I've gotten some amazing messages and reviews off of people since my AN on my dyslexia. I just wanted to let you all know that I appreciate the kind words and I'm honoured that you have taken the time to write to me. And it has been great to hear from fellow dyslexics who empathise with me. I just wanted to let you all know and now I'll let you get to the chapter. Hope you all like.

After Gaara's words had reached every crevice of his mind he simply sat in the hospital, outside Choji's room, thinking over and over what went wrong; how everything had gone wrong. He had wanted to prove to everyone, and himself, that he could do it. Naruto had even given him the opportunity to see what the others thought and to show his abilities. In the form of a little taunt before the mission. Temari sat across from him, silently letting him stew until his fidgeting got on her nerves. All but his broken finger wouldn't stop moving. He wanted to know. He wanted to know if Choji and Neji would survive, he wanted to know if Kiba and Akamaru were sleeping peacefully or if they were in too much pain and mostly he wanted to know if Naruto would live or if the Nine-Tails would break free. He needed to know if she was safe yet.

"No point in making yourself crazy, you know," Temari commented, her voice echoing through the large hall. "Don't you remember your psychological training? With every mission comes sacrifice."

He was unable to tell if she was taunting him, trying to comfort him, or just wanting him to stop. Either way he didn't appreciate it. Choji was his best friend and Naruto… He cared about Naruto more than he knew how to verbalise. Choji probably could, but Shikamaru's feelings weren't logical.

"Training and reality are two different things. I thought I knew about missions, I thought I knew what it meant to be a shinobi, now, after this mission, my first as a squad leader, only one thing is clear: I'm just not cut out to be a shinobi."

"Honestly all you men, with fragile egos."

He didn't feel like getting into a battle of the sexes at the moment. Truthfully half the misogynous things he said were to try and motivate himself anyway.

"This mission," he started, standing up. His legs shook in retaliation. His body was running on empty. "I thought all I had to do was depend on everybody else. Tsh, some leader. I should have done more but I didn't have the strength. It's all my fault."

"What are you afraid you might get hurt?"

The answer to that question was not in him. Was it his own pain he worried about? He was in very little physical pain and that pain was self inflicted. His comrades were in pain though. Every last one of them was in more pain than he was. How was that possible? As leader shouldn't he have been the one to lay his life down first? Instead of thinking of an answer that wouldn't come, and instead of having to continue a conversation with an abrasive woman who didn't know the whole story, he walked off.

He hadn't even gotten halfway down the hall before he saw his father, just around the corner. He wasn't going to stop, and had expected to walk passed unhindered but his father spoke.

"Shikamaru. A girl disrespects you like that and you just walk away?"

As the words registered in his mind his pulse quickened, his body tensed. He had to force himself to not clench his teeth and instead reply to the older Nara. "You bet I do! Standing around arguing is not my thing. That's something girls like to do."

"And what are you?" Shikaku challenged. "Not a man, that's for sure. As far as I can see you're nothing but a coward. You think that if you quit the missions will stop? Someone's got to do it. Your comrades will be sent out again on other missions with someone else leading them. They'll face the same risks and some of them might not make it. Ones you might have saved if you'd been there to lead them. How are you going to feel then? You've got a chance to reflect on your mistakes and learn from them. Use your failures to make yourself a better leader. You won't help your friends by running away. Instead you should be trying to make yourself stronger, for their sake, so that the next mission goes perfectly. And everyone gets back safe! The choice is simple: you're either a leader or a coward. So, which are you?"

The anger seeped from his body but before he had a chance to answer the door to the emergency ward opened. He heard a sigh, a light sigh.

"He's going to be just fine!" Lady Tsunade told him, clearly referring to her patient, Choji.

Her words struck him like a blow, making him shake. His throat constricted and his eyes stung.

"The antidote worked," the woman went on, "the extermination of cells caused by the pills effects have been rested. I couldn't have done it without your help, Shikaku. The Nara Clan's sacred medicine guide was invaluable. The work that went into that manual, the years of research! Well, it's quite impressive to say the least."

It was her voice, filled with admiration and astonishment that made Shikamaru pause. It was the hard work of his predecessors that saved Choji's life. The Nara clan and the Akamichi clan had always been close but he had never stopped to think that the Nara's would work hard to use their intelligence as they had. It struck him that this was what his father meant. A ninja's job wasn't to become stronger to protect themselves. It was like Genma had said. A ninja became stronger so that their comrades could return to their loved ones.

"Thank you." Shikaku replied.

"LADY TSUNADE!"

Shikamaru could see Shizune running towards them, a large smile across her pretty face.

"Neji Hyguya is safe! His condition has stabilised. And there's more. I've just heard that Kakashi Hatake and Naruto Uzumaki have returned and they have been examined. Naruto's injuries are serious but not life threatening. He's going to be okay."

A slow smile appeared on his face, his body shook and his legs felt weak. A giddy sensation filled him. He closed his eyes.

"Shikamaru, your mission was a failure," Lady Tsunade called out to him, "however, everyone's alive. That's the most important thing."

Tears leaked down his face, splattering the ground in front of him. Hearing the Hokage repeat the information made it all the more real to him. They were alive. All of them. And Naruto's seal didn't break. Even in her weakened state the Nine-Tails was not able to break free.

"Next time the mission will go perfectly," he promised. He didn't care that everyone could see him; he didn't bother to stop his tears. After all the tension it felt good to release it all. "Can I see them? Can I see Naruto?"

"Choji and Neji need rest," Shizune replied, "Naruto is unconscious but when he's awake you can see him. Kiba is conscious, though I'm not sure how. Come with me and I'll show you to him."

He wiped his face and followed the woman who led him to Kiba's room. He knocked before entering, finding Kiba lying down with Akamaru on a dog bed beside him. The two looked miserable. He looked over sharply at Shikamaru only to yelp in pain.

"No one will tell me anything. Is everyone alright? What about Choji and Neji? I heard as I was coming in that they were bad."

"Kiba, relax. I just got word. Everyone is alive and stable. Choji and Neji were touch and go but Lady Tsunade and Shizune were able to save their lives. Naruto… was bad but stabilised before Kakashi-Sensei even got him back to the village by the sounds of it." Shikamaru sighed, dropping into the vacant chair. Saying the words felt good.

"Who did Naruto fight?"

It wasn't until Kiba's question that Shikamaru realised who Naruto's opponent was. "Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha killed Naruto."

"I thought you said Naruto was alright." Kiba tried to sit up, only to scream and hold his stomach.

"He is now but when Kakashi-Sensei found him he wasn't breathing."

"Geez." Kiba let out a breath, staring at the roof as he lowered himself back down.

The two sat in silence, Shikamaru gently stroking Akamaru's head. It was good, to rest finally. Their mission had taken two days and Shikamaru had been waiting for three hours to hear how Choji and Neji were. Finally a nurse came to tell Shikamaru that Naruto was awake. Kiba requested that the team leader let the blonde know everyone was okay, and to 'let me get some damn sleep'. With a light chuckle he nodded and left.

He nearly walked into Hinata as he rounded a corner. The shy girl smiled up at him, blushing deeply. Bobbing his head in acknowledgement he went to go around her but she spoke.

"Kiba told me." When Shikamaru stopped and looked at her she went on. "I kn…know everyone but Team Seven knows about my crush on Naruto. Kiba told me how Naruto do…doesn't like girls. And I'm okay. I know it sounds bad but it would hurt if Naruto liked Ino or Sakura, whilst it doesn't really hurt at the thought that Naruto might like Kiba or Shino. I know it's selfish and petty but…"

She trailed off.

"It's not selfish or petty," Shikamaru assured, his hands going to his pockets. "It's human. If Naruto dated one of the girls you would be wondering why them and not you but knowing that Naruto isn't attracted to your gender means… it's not you."

Hinata nodded, smiling softy. "I will always admire him though."

"Maybe you should try talking to him. Naruto likes having friends." He gave her a smile before walking off.

He found a nurse who could tell him where Naruto was before racing to the room. When he opened the door he found the blonde sitting up, covered in bandages and staring at the protective headband in her lap. She looked over at him, making him smile lightly as he leant against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"Well, well, so you're awake, huh?"

"Shikamaru!" Naruto sat up straighter and smiled, but her eyes were still dull.

Without stopping to think what he was doing he marched forward, wrapping his arms around Naruto's shoulders gently. One hand went to the back of the girl's head, holding her as close to him as he could without inflicting pain. Naruto hesitantly hugged him back at first before tightening her grip more than Shikamaru thought possible in her state.

"Don't do that again!" he muttered into Naruto's ear, letting his fingers weave into her hair. "Never again do I want to hear that you've died."

Naruto gave a wet laugh. "I'm sorry."

Eventually he let go of her and moved to the end of her bed, sitting down. Naruto was able to fill him in about Lee's presence on the battlefield whilst Shikamaru was able to inform the blonde of how their fellow teammates were. She was thankful to hear that the others were alright, especially given the conditions Choji and Neji had been in. She avoided her fight with Sasuke though.

"I see. Well at least everyone's okay. That's good." Naruto's hands rested on the forehead protector on her lap. It had a large scratch across the leaf symbol, something that is usually done for rogue ninja. Naruto hadn't said anything about it but Shikamaru could tell it wasn't hers.

"So," Shikamaru started gently. "So Sasuke's…?"

"Yeah. He's gone." Naruto tightened her hold on the forehead protector. She sniffled, only to shake her head, refusing to say more on the matter. "Shikamaru, what I said in the earth dome…"

"Forget it." Shikamaru gave her a small smile. "I was trying to be convincing so if I got you believing it I must have been a good actor."

Naruto gave him a sad smile. "Even if you forgive me I want you to know that I'm sorry for doubting you. I'll never do it again."

He put a hand on her blanket covered shin, giving it a light squeeze. He didn't care what she did or said to him at that moment, just seeing her alive was everything he needed. She was alive, she was safe, and although she was hurt in more ways than one she would heal, given time. He found himself hating Sasuke at that moment though and if that traitor ever did come back to the village the first thing Shikamaru was doing was punching him in the face, and then refusing to let anyone heal the damage. That asshole was going to have to heal at a slow, agonising rate, and if he did get treatment Shikamaru would do it again and again until Sasuke stopped having someone heal it for him, or died.

The two looked up when the door rolled open. Lady Tsunade and Sakura entered. Apparently the news had travelled that the recovery team was back. By the look on Sakura's face it seemed she had been told of its failure.

"Naruto," Sakura said. That one word made guilt and pain wash over the blonde's features. It honestly looked as though Naruto was going to cry. Instead she looked back at her lap like she had been for most of Shikamaru's visit.

"I had heard that your injuries were pretty serious," Lady Tsunade commented, hand on her hip. "You seem to be doing well considering."

"I'm… sorry, Sakura." Naruto's voice lacked the emotional range Shikamaru was used to hearing.

The sound of her voice at that moment made him feel cold. Every instinct in him told him to comfort her but Sakura and Lady Tsunade were watching them. He tried to keep contact with Naruto to a minimum around others unless he knew she needed it. Or if he felt he did. Trying to be discrete he put his hand back on her shin, rubbing her leg once so she knew it was on purpose.

Sakura looked surprised for a moment before smiling, giving a little breath of laughter. "Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?"

If she wasn't a girl Shikamaru might have punched her too. Instead he tightened his hold on Naruto's shin. How could she behave like that when her teammate was in so much pain? When her teammate felt like she had failed her? Pretending there was nothing to apologise for just made it seem as though she always expected Naruto to fail. The failed mission was definitely not Naruto's fault though. She had literally given her life for the mission. It was just lucky that that thing inside her had saved her life. As much as Shikamaru hated the Nine-Tails being inside Naruto he was thankful at that moment. He felt like a hypocrite but like he told Hinata: it was human. To make matters worse though, Sakura started to light-heartedly berate Naruto, like the blonde was still the same idiot from the academy.

"Let me guess," the pinkette continued, walking over to the window, "you got reckless and went off half-cocked again, huh? Look at you now! You look like a mummy."

Naruto cringed into herself. "I'm… so sorry" Tears were definitely welling in her eyes now.

"Hey, why do you have the curtains closed?" Sakura asked, ignoring Naruto's grief. "It's a beautiful day outside. See?"

The light stung as the curtains were thrown open. He could have sworn it was still early morning. Then again he didn't know what time it was. He had been brought back to the village just after sun up and he had been in the hospital for… at least six hours. Probably more given how much sun flooded into the room. Naruto as well shied away from the light.

"I haven't given up," Naruto assured, sitting forward even though it must have caused her tremendous pain. Her voice broke as she spoke, clearly desperate for Sakura to know, to know that she was sorry and that she would do anything to keep her promise. "Listen, I'm still going to keep my promise. After all, it was the promise of a lifetime, right? I meant it!"

"It's okay, Naruto, really," Sakura assured, but she wasn't saying what Naruto needed to hear. It almost sounded like she was giving up. As though she thought Naruto couldn't do it.

"He tried, Sakura," Shikamaru said, trying to keep the growl out of his voice. He wasn't sure how successful he was but part of him didn't care. Naruto had more than tried. Her heart had stopped beating for crying out loud. If Sakura thought Naruto was weak or useless than she didn't know her teammate well enough. She was no friend of Naruto's.

"If I say I'm gonna do it," Naruto spoke up, determination soaking her every word, "that means I will! K? Don't forget, my way of the shinobi means I always stand behind what I say."

Shikamaru gave Naruto's shin another squeeze, smiled at the grin on her face. He knew it was a little forced but at least it was a start. She was even able to give a chuckle. Something in her behaviour must have made Sakura wake up to herself for she actually appeared to take stock of Naruto's appearance.

"Naruto."

Lady Tsunade made them leave so that she could check Naruto's injuries. She mentioned something about electricity possibly damaging the body but would not elaborate. Shikamaru promised to come back after checking on how the others were healing. He put a hand on Naruto's shoulder, letting his fingers skim her neck as he moved away. He was enjoying the heat radiating from her body. Dead people didn't radiate heat. When he turned he found that Sakura had left without saying goodbye whilst Lady Tsunade was looking at the ceiling. He looked up to see what she found so interesting but found nothing but clean white surface. Shrugging, he left.

He came back an hour later. He would have returned earlier if he hadn't seen the giant toad that shook the building. It didn't take much for him to know that Jiraiya was seeing his student. He waited until the toad disappeared before returning to Naruto's room. The blonde smiled at him but there was something to her expression. He paused next to her bed, not knowing if he should sit. Instead of telling him if he could she held up her jacket, which was tattered. There was a hole at chest level that went all the way through. Letting Shikamaru take in the site Naruto gave him a wet smile.

"My jacket's ruined," she joked, a tear running down her cheek. "The nurse brought in my stuff. This is the result of a chidori that Sasuke drove into my chest. He told me he wanted to kill me. He wanted to kill me because I was his best friend." She said the last two words as though they were a bad joke.

She buried her face in her dirty, destroyed jacket, using it to muffle her cry. Without thinking Shikamaru sat next to her, his back against her pillow. He put his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. He expected resistance but all he received was a moment where Naruto tensed before she not only let him hold her but turned into him, burying her face into his vest as well as her jacket. For a loud girl her tears were silent. He wondered how she could cry without noise. Although her jacket was covering her face it wouldn't remove all noise, yet, she was silent as her shoulders shook. He held her tighter, one hand in her hair, the other stroking her back soothingly.

A chidori? He thought. I'm punching Sasuke, letting him heal naturally then punching him again and breaking at least four ribs for good measure. And if he doesn't let them heal naturally I'm going to use my Shadow Strangle jutsu on him.

When Naruto continued to cry Shikamaru took the hand that was clawing at his vest and kissed her palm, ignoring the bandages. He pressed her hand to his cheek, kissing the inside of her wrist, pressing a little harder when he felt her heart beat in response. Naruto didn't stop him but instead slowly calmed down. She eventually let him pull her jacket away, dropping it on the floor. He got her to sit up for a moment so he could remove his vest, figuring it wasn't comfortable for her face to be pressed against. Once it had also been discarded he sat back, pulling Naruto back to him. He continued to stroke her back as she sniffled, her hand firmly clasped in his, sitting on his chest. Her wet face was cold through his net shirt but slowly warmed as her tears dried.

He started to blink slowly, his head rolling back. He couldn't think when he had last slept. He was fairly certain it was when he had exhausted himself from crying and raging at the injustice the Fourth had bestowed on Naruto. That had been over two days ago. That couldn't be right. He looked down, about to tell Naruto that he should leave before he couldn't stand but her eyes were closed, her breaths so light he feared that they were nonexistent. He knew she was still alive though. He had a finger firmly planted on the pulse in her wrist. He smiled, kissing her knuckles before his eyes closed on their own.

Shikamaru is not happy with the other two members of Team Seven! R and R.