AN:I just had and epiphany, never in my story I have written a ...DISCLAIMER! so here it goes then
Well,the truth is, I do own it all!
ok fine I don't own it!
nothing!
I wish I owned Milo,but ..life is unfair!
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Jess felt like crap,and he looked like crap, astonished, suddenly overwhelmed with joy and anxiety
In one side was Rory, innocent princess Rory,well, not so innocent anymore boy that girl can kiss!
And there was Lisa too, hot and loyal Lisa, now that's a problem
God I'm such a drama queen, yes a queen, not even a king for god's sake!
Rory is gone,it's my fault,and I'm never gonna be happy, I'm condemned to unhappiness for the rest of my days
And it's all my fault!
"so are you hungry?"Lisa said worried
Jess shook his head
"because I could make you something"
Jess chuckled "you?cook?please no,I don't wanna die so young"Jess mumbled
"well, I may not be your Donna Reed,but I could learn something"
"sure,Lisa"
Lisa frowned
"well,I'm gonna do it"
Lisa stood up in a jump
"and what are you gonna cook?"Jess smirked
Lisa thought for a moment,well, not for a moment for a few moments actually and came out with an answer
"brownies"
"brownies?"Jess frowned
"they're cheap,they're delicious and they're easy"
"wow,cde"
Lisa frowned "what?"
"nothing"
"whatever, I have to go now,and you'll see Jess,I'm gonna cook the best brownies in the world,and then I will conquer the universe by the power of brownies!"Lisa said in a lunatic voice "mwahahahahaha!" she said and left
Jess frowned 'she's gone'he thought 'we've definitely lost her'
Lisa left the apartment,in her way out she bumped into Ernie
"oh hey sweets"
Lisa didn't answer and continued walking "conquer the universe,conquer the universe"she muttered
"weird" Ernie said and went inside the apartment
"hey man"
"hi"Jess muttered emotionless
"so what's up with Lisa?"
"oh just trying to conquer the universe by the power of brownies" Jess shrugged
"so the usual then"
Jess nodded
"look at what I have" Ernie grinned and showed Jess a bottle of alcohol
"not now man"
"oh come on Theo you know you want to"Ernie grinned
"don't call me Theo"
"but thats your name"Ernie frowned
Jess glared at him
"just give me the damn bottle already!" Jess exclaimed
Ernie handed him the bottle and Jess drank a sip of it
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Lisa entered the apartment without noticing the two drunks laughing and saying the dumbest things,she entered the kitchen and read the instructions printed on the box of brownies
Two hours had passed and Lisa still didn't fully understand how to set the oven
"you little piece of shit"she yelled the oven hitting it
Meanwhile...
"bye,bye,bye don't wanna be a fool for you ,just another player in your game for twooo"Ernie sang while dancing over the couch
"eveeeeeery niiight in my dreeaaams I seee youuu, I feeel youuuu"Jess sang moving his shirt through the air (yes,Jess shirtless! xD)
Ernie laughed "no man, lets sing THE one"
"oh you mean THE one"Jess giggled
"and 1, 2, 3"
"ooops I did it agaaain, I playeed with youur heart got loost in thee gameee"they sang out loud
Lisa frowned from the kitchen she could hear the whole spectacle,she finally set the oven and went over to check on the guys
"oh my fuck-!" Lisa yelled watching Ernie dancing and Jess shirtless,and I cannot begin to tell you how she enjoyed the latter scene
"Ernie, Jess, guys what?" Lisa saw Ernie with the bottle of alcohol "and you didn't invite me!"
"I cannot believe you guys,anyway,those are my brownies,they're done"she went to the kitchen
"oh I can hardly wait swe-hiccup-ets!"Ernie yelled
The boy scould smell smoke and more smoke,not to mention they saw it coming from the kitchen
"do you think she set the kitchen on fire?"Jess asked
"probably"
Inside the kitchen Lisa fought against the fire
"Jess,Jess!"she yelled and tried to extinguish the fire with her jacket
Jess and Ernie could hear her screams,but neither did anything until Ernie broke the silence
"hey,Theo, I think she's calling you"he told Jess, shortly after he found out why the silence, Jess was asleep
"Jess, Jess!"he yelled slapping him
"what?what? Rory you and Dean what? Jeez!"Jess exclaimed
"Lisa she's calling you"
"oh,right," Jess got up and headed to the kitchen "Lisa,Lisa because Rory is not here,Lisa is here"he mumbled to himself
"oh Jess,thank God, it's on fire"Lisa yelled
He went to the oven,turned it off and left
"oh,so thats how it's done! Thanks Jess!"
Lisa sighed and turned to her bownies
"oh guys!"
"here"she said giving Ernie a plate of brownies, he smelled it and wrinkled his nose
"er..thanks but no thanks" he said
"eat them!"she ordered and left
"git" he muttered and gave Jess the plate "eat them"
"no way, you eat them, what if I die of poison or something"
"hey ,lets just take one for each ok?"
"fine"Jess said and grabbed a brownie
"cheers"they said and took a bite
Jess scowled and took a sip of alcohol
"you know" he said" these are gross originally,but with alcohol they have a whole new taste"
Ernie nodded "sweet"
Two hours later
"and then she comes and says Jess I love you" Jess said in a shrill voice and took another sip
"well man,she really loves you"
"how do you know?"Jess frowned
"she told me"
"when?"
"last night, in the car"
Jess's eyes widened in horror
"oh yeah, I spent the night with you ex in my car, I forgot to tell you that"
"you spent the night inside your car with Rory!"Jess yelled furious
"relax,relax,we were just talking, ok innocent talk, well, maybe not so innocent with the things she told me, I didn't know about Kyle's party" Ernie grinned
Jess sighed
"she just comes and changes my life the way she wants to...I hate her" Jess said
"and you also love her"Ernie said and Jess groaned
"it's all their fault, women, they make us weak, they poison us,it's like we can't get away,have you ever felt that Ernie?"
Ernie shifted uncomfortably "once I did"
"tell me"
"I was in third grade" Ernie started,and Jess bursted out of laughing
Ernie glared at him
"anyway, I was in third grade, she was so beautiful"
"not more than Rory I bet"Jess sighed
"well, you're right, Rory is hot!"
Jess slapped Ernie on the head
"fine, don't get all Rocky Balboa on me"
Jess smirked
"and well, she was a readhead, she weared her little pink dress, with her braids and everything"
"what happened? she grew immense and you couldn't get to her?"
Ernie glared at him
"well, she left the school, to go to and international exchange program, never saw her again"
"I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry about you Rory and Lisa"
Jess nodded
"you know, you're right, we should become homosexuals!"Ernie said
Jess jumped "what the fuck man?"
Ernie giggled "I'm just kidding relax"
Jess shivered "well, you better be"
Three hours later...
Lisa opened the door, and what she saw was worth millions, Jess and Ernie were embraced and sleeping, Jess with his head on top of Ernie's
"awwww"Lisa pouted
She covered them with a blanket,and kissed their cheeks, she didn't go until she whispered on Jess ear
"I just wish you could love me the way you love her"
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AN: Far acroooosss the diistanceee and spaceees betweeen usss! youu haavee comee to shoow youuu goo ooon!-hiccup-