Author's notes: Due to Kishimoto's messed up timelines and ages, I have chosen to tinker with general ages of certain characters. I aged up Killer B's team, as well as Rin and Obito, because I can. (Rin and Obito would be two years and some months older than Kakashi.) Bonus material on why Tsume can accidentally trap Sasori and not die for it (a flash back to the first chapter, when Tsume was using the same crooning voice on Naruto as she had on a trapped deer, snared wolves, and a snared Sasori).

This starts the chapters in which I really get to explore the County of Lightning (which, apparently, is an economic powerhouse in canon), and Kumo. It's fun to explore how geography and environment influences the formation of culture.

o-o-o

o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o

"Hi, Tsume-san!" Mitarashi Anko waved excitedly. She was seated on a closed rain barrel next to one of Konoha's nondescript exits, and wore a heavy tan trench coat and a burgundy-colored knit scarf around her neck. Her hands were bare, and her shoulders were bent backwards slightly from the heavy knapsack she wore. Her hair was a splash of dark purple, and her scarf lime green – blindingly bright in their gloomy surroundings, pale in the waning twilight and overcast clouds. Even the few trees looked gloomy, thanks to their stark branches and darkened trunks.

Tsume laughed. "I should've known that the Hokage would pick you."

"Why?"

"Because I asked for my annoying older brother, and instead he gives me my hyperactive little sister."

"Oh. Is that why you're also stuck with him?" Anko jabbed a thumb over to the enclosed guard station. Shikake was leaning against the building, bundled in two cloaks, a hat, a pair of gloves, and probably three pairs of socks. Shikake greatly disliked the cold. As medical director of the hospital, Shikake couldn't be ordered to take missions that went beyond Fire Country. Tsume was surprised that he allowed the Hokage to talk him into this mission, since it was always his preference to stay where it was warm.

Most of the snow had melted the day before, and then froze into sheets of ice overnight. The cold seared Tsume's lungs as she drew in a deep, invigorating breath. She actually preferred the biting cold over the sweltering heat, even though this type of cold was rare and unusual in Fire Country.

"Probably." Tsume adjusted the sing on her back. Naruto and Kiba, both bundled against the cold, were tucked securely in the slingcarry and both still asleep. It had taken Tsume most of yesterday to rig something up when the other slingcarries only carried a single child. The rest of her supplies were kept in storage scrolls, which Kuromaru carried in the two knapsacks that Tsume attached to his harness. When given the choice of carrying supplies or children, Kuromaru readily picked the supplies. "And then there's you." She tried to keep her smile friendly, but knew it was probably just tired and worn, as she turned to her fourth team member.

Aburame Hotaru smiled back with the same level of tiredness. Her kikaichu buzzed more slowly than usual – Tsume suspected it had something to do with the cold. "It's been a long time." Hotaru's voice was just as soft as Tsume remembered, light and high like a bell. "The Hokage was looking for volunteers, so I gladly stepped forward." Her eyes were tender as they flickered to where Naruto was asleep, his face pressed against Tsume's back. Tsume could feel the drool soaking through her cloak. Hotaru smelled of sorrow and love – not even the slightest hint of resentment or bitterness tainted her scent. "It would be an honor and a pleasure to accompany you and your sons."

Tsume grinned. "And it will be an honor and a pleasure to be accompanied by the Fourth Hokage's old teammate." Then she threw a chummy arm around Hotaru. The Aburame were painfully pragmatic and nearly literal in their rationalization. As a whole, they were almost incapable of taking insults personally, which granted them a reputation for being responsible neutral parties, especially when working with emotionally volatile situations. Hotaru had inherited an unusual sense of whimsy from her civilian mother, along with eyes that weren't painfully sensitive to the light – she was one of the few Aburame who didn't wear sunglasses, which made it easier for her to sneak around without raising suspicion.

Hotaru brushed some of Tsume's hair from her cheek. "Clan markings with no forehead protector?" Tsume felt some of the kikaichu slip from Hotaru's hand and disappear into her hair. She suppressed the urge to vigorously scratch her scalp as she felt them tickling through the follicles.

"No forehead protector."

"You'll need one before we head into Lightning. Hokage's orders."

Tsume sulked as Hotaru riffled through the many pockets of her voluminous coat. "It just won't be the same. You know that the forehead protector's always been a touchy subject for me." She never felt right with replacing her sister's broken forehead protector.

Hotaru's smile shifted into something warm and welcoming. "I know. That's why I'm letting you borrow Minato's."

Tsume sucked in a surprised breath. "Really? You have Mooncalf's forehead protector?"

Hotaru withdrew something from her pocket. The surface was dull and scratched, and the blue ties were frayed on the ends. "It's not mine either – I only have it in safekeeping until I can give it to the person whom Minato would've wanted to have it." She deftly tied the forehead protector around Tsume's upper right arm. Tsume envied Hotaru's long, slim fingers. "Which would be this little one, here." Hotaru dropped a hand on Naruto's fluffy hair. Tsume craned her neck in time to see three kikaichu slip into the fluff. Two more dropped off Hotaru's elbow onto the back of Kiba's neck. "However, I feel that Minato would be honored if you borrowed it – after all, you are Naruto's mother now."

Tsume threw her arms around Hotaru and squished her into a hug; she felt humbled and delighted by Hotaru's support. The kikaichu's buzz flared for a moment, as did the scent of surprise. Then Hotaru hugged Tsume back. "Thanks," Tsume whispered.

Hotaru's voice was even softer as she replied. "You have the full support and backing of my clan. By the way, my wife would love to have you over for dinner, you and your children, once we all get back home. She used to be Minato's secretary, and she's delighted with being able to see your newest child."

Anko threw herself into the middle, snagging Hotaru and Tsume's arms. "Are we done yet? Can we go now? This is the first time out of quarantine that I get to go further than two kilometers outside Konoha!" She dropped their arms and darted to Shikake's side. "Come on, you old fuddy-duddy! We're burning daylight!"

Shikake reluctantly peeled himself away from the building. "Such a bother," he muttered. Tsume sidled up to him, and then deftly planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "What's that for?"

"For a good morning." It was rare that Tsume got to go on missions with her father, so she was looking forward to spending some quality time with him. She hoped he felt the same about her and his grandchildren.

"Ah. Well, best to head out now because Anko rips the gate off in her eagerness to depart."

"Wait, hold." Tsume lightly touched Shikake's arm. He sighed and ran a hand through his graying hair.

After a few moments, Kokoro slid into sight. "Oh, I'm glad I caught you before you left!" Kokoro had fitted her wheelchair with skis so it could glide over the ice and snow. Chakra strings glimmered from her fingers, as did the ten silver rings that she wore – one for each finger, each to help attach and guide a chakra string. She wore a brightly colored scarf made of various lime green and gold yarn around her neck, and a brightly multicolored blanket covered her unmoving legs. At her side, wearing a forehead protector around his neck like a collar, was Jinan, a former wolf-pup that Tsume had given Kokoro two years ago. He wasn't wearing his harness today, so Kokoro clearly meant to spend the day in her wheelchair. "You forgot to hug me goodbye, Anko-chan."

Anko pouted. "I'm a chuunin now, Auntie." She glanced side to side, glaring at the other nin standing guard at the gate as they snickered, and dragged a toe across the ground. "I'm too old for hugs."

Kokoro sniffed and turned her nose up, mouth twisting in amusement. "I'm not too old, and you'll be gone for a while. Come now, give me a hug."

Anko reluctantly shuffled over. "You make me do this every time I go on a mission, and the last time it was just to help a genin team with a D rank mission to pick up trash outside the walls."

"You could've contracted tetanus while picking up trash. Every mission carries a risk. Humor your aunt – you're the only thing I have left of my brothers."

Anko bent over, tapped her hands against Kokoro's shoulders as if this was a viable replacement for actual hugs, and then retreated in adolescent embarrassment as her cheeks flamed red. "We're done now, right?"

Kokoro laughed and pulled her scarf off. "Such a brat," she said affectionately. "Now, go away, I want to have a word alone with Tsume, and I don't need an eavesdropper."

"You're going to talk about me, aren't you?"

"Oh, absolutely. I have to tell Tsume here all about your bedtime routine, like the warm milk, Mister Nap-chan, and—"

Anko was outraged. "I don't drink warm milk!" Her cheeks burned even brighter as she quickly looked side to side again, glaring at everyone who was watching. "And there's no such thing as Mister Nap-chan!"

Kokoro snapped her scarf like a whip to lightly strike Anko's knee. "Not everything is about you, you brat. Of course I'm not going to talk about you." Anko retreated over to Hotaru's side, kicking as the ice. Hotaru smiled indulgently at Anko's sulk. Tsume greeted Jinan first, ruffling his ears, before she gave Kokoro a hug. She made sure to linger a few seconds longer than necessary, making up for Anko's lack of contact. "First things first," Kokoro whispered as she looped her green-and-yellow scarf around Tsume's neck, "good luck. It's a long trip to Lightning with two children and my niece on tow."

Even though Kokoro's eyes and smile gave nothing away, Tsume could still smell the fear. "I'll bring her back alive and in one piece."

"I know. If there's anyone who could make that promise and actually keep it, it would be you. You've always been the one who believed the most in Sakumo's Rules. Anko hasn't had any loss of control in over a year, but she also hasn't been in any life-threatening situations."

Well, at least none that Danzo hadn't manufactured to help Anko learn control of her curse seal, of which Tsume was fairly sure the last time was about a month ago. And of which Kokoro probably didn't know all that much about. Still, Tsume doubted that there would be too many situations that could be more threatening or deadly than what Danzo could create when he was feeling creatively sadistic.

"You're talking about me! You said you wouldn't!"

Kokoro raised her voice. "And Mister Nap-chan is currently tucked in the lower left flap of the knapsack…"

"Gah!" Anko slapped her hands over her ears. "I can't hear you! Lalalalalala!"

Kokoro turned back to Tsume. "I just finished knitting this last week. I want you to take it with you. Your neck looks like it would get cold." She fiddled and fussed with the scarf until she had the ends neatly tucked down the front of Tsume's vest. "Good luck to the rest of the mission," she added. "I know that you'll do your best to stay out of trouble, except that won't happen. You'll wind up in an impossible situation, somehow get out of it by the skin of your teeth, and leave the rest of us wondering how the hell you managed to survive."

"I would never!" Tsume protested.

Kokoro grinned, eyes twinkling without malice and her scent light and joyous. "You will, Tsume-chan. The thing is, even when you stay out of trouble, trouble has this way of finding you."

Tsume felt too keen and aware of the heavy load of responsibility she bore – one precious scroll, folded into small squares and tucked down her shirt next to her heart, because she wanted Hyuuga Hizashi to feel the love Konoha had for him every step of this journey; one stern order to not start a war for the love of dead Hokages everywhere; and two young children in their slingcarries, asleep without any understanding of the world they were about to be carried into. "I'll do my best."

"I know. I'll help Aunt Natsumi look after Sakumo-senpai while you're gone."

"Thanks. I'll see you when I get back." Tsume hugged Kokoro again. Kokoro smiled and waved one-handed at everyone as they left, because her other hand tightly gripped the blanket that covered her legs.

oOoOoOo

Traveling at full speed with minimal rests, the team would make it to the designated Lightning village of Shikotan in six days. Traveling at full speed with more frequent rests to feed, potty, and settle fussing toddlers, the team would reach their destination in eight days. That left them one day to find Jiraiya.

As they ran, Shikake explained that the Hokage's intelligence indicated that Jiraiya was last seen in the Land of This, which was a little further of their beaten path than the time the Hokage had given them would allow.

"Really?" Tsume said. "I thought it was the Land of That." She sure as hell wasn't going to try sniffing him down.

Shikake rubbed his chin in thought, his eyes narrow. "He moves rather quickly when he wants to. For all we know, he could be in the Land of There by now."

Anko cackled. "Any chances of him being in Hither or Yon?"

Hotaru groaned and nearly missed the branch she aimed for. "Please tell me it's not going to be like this all the way to Lightning."

"Wait, wait. I thought," Tsume said, raising her hand in the air like she was back in the Academy, "that he was banned from the Land of There given how he seduced and scandalized the virginal Head Priestess. They're the country run completely by the shrines, right?"

"It is, but bans have never stopped him before, now have they?" Shikake's gait was smooth and fluid, like advancing shadows, as he led the way through the forest highway. The forest floor beneath them was slick of ice and would be noisy if walked on, instantly alerting anyone in their surroundings. "The Land of Here is too far off-target for us. If he's not anywhere in a day's travel, we'll have to see him after you return from Kumo."

"I can run really, really fast," Anko insisted. "I won't hold anyone back, so maybe we can gain some extra time if we pick up the speed." She bubbled with nervous teenaged energy, eager to prove herself after struggling five years to overcome her curse seal and the prejudices that came with being tainted by Orochimaru. She and Kuromaru had the shortest legs of the team, but Kuromaru traveled with long strides, and Anko took short, rapid steps.

"Tsume, can you smell him?" Hotaru asked. She floated easily, fluttering like a butterfly from branch to branch, which were also coated in ice. They cracked beneath the passing weight of multiple shinobi.

"Still too far away," Tsume answered, not wanting to. The resulting damage if she did would mean that she wouldn't be able to maintain the breaknecking speed that Shikake had deliberately set after Anko made fun of him being a fuddy duddy old snail. Tsume felt like a lumbering porcupine beside her graceful teammates, easily unbalanced because of her two squabbling passengers. "I'll have to wait until we reach the border before I can pinpoint his location." She reached back and smacked the underside of Kiba's sling. "Stop jabbing your brother!" she snapped.

"Yeah!" Naruto declared, before jabbing back at Kiba.

oOoOoOo

Jiraiya was in heaven, or at least as close to what would qualify as heaven on this dreadful earth. He had a gorgeous, curvy redhead hanging off his right arm, and a smoking hot blond with the cutest pair of wire-rimmed spectacles clinging to his left arm. Best of all, they were willing to share, which he totally needed to get first hand experience with because an important scene in his current work in progress hinged on how the heroine had to team up with another woman in order to successfully seduce the main villain, who would eventually become the heroine's love interest by the end of the book when an even greater villain rose to power.

Jiraiya carefully move his right arm, and downed the last little bit of his warmed sake. He set the cup down firmly on the counter. "Well, my lovelies?" he asked brightly, squeezing both of them tightly against his sides. They had such nice, curvy hips, so he dropped his hands lower to get in an extra squeeze.

Blondie giggled and stroked his chin. "Any time, tiger." Ooooh, he liked the effects of Blondie's glasses glinting rather ominously in the bar's dim light. It would make excellent foreshadowing, although it was certainly cliché.

Scarlet pressed herself more tightly against the length of his body and said nothing, but her warm breath stirred the hairs on his neck and stirred other lower areas.

Just as Jiraiya was gathering his feet beneath himself to stand, the bar door slammed open and a bulky brown whirlwind rushed through. "WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THAT TWO-TIMING NO GOOD LYING DECEITFUL WORTHLESS SPERM DONOR?"

Uh oh. Someone was really pissed off – scenes at bars weren't unusual, but were always kind of embarrassing to watch. Jiraiya was just glad it wasn't him. "We should sneak off before this gets ugly," he told his two hookups softly.

And then the bulky brown whirlwind planted herself in front of him. Heeeeey, he'd know that hedgehog hair just about anywhere! And, uh, why was she glaring at him? What did he do now?

"YOU!" A hand fisted the front of his jacket and yanked him forward until her nose smooshed against his. "I would find you cozying up with these two floozies and drunk off your ass to boot! I'll put a boot up your ass!"

Jiraiya wasn't drunk off his ass! He was seated very firmly, thank-you-very-much. He released Blondie to rub the blurriness out of his eyes, and then squinted more closely. "Did you just bring two children into the bar, Tsume?"

She didn't use chakra to shake him, but there was still a lot of strength in her arms as she did just that. "THEY'RE YOUR CHILDREN. WHICH YOU WOULD KNOW IF YOU ACTUALLY CAME HOME MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH, STEAL MY MILK MONEY, AND THEN SKEDADDLE BEFORE RESPONSIBILITY HAS A CHANCE TO KICK YOU IN THE NUTS."

Wait a minute… there was something very odd about this conversation, and now his eardrums hurt, too.

Tsume turned to Scarlet and said, in a very snide voice, "I do hope you aren't thinking of sleeping with this one." She repeatedly jabbed Jiraiya painfully hard in the chest, each jab punctuating her words. "He's got at least three STDs that I know of, including tertiary syphilis and had already fathered at least seven children with three other women that I know of. Unfortunately, I had twins."

"I don't have—ow!"

Tsume removed her heel from Jiraiya's instep, just as Jiraiya's latest hookups detached themselves from his arms.

"Wait!" he called after them as they quickly retreated, whispering together behind their hands and shooting him looks that would set his hair on fire if they could apply any chakra into their gaze. "I'm not – she isn't – I, uh…" He was suddenly aware of the venomous looks he was getting from everyone else in the bar, including the bartender. He very much doubted that he was going to be allowed a consolation drink now that his nocturnal plans had been abruptly canceled. "Damn it."

Tsume burst into tears. "You've gone and spent all my milk money on booze again, haven't you? How can I feed my boys like this? I work my hands to the bone milking those yaks, and now I don't have anything left. We're going to starve!"

One of the boys leaned around Tsume's shoulder and fiercely glared at Jiraiya. He had seen that glare somewhere before. Yeah, and that red hair was awfully familiar… "You're a bad, bad man!" the child declared, pointing a finger accusingly at Jiraiya.

The other boy growled – those were definitely Inuzuka fangs. "You made Mommy cry." He patted Tsume's shoulder. "It's okay, Mommy. I love you, and I'll milk the yaks."

The collective crowd in the bar said, "Aaaaaawwwww." Then the crowd glared at Jiraiya. One patron, stumbling on rubbery legs, made a show of trucking a couple of ryo into Tsume's pocket. "Here ya go, Jo-chan," he said, giving Jiraiya a withering look.

Tsume blew her nose into Jiraiya's sleeve, and tried to look contrite and humble. "I couldn't possibly accept your kind generosity…"

"S'all right, Jo-chan. My sister's raising a kid all on her own, 'cause her husband's a deadbeat loser, too."

"Now, wait a minute—"

Tsume threw her arms around the man and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much! Now my boys can eat for the next week." She gave Jiraiya a contemptuous glare. "No thanks to you," she added, her words dripping with scorn. Then, still dabbing at her eyes with the corner of her brightly colored green-and-gold scarf, she retreated from the bar. A small voice followed her: "Can we afford carrots now?"

Jiraiya nearly tripped over his feet, hurrying after her. "Wait, Tsume!" The air was cold, and night had settled as he exited the building. The streetlights were oil lamps that sputtered and flickered up and down the dirt lane. He paused outside the door and looked around, not seeing anyone. He concentrated a moment, and then turned and looked upward.

Tsume cheerfully waved at him from the bar's roof.

One sloppy jump brought him nearly to the roof. He clung to the edge for a moment, feet scrambling with chakra for purchase against the slick stone, before Tsume grabbed his belt and hauled him over the edge. He spilled onto the roof, and then rolled over onto his back. The night skies were currently overcast – not even the moon as visible. Tsume popped into his line of vision, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Was that scene really necessary?" Jiraiya asked, trying not to pout and whine at the same time. "I've never slept with you – in fact, you're one of the few women I'd never consider sleeping with!" Part of that was because he would always cherish that confused little child with eyes wide beneath the thick bandages wrapping her skull, whom he made laugh with a ridiculous puppet play even though she couldn't remember who he was most of the time, and the other part of that was because he had no intention of horning in on another man's territory, even if the other man was neck-deep in denial.

"Anything that amuses an Inuzuka is necessary. Being entertained is always far better for everyone all around than being bored. Besides, I had to get your interest in a way that wouldn't alert anyone that we're from Konoha. Thanks, Kuromaru." Tsume accepted a scuffed-up forehead protector that her ninken held out to her and secured it around her upper arm. Kuromaru stuck a cold nose against Jiraiya's ear and sniffed. Then he huffed, wagged his tail dismissively, and turned away from Jiraiya.

Well, that was most certainly true about keeping an Inuzuka entertained. Especially when said Inuzuka happened to be Tsume. Jiraiya could remember some of the damage control that he had to run when Tsume was a teenager, because Sakumo was in no position to by that time, Natsumi was flat-out amused, and Danzo pulled a very good disappearing act. Jiraiya wasn't too sure how he managed to assume such responsibility for Sakumo's team.

The worst, he thought mournfully, was when Tsume decided to recruit his own team as a source of free entertainment. Hotaru and Osamu were sometimes quick enough to disappear, but somehow Minato let himself get dragged into the girls' schemes time and time again, sometimes because Minato was Tsume's fourth best friend in the entire world (as Minato once told Jiraiya), but mostly because he had a huge crush on Kushina (which Minato never openly admitted to Jiraiya).

"Okay," Jiraiya started, enjoying the slow buzz of alcohol in his veins for one last brief moment before he would scrub it away with several pulsing washes of nature chakra (ha! Take that, Tsunade-hime), "so did you make that scene in the bar because you were bored and just happened to be in the area, or did you really need to talk to me and couldn't wait for a message to get through?"

Tsume raised her head for a moment, nostrils flaring as she took a breath, and then her voice dropped into a whisper as she crouched close. "I'm on my way to Kumo – have to deliver something priceless to the Raikage – and I figured I'd just swing by and see my new son's godfather. I was also hoping you could check out a couple of interesting seals."

Wait… Jiraiya sat upright and squinted more closely to the redhaired child whom Tsume carried on her back.

Bright blue eyes stared back beneath a mop of fluffy red hair. He was fairly sure that red wasn't natural, given the blond eyebrows, but he couldn't tell if it was dye or genjutsu.

"You didn't." Jiraiya's voice was flat. How did she manage to duplicate Kushina's color? Then, "You did." He distinctly remembered giving Tsume the green light for assuming responsibility for his godson, as well as some horticultural factoids on cacti. Surely the Hokage must've given permission for Tsume to bring their jinchuuriki to the country where their last jinchuuriki had been kidnapped and dragged off to; elsewise the strongest team of ANBU would've been dispatched to bring back the child.

Tsume touched his shoulder as a strange look filled her eyes. "You have to. I don't know if it's me or him, but all I can smell is that fox. Oyubi didn't even notice the scent, but my daughter and I could. I've had to increase my sensitivity higher than I normally would to detect anything around it, and I can't keep up with that strain."

("Tsunade-hime said that her threshold will decrease with age – she will die, piece by piece, little by little, each time she exceeds her limit, like a tree ruthlessly culled back until all that's left is a dead stump.")

And Tsume, if he was unable to somehow fix the problem, would willingly accept dying piece by piece, little by little, reducing herself to an overeager stump.

"All right. Let's get into a private area, and I'll see what I can do."

Tsume grinned and rustled through her hair. "Already on it." She withdrew a kikaichu from her hair. "Shikake and Hotaru were scouting for an area earlier, and I think they found one. Now we just have to follow this little guy here to Anko, who'll lead us to Shikake and Hotaru. I think he's named Bo."

oOoOoOo

The nice, private area was a large crevice in a canyon several kilometers outside of town. The Land of Here was a small country not too far from the Waterfall Country, nestled deep in the same mountain range where Waterfall existed, except the mountainsides seemed barren without the same lush trees that Waterfall had. It was chilly, as Waterfall was wont to be in winter, but not unbearably so since the cold snap had eased up three days ago. Here was much windier than Waterfall, especially without the barricade of trees, and the wind had blown away the latest dusting of snow that had fallen, piling huge snow drifts like miniature foot hills. The moon had already set, but the night sky was clear and dotted with millions of stars as the clouds cleared away – Jiraiya admired the beauty as he felt a sense of maudlin settle over him like mist over a valley floor. They were like diamonds scattered on midnight velvet. A lonely wind moaned as it rushed over the craggy mountainsides.

Hmmm, he could use this as the opening scene in his book, Jiraiya decided as they quietly snuck across the countryside, carefully hugging the ground and skimming the snow to prevent visible silhouettes against the skyline. His heroine would be lonely, wondering about the point of her existence, of how life as an assassin brought no meaning…

Tsume snapped him out of his musing by punching him in the shoulder, and introducing Anko to him, who had been waiting just outside the village for Tsume's arrival.

"Ah, you're Kokoro-chan's niece! I've heard so much about you!"

Anko eyed him suspiciously. "As have I about you, buster."

Jiraiya turned to Tsume. "She seems awfully rude to be a Mitarashi." Kokoro and her brothers had been notoriously polite, smiling and courteous while they ruthlessly extracted information piece by excruciating piece.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Tsume was making hot porridge on the run to feed the two children. She must've picked up some tips from the Uchiha clanswomen. "I've been working with Anko on the curse seal that Orochimaru stuck on her, so I was hoping you'd also take a look at the modifications that Danzo put on it and see how they're holding up."

Jiraiya suspected that Anko probably got her rudeness from Tsume. "I'll see what I can do."

"As long as the seal is the only thing you're checking out on me," Anko added, balancing her hands pointedly on her hips.

Jiraiya coughed. "You're a little too young for me, kid. Come back when you're eighteen, and then we'll talk about the checking out I'd like to do – ow! Did you just pull my hair?"

Anko retreated out of Jiraiya's reach. Some of his white hairs were still caught between her fingers.

"She's a little sensitive," Tsume told Jiraiya as she skidded to a stop. She twisted around to hand the plastic bowels of hot porridge to the two boys. "We need to hold still so the boys can eat safely. I learned that the hard way."

"Is that why Kiba has a black eye?"

"Yeah. Accidentally jabbed himself in the eye with the spoon," Tsume said. She crouched down and quickly cleaned the little sauce pan with water from her canteen. Without saying anything, Kuromaru was instantly beside Tsume. She carefully packed the supplies away in the knapsack that was firmly attached to his harness. Jiraiya was never quite sure how Sakumo managed it, but he always made sure that Tsume had a well-stocked larger with all the appropriate cooking utensils stored in a storage scroll whenever they ran missions.

"So, I take it that you're not bringing the children with you to Kumo." Jiraiya knew why she was going. All of his underground ears indicated that the Raikage required a Hyuuga corpse to keep the peace, although Jiraiya knew that Konoha wasn't going to hand over the Head of the Hyuuga clan himself. He briefly wondered who the substitute was.

"Nope. They'll stay with the team and Kuromaru at Shikotan."

"Wait – so Kuromaru isn't going with you?"

The only time that Tsume ever left Kuromaru behind for missions was when she had to seduce someone. Jiraiya hoped that Tsume wasn't going to try using her siren seal on the Raikage… Ooooh, idea! Maybe he could try something different and put a siren seal on his main villain, so then the seductress would become the seduced.

"The Raikage said only one Konoha nin would be allowed into Kumo. Kuromaru, technically speaking, is a Konoha shinobi." Tsume eyed Jiraiya. "I know what you're thinking, and the Hokage already told me no, I'm not allowed to seduce the Raikage. I'm going to follow the directives to the very letter, won't make any waves or ask any questions, be on my utmost best behavior, and do the delivery just as expected. That's all."

Jiraiya could respect that. There was something to be said about following the letter of the law, even if you assassinated the spirit. "And you decided, since you were in the area, to pop on by with the two people in Konoha whose seals no one else was willing to touch?"

"Danzo touches Anko's seal all the time."

Jiraiya was fairly sure that Danzo's touching was purely professional. The Heaven seal was nothing like the siren seal. "But not Naruto's."

Tsume stayed crouching. She clasped her hands together and looked across the dark horizon, and then at the stars, then she fiddled with Kuromaru's harness. "I didn't ask," she said finally, looking everywhere but at Jiraiya. "I figured that you would be the best one for the job, though, especially when I'm going to need a Thunder God seal on the boys, just in case something happens."

"A what seal?"

Tsume pulled something from her vest pocket as her face lit up with hopeful cheer. Jiraiya hadn't seen one of those daggers in years. "One of these."

The triple-bladed dagger stared at him. Jiraiya felt awkward, like his arms were attached backwards. "Sure, if you don't mind me getting back to you in about a few weeks, Tsume. I'm good, and I can work with Anko and Naruto's seals, but I've studied those structures for years." He didn't want to break apart and discover the secrets of Minato's greatest techniques. The very idea made his insides curl with horror – some secrets should never be broken. "Put it away. I'm not going to do anything about the seal or Minato's kunai."

Jiraiya supposed, as he watched Tsume wilt with disappointment, that an Inuzuka really couldn't understand that some secrets deserved to stay such as a legacy of respect and honor; Tsume was used to only hiding secrets out of shame or necessity. "If it's about protecting your boys, I can assure their safety while you're gone." He hated to see Tsume wilt for any reason – he cherished those souls who managed to shine even in the greatest darkness and despair, and Tsume was one of the few still alive. "Where'd you get that?"

Minato had also shone brightly – quiet, steady, and firm, like velvet-wrapped steel, even on the battlefield.

Tsume turned the dagger around in her hands. "Minato gave it to me, way before the war broke out. One of his first prototypes. He said that if I ever needed him, he'd be there in an instant for me. And the one time I actually used it was the one time he probably wished that I had gone to someone else for help."

"Huh. What happened?"

Tsume flipped the blade and balanced it with the extended middle blade, point down, on the tip of her index finger. The point made an indentation but didn't pierce her skin. "I went into labor when I was out in the field, hauling a legless Suna nin with me."

…. Oh. Well, that explained the comment that Minato had made out of the blue one day to Jiraiya. ("You know, there's a certain joy, a certain satisfaction of bringing life into the world. As a shinobi, I always thought it was about ending life. But it's also about preserving lives, and helping new ones come into being. By the way, I can safely say that I am not cut out to be a midwife. Way too much body fluids and blood involved.")

Anko looked interested. "You mean the Fourth Hokage helped you with Hana-chan's birth?"

"Sort of, but not really. It was kinda a fiasco from the start. Your aunt and Kushina and I, we had a mission to deliver storage scrolls of supplies to Suna, since their supply chain was bottlenecked with how enemy forces were teaming up in the Third Shinobi War. It was really bad for Suna, because for the first time in, like, a hundred years, someone also broke the Water Treaty and poisoned an oasis. Of course, the Suna team didn't realize it was poisoned until they started dropping like flies."

Anko brightened. "Oh, was this were you met Sasori-kun?" Jiraiya vaguely recalled the details of how Sakumo's apprentice managed to rescue and befriend Chiyo's grandson, accidentally strengthening the treaty between Suna and Konoha. They were so incredibly different in personalities and philosophies that their friendship was a mystery to anyone who knew them both. A poisoned oasis was absolutely unheard of sabotage in Wind, not when water was life, and anyone who attempted to sabotage the sources of water were an international concern that needed to be dealt with swiftly and with extreme prejudice. (It was Kiri, he recalled, and Iwa – which was allied with Kiri – was so outraged over the sabotage of an oasis that they turned on Kiri. And because they turned on Kiri, they had no support to fall back to when Minato wiped out over a thousand Iwa nin.)

"Yup. It's also how he lost his legs. Anyway, he was the one survivor, and we figured he would get better medical care in our Konoha hospital than in the Suna hospital after the emergency amputations, so I took Sasori cross-country while Kushina and Kokoro continued onward to Suna with their delivery. Only, halfway through River Country, I went into labor, and Sasori was so not going to help. I used this prototype to summon Minato, because I didn't quite know what else to do. Mooncalf panicked, grabbed us, flashed us back to his team, and had Rin assist me. They were scouting over on the north edge of Fire Country at the time."

Tsume grinned. "Kakashi was so embarrassed. Obito…" A shadow briefly crossed her face, and Tsume scratched Kuromaru behind his ears. "Dear, sweet Obito was more of an assistance to Rin than my own nephew, fetching water and boiling it to get clean rags for Rin, although Obito accidentally burned off his own eyebrows in his haste to light the fire. He and Rin were just these ten year old kids, more used to ending lives than bringing them into the world. Kakashi insisted on keeping watch, but Minato told him that he couldn't keep a successful watch from over a kilometer away. I think that Minato wanted to take the watch. He stayed though, because I really wanted someone's hand to hold. Sasori wound up using his chakra strings to hand Rin the supplies she needed. Sasori isn't all that bad, for an assistant midwife."

Jiraiya could imagine the scene in his mind. It was easy enough – Obito would've been stumbling everywhere, face beet red, but eager to try and help Rin and Tsume. Rin would've been nervous and unsure of herself, having not even yet reached the decision to become a med-nin. Minato would've been hunched over and embarrassed/shy – a common state anytime Sakumo's team was involved, but probably made even worse because of his own youth. Minato had been the youngest jounin to ever have a genin team, at just sixteen years of age. Kakashi would've been hiding, and Tsume – quite naturally – would've been in the very center of activity, the very center of attention. Jiraiya imagined Sasori hanging off to the side, looking very much like he wished the poison had killed him before Team Sakumo reached the oasis, and resigning himself to being the only person who hadn't lost his mind in bumbling panic.

His eyes drifted to Naruto, who was tilted back in his sling and attempting to lick the bowl clean. "More!" Naruto declared, waving the bowl in the air. His face fell when Tsume snatched the bowl away. "Aaaawwww."

"You can have some more when we reach our camp. It's just a snack to tide you over," she said, wetting the bowl with her canteen and wiping it clean with a rag. She did the same with Kiba's bowl, and then quickly cleaned the two little spoons. "These are so much easier to use on the run than chopsticks," she told Jiraiya proudly, before tucking everything securely into Kuromaru's knapsack. She straightened from her crouch, and then stretched her back.

Naruto and Kiba giggled as they swayed in their slings.

"Ready to run?" Tsume asked Anko.

Anko laughed and darted forward. "Last one back is a Suna puppeteer with wooden legs!"

oOoOoOo

"So," Jiraiya began as he looked at the seal blooming on Naruto's stomach, "you drew the short straw?"

Shikake snorted. "Nah. I wanted to gather certain medicinal herbs that only grow in Lightning. It's a rare opportunity to scour Shikotan's different markets. Best scenario, I can make penpal friends who will mail me some of the herbs. After all, I'll just be the unassuming widowed grandfather, watching after my two grandsons. I'll be a hit with all the old ladies in Shikotan while Tsume is away."

The campsite was in a crevice that only had one viable entrance. It would be easy to pin the party in place, except Jiraiya knew that the adults could climb the steep walls up and out as a last resort – the mountains were made up of beige and red shale that crumbled easily with pressure, and would be difficult to scale with chakra. Doing so would require the lightest, most precise touch. At least the single entrance made it easy for Hotaru to defend by sending a wave of deadly kikaichu forward to wipe out any enemy in the event of attack. Years of water runoff from sparse spring melt had left a pile of shale chips and pieces at the bottom of the crevice, and it was highly uncomfortable to kneel on. Scraggly bushes grew in the cracks that lines the crevice's walls, and a single lone pine tree stood in the center, bravely insistent on existing against all odds.

Jiraiya couldn't help but admire that stubborn little pine tree. He liked stubborn things. They were great examples of why people were always living through the worst, persisting in clinging to desperate hope. Success always tasted so much sweeter.

Naruto giggled as Jiraiya's fingers brushed his bellybutton. "Ah. I would've figured that the backup would be a little more… more."

Hotaru snorted. "You mean energetic?" She pointedly did not look at Anko, who was casually climbing the pine tree.

"Well, not exactly." Jiraiya studied the seal modifier that allowed the Kyuubi's chakra to slowly drain and mix with Naruto's chakra. The edges had deteriorated and warped – he didn't know if that was due to someone deliberately tampering with the seal, or because Naruto might have gotten into a situation where he unknowingly used the Kyuubi's chakra to survive. It was causing a higher level of the Kyuubi's caustic chakra to constantly leak, which would explain why Tsume complained about the Kyuubi's scent being so strong. It also probably made people more sensitive to chakra extremely nervous, being so close to Naruto. They could feel the presence of the Kyuubi, but only able to pinpoint it to the three year old child. Naruto's seal needed to be patched up for Naruto's sake, not just for Tsume's sense of smell. "I think I was expecting a more masculine group."

Shikake twitched.

"But it's a very good group. After all," Jiraiya continued as he uncapped his chakra ink, "I trained Hotaru-chan myself. She's an outstanding kunoichi." She had managed to survive everything that her two male teammates hadn't, which didn't really surprise him. The Aburame and the Nara clans had the largest number of living retired ninjas. Probably because they were the clans that produced the most sensible ninjas.

He traced the edge of Naruto's seal for a brief moment, and then reached for his brush. He could shore up the modifier, or tweak it just a little to allow it to expand in times of danger, and then shrink back to its original size when Naruto was no longer in need of the Kyuubi's chakra. He decided on the latter as it was more beneficial – it would prevent deterioration in the future.

"Minato and Osamu always got blamed along with you. I could blend in with the crowd of angry women when they discovered you were peeping in on them at the hot springs," Hotaru said with an amusing lilt in her voice. "And the changing rooms. And the—"

Jiraiya growled and pinned Naruto with his knee. "Yes, yes. Point well taken, Hotaru-chan. Now hold still, brat. You wiggle around like a worm on hook." Naruto flipped over and exposed his bare backside to Jiraiya. Holding the brush between his teeth, Jiraiya righted Naruto around. "Shomeone hold him," he grumbled. Shikake slowly moved to do so.

Anko somersaulted out of the tree, and tried to brush the pine needles free of her clothes. Like the tree itself, the pine needles were stubborn. "I'll never bathe again."

"I tried that," Tsume told Anko. "Never bathing or eating the Uchiha barbeque. My resolve didn't last all that long. Besides, now you smell like pitch, so I definitely wouldn't recommend the whole not-bathing thing." Tsume tied her hair in a ponytail on the top of her head. It was startlingly easy to see the Nara genes in Tsume's face, with the chin and eyes that she had inherited, and the spiky Inuzuka hair that was similar to the Nara hair. Without the Inuzuka clan markings on her face, Tsume looked more of her father than she did of Inuzuka Shinzou. Jiraiya was secretly delighted to see the resemblance.

Anko brushed the back of her neck with her fingertips. "I'm just glad that the snake put my seal on my neck, instead of any lower."

Jiraiya removed his brush and quickly swiped the saliva onto Naruto's discarded coat. "Yeah, well, you're next."

"I don't see why you have to look at it. Danzo-sensei's been keeping on top of the seal."

All the more reason for Jiraiya to double-check it. He wouldn't put it past Danzo to take advantage of a seal that he could experiment different combinations and modifications on. In fact, he really didn't trust Danzo's boundaries and ethics when it came to anything involving Orochimaru. "Never hurts to have a second set of eyes looking over it."

Well, between his former genin student, a chuunin bearing the Heaven seal, one of the greatest living Inuzuka ninken, and an experienced Nara jounin medic, Jiraiya felt certain that anyone who tried to kidnap or do any harm to Tsume's two children while she was gone would wind up very dead, or wishing that they were.

Nonetheless, after patching up Naruto's seal, he summoned two little innocuous toads that could ride along with Naruto and Kiba, and reverse-summon the boys to him in case of danger and loss of the other teammates.

oOoOoOo

Killer B wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen upon his arrival to Shikotan. His brother had given him a rather confused description on what to expect or maybe not to expect, what to look out for, or what ought to be ignored with the Konoha kunoichi he was to accompany, before A finally gave in and allowed Killer B to read the dossier. Reading the dossier really hadn't lessened the confusion before Killer B decided it was high time to depart. (He totally did not run from Kumo. It was a swift departure, in order to make good time. Yeah.)

Killer B's team was currently a small three-man team. He brought along Darui because A had insisted. A said that Darui was less likely to overreact to the impulsive and hot-natured personality that the Konoha nin may or may not be in control of. A also brought along one of his apprentices – a fourteen year old orphaned, barely-official chuunin, named Karui, who really needed to get out more often. Killer B felt sorry for Karui, since she and his other apprentices was always stuck in Kumo at his side, so opportunities for fun and adventure rarely happened. Regardless of his brother's personal misgivings, Killer B felt this was the perfect vacation for both of them.

Shame that his darling Samui and sweet Omoi had to come down with some sort of stomach bug a few days before A gave Killer B the mission, as he otherwise would've brought along all of his cute apprentices. Instead, Samui and Omoi were left in the somewhat-questionable hands of Nii, who was feeling overly maternal. (Nii had said something about her biological clock ticking like an exploding seal with a timer attached to it. Killer B's hasty departure may have been partly due to this announcement – he had seen how Nii was eyeing his next door neighbor, and there was no helping with that level of obliviousness.)

"I ain't scared of no Konoha nin!" Karui declared hotly with a chop of her hand. Her red hair was cropped close to her head, which was a sad sight to Killer B. It was so thin and wispy and she had such an extreme widow's peak that his darling apprentice, with her stern and serious expression, often looked more like a balding old man. Unfortunately, Karui had been keeping her hair severely short ever since Nii accidentally burned it all away two years ago, and no amount of praises, compliments, cajoling, or outright bribery would make Karui change her mind about growing it out. "I don't care if she's the high muckity-muck of trackers or dogs or whatever!"

"Technically," Darui mumbled, "Inuzuka-san is. Of both trackers and dogs."

They stood on a tall bluff that overlooked Shikotan. It was twilight, and the large village was already lighting lanterns. From this distance, Killer B could smell the wool from the textile mills, could hear the click-clacking of the looms and cards that were manned every hour, even through the night. Shikotan was a very busy, sleepless city, centered around the cleaning, prepping, spinning, and weaving of wool into battings, bolts, and garments that were sold to every country on the continent.

The steady stream of visitors, bearing their loads of wool on carts, horses, and pack llamas or alpacas, entered and left the city at all hours, closely crowding the merchants who exported the wool to other garment factories, or to their shops or warehouses in other villages and countries. The large river that flowed past, fed by multiple mountain streams and creeks, was useful for the factory machinations and washing of wool, but too rough and shallow to float barges. Almost all transportation was on two or four legs.

The streets were thick with workers, many from poor, faraway villages, working hard in the factories in order to send money back home. Supplies of food – grains, fruits and vegetables, livestock for meat – were also brought in daily, because the poor soil conditions of shale and clay made it difficult to grow enough food in the surrounding area to feed the sizeable village, although potatoes, turnips, pumpkins, squash, and cabbages seemed to thrive well enough in the soil, despite the north's short growing season.

Killer B didn't need his heightened senses as a jinchuuriki to detect the putrid stench of thousands of humans crammed into close-quarter areas.

The Hokage had chosen well for a town in which his Konoha nin could stay. As a well-populated hub of trade for textiles, owing to having the largest number of textile mills and factories in Lightning, the Konoha nin could easily blend in with very little notice and suspicion. That would mean they were less likely to cause problems in Lightning, and could easily avoid fights with Kumo nin. It could also make it easier for the Konoha nin to get away with causing trouble, though. Shikotan had the highest crime rate of any village in Lightning, after all.

The hard life in the factories was cause for a high turnover of workers, many of whom were lured by the promise of available work and quick money. It was easy to take advantage of the uneducated, backwater bumpkins, and the lure of easy victims brought forth swindlers and scammers of every shape and size. The steady hustle-and-bustle of trade and commerce made Shikotan a hub for black market trades. The criminal underworld thrived there, despite the great number of policemen that the Lightning Daimyo had in Shikotan. It was the rule, not the exception, that the police were as corrupt as the criminals.

The thriving criminal underworld attracted ruthless, unsavory characters from every walk of life, including a number of missing nin from every Hidden Village. And where there was missing nin, so was there a number of hunter nin and bounty hunters. A had as many as ten teams rotating through Shikotan in the past few years, half of them genin, for a thorough experience in stealth, tactics, swindling, pinpoint attacks, and general survival. A selected the most successful teams that went through the rotation for the international chuunin exams, which meant that the Kumo always gave an exceptional showing at the exams. They therefore maintained the pride that the Lightning Daimyo had in his Hidden Village, and steadily attracted business and contracts from other countries.

Killer B shook his head to step away from his train of thought. His primary focus would be on Inuzuka-san. He had never personally met her, although he remembered running away from Inuzuka Natsumi a number of years ago – when the eight-tailed ox demon says to run, one doesn't ordinarily stick around to argue. He had also fought and killed a few Inuzuka women and their ninken during the Third Shinobi War – they were fierce, admirable kunoichi, every bit the fine warriors that he was proud to have fought and defeated, and he looked forward to escorting their Clan Head.

Killer B pulled a slip of paper from his pocket. As he did so, Gyuuki raised its head metaphorically, as if testing scents. I think I know this one, from long ago…

"Our team goes forward / the Konoha nin we meet / at Shepherds Way Inn."

He ignored Karui's comment, snide and under her breath, "I wish Sensei would get over this damn haiku kick."