Author's notes: I didn't mean to go so long without posting anything. My husband has decided that now would be as good a time as any to pack up our house, sell it, and move us 2200 miles/4800km across the US, all while I'm working full time. My stress levels are, needless to say, rather high. (I did agree to this, but had wanted to move after, you know, I have the baby, and not while pregnant. He figured that the market is really great right now, and we'll get more for our home., than if we wait.)

o-o-o

o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o

"This place is the pits," Tsume muttered as she lumbered through the narrow street. Paper lanterns, suspended from ropes that crisscrossed the street, swayed slightly from the air current created by the bustling crowd. Tsume broke a hand that tried riffling through her pocket without looking to see who it was – she could smell the intent just fine without looking – and then secured the straps on her slings a little tighter. She didn't trust her sons not to be kidnapped any more than her empty wallet to remain undisturbed in her pocket.

There was a shriek of pain behind her. Tsume didn't look, and neither did the people in the crowd that she pushed through.

"Anko!" Hotaru's voice was sharp. "That's the second eye you've jabbed out tonight!"

"And that's the fifth attempt someone made at pinching my knapsack!" Anko contended. "The next person I'm just going to castrate!" At that loud announcement, the crowd seemed to do some hasty thinning.

"At least do it where the blood isn't going to hit my coat. I didn't bring a spare."

"You'd think these idiots would know better than the pick a nin's pocket. I thought this was the cesspit of missing nin!" Anko's declaration was followed by another shriek of pain. "Yeah, see if you ever try to pull that move again, buster!"

Tsume whined. "Why aren't we in the nicer part of town?"

"Because," Shikake mumbled, "the Hokage said a nicer place wasn't in our pay-grade or budget." Shikake walked ahead and just to Tsume's left, his head ducked and his body languid as he slipped through the crowd, easily gliding into areas that Tsume would've thought had no room for anyone. Kuromaru followed Shikake, and no one bothered to try stealing from Kuromaru. The sharp-studded harness, the Konoha forehead protector displayed openly from around his throat, and the bristling fur at his haunches all indicated that he was far more deadly than the average two-legged predator roaming the streets at the moment.

Wait… not in their pay-grade? The next time that Tsume had to haul one of their dead family members to a foreign village to be turned over as part of the price for peace, Tsume was going to bully Hyuuga Hiashi into paying for a five-star resort with personal masseuses and onsite daycare.

Kiba screamed bloody murder as someone snatched his stuffed puppy away.

Tsume winced as she heard bones cracking beneath the screams, before Kiba settled quietly when Anko handed the stuffed puppy back. "Should be ashamed of yourself," Anko said, her voice distance because her back was turned to Tsume, "trying to steal from a toddler! Go pick on an adult your own size – like that bouncer at the bar, over there."

"Can we travel on the rooftops next time?" Tsume whined again. She wished now that she had bugged, annoyed, and otherwise forced Jiraiya to slap the Flying Thunder God Seal on her sons. She felt extremely uncomfortable with the idea of leaving her two sons behind in this village, even if they were going to be under the reliable care of Shikake and Hotaru. Hotaru could instantly disappear with the boys in a moment of danger, evading any and all attempts to track them, Kuromaru would stay at the boys' side at all times to act as defender, and Shikake and Anko would ruthlessly dispatch any danger that attempted to follow. It also made Tsume feel marginally better that Jiraiya was only a deliberate half-day away from entering Shikotan after them, so he could maintain a close watch on the boys.

"No. Rooftops would have a higher number of shinobi. Most of the people down here are civilians – even the low-lives."

Tsume wished she had known exactly what kind of place Shikotan was like. She had never been to the village before, but had thought it was be more like drab, dismal Tetsuzanshi. The iron smelters there required a workforce with a higher skill level than the textile mills, which meant that the turnover wasn't as high, and many of the miners stayed in camps close to the mines. The workforce for Shikotan didn't live in specialized camps set up outside the village, but were instead all crammed within the stone walls. Its population was roughly the same as Konoha's, and it dwelled in a space only a third in size.

If Tsume had known that Shikotan was like this, she almost gladly would've left Naruto and Kiba with Danzo. As it was, if she had known that she was going to be up and close and personal with these reeking odors, she would've tried talking to Hokage into sending someone with a less keen olfaction. She was at the lowest her sensitivity could go, and it still wasn't enough to keep the horrendous stench from clogging her nostrils. She was going to be smelling the stink for years.

"We're almost there." No one seemed to try stealing from Shikake. Tsume wondered if there was some sort of secret signal that he was giving off, something that said, touch this and die a death in which no one will ever discover your remains. She was jealous. (Tsume elbowed the next pickpocket hard in the side, and then twisted the pickpocket's nose as he doubled forward in breathless surprise.)

Two long, agonizing minutes later, they found themselves in front of a suspicious establishment. Tsume could smell the drunken revelry before she even heard it. Just as Shikake approached the front door, the large window shattered as a body flew through it, plowed through seven other people on the street, , and finally collided with the wall on the other side of the street. After a brief heartbeat, nine other people flew out of the window, also colliding with the wall, and another six desperate crawled over the shattered glass to escape. Their fear was rancid and their eyes wide as they dashed around the Konoha nin.

A blond giant loomed in the window, his sunglasses glinting ominously in the questionable lamp light. "Anyone else care / to cross and double-deal here / and meet my fury?"

A tiny person with wonderfully red hair popped up beside the giant's elbow and squeaked, "Yeah! Yeah! So there!"

Shikake straightened into a comfortable slouch. "Killer B, I presume?" he asked.

The giant folded his hands and glared down at them – he had an odd dual scent, similar to Naruto's after Jiraiya had tinkered with the seal, that was primarily human with a hint of bull, mixed with a personal scent of freshly-washed linen and boysenberries. For all the ferocious glare that he gave over the rim of his sun glasses, his emotions smelled placid and calm. Shikake wasn't particular tall, especially for a Nara, and Hotaru and Anko were even shorter than Tsume. (And Tsume had made sure that her ponytail sat at the highest point of her head, which officially made her exactly 0.8 cm taller than her father. When he was slouching.) "You must be ninja / from the depths of hidden leaves / long distance traveled," the giant replied.

Shikake squinted, almost unsure of how to respond to the odd speech patterns. Tsume's interactions with Kumo nin was limited, given that lengthy conversations in a clashing battle were rare, so she was unsure if this was typical.

Naruto, Jiraiya's toad sitting on his hair, waved from around Tsume's shoulders. "Hi! You're funny. I like you!"

That was cue for Kiba, his face tear-streaked from briefly losing his stuffed puppy. "I wanna go home, Mommy!" Kiba then nibbled on her ponytail.

Tsume decided that standing out in the street and breaking questing hands was for the birds. "Hi there," she said as she walked forward, and then slipped through the broken window. She carefully squeezed past the giant and his miniature pipsqueak (gosh, that one had the most unfortunately thin hair; for once, Tsume was grateful that she had looked like a rabid hedgehog when she was that age), and trudged to where the innkeeper stood close by, looking appalled at his broken window. "I'm starving, and I hope you don't plan on serving me that rancid slop over there." She pointed at the bubbling cauldron that hung over the smoky fireplace.

The innkeeper puffed up with indignation, wiping his hands on the filthy apron he wore. "Madam, I serve the finest rabbit stew in all of Shikotan! The rabbits are fat and juicy, the potatoes and cabbage ripened to perfection, and the broth seasoned with the finest spices that Lightning has to offer!"

Most of the common area was empty of witnesses. A few cowed factory workers huddled over their clay bowls, a trio of hard-faced policemen sat unmoved from the table in the corner that was covered with empty sake bottles, and a dark-skinned Kumo nin was seated on a long bench beside an overturned table, blowing to cool off his bowl of said finest rabbit soup.

Tsume wrinkled her nose. "And be up all night long because the rancid rabbit meat and the putrid cabbage gave my sons explosive diarrhea? No, thank you." The Kumo nin froze in mid-puff, eyed his rabbit stew, and then set it on an upright table to his left with a sad sigh. It occurred to Tsume that the innkeeper had the power to toss her team to the streets for being insulted and his rabbit stew revealed, so she lightly punched the innkeeper in the shoulder, just like she jokingly punched her comrades and teammates. "Fetch me that raccoon you've got tucked in your kitchen along with that a bag of turnips, and I'll make something decent." Turnips weren't standard fare for Konoha, but Tsume had developed a taste for them during her stay at Tetsuzanshi.

The innkeeper eyed the blond giant nervously. "Er, what raccoon?"

"The raccoon that's only been dead this morning. The meat will still be questionable since the raccoon has been dumpster diving more than Sak… well, more than someone else I know, but at least it hasn't spoiled yet. Nothing that a bunch of barbeque sauce won't take care of, at least."

The giant loomed over the Innkeeper, leaking killing spirit. "Feed us poor menus? / You should be deeply ashamed / bring us decent food!"

The innkeeper bowed and backed away slowly, apologizing profusely.

Tsume turned and tilted her head to the giant. "Inuzuka Tsume, Konoha kunoichi."

"Killer B, Kumo shinobi."

Whoa. Kumo had sent out the big guns, hadn't they? Wait – that meant Tsume was going to be accompanied by their jinchuuriki, whom she had never met or even seen before. This is soooooo cool! Minato had told her all about the fight he had with A and B! Tsume couldn't wait until she was home to tell Kokoro and Sakumo all about meeting Killer B. She quickly reminded herself that she wasn't allowed to do a happy dance in public. "These are my sons, Naruto and Kiba." Tsume lifted a hand and pointed at each one as they were named. Killer B's gaze lingered for a while on Naruto, as if trying to figure out where he'd seen Naruto before. It was a good thing Tsume had dyed mini-Mooncalf's bright blond hair. "I normally don't bring my children along, and they won't be coming with me to Kumo – they'll stay with the rest of my team and my ninken here, awaiting my return."

Tsume felt Kuromaru join her side, his snout brushing the back of her leg. She tried not to show her eager excitement at meeting Killer B or his tailed demon. She wondered if the Hachibi was stronger than the Kyuubi – then Tsume decided, nah, couldn't be. There was a whole tail difference in power, right? Eight was a smaller number than nine, and Tsume knew that larger numbers meant more, and everyone knew that more was bigger, and bigger meant stronger. (After all, Tsume told herself, the Juubi was greater in strength than any of the other tailed demons, because he had ten tails.)

Tsume was feeling very proud of herself for her mathematical logic when her teammates, being much more civilized, entered the inn through the front door. Except Anko, who was no more civilized than the rest of the Inuzuka clan. Anko came through the broken window just as her sort-of aunt had. "These are my teammates, who shall stay here and await my return. Nara Shikake, Aburame Hotaru, and Mitarashi Anko."

Killer B studied them for a moment, before his gaze returned to Naruto once more. The young girl, her face bravely set and her Kumo forehead protector tied crookedly to her forehead, glared at the Konoha nin. Then Killer B indicated the bench where the other Kumo nin. "Come, sit with us here / We have us much to discuss / Konoha ninja."

Killer B seated himself beside the other Kumo nin, crossing his arms sternly. Tsume had expected such a large man to lumber with heavy footsteps, but he had a gliding, graceful walk that was silent, even when treading on the creaking floor. She was instantly jealous, because she made a lot of noise with her squabbling burden. She carefully untied the slings, and felt Hotaru lift it free from her shoulders. "I'll start cooking if you want to set the boys up," Tsume said.

"Sure." Hotaru smiled at the boys as her kikaichu buzzed from the close contact of other humans.

Shikake sat in a chair beside the brown-skinned Kumo nin and sprawled, as if his energy just evaporated – which it probably did, Tsume considered, as she made her way into the kitchen to get cooking utensils. Anko shoved several benches and chairs in a sloppy circle so the ninjas could have a comfortable meeting space that wouldn't be interfered by other patrons of the inn.

"Hey – hey! You can't be in here!" The innkeeper shook his fist as Tsume.

"I just thought I'd grab some things…"

The innkeeper frogmarched Tsume out. "You can ask, like any other paying costumer. You can't just barge in here like you own the place – I don't care what sort of Hidden Village you're from!" He glared, arms crossed, until Tsume reluctantly sat down on the only free space on the bench beside the young Kumo kunoichi.

Killer B eyed Tsume.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"Nothing to my mind / questions I'll save to the last / after our dinner."

Tsume had a feeling that she would have to share the raccoon and turnips with more than just her own teammates. That would be okay, she figured, since the usual way of making friends is offering good food, and she did want to come back from Kumo alive and in one good piece.

oOoOoOo

All agreed that while raccoon and turnips weren't the standard fare, at least Tsume was a good cook, and was not likely to give those who ate her fare explosive diarrhea. "I'm surprised," Darui said around a mouthful of mashed buttered turnips. "Usually, the other Konoha nin are lousy cooks."

Karui glared at him as she gnawed a bone clean. Firelight glinted in her golden eyes. "That's because the other Konoha nin are dead."

Killer B set his plate to the side. "A delicious fare / fit for the greatest of kings / great simplicity." He had stopped staring at Naruto half-way through their meal.

What does that even mean? Tsume wondered as she sucked the marrow out of her collection of bones. Hotaru effortlessly ignored everyone as she concentrated on her food, her manners neat and precise as she ate her food with the ivory chopsticks that she always brought along on missions.

"Shaddup, sensei," Karui hissed. "You're embarrassing me!"

Tsume pried the rib bones out of Naruto and Kiba's fists as they attempted to stab each other. Kiba pouted, and Naruto sulked without their makeshift weapons. "If you're going to poke each other, use something decent. Food is meant to be eaten; prey can be played with." She gave the boys chopsticks instead. The boys studied their new utensils for a moment, and then eagerly resumed poking each other.

Shikake sighed. "How'm I going to spoil them when you're already doing it?"

"Dunno. You'll think of something though, I'm sure of it."

"We'll have fun!" Anko declared with a full mouth. She tried to give Naruto a high five, but got stabbed in the palm with his chopstick. "Hey!"

"We have much to talk / to discuss important things / before we depart."

Tsume chewed on the rib bones that she had snagged from the boys. "Sure. But can you do it in a way that I can follow?" She tapped her forehead. "It's no secret at all that I've got memory and learning problems." Tsume was going to use her simplicity to her best advantage – the more the Kumo nin believed that she wasn't so sharp, the more they would overestimate her. People tended to be looser-lipped around those they perceived to be idiots. Luckily, Tsume thought, playing the idiot didn't require a lot of practice or careful thinking.

("No acting is ever needed when it comes so naturally to you.")

Killer B studied her again, and then sighed. "Very well. I intend to leave first thing in the morning, but it's important to know if this—" he indicated the whole of Tsume "—is all that you brought along. We're going into the higher northern altitudes, where the wind will tear your frozen flesh from your bones, where the snow is deeper than the buildings of Konoha. I want to make sure that you're well-equipped before we leave." He paused for a brief moment, and then flashed her a shark-toothed grin. "I promise to bring you back, but I'm sure that you'd prefer to do so with all your fingers and toes intact."

His companions stared at Killer B with wide-eyed surprise. Tsume hoped it was due to him speaking like a normal person, and not because he promised to bring Tsume back. She noticed that he failed to mention that she would be brought back alive. She hoped that was just an oversight on his part. "I think I should be okay, but if I have to, I guess I can do some early morning shopping then. Do we have time?"

Without saying anything, Darui snagged a knapsack resting on the floor behind the bench he was seated upon, and tossed it to her. Tsume caught it – it was bulky and felt squishy, and smelled almost as bad as the air outside.

"We packed for you," Killer B said.

"Yeah!" Karui hastily wiped the remnants of her buttered turnips away from her mouth. "Can't expect you tropical wimps to dress properly for the cold!"

Tsume wasn't repulsed by or reluctant to face the cold; she enjoyed the crisp chill of winter, and loved doing missions to the Land of Snow. Of course, the largest difference between Kumo and the Land of Snow was the altitude – Kumo was said to be nestled in the mountains at approximately 5.2 kilometers above sea level. In contrast, Konoha was about 150 meters above sea level, but at least the very flat Land of Snow (where Tsume had done a six month stint of protection detail and tutorship of the twin daughters of the Snow Daimyo's head advisor) was about 2.5 kilometers above sea level. Surely there couldn't be that much difference in altitude, because 2.5 kilometers wasn't a far distance to run.

Anko twitched. "Tropical wimps? After the cold snap we had last week? Just who're you calling wimps, you little shrimp?"

"Better a shrimp than a plum! Izzat your real hair?"

Anko stuck her tongue out. "At least I have hair."

Karui's cheeks burned bright red as she hunched down, growling. She turned a scathing look on Hotaru, who was reaching for a third helping of turnips. "What are you looking at, you bug-eyed freak?"

Hotaru smiled as she spooned a heaping serving onto her place. "Why, thank you. That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever called me." Her kikaichu buzzed as a few crawled from her hair line across her cheek, over the bridge of her nose, and slid into her ear. Karui's face scrunched up in disgust.

Tsume sifted through the bag, and pulled out a fur-backed cloak that was as wide as she was tall. It smelled musty and half-rotten, and she could almost swear she saw fleas in the fur. She doubted that she'd get Hotaru to convince the fleas to go elsewhere. "Gee. You guys shouldn't have." She brought out a pair of fur boots that were twice as large as she needed. She sniffed, and then made a face. "Woo. Someone had really bad athlete's foot." She pinched them between her fingers and dropped them on the floor beside Kuromaru. "You need to bury these in the deepest hole you can find."

Killer B huffed. "Those boots belonged to the Raikage himself!"

Aside from the fact that Tsume could smell a lie, she was pretty sure that she knew what A smelled like (based on the scents of other people that Minato had been coated with as he described his fight with A and B to Tsume and Kushina), and these boots did not smell of A. "Better tell him to use foot powder then," she said, blithely. She sensed Killer B's killing intent boiling beneath the calm exterior, and wondered if he was trying to test her.

Tsume stuffed everything back into the knapsack. "Well, I thank you for your thoughtfulness and generosity, but I brought along clothes to keep me to warm, and I've got sturdy, double-insulated boots. If I need anything extra while we're traveling, I'll be sure to let you know. So, how long are we going to be gone?"

"Two weeks."

Tsume and Shikake exchanged looks. Shikake leaned forward and gave Killer B a piercing look. "It was my understanding that Kumogakure was only four days' travel from here. Why would the trip take so much longer?"

"Four days taking the main route, yes, which is difficult and dangerous for well-seasoned Kumo nin to travel during the winter, much less for inexperienced Konoha nin. High risk of avalanches, deceptive ice traps – we'll need to take a more roundabout route. It's longer, but safer, and we still need to travel slow so we can avoid possible elevation sickness – it's quite common in lowlanders who aren't acclimated. You Konoha nin are not used to the treacherous northern region, especially during the winter."

Tsume could smell the truth of that. There was a reason that Kumo had never been successfully invaded before. They were safely tucked away among the highest peaks, with most of the known passes blocked by snow and ice during the winter, making invasions almost impossible. During the summer, Tsume imagined that the Kumo nin were so eager to get out that they mowed over anyone trying to sneak in and attack them, and just let the frequent summer thunderstorms strike down any survivors. Minato had once mentioned, somewhat facetiously at the time, that the reason that Kumo was taking advantage of the Third War to invade and take over other countries was to find a home that didn't make Forsaken and Desolate warm and cuddly in comparison.

"Oh, and I'm afraid I must only permit that you are only minimally armed."

Tsume was actually surprised that he was allowing her even that concession, and didn't specify what she could or couldn't have. She supposed that Killer B figured she would try packing along something anyway and figured it was best to permit such as long as it wasn't enough arsenal to take out Kumo itself. Well, no matter. She had Aunt Natsumi's ax safely tucked away in a storage scroll and a dozen kunai on hand – and multiple summons; she didn't bring much more than that. Danzo had always taught Tsume that her greatest weapons should be her own body and mind.

Tsume stood and pulled Naruto and Kiba into her arms. "Well, then, since I'm going to be gone for so long, I'm going to go tuck my boys into bed with me, and we'll spend the evening bonding together… just mother and sons. Good evening!"

"Tsume is a good mother," she heard Anko snidely declare as she left the dining room for the single room that the Konoha nin would be sharing. "She'd mother anything – even little misfits or monsters like you."

Karui gurgled in rage. "Why you—! I'd sooner die than have anything to do with the likes of Konoha!"

"Yeah, is that so? Then why don't you, huh?"

Tsume ducked into their room for the night just as she heard breaking wood, and figured that Shikaku and Hotaru could handle the situation. She felt Killer B's gaze on her long after she left.

oOoOoOo

Kagami had a set schedule. Every morning after awaking at the same time, he would spend a breathless ten minutes pulling on his compression stockings. His daughter often tried to talk to him about providing assistance, but Kagami refused, stating very firmly that he was going to keep doing what he could as long as he could. ("The moment I stop, I lose what I have.") Then he'd rest and catch his breath before taking another breathless ten minutes getting dressed. He still insisted on tying his own traditional knots, mainly to keep the dexterity in his aching fingers.

Once that was finished, he would make the short trip into his kitchen where he would already find the still-warm breakfast that Mikoto or Itachi would've delivered while he was getting on his compression stockings. The tea kettle would already be on the stove although the burner would be turned off, and his supplies carefully set up on a rolling cart. As much as he appreciated not having to make breakfast, Kagami considered making his own tea a sacred duty. His wife would help, if she were present, but she had taken to frequently traveling out of Konoha, hunting down obsolete oral histories to transcribe and publish. He delighted in seeing his wonderful Fumiko pursuing her passion, and encouraged her to continue it long after his earthly time had finished.

This morning was different. The kitchen was unusually chilly, which meant that breakfast would be chilly, because his back door was open. Sakumo sat in the open doorway with his back facing Kagami, looking as clean and groomed as Kagami was used to seeing. Sakumo usually only popped over after being nabbed for his monthly spit-and-shine, and often avoided the rest of the Uchiha clan. Darling Mikoto made it a point to have Sasuke toddle up to Sakumo and drop a wrapped bento into his lap, since the young children and Kagami were the only Uchiha that Sakumo allowed to approach when he was on clan grounds. From the looks of it, Sakumo had missed a bento or four.

Without saying a word, Kagami started his morning tea ritual, making sure that he had an extra cup on hand. He had to sit half-way through for a brief rest, but that was standard. Then he had to fetch his winter cloak from the closet because he wasn't used to the cold. Once everything was prepared, he divided breakfast into two, placed everything on his rolling cart, and pushed it over to Sakumo.

There were plenty of people in Sakumo's life to shower him with love and concern. Kagami was just satisfied to be that little oasis where Sakumo could be himself without fear, concern, or shame of how he couldn't be the man he once was. After all, Kagami couldn't be the man he once was, either. He hadn't aged well or gracefully, and his heart – which Tobirama had once said was too big for Kagami's own good sometimes – was bound to finish failing him in the next year or so.

Kagami was a man whose body was dying, and he wasn't so sure that Sakumo's mind or spirit weren't doing likewise.

("As odd as it may seem, Danzo, Sakumo and I are kindred spirits."

"I believe that, actually. If I were to be honest – and only because of generous sake you've shared with me – I think that's why Sakumo has always been my favorite subordinate. And if you ever tell anyone that, I will kill you."

"Ah. So, is he like your favorite the way that you were Tobirama's favorite? Don't glare at me. You both are rather cruel to the people you favor. It's actually the norm to pamper your favorite, you clod, not sadistically torture them.")

Sakumo sat crosslegged, unmindful of the cold despite the thin, well-worn rags he wore. He was intently studying the shougi board sitting beside him with half the pieces replaced with white and black go stones.

"Looks like no one's winning this one," Kagami said as he carefully sat down on the other side of the shougi board. His edematous legs disallowed kneeling at this point in his life, even with the support stockings.

"Mmmm. No, I suppose not." Sakumo shoved a pile of shougi pieces and white go stones over to Kagami, indicating them to be Kagami's game pieces. He quietly accepted the tea that Kagami gave him without drinking any, and ignored the offered plate of food.

Kagami silently shrugged and scraped the contents onto his plate. No sense in wasting perfectly good food when he knew that Sakumo wouldn't eat if he didn't accept food the first time. "Shall we start from the beginning, or resume the current game?"

Sakumo stared at the board, bemused. Then he touched one of the go stones with the twisted, scarred fingers of his left hand. Kagami kept his gaze politely trained elsewhere. "I don't… I don't remember wh-where I belong."

"No worries; I have no idea where I'm going. We can make this journey together." Kagami carefully sorted through the stones, separating them into two piles. He gave the white stones to Sakumo, because Sakumo had always been partial to anything that was the same color as his hair. "We'll just start from the beginning. There's never anything wrong with a fresh start."

Sakumo rubbed the surface of the go stone before he set it down on the board. "It's cold," he whispered. He stuffed his twisted fingers in his mouth, almost as if suckling them, and whimpered.

"It would have to be, my friend, just to make it snow." Kagami was always careful to keep his part of the conversation limited to the weather and whatever kind of strange game that Sakumo had brought around. Sakumo sometimes brought board games, other times card games, and once a Monopoly game that used Yahtzee score cards and die instead of bank money. Kagami didn't know if Sakumo just brought along whatever he scavenged from the dumpsters, or if it was an oddly-coded message that only Sakumo, in his twisted paranoia and shattered mind, could understand. Kagami always tried to reason through and guess the odd rules that Sakumo was never able to explain, and often it seemed like Sakumo was trying to pass him a warped and cryptic message. Of course, as a shinobi, everything was a warped and cryptic message trying to be passed on.

Sakumo dropped his hand from his mouth. "My move?" he asked. He snagged a black go stone from Kagami's pile, a shougi piece from his own pile – a knight – and stacked them together in the left corner. After a moment, he shook his head and pushed them to the opposite side of the board. "They belong there."

"It's a powerful combination." Kagami had a lifetime of keeping his voice neutral in even the oddest of situations. Natsumi and Tobirama had given him many opportunities to practice a blasé attitude, after all.

"The go stone can go anywhere," Sakumo explained as he ducked his head. He peeked shyly at Kagami, before he busied himself with timidly sorting his shougi and go pieces into separate piles. His cheeks burned red with embarrassment. "It's not limited by rules, movements, or expect-expect-expectations. It's simple, and that's okay."

Kagami had a feeling that Sakumo wasn't talking about an actual go stone. "Naturally. Life needs simple things."

"S-simple people." Sakumo rolled a go stone in his hand before he held it out to Kagami. There was a significant chip in the stone, an obvious flaw in its smooth structure. The edges of the chip were rough and uneven. "This is my favorite." Sakumo's voice took on a desperate edge as he hunched his shoulders. "That's… that's okay, right?"

After a (delayed) heartbeat, Kagami folded Sakumo's fingers so the stone was enclosed safely within the palm of his hand. "It's all right to loved flawed objects. Perfection isn't worthy of love, because perfection doesn't need love." Kagami shaped his message, hoping that Sakumo would hear the warped, cryptic message. "Even broken things have a place and purpose in life, so cherish this lovely little flawed stone. After all, perfect go stones can be found anywhere. This? You'll never find another like it."

Sakumo's smile was bright even as his eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I know. I know."

oOoOoOo

Shikake gently shook Tsume awake. She yawned, snuggled down against the two boys sleeping curled up in her arms, and then groaned. The air seemed cold against her face, and she heard the whistling of wind outside the window. With the smell of snow following closely behind, Tsume knew she was going to be heading out into a brewing winter storm.

At least the snow smelled infinitely better than the village. Tsume rolled upright, to her feet and out of bed, without disturbing her two sons. She bent backwards slightly, arching her spine, and felt the pulling stretch in her spine. "Two weeks, huh?" she asked, rolling her head. Her neck popped a few times.

Shikake stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We'll wait two weeks, unless Hotaru's kikaichu report something happened. If they don't report anything at the end of two weeks, I'll leave Hotaru here to wait for you." It was technically not allowed to leave a single nin behind when it wasn't a solo or seductive mission, unless that nin was an Inuzuka (because she always had her ninken companion) or an Aburame, who was a colony in and of themselves.

"Right." Tsume yanked back Anko's covers, and then gently placed the boys on either side. Anko cracked her eyes open, murmured good luck, shifted around until the well-worn stuffed rabbit that-was-so-totally-not-Mister-Nap-chan was firmly tucked under her chin, and then pulled her blanket up around the two fuzzy heads. Then she squeaked when two little toads crawled out of the boys' pajamas and hopped up so they were perfectly balanced on her modest chest.

In the shadow of the room where she had been keeping watch, Hotaru waved her hand. Three more kikaichu buzzed across the room to hide in Tsume's hair. Tsume wondered if she was beginning to cultivate her own colony. "I'll keep them fed," she promised.

"I know. My kikaichu think you're the best to travel with, since they never go hungry."

Tsume didn't think that any ally or resident of Konoha should go hungry, even if it meant that the kikaichu had to bite to draw blood for access to her chakra. The plus side of feeding the kikaichu was that her chakra rendered them undetectable to sensors, since the kikaichu would read as identical to her. Tsume turned to Shikake and engulfed him in a tight hug. They hadn't had the opportunity to speak privately during the trip, but it was a rare treat to spend so much time just being in the presence of her sire.

"Remember what the Hokage told you," Shikake whispered in her ear.

Since those in hearing already knew and Hotaru had already ensured that no one was eavesdropping, Tsume repeated that Danzo had forced her to memorize word-for-word before he let her leave Konoha. "'Deliver the cargo safely. Do not deviate from our agreed parameters. Do not start an international incident. And for the love of all dead Hokages, do not seduce the Raikage.'" Personally, Tsume felt that last was a little overkill, because she had absolutely no intention of using her seal anywhere in Lightning.

"Good girl." Shikake patted the small of Tsume's back, and then reached up to brush a few wild locks of hair from her forehead so he could press his chapped lips against it. "Jiraiya will be in later today and will tighten the security around your sons. If anything happens to the rest of us, he'll get them safely to Konoha."

"I know." It had been risky to bring Naruto and Kiba along on this mission, but Tsume was grateful that Jiraiya had been able to tweak Naruto's seal. She hadn't been able to smell the Kyuubi singularly ever since, which meant that the seal was working properly – she had never smelled the Kyuubi on Kushina, even with her strongest olfaction. "I'll try to be good."

"And if you can't?"

"I won't get caught."

"And if you do?" Hotaru asked from her corner.

Tsume grinned and wagged her fingers at Hotaru. "I won't leave any witnesses!"

Tsume secured Mooncalf's forehead protector to her upper left arm, and then quickly put on her customary face paints with the aid a small hand mirror and what little light from the street lamps successfully filtered through the filthy windows. After grabbing her pack, which Tsume had double-checked and repacked last night, Tsume kissed Kuromaru on the top of his head, and then left the small inn room they all shared. The stairs creaked beneath her weight as she made her way down to the common area, where the Kumo nin sat waiting for her beside the fireplace. Killer B was squatting instead of sitting, and he didn't look up as he fed the fire another scoop of coal.

Karui gave Tsume a scathing glare. "Is that all you're going to wear?" she asked snidely, crossing her arms in front of herself and puffing up tall.

Tsume looked down, pleased for once than someone was shorter than she was. She resisted the urge to affectionately ruffle that sad, sorry thin hair. "Inuzuka women have been running around in the wilderness half-naked on for centuries. I'm sure I'll be fine with the layers I've got on." Aunt Natsumi had personally taught Tsume the jutsu on how to circulate her chakra for more body warmth, so Tsume figured that she'd get through this without any frostbite.

Darui eyed Tsume. "The Inuzuka are native to Fire Country."

Semantics. Fire Country could get cold too, and it wasn't like their hunting grounds didn't take her ancestors across the borders whenever they got bored with the local produce, prey, or men. "I'll be fine. I hereby absolve you Kumo nin from providing me clothes." Especially with how badly the offered clothes had smelled last night.

Killer B remained where he was, staring the fire. "Why do you have kikaichu on you?" His voice was like a rumbling earthquake. "The Raikage explicitly said no nin with bloodline limits."

Uh oh. Tsume hoped that Killer B was just making a wild guess, but it would probably still be a bad thing to lie. "I don't have a bloodline limit. The kikaichu are just there as an extra precaution. They'll bring back word to Konoha if Kumo decides to hell with it, and offs me even though I'll be on my very best behavior. Besides, no matter what the Aburame feel, the kikaichu aren't real nin, like my dogs. We wouldn't be able to make forehead protectors small enough for them, anyway."

Killer B threw his head back and laughed. "Fair enough."

"But, sensei…!"

"She's still within the specified parameters," Killer B said as he straightened from his crouch, towering above everyone. He grinned and ruffled Karui's hair. "It's my brother's own damned fault if he didn't say that the Konoha nin couldn't bring along any riders."

"Then why doesn't she bring her dog?" Karui demanded.

Kuromaru was a Konoha shinobi, sworn and true, but Tsume wasn't going to elaborate that to any hotheaded youngster. It wasn't her place to educate foreign non-allied shinobi, and it really wasn't her place to be giving out information, even if it wasn't restricted Intel. "He's going to stay and watch my sons – they're part of the Pack, too. Can we go now? The sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back."

Karui jumped to her feet and stomped past Tsume, deliberately bumping Tsume hard with a pointy shoulder. "What kind of mother would bring along her crotch droppings to an enemy country?" Karui demanded, not quite under her breath, but certainly meant to be heard. Tsume mentally shrugged that off as Darui brushed past her with more finesse. Killer B gestured to the door that Karui slammed through.

"After you, Inuzuka-san."

Tsume turned her back on him just as his killing spirit began to deliberately leak. "Thanks." She felt a delightful thrill race up and down her spine at the idea of having the Hachibi's jinchuuriki at her back, and refrained from giggling with excitement. So cool! She bet that Naruto would grow up to be even cooler though, and he wouldn't need any stupid sunglasses to do it.

Naruto also wouldn't have that silly daydreaming look that earned Minato his nickname as Mooncalf. Instead, Naruto would look like Kushina did – gentle, or sly, depending on her mood. Although Tsume supposed it wouldn't be so bad if Naruto had Minato's soft smile, the one that was so warm and unassuming, that made Tsume feel like someone just liked her for who she was, and didn't care if she was stupid or forgetful or reckless.

And Kiba would grow up with Naruto, so it would be just like having a miniature, male-version of Tsume hanging out with a miniature male-version of Kushina. Gosh, it wasn't wrong to want to live vicariously through one's children, right?

"Are you daydreaming?" Karui demanded suspiciously as Tsume absently followed after her new companions.

"Nope." Tsume wished she could daydream, but the streets were already becoming crowded with the early morning shift leaving for the factories, the merchants preparing to load up their goods for an early leave from town, the last little bit of last night's drunken revelries finally picking themselves out of the filthy gutters, patrolling nin and police teams, and the occasional cutthroat and small-time criminal taking advantage of the most vulnerable in the crowds. It was substantially less crowded than last night, but still more people than Tsume was used to seeing bunched together outside of festivals or Market Day in Konoha. It also meant that she still had to guard her purse (alas, still quite empty) if she wanted to keep it.

Tsume then realized that she hadn't seen any prostitutes working the street last night, or even right now. "Is there a red light district around here?" she asked Killer B. He had taken the lead, moving through the crowd with a lethal grace that made oncoming foot traffic immediately part to make room.

"Why? Looking to get laid?" Karui asked snidely. Karui had fallen back to follow Tsume at an uncomfortably close distance. It would make slipping a kunai through Tsume's ribs alarmingly easy, and it didn't help that Karui stank of malicious violence just waiting to happen.

Tsume was saved from having to answer because Darui spoke. "She's does traditional kunoichi work, Karui. Something you'll manage to avoid because of your apprenticeship with Killer B – getting laid probably isn't going to be high on her priorities."

"Traditional…? Oh. Wanted to scope out the competition, did ya?"

Actually, Tsume did make it a habit to sneak some spare change into the pocket of the whore who smelled the most destitute – it was a good way to get reliable gossip on the down and low when doing a seduction mission. "Sure. Never know when you might have to horn in on someone else's territory. There's a certain list of ethics and rules that's gotta be followed, you know?" Tsume mulled a bit, trying to remember some of what Kokoro used to ramble on about. "Like whether the party of the first part is agreeable to shared boundaries with the party of the second part, in which the consumers for the goods of the first part and second part stay within the confines of the agreement, as defined by…"

By the time they were outside the village and cresting on a faraway slope that overlooked the valley, Tsume was still rambling, and the eyes of Darui and Karui had glazed over from mind-numbing boredom. Tsume couldn't tell what was going on behind Killer B's sunglasses.

"…and then after the party of the first has declared its intent against the parties of the fourth and seventh, then the party of the second may declare a limited amount of territory—"

"AAARGH!" Karui slapped her hands over her ears, leaped past Tsume with chakra-enhanced feet that left ankle-deep footprints in the frozen ground, and planted herself in front of Killer B, forcing the party to stop moving lest she be run over. "Sensei! Make her stop!"

Killer B was rocking his head as if to music only he could hear. He went still, and then removed some stuffing from his ears. "You say something, my dear apprentice?"

Karui whimpered and leaned against him, her forehead pressed against his abdomen. "So mean, sensei."

Tsume tried not to look too smug. Kokoro once managed to convince some Kiri nin that they couldn't abduct or kill Team Sakumo because they hadn't submitted the proper paperwork in triplicate in order to obtain the correct authorization, as based on a treaty signed between their two villages after the Second Shinobi War.

A week later, the Hokage had to ask Sakumo very seriously why he had just received a formal request in triplicate from Kiri formally requesting permission to kill the girls. Having denied the permission Tsume was pretty sure such was why Kiri still had a small bounty for her to be taken alive.

Kokoro later turned her ability to ramble on and bore her listeners into tears as an effective way to break people in T&I who otherwise managed to withstand physical torture. And if the boredom was ineffective against breaking people, Danzo just unleashed Tsume and her seal. After all, ninja were trained to deal with pain and discomfort – unbridled lust, on the other hand, was something no one remembered to shore up their defenses.

"Ah, my cute little pupil. You mustn't antagonize our guest. You have been too long kept behind the walls of our great village – my fault, I promise to sneak us out more often for adventures – and Inuzuka-san is surely a well-traveled woman experienced in the ways of the world. Besides, this mission dictates that Inuzuka-san is our ally."

With a hum indicating that he had spoken his say, Killer B replaced the stuffing in his ears, and resumed the upward trek. A brisk wind slapped them in the face, bringing along a few flurries that followed ahead of the storm. Dark gray clouds boiled overhead, stacking tall until light was blotted out over the mountains, like they had been dipped in ink. Once they cleared the crest, Killer B turned to Tsume. He kept the stuffing in place. "We shall be going straight through the storm, but I'll stop when it gets to be too much for you and you require shelter."

Tsume pushed down her irritation. She had run through plenty of storms. Like, uh… Well, she had! She just couldn't remember if those storms had snow – although she vaguely recalled Danzo smearing her with rabbit fat because of course he would run them through a vicious snow storm. What was the rabbit fat for, again? This one looked really nasty, though. "Let's get it on," she said with an impatient flap of her hand. The flap turned into twist as she turned her focus internally for a brief moment. She felt her chakra flare briefly, which made the others look at her warily. There was a pulling sensation which was quickly followed by a steady rush of warmth. "There. All set to go – I'll be plenty warm."

Killer B said nothing as he turned back to their destination, but Darui's voice was dark with warning as he said, "You'll need it."

oOoOoOo

Day One from Shikotan, Tsume learned that Lightning received hail up to the size of plums.

"This is pretty mild," Karui said, pressing close to Killer B. "You should see the thunderstorms we get in the summer, especially with all the hail they bring." They were currently all crowded very closely in the small underground hole that Tsume made, because she refused to continue walking through a blizzard where the wind blew so strong that she had to use chakra just to stick to the surface without getting swept away. (She already left claw marks on an exposed boulder when the first gust of wind almost blasted her down the mountainside). The Kumo nin insisted on joining her, saying they had to keep her in their line of vision at all times until she returned to her Konoha teammates. Tsume was reconsidering her ability to make cozy holes with her jutsu. More is more, she decided for next time.

"Indeed." Killer B nodded his head. He had lapsed twice into haiku during their so-far short journey, until Tsume clutched her head and complained about how insensible he was. At least his sulk ended when the storm hit with all the enraged fury of a spurned lover. "It's a common training method to stand outside naked in a storm where the hail is a minimum of eight centimeters in circumference to see how long one can endure."

Tsume couldn't tell if he was kidding or not when his scent remained unchanged. She also had no idea how large a circumference of eight centimeters was. Sounded pretty small, though. Centimeters weren't very large, after all.

"My record is forty-two seconds," Darui said.

"Four and a half minutes," Killer B declared proudly. "And it would've been longer too, if the storm hadn't ended just there." Yeah, if Tsume was a hail storm, she'd definitely move on, too.

Karui hunched behind her raised knees. "I did just fine," she muttered against her kneecaps.

"Fourteen seconds," Darui supplied to Tsume.

Karui glared at her loudmouthed companion as her scent burned with humiliation.

Personally, Tsume felt that meant that Karui was a full twenty-eight seconds smarter than Darui, and, uh… a lot of seconds smarter than Killer B.

"So..." Darui leaned his arm against his knee and studied Tsume. "What do Konoha nin do for fun? We told you ours, you have to tell us yours."

Gosh. Tsume wracked her brain to remember something that wasn't exactly confidential. Well, she still didn't believe the whole bit of standing outside in hailstorms, so what would be a suitable equivalent for Konoha? They had the whole Will of Fire going, so it probably should have something to do with flames… "We like to set our hair on fire and see how long it burns before the person gives in and dunks their head in a bucket of water." She tugged at her hair. "I haven't done it for a while, though."

Karui flushed bright red as Killer B peered over the rim of his sunglasses and gave Tsume a reprimanding look.

"I hate Konoha nin!" Karui cried, smacking her hand against Killer B's shoulder. Embarrassment gave way to anger. "I hate them for killing my father, and I hate that we have to be nice to her and let her live!"

"Perhaps," Darui whispered to Tsume, "it's best that we don't mention anything about burnt hair."

oOoOoOo

Day Two from Shikotan, Tsume learned that nose hairs freeze. It was exceedingly uncomfortable, especially because she kept stuffing a finger into a nostril to check, once again, for any possible frozen boogers. She didn't have any, and Karui called her an uncivilized animal. Tsume spent a few hours silently entertaining herself by figuring out just what sort of animal she would be, if she wasn't like a dog. Then she tried to figure out what would count as a civilized animal – most likely, a cat, she decided. Especially an Uchiha cat. And maybe a goose, who were very noble, dignified creatures, until you pissed them off. It took her mind off the fact that the air was more thin than she was used to, and breathing was a chore.

The process of thinking left Tsume with the realization that being an uncivilized animal was probably why Hyuuga Hiashi never really liked her – well, aside from the whole embarrassing "I'll scratch your itch if you scratch mine" when Tsume was a hormonal sixteen year old. That fiasco ended when Hiashi immediately fell asleep on her after she sucked him off. Since Tsume didn't get any itch scratched in return with Hiashi being virtually unconscious, she taped a note to his forehead about how Uchiha Fugaku was soooo much better in bed than Hiashi ever was, and proceeded to let the world know all about his pathetic two minutes of stamina.

Danzo had been very displeased about the whole process – something about her feeding into an ancient grudge between rival clans and inciting further resentment for generations to come.

Tsume mentally gave Hyuuga Hizashi an apology for her past appalling behavior. She figured she owed him that much, since he had bravely sacrificed his own life to preserve Konoha's peace.

oOoOoOo

Day Three from Shikotan, Tsume learned that Killer B's rap was much better than his haiku. She then decided that the sunglasses weren't that bad. She was also getting used to his quirky speech, the looks he'd rake her with that made her insides tingle with possibilities, and his scents. Unfortunately, Killer B's companions disliked the rap more than they did the haiku, so Killer B resumed speaking like a normal person.

Tsume was fascinated when she figured that somehow the Hachibi had managed to enmesh itself with Killer B. The Kyuubi had simply overpowered Naruto, but Killer B seemed to be in full function, perhaps in unity. She thought she wasn't that obvious with her sniffing, until Karui snidely told her that yes, Kumo nin did bathe, and there was no possible way she could say that the Kumo nin smelled worse than Konoha nin.

"After all," Karui added, "we don't go around bathing in the blood of our enemies."

Tsume was offended. "We don't bathe in the blood of our enemies either!" Doing so would be a stinky mess, and Konoha nin were polite enough to keep their scents from being overwhelming around the Inuzuka clan.

"Yeah?" Karui poked Tsume in the chest, her entire body language as challenging as her scent was belligerent. "And what about the rumors of you guys drinking the blood of your enemies?"

Tsume dismissively waved her hand. "Oh. That was Uchiha Madara, and only because Grandmother Shinzou pushed him into accepting the challenge anyway. Grandmother just had that special touch, you know? Anyway, Konoha really don't like to really brag about Madara." Especially when the asshole went around shredding the brains of innocent little six year olds and kidnapping random four year olds for Kiri's Academy.

Killer B and his companions were always careful not to imply that he was a jinchuuriki. Tsume could respect that, and feigned ignorance the best she could when she felt it was appropriate.

oOoOoOo

Day Four the first half from Shikotan, Tsume learned that avalanches really could be started by little things, although Karui vehemently (and very quietly) read Tsume the riot act anyway. Honestly, Tsume hadn't meant to sneeze, and no matter what anyone thinks, shoving a finger under one's nose doesn't really stop a sneeze.

"You are all very impressive jumpers," Tsume told her companions, trying to be as complimentary as possible without being suspicious. She really did admire their ability to jump. Killer B had picked Tsume right up and they leapt over the sliding avalanche, avoiding a horrible fate of being swept over the edge of the ravine they were following, or being smothered.

Killer B was also as hard as a rock, which made Tsume's personal interest perk up with more force than she was used to. Sex wasn't hard to come by, and she enjoyed it – even on the job – but men like Killer B weren't often on her list to seduce. She liked men with lots of muscle, and Killer B had enough solid mass to be two or three other men.

Killer B instantly struck a pose at Tsume's compliment, flexing his muscles beneath his heavy winter coat. "Kumo nin are faster than a bolt of lightning!" He flowed smoothly into another pose, just as Darui covered his eyes in exasperation. "Kumo nin are more powerful than an avalanche!" He struck another pose as Karui's face turned bright red and she slapped a hand over her mouth. "Kumo nin can leap a tall mountain in a single bound!"

Tsume clapped as she soaked in Killer B's cheerful amusement. "Kumo nin are awesome!"

"No seduction allowed!" a miniature Danzo declared, popping up on her shoulder.

Tsume's hormones drop-kicked miniature-Danzo off her shoulder. "You said I couldn't seduce the Raikage," her hormones replied. "You said nothing about the Raikage's brother. You should've been more specific about these things." Besides, it wasn't technically seduction if she didn't use her seal, right?

oOoOoOo

Day Four the last half from Shikotan, Tsume came to the sad realization that she was never going to be able to lure Killer B into her bed with Karui hanging around like a very loud, little leech. Despite herself and her best judgment (which Tsume knew could be pretty lousy at times), Tsume found herself growing rather fond of Karui. Karui was loud, defensive, bitter, and hostile, and reminded Tsume of a red-haired Anko when she first took the reluctant, belligerent Anko under her wing.

Tsume knew she shouldn't get attached to reluctant-allies-usually-enemies people (possible one-night stands like Killer B totally didn't count), but she still found something enduring about Karui, even if she had tried haphazardly to kill Tsume in her sleep, trip Tsume off a cliff, and poison her food – although that last was, according to Killer B and Darui, "spices". Tsume advised Karui to try a poison that tasted a lot better than whatever the hell she dumped in Tsume's bowl of stew. Even though Karui was only slightly younger than Anko, she had the maturity of an eleven year old, uh, hmmm, who did she know to be that immature? Well, Anko had been pretty immature, and hurting really badly after what Orochimaru had done, so she'd just stick with that comparison.

Okay, so Karui had the maturity of an eleven year old newly curse-sealed Anko. Tsume couldn't tell if the immaturity was being aggravated by Karui's resentment towards Konoha for the apparent slaying of her father before Karui was even born, or if Karui just never got out of Kumo much to experience the world. Nonetheless, there was something fragile about Karui's rage, as if she used it to shore up a wall against the real world. Somewhere deep inside (really, really deep inside) was a lonely little girl.

Tsume remembered all too well what it was like to be a lonely little girl.

oOoOoOo

Day Five from Shikotan was a very busy day. Tsume leaped into a ravine over twenty-five hundred meters deep to save Karui's life, broke every single bone in her right hand and arm (again), and accidentally used her siren seal on Killer B.

Well, no one ever accused Tsume of half-assing anything. And if they did, Tsume would've just said that her ass was large enough that even a half-assed attempt was still pretty darn good.