Chapter twenty-one: Stuck in Neutral
A soft white light faded in and out, as her consciousness grew weaker. When she finally opened her eyes a bright light surrounded her. Ruthie sat up, her hands were shaking, she could hear voices drifting off but she couldn't tell whose voices they were. Her clothes were drenched in sweat, but the room temperature was cold. Ruthie started to get up but her legs were weak and heavy, they felt as though they were pulling her down. When she finally got up, the room began to change. It grew darker as though she was in a movie theater.
Suddenly, a rectangular portion of the wall began to pull apart from the rest moving out towards her. The portion of the wall start to twitch, as though it was a movie screen, Ruthie watched it carefully she began to see image start to form. On the screen was a little child no more then two. The little girl was sitting in the bathtub, with bubbles floating around her, and every time the child touched the bubbles she would laugh hysterically. The picture began to zoom out revealing the mother whom was washing the little girl. Ruthie's eye's widened it was her own mother. The little girl was her, Ruthie walked closer to the screen, forgetting about her leg, a shot of pain raced up her leg. Ruthie froze where she was continuing to watch the screen, she watched as the picture faded into another scene. With a slightly older child, around five, a little boy was pushing her on the swings.
"Simon" Ruthie cried. A tear forming at the corner of her eye. She stood there watching her memories play before her eyes, playing detective with Simon, Hiding Lucy's diary all around the house, Playing with hooey, smoking cigarettes with Simon, Waiting up for Mary when she promised she bring her home a pizza, going to private school, meeting peter, keeping matt's secret, Going Matt's wedding, Going to Lucy's wedding, All of these happy memories flashed before he. But as time went by the memories of her grew older. Ruthie stood there watching her life, and for the first time in a long time she was happy. As the clip she was watching ended she waited for the next to begin, and the next clip was not a happy one.
The screen opened to her backyard, she lay there tanning, and already Ruthie knew what clip this was.
"No I don't want to see this," she said choking back tears. The clip played out ending with her meeting Tristan, The clips of him lasted forever, until finally they stopped. Ruthie stood there sobbing as she listened for what was next.
"Yea and you don't care about me, so you know what I don't care about you! That's why I kissed Lindsey!" He yelled.
"YOU WHAT!" Ruthie said.
"How could you?" Ruthie yelled. "I never used you maybe at first, but how could you think that! How could she do that?"
"It wasn't her it was me," Tristan yelled. "You think your so bad but your not, your just a good girl covering herself in makeup and acting bad but defying everything she ever stood for. Your fake and you know it!"
"Your right how could I you're a fake who knows if you were ever telling me the truth! I wish I'd never met you!"
"Yeah well the feelings mutual!"
"Well I hope you have a nice life because after tonight I never want to see or hear you again!"
"TRISTAN!"
The clip finished, Ruthie screamed. "STOP! Stop it!"
"Didn't I tell you to go home?" Tristan said walking up behind her.
"Why are you back?" Ruthie asked. "Was this your doing?"
"No that was your life, your mistakes, your problems." Tristan said. "That's what you had…"
"What do you mean had?" Ruthie asked.
"Your dead Ruthie, or at least your dying. I told you to go back to your family and now you may never get the chance."
"What!" Ruthie began to panic. But I didn't mean to, I don't want to die!"
"Well, you should have thought of that sooner."
"So why are you here then if there's nothing I can do?"
"Because, I'm your guide, I don't particularly want to be your guide, but I'm stuck with it."
"I thought you forgave me?"
"I do but then you blew it."
"I'm sorry!" Ruthie began to cry. "What have I done?"