Litter of Misfits

by Minnionette

A naked, 3 year old Naruto wandering into her dog kennels in the middle of the night? That was a shock. Inuzuka Tsume latching onto this stray and claiming him as her own? Not a shock. After all, Naruto isn't the first naked, abandoned stray that Tsume kept, and Danzo would eat the Hokage's hat if Naruto is the last stray she ever brings home. Want Of A Nail AU (VERY dark themes.)

39. Beta Years - Chapter Two

Author's notes: Okay, in my defense, my kitchen has been under construction for the last six weeks, and my computer got buried beneath all the stuff, and I couldn't reach it. Also, I was unable to nest with all my kitchen appliances and furniture shoved into the living room, so my anxiety was high, so I just buried my nose in my crochet and tried to ignore it all. And then I started watching Tangled the Animated Series with my daughter, and now I am emotionally invested in everyone's lives. I took advantage of my husband going hunting last weekend to put stuff away (although he wasn't yet done) and nested to my heart's content. Also, I unburied my computer.

So, there are some additional changes to this chapter from when it was originally posted several years ago - mainly, the interaction between Kagami and Tsume. There is a sound reason for getting Shinchuu pregnant, and we'll see it next chapter when Kagsmi tells Tsume what Hiroaki wants to name the baby...

o-o-o

o-o-o-o

o-o-o-o-o

The circus consisted of one gigantic, scarlet silk tent surrounded by a dozen or so smaller tents of varying sizes and colors. Various people wearing brightly colored and mismatched clothes dashed around the makeshift grounds, intent on fulfilling their own duties. Aunt Natsumi looked more like she belonged at the circus then Konoha, since her current wardrobe was a mixture of various plaids and stripes.

She sighed as Tsume and her ninken came to a halt so Tsume could orient herself to the new surroundings. "I wish I could tell you how much this reminds me of when I was just a girl, and our clan roamed the prairies and the woods, beholden to no man. Then again, it was a different world back then, much more brutal and hostile." She tilted her head in thought. "And very little by way of plumbing, come to think of it."

Tsume appreciated indoor plumbing as much as the next girl. Given how Aunt Natsumi sometimes reminisced on the old days, Tsume figured she was better off living in modern times with modern conveniences, rather than the stone age that was Aunt Natsumi's girlhood. She tuned out Aunt Natsumi's rambling as she tried to get her eyes to focus on everything her nose told her.

In addition to the Konoha nin who were mingling with the circus workers, there were many different exotic animals that she had only ever smelled from a great distance before. In a small grassy area, held in place by impossibly small ropes tethered from a hind leg to a simple stake in the ground, were gigantic gray creatures with wing-like ears that they flapped, and long prehensile noses. Tsume tugged on Aunt Natsumi's blue and green pinstriped sleeve and pointed. "Are those elephants?"

A jovial voice from behind answered. "They are indeed, Tsume-chan!" Jiraiya squeezed himself between Aunt Natsumi and Tsume, throwing his arms out to drape them over each Inuzuka's shoulders, and tugged them close. Tsume's hair brushed his cheek as he stooped, although he was slightly taller than Aunt Natsumi. "Aren't they beauties? They come from the most tropical parts of the Dark Continent. See, Tsume, how they're tied to the stakes there?"

Tsume nodded, and resisted the urge to push Jiraiya's arm away. "They must be very well trained to stay in place like that." She would never be able to keep any of her ninken in place with a simple stake and rope.

"They are. A gigantic animal like that – thought to be the strongest of any animal ever—"

"Excuse me, I have some whales that would disagree."

"—okay, strongest unsummoned land animal ever – although I think you're just quibbling over semantics, Natsumi-san – that could easily uproot the stake and make a break for freedom. But an elephant also has the greatest memory in the animal kingdom. An elephant never forgets. When the elephant is just a baby, it's tethered in place with a rope and stake that are strong enough to hold it. If it tries to break away, the rope would cut into the baby elephant's leg, and the discomfort worsens with increased struggle. Eventually, the baby elephant realizes that it can't escape."

Tsume scratched her head. "And since an elephant never forgets, then it understands it won't escape and will only feel pain if it tries to escape as an adult, even if it could succeed?" It seemed immensely impossible to Tsume to never forget a thing, not to mention overwhelming. There was only a finite amount of room in her head, after all, and she still occasionally suffered headaches if too many thoughts and outward stimulus crowded all at once.

"You are correct, Tsume-chan. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Hastily wiping the drool from his mouth, Jiraiya slipped away from them to closely follow a pair of shapely women with elaborately coifed hair walking past. He moved without making a sound and rubbed his two hands together.

"Remember that," Aunt Natsumi whispered.

"Remember what?"

Aunt Natsumi gestured towards the elephants. The copper bangles that she wore today rattled on her wrist. "Remember that elephants are conditioned from their birth to accept their captivity without question. They are not the only ones."

Tsume turned the words over in her head as she led them to where the others congregated, surrounding Enkan as he stood atop a barrel where he could look down upon everyone. Was Aunt Natsumi talking about Tsume, the Inuzuka clan, or shinobi in general? Enkan was silent with his arms crossed behind himself, dark eyes sharp and thoughtful as he studied each face. Tsume elbowed around until she and her ninken joined Kushina's side. Kushina balanced Kakashi on her hip; Sakumo stood beside them, craning his neck so he could look around. Orochimaru was also present, seated beneath a nearby tree. In the mottled shadows beneath the tree, he was as still as a statue, eyes shifting from person to person. He looked as bored as he smelled.

Tsume entertained herself by sniffing out the tigers (bored, hungry, restless) and comparing them to Danzo, who stood behind Enkan with shoulders hunched and arms crossed belligerently before himself (bored, hungry, restless). Then she worked on figuring out where Enkan's clothes came from. The billowing blue pants had been dyed in the Land of Rivers, the cream-colored linen shirt that was open half-way down the front to reveal a thick matt of dark, curly chest hair had been obtained in the Land of Wind, and his cotton underwear had come from the Land of Water.

By the time that Tsume had figured out that the man's socks was made from wool imported from the Land of Lightning but constructed in the Land of Wind, Yuu and his team had arrived, and Enkan was clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "I see that everyone arrived on time. Good job. Punctuality is an important characteristic in the circus. Everything is tightly scheduled in travel, set-up and tear-down, and performances. There is very little room for error."

He jumped off the barrel and stalked through people, eyes flickering from person to person. "Understand that you are mine for the entirety of your remaining presence. I own you, body, mind, and soul. You will eat, breathe, sleep, and live the circus. In whatever capacity you are assigned, you will meet and exceed my every expectation." He stopped at the edge of their group, and gave Aunt Natsumi a wry smile. "Which shouldn't be difficult for any Konoha shinobi." He turned around, snapping his heels together and raising his chin in the air. "For this next week, you will all learn how the circus runs – whether you are a star performer, or a sideshow act. You will be assigned as the following..."

Tsume waited for her name to be called out, but with every passing call in which she was ignored, as Kakashi was given to her so Kushina could follow a tall, slender woman with shiny caramel-colored hair and broad shoulders, she felt like finding a hole and pulling the dirt over her head. After everyone but Aunt Natsumi and Orochimaru had left (Sakumo had taken Kakashi and followed after Danzo with the circus foreman), Tsume felt awkward and out of place.

Enkan considered her with his sharp eyes as he tapped his fingertips together. "I have been told that you are a unique case."

She hoped it had more to do with her nose and less to do with her brain injury.

"It was strongly suggested," his eyes flickered towards Sakumo's direction with something similar to disdain, "that you are incapable of memorization. Is this true?"

Tsume did her best not to squirm self-consciously, especially when she felt Orochimaru's gaze digging into her back. She knew there was an area in her brain that was dead, and she became more and more aware of it the longer she was a shinobi and had to face her limitations in learning different jutsus. Sakumo hadn't taught her any elemental jutsu because he wanted her to focus on her clan techniques. She had tried to explain to him that the clan techniques were easy, because Kuromaru memorized most of what had to be done and provided reminders, and the techniques were primarily taijutsu anyway. (She was secretly jealous of Kushina learning a variety of Earth and Fire jutsu, and Kokoro learning a number of Water and Lightening jutsu. She could be given at least three to learn!)

"Memorization isn't my strongest strength. But that doesn't mean I can't be useful!" she hastily added, because she was bound and determined not to get left behind, like Kokoro-chan apparently was going to be. At least Kokoro enjoyed her stints in the T&I, working side-by-side her older brothers, and feeling like she fulfilled an important function.

"How would you be useful to me if you're not going to be able to learn what everyone else is required to learn?"

"I can cook." She was very good at it, too, and everyone needed to eat. She could also seduce any man, but that was probably left unmentioned – it made Sakumo cringe every time she accidentally referred to her seal or stint as a prostitute, and she sure didn't want to bring Orochimaru's attention to the muted siren seal. "And I can tell you anything you want to know about upcoming weather changes, and who, what, and where of any destination… in a reasonable distance." One that she could more-or-less calculate within 25% of its original distance. "And I can too learn, really. It just… it takes me longer and more work." And the expectation that some details would always remain fuzzy, no matter how hard she tried. All too often, especially when faced with multiple questions, Tsume's mind had a tendency to just shut down, and even the simplest questions seemed unanswerable.

"Hmm." Enkan reached out and pinched a lock of hair between his fingers again. "I've never had an Inuzuka in my circus before. I've also been strongly warned against separating you from your ninken." His eyes flickered to Aunt Natsumi, but there was respect in his gaze and admiration in his scent. "I think I'll make you into a sideshow – the girl who was raised by wild wolves and only recently returned to civilization from where you had been surviving in the wild of Iron. You brought along some of your wolf siblings, of course, since the ninken look close enough to wolves to pass the inspection of your average civilian. As for your training with the circus… well, if cooking what you're good at, then you can help out with the kitchens. Gods know that those men require someone with a sense of taste. They can always use more dishwashers, and kitchen workers are usually too busy to help with set-up and tear-down because we circus people are a hungry, demanding bunch of babies." Then he turned away from Tsume in a clear dismissal. "You," he told Aunt Natsumi, "will take the place of my last fortune teller."

She frowned at that. "What happened to your last one, and how the hell am I supposed to read someone's future?"

"My last one was too drunk to see the sharp drop-off, and broke his leg. He wasn't any good at reading the future, either. Just bullshit your way through it – you learned how to play cards from the Senju, after all. Wear significantly more tacky jewelry, speak vaguely, and you'll do just fine. You've already got the extravagant and eccentric wardrobe down, so I won't have to change much of anything about you."

Aunt Natsumi sulked and smoothed down the front of her forest-green and tan plaid skirt. "I wear layers because I'm old and get cold easily." She grumbled under her breath as Enkan glided away. Then she glared at Orochimaru. "What are you supposed to do?"

He slid out of the shadows, as slick and as fluid as oil. "My job at the circus is to be the snake charmer."

"Shocking," Aunt Natsumi declared flatly, hand fluttering to her breast.

"I'm surprised that you wouldn't be employed in like manner, given how many exotic creatures are at your disposal that the circus lacks."

"Problem with that is that it requires chakra, and if we're going into various enemy territories, we can't let them know how many of us have developed chakra. My level is so great that I'm better off keeping it well-hidden."

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes in irritation, probably because his chakra levels couldn't match Aunt Natsumi's. To be fair to Orochimaru, not many people did. Tsume suspected that Kushina probably would meet, or even surpass, Aunt Natsumi.

Since this entire mission was basically one long test to see whether she was ready to be a chuunin, Tsume figured that taking the initiative would weigh in her favor – that, and she didn't want to stick around Orochimaru; he still gave her the creepy-crawly feeling and a strong need to bathe. Everyone else had left to learn about the circus, even though they were assigned people for orientation, so she decided that she could find the kitchens and introduce herself. After all, chuunin were assigned missions all the time and had to figure out where to meet their assignment with only minimal information.

So with the ninken trailing behind and Aunt Natsumi following after, Tsume followed her nose to what was obviously the kitchen tent. Orochimaru trailed along – damn it.

Well, the circus was probably like the wagon train, which meant everyone got crowded together, so she might as well just get used to having Orochimaru constantly encroaching into her personal territory. Chuunin were sometimes assigned to a mission with people they didn't like, so it was the epitome of professionalism for them to get along despite the dislike to have a successful mission. Tsume was rather proud of her own maturity for thinking of this.

The kitchen tent was surrounded by various benches and garbage cans that had been recently emptied. The tent walls were raised and tied in place to allow the light spring breeze to drift through – the better in which to survive slaving over a hot grill in Konoha's summer weather. The only kitchen staff present were three unshaven old men, seated together at a folding table with cards and dice scattered between them. As Tsume approached, one gulped down a mouthful of spiked tea, the second puffed on a gigantic, foul-smelling cigar, and the third belched and scratched his exposed belly.

It had been a while since Tsume had seen that much hair on a human belly.

"Whatcha want, kid?" the second asked around his cigar.

"I'm with the Konoha team. Enkan told me to focus on helping out with the kitchen." When the three men just stared at her blandly, scents disbelieving and bored, Tsume hastened to add, "You three look capable of cooking, and I'm quite skilled with washing dishes and general cleanup." In Tsume's two years of experience doing D-rank missions, cleanup of any sort was the most disliked part of any chore, and therefore made up the bulk of missions. Tsume figured that two years of washing dishes, pots, pans, scrubbing floors, repairing roofs and fences, and the occasional weeding and garbage pickup, had provided plenty of discipline and preparation in allowing her to work in what qualified as the circus mess hall.

Kushina had once complained that there was no purpose to D rank missions. Sakumo had merely smiled at her, ruffled her glorious red hair, and said, "When you have to infiltrate an enemy's stronghold, remember that few look twice at the gardener who uses their skills to scope out the perimeter and changing shifts of the guards."

Tsume always figured that if she had to assassinate someone, she'd just get a job in the kitchen and feed her target poisoned meatloaf. Or use her siren seal. (She inwardly cringed at the idea of using her seal on these three men, especially with Orochimaru standing behind her.)

The three men exchanged looks. The second tossed his cards on the table and scratched his jaw as he considered her. "Well, most people are more willing to clean up after the elephants than other human beings, so we can always use more help."

The first made a rude noise as he hunched over his cards. "That's 'cause the elephants are a hair more grateful. They don't snort down their food, chew with their mouths open, leave leftovers all over to attract the mice and flies, and have a fit when the food ain't done to their specific liking."

The third nodded his head in agreement as he sucked on his cigar. With smoke streaming from both nostrils, he pointed at the ninken. "What's with all the dogs?"

Aunt Natsumi answered. "They're Tsume's ninken, and they go with her. Apparently, Tsume's supposed to be a new sideshow."

"What?" The third looked like a snorting dragon. "Enkan's trying the whole raised in the wild by wolves shit, again?"

The second nudged the third. "At least the mutts look more realistically wild and wolf-like. The poodles with the last act were a little hard to swallow."

Kuromaru raised his head and stared at the men, unblinking. "We're Inuzuka ninken."

The three men regarded the ninken silently, before the first, who smelled like a distant relation to the Inuzuka clan, finally grinned and said, "Well, I'll be damned. He really did find someone who was raised by a pack of wolves then. We could always use more authenticity around here, when everything is smoke, mirrors, and makeup."

Tsume didn't know how authentic a circus could be if it was run by a bunch of ninjas. Wasn't deception the point?

The third stubbed his cigar out and stood. "Well, may as well show you around, kid. I want to make sure you know your ass from the dull end of a spoon before I let you just roam the kitchen. If nothing else though, you can pick up the garbage. Know you won't miss anything – can probably hunt it down better with your nose than we could with all our glorious experience."

Tsume and her ninken followed closely at the man's heels, and she hoped that Kuromaru would be paying attention.

oOoOoOo

Enkan had Tsume and Hotaru assemble at his side around lunchtime. Wearing a stained apron, after she had been upgraded to "all around food-prepper" because she had been successfully able to identify every questionable spice the three cooks had (and pleased that her ninken had chosen to keep away all rats, mice, wild cats, and crows from the food storage), Tsume tried to ignore how the near-by Uchiha twins pointed and whispered at her.

Tsume was vindictive and petty enough to feel superior about how she wasn't singed at all, whereas the twins looked like they had been blasted with fire several times already. Their clothes were charred, their hair was singed, and they smelled like lamp oil.

Enkan impatiently waved the twins off. "Go get some food," he said in mild disdain. He waited until the twins were out of earshot before he looked at Tsume and said, "I thought that the Uchiha were skilled enough with their katon jutsu to successfully eat fire."

Tsume figured that he was trying to make polite conversation with her. She wondered how a person ate fire – it sounded rather uncomfortable. "Uchiha normally spit the fire out in fireballs. It's probably really weird for them to suck it all in."

From behind, silent in her approach but her own scent of simmering resentment a dead giveaway, Hotaru said, "In my experience, Uchiha have a lot of difficulty in swallowing, especially their own pride, and they do take great pride in their Grand Fireballs." Tsume gave Hotaru a friendly smile, which Hotaru managed to return with a nervous upturn of her lips. Tsume shuffled closer, because there was power in numbers and freaks had to stick together. The ninken crowded them, nudging Hotaru's hands that were hidden in her voluminous sleeves. Some of the tension left Hotaru's shoulders.

"How are you exploring the circus?" Enkan asked them.

Hotaru shrugged. "I wouldn't know. I was busy taking care of the tigers' flea infestation."

"I helped fix lunch." Cutting up the vegetables for the sloppy stew totally counted as cooking. And her teammates better be grateful! If Tsume hadn't proved her proficiency with washing and chopping, then the stew would've been flavored with unwashed dirt clinging to choking hazard-sized potato and carrot chunks. She had also ninja-spiced it when the cooks weren't looking with some cardamom, ginger, and a pinch of allspice. It was going to be delicious.

Enkan twirled one side of his waxed mustache as he regarded the two teenaged kunoichi. "Gods above know that lunch was probably beyond any repair. So, you both made yourself useful but you haven't exactly found out everything about the circus."

Hotaru ducked her chin so that her collar muffled her words. "With all due respect, sir, my kikaichu are spread out, supplying and feeding me information of which you wouldn't be aware of. I know where everyone and everything is at, even if it's not in the right place. Blame that on your staff hitting the sake, early."

"Me too. Well, I don't have kikaichu," Tsume hastened to add when Hotaru raised her eyebrows, "but I already found out everything – who people are, where they've been from, how they're feeling, and the same with all the goods. By the way, when they serve the bread with tonight's stew, don't eat it, because some mice got into the bread bag, so the cooks just tossed out what had been visibly chewed on, but just trust me when I say that some of the mice had some bad digestive problems."

Enkan flashed his teeth in a smile – he had perfect teeth, almost blindingly white. "Well, that wasn't what I meant, but you both come from clans where gathering Intel is something that is inherent in everything that you do. You're both probably wondering why I want you to be sideshows, performances that highlight your abnormalities."

Tsume didn't have to wonder about Hotaru, but she remembered the way that Enkan had pinched a lock of her hair last night. Was her hair honestly abnormal?

Enkan turned his back to the girls, folding his hands behind himself and standing tall and straight as he surveyed the circus tents and the people moving around them. "Your companions will be spotlighted and their talents showcased. Why not you two? It's just like the background workers. Everyone's eyes will be upon the lovely lady in red as she poses with the elephants, but who pays attention to the elephant handler? As it is with the sideshows, onlookers will immediately categorize you – most likely as stupid, freakish, odd – and dismiss you. People will be unguarded, and they are at their most honest and vulnerable in such a state. It will be to your advantage as kunoichi, as neither of you are likely to be successful in the traditional intel-gathering of most kunoichi."

The Inuzuka had relied on their nose for intel-gathering as long as the clan has been in existence. Tsume leaned close to Hotaru. "Psst. What's the traditional intel-gathering?"

"Sex."

Wait a minute… Tsume could be very successful in traditional sex if she wanted to! This whole thing was starting to metaphorically smell like a week-dead fish left in the sun. Tsume raised her voice. "So, Hotaru and I get to figure out how to get intel without seducing the enemy?"

Enkan's expression was bored as he looked over his shoulder at them. "Don't be ridiculous. You both have already figured it out. What neither of you, per word from your sensei, have learned is which intel is useful and necessary, and what is superfluous and misleading. For all intents and purposes, this mission is nothing more than one large, continuous exam on your talents, skills, and leadership capabilities. It would behoove you to shore up your weaknesses and highlight your strengths." With those final words, Enkan marched away.

Hotaru hunched further into her jacket. "Well, that was useful," she muttered into her collar. She dropped her voice in a low imitation of Enkan's. " 'Let me insult you for making independent decisions since I couldn't be bothered to give you any decent direction, and then explain that it's your fault because you're just icky.' I am fairly sure that I hate this mission already, and we're only two hours into something that's going to be months long."

After a moment, Tsume nudged her. "Hey, if you're looking for a place to make yourself busy – besides the tigers' cage, I mean – I bet the cooks would let you help out in the kitchens if you prove you can keep flies away from the food."

Hotaru nodded her head. After a moment of following after Tsume, Hotaru said, "I should be used to people thinking that the Aburame are freaks. It's just… I'm going to be put on display, and my bugs aren't freaky. They're awesome."

Tsume patted Hotaru's arm, careful not to crush some of the stray kikaichu that clung to Hotaru's coat. "Well, ninja are all about display – although Danzo says that ninja are best not seen or heard – so it's more of an illusion for us." Tsume understood genjutsu. "Other people are going to think whatever they want, and sometimes it's not worth the effort of changing their mind." That was probably the best thing she got out of her therapy with Yuu. "So go with the flow, and just be the best kunoichi you can be." After a moment, she added, "Your bugs are totally awesome." They were totally better than wasps.

Hotaru smiled. "You make things seem so simple."

Tsume shrugged as her hand slid away. "That's what I am, Hotaru-chan. Simpleton Tsume." She watched a curious kikaichu crawl across the back of her hand. She gently deposited it into her abnormal (really?) hair.

Hotaru made a noncommittal sound that may or may not have been a disagreement, but some of the bitterness had eased out of her scent. Tsume made a mental note to talk to Hotaru's teammates. Mooncalf and Osamu would need to give Hotaru more support, because even if they all had different duties now at the circus, they were still a team, and you just stick together with your team.

As she introduced Hotaru to Arata, Jurou, and Kohaku, Tsume did her best not to think about poor Kokoro-chan.

oOoOoOo

Within one day, Tsume more or less established the kitchen and eating area as her domain. She thought of it as such in her mind, and referred to it as such when she and Kushina described their first day to Kokoro that night, and the notion still hadn't changed when she and Kushina met up with Sakumo the next morning.

"Look, I need to ask some questions," Kushina began as they met together beneath a tree that was just starting to get shady. Sakumo had brought Kakashi along, and Kakashi was using chakra to throw sticks for Ichi and Ni to catch. It was early enough in the morning that the dew hadn't burned off the grass yet, and Tsume sat beside Kushina and enjoyed the fresh scent of newly baked bread from the Akimichi district.

The Akimichi always had the best best-smelling bakery goods. Tsume had been very sad when Cousin Chumou turned down Akimichi Shota's courting attempts, because Shota always brought the most delicious freshest bread and donuts. Ever since Shota's heart was broken, Tsume and the rest of the Inuzuka were only allowed stale, day-old bread out of retaliation. Oyubi had to talk Tsume out of using her siren seal on Shota just for fresh mochi, two weeks ago.

("It's not worth it, Tsume!"

"But – but it's fresh mochi, Oyubi! Fresh! From the Akimichi bakery!"

"Stay strong. I know it's tempting, and that it sometimes feels like the mochi is good enough to wage wars upon, but it's not. Trust me – no mochi is worth the lecture you'd get from the Captain.")

"You may ask."

"Everyone is going on about how this is basically just one big test to become a chuunin, but it's still a mission, and I would still be expected to obtain as much intel as possible on a mission so I can succeed and not get killed."

Sakumo smiled proudly and ruffled Kushina's hair. "Yes."

"And regardless of anything else, you're still our sensei."

"Absolutely."

"Why a circus, and why do I have to be an aerial silk dancer? I'm a kunoichi – I'm a warrior, born and bred, not some kind of trapeze floozy."

"Hmm. Why indeed?" Sakumo folded his legs and leaned forward, regarding both girls with fondness. Tsume liked his scent as well, and today there was nothing sad or weighty about Sakumo's scent. This was the best sort of morning. "We talked about this last month, when you all had to dress up as cleaning girls at Noburu Palace for extra security to make sure that his daughter's fiancé didn't fly the coop before he made her an honest woman." He looked at Tsume. "Do you remember what was said?"

Tsume wracked her memory as Kushina sulked. "Um. Something about how all those D rank missions were finally paying off because we didn't look like amateurs who didn't know one end of the feather duster from another and we wouldn't embarrass the noble family any more than their daughter getting knocked up outside of wedlock?"

Sakumo rubbed his chin. "Huh. Is that how I said it? Eh, close enough. Actually, proving how adept you are at being something you've never received the training on, especially something that seems antithesis to who or what you are, is part of the exam. Even as your sensei, I won't be able to help you through this the way I've done in the past, Kushina. Genin are reactive – I give the orders, and you obey. Chuunin are proactive. They need to get involved without guidance, and must adapt to unplanned situations and circumstances. This is your time to shine – figuratively speaking, since I know you're going to be in the literal spotlight for this mission – and prove that you're ready to become a chuunin. Just as we've accepted and performed all those missions that you girls didn't like, so will you be assigned a mission you won't like, performing some action or fulfilling a vocation that you won't like as a chuunin." As he spoke, Sakumo's eyes flickered to Tsume, and his scent rippled with sorrow.

Kushina followed his gaze to Tsume, and her face fell. "Oh. I get it."

Tsume decided to pay attention to Kakashi. Even though he was mature and smarter than her, he was still a toddler who needed to be watched after and taken care of. (Honestly – she's moved on from the pain and the embarrassment, and couldn't remember half of what happened anyway. How come other people couldn't move on?) Kakashi was trying to talk Ni into walking on the nearby pond to fetch the floating stick, but Ni was refusing.

"I still don't get why Kokoro-chan can't come," Tsume said, finally turning away from Kakashi as Ichi snagged the back of Kakashi's shirt when he tried water-walking to the stick and dragged him back to Sakumo.

"Ah, just as the Hokage will assign missions that are suited to our strengths, so must we be tested on such. Kokoro will have her own test. She's as active kunoichi in a wheelchair, Tsume. I don't know if you realize just how rare it is that someone would be able to continue her career despite such a handicap, and she's going to be severely limited at the circus. She'll stick out like a sore thumb, and we're testing you all on how well you blend in to whatever environment you're assigned."

"She could still ride San."

"It would call doubt to you being raised by wolves in the wilderness and roaming half-wild if one of your ferocious wolves were seen giving a lift to a paraplegic teenager."

Shi growled at Kakashi and scolded him for getting his shoes plastered with mud.

"It's not much of an act," Tsume told Kushina when Kushina looked at her in question. The discussion they had last night didn't get around to what their acts were supposed to be. Neither Kushina or Tsume had wanted Kokoro to feel worse about being left out. "Basically, I was abandoned at birth and raised by a pack of wild wolves. Enkan found and trapped me just a year ago, somewhere in Iron Country, but some of the pack insisted on staying with me, so now Enkan is trying to civilize me. I'm supposed to roam the circus grounds in basically no clothes and no paints, covered in dirt, and I get to growl and snarl at people like a wild savage."

Kushina covered her mouth, but Tsume suspected it was more to hide her amusement than anything else. "So… in other words, you're going to be just like the Inuzuka of old without the war paints."

"Yeah, that's what Aunt Natsumi said, but we're still trying to figure out the costume." Aunt Natsumi had also said that Tsume would have to wear a chest band, because "those little apples of yours may not bounce around a lot, but they should probably still be covered to protect the delicate Uchiha sensibilities." Tsume didn't really think there was anything delicate about the Uchiha, and didn't care about protecting their sensibilities – she also didn't know why Aunt Natsumi cared so much about protecting their sensibilities – but she did suspect that Mooncalf would be terribly embarrassed, and she didn't really want to do that to him, especially after what he said to her yesterday evening.

("Hey, thanks for taking Hotaru-chan under your wing, Tsume."

"It's no problem. Enkan's words really hurt her."

"Yeah, I could see that. Usually she's pretty laidback, but she's feeling really self-conscious after that. Osamu and I will support her—we think she's awesome – but you've got more freedom to be around her than we do, and the more support she gets the better."

"Hey, don't worry about it. We Konoha nin got to stick together, Mooncalf."

"I know. It's just…" He smiled at her, the worry dissipating from his face like the sun breaking through the heaviest layer of storm clouds. "Well, you've always looked after other strays, and it makes me feel better knowing that Hotaru-chan is in good hands.")

"I think I'd much rather run around in dirt and rags and wild wolves than be crammed into silk again."

"You'll do just fine, Kushina." Sakumo ruffled her wonderful red hair. The sun light up her hair with gold highlights, and Tsume wished her hair wasn't spiky or brown or sticking up wildly like she got struck by a bolt of lightning chakra. "Your costume is probably much better than mine – I'll be wearing a big red nose, white face paint, and a bright yellow costume."

"Oh dear." Kushina wrinkled her nose. "Yellow is not your color, sensei."

He sighed and shrugged. "I know. I tried to tell them that I would look much more grand in green, but I was firmly told I'm a clown – and clowns are not allowed anything grand. Such is how it goes with missions, Kushina. This isn't the most flattering mission for any of us, because misery loves company and all that, and we'll all be keeping good company together. Now, let's go before we're late and Danzo decides to lecture us again on proper mission etiquette like he did two months ago."

oOoOoOo

In establishing the kitchen wagon as her own personal territory, Tsume was in a good position to get all the gossip and to meet everyone. Most of the people agreed that the quality of food had definitely improved now that there was someone with an applicable knowledge of spices that extended beyond salt and stale garlic. With improved food flavor, other circus workers were more amiable towards what they considered to be an intrusion of outsiders.

"Don't get me wrong, Jo-chan." Ami-chan was one of the older aerial silk dancers, and was also training Mikoto and Kushina. Up close, Tsume could see the fine lines that surrounded the woman's mouth, and just how deeply her cheeks were sunken. From a distance and with judicious stage makeup, Ami-chan was a stunning woman of indeterminable age. "Before the war, Enkan would run this mission for Konoha every three years or so. He makes quite the profit, and those of us who help train the little ninjas get year-end bonuses. Thing is, it's not permanent. These apprentices are fleeting and temporary. Pour me another cup of tea, sweetie."

Tsume obeyed. The combined odor of cinnamon and orange peel was a heady combination to her, but it was the most popular contribution that she had made. The tea also helped mask the old, stale scent of alcohol that permeated Ami-chan's pores. Ami-chan sadly reminded her of the oldest ladies who worked with Madame Haori – the ones still too popular to retire, but who had burned out long ago.

"Everyone," Ami-chan continued, "wants to leave behind a legacy. Some leave 'em big, some leave 'em small. But we all want to leave our mark behind when we die. To you ninja, this is just another mission. It probably means more because it's, like, your testing grounds, but you'll move on, and we'll still be here, deprived of our legacy."

"I thought the circus people are also ninja."

Ami-chan snorted. "We are circus first, ninja second."

That made the most sense to Tsume. It sounded like how Tsume was Alpha first, Kunoichi second.

After Ami-chan left to continue Mikoto's training, Arata warned Tsume not to let Ami-chan fall into a maudlin mood again. "Most of us are pretty damn happy with this life, kid. Some, like Ami-chan, had big dreams for the future in her youth, and they didn't quite pan out the way she had hoped. We just don't like the outsider ninja moseying in on our turf because they're newcomers that we have to break into the circus life, and then get to see the backs of in just a few months."

Tsume didn't think that her teammates were subjected the same level of nitty-gritty regrets and maudlin moods. She suspected that it was partly because her teammates were too busy with learning how to set up and tear down the circus in addition to learning their new acts like an intense training for a particularly tricky, high-ranking jutsu, and partly because others considered her safe. Enkan had been right – Tsume was instantly categorized and dismissed as someone who wasn't important, because there didn't seem to be any particular skill needed to play a savage wild child. Of course, her habit of mothering Kakashi in public – especially given how Sakumo left Kakashi in her care while he learned the ins and outs of the circus with the rest of the Konoha nin – probably went very far in establishing how safe she seemed.

One of the cooks was not fooled. "The others may not know the history of the Inuzuka, but I do." Jurou lit one of his fat cigars and puffed smoke rings towards Tsume, because he knew how much it irritated her.

"You're an abandoned son, aren't you?" His scent mixed with her family scent intrigued her, but his Inuzuka mother must've died before Tsume was born, because she couldn't remember the mother's scent.

He laughed. "Well, now, I wouldn't say abandoned. My mother was an Inuzuka who had a torrid affair with a circus strong man years before Enkan inherited the troupe from his father. Somehow, my mother's genes canceled out my father's genes. I can't smell my way out of a paper bag, and the only things I'm good at lifting are the thirty-kilo bags of produce. My dad was very disappointed – I think he wanted me to become a Konoha shinobi or something. Nope; 'tis the circus for me, and not even as an act. And you're not putting up much of an act either, even if no one else can see it. If anyone tried to harm one silver hair on that child's head, there would be hell to pay."

In Tsume's mind, there were too many details in the gossip, and not enough information. She tried to take Enkan's words to heart, of being able to parse out the necessary from the superfluous, but she felt adrift and useless. Tsume spent four days getting comfortable with her kitchen job and occasionally mediating between Danzo and the wardrobe master – the wardrobe master wanted to stick Tsume in some ill-fitting furs, to which Danzo declared that Tsume's tan lines would be too obvious, which in turn made Tsume wonder if she was going to have to sun-bathe nude to get the authentic look of raised-in-the-wild-by-wolves that Danzo demanded, because Danzo felt that authenticity was always a mission requirement. Then Tsume figured that it would be unsafe to sunbathe nude anywhere, because Jiraiya was everywhere, and she hoped that Danzo would understand her reluctance.

Starting the fifth day, Tsume roamed the circus with her ninken and Kakashi on tow to get a feel of people's movements. Her nose could tell her so much – too much, in many cases – so she needed to incorporate her eyes. No one had really said or implied what she needed to do to prove her worthiness as a chuunin, except the twins had told her on the third day that she was unlikely to pass because being a chuunin required crafted thinking skills, and she was too much of a simpleton to succeed. Tsume had strategized with Kokoro on the fourth night, and while Kokoro agreed that Tsume's thinking skills were definitely on the weaker side, she didn't think such was insurmountable.

("The thing is, Tsume-chan, when you do think, you're just unconventional. Most people's thoughts are based off of the knowledge that they acquire, and they usually acquire such with their eyes. Humans in general are very visual creatures, but many of us are also auditory learners – we learn best when we hear direction. Your nose gives you a different base of knowledge that the rest of us doesn't understand, and you rely on your nose to the extent that you barely use your eyes or your ears. So start using your eyes and ears more, because that's the kind of intel people want. They really couldn't care less about the last things someone ate or drank.")

Tsume had tried using her ears, but people had a tendency of talking without really saying anything at all, so she decided to focus on using her eyes. To help hone this skill, she dulled her sense of smell as much as she could and expected Kuromaru to pick up the slack.

One of the elephant handlers noticed Tsume's wandering and decided to give her and Kakashi an impromptu lesson in circus safety. It started out as a lecture about maintaining safe distances and how to direct crowds in case of emergencies, but was soon sidelined when Kakashi, looking as cute and as innocent as he possibly could, politely asked if he could feed one of the baby elephants.

Melting from the onslaught of Kakashi's adorableness, Baki agreed that Kakashi could feed one of the elephants just one banana.

"The elephants aren't dangerous, are they?" Tsume asked as Kakashi peeled the banana with an intense expression.

"Not very, no. If there's a fire, they'll run like any other sensible animal. With creatures this size, you need to stay out of the way because humans just aren't that large of an obstacle to them. A fire will also create a panicked crowd, which will feed into the animals' anxiety, what with all the screaming and fear."

Tsume nodded her head and tried her best to remember what Baki said. When he started explaining what happened ten years ago – a fire erupted in the main tent, the main tent collapsed, and over a hundred people were crushed or burned to death – Tsume concentrated on the fleeting horror she saw in his face, and the tension in his voice.

"And ever since that's happened, everyone has to go through mandatory safety training. I didn't see you there at it yesterday." Baki glared disapprovingly at Tsume. Kakashi giggled as the baby elephant's nose roamed over his hair.

Tsume pondered what she did yesterday. "Hotaru-chan and I were cleaning out the meat lockers." That had been an independent decision on their part, all things considering. And after they cleaned out the moldy meat, ignoring the comment from Jurou that a little bit of vinegar would clean the meat up "and be good as new, no slime or mold or anything," Tsume talked Orochimaru, who was practicing near-by with his snakes, into renewing the cold seals on the lockers.

After Orochimaru took one look at the pile of spoiled meat that Tsume's ninken were busy digging a deep hole in which to bury said pile, Orochimaru complimented Hotaru and Tsume for their insight and work. Since Orochimaru was one of their chuunin judges, Hotaru and Tsume thought that they were doing pretty good so far.

It suddenly occurred to Tsume that missing a mandatory safety meeting probably didn't look good on her record. She wondered if Orochimaru had misled them with his compliments, luring them into a sense of false security and pride. Sakumo liked to say that a shinobi's ego could get himself killed faster than any enemy. On the other hand, the way through anyone's good side was through their stomach, and since Orochimaru got fed with the rest of the circus, maybe he just appreciated not getting food poisoning on top of having to supervise a bunch of snot-nosed genin and chuunin.

As Kakashi was exploring the elephant's ear, pulling it one way and another to check out the texture and flexibility, Tsume hastened to say, "Food poisoning can be very dangerous, too."

Baki's expression was miserable as he nodded his head. "That's true – and always a risk around here so long as Enkan lets those idiots anywhere close to the food. I guess I won't give you too much of a bad time. Why don't you go get this Hotaru-chan, and I'll give you both the mandatory safety training. You'll need to have it done by the time Enkan rounds everyone up tonight for a trial run of their individual acts."

"I'll be right back." Tsume turned to Ichi and Kuromaru. "Watch Kakashi."

It was easy enough to find Hotaru, even with her sense of smell pushed down to its lowest levels. Hotaru was practicing knots with Osamu in the shade of one of the smaller tents. "I already got all the mandatory safety training," she said patiently after Tsume explained why she needed to borrow Hotaru. "One of my kikaichu was with Osamu, and told me everything."

Tsume's nose never would've told her anything about the actual safety training – just the people involved, and a small insight into their activities. There would be very little information on how to be safe. She was slowly realizing what other people meant when they said her amazing sense of smell was still a limit to overcome.

"It would still be good for you to go," Osamu told his teammate. "There's some drills they make you do, and seeing and doing are two different things. Everyone should have hands-on practice."

Hotaru stared at her hands for a moment. "I suppose you're right. Just like with the knots – you don't have a true feel for it until you've actually practiced." She carefully set the ropes and knots aside and jumped off the upside-down barrel she had been seated on.

Tsume couldn't blame Hotaru for wanting to remain with Osamu – he was her teammate, they had stayed at each other's sides through a war, and Tsume was only a makeshift substitute. But Tsume was trying to be supportive and friendly, because Hotaru was Konoha, and that made Hotaru one of Tsume's own. An alpha always looks after her own.

Baki was looking (and smelling) flabbergasted by the time Hotaru and Tsume arrived. "The dog talks," he told Tsume with a flat voice.

Tsume assumed he meant Kuromaru. Kuromaru had been getting speech lessons from Pakkun and Kakashi's other summons ever since they got stuck together when Aunt Natsumi left Konoha with the Uchiha on tow two years ago, because Kakashi was difficult to take care of without verbal communication. Tsume was very proud of Kuromaru, because he was one of the few ninken who chose to learn human speech. Grandmother's ninken had indicated quite strongly that they had no interest in doing the same, including San, even though San enjoyed working with Kokoro despite Kokoro not understanding the ninken's body and scent language.

"I tried to tell him that letting Kakashi ride the elephant would be encouraging unreasonable expectations," Kuromaru said.

Hotaru glanced over. "Ah. Is that why Kakashi is balancing on the large elephant?"

"WHAT?" Baki whipped around. "What are – how did – get down from there right now, kid!"

As Baki rushed over to where the large elephant was placidly browsing the grass and happily ignoring the toddler balancing on top of its head, Hotaru nudged Tsume. "So, is Kakashi an example of what not to do for our safety training?"

Tsume turned to Ichi. "I thought I told you to watch him."

Ichi was smug as he wagged his tail and rolled his tongue at her. I did watch him. I watched him all the way up the back of the elephant. Perhaps you should've been more specific about whether or not I was also supposed to intervene.

Tsume decided that didn't deserve the dignity of a response. When Baki returned with Kakashi tightly tucked beneath an arm, she tried not to look too guilty. Baki sat Kakashi down beside Kuromaru with more force than was probably warranted, and turned to the two genin with a look of concentration. "Your first priority – beside yourselves – will be our guests. A deadly disaster could easily spell the end of the season for us, which is a financial disaster for us."

Tsume did her best to concentrate on remembering what Baki said about where the emergency exits were located, how to direct crowds in different sections to their assigned emergency exits, and how maintain control in a panicked environment. Then he talked about how different performers would be expected to assist in disasters in different manners. After thoroughly lecturing the two girls, he set them off to the main tent to inspect their surroundings, and report back to him which sections should be directed to which exits.

And because Baki looked distressed with the idea of Kakashi being left behind to watch Baki wash the elephants, Tsume brought Kakashi and her ninken along.

"I don't have to learn this," Kakashi said, trying to sound reasonable as he wiggled in Tsume's arms so he could watch Baki.

Tsume tightened her grip on Kakashi. "You never know when you'll have to infiltrate a circus, and knowing where the emergency exits – or any exit at all – is a vital ninja skill. Right, Hotaru-chan?"

"Absolutely."

Kakashi went still in Tsume's arms. She didn't have to look at his face to know that he was thinking something sly and sneaky. Then he curled his arms around her neck and whispered in her ear, "Mission accepted."

Tsume couldn't shake the feeling that she ought to be alarmed with Kakashi's words, but that was soon lost when she and Hotaru entered the main tent. It was far, far larger than any of the other tents, held aloft in the center by three poles that were easily forty meters tall. A circle of shorter poles around the inside parameter continued to hold up the tent, allowing the roof to slope slightly. Several people were already present in the tent, including Mikoto and Kushina, who were both climbing the long strips of silk and practicing different poses. It looked like they were doing katas suspended in mid-air, and the pull of gravity did nothing to decrease their grace or agility.

Hotaru had to poke Tsume twice to redirect her attention to the exits. The spectator sections were filled with rough-hewn chairs, fallen logs, and a number of well-worn mats for people who preferred to kneel or sit. The tent's walls parted at various junctions with hand-written signs posted above, reading Exit (number). Some of the circular-standing poles were also numbered, and Hotaru and Tsume talked about how the people in the sections would have to exit with the corresponding number.

"Makes sense," Hotaru said. "That keeps each exit from being overwhelmed with a flood of panicked people."

"If they have the sense to go to their correct exit," Tsume replied. She wasn't doing a very good job at paying attention to said exits herself – she kept looking back to where Kushina was spinning upside-down in the silk, her long red hair a shimmering curtain beside the emerald-green silk.

"I can do that," Kakashi said, turning a dismissive eye away from Kushina.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't look nearly as pretty," Hotaru said.

"But I can do that."

Tsume bet that Kushina would look way better half-naked in furs than Tsume would, but Kushina also wouldn't be as comfortable. Kakashi would probably have way too much fun wandering around half-naked in furs.

Hotaru, Tsume, and Kakashi explored the big tent for a little while longer to familiarize themselves with the setup and the corded-off areas where performers waited and prepped themselves. They found the Uchiha twins, scraping off another layer of charcoal from their skin.

"Not having much luck with swallowing that fire?" Tsume asked.

Ringo glared at her. "Better luck than you rolling around in the dirt with the rest of the mongrels. Where's your costume? You're supposed to be ready for tonight just like the rest of us."

Tsume was unaware of the need to be ready for anything, and she was pretty sure that it wasn't just because someone told her and she forgot. Tsume followed Hotaru's tugging until they were out of earshot of the twins.

"I don't have a costume either," Hotaru said once they exited the building.

Tsume scratched her head as she tried to think. "Well, I was abandoned as a baby and raised in the wild by a pack of wolves, and I guess my costume is supposed to reflect that. What's your story?"

Hotaru tucked her chin down so that her collar hid most of her lower face. "No one's given me a story, so I think I'll just tell people that I ran away from home and joined the circus because no one else wanted me around. It's always best to keep your story as close to the truth, right?"

Oh, that made Tsume feel even worse. Even though she and Hotaru had both been more-or-less waved off to the side and ignored in favor of their better-looking comrades, at least Enkan had paid enough attention to Tsume to come up with a story. Hotaru didn't even get that. "You really can't wear anything that would highlight the bugs though, right? Because they're sensitive to light."

Hotaru's answering smile was breathtaking as her scent flooded with happiness. Tsume wasn't sure what she said to make Hotaru feel so delightful. "I'm glad you remembered."

"Maybe you can try a trench coat? I mean, instead of making yourself obvious the way that I have to, you can make yourself even more mysterious. Wear the sunglasses that your clan normally does, turn up a high collar…"

"Dress like my other clanmates? Wouldn't that be obvious to people that I'm an Aburame? That would just make it all the more strange that I ran away from home."

"Oh yeah." Tsume wracked her brain for more ideas. "Maybe you can skip the sunglasses and the wide collar, and just wear a big straw hat instead."

"I could do that. It might not pass muster, but it's better to have something on hand than not be prepared at all."

They met with Baku and ran through several more scenarios for safety – such as what to do if the tigers were ever released, and no, Kakashi, you're not going to be here to summon Pakkun as a distraction in such a scenario, so that idea doesn't count, besides, Pakkun wouldn't appreciate being tiger bait – before they were dismissed.

"What time are we supposed to meet with the others?" Tsume asked Hotaru.

"Well, when everyone starts to gather, I imagine we'll know by then."

Tsume stopped by at the food tent to let her fellow cooks know that she would have to leave the circus to grab her costume. They barely looked up from the rice balls they were forming to acknowledge her impending absence. At least they had washed their hands before prepping the rice balls, so her lengthy tirade over how just because they couldn't see the filth on unclean hands didn't mean she couldn't smell it seemed to have made an impact.

With Kakashi riding Kuromaru, Tsume and her ninken rushed all the way back to her compound. Of course the circus would have to be on the other side (the far side) of Konoha from her place. With it being mid-afternoon, not a lot of people were out and about yet, so Tsume was able to make good time in crisscrossing the Hidden Village.

In the attic where she had tucked away most of the things she never used, Tsume pried open a wooden box where a number of traditional Inuzuka clothes were stored away. Kakashi sneezed at the cloud of dust that she disturbed when she pushed the lid off and pawed through the musty fur and leather. She laid everything out and scrutinized every piece, silently asking herself if it appeared authentically raised-in-the-wild. Clothing that was next to falling apart was tossed back into the box because she didn't want to unexpectedly flash her nipples or anything else at the Uchiha… or her brother, she considered, because Shikaku was kinda shy like that.

After selecting the pieces that smelled and looked the best, Tsume stripped down entirely while Kakashi entertained himself by poking through other boxes in the attic. The leather girdle sat loosely around her flat hips, but she tightened the thong ties until she was fairly sure that it was unlikely to fall off. A few cautious jumps and high kicks in front of a cracked, full-length mirror assured her that the girdle was secure and nothing unfortunate flashed too much, but also reminded her that Aunt Natsumi had wanted her to cover her chest.

Breast bands had long been unconventional for Inuzuka women, but there were some wide leather straps used to carry swords and axes that Tsume was able to rig in such a way that they crossed her chest in an X and conveniently hid her barely-there tits, cinching tight so they wouldn't slip. She added a few leather thongs to her hair, pushing the strands away from her forehead, tied some raven feathers to a few couple locks of hair, added some caltrops in deference to tradition, and then covered her shoulders with a fringed poncho.

"Do I look wild enough?" she asked Kuromaru, holding her arms around.

He sniffed disdainfully. "You smell like an elk that died fifty years ago."

Tsume wiggled her toes and considered her bare feet. She rifled through the trunk again and managed to find a pair of hard-bottomed leather sandals that would protect her soles from stepping on broken glass, thistles, thorns, or other uncomfortable objects. As the final part of her costume, Tsume added a scuffed pouch that an ancestor had carefully beaded, and slung it around her neck. Feeling that her outfit as a wild child was complete, Tsume studied herself in the mirror. She stared at herself critically, searching for flaws in the costume.

"You look like you're trying too hard," Kakashi said, trying to be helpful.

There did seem to be an obscene amount of old leather. Tsume pulled off the poncho and let it slump on the floor beside the mirror. Now she was showing more skin than she typically did, and she realized that the crossed leather straps might prove to be inadequate when her breasts finally got that growth spurt she was hoping for…

"Much better," Kakashi declared. Tsume gave another few jumping jacks to make sure things stayed secured - the crossed straps gaped open, flashing pink nipples, when she lifted her arms over her head. Well, that's sure going to embarrass poor Mooncalf and Sakumo.

Ah, well, the straps could easily be secured later with some well-placed nipple pasties and body glue. Tsume rubbed at her cheeks where her clan markings were visible. "I better take these off." Then she dropped her hands away and briefly wondered what she would look like if she had her guardians drawn upon her chest and torso. Yeah, a porcupine wouldn't be impressive, so she really hoped that she got a wolf or a badger summon.

Despite the leather, she still seemed too… tame, for lack of a better word. Tsume stared a few more moments, turning this way and that, critically wondering what was wrong with what she saw. "I need dirt," she said finally, after washing away her clan markings. She led her entourage outside to one of the dog pens, selected the driest dirt mound that was dog poop-free, and then rolled around in it, coating all her visible skin with dirt. Kakashi looked on with jealousy, held in place by Kuromaru's teeth in the back of his shirt.

"How come I don't get to be dirty?"

Tsume dropped a fistful of dirt in her hair and rubbed it around with her eyes squeezed shut. "Because this is part of my disguise, Kakashi. You have to be willing to go all-out for a mission if it requires you to. Some missions are a lot of hard work, and you just gotta do it."

"But getting dirty is fun. That's not hard work."

Tsume really ought to know better than to argue with a four year old as freakishly-intelligent as Kakashi. "Well, some missions are also a lot of fun, but you can't let that make you lose focus on a successful mission." Then she lifted Kakashi to Kuromaru's back. "As much fun as it is to roll around in the dirt, I still have to return and do my mission. Let's go!"

Her departure from the compound was delayed by the arrival of Uchiha Kagami.

oOoOoOo

Tsume knew Kagami was approaching her compound, and had ignored it. It wasn't unusual for the Head of Internal Affairs to pop over and request some assistance from the Inuzuka for something that required a keen sense of smell. He usually didn't have a preference for who provided such; he always seemed content with whoever was readily available.

Kagami smiled brightly when Tsume opened the gate, expecting to leave without interference. He immediately bowed, his expression and scent giving no judgment on her current dress and filth. "Ah, Tsume-sama, just the person I was seeking." He was wearing his ceremonial Head of Internal Affairs outfit – the fancy ones whenever he needed to make his presence known at the Clans Council when they gathered to discuss matters pertaining to active work for shinobi, as a representative to those who didn't have a voice, but wound up being effected nonetheless by decisions made: the orphaned, clanless, and civilian-born ninja. The outfit was midnight black, tailored and cut to his lean figure, high-collared and trim, his waist wrapped in a crimson sash with the loose ends dangling at his knees. The red color was the only concession he made to identify himself as part of the Uchiha clan.

Whether he represented the orphaned and clanless, or pursued reports received by Internal Affairs, Kagami unaffiliated himself with his clan so no one could ever accuse him of favoritism. Although Tsume wasn't sure who would have the audacity to accuse Uchiha Kagami of nepotism to his face or behind his back – even the Hyuuga, almost as famous for fighting the Uchiha as the Senju were, couldn't accuse Kagami of favoring his clan. His clothes were impeccable and immaculate. If it weren't for his fluffy, wild-for-Uchiha hair and the quickened breath (he steadfastly ignored how the quick stride from his place to her compound left him panting for air, so Tsume did too), he would've been the picture of well-groomed perfection.

Next to him, half-naked in her leathers and face bare of her clan markings, covered from head to foot with dust, Tsume felt like a filthy turd.

Tsume's grip on Kakashi's hand tightened. "Is this important? Because I got to be at the circus for my mission. Like, right now. I think." She was pretty sure that she needed to be at the circus at this very moment, as everyone was starting to gather together around Enkan. She cringed at the thought of showing up late.

Kagami clasped his hands together and bowed deeply, his forehead dipping below his waist. That was so not protocol. As Head of Internal Affairs, he technically ranked higher than any clan head, wasn't subject to the Head Jounin's authority, and answered only to the Hokage. He had the power to investigate clans without political repercussion, and could destroy reputations in a heartbeat if the results of his investigation required it. "I am actually here on an important, although personal, mission." He straightened, but kept his hands clasped together. "I need to speak to Tsume-sama about honor and love. Although," his smile was mischievous as he winked, "I am not above abusing the power of my position to justify your delay, in this matter."

Kagami smelled of sincerity and hope, shaded slightly with trepidation and love. There were layers of individual Uchiha scents surrounding him, the most prominent being Hiroaki's scent (also layered with fear, love, pride, and fire). It was hard to believe that this affable man was the second most politically powerful individual in the entire Village.

Tsume released Kakashi's hand. "Take Kuromaru and wait for me at the circus," she told him. "Tell your dad that the Head of Internal Affairs needs to speak privately with me." She wasn't above abusing Kagami's position either, especially when it came to making her look good in front of her examiners. The opportunity for either of them to use Kagami's position for personal means seemed like an unusually rare event for Tsume, so that alone was enough to pique her curiosity. The fact that he was referring her to –sama was enough to make the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Kakashi straightened up, and nodded his head firmly. "Mission accepted," he declared solemnly. He pulled himself up on Kuromaru's back, and with one more solemn nod of his head, dug his heels into Kuromaru's sides.

"Be nice, he's not Juubi!" Tsume yelled at him. Then she waved Kagami inside. "We can do this in my kitchen. Uh, would you like some tea?"

"It's kind of you to offer, Tsume-sama, but not necessary. I don't wish to cause that much of a delay."

Kagami said nothing else as Tsume led him to her house, and into the kitchen. She pulled a chair out to him, more in deference to his age than anything else, and then seated herself. She laid her hands flat on the table and tried to look as dignified as she could, despite the trail of dirt that fell out of her hair onto the kitchen table. She brushed the dirt off. That was, uh, totally supposed to happen.

Kagami bowed his head over clasped hands once again. "I am not here as a representative of the Uchiha clan, or as the Head of Internal Affairs. As I said before, this is actually a personal matter of love and honor. As his older brother, I inherited the legal guardianship of Uchiha Hiroaki, upon the death of our parents, and so I am here on his behalf."

"Oh." Tsume hadn't thought of the involvement of legal guardianship with Hiroaki, or even with Shinchuu. She distantly realized, because of their low function, they had to be wards to someone. "If this is about his relationship with Shinchuu-chan, you should probably speak to her mother, Bashira."

The smile dropped away from his face. Kagami regarded Tsume with uncharacteristic seriousness. "I did, two days ago. Bashira-san is pleased that her daughter is happy, and feels that Hiroaki always had, and always will, treat her kindly. However, guardianship for Shinchuu belongs to the head of the clan. It was originally Shinzou's. When she died, Tsume-sama inherited the guardianship."

Tsume was pretty sure, in the two years that she was the clan head, that no one had ever mentioned this. And it was pretty lousy for her to be hearing it for the first time from an outsider. Huh. In retrospect, maybe her being the legal guardian was why Bashira hadn't openly protested the idea of Shunchuu keeping the baby if it was a boy, rather than because Tsume was alpha queen bitch. Bashira, like other gammas, never did seem all that impressed with Tsume's posturing…

"As you well know, Shinchuu and Hiroaki are..." Kagami paused for a moment, as if unsure of how blunt he should be with Tsume. "Intimately close."

"She's pregnant," Tsume blurted. "Everyone said it was impossible – Grandmother supposedly made sure that Shinchuu could never get pregnant again."

"I am aware."

"Shinchuu wants to keep the baby, regardless of it being a girl or boy. We're not even sure that this pregnancy is going to last. The first three months are the likeliest for miscarriage, especially when fallopian tubes heal from cauterization." She had discussed this with her father; Shikake had explained that cauterization of fallopian tubes wasn't a 100% foolproof birth control that so people many thought it was. He had also immediately referred Shinchuu to Sarutobi Biwako, who specialized in high-risk pregnancies, because pregnancy after a tubal meant an extremely high risk of an ectopic pregnancy.

Kagami nodded his head. "Of this, I am also aware. Years ago, Chumon-sama was not pleased with the first pregnancy, and it was quite obvious that he resented Hiroaki too much to have my brother's best interests at heart. Normally, heads of clan hold guardianship over people, such as my brother and Shinchuu. After your grandmother and my clan head had their very public disagreement, our parents received a formal guardianship from the Hokage. While they were alive, our parents forbade my brother from forming further romantic liaisons with anyone else. Well, actually, it was more my mother's doing; I don't think my father cared at all. But Hiroaki never wanted for anyone else. He pined for two decades. He wrote letters to Shinchuu every day for the first ten years, but my mother burned them."

Tsume felt her heart melt. That was so sad, and yet so romantic, she thought. Two people, forbidden to be together despite being so madly in love, one writing letters every day for years… "Well, Shinchuu can't read anyway," she muttered as she felt her cheeks turn red.

"My father was killed in action ten years ago. My mother died of rheumatic fever five years ago." He was silent for a moment. "After her death, Chumon-sama transferred the guardianship to me, upon my request. I love my brother, Tsume-sama. He is slow with understanding, but just because his speed is less, doesn't mean he won't eventually reach the same understanding as the rest of us, at least not in the matters of the heart. He is not stupid. After he learned that Shinchuu was pregnant again, Hiroaki came to me, and asked for my permission to marry her."

Tsume tried to wrap her mind around Shinchuu getting married. She tried to wrap her mind around any Inuzuka clanswoman getting married. Some choose to take exclusive lovers, but it wasn't the norm. Many even found love – but life was frequently short amongst ninja, and such relationships frequently ended with someone dying, and so new relationships were made.

"I had told him at the time that I didn't feel it was appropriate. After all, a man must support his wife. He's had a stable job for years, assisting with the public street cleaning, and he takes great pride in doing his job well." Kagami closed his eyes and massaged his brow. Far from being annoyed or exasperated, he spoke with loving fondness. "The imp showed me his bank account. Unbeknownst to myself or our parents, he has been saving an impressive amount of money for the last twenty years. I'm not even sure how – legally, he's not even supposed to own a bank account without a guardian being listed as an account holder, but he's as sneaky as any Uchiha. He had planned for the eventuality of Inuzuka Shinzou's death. He told me about how he had planned, for twenty years, to ask the next clan head to marry the love of his life, and that they would live together in their own apartment, away from the grounds of either clan. The timing just never worked out well to his favor after Shinzou's death, what with the war ending, and you being so young. And now that she's told him of the pregnancy, Hiroaki feels that the time has come to let the world know that he is a man, and Shinchuu is his woman."

Tsume was still stuck on trying to wrap her mind around any Inuzuka woman getting married. Her brain hurt. She knew that Sakumo would've gladly married her sister, but he never offered, because Hidarime would've refused, just on the grounds of clan tradition. But it probably wouldn't have stopped her from moving off of the clan compound into Sakumo's house.

"Because I hold guardianship, Hiroaki cannot enter anything legally resembling a marriage without my permission. The same is true of Shinchuu. Hiroaki asked my permission to approach you for Shinchuu's hand. I haven't granted it yet, as I need to know if you would permit such."

Tsume's mouth dropped open. "Me?" No one… no one had ever asked Tsume of anything with such solemn intent, as if she were an equal, or even an adult. She was fourteen years old. Hiroaki and Shinchuu were more than twice her age. Hell – they already had a child who was older than Tsume. It was discomforting. She almost looked over her shoulder to see if Grandmother's spirit wasn't hovering nearby. It didn't help that Tsume was feeling very naked, dressed in some skimpy leather wraps and a girdle and lots of dirt, and Kagami was covered from the pit of his throat to his toes in his pristine, well-tailored suit.

Kagami's expression became almost angry as he focused on her face, cold intent glimmering in his eyes. He hadn't shifted into the Sharingan, but there was a hint of red in his gaze. "My brother wants to make a formal, public request for Shinchuu's hand in marriage. I will not have him publicly embarrassed if you plan to forbid such."

"Because he's an Uchiha?"

"No. Because he is my brother, and he's every bit as deserving of respect and dignity as anyone who is considered normal. Chumon-sama and Shinzou made a public spectacle of his love. My clan belittled him. They accused him of being a shame to our clan, to our honor and reputation. Strangers mocked my brother, calling him a clod of dirt who was incapable of holding an erection, much less impregnating a woman. He has had to live with twenty years of insults.

"My brother has never been trained to be a shinobi – his heart has holes; he hasn't the stamina for it. He is one of the gentlest, kindest souls that I have the honor of knowing. But his Sharingan bloomed, Tsume-sama. The Sharingan is the eye that reflects the heart. It is borne through trial and through terror; it awakens from the absolute need to protect our loved ones. About one in three Uchiha will never awaken the Sharingan, even in battle, even in trial and terror, even to protect our loved ones. My brother, who has never fought, who was never trained in the killing arts, who never intentionally harmed another human being, awakened the gift of our clan when our parents forbade him to ever see his true love, again. Tobirama-sensei would've been proud of my brother's Will of Fire." Kagami bowed deeply again, his forehead touching the table. His voice was slightly muffled. "On behalf of my brother, Uchiha Hiroaki, I formally give permission for him to marry. I humbly request that Tsume-sama, guardian of Shinchuu and head of the Inuzuka clan, also grant the same permission to Shinchuu."

Oh. Wooooow. The ceremonial outfit wasn't just for show. Kagami really was representing the voice of someone who, historically and culturally, had never been allowed to speak up. It made her feel ashamed for being such a lousy Clan Head. Uchiha Kagami was a way better guardian for his brother than she was for Shinchuu.

Tsume wished the floor would open up beneath her. "It's not…" She wished that Danzo or Enkan or Juubi or anyone would crash into her house as a distraction. "I mean…" Was it too much for Juubi to go on a rampage through the town square – it could be the stallion-Juubi, or even the legendary-Juubi, just so long as it provided a decent distraction. She yanked on her hair, hoping the pain would help her think more clearly. It only made her throbbing headache worse. "Inuzuka women don't get married! It hasn't been done as long as we've been a maternal clan!"

Which, if she had her clan history math right, was well over three centuries. Of all the traditions that Tsume had been willing to pitch off to the side and declare null and void, marriage hadn't been one of them. She was fairly sure she didn't like the idea of other clans thinking that they could just expect that an Inuzuka woman would leave her clan to join another. Tsume had noticed from the time she was very young and could smell the difference, in too many civilian and too many ninja clans, that the wives were frequently considered little more than chattel to men. Inuzuka women were Pack, they were Family. Even their ninken, long considered partners, weren't property. On the other hand, ten years of daily letter writing… "Besides," Tsume added weakly, "how likely is it that Chumon is going to allow this? He's got even bigger stick up his ass than Fugaku."

From the way Kagami raised an eyebrow at her, Tsume realized she probably shouldn't have said that so bluntly. With a hint of sly mirth, he said, "Time heals many wounds, even wounded pride. Aside from that, Chumon-sama adores my lovely Mikoto-chan – probably more than his own sons. She is so excited about planning a wedding for her beloved uncle that she has roped Chumon-sama into paying for the entire thing."

Gosh – how much did weddings cost? "The, uh, entire thing?"

"Oh yes. Including a fully-funded honeymoon to the Hidden Village of Hot Springs. My darling Mikoto-chan has convinced Chumon-sama that this is all a good practice for her own wedding, whenever she decides she's ready to settle down with Fugaku-kun."

Tsume was impressed. She and her team had done an escort mission to and from the Hidden Village of Hot Springs six months ago. It wasn't much of a Hidden Village anymore – their academy only graduated about five to eight genin a year – but it sure was a really swanky destination for lovers. They left the place in a haze of hormones and a collection of inappropriate toys to try out. Kokoro and Kushina had gained a far greater depth of education, and appreciation for Tsume willing to take a one (okay, six or seven) for the team, and Sakumo had failed miserably at convincing the team that orgies were forbidden from all missions henceforth, no matter how dire the situation, until he was at least seventy years old, and oh spirit of the Sage of Six Paths preserve him, Kokoro-chan's brothers were going to kill him before he even had time to update his final will and testament.

She thought about Shinchuu, with her tear-stained face and trembling hands. She thought of how full of happiness Shinchuu was, especially after her picnics with Hiroaki. Tsume also, very briefly, thought of Hiderime and Sakumo and what could've been possible, in another world where clan laws and culture might've been different. "I will…" She paused, trying to roll the words around in her aching brain before speaking, so she could be sufficiently mature about this, and also so she wouldn't have to find someone like Danzo to pin Oyubi down when she found out what Tsume had decided. "I will give Shinchuu the permission to choose to marry. She is Inuzuka. She may not want to marry. However, if she wants to leave the clan compound, make her own home and territory with Uchiha Hiroaki and pledge monogamy forever more to him without an actual wedding, that is also her choice, which I give permission for. And your brother doesn't need to ask my permission. This is between him and Shinchuu. Like, I'm fourteen years old. I can't be that much more mature than them." Two adults nearly in their forties didn't need a teenager like Tsume telling them whether or not they were mature enough to love each other. That just seemed kind of stupid, when they had been loyal to each other longer than Tsume had even been alive.

Gosh, a letter every day for ten years. That was a lot of writing. That was commitment, right there.

The sunshine-smile that lit up Kagami's face was breathless in its joy. "I thank you for giving my brother permission to fulfill his dream." He bowed deeply, but Tsume suspected that this time, it was more for hiding the tears in his eyes. "I'm not surprised that my mother or Uncle Obito didn't became the head of our clan after Uchiha Madara defected from Konoha. The remaining clan elders voted to have a different branch of the family take over the Head. I'm sure that if my mother or Uncle Obito had become Clan Head, Oyubi-san would've been assassinated as a young baby." He straightened up. "I feel it's only fair to warn you that if this is a successful pregnancy, Chumon-sama is unlikely to ignore this child. Oyubi-san, even without ever awakening her Sharingan, has proven that Hiroaki's offspring is very likely to become a … fine … warrior…" His voice trailed off as his eyes narrowed and scent flared with suspicion. Tsume tried to look anywhere that wasn't his face, but it was too late. "She did?!"

Tsume coughed. Sometimes, her face had a big, fat mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"How long has Oyubi-san had the Sharingan?"

Tsume clapped her hands over her ears. "I can't hear you! Lalalalalala!"

Kagami pried Tsume's hands away from her ears. "Does she even know how to use it, or is she ignoring it?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Tsume flailed her arms. "I'm not even supposed to know! It's just that…" Well, of all the (official) Uchiha, Kagami was the one who knew just how sensitive her nose was, and the most likeliest to understand her explanation. "Look, there's a difference in the Uchiha scent before, and after, the Sharingan awakens. The scent shifts, like it's stepping off to the side and casting a larger shadow, if that makes any sense. And Oyubi's scent changed, in the Second War. She never told me. I don't think she's told anyone." Except maybe her ANBU Captain, and Danzo was as tight-lipped as Oyubi, and if there was one thing that Tsume had realized with the circus, not all secrets had an odor.

Kagami released her wrists, and rubbed his forehead. He closed his eyes in thought for a moment. "My clan has always chosen to be hands-off with Oyubi-san. That was the choice Chumon-sama had made when he officially refused to acknowledge the possibility that she has Uchiha blood. As her uncle by blood and Head of Internal Affairs, I cannot simply ignore what I now know. However, I can assure you that this will remain with me, only. If she has awakened the Sharingan, I am obliged to provide her some important education."

"Like what?"

He studied her for a long breath. "Well, since you are her clan head and seeing as how she's your Second, I suppose that I should also warn you about the Curse of Hatred."