Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the show.

Just a waring, rape and violence mentioned in this chapter. Viewer discretion is advised.

Scars: Chapter 5

Scarred

"What happened to you while you were Slade's apprentice?" she asked softly. He narrowed his eyes at the villain's name and he involuntarily shuddered at a crude memory of his time spent with Slade. This triggered a raw nerve in Robin, but he tried not to loose it again. Not after they had just confessed their love to one another. Robin let out a breath he realized that he had been holding.

"I really don't want to talk about that right now." Robin answered sourly.

"Robin, now is the time to share. You already told me about your parents and I want no secrets between us. You already know everything about me." She looked up at him. Robin looked like he was having an inner battle. A small part of him wanted to tell Starfire all about what happened. But the bigger half of him really did not want her to know about that particular subject.

Starfire turned and faced him. She cupped his head in her hands, looked into his eyes, and spoke.

"I know all this is hard for you, telling me all of your darkest secrets all at one time, but you have to trust me. All of this is very important for you to tell me. I know something happened to you there, because after that, you were never the same. And your hatred towards Slade grew." She noticed his expression, he looked very uncomfortable and very uncertain. So she tried a softer tone.

"You know you can tell me anything and I won't tell anyone. Please tell me, Robin. It will make both of us feel better." she finished.

All of the sudden Robin was all nervous again. And he didn't like it one bit. But what could he do now? He backed himself into a corner. How could he turn back now? He had already started spilling secrets to her, he couldn't stop now. She didn't want any secrets between them, and neither did he, but it was just...hard.

"I-I don't know Star. These things,..you might not even want to know." he tried to reason through squinted eyes. But she wouldn't budge.

"You have to tell me Robin, it's now or never."

"It's...complicated." Robin started, fiddling with his hands. He wanted to be somewhere else at the moment. He hated this secret. But it meant so much to just tell her...he needed to tell her, now. He hesitated, then sighed heavily.

"When I, was Slade's apprentice,..." he paused and looked angry and upset.

"He...beat me,...continually, and forced me to learn new fighting styles. But, he...also did,... more." He shuddered. Starfire could tell that this was very hard for him to admit. Because he was having a very hard time coming out with it.

"Slade,...ruined me in a way that no one ever could." He placed his head in his clasped hands. "He...he raped me, Star." he whispered hurtfully, gritting his teeth, trying to prevent tears from escaping. This was all so painful.

All of the sudden he remembered all the hurt, all the pain, all the lost dignity. He relived it all over again. He looked away to the side, his head in his hands. He couldn't look at her, he couldn't even think straight. His mind was in hell all over again. Slade definitely did more to him than what it seemed. He wrecked the poor, broken hero.

Starfire couldn't believe it at all. At first she didn't. She refused to admit that Slade would sink that low. She tried to look at Robin. Robin was breathing heavily and shuddering from time to time from gruesome memories.

"No...he didn't, that bastard didn't!" she exclaimed angrily. He quietly nodded his head, so softly Starfire almost didn't see it.

She couldn't believe it. She suddenly got waves of disturbing images flashing in her head of what Slade did to poor Robin, and it was not a pretty picture. Starfire tried to shake the gruesome images out of her head. She just couldn't imagine that anyone could do this to a teenager! He was still just a boy, and to violate him like that! That's horrible! No wonder Robin was always trying to find that bastard and kill him. He fucken deserved it!

"Oh Robin, this is so-so horrible! How could he-, It's not-:sigh:" she sighed. She was very angry. How could she have not noticed this! But she couldn't totally blame herself, Robin hid his pain so well...

Robin was shaking softly. He did not want this to be brought up. He couldn't take this. He was so ashamed of himself to be used like that. To be used as, as Slade's friggen sex toy! His self torment had come to a white hot point, he was shaking uncontrollably and gritting his teeth, hard, and he was going to burst.

"He fucked me." Robin said miserably, his anger rising.

"That damned idiotic bastard fucked me! GODDAMN IT! Shit." Robin screamed, holding his head and shaking. He couldn't take the pressure or the memories too much longer.

"I feel so, so fucken used!" he said looking down sadly. He remembered it all again. Down at the old abandoned steel factory, Slade's lair. How Slade took advantage of him by threatening his friends and overpowering him. He degraded Robin, verbally and physically, and then, Slade, without any disregard, lustfully scarred the young hero. And how, afterwards, he broke down and cried. And how he vowed, that one day, he would kill that bastard.

He remembered it all. It was so horrible, so painful. And the horrific memories clouded his mind. How much can one person take? Can one kid take? Especially if it's only a kid. As much a Robin hates to admit it, he's still kind of a kid. It was true. Too true.

Starfire put her hands on his shoulders and tried to stabilize the traumatized teen. She was coming to tears now. This was so much burden on him. She didn't know what to say to him, how to comfort him. She had never dealt with this sort of thing before. Robin breathed deeply and loudly and a tear escaped his eyes. Any they slowly ran down his face in a surge of shame, sadness, and anger. He hated this. He hated feeling so weak and subjective.

He shook his head hard. He couldn't lose it here. He couldn't lose it right here in front of her. He had to pull himself together, he had to be strong. For himself and for her. This was a huge thing to deal with.

Starfire was still trying to hold him and get all of this information through her brain all at once. While terrible images still flashed through both their heads. But Robin here, was in a self moral crisis.

"I knew it...I knew that bastard did something horrible to you...I could tell,...but I never thought...this..." Starfire whispered. She felt Robin's pain and it was dreadful. But she knew that this wasn't really helping Robin too much. But she didn't know what to say.

Who would?

Robin just shook his head miserably and broke away from her hands.

"I shouldn't have told you." he shook his head again and stood up, still in tears.

"No one was ever supposed to find out and I don't know how you got it out of me, but...you're not supposed to know, because if Slade finds out I told, you'll be in danger. Because of me...I can't let that happen. And...it would be because of me, And..." he looked at her, his mask drooping.

"No one...would want...to be...with a guy who was...fucked by a madman." he said softly and walked away sorrowfully and angrily.

Starfire quickly got up to go follow him.

"Robin, wait!" Starfire yelled as she caught up to him.