, so that she can forget her crush. Sirius beamed at the thought. Of course Lily would like him! All that unfounded hatred had to come from somewhere. Silly, delusional, Evans, Sirius thought. Sirius looked up to see his two best friends and Lily staring at him with confused, worried faces.

"Why were you laughing to yourself?" James asked.

"Oh, nothing you ever need to worry about, Prongs my lad." Sirius shook his head, and placed his hand over his heart. No matter how pretty Lily's hair looked when it swished back and forth, she was off limits. Sirius tossed his own gorgeous hair.

"Lily!" Lily rose up on her toes to peak over Sirius's shoulder. She smiled and waved at Alice.

"I'll be over there if you need me, James," she said, cursing herself a second later. With fully blushed cheeks, Lily sped over to her friend.

"Alright. Explain," Remus said, rounding on Sirius.

Sirius dropped his head to the side. "Explain what?"

Remus gaped at him and motioned around with his hands. "This!"

"Oh," Sirius started. "Well, you see this is called a platform. It is where people stand before boarding a train."

James tried to hide his laughter at the look of pure annoyance on Remus's face. "You know what I mean, Sirius," Remus said. "I thought this was over." Remus's face stretched, as he let out a jaw cracking yawn.

Sirius grabbed this opportunity, and slung an arm around Remus's shoulders. Remus shrugged his arm off, and stepped away. Sirius's eyes looked truly hurt for a second, before he caught himself. Now Sirius remembered why he should have saved Remus. Remus didn't need this extra burden, and if this lie ruined him and Remus, Sirius would really miss their causal, comfortable friendship; something he couldn't have with James, since they were the kings of the boy's club. "Moony," Sirius said, with a quiet, gentle voice that was not often heard. "Why don't you go take a nap? You look exhausted."

Remus wanted to protest this, but his second giant yawn had other plans. He nodded vaguely and made his way back to the train. Sirius watched him leave and then looked at James. "I'll tell him what I did," Sirius said. "Now that you're all Head Boy-ed and responsible; Moony's my only companion. I can't have him not talking to me."

James frowned. "I'm still your friend," he whined.

Sirius laughed. "Lily's calling you."

"Where is she? I'm coming!" James frantically looked over to where he saw Lily last. He made to run to her side, but Sirius grabbed his arm.

"She didn't call you," Sirius laughed. "I was just proving my point." James opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius stopped him. "Prongs, it's ok. I've already told you that I'm not going to let my boredom or lonely feelings or pain from missing my best friend or sorrow at being ditched…get in the way of you and Lily."

"Somehow that speech made me feel worse," James scowled.

"Well…" Sirius's famous smirk blasted across his face.

"No," James warned. "I don't want your help."

"Too bad."

"Padfoot," James sighed. "Lily has developed feelings for me because she thinks I'm accepting, and understanding, and helpful, and nice, and not a tad bigheaded."

"A tad?"

James rolled his eyes. "The point is. I need to prove to her that I am all of that. By myself. Without pretending that my best mates are dating."

"Pretending?" Peter sprang out of no where and raised his eyebrows at Sirius. "That's not what I heard."

"It's the last thing you're going to hear, Wormtail!" Sirius towered over the small boy with a playful gleam in his eye.

"N-now, now, P-Padfoot," Peter fake stuttered, something he was really good at since he did it when threatened anyway. "I'm sure your b-boyfriend won't want you fighting on the p-platform."

Sirius growled. "Remus doesn't own me," he laughed. Sirius lunged at Peter, who shrieked with laughter and sped away.

James watched them with a wistful look on his face. His head boy badge felt heavy on his chest. He looked down to glare at it, but noticed the bobbing red head next to him instead.

Lily was shaking her head, her hands on her cheeks, and her eyes narrowed on the weaving blurs of Peter and Sirius. "Do they not understand that there are times and places to be running around like madmen!"

"Padfoot's just defending his honor."

"Why do you call him Padfoot?"

James unfocused his eyes and stared off in the opposite direction. "No reason."

Lily smirked and rose up on her toes. She let her breath ghost across James's cheek. "Come on," she whispered in a low voice. "You can tell me."

James swallowed. "Lily," he gasped. "Is this any way for the Head Girl to behave? I thought we were supposed to set an example?"

Lily dropped down to her normal height, and crossed her arms. "Jerk," she said, with a smile.

The pair started walking down the platform. James noticed everything about Lily. The slight bump in her walk, the way her hair swung more to the right then the left, the way she kept her hands neatly to her sides, the way she was biting her lower lip, the way her eyes were constantly scanning the area, looking for mischief. James smiled. "Lily," he said, nudging her softly. "Sirius won't cause you any problems. I promise. Remus will keep him busy, locked up in the dorm." Studying N.E.W.T.s, he said in his head. He meant to say it out loud, he really did. Old habits die hard.

Lily looked up at him. "And you don't mind them…up there?" she asked, her voice low and challenging, willing him to slip.

"No," James said. He probably, in reality, would honestly have almost no, kind of, only a slight, problem with it. James did, though, feel awful that he was continuing the façade, digging his hole deeper and deeper until there would be no way for him to pull himself up right. The thing was that pretending that Sirius and Remus were a couple…was just too easy. Even Longbottom noticed, James thought, thinking back on the way Frank didn't even raise an eyebrow at Sirius and Remus, or was it Remus and Sirius? Really there was no telling when they were smushed together like one being.

Lily smiled. "You're a good friend…Potter." Her next smile was teasing, and her fingers bumped purposely against James's. James knew that he passed one more hurtle towards making Lily his, and there was no hiding his happiness.

"Mmmmmooooonyyyyyy."

"Argh," Remus growled, blindly swatting the air.

"Moony, darling, wakie wakie!

"Lemmie 'lone."

Sirius stood up from his position crouching in front of Remus's sleep clenched face, and sat down on the opposite side of the compartment. Sirius had a flash of selfishness where he felt the unfairness of his current life position; best friend #1: chasing a skirt and playing adult; best friend #2: a sleep deprived, emotionally unbalanced, werewolf: best friend #3: annoying. Sirius felt bad for Remus, but there was a time and a place to sleep and be left alone. Sirius took a big breath. "Someone just set fire to a copy of Hogwarts, A History!"

"What?" Remus shouted, springing out of his seat. Sirius giggled, and Remus shot him the glance of death. "Not funny, Padfoot. I was sleeping."

"But, now you're awake; which is ten times better!" Sirius swiftly moved from his seat to one next to Remus and smiled mirthfully. "Because now you can play with me!"

"It is statements like that, that make me reconsider our friendship," Remus said, with a playful grin. Remus would never reconsider any friendship because true friends were something not all werewolves were granted.

Sirius rolled his eyes, and sank back. There was a moment of brief silence between the two friends. "I think Lily is in love with me," Sirius finally spoke.

Remus's attention snapped to him, and laughter burst spectacularly from his mouth. Sirius waited patiently for Remus to calm down. Remus's breathing finally returned to a normal pace. "I'm sorry. Did you say Lily is in love with you?"

"Are you going to laugh again?"

"Probably."

Sirius sighed. "Well, don't you think so?"

"No! Sirius, why do you think Lily is in love with you?" Remus felt silly even saying those words. The last couple he could ever imagine was Sirius and Lily; he would expect Lily to date Nearly Headless Nick before she even considered Sirius.

"Isn't it obvious, Moony?" Sirius lounged back to get a better view of Remus. "She has hated me since first year; and her hatred has only gotten deeper since. And for some unknown reason, she's convinced herself that I'm with you."

"Unknown reason?" Remus asked. "This might have tipped her off." Remus launched himself at Sirius, lying pressed against Sirius's long, thin body. "Oh, Moony," Remus growled. His hands moved expertly through Sirius's long mane of black hair. "I have plans for you, my Moony."

"Get off me," Sirius shouted, his hands pushing against Remus's torso. "You've made your point!" Remus made lapping noises and tickled Sirius before peeling himself off. "I'll never breathe correctly again," Sirius laughed, holding his ribs.

"Serves you right! You molester!" Remus sat back, facing Sirius.

"Just you wait, Moony," Sirius said, pushing himself up a little, and stretching his legs over Remus's. "When Lily admits her undying love, you'll be sorry you ever doubted me."

"I'll be counting the days." Remus squirmed. Sirius's big, boot laden feet were crushing a certain area that no feet should ever be.

"But, don't worry, Moony, I wouldn't let Evans interfere with our special time."

"You think James is going to stop coming to the Shack?" Remus asked; he couldn't stop the slight rise in his voice.

Sirius shrugged, and led another small space of silence. Remus really didn't mind that much if James missed a couple of full moons; as long as Sirius was still there, the wolf would be alright.

"Moony? I told Lily that you were my boyfriend."

Remus's breath was bumpy with silent laughter. "I figured you did."

"Are you mad?" Sirius stared down at his fingers, which were drumming on his chest.

Remus rolled his eyes; like he could ever be mad at that 'oh, poor me' look. "No. I mean, I wish you didn't."

"I just want to help Prongs!"

"There is no helping, Prongs," Remus deadpanned. "He's as lost as your mind."

Sirius looked contemplative. "Hey," he eventually said, kicking Remus gently in the thigh. "I just thought that if we show James in a better light, then Lily would go out with him and thus would end the entirely too long and drawn out saga that is James Potter Pines for Lily Evans."

Remus laughed despite himself. "It'll happen on its own, Padfoot." Remus twisted his fingers together. "I would appreciate being left out of the whole thing anyways."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Moony, do you fancy some lucky lady?"

"Not particularly. Why?"

Sirius sat up a little, bending his knee around Remus's calf. "Good, then we can pretend to date and no one will be jealous."

"No one will be jealous of you," Remus said, ignoring Sirius's look of shock. "And, Padfoot, I just told you I don't want to get involved!"

"You won't be!"

"You're not making sense." Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and tilted his head back. It was not even the first day of term, and he was already getting migraines.

"Moony, what do you always say about girlfriends?"

Remus sighed. "Girlfriends are a one way ticket to failing your N.E.W.T.s and subjects in general," he droned.

"Exactly, so." Sirius cracked his knuckles, and looked altogether smug. "If I'm your girlfriend, or, well, you know, then you won't have to worry about spending extra time on me because I'm always around anyway. And there won't be any of that pressure to make-out because…well, you know…and you saw Longbottom!"

"Yes, I saw him," Remus said, barely able to hide his anger at the fact that Frank was not even slightly disturbed by them.

"So, all we're doing is acting like our normal selves….which might not really be normal…but making Evans believe that we're a couple so that she'll go out with James!"

Remus looked hard at Sirius. "Padfoot, don't you want a girlfriend?"

"If I see one that's worth my time and effort, I'll sneak her around Evans. It'll be fun!"

"Uh," Remus sighed. There was no saying no to Sirius; not ever. "Fine, then. I…I guess if only Lily thinks we're together…I mean, I'm not excited about it. And I don't want any gratuitous grabbing from you. Hands off!" Sirius nodded.

"Ok," Peter said, pushing the compartment door open. "Let me just make sure I understand this." Peter walked into the compartment, shut the door and sank down across from Sirius and Remus. "You two are going to, without telling James, pretend your dating so that Lily will go out with James, who is also still pretending you are together, which you're really not supposed to know, woops, so that Lily will go out with him?"

"Yes," Sirius said. "That git," he added, shaking his head. "I'm going to end the lie, Padfoot," he said, mimicking James's voice; if James's voice was high pitched and girly.

"My head hurts," Peter whined, dropping his head in his hands.

"So, Moony, will you be my fake boyfriend to make Evans go out with Prongs, our most beloved companion?" Sirius asked. He adopted a look of worry and batted is eyelashes.

"Only if I can write home and tell my Mum that your name is Selena and you're my girlfriend?"

"Deal." Sirius sat back and drummed his fingers together. "Oh! We're so going to win!"

"Win what?" Remus asked, staring at Sirius with a real look of worry.

Sirius's face dropped and he looked confused. "I don't know. We always say that, it was a reflex." Sirius shrugged.

Remus pinched his nose again. Sirius Black was a one way ticket to failing his N.E.W.T.s and subjects in general.

A/N #2: This does not in any way mean that Sirius and Remus will end up together for real. Nor does this author's note mean they won't. Oooh...it's a mystery :D