Chapter 41: Safe Distance

Krystal walked through the shrine. She walked past patients. She walked past her comrades. She walked past the idols and the torches that burned for the gods whom she served. Yet Krystal saw none of it. She was caught in a stupor. Her feet moved on their own. All that Krystal knew is that they took her away from the haze of gloom and despair suffocating her senses.

An apprentice called to her. Krystal barely heard his question and answered it simply. She couldn't even tell if her response satisfied him. Krystal walked off before the tod could say another word.

She soon found herself in the gardens. Here, the space was open, and the air was fresh. Krystal removed the cloth covering her muzzle so that she could breathe freely. She passed more apprentices tending to the flowerbeds. Her journey led her towards to the area used for meditation. However, Krystal had no plans to reflect. She only wanted to be alone, away from the constant sadness and dread now incorporated into her daily life.

Krystal sat down on a bench. She sank her head into her hands. A terrible, long breath escaped her lungs. She felt exhausted. Physically and emotionally. It took all her strength and mana to keep as many of the nuhmryg patients alive as she could. Some days, it felt like it wasn't enough. Today, it had certainly not been.

Another patient died just minutes ago. His name had been Deiden. He had been young, barely into his adult years. When he first arrived at the shrine, the tod often told jokes to cheer up those around him. They certainly did. However, that bright spark diminished over the last few days. Deiden wouldn't wake at all yesterday. Then this morning, one of Krystal's juniors told her that he had stopped breathing. Krystal tried to revive him with chest compressions, but she should have known that it would be useless. Deiden's body simply had no strength left to live on.

When another lythan dragged her away – Krystal did not know who – that was when the hopelessness crashed down upon her. No matter what they did, the dead kept outnumbering the living. Not even Dr Andross's advice did more than spare a few more souls. Supplementing a patient's mana might improve their chances of recovering, but the lythans were spreading theirs too thin to make any discernible difference. The Jad only had 20 lythans who were able to treat the sick. Alas, the number of active cases had now exceeded 10 times that. It wasn't possible to help everyone at once.

Krystal's thoughts turned back to Deiden. He had a family who would be distraught to learn about their son and brother's fate. His young mate would suffer anguish that Krystal wouldn't wish upon anyone. There would be friends who would grieve too. Dozens of lives would be impacted from the loss of one. And Krystal could not have done anything more to stop it.

She took hold of her staff. No matter where she went, Krystal carried it always. Its gemstone gleamed at her. Absently, Krystal ran her fingers over the polished shaft. A lythan's duty was to protect and save lives. But what good was she if people kept dying under her care one after the other? What was the point of her even trying if she was doomed to fail anyway?

"Krystal?"

Jolting, Krystal looked over her shoulder. Her mother stood next to her. Worry plastered her face. "Are you alright?" Nomar asked.

Krystal's ears flattened against her head again. She turned her nose to the ground beneath her feet. "We lost another one today."

"I know." Nomar sat down next to Krystal. She pulled her in close and pressed her forehead against Krystal's temple. "Javlin was worried about you. He asked you if the new mana stones had come in yet, and you told him to check the gardens."

Krystal blushed hard. She couldn't believe that she acted so foolishly in front of one of her students. "Oh, gods…! I wasn't paying attention."

"It did confuse him a bit," Nomar chuckled briefly. She rubbed Krystal's shoulder. "Are you well, dear?"

"I'm fine," Krystal sighed. "I'm just tired."

"I understand. We all are."

"I'm tired of not being able to help these people. It seems like no matter what I do, nothing will save them. It makes me feel useless." A tear rolled down Krystal's cheek. Her mother wiped it away.

"You're not alone in this," Nomar said. "We're all doing our best to save the people who've come to us. But the nuhmryg is powerful and has caught us unprepared. Right now, we are fighting a long battle to stop it. Yes, it is difficult. But we are fighting it together."

"But do you think it's enough?" Krystal challenged miserably. "I know we are trying. We are trying so hard. But there are too many people. Even if we save one person, 10 more lose their lives instead. How many more will die before this sickness finally ends? And how long will it be before we all finally break?"

Nomar held her tighter. "I don't know. Though I do know that everything with a beginning also has an end. That is the cycle that Meen and Yul have built for our world. And just like how the harshest winter will always pass, so too will this sickness. We just need to save as many lives as we can until then. Because that is our duty."

Right… Their duty. Krystal's duty, which she swore to carry out against all adversity. The duty that she was failing. "Mama…? Did I become a master too soon?"

Nomar's hand ran through Krystal's hair. "No, my little one. You passed your trials because you were ready for them. I'm proud of you for everything that you've accomplished in your life."

Another tear escaped Krystal. "Even if I'm not able to save everyone?"

"Even then," Nomar smiled. "I carry the same burden that you are right now. I don't think a single member of our order is free of it either." She brushed Krystal's hair from her eyes. "I know that you are doing your best to help these people. No one could ever ask more from you."

A small smile started to pull at Krystal's lips. But it wasn't strong enough to last.

"In fact," her mother continued, "I've notice how many in the Jad look to you for inspiration. Not just the apprentices and juniors, but some of the other masters as well. They see how hard you work every day, and they do their best to emulate your efforts. So please, don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing a better job than you realise."

Krystal sniffed. "I wish I could feel better though."

"Have you been sleeping well?" Krystal shook her head. How could she when there was so much to worry about? "I believe that you should go home early today. It's clear that you need rest."

"I'm fine, Mama."

"What is the fourth rule of Grandmaster Alder's teachings?"

Krystal sighed. "We must rest when our bodies need to, for we cannot serve anyone if we are not able to serve ourselves."

"Precisely. Which means that you should go home and sleep. You will feel better if you do."

"But what about…?!"

"The rest of us can handle things without you," Nomar interrupted sternly. "You are not the first lythan I have sent away because you've worked yourself to exhaustion."

Krystal shrank into herself. There was no room left to argue. "Alright."

"Good girl," Nomar smiled. "When you return tomorrow, you'll find that you can work harder than you could today. That will then better help everyone else." All Krystal could do was nod in response.

Nomar's eye then shifted. "You seem to be holding your staff quite close lately."

Surprised, Krystal noticed that she hugged the staff to her chest. "I didn't realise," she murmured. "I suppose holding it makes me feel better."

A gentle laugh hummed from Nomar. "You certainly are a lythan at heart."

Krystal gazed upon the staff for several long moments. "I think it's more than that." She twisted it in her hands, watching the gemstone's hue morph between shades. "Before my trials, I was going to search for the crystal I'd use for my staff. But Fox found this one for me first. He worked so hard to get it, so I decided to accept the stone."

She didn't see her mother's expression, but Nomar's voice carried surprise. "And the spirits still blessed it?"

"They almost didn't," Krystal confessed. "But my crystal means so much to me because Fox cared enough to find it for me. That seemed to satisfy them. And now when I hold my staff, it feels like Fox is right here with me, even when he's not." A dreadful weight pulled at her heart. "I miss him."

Nomar stroked Krystal's shoulder. "Have you called him lately?"

"Most nights. Fox also writes me letters. They let me know that he's okay." Krystal clutched her staff close again. "I try to talk to him as often as I can, but it's not the same as having him there with me."

"I know what you're going through. I feel the same way about being apart from your father," Nomar replied. To prevent her from inadvertently passing the nuhmryg onto him at home, Thalse had spent the last few weeks staying at Fox's vacant house with Sabre. "It's taken a toll on us – not being together for so long – but I can at least take comfort knowing that your father is safe and well."

Krystal looked to her with worry. "Are you okay, Mama? That must feel like torture."

Nomar's smile revealed how worn down she was inside. "We're managing. Your father and I are only ever a few kilometres apart at most. It helps that he still lives close to home." She giggled as she tapped her temple. "But as hard as it's made the last few weeks, I wouldn't trade our bond for anything. It keeps your father close to me."

Krystal smiled. Her tail always wagged whenever her parents talked about their ehn. They always spoke with the deepest love. It made Krystal's heart warmer than honey inside her chest.

"You should reach out to Fox tonight," Nomar suggested. "Talk with him for as long as you want to. Make the most of your time. I promise I won't disturb you when I get home."

That did sound wonderful. "I wouldn't know what to do or say. Fox and I talk about everything usually. It's never about anything special though."

"Sometimes that's all you need," Nomar smiled. "Why don't you try making a nice dinner for yourself. Eat it while you're linked with Fox. It will almost feel like you're sharing a meal together."

Krystal chewed her lip. "I suppose… I'll make something simple."

"Cook whatever your heart wants. It can be as grand as you'd like."

"But there's a food shortage…"

"It is one meal. You are allowed to spoil yourself," Nomar insisted. She tussled her daughter's hair. "You will feel the difference when you wake up tomorrow."

Once again, Krystal's only choice was to give in. "Alright, Mama."

Nomar hugged her close. "Good. Now, go home and get some sleep. I'll see you later tonight." Krystal hugged back tightly. She took comfort from her mother's scent. It smelled of love, reassurance, and safety.

The muscles in Fox's arms burned. A strained snarl tore from his chest. Slow and steadfast, he pulled the cart and its heavy load behind him. This usually wasn't so difficult. However, Fox carried a bit more weight this time than most journeys he now made to Kezamat. He cursed the gentle hill leading up to its gate.

Up ahead, Fox could make out the shape of the guards atop the battlements. They opened the gates. Two of them emerged to greet Fox. He stopped on a level patch of earth a few metres away from the walls.

Sabre, standing on the left, approached him first. "Good to see you, Fox." A weary smile marked his face of late. "How are you holding up?"

"Same as usual," Fox smiled back, panting heavily. "Ready to dump this load so I don't have to carry it anymore."

His old laugh shook Sabre's chest. "And what have you brought for us this time?"

Fox set the cart's handlebar down and stepped aside to let Sabre take a closer look. He hated treating his friends like lepers, but he couldn't afford to be careless with the nuhmryg still active. Sabre peered over the side of the wagon. He whistled at the parts of a single animal carcass inside. As big as a feral moose and similar in shape, it took up most of the cargo tray.

"A zerbru! How'd you manage to nab this guy all by yourself?"

Fox grinned. "Bullets hit a lot harder than arrowheads. The tricky bit though was getting it onto the cart." The thing easily weighed 400 kilograms. It took a full hour and several metres of rope to hack it up and suspend the pieces out of the reach of scavengers before Fox could load them all onboard.

Sabre shook his head. "You smug bastard." The look of faux jealousy soon left his face. "Great job catching it. A lot of people are going to enjoy full bellies with this."

Fox nodded sombrely. "How are things in the city?"

It was always a bad sign whenever Sabre sighed. The sound seemed to carry the weight of the world falling. He asked his partner to carry the cart through the city gate, thus leaving him alone with Fox.

"Not much better. My dad tells me that the merchants are arguing with the chief over food prices. They say that there aren't enough supplies for everyone, so they have to raise the prices to cover their own costs."

"I can't believe them," Fox shook his head. Here he thought that Cerinians of all people were above blind, selfish capitalism, especially during a crisis.

"But the problem isn't that there's not enough food. It's that people are too scared of the nuhmryg to go out and tend to the fields. We have crops that are ready to harvest, but not enough foxes who want to fetch them."

Fox turned his gaze to where his zurbru left on its way to the butchers. "Good thing I'm bringing you guys something to eat every few days. Too bad I'm only one hunter."

Sabre agreed. "We've managed to convince some people to help out, but they're mostly doing it because they're starving. All this desperation and fear is spoiling the city worse than the sickness is. It's like when I wake up, all I can feel around me is negativity. I'm surprised that spirits aren't turning hostile at this point."

That would be the worst thing to add to their mounting troubles. If spirits started rampaging in the city, it would be up to the lythans to calm them down. And the Jad was already under immense pressure because of the epidemic. "Do you know how Krystal is going?" Fox asked.

Sabre shook his head. "Haven't heard from either her, Dad, or Aunt Nomar since before yesterday. Haven't had the chance to ask Uncle Thalse about them either. Whenever we're not working, we're both trying to catch up on sleep."

Disappointed, Fox sighed. "That's fine." He opened the pouch on his belt and handed Sabre a roll of parchment. "Leave this at Thalse and Nomar's house, would you?" Sabre accepted the letter with a nod.

"I'll make sure that Krystal gets it," he promised.

"Thanks." At that moment, a new cart arrived with Fox's payment: fresh bread, a charged light crystal, wooden planks, and a box of nails. In terms of value, it was a raw deal for a zurbru, but Fox didn't need much to keep himself going. The bottle of wine was a nice bonus though. Fox picked up the handlebar. "You guys take care. Hope things get better soon."

"You and me both, Fox," Sabre chuckled. "Take care on your way back. See you soon."

With a parting smile, Fox set off down the hill. It was already an easier trek with the lighter load. Though as Fox put distance between him and the city, a part of him lingered back to Sabre and the others. He wished he could stay there to help. However, judging from what Sabre told him, Fox knew that he was helping more through doing what he was now. What Fox realised that he really wanted was to be around friends again, no matter the risk.

When he felt someone probe at his mind, Fox first thought that Sabre forgot to tell him something. "Fox?"

He stopped. "Krystal?" Fox's mood brightened.

"You feel close," she noticed.

"I just dropped some fresh meat off at the gate. I was on my way back to the cabin." Fox glanced over his shoulder to the city. "How are you?"

"I'm…" Tired. Miserable. Anxious. Longing to see him. Fox felt all the emotions that Krystal hesitated to put into words. "I've been better," she settled on.

If he could kiss her woes away in that moment, Fox would have done so already. He thought about turning back to see her. If he kept his distance from people whom he came across, he wouldn't need to worry about the nuhmryg.

"No, Fox. It's not safe," Krystal warned him sternly. Ears falling flat, Fox let the scheme drop from his head.

"Sorry. I'm just worried about you. Are you okay?"

"I've been sent home. I don't want to talk about it just yet." Although she did better to withhold any details, Fox could still feel sadness wafting from Krystal's thoughts. "Mama suggested that I make a nice dinner tonight. I thought we could both cook something and enjoy it together when I call later."

"That's a great idea. I kept some zurbru meat for myself. I'll see what I can do with it."

A spike of envy shot through their link. "Aww. I'd like some of that," Krystal pouted.

Fox grinned. "Sorry, love. I'll see if I can catch another one when I can come back home."

"I might hold you to that." The link then became fuzzy as what felt like a yawn came from Krystal. "I'm sorry, Fox. I'll call you back tonight. I'm so…"

"It's okay," Fox assured her. "Get some rest. We'll talk again soon. Love you."

"Love you too."

Once Krystal left his head, Fox yearned to be with her more than ever. It was like a part of him was missing without Krystal. Their brief chat made him worry about her wellbeing. He wanted to ask Krystal what was bothering her. However, Fox resigned that he would have to wait until night fell for that chance. With a heavy sigh, he resumed his march forward.

On a beaten side trail in the forest's outskirts, Fox hauled his cart to the front of a small hunter's cabin. It was an old structure. Decades had worn the cabin down, leaving holes in its roof and mildew where the rain got in. Its decrepit state was the main reason that Fox didn't need to share the cabin with anyone else. In the beginning, he honestly considered whether he'd rather take the risk living in Kezamat than a hut on its way to collapsing.

After taking the smallgoods inside, Fox returned with a hammer in hand. He climbed onto the cabin's roof and removed a few planks that were severely rotten. Fox then replaced them with the new boards. He could reuse the good sections from the old ones for tonight's firewood

Fixing up the cabin became a nice side project that Fox took up. The work kept him busy when he wasn't hunting, gathering, or preserving whatever he brought back that day. It also made the place more comfortable to live in. Fox could feel the difference when the wind didn't pierce the walls like it used to while he slept.

By late afternoon, the rest of the roof was patched up. All it needed now was a coat of lacquer to waterproof it. After that, Fox could put the new insulation in. That would keep the cabin warmer next winter. Fox hoped that he wouldn't still be living there when that time came.

Thinking about his earlier conversation with Krystal, Fox set to work on dinner. He set a simple stew to boil using the few herbs he had along with some wild vegetables. The warm aroma filled the cabin's interior as Fox sat down at the table. He reached for the wooden box containing the items that his team sent him from orbit.

Fox started with rereading their letters. Now that he was isolated from practically everyone he knew back home, Fox cherished the words of his dearest friends more than ever. They made him feel like they were down here with him. They reminded Fox that even though he was out of their lives, his friends still thought about him often. It helped Fox to believe that his friends in Kezamat were much the same.

He soon picked up a magazine from Star Fox's last care package. Its cover showed him and Krystal snuggling in Cerinia's fields. "Love Found in the Blue Yonder," the headline read, doubtlessly drawing attention to Krystal's exotic pelt. Fox rolled his eyes. He had put off reading the magazine to mentally prepare himself. A competition ran between him and Falco for years to find the most outlandish tabloid articles about each other. Most of them were good for a laugh.

Fox had his suspicions about what the magazine's publisher had to say this time. Today felt like the day to finally find out. Fox sucked up his courage and opened to the article. His brows shot up as he discovered that it covered three pages. That was quite a lot to write from just one photograph.

As he read, Fox got a clearer sense of how long he had really been stuck on Cerinia. To him, just over two years had passed since the battle against Andross's followers. According to the magazine however, Fox had been missing closer to three years. That difference in time sank a pit in his stomach. Fox could hardly imagine what that must have felt like to his family, having not known whether he survived up until that snapshot was taken. Judging from the pain he suffered, it must have been just as bad for them. Maybe worse.

The article only focused on Fox's disappearance and reappearance for the first column. The rest of the page covered statements made by his friends and family. The story then turned squarely onto Fox's presumed affair with Krystal, whom the article named the 'native love interest.' His expression shifted many times as he read. Fox smirked at assumptions that were completely wrong. His brows lifted at some more bizarre ones. Then a frown occupied Fox's face as he came across some statements that felt downright racist towards Krystal and her people.

"Uncivilised, my ass," Fox griped.

He ended up tossing the magazine aside with a disgruntled huff. A part of Fox hoped to learn more about what was happening in Lylat right now. However, if the load of crap he just read was the best that rag had to offer, Fox decided he was better off waiting until Star Fox sent him down a radio. Or at least a good newspaper.

Fox soon pulled over a book that he kept on the side of the table, along with an inkwell and pen. Most of the book's pages were still blank. Fox opened to the last page of text. He reread the previous few paragraphs to remind himself where he left off. Dipping the pen's point into black ink, he resumed filling the book.

As per his mother's request, Fox started a journal of his experiences since arriving on Cerinia. It turned out that there was a lot to write about. Under crystal light, Fox spent hours each night slowly recounting the last few years. He described the Cerinians and their lifestyle; the planet and its wildlife; as well as the existence of magic and spirits. All in as much detail as Fox could put to paper.

Documenting his story like this felt more exciting than Fox initially thought it would be. Apart from Andross, he was going to be the first person to ever tell the galaxy what life on Cerinia was like. There were probably loads of people who would read his book if he got it published. It could sell for millions or maybe more. He might even score a movie deal, or at least his own documentary series. If that happened, he'd be financially set for the rest of his life.

Fox then stopped to reflect on his thoughts. Disgust welled up inside him. Krystal was working her tail off to save lives during an epidemic. She sounded exhausted when Fox spoke with her this morning. Yet here he was dreaming about making an easy profit after he returned home. What a scummy thing to think about when countless other people were struggling just a few kilometres away from him.

"There's nothing wrong with planning for the future," a voice spoke suddenly in his head.

Shocked, Fox's hand knocked into the inkwell. It almost splashed onto his book. "Krystal?" he responded aloud.

"Hello, love. I'm sorry for startling. You were quite engrossed in your work, and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Mookun." Fox sealed the inkwell and cleared the table space. "How are you feeling now?"

"Better. I slept through most of the day." Krystal paused, but the sorrow she felt flowed through. "We lost another patient this morning."

Fox's heart sank. "Oh, Krys… I'm sorry that happened. Are you okay?"

He heard Krystal's sigh through their link. "I wish I knew if there was anything that I could have done differently to save him. But I can't find any answers, and people around me just keep dying." Pain wracked her. "It's made me wonder whether I'm making a difference at all."

"Of course, you are!" Fox protested. "Krystal, I know that you're working harder than anyone else at the shrine. That's the kind of person who you are. And I know for certain that things would be a lot worse than they are now without you."

A flicker of warmth made Fox think of Krystal's smile. "Thank you, Fox. It's just been hard to feel confident when it seems like everything is getting worse."

"Is it?" Fox worried.

"I'm not sure anymore. I've been so tired lately that everything just feels that way. Mama told me that I'd feel better if I simply rested. She might have been right."

"I agree with her. You definitely sound better than earlier," Fox chuckled.

Krystal conceded. "Being sent home wasn't terrible, but it still doesn't feel right sleeping without you. I miss you."

Fox sighed. "I miss you too, love. It's so lonely over here that I've started talking to myself."

"Oh, dear," she worried gently. "Are you doing alright?"

"I'll manage," Fox shrugged. Hell, the reason that he spoke to Krystal aloud right now was because it was one of the few times outside of his deliveries where he got to have a conversation with anyone. Silence could drive a man as mad as loneliness after too long.

"I've been keeping myself busy," Fox then said, seeking to turn the conversation. "Spent the afternoon repairing the roof. I can hardly feel a draft in here now."

"That's wonderful."

"And the book I'm writing for Mom is coming along nicely."

"I'm sure she'll love it."

"You'll definitely hear about it," Fox grinned. "When Mom finds something that she likes, she shares it with everyone around her. I think I've learned most of what I know about planets from just her rambling about journals she's read."

"Though you didn't share her interest?"

"Not really. Most of the stuff that she told me pretty much went through one ear and straight out the other."

Krystal laughed. "A pity. You could have been a scientist like her."

"You know what? I should probably be an honorary one or something," Fox sniffed. "I mean, I know more about Cerinia than most scientists back home now."

"What a clever, little fox that makes you." Fox felt like that was 30 percent sincere and 70 percent of Krystal simply teasing him.

"We'll see who's clever after I'm living rich in a mansion on Corneria."

"And would I be living rich in a mansion too?"

Fox smiled warmly. "If that's what you want, love." Krystal's tail wagged on her end.

He could already see it. An acre of lush gardens with a big house in the centre. Four stories at least, with enough rooms for every one of his friends to have their own bed. On nights like this, he and Krystal would curl up together in the den. A fireplace to keep them warm. Portraits of their loved ones all around the walls. And a feral bear skin rug lying across the…

That thought dropped dead where it stood as Fox accidentally triggered an anxious fit. "Fox?! Are you alright?!" Krystal exclaimed.

His hand clenched over his stuttering heart. Fox took deep breaths. "I'm okay," he gasped. There will definitely be no bear skin rugs in his dream home. His mind drifted back to the ordus den that he found the other day.

"What was that you just thought about?"

Fox flinched. There really was nothing that he could hope to hide from Krystal. He sighed. "I went hunting for ordi a few days ago."

Alarm struck Krystal. "What happened?! You weren't hurt, were you?!"

"No. I'm okay," Fox shook his head. "I gave up before the ordi noticed me."

"Why did you go after them in the first place?"

Fox prepared himself to share that answer. "I was gathering herbs like I usually do. I found an ordus print along the way. Had a panic attack almost instantly."

"Oh, Fox…" He felt Krystal's desire to hold him.

"I thought that if I could kill one, I could finally stop being afraid. But when I found the ordus with her cubs, I couldn't go through with it." Fox buried his head into his hands, trying not to slip too deep into the memory. "It wasn't because I was scared of them though. I just couldn't bring myself to hurt them. They were just minding their own business."

"I'm glad that you didn't. I'd hate to think what might have happened to you if the mother thought her cubs were in danger."

Fox sighed again. "I didn't get over my fear of them, so it all feels like a wasted effort. Does it make me weak for backing out at the last minute?"

He felt Krystal's reassurance before he heard her words. "No, Fox. It doesn't. It wouldn't have been right to hunt those ordi if they weren't endangering anyone. I'm proud of you for walking away."

"I wish that I could feel proud too," Fox muttered. He chewed on his lip. "I've been going over the whole thing in my head since then. For some strange reason, I wasn't as freaked out as I thought I'd be when I found the ordi. But I still get anxious whenever I think about them."

"Do you think it means something?"

"Maybe. I'm not entirely sure yet, but I get the feeling that it's not the ordi themselves that bother me. When I let myself think about it, I have these other thoughts that feel linked to them. Of falling. Of crashing. Of feeling lost."

Krystal followed the lines forming in Fox's mind. "You think it's got more to do with how you came to our world."

Tears burned Fox's eyes. "I think so. I'm not going to lie, Krys. That was the worst day of my life. I lost everything when my Arwing broke down and carried me onto this planet. I got separated from my friends. I lost my ship. The landing was crap. And I felt like I was trapped here with no hope of getting home."

He stopped when his breath hitched. Fox took a moment to recompose. "Then to top it all off, that ordus attacked me. I thought I was going to die that day. That was the clearest thing I can remember from it."

Krystal said nothing, but Fox could still feel her comforting him. "I reckon that when I think about ordi, I think about that moment specifically. Because it's tied to everything else from that day. It feels like it all jumbles together into that one memory."

"So, what your saying is that ordi remind you of the trauma you felt from when you first arrived on Cerinia?" Krystal surmised. "You remember what you lost, and the pain suddenly surges back all at once?"

"Pretty much," Fox nodded. "Since I figured that out, the panic attacks don't get quite as intense. It feels like I can pass through them quicker. They still happen though, and I'm not keen to go looking for any more bears."

"That's reassuring to hear, Fox. I'm glad that you've learned something from your experience. I promise, once you can come home, we can work together on it some more. Maybe we can finally overcome your fear once and for all."

Fox smiled. "Thanks, Krystal. I already feel better talking about this with you now."

"I'm happy to hear that, my love." She decided to turn the subject towards something more pleasant. "Something smells good," she remarked.

At that moment, Fox remembered the stew. He rose to give it a few stirs with a ladle. The scent grew stronger in Fox's nose. Both he and Krystal murmured hungrily. "I miss your cooking," Krystal said.

"And what are you making?" Fox smiled. Krystal sent him a vision of the curry that she was preparing. "After nearly a month of stews and roasts, I'd love to have that for a change."

"As soon as we deal with the nuhmryg, I'll make you as much as you can eat," Krystal promised.

"You're the one who's working hard to help people. I should be the one cooking for you," Fox challenged.

"You're doing just as much good." Krystal's tone then saddened. "It feels like there aren't enough resources in the city. It's a struggle to get a hold of enough food and medicine. We rely on what you're doing more than you realise."

Fox watched the stew bubble away. "I just wanted to help, is all."

"You've done more than anyone could have asked from you. The meat that you hunt keeps our people fed, and the herbs that you collect go towards the medicine that we need to treat the sick. Without your help, Fox, we'd be far worse off than we are now. We're grateful to you. I'm grateful to you."

A blush made Fox's face ache. "I'm just one hunter. There are plenty of others like me doing the same thing."

"I'm just one lythan. There are more besides me. But that doesn't diminish what you or I do. You said it yourself."

"I guess I did. Though, none of the other lythans work as hard as you do."

"And none of the other hunters know as much about the herbs we need than you do. Now, would you please stop humbling yourself?"

Fox decided that this was one of those times when it was pointless to keep arguing. A smile touched his lips. "Neither of us are giving ourselves enough credit, are we?"

Krystal's love poured into him. "No, we're not."

Once her curry was complete, Fox filled a bowl with his stew and sat down. Taste could not pass across the distance between them as well as scents could. However, Fox enjoyed feeling Krystal's constant presence as they ate. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine her sitting with him. He sorely missed being able to reach out and touch her.

"As do I," Krystal responded to Fox's thoughts. "I hope this sickness passes soon."

"It will," Fox promised, thinking with his mouth full. "And when it does, I'll run over to give you the biggest hug you've ever had."

"I'm sure that there's much more that you want to give me than that."

Fortunately, Fox was so used to Krystal's teasing now that he didn't choke on his food. "Maybe," he admitted. A cheeky grin danced across Fox's muzzle. "I don't suppose that Cerinians use their telepathy for phone sex, do they?"

His question met with immediate confusion. "Phone sex?"

Once Fox briefly described the practice, Krystal snorted in bewildered amusement. "You Lylatians come up with the strangest ideas."

"I will not deny that." Fox shovelled another spoonful into his mouth. "So? Are you interested?"

Krystal snickered again, though this time gloom followed it. "Another time perhaps. After what happened this morning… It wouldn't feel appropriate."

Fox swore softly at himself under his breath. "No, I understand. Sorry for bringing it up."

Her mind delved into his in close approximation of a psychic nuzzle. "We can try another time. But I promise, as soon as you can come home, we can do everything we want to each other. Physically." Fox looked forward to that. It was a true shame that they were so far apart right now, he thought.

After dinner, Fox washed up and read his journal to Krystal for an hour. Fatigue then set in, leading Fox to lie down across his bed. He continued to talk with Krystal about nothing important until she became too sleepy to sustain their link. The next morning, Fox couldn't recall ever saying goodnight to Krystal. Likewise, Krystal could not remember when she disconnected from him. It felt as though they had fallen asleep together while joined. Whether that was the case or not didn't matter though, for they each felt more refreshed from that morning onwards.