What Happened Last Time on: "A Fork in an Eye": After James Potter's lips come into contact with Lily's cheek; she does the bravest thing that comes to mind: she spins on her heel in true Lily Evans fashion. Soon after, she bumps into Lucy who tries to subtly tell her that there is a conspiracy going on, planned by one Sirius Black. However, clearly James Potter's lips have plagued her with bewilderment, leaving Lily understanding nothing Lucy is saying and wanting desperately to return to her mother's womb. Alas, classes must return after Hogsmeade fun, and Lily finds Potions going relatively well (if by 'relatively well' you mean 'absolutely dreadful' as she is partnered with Snape and sees James and Lucy yet again too cosy for comfort) until Sirius Black, amateur muggle super hero, looses his footing and tumbles into a cauldron of Veritaserum…
Chapter 8: In which Sirius blabbers…more than usual
– By Procrastinatorstarting2moro
Out of all the days for Sirius Black to loose his footing, today had been the ill-fated date. Of course, he couldn't have lost his footing and stumbled into a basket full of kittens, or a field of daises. No, Sirius had to fall into a cauldron. Always getting into such madcap situations, Remus had told Sirius, and Sirius was beginning to believe that statement was true, but could no longer ponder the assertion about his unusually unstable un-self as he fell forward and landed head-first into the cauldron of Veritaserum.
He was lucky the potion wasn't boiling and hadn't burnt off any of his handsome facial features (he has an exceptional nose, Peter tells him). It was moderately warm, Sirius noticed, like a cup of tea left too long on the bedside table; not hot, not cold, but not the right temperature to drink.
It also felt like drowning; a rather disturbing version of the bobbing-for-apples game at Halloween, where you dunk your head in punch searching for the apparent fruit that you eat a day (to keep the doctor away, no doubt) except Sirius found it particularly difficult to resurface.
His hands gripped the rim of the cauldron as he tried to pull his head out of the potion, but it was though it was sucking at him. It felt strangely like that overenthusiastic Hufflepuff snogging him at the last Christmas party, or he could compare it to the same strong pull of a pensieve, which is a feeling he is particularly familiar with, as a curious yet troublesome child he'd plunged his head into his Uncle Alphard's pensieve and found himself before a rather intimate scene involving his Aunt Elladora.
Eye contact between Sirius and that particular Aunt -also known as Lover-of-house-elf-beheading- had no longer been made since that day.
The potion flooded Sirius' ears, and as he opened his mouth to scream a "Bloody help me," he was a little disappointed that no humorous bubbles popped out, instead making a sort of strangled gurgle. Opening his mouth to scream for help was also foolish, seeing as masses of potion immediately gushed into his mouth as his lips parted, and Sirius had to swallow the potion down, or he might just die and he had the overbearingly bigheaded feeling that people would miss him.
Suddenly, he was aware of a pair of hands gripping his hair and shoulders, pulling his head out of the cauldron. Once he reemerged into the classroom air, he gasped for breath while pushing his soggy hair rather handsomely out of his eyes. He made a familiar dog-like shake of himself, as though he'd just taken a dip of the local river.
"Padfoot?" Remus eyed him with noticeable concern. Apparently he was the one to jump to Sirius' aid and Sirius was extremely appreciative, nodding gratefully in return.
"Told you he wouldn't clear that cauldron," James told Peter smugly. Sighing, Peter handed his Sickles over to James.
"Are you alright, mate?" James asked Sirius eventually. Though an inappropriate bet had been made, Sirius' well-being did matter to James.
"Is he alright?" Snape repeated his words in a dry manner. James' head snapped, turning to Snape with a familiar glower reserved just for him. "He better not be alright considering he just contaminated our potion!" A look of fury graced his features, fuming as he examined their now 'impure' Veritaserum.
"Our potion will be fine, Snape," Lily told him with a firm look. Truthfully, she wanted Snape to be quiet because she was trying to focus her attention on Sirius, whose eyes looked glazed over all of a sudden. Lucy quickly noticed this.
"It looks like he's just been told breasts don't exist and it was purely a myth concocted by the imaginatively perverted."
James chuckled at Lucy's remark, and they both exchanged mischievous smiles, which Lily witnessed and hated from the roots of her red hair to her little-piggies-that-went-to-the-market-toes.
Sirius' eyes seemed to glaze over even more, his expression looking outmost deadpan, as though he were under a trance.
And then, it all came out.
"No, I'm not alright," Sirius answered James' question finally, but in a flurry of words. "At this precise moment, I am explicitly annoyed that James and Peter betted on my normally unwavering self." He turned to Slughorn, looking unperturbed, "Professor, you are a fat midget, and that is entirely the truth."
Gasps were made by the entire class; how could Sirius say such a thing? Slughorn started, rather furiously, "Hang on, m'boy-"
"Remus," Sirius cut off the professor, looking at his bemused werewolf friend, "you have the nicest eyes."
Remus swallowed, "Er…what?"
"Snape," Sirius appeared to be in a roll, now addressing particular members of the class, "I hate you and I want to die. Now."
"Feeling's mutual, Black," Snape bit back.
"My trousers are too tight and they're constricting the area surrounding my crotch," Sirius continued, which the class commented with moderately unsettled outcries. "I haven't changed my underwear in the past four days. Doras," he turned to one of the fellow seventh years in the class, "You have the biggest buttocks I have ever seen. I imagine if you were ever to slap them, your hand would be swallowed up."
Doras actually had to be pinned to the floor by her friends so not to physically carry out any Unforgivable curses.
Sirius continued, not stopping for breath, "Lucy," the blonde eyed him wearily at the sound of her name, "Your boobs are too small-"
"WHAT?"
"-Peter, you have a real smelly perspiration problem."
"Hey!" Peter screeched, offended. It wasn't until he lifted up an arm, discovered a rather soggy armpit with an equally distasteful whiff to match, when he cringed.
"Slughorn," the professor made a rather annoyed glare that he'd been yet again on Sirius' target for honesty, "Merlin, if truth be told, everyone finds it uncomfortable when you ask about famous blood. Stop it. And shave your moustache. It's ridiculous-"
"Professor," Remus talked over Sirius as he continued to spill out the truth to the class, who either gasped in shock or repulsion, or giggled in delight at such revelations, "what exactly is going on?"
"The affects of the potion," Slughorn answered, looking a little irritated that his appearance had been verbally bashed in the past five minutes, "that's what's going on, m'boy." He tried to seek a way of cutting in to address Sirius, but found it difficult when Sirius wasn't even stopping for inhalation. "Black, how-"
"I've always wanted a tattoo on one of my butt cheeks - the right one. And I've always thought about growing a beard, the kind of one where you get food lost in it-"
"Black!" Sirius finally questioned at the professor's harsh voice. "How much of the Veritaserum did you consume?"
"Five hundred milliletres," he answered without hesitation.
Slughorn turned abruptly pale. "Oh my," he said quietly.
"Oh my?" James echoed. "Why 'oh my'?" he asked, and couldn't help but chuckle inwardly at such rhyming.
"Potter, a mere drop of Veritaserum is enough to spill the truth tremendously," Slughorn explained, "Black here's consumed enough to reveal the truth without even being asked a question-"
Sirius grinned, "I smell my farts and I like them-"
"-There is an antidote, but it's rather difficult to make, not to mention this isn't highly a life or death situation to go to such trouble," Slughorn finished.
"How long will the potion last, Professor?" Remus asked, looking rather worried.
"A few hours perhaps, or maybe more? I cannot say-"
"Lionel Lovegood is absolutely NUTS. I killed Frank Longbottom's pet frog by running it over with a luggage trolley-"
"HOW COULD YOU-?" Frank cried in horror.
"-I can't eat bananas because they resemble penises. I can't eat melons because they resemble bosoms. Remus is a w-"
James practically leaped into the air and knocked Sirius to the ground, clamping the palm of his hand over Sirius' mouth. Sirius continued to talk, but it only came out as muffled jargon. Peter glanced at Remus, who was visibly whitening in the face.
"Thanks for stopping our entertainment, James!" a classmate called from the back of the class in disappointment.
"I know," another agreed, "I wanted to hear Sirius reveal that Remus is a woman!"
At this comment, the class burst into laughter, while Professor Slughorn tried to shush them. James breathed a sigh of relief; no-one had expected what the real secret Sirius nearly exposed: Remus' fatal condition.
Snape, however, was different. He'd been smirking at Sirius' embarrassing divulged truths, until the particular start of one that James had interrupted. That had been awfully suspicious. He kept silent, holding a suspicious gaze. What exactly was Lupin hiding?
Regrettably -to the Marauders- Lily appeared the same as Severus. James' actions had confused her immensely. The way he had so desperately silenced Sirius made her wonder what terrible secret Remus could be hiding. She tried to catch his eye, but Remus wasn't looking at anyone, instead looking sickeningly ill (partly due to the nearly earth-shattering exposure, and also because it was Full Moon that night).
"You better keep an eye on him, m'boy," Slughorn warned James. At this advice, James glanced worriedly at Sirius. James' hand was still clamped over his mouth, yet Sirius persisted to reveal the honest truth about the 'rather overrated pie' and his 'ambition to become King of England.' "He might end up spilling a secret that you don't want others to know."
Immediately, each Marauder blanched in turn. They had many secrets that needed to be hidden…
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It was a bizarre idea, but the boys had been desperate. Sirius was now plagued with speaking honestly -something odd for Sirius Black, usually a being of dishonesty- and he was now at risk at spilling truths out here, there, and everywhere. The Marauders had too much to loose if the school found out about their skeletons in the cupboard.
It was like verbal diarrhea, but of the truthful kind. Sirius could simply not stop talking (more than often). He didn't even need to be asked a question without revealing his true insight on a person.
Thus, for the remainder of the day, Sirius had been gagged with a sock to prevent him for blabbering. Remus had charmed the sock the flavour of chocolate, so the poor bloke wouldn't have to suffer what Remus guessed was a disgusting socky-taste. So far, Sirius hadn't choked on the sock…yet.
"I don't know how much I can take of this," Remus complained wearily, on their way to Herbology.
"It won't last much longer, Moony, trust me," James reassured him. He guessed how on edge Remus was now Sirius had required such blabbermouth qualities. "All we have to is keep an eye on him-"
"Sirius, my little flower petal!"
The Marauders jumped as they discovered Lily suddenly by their side, a mischievous smile on her face. They were particularly shocked at her sudden appearance, and the fact that Sirius had been called a flower petal, by Lily Evans.
"I've been looking everywhere for you, Sirius, dear!" Yet again, the Marauders gawked at her use of language. 'Dear'? Since when was Sirius considered precious? In fact, since when had Lily even addressed Sirius by his first name? "I've been meaning to have a chat with you." Looking like a rather wild animal, she latched on to Sirius' arm and he squeaked in terror.
"Oh no you don't!" James quickly saw through her plan and grabbed onto Sirius' other arm, tugging him his way. "You'll get nothing out of him! Quick, Wormtail!" he ordered Peter, who tore Sirius' arm out of Lily's grip and aided James in sprinting down the corridor, dragging the chocked-by-a-sock-Sirius with them.
Damn it, Lily cursed, watching them escape. She had been foiled yet again!
She didn't care how long it would take; she'd get Sirius alone and find out their secrets if it were the last thing she ever did.
-------
All day, Peter had been assigned to accompany Sirius on the toilet breaks. Sirius had protested immeasurably how he didn't need to be escorted "to the bog like some girl," but the Marauders were having none of it. Lily had tried at least seven attempted kidnappings on Sirius but they'd somehow narrowly managed to escape.
Much to Sirius and Peter's displeasure, they bumped into Severus Snape when turning a corridor. It looked like nothing was going to be said as the boys passed one another (the sock in Sirius' mouth being the well known factor), until Sirius twitched. Not being able to pass Snape without at least voicing some vicious remark, he pulled the sock out of his mouth and shouted at Snapes's retreating back, "If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!"
Sirius smirked, while Peter quickly shoved the sock back into his mouth as Snape retraced his steps back over to them.
"Please," he said wryly, "stop your wit, Black, or I may just pass out."
"When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening-"
Again, Peter shoved the sock back into Sirius' mouth.
A snort of mockery escaped Snape's nostrils as he eyed the sock. "I think dirtier things have been in your mouth, Black." Sirius seethed with anger, and watched Snape begin to circle them both with careful steps. "I know there's something about Lupin. I know there is, Black. Others might be incredibly ignorant, but you nearly revealed something in the classroom about him." He leaned towards Sirius, with narrowed eyes. "I'll find out what it is eventually." On that note, he made a small sneer, before making his way down the corridor.
Sirius' fists clenched. He couldn't let him have the last word.
"Why don't you touch the knot on the Whomping Willow and find out, Snape?"
The words leaked out of Sirius' mouth so quickly. It'd seemed a good decision two seconds ago in his brain. Now, out in the open, he felt a pang of regret.
With a somewhat pleased look, Snape replied smugly, "I think I might just do that, Black."
The second Snape disappeared round a corner, Peter eyed Sirius with an apprehensive gaze.
"Not a word about this to Prongs, Wormtail. It's our secret."
With a slightly culpable expression, Sirius stuffed the sock back in his mouth, and they continued the walk to the bathroom in silence.
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Peter gazed outside the common room window.
He'd always been good at keep secrets, so when Sirius tells him not to enlighten James about the incident with Snape, he doesn't, because it's a secret, and he doesn't blab because that would be breaking the rules; remain loyal as a Marauder through thick and thin.
So, instead, he sat in the common room, staring -not really staring at anything particular, just staring-as he waited for James and Sirius to get back from the kitchens for a quick feast before their Full Moon adventures.
The boys always relied on Peter to keep a secret. Others in the castle might call him a doormat, but to the Marauders he was a loyal ally. He was the one who kept silent - the one James went to first after not only discovering he liked girls, but liked the most difficult one: Lily Evans.
They tell him the secrets and he listens. You could even call him a Secret Keeper…
Until he spots Severus Snape, through the common room window, crossing Hogwarts grounds to the Whomping Willow.
Looking intently, Peter rose in his seat.
Secret Keeper he was no longer.
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"Have you seen Black anywhere?"
Lily's friend, Grace, eyed her wearily in the common room. "Why do you want to know, Lily?"
"Because I need him to blab Potter's secrets!"
At this revelation, Grace made a rather exhausted yawn. "Why do you even care about Potter's secrets? I thought you didn't like him."
"I don't!"
"Then why are you bothering with all of this?"
Lily's voice became quieter; a little embarrassed, even. "I need to find out whether he likes Lucy or not."
Grace arched an eyebrow. "And why do you want to know that?"
"Because….because they're on the same Quidditch team! Can you imagine the mess that would occur if they dated and broke up, splitting up the team? Am I the only one who cares about Quidditch?"
"You don't even like Quidditch, Lily."
Naturally, Lily ignored her. "Have you seen him?" she asked again.
Grace heaved a sigh. "He went to the kitchens with James."
It was barely seconds before Lily had rushed through the portrait hole. A few minutes later after some rather manic running, she tickled the portrait of the fruit and entered the kitchens. James and Sirius froze in alarm at her appearance, lounging in the kitchens, nibbling on fairy cakes. Instantaneously, James shoved the sock into Sirius' mouth, half way through eating icing.
"What do you want?" James asked her, rising in his seat and already running a hand through his messy hair as though it was as common as the greeting of waving.
"I want to talk with my little flower petal, Sirius-" Lily started.
"Bollocks," James dismissed.
At once, Lily's eyes filled with rage. "He'll tell me whether you like it or not!" She crossed the kitchens and lunged out to grab Sirius' sock from his mouth, but James tackled her to the ground. Lily made an outcry as the wind was knocked out of her, smacking backwards on the tiled floor. A crowd of house elves circled them.
"Get off me, Potter!" Lily kicked out her legs, currently pinned to the ground. She didn't like the tingly feelings she was getting about such close contact, and the pleasant thought of him wanting to kiss her cheek again -or more accurately, her lips.
"Why not take your attention off Sirius and on me?" James winked.
At once, Lily kneed him in the groin and he fell sideways, crying out in agony.
"Run, Padfoot!" he managed to squeak.
Sirius tried to escape through the portrait hole, but Lily had sprung from the floor and grabbed him by the neck, forcing him into a headlock. Grinning triumphantly, she seized the sock from Sirius' mouth and he immediately started to talk.
"James was only extra friendly with Lucy to make you jealous-!"
Lily's eyes lit up with delight.
"Shut up, Padfoot!" James warned him.
"-In Hogsmeade, Remus hid in a trash bin and told James what to say and how to act!"
Lily's smile fell as she looked at James, who was heating in the face.
"Padfoot, put the sock back in your mouth and-"
"We're animagi and Remus is a werewolf!"
The second the words spurted out of Sirius' mouth, he gasped and closed his mouth with the palm of his hand.
Gawking, Lily sputtered, "You're…He's….He's a what?"
"James!" a cry came from the portrait hole and the three turned to see Peter, equally as alarmed. "Snape's gone to the Shrieking Shack!"
Sirius shut his eyes in regret, while James' eyes widened as he muttered a horrified, "Oh no."
He glimpsed at the gaping Lily; shot her an apologetic look, and darted out of the kitchens, leaving Lily to subside on to the bench of one of the empty tables at such bombshell, while surrounded house elves offered her pudding.
A/N: And my chapter's done! Phew. If you enjoyed, please review! Us ducklings would deeply appreciate it.
Also, thanks to the beta Michelle. She's a lovely papoose.
Next chapter is by the wonderful Weird Not Boring, so stay tuned everyone!