Disclaimer: All characters and things from ANGEL and BUFFY belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. If they aren't on the show they belong to me.
Summary: A different turn of events after Season 1 Episode 12 "Expecting" A/C pairing
CHAPTER 77Shortly after Angel had informed the rest of the fang gang of the plan they were going to follow in order to fight Wolfram and Hart and try and save L.A., Cordelia found herself in the kitchen cooking up everything they had left in the hotel. She wanted her family to have one good meal together before Angel, Jessica, Connor, Gunn, Wesley, and Spike went into battle, before Lorne fought in his own way, and before she and Fred left Los Angeles with Erin.
Cordelia hummed to herself, trying to calm her nerves, as she finished cooking up the last of the hamburgers. She was so focused on her cooking that she did not hear Jessica enter into the kitchen.
"Mom?" Jess called out, causing Cordelia to jump up two feet from her spot at the stove.
"Jess?" Cordelia relaxed once she realized it was her oldest daughter. "I thought you were resting."
Jess shook her head. "I don't think I'm going to be tired anytime soon."
Cordelia nodded, understanding her daughter. The news of the unavoidable battle that was headed for Angel Investigations, and the fact that her family would be split up the following day was clearly starting to get to Jessica, and Cordelia couldn't blame her oldest daughter for that. In fact, Cordelia was feeling the same, if not worse, then Jess was about their inescapable destinies.
"Mom?" Jess looked up at Cordelia.
"What it is?" Cordelia asked, sensing something was bothering Jessica.
"I'm scared." Jess looked away as she said the words. She was ashamed of them. In her entire life, no matter what obstacles had been thrown at her, whether it was Wolfram and Hart, or Holtz, or Quortoth, Jess had never been scared, but as the reality of the upcoming battle and the fact that she might not live became more apparent with each passing minute, Jessica could feel herself becoming terrified.
"Jess…" Cordelia didn't know what to say, so instead, she pulled her oldest daughter close to her, cradling Jessica in her arms as if she was still a baby. She kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Everything is going to be okay."
Jessica looked up at her mother. "You don't know that."
"You just have to have faith." Cordelia told her child. "You'll make it through this fight, I know you will."
"It's not that." Jess pulled herself away from Cordelia, rubbing her eyes to avoid any tears that might escape them. "I'm not afraid to die."
"Jess…" Cordelia started.
"I'm not, Mom." Jess repeated herself. "Death has never scared me. Sometimes I wonder if that's the only break I'll ever get. You know, when I die."
"What do you mean?" Cordelia searched her daughter's eyes; eyes that were as dark as the sunless sky over L.A.
"You know, a break from everything; from all of this. My whole life I've been pushed to fight, to protect others. Sometimes I feel like I never get a chance to catch my breath, you know?" Jess looked up at her mother.
Cordelia nodded, realizing her daughter was right. Jess never did get a break; she was always fighting someone or something. She had already lived a life far more strenuous then most people who were much older then Jessica. For the first time since Jessica was born, Cordelia felt sorry that she had brought a child into such a lifestyle as the one that Jessica was forced to live. It was no place for a child; no place for Jess, no place for Connor, and no place for Erin. For the first time, Cordelia felt like she had failed her children.
"I mean, don't get me wrong. I love the fighting and all." Jess gave her mother the devilish grin she had been born with, and it renewed Cordelia's hope in that maybe she had been a good parent. "And I know I'm doing the right thing by fighting. I know its what I am meant to do. You and Dad taught me that."
"I don't understand then, sweetie." Cordelia reached out, putting a piece of hair that had fallen out of Jessica's ponytail behind her daughter's ear. "What are you scared about then?"
Jess looked down, shuffling her feet and taking a deep breath before she looked back up at her mother. "I'm scared to lose you."
"What?" Cordelia studied her daughter's face. "Lose me?"
"And Erin." Jess added. "I'm scared that if I don't make it out of this battle then I'll lose you and Erin forever. This family just got put back together. I don't want it to break apart again."
"Oh, Jess…" Cordelia pulled Jessica in for another hug. "Jess, we're all going to make it through this, and we will be a family again. I know it." But Cordelia didn't know it, she hoped it, but she didn't know it. She just wanted to give her daughter some comfort, and by doing that, she also gave herself some comfort.
"You promise?" Jess looked up at her mother.
Cordelia nodded. "I promise."
"Good." Jess pulled away from Cordelia, straightening out her black tank top. "And do me a favor, don't tell dad I'm scared or worried. He has enough to deal with now. He doesn't need to be worried about me too. Plus, it kind of makes me sound like a wimp, and we can't have that." Jess seemed to grin a little at Cordelia.
"I won't tell him." Cordelia smiled back at her daughter.
"Good." Jessica gained her cool, seemingly childish, composure back. "How's the food coming?"
"Should be ready any minute." Cordelia said.
"Alright, well the table is almost set and everyone is ready to eat whenever you are." Jess said as she made her way to the door.
"Five minutes and everything will be done." Cordelia said.
"Alright. I'll let everyone know." Jess grinned at her mother again before making her way back into the lobby.
Once Jessica was out the door, Cordelia sighed, wiping away the tears that had been threatening her eyes since Jessica had first entered the kitchen. She was worried about her family, and more then anything, Cordelia wanted to keep them all together, and all safe, she just didn't know if she could, and that was the part that she hated; that was the part that made her feel helpless.
Angel looked over all the weapons Gunn and Connor had put in the weapons cabinet as he bounced Erin in his arms. Erin was gripping tightly to the collar of Angel's black long sleeve shirt, as if the child knew there was a chance she would not see her father again after tomorrow.
"So, what do you think, Erin?" Angel held his daughter up so she could see the arsenal he was looking over. "Daddy's got a lot of pointy things to swing at those big, bad guys tomorrow."
Erin smiled, turning her face back into Angel's chest, and giggling.
Angel looked down at Erin, a smile creeping across his face as he kissed her gently on the head. His smile faded, however, as he thought about when and why he would be using the weapons in front of him. He would use them the following day, and he would use them against an army that he wasn't sure could be defeated. He looked down at Erin again; he wanted to see his youngest child grow. He wanted to see what kind of powers Erin had, and whether she would have his broody attitude like Connor had inherited, or if she would have that wonderful streak of sarcasms and honestly that Cordelia had, or if she would have both Angel's and Cordelia's ways, like Jess seemed to possess. Angel wanted to see his youngest daughter grow into the wonderful person he knew she would become. He just didn't know if he would get the chance.
Angel sighed, looking over at Connor who was finishing setting the table for the family's last good meal together, at least for a while.
Connor seemed to sense his father's gaze on him, because he looked up, giving Angel a small smile. "I think we are almost ready to eat."
Angel nodded, switching Erin in his arms. "You need help?"
Connor shook his head, placing the last of the plates down. "I got it."
Angel made his way over to the table Connor was standing by anyway, as if to inspect his son's job. After a moment of silence, Angel looked over at Connor. "I know you said you would stick around and fight, but I want you to know it's okay if you don't. Don't stay because everyone else is."
"Why wouldn't I help you?" Connor asked, confused.
"You had a chance at a normal life." Angel said. "I know, you remember this one now, and you know the other one was all lies, but sometimes lies, small lies, are the only thing that can pull you through."
"What are you saying?" Connor raised an eyebrow.
"I'm saying you can leave. You have a history of good grades and school behind you. It doesn't matter that its not real, it can get you someplace out in the real world. You can go back to that normal life." Angel tried to explain himself.
"And just pretend that you and mom and Jess and Erin don't exist?" Connor was appalled by the idea.
"Mom and Erin will still be around for you, if you needed them." Angel said.
"So will you and Jess." Connor seemed to correct his father. "Because you'll make it back to Mom and Erin, and I'll be standing right next to you when you do."
"Connor…" Angel started. He didn't want to see his son get hurt.
"Dad, I know who I am now. I know what I have to do. And I have to stay and help you fight and win this battle. That's what family is all about." Connor then turned back to the table he was setting, clearly indicating that his conversation with his father was over.
Angel nodded to himself as he felt Erin's small fingers wrap around his wedding band. He knew, in that moment that Connor had been raised right. Whether it had been by him and Cordelia, or his fake family, or even Holtz, someone along the way had taught Connor the right thing to do, and that was to take care of the people who mattered most to you, and to Angel that had always been his family. Clearly, it was the same way for his son.
Lindsey and Eve sat curled up next to one another on the couch. Eve had just gotten the call from the Senior Partners, and the plan to destroy Angel Investigations would be in full swing by the following day. Wolfram and Harts' army was getting ready to make their first appearance.
Lindsey kissed Eve on the head.
"You're happy." Eve smiled up at Lindsey.
"Twenty-four hours and Angel Investigations will no longer exist. How could I not be happy?" Lindsey smirked.
Eve nodded, her own smile seeming to fade from her face.
"What's wrong?" Lindsey asked, seeing Eve's facial expression change.
"It's not that I don't want Angel Inc. destroyed. I do. They are a liability to this company, its just, I don't get why you want to torture them so much."
"Torture?" Lindsey raised an eyebrow. "Angel cut my hand off, ran me threw with a sword, stole Darla from me-"
"Darla…" Eve snorted.
"It's just the point." Lindsey said quickly, not wanting Eve to become upset. It wasn't like he still had feelings for Darla, anyway. How could you love someone who only used you to get what they wanted? And that's exactly what Darla had done.
"Then what is the point?" Eve asked.
"Angel has taken so much from me." Lindsey said. "Little things, big things…"
"And you haven't taken from him? You almost killed his children and wife, multiple times." Eve reminded him. "I mean, I understand why the Senior Partners want them gone. They are the enemy of this company, but you are making it so personal."
"It is personal." Lindsey said quickly.
"Don't you think Angel feels the same way?"
"He should."
"It's like you're obsessed with making his life miserable." Eve sat up straight. "I want Angel Investigations gone as much as anyone else in this company, but why can't we just do away with them and then just be done? Why do we have to drag this out? I'm afraid if this keeps up, I'll lose you. You're getting to deep into this."
Lindsey relaxed once he realized Eve was only worried about him. He kissed her gently on the head. "I'm fine. I promise, and once Angel Investigations is gone, it will just be you and me. Nothing else will come between us like this is, I promise."
Eve nodded after a moment, snuggling up close to Lindsey, and deciding she would hold him to his promises. She just wanted to make sure he would be okay after the apocalypse was over.
Spike sat alone in the room that had been set up for him by Cordelia and Jess. It was two doors down from Jessica's own bedroom. He looked over the room. It was simple. A bed, a standing lamp in the corner, and a single dresser that held all of his tee shirts, was all the room had, and it was all Spike had needed, or at least all he thought he had needed.
He had died before; twice actually. Once by the hands of Drusilla which had turned him into the vampire he had become, and another time for Buffy, to help the slayer save the world. He hadn't been scared either time he died. The first time, he didn't even know he was going to die, and the second time, he had given his life willingly, and this simple fact left Spike even more confused now, because now he was afraid to die. Not of death itself, but of losing all he had.
Not that Spike had a lot. But he had enough. He had Buffy. He was sure she would take him back if he went to her. He was hoping she wasn't waiting for him though, because he wanted her to go on and live the life she deserved. He had his new mission. Whatever that was. He had been brought back for a reason, he was sure of it, and he was keeping his fingers crossed that the reason wasn't to die in the apocalypse they would face in the upcoming days. And Spike had Jessica. For now, anyway. They were both immortal so if they lived through the impending battle they could spend eternity together, but Spike knew Jessica wasn't the type to into something long-term, just like he wasn't the type to admit he wished she would. He loved her, he was sure of it. He loved her as much as he loved Buffy. Completely. His heart ached for both of them, and knowing they were both alive was enough for him, even if he would never have either of them.
Spike sighed. He was so deep in thought that he hadn't heard the door to his room open, or Lorne walk in.
"Spike?" Lorne called out.
Spike turned quickly, looking toward the door the green demon was standing in. "What?"
"I think the food might be ready soon. It smells like the cooking is almost done, anyway." Lorne said as he made his way into the room.
"Not like I need to eat." Spike said, looking back out the window to the sunless sky. He missed the sun, even if he could never walk out in it. He missed it because he missed the way it would bronze Jessica's skin, and give her that extra glow she seemed to acquire after each trip she took out into the light of day.
"Still, I'm sure everyone would want you down there." Lorne told the vampire.
"I doubt it." Spike said smugly. "Not like anyone in this hotel really likes me much. Not that I care, because I don't."
"Well, true, you can be a little of an annoyance, but no one hates you." Lorne said. "In fact, I know someone who cares a lot about you."
"Yeah…" Spike looked down at his hands. "I bet."
"She does." Lorne said. "Believe me, she does."
"Who?" Spike acted as if he didn't know who Lorne was talking about.
"Like you don't know Angel's offspring's got a thing for you." Lorne rolled his eyes.
"Jess?"
"Of coarse, Jess."
"She isn't interested."
"She just doesn't show it." Lorne told him. "She doesn't want to get hurt. She's been hurt before. Her heart is a very hard place to get into, but when she opens it, you better believe she cares."
"How do you know I'm even in her heart?" Spike asked.
"A vibe." Lorne said, simply.
"Doesn't mean anything." Spike shook his head.
"It does right now." Lorne told him. "Because you mean something to Jess. You might not in a few years, Jess is still young, she's got a lot of life to live yet."
"Which she might not get the chance to do if she fights in this apocalypse." Spike said, almost bitterly.
"That might be true, but that's her choice." Lorne said. "Just like it's your choice to take the information I'm giving you and use it, or to pretend that there isn't some serious sexual tension between you and Jess."
"Is this really important right now?" Spike asked the demon. "We are fighting an apocalypse."
"Maybe that makes it all the more important." Lorne told the vampire. "Now come downstairs, the food is probably ready."
After a moment, Spike nodded. He decided that maybe Lorne was telling him that Jessica cared about him for a reason. Maybe he shouldn't waste the remaining time he had left with Jessica. Maybe he should tell her how he felt, he thought, as he followed Lorne down the hallway.
Gunn, Wesley, and Fred sat in the office. Wesley at the desk, with Fred perched on his lap, and Gunn sitting across from the couple, in a chair that clients used to sit in, with his feet up on the desk between himself, Fred, and Wesley.
"So this is it." Gunn said as calmly as he could. "We go out there tomorrow and swing our swords around, and we don't know if we're gonna come back."
"You'll come back." Fred said, wrapping her arm around Wesley's neck. "And you'll find me and Cordelia and Erin, and everything will go back to normal."
"You really think so?" Gunn asked. "I mean, Angel's talking like he ain't even gonna make it out of this, and he's a vampire, me and Wes are just humans."
"You're not thinking of backing out, are you Gunn?" Wesley asked.
"Me?" Gunn pointed to himself. "Hell no. I'm just saying…"
"We will do what we have to." Wesley said. He looked at Fred, hoping that what she said was true, and that they would all be back together in a few days. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving her all alone. Not now. Not when he had finally gotten her. He loved her, unconditionally, and he wanted her to be safe, but he also wanted to be with her. He wanted to be the one to keep her safe, and if he didn't make it through the fight against Wolfram and Hart he was afraid that eventually someone else would be there to keep her safe.
"You worried about it?" Gunn asked nonchalantly, as he looked at his hands.
"Out of my mind." Wesley said honestly as he took Fred's hand in his.
Gunn looked up, studying Wesley's face. "Really?"
Wesley nodded, noticing for the first time ever that Gunn, too, seemed frightened. "Yeah."
After a beat, Gunn swallowed hard. "Me too."
Fred felt her heart break for the two men in the room with her. She loved them both, Gunn as one of her best friends, and Wesley as the man she wanted to spend her life with. She hated seeing the fear and worry written all across their faces. "You guys will be fine." Her grip on Wesley's hand tightened. "I know it."
Wesley looked at Fred, nodding at her, and trying to reassure both himself and her that what she said was true. "We will."
Before the conversation could continue, Jess busted through the door of the office.
"Hey guys." Jess gave them a sly smile that seemed to put everyone in the room at ease. Jessica's grin had always been able to do that. It had always been able to make people feel calm.
"Hey girl." Gunn smiled back at the teenager, trying to mask his own fear. "What's up?"
"Mom's calling everyone. Food is ready." Jess said. "Come on, before it gets cold."
Jess then turned out the door of the office and, after a moment, Fred, Wesley, and Gunn followed her out, all three of them pushing away any thoughts of what the following day would bring.
And so the entire fang gang sat around the table, Angel at the head of the table with Cordelia and Jess on each side of him. Next to Cordelia sat Erin in her highchair, and next to Erin, Connor, followed by Lorne, who had Fred next to him. Next to Jessica sat Spike, who had Gunn on his other side, and Wesley sat opposite Angel.
The group ate, and talked, as if it was something they did every day of the week, and like it was just a meal for them. No one brought up the apocolypse or where Cordelia, Fred, and Erin would go once they left L.A. No one brought up the fact that there was a good chance that the ones who were staying in Los Angeles would never see Cordelia, Fred, or Erin again. None of them had the heart to talk about anything dreadful that could happen. They all just wanted to enjoy each other's company, at least for one more meal.
After dinner, everyone helped Cordelia clean up, putting away all the dishes as if they would have to take them out the next night for another meal. But they all knew better. They would not eat together the following night.
"Alright." Angel said as he scooped Erin up from her high chair after everyone was done cleaning. "Why don't we all head up to bed? We all seem tired."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"See you all in the morning." Wesley said as he led Fred up the stairs.
"Yeah." Gunn agreed as he also headed up to his room.
"Good night." Lorne added, making his way to his room as well.
"Right then." Spike looked at Jessica. He hadn't told her how he had felt, but it didn't matter. He clearly had missed his chance. "Good night." He then made his way up the stairs too.
Angel looked around the lobby, realizing his family were the only ones left. "You guys aren't tired?" He asked his wife and kids.
Jess shook her head, throwing herself on the couch with a grin. "Nah. I'm part vampire. We love the dark."
Angel smiled slightly at his oldest daughter, as he felt Cordelia take Erin out of his arms. He then turned to Jess, jumping on the couch next to her and almost sitting on her.
Jess used her vampire speed to move out of her father's way however, but failed to get out of her brother's as Connor took the opportunity to follow his father's playful ways and jumped on the couch as well, landing square on Jessica.
"Damn!" Jess giggled. "Connor, you weigh a ton!"
"Do not!" Connor smiled at his sister.
Cordelia laughed, taking a seat on the couch opposite Jess, Angel, and Connor. She smiled down at Erin who seemed to be giggling as she watched her older brother and sister and father joke around.
"Look how goofy this family of ours is, Erin." Cordelia said to her youngest daughter. "I don't know what we are going to do with them."
"You love us." Angel smiled at Cordelia. He did not want to think about the upcoming battle, or Wolfram and Hart, or Cordelia leaving with Erin the following day. He just wanted to spend some time with his family.
"Of course I do." Cordelia smiled back at her husband and two oldest children as she bounced Erin on her lap.
"You know what I loved?" Jess asked, as she stretched out across her brother and father, rubbing her belly. "That meal you cooked, mom. It was amazing." She grinned at her mother, trying to get her thoughts away from the looming apocalypse.
"I just cooked what was left in the fridge." Cordelia nodded her head toward the kitchen door.
"Well, it was good." Jess smiled again.
"Yeah, mom." Connor agreed.
"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." Cordelia winked at her oldest children, and she meant what she said. She was happy she could make their last night together as a family, at least for a little while, a memorable one.
"So…" Jess said casually. "Where are we meeting Mom and Erin and Fred after the battle?" She looked up at her father.
Angel cringed under his daughter's stare as though she was trying him for some horrible crime, although he knew his daughter's gaze was not an accusing one. She just needed some reassurance from her father, some hope, even if it was false. "We never talked about it…" Angel said as he looked up at Cordelia.
Cordelia did not meet Angel's gaze, she wasn't sure she could without crying, so instead she looked down at Erin who was swatting at Cordelia's necklace.
"Well, I guess we could just call when we are done here, see where you are, right mom?" Jess looked over at Cordelia.
Cordelia's head immediately shot up as she registered her daughter's words. She nodded slowly, trying to give Jessica the reassuring smile she knew her daughter needed to see. "Yeah, you guys can call."
Jess grinned back at Cordelia, knowing her mother's words were a lie, but the lie gave the immortal teenager comfort, and that's all she had really wanted. "Sounds good."
Connor yawned, pushing Jessica off the couch with his feet. He was tired but he didn't want to go to sleep because he knew it meant the night would be over, and that the following day might be his last.
"Don't kick me." Jess stuck her tongue out, playfully, and swatted at Connor's feet, but got off the couch, making her way over to the couch Cordelia was sitting on with Erin, curling up next to her mother and baby sister.
Cordelia wrapped the arm she wasn't holding Erin in around Jessica, pulling her oldest daughter close to her. "You look tired, Jess."
Jess shook her head, fighting to keep her eyes open. "I'm not." She lied, not wanting to give into the sleep. She wasn't ready to face the following day, or her mother leaving with her baby sister, or her own possible death that the morning would bring.
"You are." Cordelia ran her hand through Jessica's long, dark curly hair. It reminded Cordelia of her hair when she was younger.
"So is he." Angel nodded toward Connor who was sitting next to him with his head back, and eyes closed.
"Okay, bedtime for everyone." Cordelia nudged Jessica.
"I'm not sleepy." Jess whined as if she was four years old.
"You need your rest." Cordelia stood, shifting Erin in her arms. The baby grabbed at her mother and Cordelia smiled down at her, cooing softly. "All of you need some sleep."
Erin seemed to understand her mother's words, as her lip formed a small frown.
"Come on, let's get everyone upstairs." Angel stood, elbowing Connor until the boy got up.
"But…if we sleep…I mean…" Jess started. She wanted to tell her parents she was scared that if she slept she would lose any time she could have with her family. They should stay together tonight, incase it was their last one with each other.
Angel and Cordelia both seemed to know what her daughter was trying to say. They looked at each other, and Cordelia gave Angel a sad smile.
Cordelia then turned back to her first born, wanting to give her daughter hope. "Go to bed now, we will have plenty of time to hang out after this apocalypse."
Jess nodded after a moment, knowing her mother's words were full of false hope, only said to give comfort where it was needed. After a beat, Jessica made her way over to Angel, hugging him and then over to Cordelia, squeezing her mother and younger sister tightly in her arms, not wanting to let go.
But Jess did let go, eventually, and smiled at her mother. Cordelia could see the fear and worry in her oldest daughter, and, because of maternal instincts she guessed, gave Jessica a kiss on the cheek goodnight, as if the teenager was still a child. Jess grinned again at her mother, and then made her way up the stairs.
Connor nodded to his father, and then gave his mother a quick kiss goodnight before also making his way up the stairs.
Once Jessica and Connor were upstairs, Cordelia turned to Angel. "We should get Erin to bed, and then get some rest ourselves. We both will need it for tomorrow."
Angel nodded, wrapping his arm around Cordelia and leading her, with Erin in her arms, up the stairs of the Hyperion Hotel, praying he would get the chance to do take her up the stairs many nights after that. Praying he would get the chance to be with her after the apocalypse. Praying he would make it through.
Gunn had slipped down to the basement shortly after he had gone up to bed. He had gone down the back staircase, and no one had seen him. It wasn't that he wasn't tired, he was, he just couldn't sleep, and so he found himself standing in the sewers that were connected to the Hyperion's basement. He figured the sewers were safer to move in, since all the creatures that usually dwelled in them were out wreaking havoc on the sunless streets of Los Angeles.
Gunn knew where he was going, and he knew why, he just wasn't sure if he was ready to do it, but he felt he owed that much, in case he didn't make it through the upcoming battle.
Silently, he submerged from the sewers into the basement of his old apartment, the hole in the wall he had called home before Angel had come into his life, and before he had lost his sister. He climbed the stairs to his old apartment door, and slowly turned the knob. As he suspected, no one had moved in since he had moved out, and the small three-room apartment looked exactly how Gunn had left it, a mess.
He made his way into the middle of the place he used to consider to be his only sanctuary from the cold, harsh streets of L.A. Now the apartment held only memories for Gunn. Memories of the harsh life he had lived before Angel had found him. Memories of her.
Gunn knelt, picking up a small pile of dust and running it through his fingers. To anyone else who had ever stepped foot in the room, the dust would have been nothing more then a sign that the apartment needed cleaning, but Gunn knew better. He knew that dust.
"Alonna…" Gunn whispered into the empty room as the dust, the ashes of his sister, fell from his hand. "I'm sorry…" He stood, looking down at the pile of dust that now was at his feet. He had put it there when he had staked his sister years earlier.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Alonna. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you that night when you had gotten bitten. I should have been there, but I wasn't. I failed you." Gunn said bitterly, as if his sister could hear him. "But I know you are looking down on me, and I know you've got to be proud of me, proud of who I've turned into. I made it out of here, and I've helped so many people. I lost you, but I gained a family…" Gunn seemed to shake his head, a small smile creeping onto his lips. "You'd love them. You and Cordelia would get along so well, and Angel, he's a good guy. I know you'd like him, and their kids, Connor and Jess, they're good kids, they don't always make the best decisions, but they follow their hearts. And the baby, Erin, she's so cute, and so good. You wouldn't even know there is a baby in the hotel half the time."
Gunn sighed, making his way over to the one window in the whole apartment, looking out it to see the destruction of L.A. that was below him, as he continued to speak of his family. "I'm sure you know all about Fred. I loved her so much. She was the first person I really let in after your death. I still love her. I always will. She's a part of me, but we grew apart. It just wasn't meant to be, I guess, but Wesley takes good care of her. I know it. And Wes is a good guy. Always has been. He's probably my best friend, and its weird, you know? We aren't alike at all. And then there is Lorne. He's a demon, I'm sure you knew that. I bet you find it funny too, that I would befriend a demon, but hell, Angel's a vampire so I guess I really have changed. Then there's Spike, and he reminds me of why I usually don't like vampires. Don't get me wrong, he's an okay guy half the time, but the other half…I don't know. All I know is that you'd have loved them, and they would have loved you."
Gunn turned back into the room, kneeling back down at the dust of his sister. "Alonna, I wish you were still here. I need someone to talk to, because the truth is, I'm scared. No, terrified is probably a better word. I don't know if I'm gonna make it through this battle tomorrow. I don't know if I have the fight in me anymore. But I know you're watching over me, and I know you'll protect me tomorrow." He stood. "Like I didn't protect you…" He made his way to the door.
"I love you, Alonna." Gunn called to the silent apartment before closing the door one last time, as if he was closing a door to his past. He then quickly made his way down the stairs and back to the sewers, wanting to get back to the hotel to sleep for a few hours.
Cordelia, with Erin in her arms, and Angel trailing behind her, made her way into Erin's room. The once very cluttered and bright room was now dark and empty. All that stood in the room was a crib, a lamp, and the rocking chair Cordelia had used to rock Jessica, Connor, and now Erin in. Everything else that belonged to Erin had been packed up, and was sitting in the back of Angel's car, ready for Cordelia, Fred, and Erin to leave with the following morning.
"This place looks so empty…" Cordelia said, almost sadly, as she placed Erin down in her crib.
Erin grabbed at her mother, as if she did not want to be let go off. Cordelia saw the baby's distress, and ran a hand over Erin's head, cooing softly at the child. "Everything's okay, Erin. Mommy's right here, just get some sleep."
Angel moved, wrapping his arm around Cordelia's waist and peering over her shoulder at his youngest daughter in her crib. "Yeah, sweetie. You need some sleep, you've got a big trip ahead of you tomorrow." Angel smiled at the infant, but couldn't help the way his eyes told Cordelia just how miserable he was. It was clear that Angel did not want to have to let part of his family go the following morning, but it was for their own safety. He had to remind himself of that; Cordelia and Erin would be safe.
"Come on, big guy." Cordelia tugged at Angel. "Erin's sleeping."
Angel looked down to realize that, indeed, his daughter was sleeping. He nodded to Cordelia, and then kissed Erin gently on the head, whispering in the sleeping baby's ear. "Daddy loves you, remember that."
Cordelia smiled sadly at Angel as he stood, taking him by the hand and leading him down to their bedroom, where they both changed into pajamas and climbed into bed, silently, both thinking about how the next day would bring huge changes to their lives, maybe forever.
After lying in bed for a couple of minute, Cordelia curled up close to Angel, resting her head on his strong chest. Angel wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer to his cold body.
"This is nice." Cordelia said, trying to break the silence in the room.
Angel nodded. It was nice. He liked holding Cordelia. "It is."
"So is this." Cordelia said, kissing him gently.
Angel nodded again, kissing her back. When the broke apart, Cordelia put her head back down on his chest. "Angel…"
"Cordy, I don't want to talk about tomorrow." Angel said. He knew exactly where Cordelia was going to take the conversation.
"Well, then can we talk about the day after tomorrow, or next week?" Cordelia lifted her head to look at him. "Because you'll be there, I know it."
Angel smiled sadly at her, hoping her words were true. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"
"Well, when things get back to normal…are we going to move back here, or…" Cordelia started.
"If this place is still standing, and you want to live here." Angel said.
"This place will be standing, and I do want to live here. It has plenty of room." Cordelia told him, her voice full of confidence. The Hyperion had to still be standing after the apocalypse, just like Angel and Jess and Connor had to still be standing. She couldn't lose her family; she wasn't sure she could go on and take good care of Erin if she did.
"Plenty of room for what?" Angel asked, curiously, glad that Cordelia always had a way of taking his mind off of things. Even if it was just for a few minutes, she could get him to stop thinking about the unavoidable battle he would have to fight the following day.
"Well, I've been thinking…" Cordelia started. "Once everything is under control again…Erin's got no one. Jess and Connor had each other to grow up with, but Erin's all by herself."
"What are you thinking, Cordelia?" Angel raised an eyebrow.
"I don't know if we can have anymore kids of our own, I mean with you being a vampire…" Cordelia started.
"I've got Jess, Connor, and Erin." Angel pointed out.
"Jess happened kind of by accident, Connor was prophesized, and Erin was a gift from the Powers…" Cordelia countered. "I mean, I'd love to have another baby, but if we can't, I was thinking we could adopt one."
Angel smiled at her. "You want another baby?"
Cordelia nodded, smiling softly at him. "We have plenty of love, and room for another one."
"Well…" Angel grinned mischievously. "Why don't you let me try and get you pregnant first? If not we can adopt."
Cordelia smiled back at him, nodding slowly. "Okay."
"Okay?" Angel grinned again, kissing Cordelia, and moving to take her shirt off. There was a good chance that this was his last night with Cordelia, and he wanted to make it a night they would both remember, he decided as he discarded her shirt onto the floor, and moved to her sweatpants, as she grabbed at his boxers, trying to get them off as well.
Spike took a deep, unneeded breath, as he stood outside of Jessica's bedroom door. He knew she was inside, he could hear her heartbeat. He had decided he was going to take Lorne's advice, and at least tell Jessica he had feelings for her. Maybe if they made it through the apocalypse something could happen between them.
Before Spike could gather his thoughts, Jessica's bedroom door swung open and she stood in front of him, one hand leaning against the door, while a small smile was curling her lips.
"I have vampire senses, remember?" Jess asked. "I knew you were out here."
"Oh." Was all Spike could say.
"What's up?" Jess asked, as if Spike was always standing outside her bedroom door, as if there was always an apocalypse outside her window, and as if she there was always a chance she would die the next day.
"I…uh…" Spike started. "I wanted to talk."
Jess nodded, moving out of the doorframe. "Come on in."
Spike nodded, making his way into Jessica's bedroom, as she closed the door behind him.
"So…" Jess said, taking a seat on her bed while Spike stood in front of her, hands in his pockets.
"Yeah." Spike avoided eye contact with the younger girl.
Awkward silence filled the room.
"Did you want something?" Jess asked, unsure of what Spike was doing at her door.
"To talk." Spike said.
Jess nodded. "You said that before. What do you want to talk about?"
"Well…" Spike started. He didn't realize just how hard it would be to tell Angel's daughter that he had feelings for her. "About you, actually."
"Me?" Jess raised an eyebrow.
"Right, you."
"What about me?"
"You…" Spike started. "I…" He was failing miserable. He had lived for centuries, and there was a chance he would die again the next day, and he couldn't even tell a girl he had feelings for her. He was pathetic.
"You what?" Jess seemed curious.
"Okay, I'm bloody just going to say this, and I don't care what you do, just don't laugh." Spike took a deep breath.
"Okay." Jess smiled a little bit at the nervous vampire, glad to have her thoughts off of the upcoming battle.
"I like you." Spike said simply. "Completely like you, no, like's not even a strong enough word. I don't know what is, all I know is I've got all these damn feelings for you, and we kiss sometimes, but then act like its nothing, and I don't know if I can take this anymore. I can't be around you without wanting you, and I know I've hurt you, and that all I say tonight might not matter by tomorrow if we don't make it through this fight, but I just wanted you to know."
When Spike finished talking, he held his unneeded breath, waiting for Jessica to burst out laughing, or slap him across the face. He was ready for anything and everything, except for what he got.
Jessica moved toward him, planting her lips on his, she grabbed at his jacket, pulling it off of his shoulders.
"Jess?" Spike asked as he watched his jacket fall to the floor.
"Spike, there's something going on between us. I don't know what it is, and I don't care. Right now, I just want to be with you. And I don't care about the consequences or anything else, I just want this, and if we don't make it through tomorrow, I want to have had something that was real, even if it was just for tonight." Jess said as she went to take her own tank top off.
Spike put his hands on hers, stopping her from pulling her top off. She looked up at him, confused, but he only smiled back at her.
"It won't only be for tonight." Spike grinned. "I promise you that." He then leaned in and kissed her gently before helping her lift her shirt off, and then moving to take his own off.
All thoughts of the oncoming apocalypse, or their possible deaths left Jessica and Spike's minds as they undressed each other in the darkness of Jessica's bedroom.