Ellie laid sleeping peacefully on her couch with white gauze bandages wrapped around her forearm covering the wounds she'd made just a few hours before. On top of her chest laid an open journal that rose and fell with every breath she took. Inside was a recent entry she made just before she fell asleep. She wrote about the wonderful high that cutting brought to her and how she didn't want to cut but she doesn't regret doing it. She also wrote about how she was tired of being depressed and hurt all the time. She was going to have to change and starting tomorrow she was putting a new outlook on her life no matter how far down she had to push all the anger and sadness.

The next morning Ellie awoke hesitantly and got ready for school. Her arm ached as she rewrapped her cuts with a new blood free bandage. Once they were covered she put on black gloves that laced up to elbow making sure nothing was visible.

She arrived at school with almost perfect timing. Just as she made it to the steps she saw Jay pull into the parking lot with his music blaring and tires screeching. She hadn't talked to him since he'd dropped her off at her house after Sean left. She waited for him to approach the school then casually callout out his name with a half smile.

"Wait up!" She yelled as she caught up with him as he proceeded through the doors of their school.

Jay stopped and turned around finding Ellie standing in front of him with a shorter than normal black skirt, a couple studded belts, laced up combat boots, and fishnets underneath. "Hey El, do you need something?"

"No I just thought I'd say hi, see what's up, that sort of thing."

"You've never been the first to say hi to me in fact the only time we really talked was when you were with Sean. So forgive me when I don't believe that you just wanted to say hi." Jay said and turned back around and started walking away.

"Wait! Jay, actually I wanted to see if you'd like to hang out sometime. Maybe party or something." Ellie said following close beside him.

"Partying with the girl of gloom doesn't seem like much fun… but thanks."

"What if I said I wanted to have some adulterated fun and you were the first person that I could think of… Come on, trust me, my gloomy days are over. I'm ready to be let loose."

"Meet me at my car after school." Jay said as he walked into his classroom leaving Ellie smiling in the doorway.

Ellie made her way to her first class by the time she got there the bell had long passed and the teacher was anything but thrilled. "Miss. Nash, late again I see. Have a seat. Next time it will be a detention." Mrs. Kelly, the newer science teacher announced when Ellie walked in.

Ellie took a seat in the back row behind Hazel and next to Craig. "Hey Ellie." Craig said passing her the notes she missed.

"Hi." Ellie answered back taking the notes and briefly copied them down. "How's the band?" She whispered handing the notes back to Craig.

"Ellie!" Mrs. Kelly said throwing her a stern look for talking during her lecture.

"Sorry." Ellie responded back.

Craig took out a piece of paper wrote a couple lines and passed it to Ellie. She opened it up quietly and read Things are going okay…With all the drama in the school we've just starting practicing again. We're a little rusty. Maybe you could stop by and I could play you a couple songs.  Ellie took her pen and wrote back a little below Craig's note That would be cool…I'll give you a call sometime soon and we'll set something up. She passed the note back to him and he answered her with a little nod and a smile.

Finally the school bell rang and once again Ellie was the first one out of class. She waited by Jays car for a few seconds then she finally saw him coming across the parking lot.

"Get in." Jay commanded as he went to the driver side and got in. Ellie did what she was told. She knew if she was going to hang with Jay she was going to have to go by his rules.

"Where we goin?" Ellie asked once she was buckled and they were out of the school parking lot.

"Let me worry about that." Jay answered "So have you talked to Sean lately?" Jay asked a couple minutes later.

"Yeah I talked to him yesterday. He's doin good." Ellie answered kind of annoyed with the topic. "But I don't want to talk about him."

"Are you still upset he left you?" Jay asked in a mocking tone.

"No…but I don't think talking about Sean is really that fun." She sarcastically answered back.

"Fine." Jay answered and pulled into a club parking lot "We're here anyways."

"We're going to Club Ecstasy? It's still daylight! And I'm underage" Ellie exclaimed confused.

"Don't worry little girl I know the owner and the best time to come here is during the day. That's when all the good shit goes on before the party starts later. Just follow me and try to be cool."

Ellie of course again did what she was told to do and followed closely behind Jay. A few minutes later they were past a security guard and inside the closed club.

Once Ellie's eyes adjusted to the light she scanned the room. The place wasn't packed but there were people dancing, drinking, and smoking everywhere. "What is this?" Ellie asked above all the music.

"My friend's brother owns this place so during the day he opens it up for close friends." Jay responded going up to the bar. "You got money right? It's $15.00 all you can drink."

Ellie reached into her back pocket and pulled out a ten and a five and handed it to the bartender. "Hey Josh." Jay said greeting the bartender.

"Hey Jay. What's been up man?"

"Same old shit."

"Know what you mean. So who's the woman?" Josh asked nodding toward Ellie.

"Ellie. I go to school with her. She's cool."

"Hello Ellie. Get you something to drink?" Josh asked looking Ellie up and down.

Ellie typically didn't drink much but figured what the hell. "Surprise me…Gimme something I'll feel." Ellie answered blushing back at the older man.

"I got just the drink. And how about for you man?" Josh asked Jay.

"Just get me a Corona."

The bartender handed them the drinks and smiled towards Ellie. "That one is called an adios muthafucka." He told her as she took the glass and downed over half the glass. "Whoa girl slow down that will fuck your shit up real quick if you keep drinking it like that."

"Well that's my plan. I'm here to have fun and get messed up!" Ellie replied then downed the rest of her drink. "So who wants to dance?" She could already feel the drink rushing through her body.

"Not me." Jay said taking a seat at the bar and sipping his beer.

"Your loss dude." Josh said coming around to the front of the bar.

He led Ellie out to the dance floor where the lights flashed and the music pulsed through their bodies. After only a few minutes sweat covered Ellie's body as her and Josh rubbed up against each other rhythmically. Ellie finally felt free of all her pain. She was in a world of no worries. She finally understood why her mom always drank. She felt complete ecstasy.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys…Hope you guys enjoy where I go with the story…