Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Additionally, there is canon typical references to medical stuff and blatantly crude humor. Feel free to back out if need be.

Author's Note: Y'all will have no idea just how much I debated switching the order of these last two chapters. In the end, I needed put them in the order that I did. It's also why I'm gonna give y'all a bit of a head's up that the next few chapters are going to be rather intense, as they're the "from bad to worse" beats of a standard episode. Also a reminder that bitch is a term of endearment between these two.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 16); MC4A (Year 5)
Individual Challenges: Bi Rainbow; Rainbow Rainbow; Fire Extinguisher; Red Lights; Red Bull (x2); Medic MC [x4]; Neurodivergent [x2]; Rian-Russo Inversion [x3]; Ethnic & Present [x2]; Disabled; Zukes of Hazard; Bi Bi Bi; Lovely Triangle; Ship Sails [x2]; Zed Era; Old Shoes (Y); New Fandom Smell; In a Flash; The Real MC (Y); Two Cakes (Y); Eating Cake (Y); Green Ribbon
House: Slytherin
Assignment No.: Term 16 – Assignment 08
Subject (Task No.): n/a
Other Hogwarts Challenges: 365 [304](Illustrate); 1000 Prompts Challenge [342](Doll); Hogwarts Gardens [Equipment 26](Exasperation)
Other MC4A Challenges: SpB [5E](Bees/Hives); TrB [5C](The Dragon); Ship (n/a)[SpMic1 (Fusion/Crossover); SpMic2 (Blue; Green; Purple; Yellow); Bingo (1E - If the Shoe Fits)]; Chim [Reta] ("The Anonymous Ones" - Dear Evan Hanson; Hospital/Medical Ward);Hunt [Sp WD (Mobility Impaired); Sp Items (Quilt; Toy; Walking Stick/Cane; Yo-Yo)];
Representation(s): Amber Volakis/James Wilson; James Wilson/Greg House QPR; Chimera Song Prompt
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Found Family; Nontraditional; Zucchini Bread; Bee Haven; Fizzy Lemonade; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; White Dress); Chorus (Pocky Pockets; Wabi Sabi)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: Once (Santa Fe); T3 (Terse; Thimble); SN (Rail; Intercept)
Word Count: 499 words

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House & Homes
Toys
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"What the hell?" Amber snapped as she backed up her words with reaching for something under House's desk. Unusually helpfully, House used his cane to push himself and his chair backwards out of the way. James knew why as soon as he spotted the life size blowup doll that Amber was pulling up for the others to see. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Chase pressing his lips together to keep from laughing. As if the yellow patch that was supposed to be the doll's hair didn't make it obvious enough, the word c. bitch had been written on its forehead. "Really?!"

"A man has certain needs," House explained with an exaggerated amount of sincerity. Amber strangled the doll as she shook it at House. She kicked the fallen yo-yo towards the wheeled shelf. On the screen, the angler ate another fish. House twirled his cane like a baton. "Don't kink-shame me."

"No one is—"

James bit off the rest of his words as Amber threw the sex doll at them. Then he found himself biting back a groan because Amber was doing that graceful drop to her knees, the one she had trained him to react to like one of Pavlov's dogs. He swallowed hard as she disappeared behind the wall of boxes surrounding House's desk. Chase choked at the sight, too, making James puff up a bit with secondhand pride.

Amber reemerged with a fuzzy looking quilt and a stuffed bee. The blanket had illustrated flowers in a variety of blues and purples against its green background. It looked extremely soft, much softer than House would ever risk being seen with at the hospital. James knew that House had a hidden stash of stuff similar to it in his apartment. None of those blankets had such childish patterns, however.

The stuffed bee was even more suspicious.

House had a lot of toys. He lived for his toys as much as he loved his games and puzzles. He was like a really big kid. But the key part of that was big kid. He wasn't the type to cuddle except on his worst days. House would need to be dying or actively wishing he was to even grab one of his many pillows.

James felt his gut go cold. He knew that there was only one reason for House to have a stuffed toy. House put on a good show of hating the entire world, but he had a few major weaknesses. Only one of those weaknesses would require House to have a stuffie.

"House," James said cautiously. In response, House twirled his cane again. James sank down in the armchair tucked closest to the office door. He dropped the bag of food next to his feet. The implications of all the clues was horrifying. "That bad?"

"It was orange," House said, mostly to the curved handle of his cane. "Barely any red at all."

James didn't know what to say to that.

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To Be Continued
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