Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events and/or places that are recognized as being written and created by J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters and places from the Harry Potter books including the ones used in this story.
A/N: Look! It's only been like three weeks since my last update! I'm so proud of myself! Lol! Anyways, I want to send big Thank Yous to EVERYONE who left a review! I planned on thanking everyone personally but something happened to my email, and blah blah blah, I didn't get to do that...but THANK YOU all SO much! And this chapter is a fun one...heehee...
"So."
"Yeah, ahem, so."
"Um…so."
"Knit!" Sirius shouted, bursting out into a thousand tiny tremors of giggles.
This had been the most awkward fifteen minutes any four people have ever spent together in the history of fifteen minutes any four people have ever spent together.
James kept looking at Lily and sighing and then looking at Sirius and Remus and scowling. Lily kept fiddling with the straw of her butterbeer, and sneaking glances at James. Sirius kept reaching over to touch Remus's thigh, and then laughing because of the insanity of the whole thing. And Remus kept pointing to his knife and giving Sirius You Know Where This Will Be If You Don't Stop eyes.
And no one said one word.
James laughed with Sirius. Then coughed, took a sip of his butterbeer, coughed again, and said: "So." James couldn't understand, for the life of him, why talking had become the hardest activity in the world. He should be a waterfall of words at this table. He's sitting with his two best mates, and his favorite person in the entire universe; there should be no awkward pauses.
But, this wasn't just an outing with friends. It was a date, a double date, a fake double date that was going so horrible James almost wished someone would come and shoot him and put him out of his misery.
"Sirius!" Remus squealed angrily. Sirius's hand had slipped a little too far to the left; hopefully on accident. By the way Sirius was smirking like he just found gold, it probably wasn't.
"I'm sorry, Moon-pie," Sirius cooed, stroking back Remus's hair. Sirius's legs were shaking as he tried to repress his laughter. He was having way too much fun. There were butterflies and electricity, and every time he made Remus squirm with aggravation he got more and more amused by the whole thing. So he was making Remus squirm with aggravation at every chance he got.
Then Lily giggled, watching them, and Sirius's smirk faded because he forgot that she, that James, that a world, was there. And that fact was horrifying.
"Sirius?" Lily asked, leaning over the table to look at Sirius. "Are you sick? You look pale."
"Fine," Sirius shouted, hiding his face from Remus. He tried to scoot a little away from where he was before; which was practically in Remus's lap. He only succeeded in bumping into a disgruntled hag at the table next to him. "When did this place get so busy?" Sirius commented.
"It was this busy when we came in," James said.
Sirius looked around. "I distinctly remember there being less people then."
"Nope," James said, shaking his head.
"We almost couldn't get a table," Lily added.
Sirius stared at his butterbeer. "I don't remember that. I remember walking in and Moony saying 'Oh this place is…so…ahem, crowded, what were we talking about?" Sirius took a frantic sip of his drink.
James, Lily and Remus all stared at Sirius with apprehensive-slash-terrified looks. "What on Earth is wrong with you?" James asked.
Sirius had no clue. He looked over to Remus. Maybe he did have somewhat of an idea about what could possible by wrong with him buried deep down in that place where Sirius locked all thoughts that he didn't agree with.
As Sirius sat in thought, another awkward pause settled on the group.
"So," Lily said, looking up at James. James smiled at Lily.
"Oh, not this again," Remus groaned. "We almost had conversation. It was a pointless, very confusing conversation. But, it was something." Remus locked eyes with James. "So there."
James leaned over to Lily. "Looks like we hit a nerve."
Lily smiled. "I guess Remus doesn't know conversation when he doesn't see it." Lily emphasized her words be dipping her head down and looking directly into James's eyes; which was a little hard to accomplish with the glare in his glasses. Nevertheless, it had the same heart-melting effect on James that she, reluctantly, wanted. Even though on a brief occasion it made Lily sick to think that she caved in to James Potter, he was really starting to grow on her.
James tried to push down his blush. He opened his mouth. There were words on the tip of his tongue, he knew it; there had to be. Why weren't any coming out? Only butterbeered scented air steamed out of his mouth. Where was his charm? Where was his charisma? They've decided to abandon him, obviously. To not prolong the intensely uncomfortably stare down, James sat back in his chair and busied himself with mussing his hair up.
"Lily," Remus called, getting the redhead's attention. Remus was in dire need of sentences and some kind of concrete topic. Lily seemed, to him, like the only person at the table capable of speech at the present moment. "How is Ancient Runes going? I miss it."
"Oh! We're actually doing this project that made me think of you because…"
"Pads!" James hissed. "Padfoot."
Sirius was staring intently at Remus with his eyebrows knitted.
"Padfoot! Sirius!"
"What?"
"What? Why are you staring at Moony?"
"I, he, um…what do you want?"
James leaned closer to Sirius, and pouted. "I'm tanking."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "No you're not."
Remus and Lily burst out into a raucous laughter, both tipping their heads back. James groaned. "Look! Moony's having a better time with her!"
"That's just because Moony is witty and interesting…and you're…not."
"Thanks, Sirius," James dead-panned. "Let it be known throughout the land that Sirius Black is a big help."
"What are you two ladies whispering about?" Lily asked, loudly, pointing her little finger at James and Sirius.
"Not-"
"Sirius was complaining to me about your hogging of his bo-Remus, his Remus. So…um, so."
Lily raised one eyebrow and patted James's head. "I'm sorry, Sirius. Remus is just so witty and interesting." Lily smiled at Remus, who smiled back and bowed his head down in blushing humility.
Something sharp and stinging flew through Sirius's stomach and he suddenly wanted to hurt someone. Maybe Lily. Probably Lily.
Sirius locked eyes with Remus. Remus smiled and rolled his eyes, bobbing his head towards Lily. "You know who's even more witty and interesting than my bo-Remus?" Sirius said, rolling his own eyes at James's awful cover-up.
"Who?" Lily challenged.
Sirius looked at James. James's eyes were pleading. He needed help. He needed that moral support that he was talking about before. "No one," Sirius said, smiling. "Moon-pie is definitely the most interesting." Once a trouble-maker, always a trouble-maker.
"Sirius?" Remus said, through clenched teeth. He was smiling like an escaped convict, trying to suppress his still raging anger.
"Yes, love?"
"Call me Moon-pie again and I will have no problem with hurling you across this room."
James leaned over to Lily again. As his head moved, he just then noticed her hand still hovering above his head, the pads of her fingers touching the very tips of his hair. James swallowed back his howling elation and drool. He had to remember that every time Lily touched him was a good time to say something to her, and not jump up onto the table jigging himself into a frenzy. Something about that much happiness would probably be a turn-off for the redhead.
"Did you want to say something to me James?" Lily asked. "Or are you just counting how many freckles I have on my ear." Lily turned her head, and brought it back so she could look at James, and not smack him in the face with her nose. That boy has no tact, she though to herself. Lily's gone on six dates since she's been at Hogwarts, and not one of them had this much bizarre staring. Lily glanced over to the other two members of her party. Even they were staring…in opposite directions. Before Lily could ponder what that meant, she saw Remus's eyes roll over to look at Sirius; and then she knew what that meant. "Because if you are counting my freckles," Lily picked up. She had to push James back a little, to put his face into focus. "We're going to be stuck together for a year."
"Or longer," James managed to get out; without a girly, squealy, I Just Hit Puberty voice. Definitely longer, James thought. He wasn't going to stop his freckle counting at her ear. Lily's shirt was parted in a V, and those freckles went on forever.
Lily smirked. "Oh, you think so, huh?"
"Look, Padfoot," Remus whispered in Sirius's ear. "They're talking."
"Then why are we here?" Sirius was really getting mad. He was expecting snide remarks about him and Remus from James that would make him wild and mad, and there were only two. The one where he almost called Remus Sirius's boyfriend, (which didn't count as a remark, frankly); and the other was when they met Lily at The Three Broomsticks and James said to Lily, (but his nerves kept him from whispering), "They won't be here too long. They like to sneak off together, and you know, before we have to return". No more was said, and Sirius felt like this whole thing was an awful waste of time.
"Where else would we be?" Remus asked. He was starting to feel a little sad. Peter was off with someone, his tutor, but at least he wasn't by himself. James was with Lily, (whether they talked to each other or not) and Sirius, who was supposed to be with him, wanted to leave him. To probably find that girl. Who he didn't even know the name of! Remus pinched his leg to remind himself that Sirius wasn't really with him, he didn't really want Sirius to be with him, and he needed to stop thinking immediately. And none of that was happening anytime soon.
Sirius looked around the room. Then turned to Remus. "Honeydukes?"
"What?"
"We would be at Honeydukes because we would have came here, saw how crowded it was, you would have complained about you're fear of crowds, which I know you're struggling with right now, and you're doing good, but if it was just us, we would have left and gone to Honeydukes and then we would have came here when everyone else went to Honeydukes, so that way we could then have our own table and Rosemerta would be all ours, so I could flirt with her and get you free drinks."
Remus didn't move, breathe or blink for a whole second. "That was the longest sentence I've ever heard." But, it was a nice one, Remus couldn't help but thinkning. And something in his mind fell, and he smiled, despite himself.
"Did I hear free drinks?" James asked. Remus and Sirius tore their eyes away from each other.
"No," Sirius said.
Lily started tapping her empty butterbeer with the fork next to her. "It sure would be nice to have another drink," she sighed, winking at Remus.
James leapt from his seat. "Be right back, dear lady. Padfoot, shake your tail!" James moved carefully between the table and the hag next to them, and pulled on Sirius's sleeve to make him get up.
Sirius growled, and slid down his chair. "Want one Moony?"
Remus looked into his bottle. "I could use a filler."
Sirius laughed and ruffled Remus's hair. "A simple yes would have taken less seconds."
"Now you're wasting seconds," James shouted, pushing Sirius ahead of him.
Remus watched Sirius leave for a second longer than he intended, with his hand pulling unconsciously at his hair. His eyes slowly shifted to the right, and connected with the emerald ones next to him. Lily smiled brightly. Knowingly. And Remus didn't like that at all.
"Thanks for coming, Remus," Lily said, with a sweetness that made Remus feel sick. Remus shrugged one shoulder and bowed his head slightly. "And dragging Black, I can tell there are ten other places he'd rather be." Now Lily's voice took on an annoyed bite. Remus could suddenly see the future. Poor Sirius! Lily was going to rope in James, and pull him away from Sirius, probably to stop the influence. Sirius would be all alone! Sirius would….Sirius would cling to Remus like a starfish and then Remus would never be able to find the line in their friendship again. All edges were about to blur.
"Sirius…Sirius likes to do things his way and…he…"
"You don't have to explain anything for him, Remus," Lily jumped in. "Listen. I know."
"No you don't."
"I have eyes, Remus. I can see. I know."
"You might think you know," Remus said, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat. If Lily said, "I know. James told me" then Remus would feel slightly more at ease. This would all be James's doing and that at least kept him in the clear, mentally.
But, Lily said "I have eyes" which meant a whole other thing. And once again Remus felt pigeonholed, confused and questioning. Lily saw things; that had to be there.
"I don't want to argue with you, Remus," Lily said, sitting back. Her head lifted towards the bar. "What's taking them so long?"
"James, stop crying!"
"I can't!"
"This is the complete opposite of being manly," Sirius whispered. He looked up, and down the bar. "Rosemerta's watching!" he groaned. "Now you've ruined my every reason to come in here. Now she thinks we're a couple of poufs."
"Sirius," James said, bringing his tear streaked face up from where it was squashed in his elbow. "She probably already does." Sirius narrowed his eyes. "I can't believe I'm blowing this date," James wailed, before Sirius could tear his throat out.
Sirius really, really wanted to make a rude comment about blowing. It was there; ready to zoom out and make his day. But a small voice, which sounded just like Mr. Remus Lupin, pointed out the complete inappropriateness of that; so he held it in. "Prongs. You just need to relax! Be yourself. Forget what Lily's thinking. I have." No he hadn't, not for one second.
"I don't know what to do," James sniffed. "I'm lost. We're talking about Lily Evans. She's a totally different breed of woman."
"Maybe she isn't a woman," Sirius teased, or tried to sound like he was teasing. "You don't even know what a woman is anyway."
"Oh," James huffed, sneaking an obvious glance back at the spot over yonder where Remus's head was. "And you do?"
Sirius pretended to shine his fingernails against his chest, and winked at Rosemerta; who coincidentally wasn't even paying attention. "I'll let you know that I've had plenty of experice in that field, thank you."
James looked up at Sirius with bright eyes. Eyes of idea. James liked to brag about his great talent of coming up with ideas. He was a fountain of them. He was an architect.
Sirius was a lady's man, James knew it. Sirius had more girlfriends than anyone else. Of course, instead of helping Sirius's straight case, it almost exploded it right up. Little known fact, Sirius's longest relationship lasted a month and they broke up over his mysterious weekend disappearance; which happened around a full moon, no less.
But, Sirius had had plenty of girlfriends. Plenty of opportunity. Plenty of advice. And that's exactly what James needed; someone to follow.
"Padfoot," James cooed. "My dear, dear Padfoot."
Sirius raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. "You're drunk off your own despair, aren't you?"
"Will you help me?"
"Help?"
"With Lily," James pointed out. "Help me on this date. Help me salvage something. Show me what to do!"
"Show?"
James nodded. "Yes. You'll do something and then I'll copy you, but on Lily!"
Sirius inhaled. "And I suppose I don't even need to wonder who I'll be doing something to?"
"Moony won't mind, if it's to help me out!" James cupped Sirius's face with his two callused hands, and brought his own face inches away; to make his point clear. "If this date is a failure…Lily will never go out with me again! No matter what nonsense I spew at her!"
"And what nonsense have you already spewed?" Sirius managed to ask with his cheeks squashed together.
"Never you mind. Will you do this for your best mate for life?" James asked, his eyes big pools of hopefulness.
Sirius knew he was damning himself. He knew Remus would not like this one bit. But Sirius can't say no. And he didn't.
"Alright," Sirius spat. He grabbed two butterbeers from the bar. "Follow me." Sirius started to walk away, but then stopped and turned to look back at James. "Grab Lily's," he sighed, nodding his head back towards the bar, where one, lonely butterbeer was sitting.
"Oh," James said, he bent back to grab the bottle.
"Prongs," Sirius said, facing James. "You're smart. How many times have you've proven the strength of your brains? Now I'm not trying to inflate your ego, all I'm saying is that you have brains. So use them."
"I'm-"
"Nervous," Sirius finished. "Don't be. For the love of everything holy, act normal."
James nodded, and he and Sirius made their way back to the table.
Remus's legs were shaking. He couldn't take it anymore. Lily looked like she was about to implode if she didn't start questioning him, and then what was he going to do? Lie and make James a happy man, or tell the truth and finally let go of that breath that he'd been holding?
Luckily for him, Sirius and James returned, momentarily capturing Lily's attention.
"Here," Sirius said, his face frowning.
Remus looked at his butterbeer, and then looked at Sirius. "No way. I want yours."
"What?"
"What did you do to this? I can see that look in your eyes."
Sirius sighed. "Moony! Why would I poison you?" Remus shrugged, making Sirius laugh. "Look." Sirius grabbed Remus's butterbeer and took a big gulp. "Now we're both going down," he said. Remus smiled.
"James!"
Sirius and Remus snapped their attention to Lily, who was staring at James with her mouth hanging open.
James was staring at Sirius, with Lily's butterbeer still lingering in front of his mouth. Sirius rolled his eyes, and shook his head at James. Lily grabbed James drink, and downed it, smirking with satisfaction.
"Am I missing something?" Remus whispered to Sirius.
"Don't worry," Sirius whispered back. "You'll find it soon enough."
Remus stomped through the path leading from The Three Broomsticks back to Hogwarts with his brow unmistakably furrowed. Sirius walked next to him, trying to send worrisome glances towards his friend. James and Lily trailed behind, a mixture of the two feelings. James, though, was keeping his eyes on Sirius; for some reason, still ready to copy everything the boy did.
Back at The Three Broomsticks, Sirius did "date things" on Remus, to give James an idea of how to act. To Sirius's surprise, and pride, it actually worked.
Sirius had placed his hand on Remus's back, and leaned in to whisper…nonsense. James did the same to Lily. And whispered something about the weather, as mortifying as that may be, because he couldn't hear what Sirius was saying.
Sirius engaged in a conversation with Remus about…nonsense. James did the same with Lily. They talked about what their next meeting with the prefects should be about. James wanted to fall asleep.
Sirius laughed at something Remus said, that wasn't really funny at all but made Sirius peel back in giggles anyways, and hugged him. James did the same, though Lily's comment about her stomach hurting lacked in any real humor. Lily looked more surprised than anything, but melted into the hug just the same. James was ecstatic.
The cycle continued. Over and over. Until Remus caught on. Sirius was getting pretty sick of having to apologize all the time.
"I'm sorry," Sirius hissed again. "He made me. Man, I sound like Wormtail."
"You just could have told me," Remus remarked, with an icy flair. "I feel…used. I'm always used."
"What does that mean?" Sirius spat at him.
"Nothing. Nothing, I just don't like this whole thing. We shouldn't be lying to Lily. James shouldn't be lying to Lily." Remus had had enough. He wanted his old life back. His life of ignorance and prose and of being happy; he used to be happy. Now he was a whole mess of things, and the foremost was anger.
"That's James's problem," Sirius said. "Moony! I was just helping Prongs out. He wanted me to show him what moves to make on Lily. How could I tell him no? You're such a drama queen!"
"Me?" Remus asked, stopping in his tracks. "Who's the one that whines all the time? Paaaaddddfoooot?"
Sirius faced Remus. "Are you making fun of me?" he challenged. Sirius had had enough. It was one thing to be mad, to feel taken advantage of. It was another to become a complete cad about the whole thing. Remus needed to lighten up. Sirius felt his blood-boiling just looking into Remus's eyes.
&&
James stopped walking, following what Sirius was doing, and called out to Lily. Lily turned to look at him. "Yes?" Lily asked, in a still voice.
&&
"Yes," Remus said, bluntly. "I'm making fun of you."
"Well, then…who am I?" Sirius cleared his throat. "Oh! I'm a," he lowered his voice to an inaudible caliber; "-werewolf." Sirius cleared his throat again. "I don't like labels. I don't like people talking about me. Oh! Leave me alone so I can brood!"
"I don't brood!"
&&
"So, Lily…I'm glad we, that you agreed to, to go out with me," James said. He wasn't sure what was going on between Sirius and Remus, he couldn't hear a word, barely see their faces. James did know that standing in complete gawking silence with the woman of his dreams was a wrong path to venture down, and he really, really wanted to kiss her. James became comfortable with the fact that he would have to make his move all on his own. Sirius wasn't going to go that far.
"James," Lily said, smirking. "I asked you out."
"No you didn't."
&&
"You don't brood?" Sirius laughed. "And I'm not an heir."
"You're not," Remus laughed back. "Or did someone forget they got the boot?" Even Remus was taken surprise by himself. This wasn't like him at all. He would never say something like that to a friend; especially Sirius! Remus wanted to take it back, he really did. But, just looking at Sirius's face made something surge through him and he decided Weird, Angry Remus can play a little longer.
&&
"Well, James," Lily pointed out. "You're half right. I didn't ask you out…but I led you to ask me out."
James stared at her. "You just don't want to admit that I've finally gotten to you," he smiled.
&&
"Well, Moony," Sirius pointed out, stepping closer to Remus; electricity piping through his veins. "If anyone knows about not being accepted, it would be you!"
"You git!"
&&
"James Potter! I have not succumbed to any of your so called charms," Lily teased.
&&
"Yeah?" Sirius said, straightening his back, and glaring at Remus. "You're an arsehole."
"Admit it Lily," James said, his eyes sparkling. Here. This was his moment. Cupid was flying over head; and he wanted to see someone kiss.
&&
"I hate you," Remus hissed, stepping even closer to Sirius, and looking up into his blurred gray eyes.
&&
"Never," Lily whispered. James smirked. Here it was. The moment he had waited for, wanted, since he first saw Lily sit down at the Gryffindor table seven years ago at their sorting. James's eyes flashed ahead to look at Sirius, hoping that he was watching.
But, he wasn't. What's going on? James thought.
&&
"I hate you too," Sirius shouted, as he grabbed Remus collar and crashed their lips together.
&&
Thank Merlin for glasses. Or else James's eyes would have fell smack to the ground.