ANs: W0oT! 5 reviews! (I had one saying it was interesting and they put it in their alerts, but that was before this was taken down for some obscure reason. Of which I think I found the problem, and fixed it. Well, you see the story still in the directory. . .so thank god on that.). . . and over 400 total views! Well, I'd say that's a decent launch. Not the most utterly amazing thing to happen or the best I've ever done. But eh, I did good. (Sure wish more reviews would pop-up though. . .). . As do I , On with the show! (Last I checked this was a story, not a television broadcast) Quiet you (Yes, sir. . .although a television broadcast of Angel Attacks and a story from the perspective of a civilian would be quite interesting, like something out of War of the Worlds even!) I said shut up. . .

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Evangelion, The Beatles, A Wonderful Life, or anything else I bluntly parody/abuse to death. And if I did Gendo would constantly be abused by his babies daddy, and Asuka/Shinji would be the ultimate pairing for all eternity.

Previous Chapter: Gendo woke up in an very odd dark place. He slowly started to make himself go insane, while a man constantly called him Lenny. Who is this man and Who the hell is Lenny? More questions and fewer answers in this installment of, A Horrible Life. (I will eventually provide a logical reasoning behind all of this. . .at the very end. . .Maybe something parodying the Matrix, yeah. . .got it all in my head already. Sadly we're far from the end, and this weird little story has just started.) "kills alter ego" ENJOY!

Chapter 2: Parallel Universe? Worm Holes? Bird Songs? Bah, humbug! (sadly the chapter title is too long to fit into the chapter thingy. . .yeah I'm descriptive like that : p). . .

Neither man said anything, either they were both too shocked or happened to have constipation at the exact same time. Which would only make the unbearable smell of the office escalate to new levels that would normally kill anyone's nose. It wasn't until a happy blue jay flew by the window and sang it's expressive freedom song that any movement had occurred. In a flash that would defy lightning and make The Flash seem like a snail, both of them grabbed pens on the coffee table nearby. One of which was thrown at the speed of light, stabbing the bird into the brick by a wing.

The bird looked at it's wing in horror, and at the two men, specifically the one that had thrown the pin. He didn't stand out in anyway except for his dark brown hair, the fixed expression of anger, and those odd orange glasses. That was when the bird swore vengeance. It knew that someday it would get revenge on the one that had done that to him. Until then, it would do the best thing it could do. Sing the sad sorrow filled song of the shallow. However since this was a blue jay its singing was mighty sketchy, so it decidedly sang the Cage Bird Song. But to no avail, this bird just sucked at singing, that was when the pen slipped out of it's wing, and it started to fall to its inevitable death.

The decent to its death was fast approaching, but what happened next was truly something unthinkable. The mathematics behind the phenomenon would be boundless. The bird, seemingly just disappeared, and was replaced by a colorful, imaginative drawing of a horrible trainwreck with many bodies littered around it, like something out of Stephen King. It was simply signed, Lenny. It gracefully fell to the streets far below, as it did, one thought was on its impossible to have mind, When will the pain end?

The two men were too busy facing each other to notice the impossible, their pens were rasied just like a Mexican stand-off. One would be standing by the old dusted saloon, his back facing the vast desert beyond. The other with his back facing the town's clocktower. However since this was in an office, the saloon was the mini bar and the vast desert was really just an aquarium filled with exotic fishes. And the clocktower? That would be the man's Jacuzzi. Sometimes all stress needs to do is be released through a channel of calming waters. A mentality that not many people carry, and for a very good reason.

Both of them passed the same hard stares, both were thinking the same thing. What the hell is going on here? However, neither one said anything, fearing that each would stumble blindly into the others words. It was as tense and as awkward as anything could be. That was when the silence was broken by the old mans office clock, it rang twelve times. The only thing that would make the moment complete was if there was a mariachi band there to play the Desperado music.

"Whoever you are, I would greatly appreciate if you left. You have wasted one of my paitant's valuable time. If you don't leave I will be forced to make you leave. Is that clear?" the man said, still with his pen rasied. Gendo didn't really like the fact that he of all people was being ordered around, but he also didn't like the fact that he had no idea where the hell he was. He was about to protest when the man had then continued with more of a speech, however he dropped his pen. If Gendo wanted to strike and make him die at high noon, he had just been given the perfect opportunity.

"Surprisingly though you look, sound, and act so much like him" he looked through Gendo ,as if into his soul, for a short moment before continuing. "Must be the glasses" the old man finally concluded. Gendo was about to facefault at this when he knew better. For that would show confusion in words, someone must know and understand everything in order to rule. That's his best conclusion? Honestly, I doubt I've been here for over three hours. Something must of happened. But what? And why. . .why does he look so much like. . .But his thoughts were interrupted by the laughs coming from the old man.

A hack and a short wheeze later the man returned to normal. "The look of confusion on the young, when one is scared of an idea their face scrunches up. You doubt my reasoning, boy? Are you saying you truly are Lenny?" this only made the man laugh even more. Before Gendo could even get a word in edgewise, the old man continued with his little speech. "I know you couldn't possibly be Lenny, he would never make such progress." he paused as he grabbed a bottle of vodka from his mini-bar. "So what exactly is a Yui?" the old man asked taking a swig of the concoction.

The anger that was boiling in Gendo couldn't be higher, he was a tea kettle that was ready to explode. First he decides laugh in his face and now he asks him what a Yui was? The nerve of the man! If he wasn't my only source of information, I'd pound his face in. . ."Listen, Fuyutski, fir-" but before Gendo could finish his sentence the old man had interrupted him yet again. It was honestly starting to grow annoying, and if Gendo wasn't in his confused state he'd have actually done something about it.

"How do you know my name?" Fuyutski asked in a rather, I've Never Met You Before, Scumbag, Tone. Gendo had gone from confused to over the limit busted on too much marijuana confused. If that's even possible. His face was that of a child, one that was just told something that it's brain couldn't decipher. He noticed the name plate on his rich magjoney desk, and pointed to that, in hopes that Fuyutski would understand him. His mind just couldn't fathom the words.

"You say you want to be one of my paitants? Well, I'll have to look in my notebook, but I think I could fit you in on Thursday." Fuyutski paused having found his planner in one of the endless books on the wall. "Yeah, Thursday at 7 p.m. works for me" he looked up to see a catatonic Gendo. "You do know what a Thursday is, right?" the physiatrist just laughed at that as he quickly pushed the breathless Gendo out of his office. "Hurry along, I have other people I need to see today" he said pushing him out the door and down the steps.

"But-I-I mean, when, how, Lenny, why, Thursday?" Gendo currently didn't have the ability to form a sentence. If he was getting arrested by the cops for his wrong doings of the past, they'd actually be able to bring him in. What he saw next only made him all the more confused. Was that Chairman Keel? No, it couldn't be. But, what would he be doing here? What am I doing here! I haven't been this confused since I saw Star Trek. The whole place seemed to do the ripple effect as the unneeded flashback occurred. "So, what is he, an elf?" he said it, mimicking the three word at a time, Captain Kirk. Then the ripple effect reserved itself, and everyone acted as if that short break had never happened.

"Hey, hey! Lead Psychologist Keel! You know, that last seminar you did, was quite impressive, very interesting! Anyhoo, I was wondering if I could take the day off tomorrow?" Fuyutski asked using the, I compliment you, you reward me tactic. Gendo heard a small murmur from Keel, however his hearing seemed to be wavering in and out. "Oh, but why! It's the day the Great Opressor was killed! It's a holiday!" Fuyutski begged. Another undistinguishable murmur came from Keel, however he did catch the last five words. 'He isn't of the honor'

Who isn't of the honor? And who's the Great Opressor? Gendo didn't even notice he was pushed out of the entrance already, at the moment he didn't really care. He could still hear their conversation slightly, and heard something about ghosts, and dung beetles. He wasn't going to bother to think about it. On the other hand, he didn't really know what to do, so he just stood there for a while. Might as well walk around and ask questions. Nothing better to do.That was when something fell on his head, a rather light something. It was a piece of paper. He looked at it for a minute, and couldn't really tell what it was.

It may have been a train, it may have been a giant Subway sandwich, it may have been a Third Grader's art project, but one thing that disturbed Gendo, to the core, was the word at the bottom. That word was, Lenny. Disgusted he threw it into the trash, and didn't think much of it.

ANs: Eh, I didn't like this chapter all that much, but it's needed for plot points, character development, among other things. My previous chapter, Lenny, was 10 times better. Course I'm just the berating author. It's the people that decide whether something is good or not. It's what the stories for afterall. I got a little pattern going on here, some people might catch on to it, and maybe even the fore-shadowing I've put in, so far. What I can't believe though is that no one has ever thought of this before! Not one person! (Well, you're special. . .) "kills alter ego, again" Oh well, I'll try to fit more humor/parody in the next chapter. Speaking of which. . .

Next Chapter: That's How We Do It In Kansas (Yes, that's correct. He added a new section. It's purpose? To tell you the name of the next chapter. . .and that's it. . .yeah when I first heard it, it was the stupidest idea ever and you know what? It still is, even stupider then when they let a drunk person drive an airplane into WTC.) Yes, he did just insult the Al Queda. . .idiot. . .(You're one to talk) "kills alter ego, one last time"

Thanks to my proofreaders and thanks to anyone who reviews. As Always:

Read it? Good

Review it? Even Better! (Which I would greatly prefer) . . .Didn't I kill you three times already? (Nope) I swore I did. (No, you didn't) I know I did. (I guess I'm like John Madden ,no matter how much you don't want me here, I'll still be here, just to state the obvious) Great. . .

All reviews are readily accepted, just like Michael Jackson and little boys!. . .Except flames, if you're going to flame me, I won't even bother responding to you. Someone of that kind of low calibur doesn't deserve the attention. But reviews of praise, comments (that's new. . .) or constructive criticism are openly accepted! More information on AHL, and other stories can be found in my profile.