Author's Note: This is just a little piece I whipped up with a poem I wrote a while ago. I'll leave you all to guess which character I was thinking about while I wrote it. hehe. Maybe if you ask nicely, I'll tell you...or not... Oh, and the implied suicide at the end, is completely up to you. I left it so you can decide whether they did it or not.
I am sitting alone. Just like always. Sitting all alone.
From grace I have fallen
Into the eves of darkness
Everyone around me always ignores me; they think I'm the quiet one, the proud one, the strong one. What ever gave them that idea? None of them have hung out with me. Half of them are afraid of me. Have any of them even fought me? Challenged me? Talked to me? So, here I sit, pondering this as I watch the sun set into the shadows.
Images of shadows cloud my sight
A crystal clear pattern of darkening light
My emotions are always shifting like this. Always changing. Self-pity. Self-loathing. Where did I go wrong? What did I say wrong? What did I do wrong?
Dropping below
Dropping so high
Even though I wish it, I can't crawl from this hole. I can't escape it. I can't find my way from the darkness, the darkness of my emotions. They always seem to haunt me.
Like a bird in a cage
It has no wings to fly
So, in times of my sorrow, I cry. The tears don't come. But inside, yes, inside I am screaming, I am weeping; I want escape from these emotions that have me enslaved like a wild beast.
Broken
Caged
Crying
Mourning
Don't misunderstand. I do want freedom. I do wish that somewhere, sometime, someone will notice me; someone will reach out their hand.
Waiting for a day when it will see a morning
Out of shadows, out of darkness
I want the light back. I want to feel the warmth of kindness, of caring, of love.
Bright light shining down
Caressing the face with but not a sound
So, for the sake of hope, I ignored my true feelings. I let them all believe that I'm fine, that everything is alright. Why shouldn't it be? I do of course have no emotions right?
Smiling
Warming
Hoping
Praying
So what if I drown here? What if I drown in this darkness? What if I can't find hope? Maybe I'm just foolish. Maybe I'm just foolish to believe that anyone will rescue me. Maybe I'll just have to win my battle alone.
Glorious days is all but awaiting
There in the corner of darkness it waits
But why win this battle? What is this? What is this world? Is everything real? Am I real? I can't seem to think anymore. I can't even remember why I wanted to be rescued. Why do I want to be saved?
Have you awakened?
Will you wake from this dream?
It doesn't matter anymore. The world, as they say, is a cruel mistress. I can't seem to find a way. I don't want to save myself. No. This is my way of saving myself. It's the only way right? It's the only way to free myself right? Why am I here? Do I exist for a reason? Doesn't anybody care? Doesn't anybody care where I'm standing? Doesn't anyone care about what I'm about to do? I will only let out one tear when I realize the answer to my final question…I guess not.
I cannot
For strength has all but left me