Are you guys ready for trials? Edward is not.
Chapter 12.
Team trials are finally here.
I'm relieved that we can finally get them over with, but equal parts terrified that I won't perform to Coach Hale's and Jasper's satisfaction, and that I won't make mat. Especially after the night and morning I've had.
Fair to say, I am not feeling great.
I'm tired and sore all over, but it's not even that.
In an attempt to drown my thoughts about Bella possibly going out with Tyler, I overdid it at the gym last night practicing stunts with Jessica, out of all people. It was all in vain though; after returning to the dorms, I still couldn't sleep. Emmett and Vicky were back and said that Bella hadn't been at the lake. She also wasn't back in her room.
Where was she? Where did she go? And with whom?
My mind kept me up all night, going over every possible scenario, every possible activity she and Tyler were out doing. Maybe he took her out to dinner. Maybe they went for a movie, or a walk, or whatever it is regular people do out on dates.
I would have taken her to my spot on the hill, with the wooden bench and the calming view, with no one around so we could talk, really talk.
I hiked there this morning, just to clear my head and try to relax before trials.
Again, to no avail. I have not seen Bella all morning, and she wasn't at the gym when I arrived early to help Jasper set up for trials.
My mind is a mess. I'm jittery and nervous as people start filtering in, and then Bella finally arrives, almost late, which is very uncharacteristic of her.
She looks fine, better than fine, so I breathe a little easier. She doesn't come to stand near me though; she also doesn't look directly at me, so I know something's up.
I don't have time to go check on her because Coach Hale starts giving out instructions for trials. We'll do standing tumbles first, then baskets, pyramids, and partner stunts will be last. Running tumbles and do-overs on anything needed will be tomorrow.
We take turns with standing tumbles in front of Coach and Jasper who sit side by side on folding chairs. A back tuck, a back full, and a double. I hit all three, and so does Bella. She continues to avoid me through it all. She's not on my basket team, so I don't get to talk to her then either.
During pyramid sequences, I am usually one of the guys at the bottom, either throwing, catching and spotting, or holding one, sometimes two, girls stacked on my shoulders. It's hard, but not too complicated. It doesn't require a lot of skill on my part, just brute force. I just have to keep myself up and move when I need to.
Bella, on the other hand, as top flyer is crucial to every variation of the pyramid that Coach has envisioned. She gets tossed to the top in all sorts of shapes and forms. As we get ready for the first one, Bella finally stands in front of me, with zero chance of avoidance.
"Hey…" I smile at her shakily, with Vicky already standing on my shoulders while I grip her calves to stabilize her. My right shoulder is achy from last night, and Vicky's shoe is pressing on it painfully. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Bella's tone is icy, chilling me to my core. Yup, something is up. "You?" She arcs an eyebrow at me, her eyes finally meeting mine.
"I'm okay," I say, admittedly a little nervous under her scrutinizing stare.
"Not too tired, or sore?" she asks, a hint of sarcasm.
"What do you mean?" I'm always tired and sore. I'm especially tired and sore today.
Emmett sets up behind her, his hands on her hips, ready to toss her up. He's looking at me too, like he knows something is going on.
"You weren't too tired to stunt with Jessica last night?" Bella says, and my stomach drops.
Emmett mouths a silent "busted," shaking his head at me, before crouching behind Bella. "Ready?" he asks her.
She nods, with her eyes trained on me, before she disappears as she gets tossed in the air. She lands roughly on top of Vicky. I feel her weight stacked over Vicky's on my shoulders, but my thoughts are even heavier.
Fuck.
She knows I lied. I said I was too tired to practice with her, then did it with Jessica anyway.
I didn't tell Emmett, or Vicky. How did Bella find out? Did Jessica say something to her?
We disentangle ourselves as the girls get off me, and Bella switches to the opposite side, without another word to me, because Coach wants us to try something different. By the time she's back on my side, it's now Jessica on my shoulders.
"I'm sorry," I whisper to Bella, whose back is to me for this version of the pyramid.
She doesn't say anything back, as she's now tossed by Jake over to Jessica. Bella is supposed to land with one foot on Jessica's thigh and the other on Vicky's thigh, who's now up on Emmett's shoulders, next to us.
I can't see, but I know something is wrong as Jessica leans way over, and I struggle to balance her. The next thing I know, the pyramid is collapsing and Bella is falling in front of me. My instinct to catch her is barred by the girl on my shoulders, who would fall too if I let go of her.
Bella lands on her feet, thankfully, but roughly and into a crouch, with barely any help from Jake. When she tries to get up, her eyes find me, panicked. Then, she winces.
My heart stops. She's hurt.
I set Jessica down quickly and rush to Bella, but I'm stopped by Coach, whose hands are up, gesturing to everyone to move back.
"Forty push-ups," Coach says, before turning around to Bella, who's on the floor, whimpering and grabbing her right ankle. I see Laurent, our team doctor, coming from the back rooms and rushing to them.
"Just let me check on her, please," I beg Jasper, who is now holding me in place by my arm.
"You heard Coach," Jasper says as Laurent carries Bella to the back room, taking my heart and my thoughts with them. Her eyes are on me over Laurent's shoulder, a mixture of fear and regret in them.
My head spins and I groan, tugging at my hair, while Jasper pulls me back onto the mat.
Forty push-ups is the punishment for everyone involved in dropping a flyer in a stunt or pyramid. I finish mine quickly despite the pain in my shoulder, while my brain goes over every possible thing that can be wrong with Bella's ankle, from minor sprain to career-ending injury.
Once done with the push ups, my focus is to go check on Bella, but I don't get to. Coach Hale comes out from the back, announcing we'll continue with trials, and partner stunting is next, with no Bella in sight.
I get paired with Jessica, because of fucking course.
I'm pissed. I'm hurting. I'm worried sick.
When Jessica walks closer to me, as we line up in front of Coach, I shamelessly take it out on her.
"Did you tell Swan we practiced last night?" I hiss at her, my tone is as sour as my mood. My anger is misplaced, I know, I'm the only one at fault, but I can't reason with myself at the moment.
"What? No." She seems genuinely surprised. If it wasn't her, then how did Bella find out? I don't think anyone else could have seen us together. I didn't see anyone else at the gym last night.
I don't have time to think about it any longer because Coach starts listing stunts for us to do, as if nothing's happened.
I know I'm screwed, even before we start.
Even the basic, easy stunts that Coach has us start with are shaky for me and Jessica. Nothing is working. We're out of sync, unfocused—it's a fucking mess.
The stunts get progressively harder, failure after failure, and I know neither of us will make mat tonight.
I'm pissed.
I'm disappointed.
But what I am the most is worried about Bella who is still behind the doors that lead to the locker rooms and therapy area.
"Toss extension. Superman, Cupie," Coach instructs loudly to all the stunters.
Yeah, there's no way I can pull off a Superman cupie right now. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
I regret going to the gym last night. I should have rested as Coach instructed. Now I can feel it, everywhere. My back. My arms. My neck. My fucking shoulder.
I know I could push through, but the pain from my muscles pales in comparison to the one from my thoughts. Because what I regret the most is not having spoken to Bella. Not being honest with her. Letting her down. Letting her fall.
I guess that's exactly why getting feelings mixed up with a teammate is not only a bad idea—in Coach Hale and Jasper's eyes, at least—but it's also highly dangerous.
She's hurt. She's hurt and that's all I can think about.
Now everything is on the line. What I have been working so hard for, this moment right here, and I'm about to fuck it all up.
Coach snaps her fingers at me, bringing me back to my inevitable doom.
I crouch behind Jessica with a huff and toss her up onto my hands. On the pop off, I catch her waist and my arms swing her between my legs, while she keeps her body straight in a Superman pose. Then I try my best, with zero momentum, to bring her up again, and catch her on my right hand only, onto a cupie.
Jessica is off her game though, and so am I, which makes it impossible for me to bring her all the way up. Our second attempt goes even worse than the first, as Jessica can't keep her body straight, and I end up on my knees, unable to lift her at all.
"Are you trying to bust my back?" I say through my teeth, while I fight to catch my breath behind her.
We're about to try our third and last chance to hit the final stunt when Bella comes out from the back, slightly limping, and heads in Coach and Jasper's direction. She stands between them, and they exchange whispered words I can't decipher.
I use the time to catch my breath, stretch my shoulders, anything that would help me get through the last stunt.
I'm rolling my shoulder with my hand clasped on it when Jaspers starts walking to me. My eyes are on Bella. Her whole demeanor is different than earlier, softer, and she even half smiles at Coach with an encouraging nod. It feels like fresh air getting in my lungs because it looks like she says she's okay.
I breathe a little easier. She's okay.
"Are you okay with trying partner stunts again but with Bella?" Jasper asks, standing in front of me.
Me? "What?" The air escapes out of me with my question.
"She only wants to do it with you." Jasper crosses his arms in front of himself, a hint of disapproval in his tone. "Apparently, you're the gentlest with her ankles."
"Is she okay to stunt though?"
"She's been cleared, but that's not my question."
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, dropping my hand from my shoulder while Jasper raises an eyebrow at me. My eyes travel to Bella and Coach Hale, who are both looking at me.
When Jasper returns to them, Coach Hale gestures to Jessica to get off the mat.
I feel like an asshole. I probably just ruined Jessica's chances at making the A Team. I feel remorse as her eyes fill with tears, but my attention quickly shifts to Bella who is walking toward me, looking down. My eyes inspect her bandaged ankle—she's not fully limping, but she's moving very gingerly.
When she stands in front of me, she takes a deep breath without looking up.
"Are you okay?" I reach for her hands.
"I am," she says, peeking at me through wet lashes and squeezing my hands briefly. "Let's just get through this."
Her features shift as she crafts the smile she shows everyone else—the one that's just for performance, her smile-through-the-pain, her game face. I know it's not real though, as it doesn't touch her eyes, and it makes my chest ache. Once she's mastered it, she lets go of my hands and turns around to face Coach and our team.
"I'm sorry about last night," I whisper, inching closer to her as my hands wrap around her waist, her ponytail in front of my face as I crouch behind her. "I didn't mean to lie to you, I just—"
"It's going to be okay," she says, clasping her hands softly around my wrists, her fingers tapping on my skin as they usually do, signaling that she's ready.
I'm not ready. Everything feels wrong.
I wish I could press pause, take a second or two.
Instead, I take a deep breath as Coach Hale clicks her pen, letting us know our first stunt for trials—a double up. Then, I tell myself to focus, over and over again.