Disclaimer: Bleach is Kubo Tite's work. Borrowing.

The Velveteen Lion

October 4 / Why do you sleep with girls? AU parody

21:52 100405

When Orihime was a little girl, her brother gifted her with a stuffed toy, a velveteen lion. It was an adorable thing with tight stuffing made of the softest down and mane made of bits of silken yarn. She named him Kon.

After her brother's death, Kon became her constant companion, a sort of security blanket. They went to bed together, sat together, studied together... Sometimes, she even brought him along when she took a bath, sitting him at the sink while she lazed around in the bath tub. Yes, Kon had seen her grow from a little girl to a big-bo—um, to a big girl.

Now, growing, that was exactly Kon's problem. When humans grow, they're automatically repaired and renewed. Not Kon. Even though Orihime was a stellar sewer, she couldn't save the poor stuffed lion from earning some signs of aging. Kon didn't mind a few wrinkles, as long as he was with his beloved Orihime.

Orihime was a sweet, helpful girl. She often went to the town clinic to help Kurosaki-sensei with his patients. Kon came along sometimes. Yuzu, one of the doctor's daughter, was sure to entertain him while Orihime helped Karin. Kon didn't like Ichigo, however. The orange-haired boy looked at Kon suspiciously too often. Once he grabbed Kon from Yuzu's grasp, scolding his sister from bringing a toy to the restroom with her.

One day, a little girl came. She was very sick. Orihime was so sorry for the lonely little girl, and she gave Kon to her for comfort, leaving him at the clinic overnight..

Actually, the girl wasn't so little and Kon had a very, very good night then.

It was revealed, however, that the girl had a very serious disease. Because of this, Kon would have to be disposed, Ichigo had seriously said.

Orihime was heartbroken, but of course she believed that bastard Ichigo. Kon was soon in a black garbage bag, along with other totally disgusting gunk, ready to be cremated.

And then... something miraculous happened.

The good fairy Unohona came, dressed in her shimmery fairy dress spun from light and kindness. She was gorgeous and kind and magical as she cradled Kon from bowels of the trash bag. Kon wondered whether she'd be wearing a D or a DD cup, were she wearing a brassiere. He decided he didn't really care, since she was hugging him so tenderly, giving him much needed comfort.

"I was waiting for you, neechan," he wept.

"Oh, dear, dear, Kon," she said. "I am sorry that this has come to past."

"I'm not. Well, not totally. I wouldn't get see you otherwise."

"Such a flatterer." And yet the fairy simpered. "Orihime shall sorely miss you."

"And I will miss her!"

"There, there." Unohona patted him. "Oops, you're bleeding, dear."

"Ahahaha... That's from the trash can. There were some bloody bandages."

"Oh, I see. Well, dear, I think I shall do now what I came here for. I will give you a gift as a reward for your love and devotion to Orhime. I shall turn you into a real lion."

"NOOOO!"

Unohona was taken aback by the doll's violent reaction. "Why, Kon. I thought you wished for this."

"Well, I used to, but— No. Totally out of the question."

Unohona paused. "I can turn you into a real boy, if that's what you want."

Kon pondered over this long and hard. Then he shook his head. "Nah," he said. "I want you to do something else for me."

"What would that be, dearest?"

"I want you to disinfect me. I want Orihime-nee to take me back."

"But Kon, dear," she said gently. "Even if Orihime takes you back, at some point, she will grow up."

"I know. Isn't it great?"

"But she might give you up, donate you, or give you to another little girl."

"Ah, but that's what I'm hear for, oh motherly fairy. I am here to give comfort to little girls as they sleep."

Unohona nodded gravely. "Very well." And she disappeared.

Meanwhile, Orihime was walking back home, still crying. Because her eyes were too teary to see, she tripped and landed on her chest. It hurt considerably so she cried some more.

Then she noticed the thing she tripped on. It was a bottle. Bleach.

So that's how Kon ended up back in Orihime's room, shaved of his mane. He was now a polar bear.

A very happy polar bear.

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