Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, anything else belongs to me.

Authors note: Ok, so here it is. I'm off school for summer vacation now so I can update quicker. This chapter is a bit dark if you ask me, but I wanted to get through to the readers what everybody feels, and I think this just about sums it up. I'll try to make the next chapter a bit more light though, happy reading!

Chapter 8: Letters

Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
there's still time to change the road you're on…

He was family.

He was one of them.

He was hurt.

And it was all because of her.

He was the enemy.

But he was her family…

Blood is thicker than water, right? Then why was she sitting on the side, watching the blood fall?

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She watched her plan unravel. She saw the guilt in the girl's eyes as the boy was tortured. She saw her flinch at every pain–filled scream. At every cry for help it was there, the regret, the remorse.

The green eyes flickered between the flash of lights to the boys bloody face. She saw the need to help him in her expression…she saw it only too well.

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It was dark when he awoke. His eyes stung and his mouth was parched. He tried to look where he was but he couldn't see anything. It was cold, and every part of his body hurt.

He was upright, that was for sure, and his arms were strung up by large metal manacles. He tried to move into a more comfortable position but it was no good, he was chained up, and it hurt too much.

His lungs were tight, making it hard to breathe. It was too much of an effort to even try to open his bleeding lips to cry for help. He tried to remember what had happened but most of it was a blur.

He could just remember a room, full of people…and someone he knew…but who he didn't know…they had laughed at him, and thrown things…then there was a jet of light…someone's stern voice ordering something…a gasp…and green eyes…familiar green eyes…he had screamed, a lot…and pain, so much pain…he had cried for help, but no one had come…and he knew no more.

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She watched him from the corner. sitting, cradling her knees closely, she watched as he hung unconscious on the wall.

"JAMES!" she shouted loudly, causing the whole family to stare at the battle about to break out. Lilly headed towards him, breaking into a run with her hands clenched beside her.

Pop! Suddenly James disappeared, leaving Lilly stunned at thin air. She heard a snigger from behind her and spun round only to find James leaning on the wall, looking amused.

"Yes, cousin?" he grinned.

Cousin… would a cousin do this to him?

"You know James, you could just help everyone out and use your wand to clean up this mess." Said Lilly, clearly annoyed with him. "And you Rowan." The two boys exchanged looks and smirked.

"Oh, we could, little cousin of mine. But…I'd rather not help you."

A single tear protruded from her emerald eye, trickling its way down her pale cheek and finally, falling to the hard stone floor. One after the other more tears began to fall. She let out a small sob, but soon covered her mouth with her hand, so no one could hear her.

She was sorry. If only he knew that. She was sorry for everything. She was sorry…so, so sorry.

Shush, my flower,

Don't you speak.

Close your eyes

And go to sleep

The stars will watch,

And keep you near,

While you close your eyes,

To stop the fear

Listen to my lullaby,

And sleep into the night

I'll always protect you,

For you I'll always fight…

The lullaby…her lullaby was the only thing keeping her going. Just remembering it reminded her of all his broken promises…but for what?

She had joined the other side to gain revenge. But all she could see now was pain, and regret. She couldn't turn back now, not after what she had done, and anyway they had probably forgotten about her by now…

"Who's there?" called a hoarse voice from within the cell. She gasped and looked up. James was awake but he was still, probably too hurt to move.

She backed up against the wall and pulled herself up. Wiping her tears with her sleeve she quietly headed towards the door on the other side of the chamber. She reached out for the handle but suddenly stopped.

She turned slowly and carefully walked up to James. She stood by his side just looking at him.

"Who are you?" He asked quietly. She did not answer, but instead she lifted the hood of her robe away from her face. He still didn't recognise her.

"It's me," she whispered, and touched his cheek with her pale slender hands. He took in a sharp jagged breath and flinched, making her pull away.

"It's me…Lilly." She repeated softly. Their stare met and his eyes flashed in recognition.

"No!"

"I'm sorry…" she began

"Get out." He commanded, in a steady voice.

"James," but she didn't finish. One look at his face and she knew it was time to go. Lifting her hood up again she slowly paced her way across the room towards the door. With a last look at her cousin she unbolted the door and opened it, stepping out into the torch lit hall of the Death Eater's Dungeon.

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Hermione sat at the table alone. With her head in her hands tears fell down her face. They had done everything, searched everywhere, but the only explanation for James' disappearance was simple; Death Eaters.

All her life she had relied on books for the answers. A problem had always been solved with the library. But with some things, books could not answer, or even explain. For instance a mother's love is indescribable. But a mother's pain for a lost one is even more so.

The others were out searching for him, but she knew he wasn't going to be found. He was with the Death Eaters, and when they didn't want something to be found, there was no point looking for it.

------

Ginny bent over her kitchen sink with a piece of parchment in her hand. Tears trickled down her face as she read the letter she held.

Dear Mother,

You don't know how hard it is for me to write this letter, or how many times I have had to rewrite it.

The last few months, I think it is safe to say, have put us all under a great deal of pain. At the beginning of the Holidays I thought I had my life thought over. But then with father's return it made my head jumble up. I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore, and I think that is where all this began.

I would like to tell you what really happened to me after my argument with father. That day, when I stormed out of the hospital, I walked to Knockturn alley. I wasn't really thinking I was so upset and angry. Before I knew it I was being beaten up, by these people. They called me names and kicked me until I bled. They took me to a building, where they asked me lots of questions. They asked where my father was, but I didn't tell them because I knew they were going to hurt him more. I just wanted you to know, that after all he did, I still protected him.

From that day on, Bellatrix Lestrange trained me. I know it may sound weird but she protected me in a way. The Death Eaters took me in, and made a home for me.

Everything was going well for me. That was until today at least and now everything has changed.

Draco Malfoy brought in a new prisoner, who they had purposely arranged to capture while everyone was fighting in Diagon Alley the other day. You fell for the trap, and with your own stupidity caused us to capture him; James is at our mercy now, and its all Harry's fault.

I visited him today, in his cell. He couldn't even look at me. It hurt me, a lot, and I now know that I am being immoral; he caused me to see the truth.

I don't blame you, mum. You of all people I don't blame. I blame famous Harry Potter. He was the one that caused all this, and I can't forgive him.

I know that I have done wrong, and I am truly sorry for it. I regret leaving you, and I regret writing this letter. But know, that I do love you mum, and I always will. I'm sorry if I've hurt you, and for the future I apologize in advanced. But I can't turn back now, I owe too much to them.

I can only promise you one thing. I will try to keep James safe for as long as I can. I know they have a plan for him, but I don't know what.

Sorry,

Lilly