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She left it, she really did leave it, it's true, not as fantasy, not a dream or a nightmare, it was reality, so movie-ish, so geek-ish but still a fact...
Rory Gilmore had left her purse on a couch, a couch that resides in Philadelphia, Jess Mariano's couch to be more specific
"I can't believe it"
"neither do I"
"well, it's obviously a woman's"
"well, yeah, a man doesn't use a purse, and even if we did, we wouldn't use flowered purses"
"ah Jess, Will & Grace, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy..."
"dude, you really should stop watching those gay shows"
"you can't take away the L word from me, I warn you"
"yeah, the L word is good"
"but we haven't let any gay inside the house"
"well, let me tell you your friend Jason, he's a bit , how do I say it, too happy around us, especially around me"
"you're right, he fancies you"
"haha, funny guy, funny guy...seriously dude, he's giving me the creeps"
"oh come on, like no gay has ever checked your bottom out"
"well, no!"
"you think"
"could we stop all this gay talk please?"
"you think she did it on purpose?"
"I don't know man, women's head, it works very very fast"
"and weird"
"maybe it was an accident"Ernie said
"who can be that careless"
"the years my friend, the years"Ernie said pointing at the purse
"should we open it?"
"I don't know"
"what could it have inside?"
"I don't know"
"why would she leave it?"
"I don't know"
"and more important, who is it from!"
"I don't know"
"do you know anything in life?"
"that's a good question... mm nope, I don't know"
Jess sighed
"get me some tweezers will you?"
"you have tweezers?"Ernie frowned
"well, I hope I do, or at least I hope someone in this building does"
"I'll see what I can do"
"thanks"
"whatever"
Ernie left and after an hour, he came back with the tweezers
"yes lady, I'll give them back"
"yes lady, I understand Philly can be a little insecure, but you'll be fine, it's just a couple of minutes"
"yes,yes Mrs Bugthecrapoutofyou"
"no I didn't call you that, I meant Mrs Bonnkenhamenfu"
"look lady, I'll give them back, so you have already sad yes, so, yes, I'll give them back!"Ernie yelled at the top of his lungs, leaving the 60 year old woman totally stunned
"but you didn't have to be so cruel, boy, it's true, you're cute, and then you're an ass"the woman started crying "all I wanted was to make sure my tweezers were going to be fine because they're my only weapon, did I tell you about the time they robbed me"the woman sobbed
"it was horrible, men in black masks"the woman said in a shrill voice
"oh look lady, Mrs Bonnkenkamenfu, I'm so sorry I didn't know"Ernie hugged the old woman "I'm truly sorry, I just really need the tweezers"
"you can have them, but only with one condition"the woman winked at him
Ernie scowled horrified "what condition?"
"a kissy"the woman blushed
Ernie gulped "fi..fine" he said and quickly pecked the woman on the lips
"there"
"but that ain't a real kiss" the woman pretended to blush
"Mrs Bonnkenkamenfu, you're sixty!"Ernie exclaimed terrified
"and needy, since my husband went to war, I haven't gotten some"
"oh my God!"Ernie yelled
"Ernie come on, hurry with the tweezers!"Jess yelled
'what's taking him so long?'he thought and went to check on the door, there was Ernie with some lady
Ernie scowled again, grabbed the lady's nonexistent waist and kissed her, no tongue obviously, suddenly the woman's hands slipped down his back, she grabbed his butt and spanked him, Ernie broke the kiss inmediately
"you're one sick woman!"he yelled flinching away
"and that's a nice bottom"
"arghh! I'm out!"Ernie yelled and went inside the house
He found Jess rolling on the floor, totally breathlessly in laughter
"you...you saw that?"
"haha, hell yeah, what's she gonna do next, ask for a night to borrow the hammer!"
"hey, I've just been sexually harassed by a sixty year old woman to get you your fucking tweezers and you laugh at me"
"well, I didn't know you got things like that"Jess smirked
"I'm so gonna accuse that lady!"
"wonder how you got the free pies from Larry's"
"hey, he liked foreign people! he gave those to me totally free...and you Jess Theodore Mariano have a very very extremely dirty mind!"
Jess smirked "whatever, just give me the tweezers, we have to find out who this purse belongs to"
Ernie handed him the tweezers "I'm gonna go brush my teeth"
"you surely need it"
Ernie glared at him
"come on open,open!"Jess muttered opening the purse
"ha!there! come on, id..id...id"
Jess looked at the picture of the person and his smirk faded
"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore!"he yelled
Jess opened the bathrooms door
"look!"he told Ernie
"whaaww who iww iww?"
Jess took Ernies toothbrush and tossed it in the garbage, he showed Ernie the picture
"wow, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore looks a lot like Rory"
Jess slapped him on the head
"that's because Lorelai Leigh Gilmore is Rory! you dumbass!"
"oh"
"oh no, she left her purse here, you think she did it on purpose?"
"no, she left her purse on YOUR couch by accident...look man, the girl's in love with you, she's obviously looking for an excuse to come and see you! you're one damn lucky dog!"
"no I'm not, I'm screwed, if she's coming, Lisa is here, and youre here, and that pervert lady is here, and...I'm here"
"duhh!"
"oh man, you're so lucky shes coming for your birthday, and let me tell you, make up sex is the greatest!"
"we are not gonna get back together!I'm done with her, I don't want to, I am completely, totally over her"
"no you're not"
"I want her out of my life, I don't want her to come"
"yes you do"
"will you shut up!"
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"mom have you seen my purse?"Rory said
"no, hun , what does it look like?"
"well, it has pink flowers on it"
"umm honey, you sure you didn't?"
"oh my God, I left my purse at Jess's!"Rory yelled"I'm gonna have to go get it, and and what am I gonna say? and his birthday is coming!"
"relax honey, maybe he won't be around"
"it's his place"
"yes, but he works"
"you're right, he won't be around"Rory whispered "he won't, he won't..mom, I can't breath"
"easy honey, easy"
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Jester.
Jester Who?
Jester minute and I'll tell you whats gonna happen!