A/N: Sorry about the slight delay…only two more weeks of exams, and then summer!
Of Cowards and HeroesChapter 7
Hamilton, Canada, 1996
"James?"
Cursing under his breath, James quickly stuck his finger in his mouth, wincing at the pain from hitting it with the hammer lying forgotten on the floor before him.
"Mmm?" he answered, but Adéla had already appeared at the doorway to the small former study.
"Hey, did you pick up those…uh..." she paused, noting the pained look on her husband's face.
"Hammer slipped." James explained, looking so petulant that she laughed as she went to him, slipping her arms around his waist.
"Of course it did," she teased, enjoying the embarrassed look on his face. "They're just so darn tricky, those hammers."
James scowled at her, and she laughed again, hugging him tightly.
"Sorry," she grinned up at him, and he felt his irritation begin to fade. He was about to grumble some more, though, when he suddenly felt movement against his lower stomach, accompanied by a slight "oomph!" from Adéla.
"Ooh, I'm telling you, I cannot wait for you to be out and doing that in your own bed!" she exclaimed, pulling away from James and caressing her belly. "Then you won't be keeping me up at night anymore!"
James looked at the crib he'd been working on, running a hand across its partially finished structure. "Well, this'll be finished in no time. Then our little Jamesina…"
"I told you, James, we are not going to name our daughter Jamesina! Of all the ridiculous things to call a little baby, I mean, honestly!"
James grinned inwardly, knowing that it was every bit as ridiculous an idea as she said. He'd taken to calling her that from the moment he knew it was a girl, despite the fact that he had absolutely no intentions of naming her that. If she were anything like her mother, though, he'd have fun teasing her with the name. Outwardly he looked hurt, putting on that slightly closed off expression he wore when he was genuinely upset.
"Déla," he said quietly. "I know it might sound a little…old-fashioned…" Adéla snorted, bending down to inspect the half-finished crib. "But that's because it is old; it was my grandmother's name, and my mum and dad named me after her."
Adéla stopped short, standing up quickly and stared at him in absolute horror for a moment before looking apologetic. "Oh," she said, her voice very small. "Oh, right…oh, James, I'm sorry…I didn't even…" her expression suddenly became very suspicious.
"Ugh!" she exclaimed, throwing up her arms in utter disgust before walking away quickly. "I should've known better than to listen to your usual nonsense!"
James grinned after her. "Well, she was Elizabeth Jamesina Potter…it's true, honestly!"
'And she bloody well hated the name,' he thought, chuckling to himself at the annoyed "Hmpfh!" that came from the hallway.
Still smiling, he turned back to his work, bending down to pick up the hammer before realizing that he'd rather take a break.
"Seriously, though," he continued, once he'd found her inside their bathroom. "What do you think about names? We haven't really thought of any yet."
"Besides Jamesina?" Adéla muttered dryly. "No, actually." She sat down on the edge of the bathtub, eyeing him curiously. "Any ideas?"
James stared blankly at her. "Don't ask me," he groaned. "I'm horrible at this. With Harry, I couldn't decide on anything…not until a week before he was born."
Adéla smiled wryly. "Well, let's see, then…I'm more into, well, traditional names,"
"I'm with you there," James nodded. "Let's just stick to something nice and easy. I don't want any little brats teasing my daughter about a name she had no say in."
"Well, your grandmother's name…Elizabeth – I like that."
"Mmm…"
"Natasha?"
"Nah…."
"Hannah?"
"Hmm, you know, that's an idea…" James brightened slightly.
"Alright, there's a start," Adéla began, but James's face suddenly fell.
"No, Hannah won't work. Dated a girl called Hannah once, and…"
Adéla raised an eyebrow. "Didn't go so well? Alright, then, how about Allison? You know, I really like that. Allison…Allison Potter."
James shook his head slowly. "Not quite right. Hang on, I think I've got one; how does Rebecca sound? Hear it out…Rebecca Potter."
"Oh, yeah, that is nice," Adéla agreed, but her mind was clearly elsewhere. "Yeah, that reminds me of that girl from work…Rebecca-Julie, her name is."
"You want to hyphenate?"
"Hmm? Oh, no, no…it just…that's a name I've always liked, James. Not Julie, Juliana. Juliana Potter sounds really nice…at least, I think it does."
James found himself staring at her, unable to tear his gaze away as his heart thumped rapidly in his chest. Why on earth was he reacting like this? There was no way that Adéla would know anything about his aunt…why was he so afraid of her knowing? 'It's just a name she liked,' he told himself. 'And Aunt Jules is just a person…there's no reason to be ridiculous.'
"Er…" he stammered, before clearing his throat and forcing a chuckle. "Déla, I thought you said you wanted something uncomplicated."
Adéla looked curiously at him, but, much to James's relief, obviously decided to drop the subject.
"Fine…not that, then. Kimberly?"
Adéla continued to throw out suggestions, soon dragging him out to the bookstore to pick up a book on baby names, but James's mind had left the endeavour, completely focused on calming himself down after the moment of raw panic he'd had when Adéla mentioned Juliana. Even as they sat at a small outdoor restaurant, Adéla poring over the books they'd purchased, he found his head swiveling from side to side, surveying the street for anything that looked even remotely suspicious. It didn't take long for Adéla to pick up on his unease, her smile at having found the name 'Lauren' disappearing quickly.
"James?" she asked. "Uh…did you want to head home?"
He smiled gratefully at her, nodding, and they left, Adéla trying to find names that went nicely with Lauren and Rebecca along the way. Even when they got home, though, James found that his impression of unease had only intensified.
Adéla disappeared with the books almost as soon as they were in the door, and James stumbled up to the study – no, the baby's room, he corrected himself, and collapsed into the lone easy-chair, staring hard out the window as if the sky held the answer to all of life's problems. But try as he might, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was failing again, failing again to look after the people closest to him. He couldn't fail again…he couldn't run again.
"I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered.
Little Hangleton, England, 1996
"Nott! Augustus!"
The two men turned around slowly, Nott, who had removed his mask, grinning at the smaller man.
"Still alive, Wormtail?" he jeered, much to the amusement of Rookwood, who had audibly growled at Peter's usage of his given name. Peter bit his tongue, swallowing his pride instead, wincing through the after-effects of Voldemort's Crucio's and straightening his shoulders.
'Later,' he thought. 'Later, it won't be like this.'
"I'm alive. In fact…" he paused, making sure that the two men were still, at the least, paying him some attention. "In fact, a certain 'other person' is also alive…and I think that you might be interested to know just who…given how close you two were to Rosier."
It was as if he had whipped them; their heads snapped around to look at him, Rookwood, slowly taking off his mask to stare at the younger man. "Stephen Potter is dead." He spat. "They're all dead; at least, soon, they'll all be."
Peter nodded sagely. "Yes, that is true."
Nott laughed then, roughly, and turned to go. "If that's all you've got, Wormtail, then I'll just be on my way."
Peter panicked momentarily; he needed Nott for this. With the Dark Lord being rather displeased with him, he couldn't pull this off; at least, not on his own. "Nott!" he called again, pleased when the man slowed. "Technically…there is one other Potter who yet lives. Although…she-"
"She?"
Peter smiled. It had been over twenty years, yes, but Juliana Malfoy would still be a veritable wellspring of information. And then…things would be looking a lot better for Peter Pettigrew.
England, December 1981
The young woman banged frantically on the door, stamping her foot in frustration as she waited for it to be answered.
"Rem!" she called. "Look, I know you're there, and I know you're avoiding me, but we have to talk now!"
No one answered her; that is, it was only the little old lady in the flat across the hall that flew out, brandishing a rolled up newspaper and attempting to give the petite brunette a good beating.
"You people, always coming and going! Have you no – respect – for – the – well – being – of – others!"
"No, Mrs. Heatherton, no…I just need to see Remus, that's all, please, it's really important…"
The irate old woman, however, was having none of it, and continued to beat away with her evening edition of the Times until a pair of strong arms pulled the struggling young woman away from Mrs. Heatherton, dragging her into a dirty, rather dingy flat.
"Remus!" she began, but he had abruptly pulled away from her and put down the bag he'd been carrying.
"You were making a scene, Cassandra."
She stared incredulously at him. "I was making a scene? I was making a scene! What about-" she stopped short, having finally taken a good look at his decrepit appearance as well as his filthy surroundings. "Oh, Remus…" she whispered.
"Was there a reason for you banging down my door, Cass?" Remus asked, his voice tired. "I'd rather be alone right now, Cassandra…I thought you understood that."
"It's about Sirius, Remus…" she began, but never got any further, instead very quickly finding herself outside his flat despite her protests. Mentally kicking herself, she made her way down the stairs out to the back of the building. She should have known better than to bring up Sirius around Remus, not so soon after everything.
'But you had to,' she told herself, rounding a corner and checking to see that no one was looking. 'You had to…Sirius is innocent! I have to tell someone.' Finding that she was alone, she grasped her wand and prepared to apparate. 'Dumbledore,' she thought suddenly. 'I can go to Dumbledore.'
Setting her jaw, she was about to apparate to Hogsmeade and head to Hogwarts when she stopped short. 'But he's not at Hogwarts right now…'
Racking her brains as to where the headmaster would be and failing, she shook her head and apparated home. 'I'll just have to…'
And then Cassandra's world went green for a moment, before fading permanently to black.
"Well that's taken care of." The man sniggered.
"Quite. The little bint gave me a turn when I realized she'd listened in on that little conversation." His companion commented, before turning back towards her body. "You don't think she managed to tell anyone, do you?"
"No," the first drawled. "Did you not see how worried she looked? No, I wager she was about to go off running to that half-breed lover of hers. Pity she was unsuccessful."
"Such a shame."
And then they disappeared into thin air, leaving Cassandra's body sprawled on the floor of her living room, a look of momentary panic across her normally pretty features. The next morning, Remus Lupin never got out of bed, tears flowing silently down his face and falling onto his new edition of the Daily Prophet.
Young Woman Found Dead In Her Home!
A/N: there it is! I actually didn't like this chapter as much…mind you, that may have to do with the fact that I am currently music-less at the moment (my stereo broke) and as such I was unable to listen the song I usually do when I write this. Thanks to all my reviewers from the last chapter…aha, you agreed with me about James! Well, he'll be improving…I guarantee that that was him at rock bottom.
Froboy: Yes, James is definitely an idiot. He's also human, hence his less than desirable response the stresses imposed by Voldemort's first rise. I'm really glad you liked it, though!
tweeny-weeny: I'm glad I answered your other question. As for James's possible return…well, yes, it would most definitely crush Harry. He's already very disillusioned with his father, and as he finds out more and more…well, let's just say that if James suddenly shows up at Privet Drive, Harry may just get to the point were he wishes that James had just stayed dead.
megaroony: I'm really glad you like it! (and I hope you keep on reading…I may have gone for the confusing route again in this chapter…lemme know if I've lost you!) p.s. thanks for the stars! All…3,467,982,610 of them! P
Silver Angel 7: Yeah…Harry forgiving James? Oh, that's a funny one. Mind you…who knows what'll happen? Oh wait, I do! (lol) And I know James is being awful…which is surprisingly easy to write, actually. You'd think it'd be easier to make him the heroic dad, but from what we've seen of him in the fifth book, he's definitely not all good all the time.
pinkraindrop21: hmm, how James survived the killing curse…to answer your question; another question! Did the killing curse actually hit James? I'm really glad you like it; I'll address all those issues soon, I promise!
Cherrysinger: I know I've said it before….but I love your reviews! No, no one knows that James is alive besides Adéla and Juliana. James knows about Adéla's family heritage…that particular scene (I'm glad you reminded me about it; I have other reasons for wanting to put that in the story!) will be coming soon. I'm so glad I confused you less! Although, I may have done it some more with this chapter…man, skipping through time is hard to write!
Lovin'Moony: ah, you and Mrs. Heatherton could start a club with your newspapers…guess where I got the idea from; thanks, by the way! James only lost it because of all the stress; I don't see him as a person who would normally take such personal opinions to the extreme like that. He's getting better! (ducks rolled papers) I promise!
Eve: whoa, loaded question: does James love Adéla more than Lily? I don't know right now, but if you check my bio page there will be a link to my msn 'space' where you're more than welcome to start a discussion about that…it's not something that I've spent too much time thinking about yet, although you're right: I do intend to address it at some point in the future.
Nineida: ah, you make me laugh…yes, In fact, I'm not just suggesting that they had marital problems; I'm outright telling you! However, their problems are due mostly to stress…other than that I think that they'd be more like any other normal couple. And as for Sirius, interestingly enough, Sirius is not key to the story (I'd hadn't thought of that before!) and so whether or not he's 'dead' or 'alive' is really up to all of the readers.
Swordsmistress: cookies! Well, wait no longer, here is the next chapter! I'm glad you still like it…keep on reading; it's going to get better!
So, once more, everyone, thanks so much for all your reviews…I love your responses; in fact, you're all asking such good questions that I've started up an msn 'space' called Laren's place (creative, I know) where I'll be keeping a semi-blog about this story, and you are all more than welcome to post any thoughts, questions, etc, so that you don't have to wait for ages for me to respond (but don't stop reviewing, though! Reviews keep me going!) The link will be on my ffnet bio, so feel free to check it out! - Laren