Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events and/or places that are recognized as being written and created by J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters and places from the Harry Potter books including the ones used in this story.

A/N: Hey, look! I've updated, lol! It's almost been a year since I first posted this story, that's insane. Maybe if months didn't pass between updates...Anyways! THANKS, THANKS, THANKS to everyone who still cares about this little fanfic. Love you all!

And you should know before you start, that this chapter doesn't pick up where the last one left off, but coincides with it.

Lily just didn't care less. About what any of those, those, boys had to say. They weren't even boys. They were beasts. Wild beasts; and not in a fun way. In an uncontrollably, do what ever they please, with no sense to care about other people, or rules, kind of way.

And Remus was with them! That was what ticked her off the most. Remus was a prefect, he was smarter than that. Lily would always remember first year. When either through Remus's shyness and lack of ability to always land himself in detention, or through the fact that maybe he had a brain, and used it, Remus wasn't friends with Sirius and James. Not yet. Not how they were now. Of course some secret event took place in the beginning of second year that made them all glue together, but first year…!

In their first year, Remus and Lily were inseparable. She talked to him everyday, sat with him at lunch, made him a get well card when he got back all ruffed up from "his mother's". Lily wasn't dumb, of course. No matter how badly someone was beaten up, they were never bitten through their arm, to the bone.

But, Lily never said anything. Always played innocently aloof. And what did she get in return?

James Potter.

Remus, being the sweet gentleman he could be, stayed friends with Lily even though he moved on to bigger and better (worse, worse, worse!) things.

Until James Potter got a whiff of the friendship, and like any good friend decided to use Remus to get to her. Then Remus stopped their friendship, simply to give her a break.

Oh, and all the good that did!

Now she had lost a really good friend…and gained a royal pain in her- ahem, Lily didn't like to swear.

Lily returned to her seat across from her friend Alice at the table; after breaking up some weird struggle between Black and Potter, and then being forced to listen to them decide which one was really lying to her. But, Lily didn't care anymore. Nope. No. More.

"Why are you making that face?"

Lily looked up at Alice. "What face?"

Alice pointed. "That. One of your eyes is wider than the other and your nostrils are pinched and your lip-"

"Ok! I get! I'm making a weird face."

Alice leaned forward, her black hair falling into her half empty bowl of porridge. "Can I get three guess?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You won't need three."

"I thought you weren't going to let him get to you anymore," Alice said, pulling her hair from her dish. "You said, I quote, That idiot and his band of morons can impale themselves on their own wands for all I care." Alice laughed breathily, and stuck the tips of her hair in her mouth.

Lily looked at Alice, round-faced, innocent Alice…sucking on the tips of her hair…and wondered what her life was coming to. "What am I doing?" Lily sighed, transfixed by the disgusting show of hair maintenance in front of her.

"You're eating breakfast, and trying to ignore James Potter," Alice grinned. Alice's eyes traveled over to the direction of said idiot and his band of morons. "Look! Something else is going on."

"I'm not looking," Lily shouted in a whisper, covering her eyes.

"Oh, look! Look! Black's all wiled up."

"I don't care! I'm not looking!"

"He turned around to look at something….wow, now you have to look at his butt!"

Lily pulled her hands down from her face to scowl at Alice. "Definitely not looking."

"He's running off somewhere…" Alice rose from her seat, leaning back and forth. "I think he went off after someone."

"Who cares?" Lily said, pulling her hair back. "Why is everyone so fascinated by those four? Like they're the be all and say all of Hogwarts. Like someday someone's going to write a book about them, a chapter in Hogwarts, A History; Chapter 1,461: How James Potter Gets His Hair So Perfect. No one would read it!"

Alice was sitting back straight in her chair, raising her thick black eyebrows at Lily. "Why you getting so worked up?"

"I am not!"

"You want to know what I think?"

"No."

"I think, that you, Miss Lily Evans, has James Potter on the brain."

Lily's mouth dropped open. She had never in all her life gotten a worse insult. "I most certainly do not!"

Alice flipped her hair over her shoulder with one chubby hand. "I think you're in love with him."

Lily blanched, and shook her head. "I'm telling Frank you think Sirius has a cute butt, if you say one more awful thing like that."

Alice shrugged. "I've already told him." Alice leaned back to send a flirty wave to her boyfriend sitting down the table. "Now," she continued, turning back to Lily. "The question is, do you think Potter has a cute butt?"

Lily couldn't help but get vivid images of seeing James stepping off his broom, James walking ahead of her up the stairs, James chasing Sirius around the common room.

"Long pause, with eyes unfocused, clearly means yes."

Lily gasped! "That wasn't a long pause!"

"Um, I do believe anything longer than saying no immediately after my question would qualify as a long pause."

"Well…." Lily tried to find the reason behind the madness. There was no way out of this conversation. And when there was no way out, Lily threw herself into the fire. "I mean, Alice! He plays Quidditch." The two girls lapsed into heavy giggles. It was moments like that, that made Lily wish she did have a boyfriend. Wish she had stories about her boyfriend to compare with Alice and her boyfriend stories.

Lily looked up from where she had her laughing face tucked into the crock of her arm. Alice had her happy eyes narrowed in on James down the table, who was pretending to listen to whatever nonsense Peter Pettigrew was choosing to ramble about, when actually he was sending tiny quick glances at Lily.

"You know Lily," Alice said. "I bet he's not that bad if you took him completely away from Sirius."

Lily sighed. "That's horrible though. I can't go up to him and say if you dump Black I'll be your girlfriend, because you know what would happen?"

"He'd do it."

"Exactly," Lily responded, laughing. "And then I'd have the wrath of Sirius Black on my hands, and it's not worth it." Lily stopped to think, and she remembered the most important factor. "And he lied."

Alice tilted her head to the side. "Who lied?"

"James."

"About…?"

"About Re-" Lily caught herself. She was normally so good at not slipping up. Whether Remus and Sirius were together, or not, they didn't deserve to be outed by her. "Nothing important."

"You know Lily," Alice started. Lily noted the slight decrease in volume and humor in her friend's voice. Alice had her eyes downcast, staring at the tiny circles she was making in her leftover food. "We've been friends since second year, and I hope…I mean you're my best friend. And…you can tell me you fancy James, its ok! I won't think anything less of you, and I won't make a poster and hang it in the Hall so that Snape finds out and goes berserk. Really! I'll just be your friend."

Lily smiled. "You are my best friend, Alice. And, well," Lily swallowed. There was a bubble in her throat. A hiccup that was filled with the truth, and she was going to burp it out once and for all. "Alice, I do fancy J…am. Jam. On my toast. Love it."

"What?" Alice followed Lily's panicked eyes up and over her own head, her gaze falling on the very upside down face of James Potter. "Oh." Alice swung around to look at him properly. "Hello, Potter."

"Alice," James said, nodding his head. "Hello Lily."

Lily remembered to blink; and her lungs remembered to breathe, and her heart remembered to beat, and her palms remembered to sweat. "James," Lily drawled.

"I came to apologize."

Lily held her hand out. "For?"

"For," James started. He stopped to take a big breath. "Sirius."

"What did Sirius do?" Alice asked, her head flying from James to Lily. She was completely unabashed about listening in to their conversation, and Lily was thankful to be the one with the entourage of friends for once; if one person ever qualified as an entourage.

"He, um, you know." James pointed back to where he and Sirius were sitting before as if that explained everything. "I mean, maybe-" James paused to sigh, his shoulders sinking down in defeat. "Maybe I want to really, like, apologize for, um, for myself."

Lily couldn't help it. She laughed. "Like that's possible," she practically shouted. She was a million thoughts all wrapped up in one person, and laughing was the easiest, most non-offensive, thing to do at the moment. "You can't apologize for yourself James. Because that means you have to not be full of yourself for one moment."

"It's not that, Lily!" James shouted back. "You make me nervous! How is a guy supposed to act around someone that makes their very molecular structure unhinged? All I can do is pretend to be cool and collected, because if I were to really show you what you reduce me to, they'd throw me in St. Mungo's Insanity Ward!"

"I heard they have pretty curtains," Alice said, felling weird being smack in the middle of James's and Lily's stare down. As far as she could tell, one of two things could happen. 1. Lily would throw her self across the table to snog James, kicking Alice in the face as a result. Or. 2. Lily would throw her self across the table to beat James up, kicking Alice in the face as a result. Either way, she had about five more seconds to learn a spell for fixing a broken nose.

To Alice's relief, Lily simply tossed her used napkin onto her empty plate, and folded her hands back in her lap. "James," Lily spoke up. "You ruined it. You ruined it right now by telling me things that are of unimportance to me. I could care less if I make you nervous. That's nonsense. Just like everything else you've ever spat at me! And I'm sick of looking like a complete fool."

James sighed again. "Well, then Lily, perhaps it's not in the stars for us. Perhaps we're just meant to be Head Girl and Head Boy, and then part ways. Perhaps-" Alice did her best to stifle a laugh as James's voice rose in volume and dramatics with each 'Perhaps'. Lily was doing her best to appear annoyed and not completely in like with the boy in front of her. "Perhaps I've wasted my time trying to win you over, but I'll tell you one thing Lily, I don't know your middle name, Evans! It. Was. Worth. It." James swung around, and with his head held high, stomped back over to his seat.

Alice turned back around and batted her eyelashes at Lily. "I have no idea what that was about but, it was adorable."

"No, it wasn't," Lily responded, pursing her lips. She could feel James's hazel eyes narrowing in on her like laser beams. She wasn't going to give in though. Nope. Hold tight to your standards, she told herself.

"Lily," Alice groaned. "I know what you're doing!"

Lily flipped her hair back over her shoulder, the slap it made against her shoulder blade indicating how annoyed she was. "What?"

Alice straightened her back. "You're sticking to your standards, which, by the way, is redundant because you've never had a boyfriend to set standards from."

"You've only ever had one boyfriend, by the way," Lily said. She flicked a piece of toast at Alice that missed its target by five inches and hit the arm of a passing Hufflepuff. Lily swooped her head down; No, that wasn't the Head Girl throwing food!

"Yes," Alice said, trying to look dignified after screaming because a piece of toast almost hit her. "And that one boyfriend makes me wiser than you in the ways of men."

"Ok then, let me ask you a question."

A twinkling bell rang through the Hall, telling the few stragglers that breakfast was indeed over.

"Oh, and our time is up here. Very sorry," Alice beamed.

Lily laughed, and neatly arranged her things in a largest to smallest order, for easy carrying. She and Alice fought their way out of the Great Hall, meeting up with Frank Longbottom in the corridor.

"Alice thinks Sirius has a nice butt," Lily said, shaking her head at Frank.

Frank laughed, and slung a strong arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. "Old news, Lil," he said before sweeping Alice into a kiss that made Lily feel weak.

And jealous.

Lily didn't want to watch Alice and Frank, but she couldn't tear her eyes from them. They were kissing, and whispering, and sharing the same air, and touching in every place that was proper while standing within the possible view of a professor.

For the fist time in her life, Lily felt like she didn't have everything. She had looks, and brains, and a quick wit, and a big heart. But besides her best friend, her parents, and her teaches, Lily had no one who appreciated everything about her like Frank and Alice did each other.

She thought for a moment, as she followed Frank and Alice down the stairs to Potions, that she might be alone forever. The weird girl who had everything, and let pride and foolishness and pettiness stand in her way.

She imagined bumping into James in five years, and James's wife, and James's kids…

And she felt sick to her stomach.

Lily squeezed her books to her chest. No one else was supposed to be with James! The thought hit her like a spell. No one else would treat James like how she would treat him; like a brain-dead baboon. A brain-dead baboon with a cute smile and a body that..."Alice? I do fancy James Potter."

"Of course you do Lily," Frank spoke up, looking at Lily over his shoulder. "Why else would you make yourself hate him so much?"

"The wisdom this boy has!" Alice proclaimed.

Lily couldn't believe it. Frank was wise; he was right. Lily didn't hate James. Not really. She made herself hate him. She found things to hate about him. Somethings of course, (like his choice of friends), couldn't be helped; but that one time when Lily hated James because one of his shoelaces was longer than the other, was just ridiculous. And maybe she hated James because she couldn't hate him. Because she knew that she could never hate him. He was too perfect.

Lily smiled. She made up her mind right there, finally. She was going to fix things with James. So what if he lied about Sirius and Remus, or didn't lie, or pretended to not lie, or whatever. James was a loyal friend, and accepting of others in different ways too; like a friend that was a dangerous beast; a girl who was anything but a pureblood. Lily wasn't going to let her opportunity for real love slip through her fingers. She was going to make James hers.

Right after Potions.

"…then I realized that if I were to stir the potion counter clockwise, as opposed to clockwise, it will obtain the light green hue much faster."

Lily nodded, as she quickly jotted down every important word that drawled from Severus Snape's thin mouth. The two Potions partners were the only ones left after class ended. They were Slughorn's favorites, so they were given extra time in the classroom, which they took. Everyday Lily and Snape sat at their desks for an extra half hour, sharing tips and just talking; an activity which always made Alice laugh, but Lily stayed with Snape mostly because she didn't think he had any other friends. "What about the bat wings though?" she asked, tapping her quill to her mouth.

Snape's lips pulled up into a slight smile. "You never miss a beat Lily," he whispered. Lily beamed, and shrugged. "Cut them length wise, don't chop," Snape said, unnecessarily leaning towards Lily.

"Perfect," Lily said, slightly uncomfortable with having Snape so close. With a hopefully suppressed shudder, Lily closed her notebook. Alice informed her last year that Snape had "the crush" on her, and ever since then she'd become wary of leading the boy on. Lily was sad that at her age, friendships with the opposite sex were just not possible. "Well, thanks so much, Severus. I don't know what I've done to be able to hear all your secrets."

Snape sat back in his chair, black eyes suddenly downcast. "You're…you're….ni-you're you, Lily," he said in barley a whisper. Lily noted Snape's twitchy fingers fiddling with the sleeve of his robes.

Oh Merlin, she mentally groaned. It was time to put that whole situation to an end, before it went too far. Lily reached out and put her hand on Snape's thin, but strong, shoulder. "You're a great friend, Severus."

Snape nodded silently. So he was a little heartbroken; he'd get over it. "Lily," Snape said. Please just say I'm a great friend too! Lily's thoughts hung on Snape's next sentence.

"Lily…if you wanted….I…I could….never mind."

Oh, for the love of everything magical… Lily dug her fingernails into her palm. She should have put an end to the whole Snape situation years ago; but, she had a soft spot for the boy that was constantly teased by everyone. She never wanted to date him, though. His hair was far too greasy.

"Severus, I-" Lily stopped. She wanted to let him down but nice, gently. "I'm not looking for anything more than friends right now." Please don't ever see me near James Potter for the rest of your life! "I need to focus on school."

"That's the most important," Snape agreed.

Lily smiled. Now Severus Snape? That boy had brains! "Glad you agree," Lily said, satisfied at how simple and easy dumping Snape was. She looked quickly down at her watch. "Well, I've got Head Girl duties to get to." Looking for James being top priority.

Lily stood up, followed immediately by Snape. "Same time tomorrow?" he asked.

"Of course!"

Lily gathered her books and moved around towards the exit. Followed immediately by Snape. "You know I have some great ideas on how to reform the Draught of Peace potion."

"Sounds interesting," Lily murmured, she began walking to the door. Snape took his long strides to match her quick ones.

"I've been thinking of trying my hands at, um, Amortentia."

Oh Gods. "Maybe."

Snape stopped, standing right in front of the exit door. Lily looked past him, but saw no other alternative. "Severus, you're blocking the door."

Snape snapped to attention and quickly moved to the left. "Sorry." Snape reached out a pale hand and grabbed Lily's arm. "See you tomorrow then."

Creep, creep, creep. "See you tomorrow," Lily mumbled quickly speeding out the door. Can't men be normal, Lily shouted in her head. "They're all nuts!"

"Well, missy, you're the one talking to yourself."

Lily threw a nasty look at the painted woman hanging on the wall next to her. She didn't have time to stop and argue with one dimensional people. Lily had a free period at that moment, and instead of her usual destination, the library, and her usual activity, ignoring the world, Lily decided to find James and apologize for being a royal bitch.

And maybe drop that she did in fact harbor secret odd feelings for him that sprang out of no where; or may have surfaced from actually getting to know him and not just brushing him off as a brain-dead baboon.

In other words, Lily needed to find James. She had to apologize. She couldn't lose him because if after James her next option was Snape, they were going to find her body hurled from her dorm window.

Lily ran like never before. From hallway to hallway, floor to floor. Dodging students, professors, ghosts.

She ran like a crazed spider monkey up to the astronomy tower, three steps at a time; all the better to see the Quidditch pitch, and the…tiny blue figures buzzing around the stands. Grr!

Lily hobbled back down the ten million flights of stairs at a much slower pace, stopping every sixth step to catch her breath.

When she finally reached the bottom, Lily took a second to straighten her skirt, smooth down her hair, and shift her books to the other hip before she resumed her speedy tour of Hogwarts.

After checking the Quidditch pitch for James, the next best place to go was the kitchen. Then the court yard, the willow tree, the lake, back in the castle, Lily ran right past the library not even sending it a blink, the Great Hall.

The second last location on her mental list of places to find James was the Gryffindor common room. Lily stood panting like a mad woman, clutching the back of a chair. Her fiery red hair was wind swept and tangled. One of her knee socks had fallen. Her cheeks were flushed. And she was pretty sure half the room was staring at her shirt, which had popped open.

"As Head Girl," Lily shouted, all fake confidence and ragged breathing. "I demand that you get back to work!" All eyes snapped away from her, and Lily took that moment to survey the room.

No huddled group whispering in the corner. No loud, obnoxious boys giggling. No heads of messy, black hair.

Lily sat down in the seat she had been leaning on for life support and sighed. There was only one other place to check for James. Two sparkling, green eyes traveled the length of the common room and straight up to the boy's dorms.

She didn't dare go up there. If anything, the smell alone would make anyone run away. What am I going to do? Lily thought to herself. Go up to his room just to apologize for something he probably doesn't even care about or remember? And then after I apologize, and he accepts, then there I am! Standing in the middle of his room! Right near where he sleeps every night! Awkward!

Lily thought for a second. She stood up. Or I can be a Gryffindor and just go up there and get it over with! The more I delay, the more time for me to change my mind.

Lily threw her head back and walked to the stairs that led to the boy's dorms. Ignoring everyone else in the room, Lily stalked up the staircase, and didn't stop until she came face to face with the door marked "Seventh Years". Lily took a deep breath, stopped to button her shirt back up, took another big breath and pushed the door open.

"Jame-"

Lily's voice fell as her eyes immediately took in what was happening in front of her. On the bed across from the door, a boy with long, silky, black hair was on all fours, reaching his head forward, sliding his tongue into the mouth of another boy with soft brown hair who was sitting with his back against the headboard, fingers clenched around the first boy's collar, pulling him closer, if that was possible.

Lily quickly whipped her head back into the hallway, and quietly shut the door. Well, she thought, leaning heavily against the closed door. Now she really wanted to find James.

Lily walked back down the stairs, with her head down, lost in her own thoughts. She was knocked to the side slightly, and looked up at whoever hit her shoulder.

"Sorry…Lily," Peter Pettigrew stammered. "I wasn't looking and, I…" Peter looked from Lily to his dorm and back again.

"I was looking for James," Lily explained, politely. "I thought he'd be up in his room."

"Oh, ok," Peter said, nodding. "He's visiting Hagrid."

"Hagrid," Lily groaned, smacking her head. She forget to check there, of course; but if she did, she wouldn't have seen what she saw in the Seventh Years Boy's dorm.

"Was anyone up in the room?" Peter asked, all ready starting to make his way up the staircase.

Lily looked into Peter's face. She didn't like him. There was something about him that turned her off. His pointy nose. His watery eyes. The way he always clambered after James like he was a God. Lily tilted her head to the side and smiled. "No," she said.