Author's notes: Man, I'm having a lot of fun exploring Kumo. None of this is canon, but it's still a lot of fun. :D

o-o-o

o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o

"So, the good news is that Tsume is alive," Hotaru announced to her team leader in a low whisper. She stared cross-eyed at the kikaichu that balanced on the top of her nose. After a moment of listening, in which Hotaru nodded her head a few times, she continued on. "The even better news is that Tsume saved the life of the Kumo kunoichi, thereby placing the team in her debt."

"What's the bad news?" Shikake asked, because in his experience, there was always some bad news to go along with the good news, especially when it involved his female offspring.

"Well." Hotaru lightly brushed her fingertips against her hair and looked nervous. "Tsume jumped off a very high cliff to save the kunoichi, apparently, and was in a bad position when they were struck by a falling rock. Tsume was able to successfully block it, but she broke every bone in her hand in doing so."

Shikake thought of the last time that Tsume broke every bone in her hand. He sighed as different strategies began to play out in his mind. "And how do we know that the Kumo nin won't take advantage of her momentary weakness?"

"Killer B assured Doki here that he would personally ensure Tsume's ongoing health and safety, and promised to return her to her sons. Doki hid and kept watch a while longer after being dismissed, just to make sure that Killer B kept his word."

Shikake wondered if he should be surprised that Hotaru named her kikaichu. Was Doki a collective or individual name? "There's other kikaichu to help, isn't there?"

"Yes. Ke, Fuu, Mah, Go, Rin, and Hi still remain."

Well, that answered that burning question. Shikake could barely keep track of his two children and seemingly endless grandchildren that Tsume was always eagerly adding more of – he couldn't imagine keeping track of a substantial colony of kikaichu. He resumed carefully sorting through the stacks of herbs that he had obtained from the various markets – street, black, and otherwise – that sat upon the table that he had absconded from the dining room. Kiba and Naruto were just down the hall with Anko, listening to Jiraiya telling one of his stories. Shikake would've been worried about what sort of stories Jiraiya would be filling their minds if he didn't know that Anko would readily try stuffing a foot into Jiraiya's mouth if they weren't decent. "Nothing we can do right now, except send a message to the Hokage that we're extending our stay until Tsume's returned to us."

Trust his only daughter to be such a hassle. At least her heart was in the right place this time, even if her head – as usual – hadn't been.

"I expected as much." Hotaru crossed her eyes to look at Doki once more. "Pass the word on to my brother, so he can tell the Hokage." The kikaichu clicked a reply, and then flew off her nose and to the window. It waited patiently until Hotaru yanked the window open. The brief gust of wind that jumped through the window stirred Shikake's piles out of place.

Sigh. What a bother.

oOoOoOo

Day Six from Shikotan, Tsume spent most of the trip asleep from pain and exhaustion. Her chakra levels were almost nonexistent by time the Gyuuki had killed the last Yozora, and the combination of only 15% remaining chakra and the extensive injuries meant that recovery for either was slowed down. It also made it next to impossible to quiet her seal completely, which she would've realized earlier if she hadn't been in so much pain.

Darui made sure they paused several times that day in order to send careful waves of healing chakra through Tsume's arm and ribcage. Tsume refused to eat anything, since the thought of food made her stomach swim with a suspicious queasiness, but she drank the water when Darui insisted. Karui remained quiet, watching Tsume with a slightly-resentful thoughtfulness. The resentfulness always worsened because Darui and Killer B voted unanimously that Karui had to assist Tsume with personal hygiene when needs necessitated such. Tsume tried to insist that she could handle peeing just fine thankyouverymuch, but then realized it was too difficult to manage her winter gear one-handed while trying to squat.

They moved quickly through the gorge, carefully climbing up the slanting areas. They avoided the higher reaches, where Killer B said the Yozora clan was most likely to watch and guard.

"So, what exactly is going on between Kumo and this here flying clan? If it isn't, you know, classified."

"It is," Darui muttered.

"Territory disputes," Killer B supplied. "And the only reason I'm telling you is because you got caught in such."

All right, Tsume could respect that. If she was in a better state of health, she'd increase the chakra at her nose to get a better picture of what was going on with the Yozora clan, but as it stood, she needed to preserve what she had so she could complete the heart of her mission upon entering Kumo.

oOoOoOo

Day Seven from Shikotan, Tsume decided to give up all semblance of subtlety. She was half-giddy with pain and had just spent the last two days with Killer B firmly between her knees. There were just some things a woman had to do for her own sake. "I'm not allowed to seduce the Raikage. All my COs were very clear about that."

"It's just as well," Killer B said, "you're a little too…" he hesitated, "uh, female for my brother's preference."

Yeah, Danzo had made that snide remark before she left that he would have better success seducing the Raikage than Tsume would without her seal. "In fact, I was sternly told not to seduce anyone. That just wouldn't go good for the whole negotiation of peace and that kind of thing."

"It's important to think of the big picture." Killer B's voice was placid and serene, but he smelled disappointed.

Tsume traced the fingertip of her good hand across the back of Killer B's neck. "However, it's not seduction if I just outright ask you if you wouldn't mind having sex with me before I leave, once most of the damage has been healed, right? So, uh, wanna have sex with me later?"

Behind them, Tsume heard Darui and Karui stumble in surprise, and then rapidly whisper at each other. "Did she just say what she thought I said?"

"The Inuzuka women have long been rumored to be bold."

"There's bold, and then there's just cheeky foolhardiness!"

"Hmmm." Killer B gave Tsume's offer a strong consideration as the back of his neck and the tips of his ears colored once more. "Well, if you're not too busy with your various duties as a diplomatic envoy…"

"Oh, believe me, the fewer duties I have as an envoy, the less damage I'll cause. As you can see, trouble has this way of finding me. So, you'll do everyone a favor if you bed me, because then it means I'm staying in one place and will definitely be too busy for trouble to find." Tsume was very proud of herself for thinking up this reasoning while being giddy and lightheaded. "You'll be keeping me supervised the entire time."

Karui's voice was caustic. "That I can believe." Then, in a low whisper to Darui, "Isn't she a little young for sensei's taste?"

Darui coughed. "Well, part of the reason Killer B likes 'em a wee bit older is because he has a mother kink, and since he's seen her with her children, Inuzuka-san suits him just fine."

"We can hear you," Tsume said, looking over her shoulder. Then she squeaked when Killer B somehow managed to pinch her buttock suggestively, despite her heavy winter coat.

Karui pulled a face and stuck her tongue out. "And so can we! Fair's fair."

oOoOoOo

Day Eight from Shikotan, Tsume was feeling well enough to try sending minute amounts of chakra through her arm and ribcage, slowly but surely quickening the healing process. Darui continued to also provide aid. He was graceful but inefficient, which was more of an indication that his talent for healing was rarely used and thus somewhat underdeveloped.

They had to take refuge against another winter storm, this time in a cave that Killer B was familiar with. It took rooting out the sleeping bear (which Tsume silently disapproved of, because she felt she probably could've talked the bear into letting them stay), which Karui did with aplomb since Killer B made it into a teaching lesson for her.

When Darui mentioned that their supplies were running low as he set about making a fire from yew wood and sage brush gathered from a snow-barren steep mountain side, Killer B decided that going out to hunt down a mountain goat was another perfect lesson for Karui. In the bloodthirsty manner of many a teenaged kunoichi, Karui readily agreed, and prepared by sharpening all her weapons. After realizing what she felt well enough to want was some fresh meat, Tsume happily pointed Killer B and Karui to the direction her nose said that some nearby mountain goats would be.

That left Tsume alone with Darui, propped up against her knapsack. She kicked off the sordid boots that were still on loan, and aimed her toes at the fire with a satisfied sigh. Darui was quietest of all Tsume's Kumo companions, voicing words like a purse-clutching miser trying to evade a charity.

"So, how much longer do we have left? We're out of the gorge now and back up in the mountains."

Darui tilted back on his heels and studied the cave ceiling. Tsume glanced upward – it was a boring cave ceiling – didn't even have any decent stalagmites or stalactites, just the same uniform pale red-and-beige color that she was used to seeing in the rocky cliffs and shale. "Even without the added delay of losing our path due to the fight, we're not moving as fast as we originally anticipated. I told Killer B – you were out cold at the moment – that I felt it unwise to hasten our pace with your injuries, even if I was able to keep them stabilized. You're at a very high risk of embolisms because of how you broke the large bones of your arm and the flat bones in your sternum, and jostling could potentially break free any debris to create a clot. We still have another four days in the least – possibly up to a week if more snowstorms come through."

Tsume thought of her poor sons and Anko being stuck in Shikotan for a much longer time. She hoped her boys didn't get contaminated from the prolonged exposure. Maybe she could send a message that it was best they head home and the Hokage could send a relief team to wait for her instead. Hmmm. How many kikaichu did it take to carry a message scroll? Maybe if she wrote really, really small…

"Don't feel bad," Darui said, misreading her expression. "Killer B promised to get you back to your sons, and he means it. He doesn't make promises that he doesn't keep, and no one – not even the Raikage – will interfere with his promise. Unless you do something incredibly stupid."

The little voice in Tsume's head that sounded like Danzo pointed out that Tsume doing something incredibly stupid – like propositioning Killer B for sex – was just a matter of time, not a matter of chance. She ignored that little voice. "Killer B seems like an honorable man."

"He prides himself on such, yes. Honor is something of great value in the mountains, here, and we all pride ourselves on it."

Tsume mulled over her thoughts for a moment, and then mentally shrugged. "You have a lot of respect for him, even though he's a jinchuuriki." Darui said nothing, but the look he gave Tsume would've flayed flesh from bone. "I guess it's no secret that Uzumaki Kushina was our jinchuuriki – that's why you guys kidnapped her during the Second Shinobi War. I didn't know what she was until just a few weeks ago, even though we were genin teammates, and then we became chuunin together, and basically grew up to be adults together. I think she was scared to tell me, but I don't think it would've made a difference if she had."

Darui shrugged. "Just because you're incapable of fear doesn't mean that others are."

"No, even if I never had my brain injury, I don't think that I would've been scared of the tailed beasts." Tsume shook her head. She had been horrified with the destruction that the Kyuubi had caused when it rampaged through Konoha, but she hadn't been frightened or repulsed. "I doubt you've heard the First Mother – it's one of the Inuzuka oral traditions, about the Sage of Six Paths and the origin of the nine tailed beasts. The First Mother came up south, across the ocean, and followed the Juubi across the Elemental Nations because she liked playing with him."

Darui gave Tsume a skeptical look. "Playing what? Fetch?"

Tsume imagined herself playing fetch with a ten-tailed Kyuubi. (Having only ever seen the Kyuubi in all its glory before this trip, Tsume imagined all the other demon beasts as the Kyuubi, except with the proper amount of tails.) She wondered how big of a stick she'd need, and how much chakra it would take to throw. "Sure, I guess. Dodge, too, and probably tag." Fetch actually sounded like it would be a lot of fun.

He chuckled softly, the sound of his voice almost disappearing into the crackling snaps and pops from the fire. "Now you're just pulling my leg."

Tsume wiggled her ankles, knocking her feet together. It didn't hurt to move her legs, but her arm and hand were burning again. She brought the pain down a little bit by sending another wash of chakra through her limb. Her current stores were about 35%, and with a minimum of four days of travel, she should be somewhere in the 60's by the time they reached Kumo. She sniffed. "Smells like they caught a female."

"You really are an excellent tracker," Darui commented.

"Thanks. All part of being an Inuzuka."

Darui was silent for a moment, jabbing the fire even though it didn't need to be stirred. "Just don't… don't lead Killer B on, if you don't mean anything. He likes you – you're an honorable woman, you adore children, you saved Karui even if you didn't have to, and you don't fear what he is. They're rare qualities for Killer B to find in any woman, especially locally. So…"

"Is this you trying to tell me not to break his heart? Or that sex shouldn't be an option?"

Darui's cheeks flushed dark. "No, it's… The sex wouldn't be the problem – it's you being Konoha and him being Kumo."

Tsume didn't think she believed in storybook romances. "I know that Kumo and Konoha aren't on the best of the terms – I doubt that will improve much, even with the new treaty and the package I have to deliver, but…" Tsume felt tired. She thought of the long-ago strengthened bonds between Konoha and Suna, all because of a twelve year old boy who decided that he could best survive the loss of his legs as a conduit for the poison that wiped out his team and destroyed a rare desert spring, and a too-pregnant teenaged simpleton who insisted on helping him. She just wanted to lay back and fall asleep. "But we have to start somewhere, don't we?"

"I guess." The corners of Darui's mouth pulled down unhappily as Tsume rolled over and let the darkness creep over her.

oOoOoOo

Day Nine from Shikotan, Tsume finally had enough chakra to show Darui how to be more efficient with directing his chakra to be more efficient in healing. She was getting tired of chakra washing up her arm and torso and then not really doing everything that it could. Most ninja could do basic healing – surface things, of knitting skin and muscle cells together and reattaching large blood vessels, even large bones that had clean breaks. The human body's natural defenses could usually destroy foreign microbes that entered the body during the healing. Complex healing, like internal organs and bones shattered and splintered into small pieces required a much more deft touch. If cells were forced to replicate wrong, the potential for cancer was substantially high.

"A tracker and a medic. A very useful combination," Darui said as he followed her directions.

"Yeah, well, as you said, it's very useful." Tsume didn't think that pointing out that her brother's team usually only had the potent healing ointments from the Nara clan instead of a decent medic was such a hot idea, because that was probably not the best information to give to enemies. She felt rather proud of herself for holding her tongue on this matter. She then hoped she hadn't said anything too incriminating in the last few days, especially the day she had broken everything.

oOoOoOo

Day Ten from Shikotan, Tsume felt well enough to try walking some of the distance on her own. This idea was quickly shot down, because now most of the travel could be done over a relatively flat surface now that they had crested the mountains, and Killer B wanted to make up for lost time. Tsume decided to just sit still as she centered herself on his back, and enjoyed the scenery. There were fields of white as far as the eye could see, and under the bright sun, the snow glittered like sheets of crystals. In dawn and dusk, when the sun was rising and setting, the colors lit the snow up like pink flamingos on fire. She loved how colorful winter was, far up north. They hadn't yet allowed her to stay out overnight to watch the Aurora Borealis, but she figured she could talk them into letting her do so once they arrived in Kumogakure.

"It's going to be blasted cold tonight," Darui said, shielding his eyes so he could look overhead. "We'll need to find shelter soon."

Karui's sigh was long-suffering. "We're going to have to bunk together, aren't we?"

"Yup."

That shouldn't be too bad, Tsume considered. She had slept with more unsavory characters before, although admittedly it hadn't been for preserving body warmth.

Unfortunately, she got stuck with Karui, who was a very restless sleeper who liked sticking her cold feet against any warm body part. Tsume thought that Darui's suggestion that the women stick together was a vindictive response to yesterday's conversation.

oOoOoOo

Day Eleven from Shikotan was spent with her companions still hunkering down in their cave. Tsume watched as the blowing snow outside piled higher and higher, and fervently wished that it would stop snowing. She was also tempted not to wait until it was no longer snowing, especially because her Kumo companions' idea of winter storm preparation included storage scrolls stuffed with coal and yak dung.

"This stinks," she grumbled, breathing through her coat sleeve. Shikotan had smelled marginally better, but that was largely because of the open mountain air.

"But it keeps us warm," Killer B replied lightly as he added an extra yak chip to the fire.

oOoOoOo

Day Thirteen from Shikotan, Killer B dug their way out of the deep snow banks. They spent a few mid-morning hours showing Tsume how to balance with her chakra on the snow, but that proved to be a futile exercise, especially when all Tsume wanted to do was scrub her nostrils out with the fresh snow. Deciding that they didn't have enough time for her to overcome her handicaps, Killer B hefted Tsume onto his back again, and they moved much faster over the smooth snow to once more make up for lost time.

Tsume wondered if the Raikage was simmering in a corner somewhere, blaming the delay on Tsume like she had tried to kill the Kumo nins and bury the evidence.

"Don't be ridiculous," Killer B said with a wave of his hand. "My brother is much more sensible that that."

oOoOoOo

A was so not simmering. He told himself this as he crossed the ice bridge network from his tower to one of the bunker houses, and ignored how the snow melted in the wake of his killing intent as innocent bystanders scattered. He pounded once on the wall beside the second-story window and then stormed inside without waiting for permission to enter. It was his village, after all. "NII. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

In Kumo, teams were housed together with their jounin sensei or captain to promote better team function. It also made it easier to mobilize teams when time was of the essence. Yugito Nii currently stayed with Killer B's team, largely because her original teammates were all dead, and partly because the jinchuuriki could spar with each other using their full-strength without too much worry of killing or crippling their opponent. Also, Nii had a very obvious-to-everyone-with-eyes crush on Killer B's next door neighbor, who was a level-headed Academy teacher named Mina. Living next door put Nii in the perfect position to borrow cooking utensils, cups of sugar, exchange laundry tips, and otherwise proceed in a very clumsy manner in trying to seduce Mina. So far, nothing had happened despite Nii's best efforts. This was largely due to the fact that Mina was completely oblivious to the flirtations of another woman. Although A wasn't too sure that Mina would be able to pick up flirtation from a man, either. She was a great Academy teacher in that she was excellent with rote memorization of history and techniques, but a terrible kunoichi because she was too oblivious to survive field assignments.

Also, Killer B's chuunin were terrors when they were sick, and Nii rarely had the opportunity to smother anyone with her maternal instincts. It was a match made in Nii's best dreams, and Samui and Omoi's worst nightmare.

Nii barely looked up from her cross stitch of wilted flowers. "Shhhh. The kids are asleep."

A considered the cross stitch, and thought of getting Nii some more therapy. He had started cross stitching as a personal hobby ten years ago at Killer B's encouraging, because he "yo, you really need a hobby that's safe, like knitting mittens – maybe even consider something with kittens," and found that he quite enjoyed it. Then he decided that he needed to enter his completed projects in local contests because he always had a strong sense of competition, except there weren't any local contests or even clubs for such.

Because the cross stitch had been so beneficial for his mental well-being and relaxation, one of A's first declarations as Raikage was to make cross stitch mandatory in the Academy and for all active shinobi. This also ensured competitions and contests for best cross stitch in various categories, making it the best sort of win-win in A's world.

A later decided that cross stitching was perfect in the therapy they used to rehabilitate their prisoners, and often had the prisoners sit with the Academy's children for beginner lessons. It helped in humanizing Kumo in the captives' eyes, and added to the pool of competition. (A felt everything improved with a healthy level of competition, after all.)

As a hobby, it was meant to encourage his ninjas to focus on something that wouldn't wear on the soul. He was fairly sure that cross stitching the current wording utterly defeated the point.

"Are you going to enter anything this year?" he couched carefully. Nii had always refused to do more than the mandatory single pattern a year before, mainly because she failed to see the point and called the whole thing a ludicrous waste of time that can be spent in honing skills, until an upper ranking jounin managed to single-handedly capture and subdue an entire ambushing four-man team of Kiri nin last year using only embroidery floss and a hoop. Since then, she begrudgingly embraced her artistic side.

"Maybe. What do you think?" She turned her cross stitch sideways so he could study it a little better.

Behold, the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren.

"Really?" A asked, raising an eyebrow at the message.

Ni bristled in self-dense. "The lettering is even!"

A considered the stitches, and then nodded. "They really are." Nii must've had someone with a good eye trace the pattern on the canvas with pencil since A knew that the best of Nii's stick flowers didn't have such lifelike proportions, but at least she was following the tracings well enough. "I like how you managed to make the flowers appear so lifeless."

Nii huffed and tossed a long lock of blond hair over her shoulder. "You don't like it."

"I didn't say that."

"I can smell it."

Oh. That's right – he was there because it was very important to find out where his brother was with that Konoha kunoichi harlot, not to discuss Nii's latest endeavor with cross stitching. "I need you to tell me if you can sense Killer B, how far away he is, and if he's hurt."

Nii's eyes narrowed and flashed briefly. "Do you think something's happened? You know that they'd be delayed by the most recent blizzard that rolled through."

Blizzard or not, that idiot's been gone for far too long. I don't trust anything about that Inuzuka woman. "He really should've been here before the storm rolled through. I'm willing to allow that there may have been some valid delays – the passes are not safe to travel during winter, after all, and they're dealing with an inexperienced flat-lander – but I have a very limited window of time before the Hokage will begin to wonder what happened to his kunoichi, and I don't want a war to start simply because his nin was tardy." If A was going to start a war, it would be one of his own choosing, thank you very much.

Nii shrugged at that, and shoved her chair away from the kitchen table before heading to a closed window. Yugito Nii had the making for an unremarkable sensor nin like the rest of her clan – barely worth her talents in sensing other's chakra, destined to be as mediocre as her forefathers, even though sensor nin were rare stock – but Matatabi enhanced Nii's talents and abilities tremendously. After becoming the Raikage, A had worked hard to make sure that Nii developed her full potential as a sensor nin, figuring that it would help her avoid fights. Unfortunately, he had neglected to work just as hard in making sure that she would want to avoid fights. Hindsight was a real pain in the ass, sometimes.

Nii opened the window, brushed the snow off the sill, and then closed her eyes to concentrate. A felt her chakra flicker as she searched. After a few moments, Nii secured the window shut and walked back to the table. She said nothing as she seated herself once more and picked through the embroidery floss until she selected a dark shade of red.

"Well?" A refrained from snarling at Nii. She had a disturbing habit of hissing when someone challenged her, even if it was her Raikage. A still hadn't managed to figure out how Matatabi could be so polite and its host so rude.

"Killer B is fine. Karui is fine. Darui is fine. That Konoha kunoichi, on the other hand, is not so fine." Nii stuck her tongue out. "Her chakra tasted of severe pain. Her chakra is kinda funny anyway, almost like she's got a streak of poison contaminating it."

The only thing that A wanted to know more about Inuzuka's chakra was the injury. "Does the pain feel accidental or deliberate?" A really didn't want to explain to Killer B that it would be highly inappropriate to kidnap the diplomatic envoy and that rehabilitation of an Inuzuka was bound to be next to impossible. Historically, Konoha nin's rehabilitation was a lousy 7%, whereas Kiri nin rehabilitated successfully at a cool 80%, should they survive the winter and altitude change. (Kumo was good at many things, including capitalizing off of Stockholm Syndrome.) A also had no intention of doing anything that would make Inuzuka Natsumi and her insane number of summons invade Kumo in an attempt to rescue her Clan Head.

"Dunno, but there doesn't seem to be tension in Killer B's chakra, and Gyuuki feels like he's in a good mood." Nii shrugged and threaded the floss. "I'd have some of the medics on stand-by when Killer B's team finally comes in, but wouldn't worry if I were you. He seems to have everything handled, and they're only a day's travel still from Kumo."

A wanted to do more than just have a team of medics on stand-by. He was going to have to do some fancy letter-writing in regards to Inuzuka's injury. He hoped that she came by it in good faith – receiving an injury at Killer B's hands may cause an international incident. While his head jounin was a total asshole and unilaterally unpopular, A got the feeling from her dossier that Inuzuka Tsume was well-liked by certain powerful persons. One didn't share a mutual gardening hobby with someone as misanthropic as the War Hawk if one wasn't competent with "gardening", for instance.

And the more he thought about it, the more A suspected that gardening implied that someone was getting plowed, and that no actual horticulture was involved.

"Relax." Nii didn't even look up from her work. "You worry too much about this."

He growled. "The last time I didn't worry about an envoy was just before that ass went and tried to kidnap a pint-sized clan heir without my permission."

"I still think you should've sent Konoha a medal for getting rid of him." Nii gave him a side-eyed look. "No one liked him, Raikage-sama."

"He may have been an ass, but he was Kumo's ass. You don't send a medal to an enemy village just because they did an unwitting favor for you."

Nii shrugged. "Whatever," and flashed the cross stitch at A, as if to emphasis how much she didn't care about the loss of Kumo's head jounin.

oOoOoOo

Day Fifteen from Shikotan, they finally crossed the threshold into Kumo. Tsume had hidden the shift of chakra to her nose by doing small healing session with her arm to try decreasing some of the spectacular array of purple shades that covered her entire arm and had spread half-way across her ribcage. Tsume didn't like the color purple – she was always more partial to crimson and gold – and hated the look of it on her skin. Most of Kumo was buried beneath thick layers of stark-white snow – dark windows dotted piles of white. A construction of ice bridges and walks suspended above the ground ran the length of the entire village, crisscrossing over each other. In the afternoon sunlight, the bridges and walks glittered like diamonds and cast multiple rainbows.

"Ah, home sweet home," Killer B declared as he paused to take in a deep breath of frigid air.

Tsume made a show of sniffing a little, because it would be a suspicion thing if she didn't – and then huffed into Killer B's hair. "Konoha smells better. We've got actual trees. But Kumo is beautiful." She craned her neck for a better looks. "I've never seen anything so… so like that. It's like it's made from crystals and diamonds, like an enchanted ice palace. I know I shouldn't ask why you've made them, because that would be prying and looking for information when the Hokage said I can't ask questions, but I never thought that Kumo would look so pretty." She watched as a crowd of Academy children, bundled against the cold and laughing, skidded across one of the bridges.

"We do too have trees," Karui declared as she bumped through the guards at the gates that were inspecting paperwork. "They just happen to be buried right now. Can we hurry up on this? I'm behind on this year's project and I just remembered that I have to have it done in a month so I can submit it for the Fourth Chuunin Quadrant's division of the New Year's Fresh Beginnings Contest."

"Told you that you should've brought it along," Darui said. "You could've gotten a jump on it while we were waiting out that blizzard."

Tsume peeked over Killer B's broad shoulder in time to see Karui's face burn bright red before punching Darui in the arm. "Not in front of the Konoha kunoichi!"

"But your flowers are so vivid. I think Inuzuka-san would be impressed – she did show us those crayon drawings her sons gave her as a parting gift in Shikotan. She seems the sort to appreciate art."

"Shut up!"

Tsume desperately needed to know what this project was about, now.

"We need to head immediately for the hospital," Killer B told the guards.

"No need." The guard who spoke kept shifting his gaze towards Tsume. "The Raikage told us that you're to head straight for his office, and he already has a team of medics on stand-by to arrive there once you hit these gates. Welcome back, by the way, Killer B."

The guard and Killer B exchanged friendly fist bumps. "It's good to be back." The snow had been shoveled away from the gates, creating a deep path that started a hundred meters away from Kumo's walls, and funneled foot traffic to the gates. The snow on either side of the path was well above Tsume's head. Steps had been carefully constructed from the entrance of the gates that spiraled around into an ice bridge that rose above the snow. Tsume felt like she was part of a fairy tale as Killer B gracefully mounted the steps, but a nice fairy tale – one that didn't end with the witch eating the children and enslaving the father's soul. There were splashes of pastel color everywhere, of pink, green, blue, and yellow – children probably playing with food dyes – that added a layer of ethereal wonder of the ice bridges.

"We need to go immediately to the Raikage," Killer B said as Karui and Darui followed closely behind.

"How do you think Omoi and Samui are feeling by now?" Karui asked Darui.

"Smothered," was Darui's single-word reply.

Tsume catalogued different scents, not looking for anything in particular during her initial arrival. She let all the scents wash over her as she gazed with wonder upon the different ice sculptures that were erected hither and yon. Some of them were plain – a square block with a hole in the center, a triangle balanced on a point – and others were elaborate, like the lifelike swan with its wings fanning wide or a dragon rearing upright. Konoha was colorful, but it didn't have artwork everywhere.

Tsume was contemplating how to best introduce the idea of wood carvings (because one had to work with what one had, and ice just wasn't practical in Konoha – she bet that Yamato would do marvelous) to the Hokage when they entered a nondescript building via its second-story window. The lower part of the building was deeply buried in snow. The inside was made of the same gray slate of the outside, but the air was surprisingly warm. The window was lined with seals that provided warmth – it seemed like a much better idea to Tsume's poor abused nose than yak dung.

The furniture was simple, hand-hewn from wood and roughly at that – Tsume hoped she wouldn't get splinters if she sat down. Once Karui and Darui had followed them into the building, Killer B gently set Tsume down on the floor. She tottered a few steps before she felt that her legs were securely under her and the floor didn't require chakra to remain above the surface. It felt good to be walking on something solid.

"You'll be all right from here." Killer B didn't make it sound like a question, but it felt like one as he divested her of the heavy winter coat she'd been wearing for nearly two weeks. She wanted to put it back on because she could smell herself, then figured that the Raikage was probably used to smelly shinobi, especially when they packed along yak dung for fire fuel.

"I'm good. Let's go." Tsume double-checked her jury-rigged sling and added some extra chakra to bring her pain level back down to something that wasn't so distracting now that she didn't have a winter wonderland to take her mind off of her condition. Much to her chagrin, Tsume had learned that increased chakra levels hadn't yet allowed her to subdue the seal completely. She wondered if the extensive injury and ever-present pain was responsible – she had never before used her seal when she was badly injured, and the only time she'd ever been close to being this injured had been when she desperately performed her own C-section and developed a nearly-fatal infection. And then another near-fatal infection when her impromptu stitching ripped open. And she hadn't tried using her seal back then.

Tsume also double-checked to make sure that her precious cargo was still close to her heart. The scroll had shifted a little and she tried to be subtle as she poked around her bra to make sure that it hadn't fallen out – nope, still there.

Karui poked her left side. "Please don't do that in front of the Raikage!" she hissed, her cheeks red once more.

"What? What don't I do?" Tsume asked as she was led down the hallway. Some of the male nin in the hallway – paper pushers and guards – eyed her, heads swiveling for better looks. Those who didn't look up from their work showed no additional interest when they failed to make visual contact with her person.

The single door that opened into the Raikage's office was as utilitarian and as rough as the rest of the building. Tsume wasn't sure of what she'd see, but somehow the gruff, muscular man with the blond goatee wasn't a surprise, especially as he rested his crossed arms on the table and glared at her, as if affronted by her presence or smell. "Well." His voice was strong, the throaty pitch deep enough to rattle her bones. "At least you're not dead."

Tsume figured that would be a good thing, but the Raikage made it sound like a personal insult. "Killer B is very good at keeping people alive." She even patted Killer B's arm, trying to look confident. She was acutely aware that she stood on the brink of starting another war, and there was no way anyone would ever let her forget about it if she went the way of Sakumo. Sakumo wouldn't mind – he probably would show her the best dumpster dives in town, except she'd have a hell of a time making him keep his clothes on all the time. "Is this the final resting place for Hyuuga-san?"

"Hyuuga-san with be interred elsewhere." The Raikage's scrutiny was uncomfortable. She felt a small ball of revulsion curling in the pit of her stomach as his gaze pinned her in place like a butterfly on a collector's board. "I have medics on stand-by to see to your injury immediately. Karui, Darui, accompany her to the end of the hall and remain with her at all times. Killer B," the Raikage pounded a heavy fist against his sturdy desk – the sturdy desk shook, "I demand an immediate report of her injury and your delay."

Tsume allowed herself to be shepherded out. Darui and Karui smelled nervous and seemed just as eager to get out as Tsume was glad to be removed from the nearly-overwhelming presence. She had newfound respect for Mooncalf for facing A and Killer B together on the battlefield. Now she kinda understood how other people felt when Aunt Natsumi turned the full force of her temper and personality on them.

At the other end of the hall was another simple room that was four medics. They were fussy, as medics generally were, and Tsume's condition gave them a great deal to fuss over.

oOoOoOo

A propped his head up with one arm and glared at Killer B. "What the hell happened?" There was definitely something more to Inuzuka Tsume than what met the eye, because he wasn't the sort to look twice or give consideration to women, no matter how almost-masculine her face was or how scary her hair definitely seemed, up close. (He could've sworn he saw a small hooked knife in it, but maybe that was just a random lock of hair.) And now that the Konoha kunoichi was gone, the strange, soft tug of desire had disappeared, along with the unusual curiosity for what lay hidden beneath her ugly, smelly layers of clothes. He could feel the proverbial steam whistling out of his ears at the thought of the Hokage sending someone with a bloodline limit when A had explicitly forbade such.

A's suspicions were only confirmed when he saw how his brother watched Tsume's departure with something that was suspiciously smitten.

Killer B rubbed the thick patch of stubble on his chin. "Well, a lot has happened in the last two weeks."

"And why was it two weeks and not one as was originally anticipated?"

"That's sort of what just happens when you leap off a cliff." Killer B mirrored A as he sat down, resting his arm on the desk and propping his head up on his fist. "Best to start at the beginning. First, did you know that the Fourth Hokage has a son?"

That was not what A had expected Killer B to lead with. "… Come again?"

"A son. I didn't believe it at first, either, but Gyuuki said that the boy is clearly related directly to Namikaze Minato. Second, did you know that the Fourth Hokage's son is the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki?"

"How the hell did we miss that?" A was going to have stern words with his Intel Department.

"Third, that boy is loved and doted upon by a wonderful mother."

"I cannot believe that Inuzuka Tsume was that loose-lipped." Such was the only way that Killer B could come by such information, but A doubted that the Hokage would've sent someone who would openly blabber about Konoha's apparently toddler-aged jinchuuriki.

Killer B shrugged, his face distant. A knew how much Killer B had wanted a doting parent as a child – or even just a parent in general – especially after he became the Hachibi's jinchuuriki when he was only six years old. "She didn't have to. Inuzuka Tsume is the mother, and she brought her two youngest along with her to Shikotan – which includes the jinchuuriki. We recognized the boy for what he is. Oh, she's not the biological mother – my understanding is that she fostered him the same way that she fostered Hatake Kakashi."

Wait… the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki was currently in Lightning Country? A's first thought was how ironically appropriate it seemed that a woman who was purportedly fearless would be the mother of such a creature. His second thought was how Kumo could finally get their hands on the Kyuubi, especially after their failure during the Second Shinobi War. "I take it that snatching the child won't be easy."

"Nope, nor would I support you in such a decision. When we left Shikotan, he was in the custody of some pretty strong Konoha nin, all from very prominent clans, and Tsume-san's ninken. Oh, and Gyuuki sensed Jiraiya-san entering the village at the same time we were leaving it. But in all honestly, Gyuuki and I wouldn't get between Tsume-san and her children if we were you. We saw what happened when enemies threatened Karui with only Tsume-san standing in defense, and Tsume-san only regards Karui a temporary teammate." Killer B shuddered, and it wasn't just for show. "Her sense of territory is very strong."

It was certainly ill-advised to go around snatching Inuzuka children, even after the clan joined Konoha – Inuzuka Natsumi's reputation as a Hell Hound was first founded upon the tales of her cross-country rampage when slave traders grabbed some Inuzuka girls. Other clans' children had also been snatched, and A always considered that any woman who managed to force Uchiha Madara and Senju Hashirama to work together with her on said rampage to rescue the children was not a woman to be taken lightly.

And Inuzuka Tsume was the Hell Hound's heir.

A growled. Damn that Sarutobi Hiruzen – what was the man thinking? A could feel the urge to go forth and snatch the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki like a kleptomanic itch crawling up his spine. To have three jinchuuriki in his Village would be a mind-boggling amount of power. Of course, it would also make Konoha officially declare war, and no doubt it could muster up a number of allies who would do anything to make sure that Kumo didn't keep such a concentration of power. Another insurance, no doubt, in case this peace treaty didn't work out. Traps within traps. A didn't like it. "How did Inuzuka-san get hurt, and where were you when Karui was getting threatened by enemies?"

"Well, that's a bit of a long story. In short, Inuzuka-san blocked a boulder."

"She couldn't dodge?" A's disdain grew for this kunoichi as his respect, lousy as it already was, diminished.

"She was kinda hanging on the side of a cliff when it happened, so she didn't have any room to maneuver."

A decided that clinging to a cliff was a poor excuse for not dodging. "And why was she hanging on the side of a cliff?"

"She deliberately jumped into the Great Gorge."

A had the sneaking suspicion that Killer B was enjoying the way he dragged out the report, teasing with the dropped hints. At least Killer B wasn't describing everything in haiku – that would just be ridiculous. "I knew her dossier said she had a reputation as a simpleton, but I had thought it was a smokescreen." Only an idiot or someone who was desperately suicidal would deliberate jump into the Great Gorge, so clearly there was more truth about Inuzuka being a simpleton than he had originally suspected. Either that, or she basically signed up for what was a potential suicidal mission because… life wasn't worth living?

Dragging children across the continent wasn't the sort of thing a suicidal mother did, was it?

"She really a bit of a simpleton. Sort of." Killer B thought for a moment. "I mean, she's not an idiot, but she's certainly simple. In the last two weeks, I've come to realize that Tsume-san is a little too literal and a little too awful at duplicity for her own good. Because of her memory, she has to stop and think hard on her duplicity – it's like watching a child trying to be sneaky when they really aren't. Very obvious, and you could see it coming across the Gorge on a cloudbank day. She came into this mission thinking that we're allies together for the sake of this mission, and she truly believes such, and she literally follows through with what she believes. I can see why the Hokage picked her to be the envoy – she's sticking to her mission protocol like a dog obsessively gnawing on a bone, even if she forgets personal and professional boundaries. Also, she babbles a lot when injured. Aside from that, she's clearly someone the Hokage could trust to do the mission successfully without deviating from the parameters, like, oh, kidnap a random toddler." Killer B never did like A's choice for Head Jounin.

A had left the man in the position of Head Jounin for his skills when A became Raikage, not for the oh-so-likeable personality.

"I'll have you write up a report about her and her… talents and babblings for the dossier. You still haven't told me the long version of how Inuzuka was clinging to the side of a cliff and where the boulder came from."

Killer B ran a hand through his hair, looking sheepish as he leaned backwards in his chair. "Seven days ago, it was a cloudbank day on the Great Gorge when we were attacked by the Yozora clan." A swore viciously, and Killer B nodded in agreement as his expression turned grim. "I know. I had to use Gyuuki. We were pinned to the trail, and there were eighteen of them. I told Tsume-san not to get involved – it wasn't her fight. I told everyone to get ahead, but the trail had broken away, and you know how Karui gets with heights."

"Petrified." A leaned back in his chair and swore again, gaze flickering to the window as if he could see the gut-clenching drop from here.

"One of the Yozora snagged Karui, pulled her off the cliff, and then dropped her in mid-air. Remember though – Tsume-san literally believes that we happen to be allies for this mission, so she immediately jumps off the cliff, yelling that she would get Karui. Tsume-san acted like she was off to fetch a frizzbee that went over the neighbor's fence, not like they were at the mercy of freefalling a few kilometers."

Okay, A was beginning to appreciate Inuzuka-san's reputation for being impulsive and reckless, and why she had to be assigned with a team that was strong enough to pin her down. He wasn't so sure that he'd dive off the Great Gorge for one of his own ninjas, let alone for an enemy with whom he had a very tentative truce.

…Okay, definitely not for an enemy with whom he had a very tentative truce.

"Karui said that Tsume-san managed to rescue her about two-thirds of the way, and was looking downward to see how far they had left before reaching the bottom, when the boulder – which must've broken away when I was fighting – crashed into them. Tsume-san had tried blocking it – she shielded Karui – but lost her grip and they dropped the rest of the way down. Somehow, Tsume-san was still able to control the fall well enough to land them safely." Killer B paused a moment, eyes becoming distant. "Darui said that the boulder pulverized everything in her hand, arm, shoulder, and a fair bit of her ribcage. Karui still hasn't been able to tell me how Tsume-san managed to get them to the bottom. Tsume-san was in too much pain to remember, and Karui was too panicked. In truth, even though I saw both fall from the trail, and I saw both alive at the bottom, I cannot believe that they somehow survived."

A also couldn't believe it. He knew how high the trail went, and just how far that drop was. He had been hoping that the clouds would've been clear that day so the Konoha kunoichi would be sufficiently intimidated by the heights, but apparently her reputation of being fearless was as well-earned as her reputation for being reckless.

To knowing and deliberately rescue an enemy sounded like something those notorious tree-huggers were likely to do, however… A begrudgingly admitted to himself that maybe there was something worthy of respect in this bizarre Konoha kunoichi. Kumo prided itself in being honorable, because it took honor to support each other and survive the harsh winters, and Konoha was generally considered to be almost as honorable – albeit softer and weaker due to an easier environment. You always knew where you stood with a Konoha nin – not like those duplicitous Kiri and Iwa assholes.

"Three Yozora found them, alone, at the bottom of the Gorge."

A groaned and dropped his head flat against the surface of his desk. "Let me guess – despite every bone in her arm being broken, she still somehow managed to tear out their hearts one-handed and eat them for breakfast?" When the silence stretched awkwardly, he raised his head and gave Killer B an incredulous look. "She did?!"

"Er." Killer B ran his hand through his hair again, looking sheepish once more. "Um. Well, she only tore out the heart of one, and then decapitated a second with her ax, and then I got there in time to finish off the third."

No wonder Killer B seemed so smitten with Inuzuka. The woman doted on her jinchuuriki-son, rescued Killer B's apprentice against impossible odds, stood tall against Kumo's most timeless enemy, and was also brutally strong in a fight – she would have to be, to take on the Yozora one-handed and severely injured. "So. I gather she's not scared of you in the least." So much for that far-fetched hope of his.

"She's incapable of fear because of the brain injury." Killer B shyly poked his index fingers against each other as his cheeks flared red. "She actually liked what she saw when she gazed upon Gyuuki."

It was a wet-dream come true. A pondered how to pry his brother away from this woman, especially after he had essentially made Killer B responsible for her. Was it too late to kill the Inuzuka and claim she died of frostbite? Nah. There was no way the Hokage would believe someone of Tsume's stamina would die from frostbite. "That doesn't explain why I felt attracted to her when I saw her. Bloodline limit?"

Killer B was emphatic that it was anything but. "Darui thinks it may be a siren seal that she used against the Yozora clan to distract them – Karui told us that she didn't notice anything different about Tsume-san. Hell, I don't think I would've noticed anything if Karui hadn't pointed out that we were looking at her differently."

A tapped his fingers against the surface of his desk and contemplated the strange woman. "Did she charm you with the siren seal?" Such would explain the strange animal magnetism listed in her dossier.

"She can control the seal, since Darui is sure it wasn't on before the fight. I suspect it got stuck on because of her injury."

It was unheard of for a siren seal that could be switched on and off, but he supposed it wouldn't be impossible. After the utter destruction of Uzushio, Kumo was the best Village when it came to fuuinjutsu, and Konoha was (a distant) third. A didn't think that Konoha would be so cruel to burden one of its kunoichi with such, and then not include the ability to control it. There was a reason that A had outlawed applications of siren seals among his unwilling kunoichi. Seduction did and always would carry an important role in Intel, but A left that to the ones who were interested in pursuing such a career. The lure of the femme fatale would always call to some kunoichi, but he wasn't going to make it mandatory the way that Kiri and Suna did. (He did, on the other hand, make it mandatory that all of his femme fatales had to meet required levels when it came to their fighting abilities, and he tested them yearly.)

"Anything else I should know about without having to wait for your written report?"

Killer B thought for a moment. "Two things. First, we found out who killed Karui's father."

"Remind me when and how he died."

"Killed in action during the capture-the-Kyuubi mission in the Second World War – disemboweled with his spine ripped out."

It was suddenly much easier to remember Izu, since the only thing memorable about the man had been his gruesome death. "Who killed him?"

"A twelve-year-old Inuzuka Tsume. Although she apparently had some help from Namikaze Minato."

A felt he should be surprised, but he wasn't. He had personally run away from Inuzuka Natsumi and her hell hound summons – he fully expected that the offspring and heir of the Hell Hounds faithfully followed in Natsumi's footsteps – and had lived to talk about his battle with the Yellow Flash. "And how did Karui take this, assuming she learned at the same time you did?" At least now Karui could hold her head up high knowing that her father had been defeated by the Fourth Hokage. A knew that there were worse opponents you could lose your life to.

"Tsume-san was very apologetic, mainly because I just explained to her that saving Karui's life made Karui her responsibility, and she insisted that she already owed Karui a life-debt, because apparently ripping out Izu's spine was the first time that Tsume broke every bone in her right hand."

A leaned back in his chair. He hadn't considered the repercussions of Inuzuka-san saving Karui's life until Killer B mentioned it. This could still be worked to Kumo's advantage if Inuzuka-san was as truly a little too literal and a little too awful at duplicity as Killer B stated. "What's the second thing I should know?"

"Tsume-san made it very clear that she was not allowed to seduce anyone – especially you."

"That's good." A would've tossed this kunoichi out on her ear if she had tried. And why was his brother edging toward the door now? "I'm not going to like this next part, am I?"

Killer B sulked as he reached out and rested the palm of his hand on the doorknob. "I see nothing wrong with this next part – it will keep her busy and out of everyone's hair with little to no risk of her gathering information. We both agreed it would be for the better."

A growled and gripped his pen like it was a kunai.

Killer B straightened to his full height, glowering over the rims of his dark sunglasses. "And before you even ask, no, it has nothing to do with her siren seal." He twisted the door knob and slipped through the door swiftly. He poked his head back in long enough to say, "We agreed to have sex later," and then firmly shut the door as A's pen quivered in the wood where Killer B's head had previously been.