Author's Note: I'm thinking I may wrap up this story within a part or two. Would anyone have an interest in a retold episode or two based on this character?

(The one thing I'm going to resist is the Mirror, Mirror temptation.)

Or is Veronica Mars the sociopath best in small doses?

Disclaimer: Rob Thomas created all of these characters and their settings. All I own is this particular storyline.

X X X X X

Ah, Lilly.

Dear, sweet, Lilly Kane.

I learned a lot from her.

The most important thing she gave me was my entrée into the Neptune High elite, of course, but she did a lot more for me than that.

(No, not that. Get your mind firmly out of the gutter. I'm not saying I'd never sleep with a woman if it was necessary, but my physical lusts run strictly to the male of the species.)

One of the things I learned most from Lilly was charm. A lot of that I learned from my father, of course, but Lilly's charm was an entirely different kind. Dad's charm is the kind that wants to gain trust, respect, and information. Lilly's is the kind intended to gain the love and admiration of all who surround her.

And she was damned good at it. If I hadn't lucked out in being who I was, I probably would have fallen for it too. As it was, I could sit back and admire her technique and pretend to buy into it while I figured out what she did and how she did it.

She "took me under her wing," promising to "draw me out to become the goddess I was meant to be." And since that is what I was meant to be, I let her.

I let her show me the ways of dealing with these people, ingratiating myself with people with whom otherwise I would have nothing in common. She taught me how to dress to impress – impress parents, friends, and men.

She confided sexual techniques to me – how to make guys happy in bed. A lot of what I learned, I learned initially from her. Of course, I've gone well beyond what she taught me, but she gave me the initial push. Not than Duncan was ever especially appreciative, but Logan – oh yes, Logan definitely is.

Of course, Logan thinks I love him, just like Duncan did, and just like Lilly did. I tell him so on a regular basis, and he knows he's the only one I'm sleeping with.

Which is, for the most part, true. That was one of Lilly's problems: she absolutely could not stay faithful. She'd bounce from Logan to Weevil Navarro -- which would have made excellent blackmail; still could, if Weevil ever decides to get rowdy. But Weevil's a smart boy. He knows better than to try to cross me. I haven't even had to make the threat.

Not that I haven't managed to flirt my way into the hearts of half a dozen other guys at Neptune High, all of whom think they have a shot at me one day. But Logan keeps me physically satisfied and he's the highest-ranking male at Neptune at the moment, so really, how could I do better?

Anyway, Lilly. Lilly had two weaknesses. One is that she slept around; the other is that, essentially, she loved people and expected them to love her back unreservedly. For instance, it was always okay for her to cheat on Logan, but never okay for him to do the same. (Again, not that I'm moralizing here. If it's ever necessary for me to cheat on Logan, I'll do it in a heartbeat. But at least I realize the inequity of such a relationship.)

Also, she had a conscience. Not much of one, it's true, but she was loyal to those she cared about, even when they stopped being useful to her.

But, oddly, it was more the first than the second that brought about her downfall.

Okay, downfall, death, blah blah blah.

That day at the car wash, when she came storming up to me, she was clearly in a bad mood. Why, I didn't know. She was regularly getting laid by Aaron Echolls – I found this out one day when I dropped by the Echolls house and saw them slip into the poolhouse.

Which was fine by me; I was there to slip into something else, anyway, but he wasn't there. So I instead took a few photographs – future blackmail, I thought at the time, although now I guess I could use them to frame Aaron if I had to. (Though I'd better be careful if I do. Aaron has a nasty temper.)

He hits Logan. Did you know that? Logan told me that one time as we lay there, exhausted after sex. (We don't 'make love.' Really, what a stupid euphemism. We fuck. We fuck well, and often, and to the physical satisfaction of both of us. But there's no love involved. Even if Logan doesn't believe that.)

It hadn't been hard to notice the scars covering his back. Getting him to talk about them was more difficult. Honestly, I was just curious. Logan seemed like such a tough person on the outside, and to let someone hit him -- You can believe me when I say I had to plans to go after the person who did it – unless, of course, it would do me some good along the way.

"Logan," I said. "Who did this to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" I said. "Oh. Do you like to be hurt? Because I can do that if –"

"No," he said angrily. "I don't like to be hurt. And I can't imagine you liking to hurt people."

"I don't," I said. (The truth. I neither like nor hate it. I simply do it because I have to.) "But if you did, I was willing to do it for you." After a second, "I love you," I lied.

"I know you do," he said. "And, God, I love you. More than I can say." For a while after Lilly's death, he'd felt guilty about us being seen together in public. I was willing to keep it private for a while, but eventually managed to convince him that "Lilly would have wanted us to be happy."

I don't think I've ever said anything funnier in my life.

"Then tell me," I said gently.

And he did. That's when I found out exactly what kind of person Aaron Echolls was: abusive, fanatically dedicated to his self-image, and willing to use anyone or anything to get his way. I think he may have been born with the same advantages I have. I wonder if he recognizes that in me as well.

Back to Lilly. I hadn't yet begun to make my move to replace her – although the confrontation was coming, I don't think she believed I'd ever do anything to hurt her – that I would be happy being the princess to her queen.

As they say, dream on. I had marked out my path already in life, and being a social leader who was still an intellectual (and had time for extracurricular activities) was just the first step.

Anyway, once you've ruled a high school, with the petty politics and backbiting, ruling pretty much anywhere else has to be a piece of cake. I haven't yet determined exactly how far I want to go – Governor? Senator? President? – but I'm going to get there someday. That's one of the reasons being a lawyer will be useful.

Hmmm. Probably better off being a prosecutor, then. People tend to like those who put criminals away more than they do those who get them off on technicalities.

Too bad. I think defense work would be more fun. (Cliff McCormack always seems to be having a good time.) The sacrifices I make, I swear --

Once again, back to Lilly. Sorry for my continual digressions. To the best of my knowledge, by the time of the car wash, I hadn't done anything to hurt her at that point. This may be one of the minor handicaps of not having a conscience, though -- not always realizing when you've done something "wrong" by other people's standards. I know the rules, I have them internalized, but that doesn't mean I might not have missed a few here and there.

I told you earlier that her downfall was that she expected other people to love her back. To love her enough not to betray her.

People like, say, me.

Or Logan.