Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

Renewing Bonds

An Old Life

Colorado Springs

"Ma, when's Sully gonna be back?"

"Brian, he's only been gone for a week. You know he said this would take at least a month," Michaela replied as she stood in the kitchen washing up the dinner dishes. She turned to look at him where he sat at the table. His hands were folded with his head resting on top of them. The expression on his face was rather forlorn. "Do you miss him?

Brian nodded his head. "This is the longest he's been away since ya two got married."

Michaela swallowed hard and turned back to the dishes so that Brian wouldn't see the emotion on her face. "That's true," she choked out.

"He'll come back, won't he?" Brian asked suddenly, his own tears close to the surface as thoughts of his real pa ran through his mind.

Michaela turned and dried her hands on a dish towel. Hastily she crossed the room to him, pulling his body against hers in a hug. "Of course he's going to come back Brian. Why would you think he wouldn't?"

"Pa left and he didn't come back," the young boy muttered. "I know Sully isn't like our Pa but…" Brian turned his face up to her as his voice drifted off.

"I know," Michaela said. "It's hard not to worry that things in the past won't happen again." She smiled at him and ruffled his hair. "Sully loves us all very much. He would never go away and not come back."

Brian nodded but another thought crossed his mind. "Why didn't you want him to go away ma?" he asked remembering how they had fought about Sully's trip.

Michaela tensed as she continued to stroke Brian's back. "I'm sorry you heard us arguing about that," she offered.

"Were you scared he wouldn't come back?"

"No," she said quickly. "It wasn't that. There was so much going on with Loren being sick. And I knew that I would miss him very much."

"Could I send him a telegram tomorrow?" Brian asked quickly changing subjects.

Michaela laughed. "Of course you can. But right now I think it was time you went up to bed."

"Alright," Brian sighed, reluctantly getting up from the table. "Good night," he called as he reached the steps.

"Good night Brian," Michaela replied watching him until he was out of sight. Her own heart felt heavy with the same questions Brian had even though she would never admit it out loud.

She didn't doubt that Sully would come back to them but she did wonder how he would feel about coming back. Ever since he had left the same thoughts had plagued her. What if he missed his old life? She knew these were silly musings, that her imagination was simply getting the better of her. On Halloween, she had thought the same thing only to discover he had been working on a surprise for her – a pumpkin carriage to go with their costumes of Cinderella and Prince Charming. She had felt so silly when she discovered the truth. And this was just as silly but whenever she was alone she couldn't help the doubts that crept in.

Shaking her head, she reminded herself how lucky she was. Most women would be worried about their husband visiting a saloon girl or drinking himself into oblivion in a place like Virginia City. These were things she didn't have to worry about with Sully. She never doubted that he would be faithful to her. What they shared was too special to be thrown away for one brief moment of pleasure. There was no denying the way he felt about her when she looked into his eyes. When they made love, she knew that he would never be like this with anyone else. Still she couldn't help but wonder if that was enough for Sully.

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Virginia City

Sully stooped down by the stream to fill up his canteen. Once that was accomplished, he leaned over and splashed his face with the cold mountain water. The air was cool but the labor was so intense that he had worked up quite a sweat. Pacer looked over at him and nodded his head. Daniel had been right, Sully was a hard worker and not a bad cook either; better than Daniel at any rate. Sully had certainly pulled his own weight since he had been in the camp.

"Hard work, ain't it?" Pacer asked as he sat down on a nearby tree stump to take a small break.

"Yeah," Sully agreed. "Never seen anything like this blue mud ya got here. It sticks to everythin'"

Pacer laughed. "Yeah it's a real pain. When people first started looking for gold and silver here, they tried to use the pannin' streams and hydraulic minin' like in California. Quickly found out that the mud made that almost impossible. This here is hard rock mining country. And not like those little coyote holes that they dug by hand out in California. We ain't got a choice but to dig these shafts wide and deep."

"I did wonder about that," Sully remarked, considering what Pacer had said. "If that's the case, how did people ever discover there was gold and silver here in the first place?"

"Now that's a good story," Pacer said a wide smile forming on his lips. "Ya know the first guys out here complained horribly 'bout this black rock that was heavy. It settled in the bottom of the rockers making things difficult. They'd been throwin' it away for months just lookin' for gold when someone got the idea to have that black rock assayed. Turns out that black rock was decomposed silver ore. They had been throwin' away solid chunks of silver and didn't even know it. One rock could go for as much as a thousand dollars."

Sully laughed and shook his head. "That is a good story," he agreed.

"So Daniel said you ain't a miner anymore. What do ya do?"

"I work as a guide some. Do odd jobs here and there. Some huntin' as well."

"Your wife okay with that?"

Sully frowned at what he considered a personal question. "Yeah," he answered sharply.

"Ain't mean nothin' by it," Pacer defended. "Just know how women are."

Sully nodded his head. "Michaela ain't like most women." With one final glance at Pacer, he stood and walked back towards the mine unwilling to let Pacer rattle him.

"Yeah, right," Pacer mumbled under his breath watching Sully walk away. Women are women, he thought to himself.

Sully sighed as he thought about Pacer. Daniel had said that he was a good worker and trustworthy. Sully agreed for the most part but he didn't care for the snide comments that he always seemed to toss out, often directed towards Sully. It didn't matter to him that Pacer seemed set against him but when he made remarks about Michaela who he didn't even know, that was another thing.

Sully was a few steps ahead of Pacer as they started back towards the mine opening. The men that Pacer had hired as day labors were still sitting around drinking out of their canteens. Sully raised his eyebrows at Daniel who was just emerging from the opening. Daniel smiled and walked over to him.

"I gotta go in town and send a telegram to one of my backers," Daniel informed him. "Ya wanna come along?"

Sully nodded. "Thanks, it'd be nice to wire home. Maybe see if a telegram has come for me."

"There's probably four or five for ya," Daniel teased. "She must think I'm a monster taking a man away from his bride." Sully smiled shyly as he felt his cheeks grow warm. There was no denying it that this separation was much harder than he had thought. He had been on his own like this for most of his life and so he didn't quite understand why it now felt so weird to be alone. "I'll go hitch up the wagon and let ya finish that daydream," Daniel said giving him a light slap on the back.

Sully turned quickly. "Wagon? Ya need supplies?"

"No but..." Daniel began but Sully quickly interrupted him.

"Forgot to tell ya that I ride now," he said with a smirk as he realized that Daniel didn't know.

"In that case, come help me get the horses saddled," Daniel replied.

"I ride bareback."

Daniel laughed and shook his head. "Next you're gonna be tellin' me that this house ya built for Michaela is really a teepee."

"I didn't mention that," Sully returned with a huge grin on his face.

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Colorado Springs

"Michaela," Dorothy called from the other side of the café but received no response. Again she called her name as she walked closer but Michaela acted as if she hadn't even heard. Now standing directly in front of her, she waved a hand in front of her face and called her name once again.

Michaela jumped as if startled and quickly looked up at Dorothy. "Michaela, are you okay? I've called your name several times."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I don't know where my mind is today. Here sit down."

Dorothy pulled the chair out beside her and smiled knowingly. "Virginia City, Nevada," she whispered taking a seat.

"What about Virginia City?" Michaela asked hastily, giving her an odd look.

"Your mind is in Virginia City with Sully," Dorothy replied as she suppressed a grin. Instantly, Michaela blushed and dropped her eyes. "It's only normal to be thinking about him Michaela." Michaela scowled but didn't speak. Part of her wanted to tell Dorothy about her worries but part of her felt foolish for feeling this way at all.

Grace walked over to the table, stopping between the two women. "Dr. Mike, Dorothy, what can I get for you?"

"I already had lunch but I will take a cup of coffee and maybe a slice of apple pie."

"Anything for you, Dr. Mike?" Grace asked as she turned to her but Michaela was once again a million miles away.

"Michaela," Dorothy said nudging her hand.

"Sorry," she apologized once again. "Just some coffee."

Grace smiled and shook her head. "He's only been gone a week. Whatcha gonna be like when he's been gone a month?" Dorothy and Grace both laughed but Michaela merely smiled her face turning serious again a moment later.

Dorothy became concerned as she noticed Michaela's countenance. "Is something wrong?" she asked laying her hand over top Michaela's on the table.

"Why would something be wrong?" she hastily said giving a little shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't know. You sure seem awfully quiet today. Have you heard anything from Sully?"

"Not since he arrived," Michaela whispered, her voice hardly audible. She dropped her hands to her lap and her eyes followed them.

"Is that what's worrying you? I'm sure he is simply busy."

Michaela nodded but knew that she could not stop the tears that were building behind her eyelids. She swallowed hard against the rising tide of emotion but lost the fight as one tear slipped down her cheek. "Oh, Michaela," Dorothy exclaimed when she noticed the tear. "Something really is wrong, isn't it?"

Reluctantly Michaela began to speak. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I miss him so terribly and he's only been gone for a week."

"I told you there is nothing wrong with missing him," she assured her once again. "Don't you think that is what the good Lord intended when he brought man and woman together in the first place? He said it wasn't good for man to be alone and so he made woman." She looked over at Michaela who didn't seem to be convinced. "I think he'd say it's not good for woman to be alone either," she joked.

Michaela nodded and gave her a weak smile. "I want to be happy for Sully. After all, he is getting the chance to reconnect with an old friend. I just can't help but wonder…" Her voice drifted off here as she took a deep breath to stem the new tears she felt rising.

Dorothy's face suddenly lit up as she finally figured out what was going on. She placed her hand on Michaela's shoulder giving it a light squeeze "I can almost guarantee that going back to essentially what his life was before is going to make him compare it with his life now. And that is going to make him so grateful for what he has now."

"Do you really think?" Michaela asked finally looking up at Dorothy.

She beamed at the lady doctor and took her hand once more. "If Sully wanted to be single, he would never have married you. No one makes him do anything he doesn't want to do. He's just like you in that regard." Michaela smiled seeing the truth in Dorothy's words. "You'll see, in another three weeks he is going to fly off that train anxious to get back to his bride."

Grace had purposely waited on serving the two women until she saw the expression on Michaela's face change. Now she approached, balancing two mugs of coffee in one hand and a piece of pie in the other. "Here we go," she said setting down the drinks and food. "Are you sure you don't want some pie, Dr. Mike? We wouldn't want Sully to come home and find you had wasted away to nothing."

"Perhaps I will have a piece. Thank you Grace."

"Be right back," Grace replied, smiling broadly.

"Dr. Mike," Horace called approaching from the other side. "I got two telegrams for ya. Knew you were anxious to hear from Sully so I brought it right over."

Dorothy smiled at Michaela and raised her eyebrows knowingly. Michaela blushed as she extended her hand. Horace handed her the paper and her fingers closed around it as a crooked grin appeared oh her face. "Thank you Horace," she said already opening the paper to see what was written inside.

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Virginia City

Dinner was finished and the dishes had all been washed. Sully and Daniel had retired to the fire each with a cup of coffee, ready to relax for a few moments after the long day they had just endured. Pacer and the other men were a short distance off, talking about heading down into town.

"Ya two wanna come?" Pacer called over and then started to approach them.

"Think we're gonna pass," Daniel replied letting out a yawn as he stretched his legs out in front of him. "That sun is gonna come up awful early tomorrow."

"How 'bout you?" Pacer turned to Sully. "What the wife don't know won't hurt her."

"No thank ya," Sully replied with a shake of his head. He lifted his cup to take a sip of his coffee. Pacer stared over at Sully perplexed. No matter what he said to the man, he barely got a rise out of him.

"They just got some new girls in at Big Jim's. Pretty and sweet too."

"I said no thanks," Sully replied this time with a bit more force. He looked up at Pacer letting him know to back off. Pacer had started his drinking early this evening which led him to ignore Sully's glare. "Don't ya ever get tired of the same old thing?"

"Pacer," Daniel cautioned.

"Just a question."

"No Pacer, I don't. I love my wife. I made a commitment to her and I aim to stick by that commitment." Sully now grew quiet hoping Pacer would leave it alone.

"Suit yourself," Pacer said giving up and going to join the others who were itching to leave.

"Sorry 'bout that," Daniel apologized. "He don't know when to leave things alone sometimes."

"I noticed." They grew silent as they watched the group of men leave. Sully turned to Daniel. "I feel like I been talkin' all about me every night. What have ya been up to?"

"Not much," Daniel replied. "I mean not much other than mining."

"Never met anyone?" Sully asked looking at Daniel out of the corner of his eye.

Daniel shrugged. "There have been a couple of woman who were interested. Once I was real interested too. But well - she wanted me to give up mining."

"Ya didn't want to?"

"Almost did. I told her I just wanted one last shot at striking it big. That was five years ago," Daniel said sadly. "She married a rancher about a year after I left."

"Ya ever regret letting her get away?"

"I don't know. Sometimes but hey what's life without a few regrets." Daniel forced a smile as he spoke and Sully could tell there was still some pain there.

"Might have more time for that sort of thing now that ya got all this." Sully opened his arms up to indicate the mining camp.

"It's so strange – I feel like my whole life I been lookin' to strike it big. Just once, ya know. Now that it's happened, I'm not exactly sure what to do. It's kinda like the one thing I've been workin' for all this time is gone." Daniel turned now and looked into Sully's eyes. "What about you Sully? Ya finally got the family ya always wanted. Do ya ever feel restless? Do ya ever feel like there has to be something more?"

Sully considered Daniel's words for a moment before speaking. "It's different Daniel. You've been lookin' for money your whole life. Me wantin' a family was never really like that. For a long time, I thought money would make everything better but it don't. It might make things easier but not better. Sides ya can't snuggle with money in the middle of the night."

Daniel laughed. "True but I may need to get used to it. Think I messed up my chance for a family."

"When Abigail died, I didn't think I'd ever get married again. I wasn't lookin' to fall in love with Michaela. If anything, I ran away from my feelins. Sometimes, we get second chances and sometimes they're even better than our first chance."

Daniel glanced over at Sully intrigued by his last comment. "Is that right?"

Sully grinned sheepishly. "It's hard to explain," he said.

"I always thought ya were so in love with Abigail."

"I was," Sully defended. "But there is different kind of love for different kind of woman. Abigail was so sweet and gentle, though she could be stubborn too. She was always wantin' to take care of ya – cook for ya, make over ya."

"Remember I used to call her mother hen."

"That's right," Sully said laughing.

"Michaela ain't the nurturing type?" Daniel asked.

"It's not that – she's very carin'. That's one of the reasons why she's such a great doctor. But it's like when I met Abigail, I needed someone to be like a mother to me. I was still a little boy in many ways. I was grateful for her – truly grateful. But when I met Michaela, I had these feelins that I had never felt before. She was so passionate about everything she did. I tried to stay away from her but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Something awoke inside of me the day I first saw her and no matter what I did it wouldn't go back to sleep."

"She must be incredible," Daniel said mesmerized by Sully's tale.

"She is," Sully added, his thoughts skipping home to her. "She's so independent but she needs me too. Sometimes she is so bold and other times shy. It's like ya could know her your whole life and still never figure her out."

"Ya almost make me wish I was married."

"The right woman does that to a man. Best decision I ever made was askin' her to marry me," Sully affirmed.

"So she got any sisters?" Daniel asked.

Sully chuckled. "She does but trust me – they ain't what you're lookin' for."

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Colorado Springs

Michaela walked into her empty bedroom and sighed. Another night without Sully she thought to herself. She had slept alone for thirty seven years but somehow it now felt very strange to be in the bed without him. How could things change so much in five months? Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she slipped out of her robe and leaned back against the headboard. The bedside table held the medical journal that she had planned on reading but she also knew Sully's telegram to her was tucked inside the front cover. He had sent two – one for the children and one for her.

Brian had especially been glad to receive the wire from Sully but Colleen had perked up too when she had read it at dinner. Things simply felt different without him there and it wasn't just her who noticed it. Even wolf seemed a little out of sorts refusing to touch the table scraps she had given him. Brian had made a calendar to count down the days until Sully came home. Michaela hadn't told him that she was doing the same thing on her calendar at the clinic.

Slowly she flipped through the journal backwards, pretending as if she was looking for a certain article. Several times she stopped and looked at an article's abstract just to continue on again. Finally, she reached the front and the telegram fell out onto her lap. She giggled to herself as she picked it up, feeling just like a school girl.

Michaela,

Hope all is well. Thanks so much for your telegrams which feel like a little piece of home. I miss you more than I ever thought possible and can't wait to come back home to you. Know that there isn't a second that goes by when you aren't on my mind.

Love,

Sully

Dorothy's words had helped assuage her fears somewhat but the arrival of this telegram had been exactly what she needed. Bringing it to her chest, she hugged the piece of paper against her heart breathing in deeply. He missed her. He wanted to come home to her. He was thinking about her just as much as she was thinking about him. The fears of the morning were long gone and seemed like some silly dream now. She refolded the letter and placed it on the table before turning down the lamp. As she had taken to doing every night, she rolled over so that she lay face down on his pillow. The scent of him still clung there and now it filled her senses. She rolled back to her side, knowing she would have pleasant dreams.

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Virginia City

Lying on his back looking up at the stars, Sully sighed loudly, wishing that sleep would overtake him. The day had been exhausting. Hours and hours of strenuous labor had left him sore and the hard ground wasn't helping matters. He smiled to himself and shook his head as he wondered if he had grown soft from sleeping in a bed for the past five months. Was he missing his bed he asked himself. No, it wasn't the bed that he was missing but Michaela. During the past months of their new life together, he had become accustomed to her presence beside him throughout the night. His arms would hold her close while her scent gently washed over him. When they retreated to their bedroom each night it was like entering their own little world in which the outside world ceased to exist. The world often came knocking but for a little while it was their special place.

If he was home right now, Michaela would rub his shoulders for him. Her touch was amazing and could truly work wonders on sore muscles. Her massage would always begin as if he were one of her patients. Yet slowly it would change into something more sensual until sore muscles were the last thing on either of their minds. He stifled a yawn knowing that he was tired but still his mind raced with thoughts of his wife. Oh god, how he missed her – her touches, her kisses, her body but mostly just her presence beside him.

Closing his eyes, he let himself go back to their last morning together. His body trembled as he remembered how eager she had been to receive his love. True that she was usually enthusiastic to be with him but when she initiated things, it drove him over the edge. More vocal than usual, he had smothered her cries in his kisses as the intensity of their love making overwhelmed and surprised him. His body craved that sweet release now, though he would have settled for simply being able to hold her close.

Three more weeks he thought to himself. Would he be able to make it? Part of him was ready to jump on the first train home. Turning onto his side, he saw Daniel's form not far away and was reminded once again why he was here. Daniel had saved his life when he was trapped in that mine. Daniel had never given up on him and Sully wasn't about to leave him high and dry now. No, he would stick out the next three weeks but he knew that Michaela would be constantly on his mind.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to Priya for suggesting this storyline. I have really enjoyed thinking about it and finally writing it… hope I do it justice! Up next… Always on My Mind