AN: OMG, OMG, OMG! I can't believe I got 5 reviews for my last chapter. Thank you all so, so much! Especially Shannon, Chloe (btw, I loved the comment you gave me for Chapter 12. Jude's so lucky to have gotten that chance!), Rachel (you are so lucky to live where you do), Kerilyn, and iheartinstantstar (don't we all?) You guys are the best!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Instant Star or any of the characters. But I wish I did. CTV and Epitome Pictures do (lucky them). But you knew that already.
Chapter 14 - Confessions
"What was that?" I lashed out at Tommy even before he had barely closed the door behind him.
"What was that? Jude, don't tell me you don't see what Speed's trying to do," Tommy scoffed, incredulous at my naivete.
"What? What are you talking about? He was choking, Tommy. It's not like anyone was helping," I said defensively.
"Yeah, sure. Speed choking? It's all an act to make me jealous," Tommy answered.
"Are you on something? Speed knows we're together, so why are you all possessive all of a sudden?" I blurted out, even before I could stop myself.
"He wants what he can't have – you," Tommy told me bluntly. "Don't think I haven't seen all the signs...the glances in your direction, getting the door for you, pulling the chair out for you to sit down, hooking up your guitar and tuning it for you, the pretending to be scared of "evil" clowns, pretending to choke so that you would hold him from behind…"
"You're unbelievable," I said, shaking my head in frustration. "Speed's my bandmate, he's like a brother to me…" I laughed inside, wondering how Tommy came to his conclusion.
"Fine, think whatever you want. Just don't say I didn't warn you…" Tommy said, turning around and heading back out into the dining room.
I thought nothing of it until I stepped out, and Speed stood up to pull my seat out for me. "Here you go, milady," Speed said in a fake British accent.
I glanced at Tommy, who shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows as if to say, "I told you so".
The rest of the meal went on as expected, with Wally and Kyle occasionally poking their forks into their food with not much enthusiasm as I'd usually seen them have at mealtimes before. Sadie ate in silence, and quickly polished her plate off and stood up as if to get away from everyone, especially Kyle. She was about to head toward the kitchen, when Kyle jumped up and said, "Let me help you with those".
"It's OK, Kyle, I got them," Sadie replied, surprised at Kyle's generosity.
"No, I really want to help," Kyle insisted, losing himself in Sadie's gaze.
"Yeah, Sadie, I can help dry 'em, if you want," Wally offered, trying to make himself useful. He didn't want to be stuck in the same room as Speed, Jude, and Tommy. There was enough drama there, and he didn't want to be in the middle of it.
Sadie looked up as it to ask for patience, then looked at both boys. "OK, but be careful. These are antique plates."
The guys high-fived one another while clearing plates off the table.
"Watch the door!" Sadie called out, as they burst through the door into the kitchen. She shook her head, and murmured, "I hope I don't regret this."
I stood up, finally done with my meal, and Tommy and Speed followed suit.
"Let me get that for you," offered Tommy, before Speed could say anything.
"No, Jude, let me," Speed countered.
"Tell you what, Speed, come with me. You can help me wash up, OK?" I asked. I'd had enough of their glaring at one another throughout the whole meal, and it was time to settle it once and for all.
Speed looked triumphantly at Tommy, as Tommy scowled at him and glared.
I gathered plates, utensils, and glasses as Speed (surprise!) held the door open for me. Once I got in the kitchen, I smiled as I saw Sadie standing between Kyle and Wally, ready to catch anything they dropped.
We waited until they were done, and Sadie let out a huge sigh of relief that nothing was broken.
"Speed, can I ask you something?" I wanted to know what he thought of me.
"Anything, Jude," Speed said, taking some plates and utensils from my grasp and setting them down on the counter. He turned to me, and said, "What is it?"
"Speed, I don't know how to ask you this, but…" I gulped, then let it out in a rush. "…do you like me?"
"Sure, all-powerful rock goddess Jude," Speed laughed, and I thought there was nothing more to it. But since I wanted to be sure, I waited until his laughter died down.
"Speed, come on. I need you to be honest with me. Do you?" I couldn't meet his gaze, because I was afraid that his answer was yes.
"Jude," Speed said softly. The tone in his voice was enough to know that Tommy's suspicions were right.
"Speed, you know I'm with Tommy," I began, finally meeting his eyes.
"I know," Speed answered sadly. He looked down, not knowing what to say.
"And you know the #1 rule of all bands everywhere, right?" I prompted, hoping to soften the damage that was already done.
"Never date your female lead singer – It'll break up the band…I know," Speed sighed, then went against his better judgment. "But it's just…Why are you with Tommy? Why can't you be with me?"
"Speed, I—" I didn't know how to answer it, so I decided to tell him how I felt. "You guys are like my brothers. We've been friends for years, and if we take it past that, it'd ruin everything. I mean, if we were to be involved, and it didn't end well, then the band would break up, and it'd be our fault, right?" I tried to make it as rational-sounding as I could, but that didn't have the effect on Speed that I wanted.
"I guess," Speed agreed reluctantly, even though I knew he wasn't completely convinced. "So…"
"Are we cool?" I asked him.
"Cool," Speed said. He paused, then said, "But you didn't answer my other question – Why are you with Tommy? I thought you hated all boybands, and little Tommy Q, however much he wants to deny it, is still as Boyz Attack as he'll ever be."
"It's hard to explain," I said. "Me and him, we just click on so many different levels. He sees the real me, knows exactly where I'm coming from, and where I want to go with my music. Writing a song with him is like…it's like magic, it's like breathing air, it's like me writing songs that will change the world. He's someone I can be myself with, someone who's seen me at my worst, and he's been through it all before, the media, fame, fortune, everything. So who better to work with than someone who knows exactly what I want to say and how to make it good?"
"I get it, Jude, but I'm still gonna have my eye on him. If he tries anything with you, he's a dead man." Speed warned, trying to be my knight in blue jeans and a Tee. "You wanna know a secret?"
"What's that?" I wondered.
"All I can tell you is that it has something to do with Kwest, Tommy, and Portia." Speed nodded conspiratorially.
"Ooh, a secret? I love secrets. Speaking of which, why are you guys here all the time? Don't you have homes of your own?" I wondered.
"Yeah, but we like to jam a lot, and none of our moms wanted to hear amps that loud. The neighbors complained that we were ruining their hearing by playing 'that awful noise you teenagers call music', so we got kicked out." Speed said, a little sheepish.
Then I tried to change the subject, because it seemed as though he was embarrassed that he didn't have a place of his own to stay in. "So, now that dinner's done, want to jam a bit? I've got half a song written in my head, so if you want…" I smiled as I saw the old Speed come back with a grin.
"What are we waiting for?" Speed took my hand and pulled me to the kitchen door.
"What about the dishes?" I asked, knowing Sadie hated cleaning.
"Don't worry, I'm sure Kyle wouldn't mind," Speed smirked, a wicked grin appearing on his face. "Oh Ky-ell (spelled phonetically), Sadie said she needed help with some more dishes. Do you think you can—"
We had just gotten near the door as Kyle flew through it, almost hitting us in his enthusiasm.
"I take that as a yes," Speed laughed, as I joined in.
Tommy was sitting outside, waiting for me, and at the looks on our faces, and at our entwined hands, he scowled even more deeply.
I let go of Speed's hand, walked over to him, and leaned over. "Don't worry, Tommy. Speed's OK with us."
Tommy leaned back, and slowly smiled. "Come here," he said, slowly motioning to his lap.
"Actually, Tommy, I think we'll need your help. We need your advice on this." I pulled him out of his chair, and the three of us walked toward Kwest's studio.
Once we got there, I rummaged through my backpack until I found my notebook, the one I keep all my songs in. It was falling apart at the seams, but I had managed to tape it together, even though it was bulging with extra sheets of paper, which included revisions to songs, new songs that I hadn't finished yet, and ideas that I hadn't gotten to work on yet.
I flipped through my notebook until I found what I was looking for, then shoved it into Tommy's hands. "There, that's the one I wanted you to look at," I said, waiting for Tommy's verdict. "So, what do you think?"
Tommy didn't answer for several moments. Instead, he looked at what I'd written, and he was deep in concentration. Finally, he looked up, and solemnly said, "I think it's a start…" He smiled as I grabbed the notebook out of his hands and whacked him with it.
"What? I spent hours on that getting it perfect, only to have you look it over for like 10 seconds and tell me that 'it's a start? Don't you even think about going there, Quincy" I declared angrily, as Speed and Tommy desperately tried to hold it in, but lost it and started laughing hysterically.
Finally, I gave in and laughed myself, after seeing that Tommy was joking. After we calmed down a bit, he said, "This is good, girl. Really good. Let's see what you got." He motioned for us to start after assuming his position at the soundboard that was set up.
We had barely finished the first verse when Wally burst in, gasping for breath.
"Dude, what's wrong?" Speed stopped and took off his guitar strap.
"The hospital just called. Something's wrong with Kwest," Wally panted.
We all dropped everything, and rushed upstairs. Sadie had been crying, and her eyes were all red and still teary.
"Come on guys," Tommy said. We jumped in two cars and took off.
AN #2: Read and review, please!