Little time jump here of ~6 weeks to the end of summer. Thank you for reading and reviewing :3 All mistakes are mine
Chapter 8.
Time flashes by through our eight-week summer program. Long days. Short nights. Multiple practices every day. Strength training. Conditioning training. Strategy training. We go over the previous years' routines. We train inside. We train outside. In the heat. In the rain.
As the end of the summer approaches, tension rises because before the fall semester starts, Coach Hale will choose her A Team, and while we're all technically part of the team, only those who make mat get to perform. Home games, rallies, and eventually competitions—the A Team gets all of it, while the B Team watches, ready, just in case someone gets injured or needs to drop out.
The harder I work for it, the more I want it.
Additionally, being on the A Team would increase my chances of getting a full scholarship, which would make things so much easier.
I work my ass off, and thanks to the extra workouts with Jasper and the meal plan, I've put on five pounds of muscle in six weeks. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it's definitely noticeable, and I can feel the difference, too. My arms don't shake as much during stunts, and it's easier to keep a straight face. My game face. The smile-through-the-pain face.
Between cheer stuff and work, I don't have time for much more. Not if I want to sleep, and sleep is a priority, at least according to Bella.
She keeps track of my hours to make sure I get enough. She visits me at work, so that Lauren, the morning shift manager, doesn't try to make me work longer than I'm supposed to.
I've been keeping things professional, respectful, with Bella, but we've definitely gotten closer. We've become friends. Good friends, even. Buddies. Best buddies, according to Emmett, who knows I despise the term.
Bella doesn't seem to mind.
She's busy too, maybe even more than I am. Her parents have her involved in all sorts of extra activities for their 'brand': photo shoots, videos, lives on Instagram. She has a YouTube channel, as well; one that they set up for her when she was only five years old. They homeschooled her so she could focus on all of that.
It's overwhelming to me, but she handles it all somehow.
She handles me, too.
She pushes me. She challenges me. She's a pain in my ass.
Even under the spotlight and her many commitments, she's down-to-earth; she's humble. She's bright and happy and funny and goofy and touchy-feely, and she drives me fucking insane.
I wouldn't change it for the world though. She makes me better. She makes me want more out of life...more out of me.
I focus on our stunts, on getting better at it with her, and keep her from falling, literally. When in reality, what I'm working on the hardest is to keep myself from falling for her.
Sometimes, I fail. I dream about her. About us. About being more.
Her hair splayed on my chest while her head rests on my shoulder. Her leg hitched over my hips. Her fingers threading behind my ear while my hand rubs down her arm. I want to kiss her, so fucking bad. I want—
I sit up with a jolt, and Bella's arm drops on the bed, on the mattress. On my mattress. Next to me.
She looks up at me with sleepy eyes and a warm smile.
"I…" My voice breaks. "What…um…"
Fuck.
I'm speechless. I'm embarrassed. I'm shirtless and in just my boxers, and I'm…so painfully hard.
"Hey…" she says, and when her hand reaches for me, I jump off of the bed, grabbing a pillow to cover myself.
"W-what are you doing in my bed?"
"I couldn't sleep." She stands up and moves closer to me. I close my eyes and hold my breath, my fingers fisting the pillow. I can feel her standing in front of me, but I don't dare open my eyes. "You okay?" Her fingers graze down my arm, making me hiss.
"Bella, please, don't touch me right now." I breathe out through my nose, trying to just…settle down.
Her sigh is followed by the noise of my mattress as she sits on it. I breathe again before I open my eyes. The blush that is spreading on her cheeks doesn't help me, like at all.
"I'm so sorry," I say softly, not knowing what else to do or say.
"Don't worry about it." She shrugs, and other than the blush, she seems unaffected. "I know it's not because of me."
"What?" I'm confused by what she means, but my whole concentration is on rerouting blood flow to my brain and away from the unwanted situation happening inside my boxers.
"Doesn't that happen, like every day, for guys?" she explains. "You know? Morning woo—"
"Swan."
"Slumber lumber?" She smiles deviously.
I groan. "I—"
"Breakfast dagger?" She's laughing now, and I'm trying my best not to.
"Would you stop?!" I say between chuckles while focusing on my breathing.
Her laughter subsides as I look around the room. The sun is shining bright outside, and Emmett is not in his bed.
"What time is it?" I scrub a hand down my face, while the other still holds on tightly to the pillow.
She reaches for my phone on the nightstand and glances at the screen before looking up at me. "10:30."
"What?!" I walk to the nightstand, pillow in place, and check the phone myself.
"Welcome to more than eight hours of sleep!" she says proudly from my bed, and begins to stretch. "How does it feel?"
"How did that even happen?" I scratch the back of my neck in confusion. It is Friday, and while I don't have work today, my alarm is set for 5:00 AM every day. "Did my alarm not go off?"
"Well…You said yesterday that you didn't have work this morning," she explains, her arms stretched over her head. "And when I came in last night, you were so exhausted you didn't even notice when I got in your bed."
"Bella…"
"So, I turned your alarm off." She shrugs. "So you could sleep in."
Before I can answer, the door opens and in comes Emmett, headphones on, drenched in sweat.
"UH-OH!" He smiles widely, eyes on the pillow that still covers my crotch. He takes off his headphones and throws his towel at me. "Boner alert!"
I dodge the disgusting thing flying at my head while I reach for my drawer, pulling out the first pair of sweats I can grab. I step quickly into them, throwing the pillow on the bed, thankful for the distraction and in much better control of my situation.
"'Sup, slacker?" he says to Bella, who's gotten off the bed. "You missed morning run."
"I know." She cracks her neck, continuing her stretches, completely unbothered by Emmett being here, by what he might be thinking, by what just happened to me. "I'll see you guys later at practice." She looks at me briefly before she scurries out.
I flop on the bed, head first, and bury my face in the sheets. They still smell like her, which is so, so fucking unfair.
"Oh, babe, you're so screwed."
"I know…" I groan into the mattress.
"Just go jerk off already," Emmett finds necessary to add, and I throw my pillow at him.
I wish it was that easy.
I refuse to jerk off and think about Bella, but it's a monumental task that requires a great deal of imagination. I force myself to think of anything that remotely works, as far away from Bella as possible, but lately I've been running out of options.
Celebrities got old pretty fast. Don't really like anyone that much. They then morphed into faceless bodies. Hands. Mouths. Getting closer and closer to Bella's, so I've stopped doing it all together.
I think I might die, or explode, or spontaneously combust, or something. It's only a matter of time.
~.~.~
For the last day of practice before team trials, we are training on the sidelines of the football field, while the football team takes the turf. They got here a couple weeks ago, for their own extra practice sessions before the start of the semester. We also had to change our hours at the gym to accommodate them.
I find Bella on the patch of fake grass, down on the ground, switching out her shoes. She tightens her ponytail, high on her head, and looks up at me.
"Hey," she says, smiling and shielding her eyes from the sun.
"Hey…" I crouch in front of her, my fingers poking the grass. "I'm sorry about this morning."
I've been mortified, thinking about it all day since she left my room. She thought it had nothing to do with her, which is probably a good thing, but she is sorely mistaken. Of course I have morning wood all the time, but not like that. Never like that. The one this morning had everything to do with her being in my bed, so close, tangled with me.
I'm not a pre-pubescent teenager for fuck's sake. I've gotten better at controlling my urges when I'm around her, apparently, I just need to be conscious.
"It's all right." She chuckles a little. "Don't worry about it."
"You should warn me or wake me next time you sneak into my bed." I lower my voice, as teammates are starting to congregate on the sidelines. "At least I can throw some clothes on."
"Next time?" She raises a playful eyebrow at me.
She's playing it down, I think. Maybe she's traumatized. She'll obviously never get in my bed again.
Maybe that's for the best.
"Good point," I say, trying not to sound too dejected.
"Hey…" Her fingers reach for my arm, but before she can make contact, I pull back and gesture with my head at Coach Hale and Jasper, who are coming from across the field.
We both stand up, and Bella sets up in front of me, fixing her ponytail again.
Coach starts her speech and says she wants to try a few different things today, so she'll have us rotate partners. Everyone will be stunting with everyone today.
I'm fine with it, really; it's helpful for me to practice my skills with other girls that aren't as good as Bella. Coach sets all the base guys in a line, and she has the flyers switch partners in order, while she and Jasper sit on the bleachers, clipboard and iPad in hand, ready to record us and take notes.
There are ten pairs of stunters in the squad, but only half will make it to the A Team. Five bases and five flyers, ten individuals, regardless of team pairings, so it's wide open for everyone.
I'm focused. I'm well rested, thanks to Bella turning off my alarm clock. I give it my all.
I start with Bella and end with Jessica Stanley, who is probably the least experienced flyer on the team. She makes me work hard for it, but I hit every stunt with every girl, and at the end of it, I'm fucking proud of myself and feeling confident for trials.
It's amazing what a good night of sleep can do.
As Coach dismisses us for a quick break before the rest of practice indoors, my eyes search for Bella, only to find her at the end of the line, on the opposite side of where I stand. While I gather my stuff from the ground, Emmett and Vicky walk closer to me. But not Bella. No. Bella stays behind. Someone is talking to her.
Someone new.
Someone not on our team.
A football player, in full gear, holding his helmet in his hand, one leg hitched on the bench behind Bella, and a full set of teeth exposed to her.
"Who the fuck is that?" Emmett voices my thoughts aloud.
"Tyler Crowley. Quarterback hunk," Vicky starts, then continues to elaborate on how they met him and some other football players last week, at a get-together I thankfully did not attend. She stops talking as she finally catches Emmett's glare.
I take a deep breath, wipe the sweat from my face and neck with my towel, and remain quiet. Emmett sets a hand on my shoulder as I watch Bella seemingly entertained enough to remain over there.
"You okay, babe?" Emmett asks softly next to me.
I groan. I breathe. I nod even though I'm not.
"It's hot as fuck," he continues, looking at me with concern. "We're heading in."
I don't reply; he knows I'm not fucking leaving her out here. So I stay and scorch under the sun until Bella is walking closer to me, with Tyler Fucking Crowley tagging along.
"Hey..." They both stand in front of me. "This is Tyler," she says, softly.
I shake hands with him while my eyes are on her.
"You think you can teach him a quick toss extension?" Bella starts.
I can't fucking believe it. "What?"
"I think it would look cool for a picture. Him in full gear. The field and the mountains behind us."
"Have you stunted before?" I turn to him, my tone clipped.
"No." He chuckles, looking incredulously at me.
"Why is that funny?" My words are sour so he loses his grin.
"Cullen," Bella warns, standing protectively in front of him, which makes me boil.
"He's never stunted before." I laugh sarcastically, aware that I'm being a brat but too pissed to care. "He said it himself."
"You can teach him," she says warmly. Her eyes wide and beautiful and releasing their full force on me. "He's very athletic."
I think I groan out loud, and she presses a hand on my chest, pushing me back, a few feet away from him. He's still staring at me so I fight the urge to make a face at him or flip him off or something.
"Why are you being so rude?" she asks softly, almost embarrassedly.
"I don't think this is a good idea." I take a step back, crossing my arms over my chest and effectively removing her hand from it.
"Just a couple pictures, c'mon."
"What if he drops you?"
"You'll catch me. You can spot us. Stay close."
"Swan—"
"Please?"
Ah, fuck my life.
I spend the next half hour, teaching Tyler Crowley how to toss Bella up in his hands. After he's got the basic motions down, he tries a full rep.
I only have to catch her a couple times before he gets it, and she's so fucking happy when he does.
She's happy…for him. With him.
The pictures look amazing, or so she says.
I hate every second of it.
I gather my things, while she stays behind, with him, exchanging info on their phones. Officially done with torturing myself and watching them together, I turn around and rush in the opposite direction, hoping the second half of practice will be distracting enough for me to avoid her.
"Cullen, wait!" I hear her say behind me. I don't slow down, but she catches up with me anyway. "Geez," she says a little out of breath, looking up at me. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing's up with me, Swan," I murmur, trying to calm down. "We're going to be late for the rest of practice."
"Okay…" She doesn't sound convinced, her feet speeding under her to try to keep up with my pace. "Well, I wanted to say thank you. The pictures came out great."
"Sure, no problem," I say through my teeth, wanting this stupid day to be over.
As soon as we arrive at the gym, I get to work. Luckily, Coach Hale isn't having us do any more stunting, so I don't really have to interact with Bella that much.
I know my anger is irrational. I probably should have followed Emmett's advice this morning to ge rid of my rotten mood.
I knew that eventually Bella would reciprocate someone's interest. However, knowing it was going to happen doesn't make it feel any less shitty when it becomes a reality. So I use my training as an outlet. Jasper leads the conditioning part of practice, in his own tortuous way, and then Coach Hale has us take turns with running tumbles passes.
"If you can hit your sequence now, you can hit it any time," is what she always says.
I hit every one of my passes. Then she has us practice standing tumbles individually, while she roams the room, handing out corrections.
At the end of it, we are all completely exhausted. I'm almost too tired to still be angry—almost.
Coach calls everyone to the mat, and we scramble on the floor, still trying to catch our breath. Bella drops next to me, like she always does. She's worked up a sweat during training, and the hair that has come out of her pony tail is sticking to her neck.
"I want y'all to rest this weekend. You've worked hard these past eight weeks, so take it easy. Clear your heads. Sleep." She raises an eyebrow at me when she says that, and Emmett, who is sitting behind me, pats a hand on my back. "Monday and Tuesday we'll have team trials. And then Jas and I will make our decisions. Based on trials, but also on your performance so far."
"When will we know?" someone asks from behind me. I don't bother looking back to see who it is.
"Right after trials." Coach sticks her hands in her pockets as she paces in front of us. "I see a lot of talent in this room. Y'all should be proud of the work you've put in so far. But remember, making the A Team is only the beginning. There'll be no slacking afterward because everyone on the B Team is going to be waiting, dreaming, and praying to take your spot, and I will have zero issues making changes at any point before Daytona. Is that clear?"
"Crystal," some of us say, but not loud enough.
"Round them up," Coach instructs Jasper, turning to him.
Jasper gestures for us to get up, and we form a circle, holding hands. Bella's fingers slip between mine, linking us. I take a deep breath while my hand tingles.
"Team work?" Jasper paces in the middle of the circle, leading us in our chant.
"Dream work!" we all reply in unison.
"Hard work?"
"Pays off!"
We repeat Coach Hale's coined chant three times as customary, and once satisfied with our level of enthusiasm, she dismisses us so we can finally go home and rest.
With my towel around my neck, I pick up my water bottle from the floor, and then Bella is standing right in front of me when I get up.
"There's an end of summer party at the lake house." Her hands are clasped around the drawstrings of her sports sackpack.
"Okay." I'm not going.
"Well, do you want to go?" Her cheeks are still flushed from our workout. It makes her freckles pop and my heart speed up.
"I don't think so." I'm not going.
"Why not?" She frowns. Her eyes don't release me.
"I'm tired." I'm not going. I look around the room, just giving my eyes something else to do.
"We can just swim for a little bit."
"You know that's not true, and I have to work tomorrow morning."
"C'mon, Cullen!" She smacks a hand on my chest. My shirt is soaked and it sticks to my skin. Somehow, she's not disgusted by it and keeps her palm pressed on my pec for a second too long. "The summer will be over soon, and then it will be cold, and dark, and snowy." She makes a pretend face of disgust that tugs at my heartstrings. "That's tough on Floridians, you know?"
I fight my smile, I do. If she breaks me, I'll end up staying. I'll end up going with her to the lake, and I don't think I can deal with it right now. "I'll pass today, okay? I'm sorry."
Her eyes are sad, but she's half-smiling at me. "Okay," she says, the disappointment clear in her voice. I nod at her, rushing out of the gym before I change my mind.
Emmett is chatting with Jacob and James by the door. I'm hoping he'll head to the lake house as well so at least Bella will have him and Vicky to walk back with.
Turns out she might not need them to walk with her at all, as Tyler is freshly-showered and preppy-dressed, waiting for her outside of the gym.
I don't walk to the dorms; I run, hoping the burn in my lungs cancels out everything else. My brain torments me, going over all the different scenarios in which Tyler will ask her out today and all the different ways she'll say yes to him.
Once I'm in my room, I'm bombarded by the images of Bella in my bed this morning, in her oversized T-shirt and her tiny cotton shorts, her eyes wide and sleepy and beautiful, looking up at me.
I step in the shower, knowing very well I'm losing this battle. I'm falling.
I don't know how I will stay friends with her while she dates someone else. How I'll keep things professional when we practice, when we hopefully compete and perform together. How I'll stop thinking about her this way—this way that makes my whole body ache for her.
It doesn't matter how sick it makes me feel. How wrong I know it is. How hard I try to keep her face out of my head while my hands circle around myself. How much I hope the cold water helps. So I don't have to do this. So I don't think about her while doing it.
But it's all in vain. Her eyes. Her smile. Her freckles. Her face creeps in to torture me, just when I'm about to burst, making me hate myself for it.