Author's notes: Not a whole lot of action happens in the next few chapters. These are largely character-driven, and explores Kumo's culture.
o-o-o
o-o-o-o
o-o-o-o-o
A considered the blank sheet of paper that sat in front of him, edges curling slightly, mocking him with the missing message that he had yet to compose. "Damn you," he told the paper. If he could challenge it to an arm-wrestling contest, he'd win, but the paper had no arms, and therefore it was pointless to challenge it.
The first letter he considered writing to the Hokage – you sneaky jerk-ass, your Konoha kunoichi went and got into trouble just as you knew she would, therefore Kumo refuses to accept responsibility for her current condition – was out of the question, but was also the only thing that kept springing to mind. Deciding that something so delicate was best written when calm, A opened a desk drawer where his current cross stitch pattern was stored, along with his readers. The pattern was a sappy thing where a dove was tying two hearts together with a white ribbon. It was a wedding gift he was planning to present to one of his Academy teachers this coming spring, and he was behind schedule. The stitches were finer than normal, and the winter light was poor, requiring the use of his best readers to prevent unnecessary eye strain.
As he was repositioning the hoop, his office door swung open and a chuunin poked her head through. "Your brother's here to see you, and brought the Konoha kunoichi as you requested."
A didn't bother putting away his cross stitch. "Thank you. Send them in." He had expected them to be later, given how interested Killer B seemed in rolling around in the sheets with this Konoha kunoichi, but he hoped that Inuzuka-san was professional enough not to delay a summons in favor of morning sex.
He was threading silk when Killer B and Inuzuka entered the room. Inuzuka looked like she had gone through another round of healing, since the visible bruising on her neck appeared to be diminished compared to yesterday. He eyed her over the rim of his glasses for a moment – the strange tug of desire was completely gone. Good; she must've turned off that infernal seal. But there was also the distant, hazy odor of musk between the two of them. Damn it. "I trust that you slept well last night?"
"And this morning too, thanks. Er, I feel quite rested, thank you." There was an odd shift in her expression, as if she were trying to hide unflattering thoughts. A suspected it had something to do with his cross stitch. He refused to feel embarrassed in any way, and made a show in completing the thread-through. Blasted little holes… Okay, maybe it was also his readers. He was secure enough in his masculinity not to be bothered by the coral-pink frames, or the fake jewels in the corners. Everyone should have a little bit of whimsical sparkle with their accessories, and rhinestones on his kunai was simply impractical.
"You have left me in a bit of a conundrum." There wasn't any reason he couldn't just lay the burden of blame at this woman's feet, as it was her fault for being reckless and fearless and far too cozy with his Kumo nin. Poor sense of personal boundaries, he decided to add to her dossier. "How do you propose I explain to your Hokage why you are delayed and must stay for further recovery at Kumogakure?"
Inuzuka-san's expression morphed into something odd as she regarded him with suspicious resentment. "How much longer am I expected to stay?"
Ah, someone was worried about being kept. It was not an unfounded suspicion, even given her status as a diplomatic envoy, but A had decided that it was best for Kumo's health (and his own mental well-being) to keep Inuzuka Tsume and Killer B as far apart as possible, and Inuzuka-san far away from Kumo in general. "Until my competent medics have declared that you're well enough to make the journey back to Shikotan without making things worse. I'm not a medic, so I must concede to those who have greater experience and knowledge in such matters." Just as he expected his ninja to concede to how he ruled Kumo. Everyone had their own role to play, and he played his very well.
A continued to study Inuzuka-san in between stitches as she mulled over his words. Then another shifty look crossed her face – Killer B was right, a person could see this kunoichi trying to be deceptive from the other side of the Great Gorge. It was gratifying to realize that she never intentionally meant for her rescue of Karui to be anything more than that. "So, if I'm better in three days' time, I'll be gone in three days. Will I have a new team accompanying me, or will it be the same people?"
A peered over the rims of his readers again, once more considering her. She squired, like an unruly child, under the weight of his gaze. "The rest of Killer B's team are well enough to join Karui and Killer B, so Darui will be replaced by two chuunin." If Inuzuka-san had been willing to risk everything to save a random young teenager, then A felt comfortable in surrounding her with them. It would probably get Inuzuka-san into more trouble, since teenagers were drawn to such like magnets to iron, but A wasn't above manipulative tactics.
Learning that she was going to be surrounded by teenagers seemed to throw Inuzuka-san for a loop. "Oh. I like Karui. It would be nice to see her again." Inuzuka-san's eyes flickered from A to Killer B and back. Then she raised her chin stubbornly and said, "I just don't want to be separated much longer from my children." A hint of growl – the same sort of growl that had been in her voice when she wanted to say goodbye to Hyuuga – layered her words, almost like the rumble beneath foot before one looked up in time to see the avalanche bearing down. "I don't like anything getting between me and mine."
Ah yes. But what sort of woman would willingly drag her precious sons – jinchuuriki and otherwise – all over the continent? Okay, so it was standard for the Inuzuka women and their daughters back in the day, and maybe Inuzuka-san was a traditionalist. A found himself comforted with the idea that she was unlikely to pull something incredibly stupid (like kidnapping a clan heir, that asshole) when her children were in the same country, awaiting her return.
Inuzuka-san didn't quite strike him as a woman who would randomly grab children on a whim, anyway. Not without good reason, at least, like maternal instincts combined with animalistic instincts gone wild. He felt like he was getting a good reading on her personality.
This could still be to his advantage. "You are an honorable woman, Inuzuka-san. We of Kumo regard honor to be something valuable, hard-earned and yet so easily lost. I feel that you, as a Konoha kunoichi, would understand this."
Konoha nin generally had different standards for their honor, dependent on different clans and traditions – Kumo didn't have populations nearly as divided, since it started out with similar clans that already intermarried and mingled often enough band together to survive the harsh winters and the brutal, insular Yozora.
Inuzuka eyed him suspiciously. "Of course I understand honor."
"And you believe in it, as well."
"Yes!"
"Good. Because I simply can't change tradition even when a Konoha kunoichi saves the life of one of our own. I'm sure you appreciate the importance of tradition. Karui is still your responsibility, but you understand that I'm in a difficult situation – I can't very well give her to you for training and mentoring as our tradition dictates, so I must take some creative steps."
She tensed at that announcement, eyes narrowing as her gaze focused sharply. Her torso curled forward, as if gathering strength and energy to do something dangerous, and her killing intent boiled to the surface. It was fascinating to watch her morph from oblivious hedgehog to cornered wolf. It struck A just how similar Inuzuka Tsume appeared just now to Shinzou's Bingo Book picture – it was just a glimpse, but he saw the predator who had been a deadly legend with a career that spanned three-quarters of a century. He briefly wondered what Tsume would've been like if the brain injury had never happened. Beside her, Killer B took a step back, bracing himself to block a potential attack.
Pretending to not notice the change in Inuzuka, A pulled a Kumo forehead protector from beneath a stack of paperwork and shoved it across the desk to her. "It's unprecedented, but I am officially making you an honorary Kumo kunoichi."
Surprised flashed across her features. Her left hand twitched, and A saw the glimmer of chakra gathering around her claws. ("…She only tore out the heart of the first.") If she made any move towards him, he'd immediately flip the desk up to serve as a shield – it would no doubt splinter into firewood with one strike, but it would buy him enough time to immediately go on the offensive. He and Killer B should be enough to disarm and subdue an injured, one-armed special jounin kunoichi, with or without her siren seal activated.
"I know that your loyalty will always be to Konoha," A continued. "I don't expect it to ever change, nor would I want it to." He was fairly sure that Kumo was better off without the Inuzuka clan mucking around with things anyway. "However, I have to think about my nin, of that little chuunin whose life is now in your hands, and how I can make her grow as a person and as a kunoichi. She won't always stay in Kumo – there will be missions that will take her from Lightning, even as far as Fire. I realize that there's always that chance you two will meet again, and I want you two to be well-met when that happens. I leave Karui to your responsibility when she's in Fire or elsewhere the two of you shall meet, and I expect the two of you to meet as honorable Kumo comrades, even when you're still Konoha's kunoichi."
The killing intent dissipated, leaving Inuzuka-san confused and embarrassed. "I… uh, okay, this makes me distinctly uncomfortable."
Which was exactly what A had intended, but he was much better at hiding his intentions than she was. "Oh? Do you regret saving Karui's life?"
"No!"
"Do you feel burdened with being responsible for your actions?"
"I, uh… nooooo?"
"And if you met Karui in an inoffensive situation, would you attempt to kill her?"
Inuzuka's eyes were wide as she dragged a foot across his floor. "I don't… think so?"
"In saving Karui's life, you have placed a great burden on this young woman's shoulders – she must carry the knowledge that the murderer of her father is also her savior, and is also the enemy of her Hidden Village. I feel that this is the most reasonable way to ease that burden, since I have no intention of keeping you or trying to start a war with Konoha." It also gave Kumo a boon – a back door into Konoha without requiring a mole, and little to no risk of breaking treaties.
It was a simple little play: emotionally manipulate the simpleton, prey upon her emotional vulnerability and beliefs, and never threaten the heart of her loyalties. Against a more intelligent opponent, like her legendary son, A knew there would be no success for such a play, but Inuzuka-san had already proven that her weakness was her own maternal instincts. Such would be the death of her one day, even if it proved to be a boon for others.
A cheerfully allowed Inuzuka-san a moment to struggle through the complexities of being an honorary Kumo nin without somehow betraying Konoha, before he continued. "Being an honorary Kumo nin comes with its own set of perks – you will always be considered a diplomatic envoy from Konoha, with every courtesy extended to you even when you may be in Lightning for missions not pertaining to being a diplomatic envoy. So long as you're well-behaved, of course. Kumo nin reserve the right to protect themselves if you attack them. I fully expect you to be a mentor, as reasonably allowed as a Konoha nin can be for a Hidden Village who aren't, quite frankly, bosom buddies and allies." A had learned that the stick was always best hidden when extending the carrot.
"I, uh…" Now she looked like she was trying to figure out how this would benefit Konoha without getting herself into a lot of trouble. Good grief, hadn't anyone in Konoha bothered to explain how readable her expressions were? Maybe she really was just doing some gardening with Danzo, because A just couldn't imagine someone like the War Hawk not trying to force this kunoichi into better disguising her expressions.
"The one thing I ask of you – and I only ask, for you are not my kunoichi to give orders to – is that you maintain an acquaintance with Karui. Don't be a stranger, and don't become a stranger. Write letters to her, so she will see you as a mentor who doesn't regret saving her life and will always hold it in honor, instead of a patricidal assassin." And with her brain injury, Inuzuka-san was sure to let something valuable accidentally slip.
"Uh, okay?"
After being assured that she was now sufficiently confused, A settled back in his chair. "Now, all of this doesn't erase the fact that your original mission was delayed due to injuries incurred upon rescuing my kunoichi. So, how do you think I should present such news to your Hokage, given that you were Karui's responsibility to keep safe and not the other way around?"
Inuzuka-san looked sheepish. "Er. Maybe I should write it for you."
Glad that he wasn't responsible (and certain that it would give his code breakers something to do), A pushed the paper and pen to Inuzuka-san. She held the pen awkwardly in her left hand (right-handed, A noted, once more, for her dossier), and stared at the sheet for a moment. Then she scratched her head with the pen, leaving a blue streak of ink on her skin, and said, "What's the kanji for boo-boo?"
And illiterate, too.
oOoOoOo
Dear Hokage-sama. I made it to Kumo and delivered the required package. However, I boo-booed. =( The Kumo team accompanying me was attacked (totally unrelated to the mission) and I kinda got involved helping them because someone had to protect the young chuunin kunoichi, andI broke my right hand and arm. And I guess falling into the Great Gorge at the same time made us backtrack a lot. Also, there were blizzards. I'm currently being tended to by the best medics, and the Raikage said I can go home when I'm sufficiently healed up so the travel back doesn't make the injuries worse. He was very pleased that I rescued his kunoichi during the attack, but not happy that I was injured in doing so. Please make sure that Pakkun is making Kakashi eat his meals correctly, and for that matter, make sure that Sakumo is getting his meals, too. They both seemed awful skinny when I left. =( I'll be home as soon as possible – no detours for me if I can't help it (the Great Gorge not withstanding). This isn't a pleasure trip, after all. =)
Inuzuka Tsume
"And… you somehow expect this to be a code, Raikage-sama? Aside from the fact that it's barely legible and my six year old could write better, I'm not detecting anything out of the ordinary. It doesn't have the typical coding or style of Konoha messages." Saitou was the head of A's Intel, the man most responsible for breaking and making codes. He was a large man, his head shaved bare, and he wore sunglasses similar to Killer B's. "Seriously… she added smiley faces to this message. Who even does that as a grown adult?" The reflecting sunlight off of snow was famous for throwing people into temporary snow blindness, so sunglasses were a common accessory for many Kumo nin.
A pointed at a sentence on the paper. "Why would she mention Hatake Kakashi and Hatake Sakumo if it was an innocent letter?" Seeing Inuzuka-san's bold and casual acknowledgement of two legendary shinobi had given A pause. The stuff of legends made the unbelievable look like trivial events. He wondered if mentioning the Hatakes in light of the casual reference to falling off the Great Gorge meant that Inuzuka Tsume's life was also wrapped within the stuff of legends, and shrouded in great secrecy.
Saitou sighed. "Darui looked over the letter to see if there was anything that seemed uncharacteristic, and the only thing he pointed out was the line of how this isn't a pleasure trip. He said she had never made any mention of such. She talked quite often about all her children – including Kakashi – so nothing really stands out except for that. The only code that could be in this letter would be predetermined phrases that indicate whether Inuzuka-san is in danger or not, I suspect. We're not going to get anything out of predetermined phrases when we don't know what the determination is."
"Who's Pakkun?"
"A dog."
A considered the ninken. "I wasn't aware that Hatake had a canine partner, even though his mother was Inuzuka-san's older sister and he was fostered by the clan after Hatake Sakumo's public dishonor."
"Yeah, funny tale that, Darui had said. Apparently, when Inuzuka Natsumi left Konoha to fight in the Second Shinobi War, she was previously responsible for watching Kakashi, and couldn't find a suitable caregiver when it came time to leave. The Queen of Summons gave two-year-old Kakashi a dog summon, Kakashi successfully summoned Pakkun, and the rest, as they say, is history."
Inuzuka Tsume had a loose lip, A thought once more. (He was not going to think of how a two year old managed to successfully summon. That was… rather frightening. Hatake Kakashi respectfully deserved his reputation as an S-class legend, having earned it at an unprecedented young age. And being a simpleton teenager raising such a legend clearly gave Inuzuka Tsume immunity to the rare and unusual. No wonder she thought nothing of surviving a free fall into the Great Gorge.) "I don't remember that being in Hatake Kakashi's dossier."
"I ordered Darui to write up everything that Tsume said to be inserted later, sir."
"Good." Saitou was one of A's better retention choices for a head of something. "Well, looking at this any further isn't going to reveal anymore." He had watched Inuzuka-san write the letter, face scrunched up in concentration, but he was mostly sure that was due to writing with her left hand and trying to remember the different kanji than it was trying to figure out where to slip in a coded message. A wasn't surprised that she made no mention of the dubious honor that A had imposed upon her – that was something best brought to one's leader face to face.
A well-earned reputation as a simpleton. As Killer B had implied, Tsume was a little too literal, a little too genuine to be sly. Well, A had demanded that Sarutobi Hiruzen send someone who wasn't going to be sneaking around, and the Hokage had most certainly complied. That damn old goat probably laughed for two days running after sending Inuzuka Tsume packing up north, fully knowing exactly what kind of trouble such a woman could create, even if she tried her hardest to be on her best behavior and faithfully follow all orders. Damn it.
A hated it when he was forced to be reasonable. What was the point of being the Raikage if he didn't get to casually abuse his power once in a while?
"Send it by owl. If the Yozora are on the rampage again, the owl will get through." The Yozora clan considered owls to be sacred animals, and the Chairo clan's limit allowed them to share their minds with their owls, similar to the Aburame clan. "And send it to Inuzuka-san's comrades in Shikotan. I'll let them be responsible for telling their Hokage."
oOoOoOo
Omoi and Samui were adorable, Tsume decided. Omoi reminded her of her bears, solid and round and brimming with questions, and Samui was graceful and pretty, her flaxen-blond hair too similar to many of the Yamanaka Clan for Tsume not to make a comparison. And Yugata Nii was strikingly beautiful, even if there was something about her that rubbed Tsume the wrong way… Tsume couldn't tell if it was the scent of cat, or the considering, sideways looks that Nii kept giving her, with those oddly-curved eyes.
In the presence of Samui and Nii, Tsume felt like an awkward little hedgehog with a bad hair day. She felt it appropriate to sit next to the equally-unfortunate looking Karui. Karui with her darling, rich red hair that Tsume really wanted to touch…
"Hey! Keep your hands to yourself!" Karui scooted her chair outside of Tsume's questing reach, yanking her cross stitch of butterflies along. She hunched over her project, scent tinged with embarrassment, other hand trying to smooth down the stubble on her head. Tsume didn't know what the big deal was. If the Raikage had no problem cross stitching hearts and doves, then butterflies and tulips would seem perfectly normal. Of course, Nii's cross stitch of No Fucks Left To Give spoke to Tsume in a way nothing else really did, and seemed oddly out of place compared to Omoi's kittens playing with a ball of yarn and Samui's homey country kitchen.
"I wish I was artistic like you guys," Tsume said. "I want to be able to make pretty things." Her three year old toddlers could do a better job drawing than she could. But, she thought with a happy little perk, she was an awesome cook! She should make some of Shinchuu's butterscotch cookies; that would show them that she was a master of the culinary arts!
Nii growled when Tsume tried to make her way into the kitchen. "Killer B said you were to remain in my sight at all times, so plant your butt back into that chair. You're not allowed to wander."
Tsume obeyed with a sulk and repressed the urge to growl.
oOoOoOo
Jiraiya held his arm out in expectation. The owl, a great white horned monstrosity, settled on it reluctantly. It was a third of Jiraiya's size, but he held it with great ease. "I take it you're supposed to deliver something."
Anko, her arms full of groceries from the market, crowded close. "Not one of ours – we don't have owls."
"No. A message from the Raikage. Thank you." He untied the missive from the owl's leg and shook his arm. The bird stubbornly clung. "Want an answer then, do you? Then swing by tonight, I'll have it then." The owl seemed satisfied with the answer and took flight, its great wings nearly knocking Anko off her feet. Jiraiya tucked the missive into his coat and then jammed a hand into one of Anko's grocery bags. "Where's my dango?"
"Hey!" Anko danced out of his reach, too occupied with keeping her goods to kick him in the shin. "Those are for Kiba and Naruto and me! Get your own, buster!"
Jiraiya sighed. "Alas. No respect for your elders."
"I stop respecting my elders once they become ancient, dried up old husks, gramps."
Jiraiya's hand flew to his chest. "You wound me so needlessly, Anko-chan! I am still a man in my prime!"
"Yeah, right." Once she was out of Jiraiya's reach, Anko kicked someone who was probably either copping a feel of her ass or trying to steal her wallet. The wailing pain following the bruised shin bone made the two Konoha ninjas move rather quickly back to their inn. "Tell me, what was life like back before dirt was invented?"
"It was very clean, and we respected our elders."
They bickered good-naturedly all the way back to the inn. Jiraiya was patiently fond of Anko's rude impatience, largely because it reminded him of Inuzuka Natsumi, and a little of Tsume (although Tsume was rarely ever able to make sharp retorts), and dear Tsunade-hime. Although from the looks of it, Anko's bust was going to be more like Tsume's and less (a lot less) like than Oyubi's or Tsunade's.
Ah, Jiraiya, you really are a dirty old man, perving on fifteen year old girls. Not that Tsume had been much older when she and her hormones went on the rampage through Konoha, leaving few broken hearts but several broken egos in her wake, so perhaps there was hope yet for Anko to have illicit adventures of her own that would provide Jiraiya plenty of entertainment and inspirations.
And once she was eighteen, Anko would have the – admittedly dubious – honor of being one of Jiraiya's muses. He had a number of muses – all of them beautiful and shapely and quite female in their own way…well, there was one who was decidedly masculine and wasn't Jiraiya, but he firmly told himself that he needed some inspiration for his male protagonists, and the conglomerate of tall, dark, silent/nasty that was the ill-begotten test tube love child between Orochimaru and Danzo was a great seller, especially among his female fans. Having an extensive spy ring was an expensive job to fund – thus the need for bestselling erotica novels, since epic retellings of fairy tales didn't exactly tickle the fancy of a population willing to spend money on sex – and Jiraiya was almost sure that Danzo would appreciate the finer points of such irony were he to ever learn just how Jiraiya funded his operations. Orochimaru… well, Jiraiya reached the point of just not caring what that ass thought.
Not as much, at least.
Shikake was present in his room, patiently showing Naruto and Kiba the finer points of drying herbs. Based on how the boys fidgeted, this was not the most exciting topic, and they were desperate for any sort of distraction. At the sight of Anko and her groceries, the boys instantly swarmed her for treats. With the younger audience's attention turned elsewhere, Jiraiya opened the missive and shared it with Shikake.
"Ah. Well, at least we know that Killer B is keeping his word," Shikake said after scanning the message.
"Indeed." The note was written in the genuine rambling quality that typified Tsume's reports, punctuated with sloppy little drawings of a happy or a sad face. The most important line had been the last before her signature: This isn't a pleasure trip, after all. =) As a code, it could only be recognized by those with intimate knowledge of what her life had been like after Shinzou sold her to a brothel; not even Kokoro was aware of it.
By indicating that it wasn't like Madame Haori's Palace of Pleasure, Tsume declared that she was currently safe.
"Still," Shikake said, "for that level of injury, maybe we should send the ANBU team that's here."
Jiraiya imagined the look on Tsume's face if her sons popped up to rescue her. Then he imagined the look on her sons' faces if they were told that they had to go rescue their mother. From who? Kakashi would ask, barely looking up from Jiraiya's latest chapter.
Are we rescuing mom or the people she's stuck with? Yamato would say next, eager to get away from his own reading duties with the toddlers.
"Not all the way to Kumo, surely."
Shikake shook his head. "Of course not. The Raikage would take that as an excuse to feel insulted. After all, I'm sure that the man is quite eager to prove that he's better than Konoha in every way, including the treatment of diplomatic envoys."
Shikake and Jiraiya considered the letter for a moment. "Well, to be fair to Kumo, that wouldn't be too hard," Jiraiya said finally. "Even if she is prone to snatching children, Tsume knows better than to do so in Kumo, so they're bound to treat her better than a suspicious older man with questionable tendencies to snatch young female toddlers."
"At least one would hope so. Tsume is already aware of the eight children she currently has awaiting her back home." Eight-and-a-half if someone counted Anko, who was currently cleaning up Kiba and Naruto after they managed to engulf half a bar of chocolate each while smearing the rest of the chocolate on their faces, clothes, and hands. "But you're right. We should send at least half of the ANBU team up to meet up somewhere with Tsume – Yamato could hold her still in place with his wood release if it's necessary," and it wouldn't be the first time that Yamato had to restrain Tsume, "and Kakashi can squeeze her heartstrings with his pout– because we're going to have to get the toddlers back to Konoha. Hiruzen only gave you two weeks to be gone."
Shikake cast a considering eye on Anko.
"Hotaru would be a better choice," Jiraiya put in quickly, pointing to Tsume's report of her injuries. "She knows healing techniques that would be beneficial for Tsume."
"Ah, true."
That, and Hotaru wasn't nearly as entertaining as Anko. Jiraiya would accompany Shikake, Kuromaru, and the toddlers back to Konoha, and it was just too long of a trip not to bring along someone who amused him, because half of the ANBU team were boring sticks-in-the-mud. "Let's look at a map and come up with a good meeting place for everyone that would make the Raikage… well, not happy, but perhaps a little less prone to being grumpy."
oOoOoOo
Kakashi adored his little worrywart of a brother. While not as prone as his favorite aunt-turned-mother to bring home the sorriest-looking strays she came across (or even the not-so-sorry-looking strays), Kakashi nurtured a soft spot for all of his siblings, and he was man enough to acknowledge that Yamato was probably his favorite of them all. Of course, Yamato had also been the first, and Tsume had more-or-less assigned Kakashi to Yamato in virtually the same way he suspected Grandmother Shinzou had assigned Tsume to Kakashi when he was first born. ("Yamato-chan is your new little brother, Kakashi. That means you gotta love him and look out for him… say, can you help me pry him out of this cubbyhole, if you don't have anything better to do? I thought I could suck my stomach in enough to squeeze through, and no, I'm too far along to suck my stomach in. Also, I'm stuck.")
Yamato fussed when he learned about Tsume getting hurt, stewed about how he couldn't accompany and protect Naruto and Kiba all the way back to Konoha, fretted about Tsume as they left Shikotan, and then henpecked everyone to make sure that they were safe from frostbite. It amused Kakashi, in a sadistic, slightly evil manner common to many an older brother, to egg Yamato's neuroses.
Hotaru eventually caught on. "I think we should stop feeding into Yamato's concerns," she told Kakashi firmly after waking him up the morning after they had left Shikotan. It was the end of the final watch, which had been hers, and they would need to eat a quick breakfast before resuming their trek through the snowy passes before reaching a poor village of yak herders just two (summer) days' travel from Kumo. It was the closest they were allowed to approach the Hidden Village without causing undue alarm.
"Aaaww, but that's just no fun." Especially when he didn't have his other ANBU comrade – Ebisu – to poke. Genma was a steady, reliable comrade, but he was admittedly stable. Kakashi was convinced that the Hokage assigned him a team that contained two of the most neurotic people in ANBU (home of the neurotic ninja, which said something) for a reason, but he was still trying to ascertain such a reason, other than the fact that the Hokage figured Kakashi was Inuzuka enough to need someone to keep him entertained.
(Kakashi also suspected that sometimes the Hokage picked team member assignments randomly out of his hat. No one ever forgot that one time he created an entire team out of people named for eggplants.)
"I know, but I just don't know how much more of this fretting I can take. I'm not used to worrywarts."
Kakashi nodded his agreement. "Too true. Jiraiya's team seemed a little too sensible to have a worrywart like Yamato-chan." It must've been really dull. Kakashi didn't remember Jiraiya's team getting into nearly as much trouble as his father's team.
"Oh, we were a team that learned quite well from observation, and your mother's team gave us plentyof educational material. Remind me to tell you more about that one time Jiraiya got chased through town by a civilian pizza delivery boy, now that he's no longer around to try and stop me from telling the story."
Well, that was certainly true. Kakashi could vouch that his own team had learned many interesting things, including what Minato-sensei looked like he was doused in sparkles and hanging by his feet from a tree. He hadn't known what Tsume wanted to do with all the craft supplies she had talked him and Obito into shopping for her, but he learned then that he really needed to question her more often when she asked for favors, especially when it came to craft stores after the Fire Daimyo explicitly banned her from every such store in the entire country. "But I want you to know that Yamato is going to fuss about everything – he doesn't need any help from me."
Hotaru sighed. "We shall see." And then she woke Yamato from his slumber.
oOoOoOo
"So you put the food dye in the spray bottle here, like this, and then you pick a spot at night to get before the patrols find you," Karui explained as she and Tsume mixed shades. Karui's water produced a lovely peach shade. Tsume's looked like an ugly muddy brown. Tsume felt like she was fingerpainting with Hana and Yamato all over again, and she tried hard to ignore the overwhelming feeling of homesickness.
oOoOoOo
"Do you think Mom is all right?" Yamato asked as they skirted the edge of a ravine where a harsh wind blew snow and ice up.
"I'm sure they're treating her just fine," Hotaru insisted. "Be careful of stepping over here – Boku said that the ice feels shallow."
Yamato fretted. "I mean, I'm sure that Kumo is going to treat her just fine, as long as she doesn't find a helpless orphan that she can talk the Raikage into keeping, but I think at this point she may be a little orphaned out." He scooted a little faster when the ice cracked beneath his feet. He reached solid ground before the ice bridge broke away, crashed down the cliff's side. Kakashi gripped Yamato's sleeve, before reluctantly releasing his white-knuckled grip. "And Kumo does have a habit of keeping foreign ninjas. I wonder what sort of torture and brainwashing they go through?"
"Told you," Kakashi whispered to Hotaru out of the side of his mouth.
oOoOoOo
When Tsume had asked the Kiri nin in how things were going, because it was strange to see an enemy nin socializing with Academy students, it had been a conventional how-are-you question that was socially acceptable between two strangers greeting each other. The class had split into different groups to work on their cross stitch, and seeing the adult shinobi surrounded by preteen students had been rather jarring. She was still trying her best not to ask questions that clearly indicated a gathering of Intel.
Tsume hadn't expected the Kiri nin to immediately present her his life's story, of how a Kumo jounin had managed to subdue and capture his entire team with an embroidery hoop and sky-blue silk thread, how the Kiri nin had been locked up in a very comfortable cell, fed excellent food, provided lots of reading material – choice comics and porn, it was amazing – never once tortured or even questioned, and then released from the prison cell to mingle with the population once snow hit two months ago, with stern directions not to kill anyone, or he would be left naked and abandoned in the mountains. If he somehow managed to sneak away and make it back to Kiri alive, more power to him, but Kumo offered comfortable apartments and supplies, so who was he to spit in the eye of such a grand boon? After all, it wasn't like he had a whole lot of loyalty to Kiri, not when he had just been an innocent kid helping with his family's rice paddies and minding his own business twenty years ago when a creepy old man with red eyes had kidnapped him and handed him over to Kiri in the first place.
Tsume had been stuck tagging along with Nii, who had decided to gift Tsume's freshly baked butterscotch cookies to the Academy teacher who lived next door. Nii was making desperate bedroom eyes with absolutely no care about the loud earful Tsume was getting on how Kumo treated their captives, and the Academy teacher was smiling in a vapid, impersonal way that indicated she had no idea how badly Nii wanted her.
Tsume was half-tempted to tell Nii that maybe she ought to consider just stripping naked, and parading around the Academy teacher with a large sign reading free orgasms for next-door neighbor Academy Teachers.
The Kiri nin, who had eyed Nii in such a way that he could also see the desire from three countries away, threaded the embroidery floss for his Home Sweet Home with a rough sketch of Kumo's mountains. "So, in summary, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. If I'd known just how great this place was, I'd've tried to assassinate the Raikage long before this year. Could you hand me that skein of green over there?"
oOoOoOo
Kakashi tilted his head back to drink out of his canteen, stopped, and then tilted his canteen upside down. He looked mournful as nothing came out. "My water froze again."
"I can't feel my toes," Yamato muttered.
Hotaru increased the circulating chakra in her body as she heard her kikaichu discuss the pros and cons of hibernation.
After they crested the mountain peak, only to reveal more mountains in which to cross, Yamato hunched his shoulders and knotted his fingers restlessly. Ever since Tsume brought him home, tucked beneath a large umbrella, and then learned the hard way that there was a cubby hole in her kitchen that was just large enough for Yamato to hide in, Kakashi had known Yamato to have issues with the open sky. In the mountains where the white-capped peaks disappeared into the white clouds, heaven and earth verging into one, even Kakashi felt exposed, like a blight on a pristine canvass of white. He could only imagine how overwhelmed Yamato must feel.
"Hey, Kakashi, do you wonder what Naruto and Kiba are doing right now? I bet that Anko is trying to teach them how to braid Jiraiya's hair…"
Kakashi normally didn't approve of talking on his ANBU missions, liking to keep discussions to minimal necessities – he faced his missions with a tight focus and required his teammates to do the same — but if Yamato's babbling served to ease some anxiety and to distract himself from his agoraphobia, then Kakashi wasn't going to complain.
And Hotaru wondered why Kakashi poked Yamato.