Scars: Chapter 3

Confessions

"You all think you know so much about me, when you really don't know a fucken thing. You're all so quick to judge me by saying 'oh, he's obsessed, he's crazy'. Well I'm NOT. Now, you all look at me skeptically ever since that whole Slade incident. When you guys weren't there. You don't know what I've been though! And the thing is, when I'm pissed off, nobody leaves me alone, but when I actually need someone to talk to, everyone acts like I don't exist. Isn't it ironic?"

Robin clenched his fists and continued.

"And even though I'm your leader, I don't get full respect from any of you, off the battlefield. Some of you even try to stay as far away from me as possible during the day. I feel like you-..." he stopped himself and furrowed his brow again and looked at the floor quickly, in thought.

Starfire was confused. But most of it was true,...but about that last part...

"What about me, Robin?" she asked quietly.

Robin looked up and even he looked confused at the moment. And thought a little before he continued.

"Y-you seem to be the only one that wants to talk to me, that wants to be near me, and I can't help...but to feel the same way."

He softened. And Starfire looked at him wide-eyed.

"When I talk to you...I feel...more, open. And you're the only one who seems to...want me around. And I love talking to you, because you seem like...you understand me. And I know I haven't told you much about me, and I already know a lot about you...I'm sorry for that, but..."

He paused, and his masked eyes looked almost sad.

"I really don't tell you anything...but it's only for your own safety Star. The team has enough problems, and I don't want to burden them with my own. You think I don't care for the team, for you,...but I do, I really do, more than you could ever imagine. And the truth is...aw hell, dammit, I love you Star." He said softly. Star's eyes were wider than ever.

"That's right, I love you. I've always loved you Star. I always thought it was just a crush...but lately I've realized that it's something more, much more. I've realized, that through blinded eyes, I've always let you down, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I did to you, everything I put you through. And I just don't want you to get hurt. Knowing my secrets could put you in danger, Star. If you ever got hurt, and because of one of my stupid mistakes, I don't know what I'd do."

"And, I know I'm not supposed to love you, it's not supposed to happen. But I can't help it. I love you with all my heart. I would do anything, anything at all, to see you smile. I would give the sun and the moon to make you happy." he paused and smiled the faintest smile.

"And seeing you not happy, crushes me. And I am mostly the cause of your unhappiness. That's why I think that...we can't be together. That, and I will only bring you down, Star. Me and my stupid issues. It would never work." he frowned again and looked down at her.

They were now facing each other, Starfire's mouth wide open, her eyes slightly teary. And now she was helplessly silent. Robin's eyes looked confused and sad. But he continued sternly.

"There's things about me that no one should ever know, that no one could ever understand. And it hurts me that I can't tell you, Star. It really does. But it will only hurt you. So will you please just back the fuck off before you find yourself under something you didn't bargain for." he finished remorsefully. But he had said the last part so softly, she almost didn't hear him.

Robin was looking down, but then just turned and walked back to the edge of the roof top. Starfire just stood there, dumbfounded. What he said was like a love letter but at the same time, it had the equality of verbally dismissing her.

She didn't know if it was from sudden urge or not, but something pulled her to walk across that roof top and put a hand on Robin's shoulder to his tensing body, turn him around, and kiss him. But before she kissed him she whispered: "I love you too."

The logical part of her brain was yelling at her to stop because she was now kissing her leader dead on the mouth. But the other part of her brain was singing a chorus. And when he actually kissed back, that part rejoiced. And he did kiss back, after going rigid in surprise and shock, and his eyes got back to normal size.

Her arms found their way around his neck and his hands found their way to her hips. Strong hands that are used to the steel material of a bo-staff, but being oh so careful with her soft skin. His mouth molded against her's as he soon dominated the long awaited kiss, and she gladly relinquished control.

When the kiss ended, they were both out of breath. Starfire was on cloud nine, but Robin seemed to be on a whole different cloud because he looked scared.

"No. This-this can't happen, it's too dangerous." he said as backed away from her. Then he started whispering, but not to anyone in particular, but kind of to himself.

"No, not again. I don't want to lose anyone again. But I love her, and I can protect her now, not like them...but still, do I really want to take that chance?" he asked himself, looking down at his hands.

Starfire was reluctant to believe that he was indeed talking about her. And answered his question aloud.

"You're not taking that chance, I am." she answered and he looked up at her.

He then walked towards her and she walked towards him, she spoke.

"We can make this work." she whispered. "You just have to trust me." she put out her hand, and he took it.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you." he whispered and kissed her on the lips swiftly and thankfully. And she kissed back willingly. But when she broke the kiss, he pulled back and looked at her in confusion.

"You still have things to share, Robin."