Yami's koi: wow! Hi there, this is an actual update, since when has anything of the sort occurred in a while?
Nefertiri: what's with the Posh-Ness?
Yami's koi: well… I just had a lotta sugar… Lol. Too much of my mom's birthday present can be a bad thing.
Nefertiri: (Sighs)
Yami's koi: okay, here's the chapter of Headstrong. I was kinda figuring out where to go with this, so it might be somewhat of a slow start!
Ryou's eyes turned away from Bakura, afraid of revealing too much. He said nothing for a while, and so they carried on walking. Just before they reached their front door, however, Ryou paused.
"Whilst you may say that… I may believe you…" Bakura glanced up, hopefully. His light's eyes were dark, and unhappy.
"… But it will take me a long time until I can trust you."
And with that said, Ryou unlocked the front door and entered. He immediately inhaled the scent of cleaning products, and walked slowly into the living room.
It had changed dramatically. Newspapers, magazines and papers were stacked neatly into a holder. The chairs and tables looked brand new, and clean for once – no dried vomit, no cigarette ash, no nothing. Just cleanness. The carpet was still slightly damp in places, but, looking down, Ryou was glad to see that he had not stepped in a pile of sick. Now, that was something. Empty wine bottles, beer cans and the like had been taken away, probably now in the trash.
And there was an even bigger surprise waiting for him in the chair nearest to the window.
"Hi Ryou…" Malik said softly, uncertainty and apprehension lost in his voice. "I…" He opened his arms, rising to a stand. "Welcome home."
All Ryou could do was stare at him in wonder.
"Malik… you did this!" He exclaimed, limping over to the Egyptian and embracing him. Malik seemed to tense in his arms.
"Well… Bakura was cleaning when I came here, so I decide to help, once I'd calmed down." Malik explained, drawing away from Ryou's shoulder to look his friend in the eye. "But is it a nice surprise?"
Ryou had to bite his tongue slightly at this. His head warned him that this was all a charade, and that as soon as he began to trust and forgive Bakura again, he would strike. His heart, however, told him not to doubt his yami… to give him a chance. After all, was it really Bakura's fault that he had been possessed?
Bakura shrugged at his hikari's lack of response, quietly leaving the house so that Malik and Ryou could talk. If they wanted privacy, then they could have it.
Ryou used his delay as an excuse to splutter slightly, barely acknowledging that his yami had left.
"Well, what do you think! This place looks amazing!" Ryou exclaimed, hiding his inner pain and dark thoughts. 'Can I trust Malik as well? Am I just being paranoid, or should I be cautious? Marik could possess him, too… he did so easily to Bakura, and now that Marik and Malik have split, he could want revenge.'
Malik regarded his friend quietly, making mental notes. His eyes remained unreadable, but a certain amount of discomfort radiated from him. Ryou didn't look at him for a while, and then he slowly turned and sat back down.
And then, Malik clicked in. He froze.
"You think… I'm being possessed, don't you?"
Almost ashamed at his own mistrust, Ryou nodded, raising his head.
"I don't want to think that way, but Marik must be furious at you ditching him. If we don't hear from him again, it would be a miracle. I just… can't help but feel like I should be cautious about who I trust… that's all. And I don't want to accuse, or make enemies, but I can't be too careful." Ryou explained in a low, sad tone.
Malik smiled brightly. "Well, I haven't felt anything yet. The mind link is frozen, of course," He added, seeing Ryou's sceptical grin, "But other than that, I can't feel any change in myself. Apart from…" He trailed off, one hand slowly curling around his side to touch the bottom of his back self-consciously, "You know…"
Ryou barely made a nod, his mind rampant with thoughts. He had to express himself now, whilst he still had the attention… because that was, surely, why Malik was there.
"The people at the hospital wanted me to take counselling."
Malik raised an eyebrow. "And? What did you say?"
Ryou shrugged. "I told them where to go. I'm not bothered about counselling… as long as I finally get noticed."
At that, Malik felt even guiltier. He shifted on his feet, before backing into a chair. Out of habit when he was nervous, he withdrew his Millennium Rod, staring at his gold surface, seeing his reflection.
"I know none of us has exactly been talking to you much lately," Malik whispered, still staring at his lavender eyes in the circular surface, "But we still thought about you. In all fairness, you never did come out with us when we asked…"
"That was because you would all be kissing and feeling each other up, something that I shouldn't have been jealous about, but I was." Ryou cut in suddenly, eyes narrowing as he stared at the newly cleaned carpet. "I've never felt love like that, apart from when Mom was alive. And I hate to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, and like I'm an attention seeker, but I was reluctant to let that happen again… to be loved, and then to have it cruelly taken away."
Malik nodded, understanding. "I know. I can't blame you for that, but your Mom is dead. I'm sorry that Bakura hasn't been the best yami in the world, and I almost wish that you and him could love each other."
Ryou smirked uncharacteristically. "Now, now, don't make it sound like you're a member of the Love, Life and Slut Association set up by Anzu, dedicated to spreading peace and love. Bakura just… isn't the kind of person I would go for."
Malik understood that.
"And I guess it'll take a while before you can trust him again."
Ryou nodded, and then began to voice more of what was on his mind. He hadn't vented in what had seemed to be an age… and this was a non-violent, non-painful way of doing it. He missed feeling a blade across his wrist, and the sweatband covering it up… but knew that if life was going to go the way it was now, he would never have to look at a knife like it was a lover.
"Malik…" He didn't go on until the Egyptian's eyes looked at his own. "Tell me… and be honest, please… Would you honestly blame me if I never trusted him again?"
Malik sighed. He had feared something like this would crop up. Advice was no generally something he wad good at giving, but if Ryou would benefit from it, appreciate it… then he would just have to do his best.
"Well… yes and no. I wouldn't blame you if you never trusted him again because I know, as well as you know, that every time Shadow Magic is used, it takes energy from you. If this energy level drops down to a very low number, then the person's state can become critical. And, of course, if it drops to zero… then they die. Maintaining a spell also takes a lot out of you, and I rarely ever felt much energy being zapped away from Marik, but my mind was usually focused on… other things.
"So, because of this, we can't be certain that Bakura was always under Marik's influence. He may have had side effects to the excessive amounts of Shadow Magic place upon him, but we can't be sure of that, either. What Bakura did… we can't always say it was Marik's doing, because we weren't experiencing what the Tomb Robber was. And I'm pretty sure that if he said there were days when he didn't fell any different, you wouldn't believe him. So… no, in that aspect, I wouldn't blame you. If that was all, then I'd call you nuts if you even considered forgiving Bakura."
Ryou squeezed his eyes shut. He knew that there was more to come, and Malik's last speech had almost given him a headache. It played with his mind.
"And why you wouldn't blame me?"
Malik smiled, continuing. "Again I refer back to what I just said. He must have had days where he wasn't under Marik's influence, and so there were no beatings. We can't be sure of this, but Bakura may have been fighting against Marik's magic… that might also have been why you didn't get yourself abused. And, also…" Malik shifted in his chair slightly.
"Bakura was the one who called the Ambulance. I doubt that he would have done that if he wanted to kill you… otherwise, he would have taken great pleasure in watching you… well, die." Malik said bluntly, blushing at how open-minded he sounded. "And he wouldn't have stayed in the hospital with you last night had he always been that way, regardless of what magic Marik had imposed upon him."
Every time Malik had said his yami's name, a hint of anger and spite entered his voice, only to fade away when the next word was voiced. Ryou thought about what Malik had said, and saw that it all made sense.
Malik, however, wasn't about to allow Ryou to fall silent so quickly.
"So, why did you ask? Are you wondering if you should give him a second chance?"
Ryou nodded. "Yeah… I am…" He muttered, not giving too much away. "I still feel cautious about what I do, but then people would think I was deliberately cutting him off," He added, to himself. Malik heard what he said, and sighed.
"Don't be put under pressure by what you think other people will do. Yami said he would have banished Bakura to the Shadow Realm… but didn't because he wanted you to decide."
Ryou rolled his eyes. "Great. I don't even know if I want him in either Realm, to be honest… It's confusing."
Malik patted his friend on the shoulder. "Well, if you ever need relief… I mean, help… you know where I am."
Ryou shook the hand off lightly. "Gomen… but I doubt I'll be falling for you. I'm never going to be able to trust anyone fully again after this… I know how much hurt men can cause."
Malik's eyes brightened at tat. "So you are gay?"
Ryou shrugged. He didn't really have much time to consider things like that, not with being abused for fuck all anyway… and if Bakura had known him to be gay, who knows what Marik would have had him do? He would admit to himself things like that when he was good and ready.
"Put it this way: Mai's kissed more girls than me."
Bakura
He wasn't going anywhere in particular, but he just happened to walk into the Kame Game Shop, where Yugi was stocking shelves. He turned, and his eyes narrowed.
"I see you're still here," He hissed, unknown malice hurled at Bakura. His amethyst eyes, usually full of happiness and love… all the things that Bakura knew little of… well, at the moment, Yugi's eyes were full of emotions that the Thief considered normal.
He shrugged. "I just came over to say that we know why I was hurting Ryou. It was Marik's Millennium Rod, putting me under his Influence… and whenever Malik's tattoo burned, that was when his energy was really being drained away, maintaining the spell over me. That's all.
"But you won't believe me, will you? You'll just think that I'm either lying, or that I was only Marik's puppet like, once a week. But whatever you think, I couldn't give a shit. I just want to rebuild a new life, for me and my hikari."
Yugi glared at Bakura.
"And that's what you came here to say?" He asked, voice so seething that it was almost chilling. An innocent young man was practically killing Bakura with his voice.
Bakura shrugged. "In all reality, little Yugi, I don't know why I even came here at all. I left Malik and Ryou alone together so that they could talk… I'm not one to butt in, so I complied."
Yugi rolled his eyes, just as his yami appeared in the doorway leading into the house they shared. His eyes narrowed.
"You!"
Bakura raised his arms to lie horizontal, and he grinned.
"In the flesh, Pharaoh. If Yugi doesn't tell you what I just told you… then fine, but you'll be the ones missing out. Ryou's at home now… he might appreciate a friend, someone who doesn't actually hold a Millennium Rod."
Yami jumped at that, checking the time. It was just about near closing time, so he instantly began to prepare the shop to close. Bakura grinned, turning and exiting from the shop, heading back home. If the two Mutou's followed him, then so be it.
Ryou and Malik
Malik gave Ryou a sympathetic look.
"Well… obviously you haven't known about her sexuality then, either."
Ryou groaned, closing his eyes. No way… no way did he and Mai share something like that in common.
"Oh Gods, the only girls I know who she knows are Anzu, them annoying girls who hang outside the Grocery Store, Ishizu, Shizuka--"
"Okay, stop there!" Malik cut in, grinning. Ryou frowned for a moment… and understood the boy's clever timing. Mai and… Shizuka? No… way.
Well, it was better than he and Anzu. Had that transpired, Ryou would have seriously considered taking a gun to Mai's head and asking her very searching questions about her sanity. Still, an unusual couple… he had always had Mai down as a bi, but not with someone as gentle and as caring as Shizuka… Ishizu was definitely out, though. Although pretty in her own way, Ryou doubted she was the type Mai would go for. He almost laughed when he had a brain freeze moment and asked himself who was dominant in the Ma/Ka relationship.
"Dude… I don't know if I'm on pot or if the rest of the world is. Either way, I think I'm losing it," Ryou stated, leaning back in his seat casually. Malik shrugged.
"Hey, just updating you. Better to know everything than not, eh?"
Ryou gave him a dark look. "Does that apply with you and Marik?" He asked before he could stop himself.
Malik's eyes seemed to harden, and the colour within darkened. They went so cold, Ryou felt his soul shiver inside of him. When Malik next spoke, his voice was a low and deadly hiss.
"Yes, Ryou… It does."
Just at that moment, when Malik's eye colour returned to the normal lavender, the door opened. Glancing up, Ryou saw Yugi, Yami and Bakura enter. His heart dropped down a notch, but didn't allow any readable emotion to pass across his face.
"Hey Ryou," Yugi tried softly, standing in front of the obviously emotionally confused boy. Ryou said nothing, just staring at his friends in a silent moment that pissed Yami off slightly. Ryou sensed it just as well as Yugi could, but gave no response other than a fleeting grin.
"Um… you okay there, Ryou?" Yugi asked timidly, getting more and more apprehensive every second. He had wanted to come over and help Ryou to recover, not to make him think that his death would be just another thing on his conscience.
Ryou shrugged – the first response Yugi had managed to coax from him.
"I've been better."
Yugi frowned slightly at the short, hollow answer, but didn't let his determination waver any.
"At least you're not in hospital anymore, right? None of those annoying people asking you to go into counselling… Bet that's a relief, eh?"
Again, Ryou gave a short answer: "I guess."
Yami decided to butt in.
"Would you prefer it if we left, Ryou? Because I honestly don't know what you want from us at this moment. You tried to kill yourself because you felt so neglected, and then you treat us like shit?"
Ryou gave the Pharaoh a very small smile. "I don't know what I want from you. But I was wondering…" Ryou stood and began to circle around Yugi, Yami and Bakura, very slowly. "… If you would like to start over. I've learnt to never waste time on someone unwilling to waste time on me… And it does make so much sense, wouldn't you agree?
"So… this offer is to everyone but Bakura. What do you think, Yami and Yugi? You want to sleep on it… or are you going to tell me your answer now?" Ryou stretched, showing off his smooth, flat stomach. "Either way, I'm not fussed. But it would be nice to know that at least three people out there care for me: Yugi, Yami and Malik."
Bakura's heart jumped when he heard Ryou speak his name – at least he didn't hate him more than Malik did Marik – but then felt his stomach drop when he heard that Ryou wasn't bothering to offer him the same as what he did to Yami and Yugi.
Yami turned to his hikari, discussing the proposition through the mind link. Yugi's eyes kept changing expressions, not that it meant much to Ryou. He would appreciate it if he had friends as great as them, but he wasn't going to allow this agreement to be a light-hearted thing they all forgot within a week. If they didn't arrange to meet, go out or socialise with each other at least twice a week… then Ryou would tell them to fuck off. He didn't have time for people like that, and after what he had been through, he thought he was being quite rational. After all, didn't he deserve something of the sort?
Of course, whenever he asked himself a question such as that, he always came to the same conclusion.
Yami turned back to face Ryou, regarding him warily.
"You mean this? You're being serious?"
Ryou shrugged. "How ever serious you wish to take me now, Yami, is up to you. But I think I am being deadly serious… But it's okay if you won't accept. Really. I wouldn't cry over you."
Yami's eyes curved happily. He extended his hand.
"Offer accepted."
Ryou gave him an actual true smile – it was fleeting, but it warmed his friend's heart on impact.
Bakura leaned against the doorframe. He knew he deserved much less than what Ryou was giving him already, which wasn't much, but he just felt so… lonely.
And then he realised what Ryou was trying to do to him. He was attempting to make him feel as he did when he was trying to kill himself… No one there to listen to him, no one who would give him the time of day. He felt so degraded for a moment that he took a step back, losing his balance.
Ryou seemed to acknowledge this at any rate, and turned to face his yami. His expression didn't change, but something warned Bakura that his fate was being decided. He raised his arms.
"Well… If you're to have a new life, I guess someone had better banish me to the Shadow Realm." He said quietly, trembling inside. "Otherwise it will all start again, right? That's what you believe."
Ryou fingered his Millennium Ring, staring at Bakura in thought. He gripped it suddenly, tearing the cord off from around his neck. He pointed it at Bakura, and the Thief gave him a wry smile.
"Make sure you don't end up where I'm going, Ryou." He muttered softly, but he knew his hikari had heard him. Bakura gave him a small smile, but it wasn't of his usual evil standard – it was actually a true smile, like the one Ryou had just gave to Yami.
Ryou just stared at the end of his Item, one of the spikes pointing directly at his yami. With a sigh, he lowered the Ring and turned slightly. He didn't wish to talk to the Thief directly.
"I will not send you to the Shadow Realm because you deserve a place much different than that," He said softly, eyes hardening uncharacteristically. "However…
"Just because I am willing to give you that much dignity and respect… doesn't mean that it will ever be anything more. You still have a lot of things you owe me for… and I intend to get them back. I've missed a good few years of my life for you, and I want them back, too."
Bakura swallowed, hard. His finger pressed into a long scar that shot up his side, purely out of nervousness.
"So… Does this mean that you trust me?"
Ryou turned his head slightly, just so that he could see his yami from the corner of his eye. "I trust you no more than I do Marik. You must prove to me that you can be trusted… that when you were under Marik's influence, you beat me, and that when you were not Marik's puppet… You were good to me." Ryou's eyes lowered. "I can't recall many of those times, so you may just have to remind me about some of them. Refresh my memory when you have some idea of how lonely I felt."
Bakura gave his light a watery smile. "I think I know a millionth of that sorrow right now. But for now… that will do."
Ryou nodded, turning back to face the wall.
"Now, get the hell out of here. I need some time to think. Tomorrow you will begin persuading me. You have two weeks, did I mention that?" Ryou smiled at his own wickedness. "No, I don't believe that I did. Anyway, go on. Leave. There I things I must do with my friends first."
The amount of emphasis Ryou put on the word 'friends' made Bakura hiss, but not from anger – from the knowledge that his hikari could be just as vindictive, just as sadistic as he could when he tried.
And the strange thing was… Bakura loved it.
Yami's koi: wow… sorry about the wait, gies! I had a bit of writers' block when writing this, so… ehe?
Nefertiri: writer's block. Yeah, right. You added at least two chapters on Accidents Can Happen whilst you wrote this.
Yami's koi: well, I actually know where ACH is going, that's bloody well why! Um. Reviews and fan art would be greatly appreciated, would you believe it. So… angsty ending, or a romantic ending? You can decide for me, I'm not bothered… But it would be nice if I wrote something about what you gies wanted to see, rather than just some random bull.
Nefertiri: basically, she doesn't want to write what she normally does. So there.
Yami's koi: something like that, yeah. So… review me, onegai? You get a chibi picture of Jou… well, as soon as I get a scanner you will, Lol. JA NE!