Srry, about the wait. I know I promised to have this up a lot sooner, but some things just got in the way and for that I apologize. If it makes you feel any better I already been punished. I missed the Emmys and Mariska's acceptance speech which I've been waiting for since forever. Well here's the chapter and I've promised. Enjoy!
SVU Squad room
July 17th
That night Elliot didn't sleep a wink. After coming home from bowling with his kids he showered and tried to sleep, but sleep never came. He tried, but every time he closed his eyes he kept seeing her with that guy, that friend of hers. Kissing her. Touching her in places only he should be touching her. Making love to her the way only he should. It damn near drove him out of his mind. He was glad by the time morning came and his alarm went off. He quickly dressed and headed off to work.
Truth be told, Olivia's "date" went pretty well. It was nice to talk about old times and forget about her problems with Elliot. However, she couldn't forget about Elliot. The entire evening she wished it were Elliot sitting across from her instead of this guy no matter how kind he was. She missed Elliot and knew that she had to make a decision soon or else she might lose him forever.
Olivia walked in to find Elliot sitting at his desk "Odd," she thought, as she typically arrived first.
"How was the date?" Elliot grumbled.
"Fine." Just then Fin and Munch walked into the squad room.
"Hey, I saw you had a date last night." Fin stated.
"Yeah, was that the special guy you've been seeing?" asked Munch.
"No, that was a different guy. How did you know I had a date?"
"We were on surveillance, we saw you two at your fancy restaurant, when we drove by on our way back. You two looked kind of chummy." Munch teased.
Olivia looked over at Elliot and could tell that he was fuming. "No Munch we weren't. He's an old friend of mine." She said in a tone that was meant to shut him up. She knew that she'd spoken harshly, but she also knew that what he was saying was bothering Elliot and as mad at him as she was she still didn't want to hurt him, no matter what they were going through now.
"So, what happened? I thought you two were hitting it off?" Munch continued, ignoring her warning.
"We're just going through a … a rough patch." She said, and shot him a withering look.
Startled, he nodded in agreement and went back to what he was doing. Elliot on the other hand was fuming. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'We are going through a rough patch," He thought. "We aren't doing anything. She is holding our entire relationship in her hands and if I don't do anything she might drop it."
He stood and walked over to her. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, as he grabbed her arm and pulled her up into the crib before she could protest.
"What are you doing? Let go of me!" she said, pulling her arm away from him.
"I don't understand. You said you needed time and I gave it to you. You said you needed space and I gave it to you. Now I find that you're dating some other guy that you say is just a friend, who, according to Munch, isn't. What's going on here?"
"Elliot, you know better than to listen to Munch. You've been working with him longer than I have. Nothing happened. Not even a kiss on the cheek. I just need time to think, okay?"
"No, not okay. Think about what! I love you. You love me. You have been thinking for weeks. What more is there to think about?"
"Things Elliot! Things!" she whispered in harsh voice. "And keep. Your voice. Down."
"Fine. You think. I want a date."
"No."
"You can date some other guy but you can't date me."
"He's a FRIEND Elliot! FRIEND. And you know why I won't go on a date with you."
"No, don't."
"Because if I do, I have to have answers. Answers that I don't have right now."
"Fine. We'll go on a date like the one you just went on last night. No sex. No kissing. Just a friendly date, tomorrow night at 8. We won't even have to talk about us. Just things that are going on, just like old times. When we were just partners."
"Elliot…" she said, wearily.
"Liv, please. I just want to spend some time with you."
Olivia sighed. She knew he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Fine. No kissing, no sex, and no talk about us."
A broad smile covered his face knowing that he had finally won with her. "Good."
"Just a friendly date," she said just to clarify.
"Fine, just a friendly date, but I want you to wear a nice dress. Better than the one you wore last night."
"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow at 8."
"It's a date!" He smiled as he headed back to the squad room. He had achieved his goal.
Benson Residence
July 18th
The next night Olivia was putting on the finishing touches to her makeup, wondering how Elliot had managed to convince her to go on a date with him. She was not excited about this. She knew that he wanted to talk and she still didn't have the answers he needed. She was not looking forward to an evening where he would be badgering and pestering her, trying to get the information he wanted out of her.
She heard a knock on her door and looked over at the clock beside her bed. 8 o'clock. Right on time. She took one last look in the mirror to make sure everything was just right. She wore the new short strapless light gray dress that had been sitting in her closet for weeks and a set of light gray high-heeled sandals to match. She hadn't found the right date to wear it on, but figured this date fit the criteria. It had an split that traveled up and rested high on her thigh, while black embroidery traveled up the other side of her dress. It started with a large black flower then continued up as a vine only stopping when it reached the edge of the dress. She loved the way it hugged her body in all the right places, making it the perfect fit. She hoped it was fancy enough for Elliot, but then again she didn't really care, because she was not changing it.
She heard him knock again and walked out to answer the door She opened it and found Elliot standing there with a dozen red roses in hand, dressed in fine black suit that she had never seen him wear. The suit fit him so well it nearly took her breath away. She stood back and watched him with her head tilted to the side as he eyed her up and down. Starting from her beautifully manicured toes then traveling up her long golden legs to her dress, tracing out her beautiful curves that the dress highlight to luscious lips, which he wanted to kiss so badly, but then remembered their deal, and then finally settling in on her chocolate brown eyes.
"You look beautiful," he finally spoke, handing her the flowers.
"Thank You. You look good too," she replied. She had been eyeing him off at the same time he was eyeing her, noticing the way his slacks hugged his waist just right, and also the way his jacket fell lightly on his shoulders. "I'll go put these in some water," she said turning around and leaving the door open for him to come in. "These are beautiful, thank you." she said as she filled a vase she had found and placed the roses in.
"I noticed your last ones died when I was last here and figured that I could replace them."
"It was a very nice thought." She walked over and set them on a table she had by her door, and turned around to find him holding a sleeping mask in front of her face. "What's that for?" she asked, startled.
"I want tonight to be a surprise."
"I don't like surprises, especially since that little pool incident the last time."
"Well I promise there will be no large bodies of water involved this time."
"There had better not be. If anything happens to this dress tonight, you're going to need your next paycheck to replace it!"
"Duly noted. Now the mask?"
."You know I'm not too comfortable with being blindfolded." She reached for her purse on the table beside the door.
"Do you trust me?" He asked holding his hand out to her.
She hesitated a bit before putting her hand in his. "Yes I trust you, but I swear any water involved and I will be forced to kick your ass." She took the mask from him and slowly tied it around her head
He chuckled. "Also duly noted, and I promise there will be no pools involved unless you want there to be."
"No thank you I plan on staying dry tonight, and this is the last time I blindfold myself for you."
"For the record I didn't blindfold you last time."
"You made me close my eyes."
"Yes, but I didn't blindfold you."
"Whatever." She covered her eyes with the mask and allowed him to gently guide her through the door, both of them smiling.
Rolé's Restaurant
James St., Manhattan
Elliot pulled the car to a stop and carefully took off Olivia's blindfold, which she was glad for. They had been driving for over an hour and Olivia was starting to get annoyed. Elliot got out and walked over to her side of the car and helped her step out of the car. He held out his arm and she linked up with him. They walked over to the restaurant and Olivia's eyes damn near fell out of her head when she saw the name.
Elliot held the door open for her and she stepped in him following behind her. "Reservations for two." Elliot said to the concierge.
"Name?" The concierge asked.
"Stabler."
The man scanned his book to find the name. "Ah ha. Here we are." He made a small check in the book then turned his attention back to Elliot. "Right this way, and welcome to Rolé's. May I ask your preference in whine?"
"I already had one reserved."
"That's right. Our sommelier will be by with it shortly
Elliot put his hand protectively on the small of her back as the concierge ushered them to their table. He tipped the man before helping Olivia into her seat. Pulling back the chair for her, and then sliding it in behind her. Then Elliot went around to his side of the table and took a seat.
"How did you get reservations here? It's nearly impossible. Last guy who tried to take me here was on the waiting list for months. We broke up before he ever got the chance to take me here."
"Good to know. I pulled some strings with an old friend that's a chef and is friends with the chef here."
"Oh."
Another waiter appeared. "The wine you reserved? 1993 Araujo Eisele Cabarnet Sauvignon it's one of the best we have." He poured some for Elliot to taste. He tasted it then slid it over to Olivia, knowing that she had better taste in wine than he did, and wanting her to like it too. She smiled as she took it from him and sampled it
She nodded and then he nodded to the concierge. "Thank you."
The sommelier filled both their glasses and then left the bottle with the pair. "Anything else?"
Elliot looked to Olivia who shook her head 'no' before turning his attention back to the concierge. "No thanks." The concierge left leaving the young almost- couple to themselves.
Olivia was clearly impressed. She had never seen Elliot act this way before. She just had to ask. "Elliot what's all this about?"
"What do you mean?"
"The fancy restaurant. The expensive wine."
"Nothing, Liv. This is just a date. I promise you that is all, and I wanted everything to perfect for you. Is that a crime?" He asked her with a cooked smile.
She had to smile at that. "No," She answered softly for being so apprehensive.
"Then we can move on?"
"And you don't want to talk about us or anything?"
"No. Not unless you want to."
"I don't."
"Okay. So lets just have dinner and enjoy the evening."
Rolé's Restaurant
Dinner had gone well. They talked, they smiled, they joked, they laughed, and they danced, and just had a good time. They forgot about all the stress of work and life, and just enjoyed being with each other like thy used too. Neither of them was ready to go home just as yet so they decided to take a walk in the park across the street.
"Sorry, I didn't know it would be so chilly. I should have told you to bring a coat," Elliot said as he took off the jacket to his suit and hung it over her shoulders. He then put his arm around her and pulled her close to keep her warm.
"'S ok." She rested her head on his shoulder and tried to settle into his embrace, but something just didn't feel right. She stopped suddenly.
"What? What's wrong?"
"I can't do this."
"Do what?"
"This!" She exclaimed gesturing between them. Suddenly his heart rate picked up and he prayed to God that she wasn't ending it at that moment, because he didn't think that he could accept that. "I can't go out and act like everything's ok when we both know it isn't."
He visibly relaxed. "Liv, what are you talking about? It's just a date, just like the one you and your friend went on."
"No, Elliot, it's not, and you and I both know that."
"So what? You wanna talk?"
"Yes… No... I don't know!"
"Look, Liv. I understand that you're still confused, and I'm trying to work with you on that. But you have to help me out here."
"Fine. Let's talk."
"Let's talk."
She sighed. "I know you're frustrated with me and it's understandable. I just need time to think."
"Think, Liv. That's apparently all you've been doing!" He said throwing his hands up in frustration. "Stop thinking and talk to me. Who knows? Maybe I can help you with you're problem."
"No, Eliot, you can't. I have to figure this out by myself."
"Why? Why won't you let me help you?"
"Because I have to make sure this relationship is worth all the possible consequences and responsibilities that comes with it."
"What are you talking about? What consequences? What responsibilities."
She sighed again and spoke softly. "I need to make sure that if this doesn't work. I don't lose everything."
"I'm still confused."
"Elliot you have you job, your kids, your life. All I have is you, my job, and my heart. And my job is my life and I'm afraid that if I make you my life and this doesn't work out… I'm afraid that I'll lose everything, and I don't know if I can handle that. But if I loose my job I'm afraid that I might also lose you, too. You're my best friend and losing you would break my heart, and I don't want that. I don't think that I can handle that kind of pain again."
"Liv…" It came out as a bare whisper. His heart was breaking for her. He knew that she'd had a rough life, but he didn't know the toll that life had taken on her.
"Elliot, we haven't even been together for two months. And within that time I've gotten pregnant and found myself falling in lo-" She had never voiced the words out loud. Sure she had said them in her head millions and millions of time before, but never out loud.
"Falling in love with me," he finished.
"Yes. Elliot when I fell for you I fell hard and I fell fast and that scared me a little. Then I saw you and Kathy at the coffee house an-"
"Liv, I told you that was nothing. I didn't even notice it and I swear to you that if I did, I would have stopped it immediately. I would never ever hurt you like that. You've got to believe me."
"I do, it's just seeing you two brought up fears that I had forgot about an-"
"Then why can't you just forget about them again?"
"Because they're there and it's not that easy."
"Ok, then what can I do to help them go away."
"You can understand my feelings."
"I do understand."
"No Elliot, you don't. You can't possibly understand something that you don't know."
"Then tell me."
"I don't usually put my heart out there. It's the reason why most of my relationships don't work, because I don't give them the chance to. The times that I did put my heart out there I got burned and I got burned bad. I loved my mother. I always loved her, but you don't understand what it's like to be my mother's best friend one day and her punching bag the next, and for years I tried to figure out why. Why she didn't love me, and then she told me." She sniffed and choked back tears. "And you don't know what that's like." Her voice cracked and he held her close to him as she sobbed into her shoulder. "I never got over that. I never got over the fact that she never really loved me, and since then I've been careful. I only fell in love once after that," she whispered.
"The older guy," he stated.
"But that didn't work out. I knew it wouldn't, but it still hurt when it didn't. So I basically gave up on love. Then out of no where you showed up and you somehow managed to weasel your way into my heart and make me fall in love with you, despite my best attempts, and that scares me, El. 'Cause I just don't know how much more pain I can take. " She looked up and looked him in the eye. "Do you understand? I just don't want to hurt anymore."
"And I promise to never hurt you."
So much. So much he thought he knew about her, but he had been completely wrong. He thought he knew her inside and out, quite literally in fact, only to have her prove him wrong. He realized how selfish he had been. He hadn't been able to understand because he hadn't known all the facts. The clues, the small pieces that held her life together and made her who she was, made her the woman that he loved. Now he understood, and he couldn't help but to hurt for her. For everything she had been through, and for all the pain she felt.
"Liv, you and I have a special relationship, one that means the WORLD to me. So I feel that it's ok for you to fall in love so quickly. We've known and cared about each other for years now and I promise that I will never hurt you. No matter what happens, I'll never leave you because that's how much you mean to me. I see myself spending the rest of my life with you and I will do whatever I possibly can to make you believe and understand that."
He pulled her towards him and gave him a kiss. As the kiss deepened she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her and allowing his jacket to fall to the ground. He slid his tongue gently across her lips and once they parted, he used his tongue to explore the depths of her mouth.
She pulled back and stood on her the tip of her toes to rest her forehead against his. "I still need time," she whispered to his lips.
He nodded in response. "Ok."
"So what else do you have planned for us?" she asked as he bent down and pick up the jacket. He shook it out and made sure it was clean before swinging it behind her and resting it on her shoulders.
"Nothing really. How 'bout we sit here and look up at the stars," he said gesturing to the bench behind her.
"Sounds good."
They sat down on the bench and Elliot pulled her close so that he could keep her warm. She relaxed and settled into his embrace. She never felt as warm or secure as she did when she was in his arms. She nestled down and put her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and inhaled the flowery scent of her shampoo. They sat in a comfortable silence enjoying the quiet of the night looking up at the stars as night settled upon them.
So you know the drill review for the next chapter and I'll be sure to keep up my end of the deal as always. :)