Lisa's POV
oh my, I hate Rory, I really really hate her, I think I need my Nirvana cd, and I not only hate her, I hate Jess too, he said he cared, what a dumbass, I hate it, whenever she calls him he's there, like..like a frickin puppy!
And look at me, I'm here, crying inside my bedroom, and writing this stupid letter because of that stupid program, ok lets see, I hate Rory, yeah,it's there, I hate Jess, yeah it's there too, puppy, yeah,yeah, oh look one of my tears has fallen on it, wonderful, the ink is all blurred now, all thanks to Jess, she says she loves him, rubbish!
When you love someone you don't break their hearts like that, you don't try to use them to..to.. make your boyfriend jealous, I once read this novel, because I can read too, it said love means never having to say you're sorry! well, she's said sorry too much
What is it about this girl anyway? huh, shes not the prettiest girl in the planet, yes she's bright, but nothing that Einstein wasn't,and he didn't have two girls fighting over him right? well, at least there isn't a biography saying so, it would be creepy to imagine that, but hey we all have our secrets don't we?
Its all an illusion, a lie, she can't love him, nobody can love someone that long and be with somebody else, it can't be...
can it?
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"so what do you think?"Luke asked
"well.."Lorelai said
"welll?"
"I think it's great, he would..love it"
"he'll hate it, I know"
"well, Jess has never been the party type, but perhaps he'll like this one, you know, being so changed and all"
"nobody can change that much"
"who knows, maybe he'll like that"
"mm maybe you're right"
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"yeah?"
"Jess, my beautiful beautiful son"Liz said cheerful
Jess just groaned
"what do you want?"
"why do you think I call to ask for something"Liz said pretending to be hurt
"what do you want?"
"ok fine, I was wondering if you could come to Stars Hollow to-"
"why?"
"because I want to see you, and your birthday is coming, I want to spend time with my only son for now"
"what's that suppose to mean?"Jess said suspiciously
"umm..er..nothing nothing, just please come"
"I don't want to, I hate Stars Hollow"
"oh come on why?"
"well, first its Babette, then Mrs Patty, Kirk, and Gipsy too, man, her voice annoys me, I don't think I could stand being with her for a whole day, I could go back to my nightmares with her around"
"oh yeah the nightmares, just come Jess please, or I'm gonna tell the town your whole name"
"you wouldn't dare"
"oh yes I would"
"no, you wouldn't"
"hey Kirk, you want to know Jess's name?"
"ok fine, I'll be there"
"thanks, oh and hey, you can always bug Taylor"
"yeah,that would be nice"Jess said , while many many ways of annoying Taylor passed his mind
"ok, great, come now, it's perfect time, see you"
"whatever"
"going back to old ways, kiddo"
"I'll see you there"
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Rory knocked the apartment door, she was so nervous, she knew about Jess's party,and that he had traveled to Stars Hollow, but still Ernie and Lisa were there, and that made her incredibly uneasy
Lisa opened the door and gasped
"Rory"she mumbled "what are you doing here, Jess isn't here, he had to go to Stars Hollow"
"hi Lisa, I'm not here for Jess"
Lisa snorted
"whatever, I left my purse here and I just came to get it, thats it"
"yeah right, look come on, just grab your purse and lets get this over"
"ok"
Lisa let Rory in,she showed her the couch and invited her to sit, it all looked so civilized but it made Lisa sick
"Ernie!" she called
"what is it darling?" Ernie said coming down
"Rory is here, she wants her purse back"
"wow, you've made it Lisa, shes here and you haven't killed her yet"
"shut up"
"fine, oh hey Rory sugar, look, I saw your purse right there" Ernie pointed to the couch
"oh, well, I don't see it" Rory said looking for her purse
"let me help you, sweets"
Ernie and Rory looked for her purse but couldn't find it, Lisa just watched
"I can't see it"
"well, it was there, Jess and I left it there"
"oh man!"
Meanwhile Lisa grabbed a soda, she opened it and saw a bag with flowers on it, she grabbed it and gave it to Rory
"here, this is it right"
"yes, thank you so much "Rory hesitated "Lisa"
"whatever"
"so Rory, would you like to stay more time, I could give you some pie, or candy"Ernie offered, knowing perfectly the women could barely stand in the same place at the same time, he wanted to test them a little bit
"umm, I shouldn't, I have to go and arrenge some things with my dean"
"oh come on, the old man can wait"
"oh I shouldn't"
"come on stay, we have ice cream, chocolate-chocolate ice cream!"
"well, if it's chocolate-chocolate ice cream"Rory smiled " but of course if Lisa doesn't mind"
"oh don't mind me, stay as long as you want Rory, the whole weekend maybe, or how about a month or ...forever!"Lisa said
"umm well, it would only be like an hour or so"Ernie said
"sure"Lisa sighed
Rory and Lisa sat on the couch opposite sides, obviously, we don't want a massacre do we?
Ernie opened the fridge, took the bowl of ice cream and three spoons, he sat right between the two girls and put and arm around both of them
They started to eat silently
"well, if this is nice"Ernie said trying to cheer them up
"oh yeah,terrific"Lisa said
"this is really nice, Ernie, thank you"Rory said "I was starving"
"starving to steal boyfriends I guess"Lisa mumbled
"excuse me? Jess was my boyfriend first
"you dumped him, you broke his heart!"
"and I'm really sorry over that Lisa, I really am, I was such a jerk"
"yeah you are"
"I can't see what your problem is"
Ernie shifted
"girls"
"what!"they chorused
"nothing, nothing, it's all good"Ernie said avoiding Lisa's gaze, God sometimes she freaked him out!
"my problem is, he's finally happy and you come and blow it!"
"I'm sorry but I had to try, do you think I'm fine with this?"
"you were fine with Logan"
Rory sighed "listen Ernie I'm sorry, but I"
"oh you wanna take him too?"Lisa said angrily
"I better go"Rory said and Ernie nodded
"perhaps"
"listen Lisa, I'm really sorry over everything, you're right, I don't deserve Jess, and I should go"Rory said sadly
"oh yeah, now you leave"
"what is your problem I already said I'm sorry, you can have Jess if you want to, I'm not gonna get into your life anymore"
"right"Lisa said angrily, and without thinking she punched Rory in the face
"oww"Rory yelled, rubbing her eye, she grabbed Lisa's hair and pulled it, a few seconds passed and they were immersed in a girl's fight, pulling eachother's hair and slapping the other one
"you...broke..his..heart"Lisa said hitting Rorys arm
"I am sorry!"Rory yelled pushing her "ladies!"Ernie yelled "knock it off"
"I'll give you each a cookie!"Ernie offered, but the girls kept fighting "or maybe not"
He grabbed Lisas waist and pulled her out of the fight, she slapped his head, making Ernie fall, "ouch!" he stood up and grabbed her again
"come on, my million dollar baby!"
He locked her inside his room and Rory inside Jess's
"there! and don't try to tear down this walls...mainly because we don't own them and it would be wrong"Ernie said gasping for breath "man, you girls are heavy"
He dialed Jess's cellphone
"yeah?"
"hey Jess um could you come over?"
"why?what's going on?"
"well, your ex's just got into a fight, a real fight, man only the mud was missing!"
"what! what do you mean?"
"well, Lisa and Rory, you should see them, not even Hillary Swank could have given such an amazing spectacle"
"I'm on my way, just..try to calm them ,and don't let them tear down the walls, remember we don't own them"
"sure"
"well, looks like your Casanova is coming"he yelled
"awesome"Lisa yelled back
"just great"Rory said
Hours and hours and more hours passed until Jess arrived
"I'm here, what is it?"
Ernie ran towards him "oh Jess, thank GOD you're here, it's been awful, I didn't know Rory had such a vocabulary and Lisa, she's been yelling about everything that could come inside her little twisted mind"
"but don't worry, the two beasts are now locked, Lisa is in my bedroom and Rory is in yours"
"god, I have to change, in the party they made me wear this coat, it was very hot"
"why did you wear it?"
"well, it turns out that if I didn't do it, Babbete and all her crazy friends could do anything they'd want with me,and I preferred to leave that to their imagination and never ever try to do it"
"hey Rory, now that you're there, could you give me a t-shirt? it's white and it's right on the floor I think!"Jess yelled, Ernie opened the door and Rory handed Jess the t-shirt
"thanks"Jess changed and turned to face Ernie
"what happened?"he asked
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AN: heres a joke for you crazy-like-a-crazy-monkey:
What do you call a cute volcano?
Lava-ble!