A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews! They make me so happy! But now I feel bad though because this chapter has been poorly edited by me, and I feel as if I've gone off style somehow, I don't know. I hope it's not obvious.
To recap: When Rikku realizes she's no longer has an item of value to offer Gippal in place of her residence, she offers to sleep with him instead. Gippal accepts but stops the act when he sees her crying, also realizing that he's still hung over a past lover, and feels slightly guilty for taking advantage of Rikku.
Djose Days
Ch. 6: Caramel Copy
Rikku
It's barely sunrise when my senses wake me, when I feel the warmth of hard flesh behind me and hugging around my body. Cool, smooth ground beneath me, and the faint scent of moist earth as a brisk wind slaps my face.
I recognize his hands immediately. Remember last night clearly. Try to slip out of his hold because it makes me want to vomit, makes my stomach flip, and I want to hurl at the thought of how stupid I can be sometimes.
I crawl away, stopping momentarily to stare at his slump form. His head knocked to the side and drooping low, his back bent sluggishly and legs sprawled out as if he'd just been KO'd. I frown when I think about why he had decided to return back downstairs and stay with me throughout the night. Why he had let me cry myself to sleep and then give me the pleasure of waking up in his arms, as if he'd always been there to comfort me.
A rush of air meets my chest, and I look down and notice the shirt's still unbuttoned. The same as I had left it. And open wide for anyone to sneak up behind me in my sleep and... But Gippal's not like that.
I don't want to think that he's like that.
Buttoning takes too long, so I grab the ends and tie a knot above my belly. Getting to my feet and finding the washroom a few minutes later. I splash some water on my face. Wash away the crusty feel of dried tears and faint trails of mascara (which Crimson lied about it being waterproof). The tired look in my eyes is characterized by the dark, heavy bags that are slung beneath it like a dark, half moon. I smooth down my hair with the excess water on my hands.
There's no available toothbrush for me because Gippal's not Crimson, and I'm not working in an inn. So I simply rinse my mouth out with water until the morning breath is gone, and then rummage through hung pants for a pack of gum to chew out the smell in minty freshness.
Pants remind me that I'm lacking a lower garment, and I tread back downstairs and grab my skirt off the ground. I slip it on quickly before grabbing my top and heading down the hall, wincing a bit and clutching my side at the painful reminder of my fall on the stairs yesterday night.
There are doors on every side, each one of them closed. And I wonder which room he will give to me to stay in. Then, I remember that I haven't technically earned my right to live here. That I've only gone halfway through our agreement. That he can technically call me back anytime to 'finish the job', and I can either leave to the streets again or do it. No room for negotiation. He made that fact clear last night.
My eyes begin to sting and I think I'm going to cry again but I ball my fists and don't let it out. I open a random door on the left, one with cute little flower stickers on the doorknob because it looks friendly. Inside, there's a bare, neatly made bed and a dresser. Simple, caramel coloured wallpaper on all sides with shiny hardwood floor. There's a tiny stuffed chocobo in the corner of the bed, and I'm instantly in love.
- - - - -
Gippal
She's left again, is the first thought that comes to mind. Her clothes are gone from the floor, and she's clearly not in my arms like I remember. I sigh, pressing my palm to my forehead and run it through the ends of my hair, moist like morning dew on grass. Standing up, I glance for a few seconds outside before heading towards my personal bathroom upstairs.
I quickly brush my teeth, not looking in the mirror – not really interested with my guilty face. Afterward, I shower underneath the thin trickle of icy water, letting it absorb every last remnant of her off of me, and letting it disappear down the drain – just like she always does.
- - - - -
Rikku
I don't feel right lying in a bed I haven't exactly claimed ownership of, so I leave the room and give myself a short tour of the temple. My footsteps feel like an Iron Giant's in the empty hallway, thundering throughout, and I think I might be able to emulate the sounds of a rainstorm if I can make a crackling lightning noise. (I don't try to though.)
My gil shakes in my pocket, jingling reminders of money, and owing, and debt. I don't think that he'll appreciate the trade of 1200 gil in place of my agreement with him last night. He won't refuse it, but he won't like it very much, I know that.
I eventually wander into the kitchen where the garbage is filled with bowls upon bowls of empty instant noodles and juice boxes, and the counter is stacked with styrofoam takeout containers and wooden chopsticks. I take a peak in the refrigerator and find one lone egg and a few bottles of water. There's a ketchup bottle on the shelf, and a couple of half-drunken bottles of beer in the back. I close it, leaning against the counter and think. I don't cook very well but watching the chefs at Crimson's inn has taught me how to at least make a satisfying broth.
I climb out a window and land on hard stone outside the temple, bruising what's already been bruised. I sneak past the entrance just in case he coincidently wakes up and sees me. I'm not exactly ready to face him yet.
- - - - -
Gippal
Nooj's in a state of panic when I find him, whirling around and throwing my collection of nails and bolts all over the ground from their proper boxes. I end up stubbing my fingers and knees a few times cleaning up the scattered pieces.
There's not much for me to do around the place. A ton of crap's in the back waiting to be sold, but no one wants to buy them. And can't do any repairs until my crew or Nhadala brings back something worthy repairing. And can't do many upgrades without new equipment to replace our decaying ones. And can't get new equipment without money.
But new inventions just turn out to be another Nooj anyway.
I end up walking toward my office and grab a neatly rolled scroll from the top of the pile of dusty, overdue payments in the corner. I roll it across my desk, using a stapler and a half-filled juice box to hold the corners down. I've been working on the design for nearly two months. A new transportation airship for the Faction – much better than our current one, which is bandaged with duct tape at all sides and its frame threatens to fall apart from all its rattling.
This new one will be able to transport almost three times as much cargo as the old one while using a third less fuel. And there'll be a bar in the cabin just like Brother's fancy-schmancy Cel… Cellulose, except the Hypello will be replaced with a drop dead gorgeous female – who'll also be able to do engine repairs; it's more cost-efficient that way.
I smile lightly to myself. It'd be a great airship, if I could build it.
- - - - -
Rikku
I end up hitching a ride with the mailman on my way back from town. He said he was on his way to the temple as well and wouldn't mind dropping me off.
I clutch the groceries close to my chest, their weight a greater burden than the 1200 gil I had in my pocket, now reduced to a mere 300 gil. It feels a little weird with him behind me though, his arms surrounding me on both sides and his body leaning against mine a little too close for comfort. I decide that he's not as noble a man as I had thought, and manage to swipe 120 gil just before stepping off the tiny hover.
He gives me a couple of envelopes, saying they're for Gippal. After an attempt to ask me out to dinner and me answering that I unfortunately had other plans, he leaves with a bitter look, continuing along his route as if his ego had not been damaged the slightest bit.
I tip toe quietly up the steps and inside the temple, relived to find Gippal no where in sight. I make my way to the kitchen where I toss the envelopes on the counter and begin boiling a pot of water. I hum quietly as I read over the nutrition facts on the box of instant chicken flavoured soup base before washing the vegetables.
- - - - -
Gippal
It's nearly noon when my stomach starts growling, and then there's a sickening feeling that quickly accompanies it at the thought of another week of cup-of-noodles. I sigh, slapping my palm against my forehead, feeling better somehow. More alert. I think about going to Ma and Pa's for the rest of the day. Ma makes good pie. But that'll mean a lengthy trip to Kilika. I'm not in the mood for Kilikans.
A few minutes later and I notice myself hallucinating the smell of fresh chicken stew. A few more minutes after that and I decide that the smell is getting stronger and stronger. Some delicious herbs, and spices. And hot, toasted bread rich with a thick layer of butter.
And then the fire alarm goes off.
- - - - -
Rikku
I hastily grab the pot off the stove, setting it in the sink and rigorously fanning the area of smoke. I've already opened the windows but it isn't doing much, and with each agonizing second I can just feel his presence getting closer and closer. I can just hear his voice shouting at me. I can just see him throw me out of the temple right here and now, chasing me out with the fire extinguisher and never wanting me anywhere near his kitchen.
I groan when a new burnt smell arises, opening the oven and finding the previously golden brown baguettes covered in inky black, as if someone had taken a piece of charcoal and smeared it all over the bread. I turn off all appliances and pull out the tray from the oven, yelping when it burns my fingers through the wet cloth, flying backwards and slamming against the counter with a crack as the tray lands perfectly on the floor.
And I can just see Pops staring at me, a glare in his eyes that says, "I'm right!" That Rikku, Oui'na lusbmadamo ennacbuhcepma! Frah yna oui kuehk du knuf ib? (You're completely irresponsible! When are you going to grow up?) And really, what will I say to him then?
Gippal enters coughing, fanning the lightly greyed air with his arm as his hand cups around his face. He scans the room and his gaze falls on me. His face softening and then hardening just as fast as the burnt stew. He then takes me by the shoulder and hastily leads me out of the kitchen.
- - - - -
Gippal
I had thought she'd left already. Thought she'd gone and scampered off to Yuna or her father for help like she always does. Instead, she was still here. Making lunch. For us.
I want to yell at her, but then I can't. Because she's still childish. She's still immature and making mistakes. On this strange little self-discovery, independence-seeking journey of hers away from her Pops, and she just got desperate last night, that's all. Never really the think before do type.
But I can't help but want her out of here. Would really prefer it if she really had left like I thought. It would've been easier that way. I wouldn't have to worry about her finding out about the Faction's situation. I wouldn't have to clean up after her legendary cooking catastrophes. I wouldn't feel as if she constantly owes me something for staying here, for not following through with our agreement.
I wouldn't feel like I constantly have to cheat her.
"I'm sorry," she says, hugging herself slightly after a moment, not daring to look up because she knows I'm angered.
I don't reply, don't accept her apology nor reject it. There's no time for little things like that when my eighty-eight thousand gil temple nearly burned down. Instead, I simply walk past her, and back inside the kitchen to clear up the smoke.
- - - - -
Rikku
I end up eating breakfast alone. Gippal left the second the smoke cleared up, not speaking to me still as he made his way down the hall with blackened hands and charcoaled kissed cheeks – like the firemen of Luca I'd particularly eyed during my stay there. I suppose that may have been his way of telling me he's very displeased and 'hah, my barbecued ass you're staying, kid.'
I gulp down the last spoonful of my bowl, feeling saddened because it actually turned out pretty good considering it's the first thing I've actually ever made on my own from scratch (burnt or unburnt). And no body's here to celebrate it with me.
I clear up my plate and bowl, washing them in the sink and leaving them to dry on the rack. They look a lot cleaner than I do, and I bite my bottom lip as I think about having to chase down the mailman and telling him I would actually like to spend time with him… and maybe borrow a bed for the night while I'm at it.
I decide that, before I leave, the least I can do is offer some sort of compensation for my troubles – the last bit of my stew and scraped off bread, whether or not I'll get to anticipate his reaction with my own eyes. As a bonus, I also clean up the entire kitchen, including some messes that I didn't even make, and restacking the envelopes neatly on the counter for him to see.
I put the vegetable stew bowl (which has cooled to great effect by now) and slice of bread (which has hardened like rock candy by now and as chewy as gum) on a tray with a cup of hot tea. I am very cautious as I make my way down the hall with it, glancing at the gap at the bottom of each door to see if there's a light so I'll know which room he's in.
I finally spot one and it makes sense because the words OFFICE/UVVELA are engraved into the wood. I attempt to knock but can't because the tray is too heavy. I am forced to call out his name. My voice croaks as I do so, and I am about to place the tray on the ground and simply leave just like they do at the inn, when he suddenly opens the door.
- - - - -
Gippal
She jumps slightly when she sees me, and I frown, her face a terrible sight to look at. Her hair and clothes and my shirt making her look like she'd just climbed out of the ruins of Zanarkand. I then notice the food in her hands and her expectant look. I take it from her to be polite, mumbling a quiet thanks.
She still doesn't go away once I've placed it on my desk and turn back to look at her again. She stares at the ground, rubbing her arms lightly and a frown that I immediately decide I don't like seeing on her face. "What?"
She glances up, her mouth twitchy now, her arms folded over her chest. "I'm sorry."
I pause before shaking my head and telling her it's no big deal.
She frowns again, having sensed my hesitance and not believing my words. But she's forced to accept it anyway because it's in her best (financial) interest. After a few seconds of silence, she takes off my shirt, revealing her skimpy outfit from the night before, and holds it out to me. "Thanks… for the stay," she says steadily. "I'll be going now."
"Wait." And she turns around instantly, but I've got nothing to say. The word came out of nowhere and I hadn't even thought about it. It just felt right. I sigh, scratching the back of my neck as she watches me with eager eyes, and I know what she wants me to say. Know that she wants me to stop her. Tell her she can stay. That she's proved to me that she's willing to do almost anything to live here.
But I've got a whole Faction to manage, and no time for girls who can't make up their minds.
"Be safe."
Her face falls, clearly. But she picks it up quickly and nods slightly at me, pulling her composure together and heading out the door. Her footsteps echo throughout the empty hallways, much unlike the noise and ruckus that had filled the temple just a half-hour before. It is then that I begin to wonder if I'd made a mistake by letting her go. Because she'd admittedly be a very valuable asset to the Faction – we need all the free labour we can get. And she's not just any ordinary mechanic. She's Cid's kid after all.
I follow silently behind her, watching her sunlit hair sway behind her back as she leaves through the doors, her head crouched down as if a hood sat on her head and was shading her from the rain. Her back hunched over as if she were carrying a large backpack. And the sight is all a little too nostalgic for me to appreciate.
But then she turns back. And she catches my stare. She stops moving.
It's an awkward moment as we look at each other, kind of like one of those old, black and white, romance movie spheres that they screen on Wednesday nights in Luca. Except, she's no innocent, proper, classy lady in a flowing white dress with an undying passion for me. And I'm no rich, kind, cleanly dressed love-sick gentleman ready to take her into my arms and kiss her just enough for the film to still be rated PG.
No. She's a bum in a whore's outfit standing alone in the middle of the pavement looking back into a place that she could've called her new home. A place I could've let her stay in, and she's blaming herself for nearly burning down my kitchen and for… last night's episode. Blaming me for not being more understanding, when really, she's the one that doesn't understand that I just can't handle providing for another worker.
It's a moment too long and her face has lost all hope. Drained of all energy and optimism, looking as if I've been dangling the prize over her head all this time and she's finally given up on trying for it. It makes me feel guilty, unsure and jumpy. Not wanting to give up my privacy and endure her annoying habits every frick'n day if I decide to let her stay. But I also don't want to spend every night sitting by the temple entrance, waiting.
I eventually walk toward her, a bit more confident now as my hands reach into my pocket for all I have – a mere 200 gil. I take her hand and put the money in it, closing her fingers over it as she watches me in bemusement. I hesitate again before speaking. "For… your wardrobe. I'll… I'll give you more later, after I've found you a proper room."
I don't look at her face for a reaction because I'm worried I'll regret my decision. But a few seconds later, she gives me a gentle kiss on the mouth and I'm forced to glance up, meeting her excited eyes as she whispers a sincere thanks.
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