A/N: These characters aren't mine, silly. No es mio. Es de Senora Rowling. As you can tell, I've had a few crazy Spanish classes in the last few days… and I feel the need to impose it on all of you.

Hermione sat silently contemplating the implications of the situation. Why, you ask? Because she does so at the start of every chapter, if you haven't noticed. And if you haven't noticed, the author will take a break to chastise you.

… … …

Do you feel chastised yet? Good. Moving on!

Where was I? Oh, yes! Contemplating the situation. Wait! Hermione was, not me. I mean… y'all get that, right? I hope so. Just clarifying.

"Um… we sort of have to start the story now Sa—," the author gasps, clapping a hand over Hermione's mouth.

"How dare you! You almost said my name! That's it! You are not going to be used to explain anything in this chapter! You hear me? Nothing!" The author runs off in a huff, leaving a flabbergasted (A/N: Hehehe... flabbergasted…) Hermione to wonder what just happened. She scuffed about the Department of Mysteries, the others just standing around as well. What were they supposed to do without the author?

Ten minutes later.

It was at this point that the author realized that she had left Jo's characters floating about in the Department of Mysteries without any of her zany guidance. It was also at this point that the author realized she could spell and use the word 'zany'. Moving on!

"Oh, honestly, Sa—," a smack silenced Hermione into submission, and the author prodded all of the characters into action to weave her semi-plot into a somewhat more sensible situation. But before said author could write her characters up something interesting to do, they were transported to America. Because honestly, where else is there to go? It's not like they ever go to China, or Russia. It's either America or England. Other places are just underappreciated, and rarely used.

After getting off on a tangent, the author allowed the semi-plot to continue. Harry looked around, before giggling with glee. Finally! The inexplicably living boy think-cackled. I get to be the one who handles things again! I get to explain what's going on, and decided where to go! I—

"Let's go to the American Branch of the Ministry, they'll know what to do," said Sirius, walking off in the direction of the American Branch of the Ministry. How does he know where the American Branch of the Ministry is, you ask? Because there's a colossal sign that says 'American Branch of the Ministry this way' with an arrow pointing towards a big building with the title 'American Branch of the Ministry: A Refuge for the Mysteriously Transported English Wizard (And Revived Boy Who Lived Yet Can't Explain Anything)'.

Harry fell to his knees, hands outstretched and face twisted into an anguish-filled scream. He clutched at his scar, sobbing out to the others, "It's Voldemort! He's in there! That's not the Ministry! I think we should do something else! Like… go off on an adventure! Yea! That's it!"

"Shut up, Harry," Sirius snapped. "You're just mad because you don't get to direct the flow of the story anymore! We're going inside! Now get up and let's go!" Ron snickered under his breath at this, thinking that finally it was Harry who was being chastised for being an absolute moron, and not him.

Harry muttered under his breath as he rose and walked with the others towards the American Branch of the Ministry, words like 'stupid plan' and 'it won't work' floating around. The others, though they heard everything, chose to ignore it, much like they had when Harry heard the snake in second year. That's right, everyone could hear that damn snake. People just liked to pretend they didn't to see Harry freak out. People really can be cruel sometimes. Moving on!

The four wizards ("I'm a witch, you evi—," Hermione was subdued by the author once again.) entered the American Branch of the Ministry, only to be caught in Voldemort's trap. That's right. Harry was correct in his thinking that it was a trap. I mean, come on. A big sign? …Moving on!

The four wizards (Ok… three wizards and a b…witch.) put up a valiant fight, but were soon pinned into the corner by an immeasurable number of Death Eaters, because that's what always seems to happen in fan fics. They all went outside, however, when Lord Voldemort apparated into the room. How did Lord Voldemort know that they were going to be there? … He set the trap, and this story just twists and turns into Neverland. Not Neverland, like Michael Jackson Neverland. The other Neverland. The untainted Neverland. Moving on!

"Harry… Potter…," Voldemort hissed. "You… must come… and fight… me."

"Why are you hissing?" Harry yelled out to the Dark Lord, before turning to his friends, looking thoroughly confused. "Why is he hissing!" When met with similar looks and shrugs, Harry shook his head and stepped out from behind the large statue that had somehow popped up without the author's mention to face the monster.

"You guys get out of here; I'll take care of him." Harry yelled, seemingly forgetting that he had already died once facing Voldemort. His friends did not, however, and ran. Out the door. Into the crowd of Death Eaters that were waiting there. Oops. Guess Harry should've specified. Moving on!

The author gets wide-eyed, her unattractive trait of chewing her lip when she gets nervous surfacing. What was going to happen? How were Ron, Hermione, and Sirius going to get out of this one? Was Harry going to die, AGAIN? Why can't Hermione explain anything in this chapter? The author smacks any and all readers who wondered that question, telling them to reread. Shame on you! It is here that the author brazenly asks for reviews, and possibly hints at where her other story, Hiding, should go… because she has writers block. The only story she doesn't seem to have writers block on is this one… because honestly… there's no way to get stuck in this story… Anyways. Moving on!