Deleted Scenes
So...ever wondered what happened at Jess's birthday party in Stars Hollow? ...if you're of the very few persons who did check this out...
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Jess arrived at Luke's, he had agreed with Liz before to meet there, perhaps he'd see Luke and find out a little bit more about this whole wedding thing, he was curious, apparently Luke had finally got the girl
He parked his car outside, he knew what they were planning, another party, just another lame night of congratulations and pretend to actually enjoy it
The truth was Jess Mariano had never been the party type,or even the small reunion type...nothing made him that excited,well except maybe to find an unpublished book by Hemmingway, oh he remembered when Lisa did that for him, she searched every library to find a book Jess hadn't read
Boy he was happy that day
Perhaps tonight wasn't gonna be that crappy...who am I kidding, it's gonna be hell! ...well, there's always Taylor and Kirk, he could have some honest fun with them, the old times
Jess opened the door and pretended not to know there were thirty people in there hiding in the dark waiting for the right time to come out and yell : congratulations! followed by some hugs, they knew he hated , exactly why they kept doing it
Not to forget there is the incessant babling about how he grew up, how thin! and of course some barely asking if it was true the book thing
"oh you wrote a book?"he could hear Gipsy saying with that voice, urghh the voice
"and is it like a real book or like a small magazine?" that Babbette couldn't differ them
"and according to my sources and my research there's a 1 opportunity that Stars Hollow would get your book"Kirk saying with a pencil next to his ear and holding a bunch of papers
"you know, I've always had a thing for writers, my 5th husband was one, a very hot one"Miss Patty whispering in his ear, the harrassment
Jess paced around the room, they were taking too long maybe they can't find the light sw--
"congratulations!" they yelled turning on the lights
Jess sighed and saw many of the Stars Hollow's residents coming towards him, it was like they wanted to eat him or something
"thanks"he replied simply
Miss Patty went to hug him, she grabbed his back and pulled him to her holding him tight, Jess gulped and tried to breath, action that Miss Patty's perfume wouldn't let happen, she let him go just before he passed out, feeling dizzy Jess saw Luke and Lorelai
He walked to them
"hey" Luke said
"Miss Patty huh"Lorelai said
Jess nodded and looked around "thanks, I guess"
"it was nothing, congrats kid"
Luke hugged Jess and dropped him quickly
"come on, before I get all emotional and everything"
Jess smirked
"women"he mumbled
Lorelaid congratulated him, sure she knew he had recently broken her daughter's heart but she also remembered he got her back to college
Jess widened his eyes in horror seeing Babette coming, with her arms open and her mouth sending little kisses
She approached him calling him "sweetheart","sugar","little bear", and even "bonnie"
Jess frowned "bonnie?"he asked perplexed
"oh yeah, you even have the long ears" Babette said
Jess grabbed his ears "my ears are fine!"he exclaimed
"well,sure,they are, they're just a little longer that the usual and your mouth is a little crooked"
Jess left when she wasn't looking and bumped into...Gipsy!
"hey"she said with that voice, I believe I don't have to describe it to you, mainly because it would be a waste of time to try to find the actual words and because well, there aren't actual words for that, just think of Chandler's Janice from Friends :shudders:
"hey"Jess said trying to sound casual, suck it you cannot sound casual with that woman, she smells fear!
Gipsy kept staring at him "so you...oh you wrote a book?"she said
Jess nodded
"so, between men, argh I mean man and woman, how many did you screw in Philly?"Gipsy whispered
"I...don't know, I have to go"Jess said confused
"oh, you're trying to be gentleman of course, so changed and all"
"yeah,sure"Jess said ingnoring her
A few hours passed between punch, explaining about the book, refusing some marriage proposals and saying he didn't exactly know what his haircut was, the playing time was on
Babette got up from her sit and she raised on a table, she cleraed her throat so the people would hear her
"today is a very special day,because...ermm..."she turned to Luke and said in a drunk and very drunk voice "hey what's todaay?"
"mm Jess's birthday actually"Luke whispered 'so wasted'he thought
"yeah,right,it's Jesse's birthday!"she said dizzy
The multitude stopped their conversations and looked at her, then at Jess
"congratulatioooons!"they yelled walking, if you could call that walking but anyway they were walking to him
"oh shit!"Jess exclaimed and walked the other way "ermm, thanks, but you've already congratulated me, all of you, and I..I have to go now"
Jess tried to go through the Stars Hollow population but Babbette's voice stopped him
'crap'he thought
"no,no,no,no,no...no! you can't leave"she said pointing or trying to point at him
"umm..yes I can, you just have to watch me"Jess said
"noo, we have a...a new...this thing..oh yeah game" she said after Lorelai whispered the word
"yeah, look at this, I have,thanks to Liz's cooperation this pictures of our friend Jesse"
"Jess"Jess said
"oh right, Jesse well, it turns out that this pictures are of Jesse's childhood, more specificly of the shower time!"she exclaimed and all the women giggled
"oh man"Jess complained
"oh yes"Babbette said "but don't worry, I'll give you back these, you just have to grab this bottle of tequila and give it to drink to all the girls in here- hiccup-the men can..wait"she giggled
"what no way!"Jess said annoyed ,they were getting on his nerves so quickly
"and that's not all"Gipsy said raising her voice, her very special voice "you have to wear this coat and..just this coat"she said and smirked
"what! hell no, I'm not gonna be your sex-slave, so all you women will get the action they haven't had in years,even before I was born!"
The women gasped and laughed madly
"sure"Miss Patty said
They grabbed him to the center and he struggled but man, they were strong
20 minutes later Jess Mariano found himself wearing a red coat, and just that red coat and giving the women drinks, every ten minutes he got one picture, there were three of them, he already had two and he was going to get the last one
'god, how low am I' he thought giving some random woman a drink
"and is it like a real book or like a small magazine?" Babbette asked when it was her turn, Jess groaned and left, now it was Liz's turn
"I'm never forgiving you for this woman"he said angry
"oh come on, it's fun"
"you find my slavery fun!"Jess exclaimed
"hey,you're a messed up kid from a messed up mother and an even more messed up father!"Liz said
"thanks, you're really helping my self-esteem"Jess said sarcastically and before he started to remember her of his childhood traumas his cellphone rang
"yeah?"
"hey Jess um could you come over?"
"why?what's going on?"
"well, your ex's just got into a fight, a real fight, man only the mud was missing!"
"what! what do you mean?"
"well, Lisa and Rory, you should see them, not even Hillary Swank could have given such an amazing spectacle"
"I'm on my way, just..try to calm them ,and don't let them tear down the walls, remember we don't own them"
"sure"
"I have to go"he said
"why?"
"they got into a fight"
"who?"Liz asked confused, Jess didn't reply and left, Kirk stopped him
"and according to my sources and my research there's a 1 percent opportunity that Stars Hollow would get your book"Kirk saying with a pencil next to his ear and holding a bunch of papers
"what?"
"oh and 87 percent of the women in here love your attire, the other 13 percent either hate it or are color-blind,they've been asking for a red coat, and your coat is obviously red so"
"yeah,that's great,look, I have to go"Jess said and ran like hell, with the women coming after him
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Here are Lisa's good-byes:
MACKENZIE
The two girls were sobbing and hugging eachother from two hours now and they still hadn't said everything,or even something
"I'm gonna miss you so much"Lisa said
"I'm gonna miss you more"
"no, I am"
"I am"
"oh fuck them,we so should have hooked up!"Lisa said teasingly
"I know!"Mackenzie cried "but remember Lisa, we, the women are wild lioness when going out with foreign men"
"I'm gonna do my best"Lisa said and smiled "I'm gonna--"she started but broke in tears before she could say anything more
"take care of Ernie for me"
"I'm gonna keep him in line, with my horsewhip"
ERNIE
"and I just want you to know that even when you flirt with me constantly and bug the crap out of me, I still think you're a great friend"Lisa said
"thanks, sweets"Ernie said not being able to control the tears "I'm sorry"
"I'm gonna miss you"
"so am I darling"Ernie said sadly "I have to go, I can't do this anymore all this room si turnin into an ocean"he went to the door
"oh and Lisa"Ernie said before leaving the room
"yeah?"
"I was always on your side"Ernie said and Lisa grinned
"sure you were"
JESS
"hey"Jess said entering the room "my turn finally"
"yeah"Lisa whispered
"you're gonna do great"Jess said
"I know"Lisa smirked, the truth was she didn't know a thing
"I don't know how I'm gonna leave this place, it's been my home for so long"Lisa sighed
"I know, how are we gonna make it"Jess said
"you will"
"I hope"
Jess walked to her and did something incredibly unbelievable, he hugged her tight
"I'll always care Lisa, I'm always here"the last words were the same Luke had told him, those made him feel so comfortable and safe at the time
"I'm always there for you too"
Jess kissed her forehead, again so nor Jess Mariano
"we're gonna miss you"he said"I'm gonna miss you...lots"
"such a softie"Lisa patted him on the shoulder
"shut up"Jess muttered
"I'm gonna miss you too"Lisa said "I hope that you and Rory will find eachother again, I really do"
"thanks"
Jess Mariano and Lisa Grant stood inside her former bedroom, looking at the place and remembering, all night just remembering
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What if? Some unused plotlines:
Rory falling for her boss
Lisa and Ernie hooking-up after a drunk night
Ernie feeling angry at Jess for making Lisa miserable and spoiling his relationship with Rory
Ernie being gay
Ernie leaving Mackenzie after finding out she was a prostitute and lately spoiling Jess's relationship with Rory
Ernie kissing Rory trying to help her out with Jess
Mackenzie hitting on Jess
Logan trying to win Rory back
Jess and Rory ending up separated
A trip with the four main characters
Lisa coming back with a new boyfriend
Lisa's lastname was McGraw and Ernie's,well Ernie wasn't contemplated at the time
I must confess my "inspiration" for this fic was vaguelygouded's Holding Hearts
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And that's finally it!