Warnings: Spoilers for all of the manga.
Notes: I decided that it wasn't fair to give Yukiya his own chapter, since there were lesser characters with more presence over the course of the series I would have had to give time to if I gave it to Hatozaki's brother. Instead, and in that spirit, please enjoy this little "extra" I threw together (it became much longer than originally planned; these ukes just wouldn't shut up!). I thought of actually including that Nameless Women meeting, but thought I pretty much already covered the important points in this one. I hope you've all enjoyed this series! I will continue to respond directly to any reviews privately, so don't be shy to tell me what you thought of it! eternalsailorsolarwind: You'll notice my own pen name in reference to yours' difficulty. Glad you liked Kanji's piece and I'm sad to see it end, too, but this marks the completion of my first multi-part fan fiction endeavor. I'm really working on those other Yellow pieces (as well as a few other things), but you may find it takes me a lot longer to write chapters now (single characters in one-shot style is super-easy in comparison!). Hope you can wait patiently! I want you to know that having even one person waiting for them gives me a degree of motivation I didn't think I was capable of!
Disclaimer: Yellow is owned by Makoto Tateno; I'm just borrowing it so I can make myself feel better about the plotholes...

The Uke Club

Outside the door was a small sign handwritten, "Uke Club Meeting, 9:00." The small meeting room had exactly six chairs in it. To the organizer of this gathering, this number held particular significance. It signified the number of invitees as well as the number of "cases" the snatchers Goh and Taki had worked that brought these six individuals to each others' attention and linked them to one another.

Kei sat at the head of the group. At his feet was that annoying little yippy dog. It was currently snoozing in some disgustingly frilly outfit. In Kei's hand was a file folder; not unlike those used in the police force for keeping information on suspected criminals. In fact, it almost certainly was one of those very folders, since every time Kei glanced in Yukiya's direction, the seventeen year old boy looked away uncomfortably, as if he was ashamed of taking something from his brother without permission and afraid he would be found out. However, why Hatozaki would be keeping files on the likes of these six, and keeping them together in one folder at home, was an interesting subject in and of itself, but not one for this meeting.

Rei was the first to speak. "Uh, so why are we all here? I was sort of hoping to lay low for a while..."

"I think it's because we all slept with Goh," Kazuki offered.

"Or tried to," Rei fired back as he glanced over at Kanji.

"I never tried to sleep with G-" Michiru tried to add, but was cut off by the boisterous youth.

"Dude, I'm not an uke! I would totally have been on top! I don't even know what I'm doing here!"

"Pipe down, Kanji. First of all, we all know who would have ended up on top of that," Kei paused for affirmation from the group, who nodded their agreement, "and secondly, you're here because you are an important part of this support network. We're all here because Goh and Taki's partnership affected each of our lives greatly."

"Oh, so it's not because we're all in love with Goh and jealous of Taki?" Rei asked, looking at Kei knowingly.

Kei rubbed his temples. "...No. Anyway, we should get started with this thing. Rei, since you seem to be rather forward, why don't you begin?"

"Tsk. What do you mean by 'forward?' Are you suggesting I'm loose?"

"Well, according to this file, you are a, 'horrible slut whose family had Yakuza connections long before you became the lover of the Kumagai-gumi's boss.' Plus, everyone knows Goh has a weakness for sluts, and you, honey, so obviously fit the bill."

"Well, I can't deny my charm," Rei admitted as he stood to address the group. "Hi, I'm Rei. I slept with Goh for a while, but he was only doing me so he could gather intel on his case to nail my Papa; for drugs that is. I don't think Papa was his type."

"Yes, thank you, Rei." Kei flipped to another page. "Michiru-"

"Then what the hell is that sign all about on the door?"

"Kanji, remember what we talked about before the meeting? Indoor voice. Indoor."

"Sorry," Kanji apologized, dejectedly.

"Brother Ryuichi really wrote that?" Yukiya spoke for the first time.

'Wrote what, Yukiya, dear?" Kei asked as motherly as he could muster.

"...S-slut...?" The word almost too embarrassing for the youth.

Kei mulled over the document pertaining to Rei for a moment. "Yup, 'horrible slut,' that's what it says here."

"I-I see. I-is there..?"

"A file on you, honey?"

Before the boy could affirm, Rei interrupted, "So, Yukiya, what are you afraid is written in there?"

"N-nothing."

Kei turned his attention back to the folder momentarily. At this opportunity, Rei lunged for and grabbed it out of Kei's hands and fled to the other side of the room to check things out for himself.

"Woah! You 'did' Goh, too, kiddo? Wow, I'm impressed. Wouldn't have imagined a cute little schoolboy like you would've had the guts."

"It was only because... Well, brother... And I was desperate to..." The room became uncomfortably quiet suddenly. Fortunately for everyone, Rei was obviously not the type to hold his attention on any one thing for too long.

"Woah, Kazuki. Says here you shot Goh! I only ever drugged and kidnapped Taki and tried to have him molested."

"For the record, I only slept with Goh for money, and I only shot him because he was trying to get me busted on gun charges."

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure most of us would have liked to take a shot at that one, or beat the other one at one point or another."

At this, Kei was the one who looked a bit nervous. "...For a man claiming to be on the run as well right now, you're being rather-"

"I'm saying that my dealings with the snatchers were strictly coincidental. I'm just saving up to pursue my real dreams."

"Listen, all I'm saying is pretty boy over here can talk about being an 'aspiring actor,' but it all amounts to nothing, since all he really is is some high class whore."

"Why, you little bitch!" Kazuki started to stand.

The little yippy dog raised its head at this. "Not you, sweetheart," Kei addressed it as he tried to stabilize the situation. "Please, Kazuki, calm down," to which Kazuki grudgingly sat back down and the dog returned to its nap, which apparently was far more interesting than this room full of ukes.

Unfortunately, Rei kept tempting fate. "Actor. Whore. See? Same difference."

When Kazuki didn't respond to this he added, "Hey, actor-whore, you sure the chairs in here are facing the right direction? You want to redecorate?"

Kei at this point was at Kazuki's seat, keeping the man from getting up and pummeling the youth.

"Um?" Michiru interjected.

"Yes, Michiru?" Kei was glad for the interruption.

"Uh, aren't I supposed to be in America or something? How did I even get here?"

"Magic. Don't ask questions like that, dear. It makes the author nervous."

"Sorry. It's just, doesn't it seem odd to anyone else that the six ukes in here represent the first six Acts in the Yellow series and that after volume 2 there aren't any more of us at all? As if we were allowed to say our piece and then, with the exception of Kei and to a lesser extent Kanji, stuffed quietly away never to be heard from again, except in some dumb Omake to some fan fiction series that really focused on all the "important" characters?"

"A-acts? V-volumes? What are you talking about?" Kei looked at his watch panicked. "Sorry guys, we have to cut the meeting short! The nameless women that Taki's banged are meeting here in only... 25 minutes... Damn it. B-but Miss Jun was given special permission to attend from prison to head it up, so she probably needs like, 20 minutes to freshen up..."

"Who the hell is Jun?" Rei interrupted.

"Kanji's mom that Taki was banging. You know, the token 'raging bitch-slut' from Act 4," Kazuki provided, though refused to look his way.

"As opposed to...?"

Michiru stepped in to explain. "Oh, you know, Tsunuga's wife, Kazue, the 'helpless mother who got murdered,' or his daughter, Mari, the token 'little girl,' or Mimi, the 'ditzy blond.' The only women who got to have names in this series were the single instances of female stereotypes."

"Mom is here?" Kanji wondered hopefully, completely forgetting Michiru's "six ukes" comment.

"Ah. So that chick that Goh walks in on in the bathroom in Act 4 doesn't have a name because there was already a ditzy blond and a skank?" Rei pondered aloud while flipping through the blue manga volume.

"Exactly."

"I see, but why do we all get to have names? I know me and Kei might as well be the same guy only a couple years apart in age. Our names are even practically the same..."

"Ah, that's simple. You see, it's a yaoi series; all the ukes get to have names, regardless of value," Michiru set the issue to rest.

"Ohh."

"I feel like I'm in a bizarre yaoi take-off of a Pirandello play," Kazuki sighed.

"Yeah! Six Uke's in Search of an Author (n)!" Michiru giggled.

"Damn it! I'm not an uke!"

"Oh, please, Kanji. With all that disgusting hero worship, just try to tell us you wouldn't be thrilled to be in the middle of a Goh/Taki sandwich," Rei cut him off this time.

Kanji tried to change the subject. "Wait, so according to all this 'uke' logic, why isn't Mizuki here?"

"If Mizuki wanted to be a part of this support network she shouldn't have got her 'thing' cut off. She can go fight with Jun over who was screwed over more by Taki in the other meeting," Kei responded curtly.

"Plus, she got to have the longest chapter of this damned thing (over us, even). She's had enough attention," Kazuki added.

"And don't forget she wants to kill Kei right now," Rei chimed in, giving Kei another one of those knowing looks, to which Kei looked away uncomfortably.

"I still don't know why I'm here. I had no romantic or sexual interest in either Goh or Taki. I know I'm basically an uke and everything, but..." Michiru complained.

"And don't forget you're totally still a virgin," Rei felt the need to supply.

"Gah! That sucks!"

Rei checked the folder to make sure his hunch was correct and nodded to himself as he offered, "Don't worry. Kanji is, too. You're not alone, sweetheart."

"I'm not a virgin! And I'm not an uke!"

"Geez, Kanji, give it a rest," Rei interrupted before Kanji could shout any more, offering the page with Hatozaki's handwritten, "...Is most definitely still a virgin."

Kanji deflated.

"It's okay, Kanji. If you want a hand getting rid of that cherry, and that pesky uke image, you give me a call, all right?" Kei responded with a wink, to which Kanji responded dumbfounded with jaw agape.

"Dear God, it's a miracle! Something that can actually shut Kanji up! Way to go, 'can't keep it zipped' Kei!"

"My nickname is written in there?"

"Yup."

Yukiya, who had been sitting quietly between Kazuki and Michiru until now, broke from his melancholic reverie to try to help. "I don't see why you have to pick on Kanji so much."

"Oh, don't you get in this 'brother lover.' Really, how creepy can you get?" Rei fired back.

Yukiya returned to his brooding with only a sigh.

Kei decided to end it before Rei got lynched. "Er. Well, we really do have to get going now, guys. Let's try again next week. Same time?" he offered.

They looked at each other apathetically and shrugged as they shuffled out of the room.

End.

(n) Yes, I couldn't resist the urge to make a Luigi Pirandello reference. If you are unfamiliar with his work I recommend Naked Masks, a collection of his plays, which indeed includes Six Characters in Search of an Author, the play this line is a take-off of. I can't help but throw my hands up in frustration like the Manager does at the end of that play and scream, "I've lost a whole day over these ukes, a whole day!"

(In order of appearance in the manga) Rei, Michiru, Yukiya, Kanji, Kazuki, Kei
8/30/06
1805 words
Total Series Wordcount (not including Omake): 10491