So I went off the manga when it came to Konohamaru and his sexy jutsu challenge with Naruto cause one: it doesn't turn Moegi into a mini-Sakura, two: it's funnier, and three: it shows what a hypocrite Sakura is.
They had decided to go out for dinner instead of his mother cooking. As they walked into the shopping district his mother kept smiling at him, making him feel uncomfortable. He was thankfully distracted from his mother by Naruto who came running down the street, laughing. She kept looking over her shoulder as though expecting to see someone in pursuit. When she spotted the Nara family she skidded to a halt, kicking up dust as she did.
"Hey," she waved only to look behind her again and pull a face. Instantly she had pulled Shikamaru in front of her with her good arm.
He was met by a very angry Sakura, with her fist raised. When she tried to lower it onto his head she found she couldn't move it. She looked around before glaring at him, obviously thinking it was his shadow holding her. Except that there was no shadow. He felt a warm presence near his waist and knew without looking at the blonde that it was Naruto's chakra.
"Come on, Sakura, it's not Shikamaru's fault that you're a pervert like Kakashi-Sensei," Naruto laughed, only to gasp dramatically and peek over Shikamaru's shoulder, "Or is it his fault? Are you attracted to Shikamaru?"
Naruto dissolved into laughed as Shikamaru pulled a horrified expression and Sakura scoffed.
"I am not a pervert!" Sakura snapped, stomping her foot.
"Oh yes you are. Konohamaru proved that. I have to now bleach my eyes but it was totally worth it." Naruto had one hand on Shikamaru's shoulder, holding herself up. "We all saw your expression. It was worse than Kakashi-Sensei's with Konohamaru's first transformation."
"You shouldn't have taught him things like that!" Sakura huffed, changing direction of the conversation.
"Are you kidding? I'm proud of the kid!"
Naruto's chakra had obviously let Sakura go seeing as the pink haired girl tried to swing at Naruto. Shikamaru pulled the blonde and himself out of the way before he grabbed Sakura with his shadow.
"What is it with you and beating up your injured team mate?" Shikamaru hissed, holding Naruto to his chest and turning his back on Sakura, shielding the injured girl.
"Naruto," Shikaku started in a calm voice. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"
"Sure. It'll stop Kakashi-Sensei from threatening to man handle me again." At the confused look the Naras sent her she held up the arm stuck in a cast. "I couldn't use chop sticks so he gave me a choice, willingly let him feed me or get man handled. Please tell me you guys were getting something you can eat with your fingers."
"Sushi," assured Yoshino.
"Sweet. See ya, Sakura." Before the pink haired girl could recover Naruto grabbed Shikamaru and ran off from her, leaving her to vent her anger elsewhere. They didn't run too far ahead, just enough to deter her. When she had walked away they stopped, waiting for Shikamaru's parents to catch up.
"What was that about?"
Naruto laughed. "Konohamaru ambushed me after lunch and wanted to show me his new form of sexy jutsu. It got Kakashi-Sensei. It was two naked girls. Sakura hit him and went off at us for being perverts so he turned himself into Sai and Sasuke. I nearly threw up, Kakashi-Sensei was disturbed… I don't think Sai knew what was going on, and Sakura was staring with a gross grin on her face."
"And you don't like the sight of two young men naked?' Yoshino asked with a small smile.
Naruto stuck her tongue out, grimacing. "Sasuke is like a brother too me, and Sai looks eerily like Sasuke that I'm tempted to stick him in a wig and contacts to stop the resemblance. So, no, Mrs Nara, neither of them are my type." The blonde shuddered for good measure.
"So is it the dark hair you're not attracted too? Or the dark eyes, or pale skin?" Shikamaru's mother prodded.
"Nah, it's not really anything I can point at." Naruto put her hands behind her head only wince and drop her arms. "It's their… manner. Both are cold, calculating, kinda emotionless. They wouldn't blink at the hard decisions. Sai, until he started opening his eyes, only saw the mission, no matter what, and Sasuke, he will take down someone who's in his way if he has too. I know that one personally." Naruto touched her heart, grimacing. "Both scoff, well Sai frowns, at me for wanting to find another way. I value how people feel. I could never be attracted to someone who buries their heart, especially not willingly."
Yoshino seemed to ponder Naruto's words, giving Shikamaru the opportunity to pull the blonde into the sushi bar, cutting off any talk about her romantic life. He decided it would be best to keep himself between Naruto and his mother encase she started her line of questioning again. He didn't know what brought it on and he had a feeling he didn't want to. Once they were situated and had food in front of them it was his father that posed a question to Naruto.
"What happened to your arm, Naruto?"
"Oh," Naruto frowned down at the cast. "Apparently my new jutsu is a double sided blade. Every time I use it I get cut too. It took out my chakra veins in my arm. The Nine-Tails is healing it but Old Granny can't guarantee he'll always be able to heal me."
"So all that training, was for nothing?" Yoshino asked slowly.
"No. I was able to help Shikamaru take down the two who killed Asuma-Sensei. That was worth an arm. And the jutsu can work, if I can find a way to pump enough chakra into it to throw it."
"How is it that you don't have enough chakra already?" Shikamaru studied the way Naruto's face darkened, wondering what caused that reaction.
"It's because I have to keep the seal under control." Naruto sighed, shooting a look at Shikamaru's parents. "If I put more chakra into the jutsu then I risk the Nine-Tails taking over. If he takes over too much more he's going to shorten my lifespan… he would have already if jinchuriki didn't have abnormally long life spans."
The Chunin gave Naruto a small smile. "How do you know that?"
The mockingly condescending smile the blonde sent him made him chuckle. "You really think I didn't look up what I am?" She popped a piece of sushi into her mouth, looking smug.
"That was very wise of you," commended Shikaku.
"Thanks, but I still need to think of a way to throw the rasenshurriken, otherwise I can't use it. I'm planning to use the time it takes for my arm to heal to do some research. Though there really isn't much on jinchurikis and their seals. How has work been for you, Shikaku?"
Dinner was filled with easy conversation between the three Naras and Naruto. By the time they left the restaurant it was dark. The streets were filled with those who frequented the bars. Kotetsu and Izumo were two such people. When they spotted the group they started heading towards them.
"Hey, Naruto, do you want to come drinking with us?" Kotetsu asked, making Naruto laugh.
"You drink?" Shikamaru asked in surprise.
"Are you kidding? She wins all the drinking contests!" Izumo stated, only to cover his mouth in shock.
Naruto breathed deep, her eyes closed. After a beat she opened her eyes. "Okay, I expected Shikaku to have worked it out since he's smarter than Shikamaru, but what about you, Yoshino?"
"I may have overheard a conversation," Yoshino seemed to find the surrounding roofs very interesting.
When his father wouldn't meet his eye Shikamaru closed his eyes, hoping that if he squeezed them hard enough the situation would go away. Instead he had to lick his dry lips and open his eyes again.
Naruto groaned. "At this rate I'll be woken in the middle of the night by Sakura beating the crap out of me… not the worst way I've been woken up cause of my gender."
Yoshino flinched as Shikaku kicked at a rock on the ground.
"Have fun drinking, Naruto. I should get these two home. And I promise they will keep your secret." Shikamaru tried to turn his mother and push her in the direction of the house with little luck.
Naruto laughed. "You lot can come drinking too."
"I don't drink," Shikamaru replied, trying to not blush when Naruto just stared at him.
"Yes, you do, and it's hilarious."
"Yeah, come with." Kotetsu slung an arm over Naruto's shoulders, grinning at Shikamaru. "Otherwise who knows what we'll get up to or say."
"I think it will do you good to get out more," Shikaku remarked. "Go have some drinks with your friends."
As his parents walked off Shikamaru turned to Naruto, who had shrugged Kotetsu off with an elbow to the gut. She grinned, linking arms with him and dragging him along.
"Don't worry, you don't have to join in with the contests." She leant in to whisper in his ear. "The reason I win is cause it takes about 20 times the amount of alcohol to get me drunk."
"And you don't see that as cheating?" he chuckled back.
"Of course not, especially if there is winnings involved. Keep my secret and I'll share them with you."
The way Naruto was pressed against his side, breathing in his ear was distracting. Still he managed to shake his head at the blonde's antics. When they reached the bar he found Guy-Sensei, Genma, and Anko. He was surprised at Naruto's choice of drinking buddies. When they slid into the booth Genma gave a cheer.
"You found Naruto, and he's brought a boy toy." Genma winked at Shikamaru, making the Nara shutter at the memory of becoming a Chunin.
"Genma," snapped Naruto before grinning. "You should know I'm the boy toy."
Genma roared with laughter as Anko gave Naruto a flirtatious smile.
"With that tan skin and tight body I can see why."
"Oh, Anko," Naruto started wistfully. "If only you were a couple years younger, and you know, had a penis," she sighed, "it still wouldn't work out cause you're a psychotic bitch."
Shikamaru snorted.
"See, this is the side of you Kakashi doesn't believe exists," commented Guy-Sensei as he signalled to the bartender for more drinks.
"Can you really see me drinking with Kakashi-Sensei… or any of my teammates?" Naruto rolled her eyes before smiling at the waiter who handed her the sake. "Thanks, Varric."
"No problem," The man smiled. "If you guys get into another drinking contest let me know so that I can put money on you."
"Hey!" Genma snapped. "I could win."
The man scowled around his senbon when the group laughed.
"Naruto has still been able to walk in a straight line and have a coherent conversation whilst you were slumped on the table," Izumo reminded as Kotetsu hit his hand on the table in amusement.
"The day you beat Naruto I'll eat a kunai," added Kotetsu.
"Way to make me conflicted," joked Varric before turning back to Naruto. "What happened to your arm? Are you alright?"
"Yeah, it's just an occupational hazard."
"Well, I hope you did worse to the other guy."
"He's dead, so I'm thinking so."
Varric winked at Naruto."I always feel safer with you around."
The moment the waiter walked away Anko tried to kick Naruto under the table and succeeded in getting Shikamaru's shin instead.
"Ow, you crazy woman!"
"Sorry, I was aiming for the blond bomb. Why haven't you made a move on Varric?"
"I've told you, I don't think Varric is in to me."
Shikamaru snorted. "Please, he could sashay in front of you, wearing nothing but a sign saying 'Naruto, notice me' and orange underwear, and you still wouldn't think he liked you."
"Have you tried that, Shikamaru?" Kotetsu asked with a grin.
"Nah," Shikamaru took a sip of his drink. "I wouldn't bother with the sign… or the underwear."
Naruto, who had just taken a sip of her own drink, started choking, making the others at the table laugh.
"Well, apparently that would definitely get Naruto's attention. And mine, for the record." Anko smirked. "Always thought the Nara clan breed good looking men."
"I did not expect that reply," Naruto choked out, pounding a fist on her chest as she coughed. "Sake is not a fun drink to choke on."
"I can imagine. The appeal of Shikamaru naked obviously got to you." Kotetsu laughed. "You're in, mate!"
"I'm regretting joining the table." The Nara man sighed as the others at the table laughed.
"Feel free to stand and give us a show," commented Genma with a wink.
"You realise I'm a man, right?"
"I'm easy."
"Oh, that's for sure." Naruto stuck her tongue out at the scowl Genma gave her.
"I meant I have no qualms with gender."
"I can contest to that," Naruto shuttered, putting her hand up. "First time I went drinking with him he grabbed my ass."
"It's a nice ass."
"I did enjoy his reaction," chuckled Guy-Sensei who seemed to be enjoying watching the conversation play out.
"What did you do?" Shikamaru gave Naruto a mock frown.
"Broke his nose."
"I swear it hasn't been the same since." Genma touched his nose gently.
"You deserved it. Naruto did tell you to move your hand." Izumo shook his head at his friend.
"I did!" Genma yelped.
"Rubbing my ass is not what I meant!" Naruto growled.
"I thought it would calm you down."
"You touching me does not calm me down, Genma."
"Good to know." Genma winked only to yell violently and jerk his knee into the table.
Naruto's wicked laugh let everyone know she had caused his behaviour.
"So you don't go drinking with your team?" Anko asked as though they were still on the old conversation.
"Nope. Kakashi-Sensei rarely acts casual around me, and I cannot joke with him like I do with you guys, Captain Yamato and Sai are cool but they're kinda all business, and Sakura… well I would have been hit at my boy toy line."
"If she treats you so badly why do you put up with her?" Kotetsu asked.
"I didn't think she had so much disrespect for her teammate," Guy-Sensei muttered.
"She's my teammate, and like Guy-Sensei pointed out, teammates disserve respect."
"But she doesn't respect you," Shikamaru said softly, putting his hand on her knee.
Naruto gave him a small smile. "But if I treated her as badly as she treats me then not only am I giving her an excuse to keep disrespecting me but I will also be as bad as she is. Hopefully, one day, she'll wake up to herself."
Anko snorted. "You're really gullible enough to think that will work?"
Naruto gave Anko a smile that chilled Shikamaru. "It worked on the rest of the village." Everyone froze in their seats. "Those who see me as a lesser are always looking for reasons to continue seeing me as such. I won't give them the satisfaction."
Shikamaru chuckled. "You do like making people underestimate your intelligence."
"Yes." Naruto grinned, pouring out drinks for everyone from the sake bottle on the table. "And let's see how low we can get the rest of your intelligences." She looked at Shikamaru, covering his drink with her hand. "Not you! I've seen what kind of drunk you are."
"Oh, what kind is he?" Kotetsu asked, looking gleeful.
"He hits on anything with legs." Naruto laughed at the indignant expression Shikamaru wore.
"I do not!" At his words Naruto tilted her head and smiled at him, clearly barely restraining her laugh. "Do not say the two words running through your head!"
"So you agree with me? Good!" Naruto tossed back her drink as Shikamaru groaned.
Shikamaru decided it was best not to drink as much as the others, encase the words 'satin underwear' were uttered. The fact that the others were all more experienced with alcohol was not lost on him. He knew he would lose in a drinking contest against them all. Instead Shikamaru was able to enjoy watching his co-workers become intoxicated.
"Alrig, Naru'o, id's jus down ta you an me!" Genma pointed at Naruto, swaying a little. "Let's make id interesting."
Everyone else had already backed out of the drinking contest, having reached their limit. Guy-Sensei had gone over his and was now slumped on the table, drooling and muttering to himself about beating Kakashi-Sensei and acorns. Kotetsu and Izumo were leaning on each other heavily, watching the two contestants with glazed eyes, and Anko sat leisurely, sipping her drink. It was clear she had backed out simply to watch the other two.
"What did you have in mind?" Naruto's words were only slightly slurred at the end, not enough to affect her speech but enough that one could hear it. She was a calmer drunk than Shikamaru expected. For the most part she had continued with the same behaviour she was showing with the group before drinking.
"A challenge. We pose fee choisses to each adder and we choose one!" Genma grinned. "You first."
"Smart boy." Naruto narrowed her eyes. "You can either… admit the most embarrassing thing you've ever done, take four shots standing on your head, or let Anko put pepper into your next drink, which you shoot."
Anko cackled as Genma groaned and pushed his cup sideways to the woman.
"My turn. Eva you strip down to your underwear, perform a jutsu flawlessly, or kiss Varric for at least thirty seconds."
Both Kotetsu and Izumo oo'ed. They knew as well as Shikamaru that there was only one option for Naruto. Genma probably figured that he could either get a perve of Naruto or get her to make out with Varric, but since Naruto was female, and not male like Genma thought, being half naked in a bar full of drunken men was not wise. She also couldn't perform any jutsus with her broken arm, something Genma was counting on. Kotetsu and Izumo looked around Naruto at Shikamaru, as thought to check if he was okay. Truthfully he didn't love the situation but it was just a dare, so he could get over it. Either way he downed his own glass of sake before looking at the blonde.
"I will inform you of my decision after I use the loo." Naruto knelt on the seat and climbed over Shikamaru's lap. When she nearly toppled forward he grabbed her waist, holding her steady. When she was standing straight she turned to grin at him. "My hero." She winked before stumbling off.
The man simply rolled his eyes at her antics before turning back to the group. Unfortunately he found Genma smirking at him.
"I never did get a chance to ask you, but did the vest work?"
Shikamaru glared at the man. "You're an idiot."
"What's this about?" Anko asked, clearly realising she could have dirt on someone.
"When Shikamaru became a Chunin I realised he liked someone. I told him the vest would help. Was I right?"
"Nope."
"So who were they?" When Shikamaru just glared Genma shrugged. "It was years ago. I don't see the harm."
"Unless he still likes them," commented Kotetsu with a wicked laugh.
"Ohh, do you?" Anko asked, bouncing in her seat.
"What are we talking about?" Naruto appeared at Shikamaru's side, adding to his mortification.
"The chick Shikamaru has liked since the Chunin exams," Anko laughed, turning to look at Naruto. "Damn, you put me to shame!"
Shikamaru looked to his side, tilting his head to compensate for the height difference of a standing Naruto as he did. When he took in the woman in front of him he yelped, leaning back. "Naruto, warn a man!"
Naruto simply laughed as she climbed over his lap, something that did not help his situation. He had felt as though he was getting used to Naruto switching between the genders but when she sprung her… physique on him it still caught him off guard. Especially when he had a close up view of her chest!
Genma swore. "Now I have ta shoot the pepper."
"You would have had to anyway to win." Naruto eyed the shot glass that was mainly pepper and a little sake for lubrication.
"How did ya perform a jutsu?"
"Never underestimate me." Naruto grinned as Kotetsu, Izumo, and Shikamaru all chuckled, having realised how she had succeeded.
The Jonin grimaced as he picked up his cup and raised it to his lips. The contents had barely entered his mouth before he spat it out. Naruto jumped sideways, onto Shikamaru's lap before Genma's pepper spit hit her. Once the shock had cleared Naruto laughed, grabbing the pile of notes in the middle of the table that were her winnings.
Varric appeared with a rag and a glass of water, shaking his head. He jerked his chin in Genma's direction as the man coughed. "What did you do to the poor man?"
"Nothing he didn't deserve." Naruto chuckled wiggling in her seat. As her seat, Shikamaru felt the pressing need to grab her hips and stop her movements as Varric handed Genma the glass of water.
"Should I feel threatened?" Varric asked, handing Izumo the rag so he could clean up his arm, which had pepper sake on it. At the confused look he received he pointed at the Nara heir.
The blonde looked at Shikamaru before turning back to the waiter. Shikamaru admitted there was nothing he could criticise about the man's appearance. He had messy, dark green hair, a decent build for a civilian, and a friendly smile. Shikamaru almost didn't want to hear Naruto's answer. That changed when the blonde shot him a cheeky smile over her shoulder.
"Well, Shika is a genius, charming, good looking, and has abs, so yes, you should feel very threatened."
"Hey, I can get you free alcohol," Varric challenged light heartedly.
When Naruto looked at him over her shoulder Shikamaru shrugged. "I can pay for your alcohol."
"You win." Naruto threw an arm over Shikamaru's shoulders, making him blush as she pushed herself into him. She downed the last of her sake as Varric took the rag back and walked off. "Okay, I think I'm actually feeling the alcohol."
"Is this the first time you've been drunk?" Kotetsu asked as he tried to nudge Guy-Sensei awake.
"Nooo," Naruto said slowly, "I got drunk with Haruki and Riko and I will never tell you that story."
"And you think I'm a bad drunk."
"I never said bad, Shikamaru. And I think it's time to go home." Naruto stood up, only to stumble.
"I think I'll walk you home." He shot a look at the rest of the group in time to see Genma dump the rest of his water onto Guy-Sensei who shot up, looking bewildered.
"I think I'll be making sure all these boys get home safe too." Anko sighed. "It sucks being responsible. At least you have a drunk bomb, currently with big boobs to look after."
"Anko, I can practically hear the venom and envy in your voice," Naruto laughed, hugging Shikamaru's arm to her chest.
"Yeah, yeah, that jutsu will wear off eventually."
Naruto shrugged before whispering in Shikamaru's ear. "Not until I put chest binds back on."
Shikamaru quickly said goodbye to the group and turned Naruto around, steering her towards the exit. "Naruto, I have to ask, you do know I'm a guy, right?"
"Yeah, I've seen you shirtless. More than once too."
"And apparently noticed my figure, according to what you said to Varric."
"What's your point?"
"Well, wiggling in my lap, pressing your chest into me, standing so my only view is your chest… I guess what I'm saying is, feel free to keep it up."
"Pervert," Naruto teased, though she was still hugging his arm.
"You're the one doing it. I'm just not complaining."
The blonde rolled her large blue eyes before putting her head on Shikamaru's shoulder. "Hey, Shikamaru, can I wear your vest?"
"If you want a vest, you should become a Chunin." Shikamaru gave her an amused smile.
"I have more important things to worry about. I have to focus on saving Sasuke and fighting the Akatsuki. I don't know their plan with me but I know it's not good for everyone else."
"You know, you constantly surprise me. I can predict everyone else's behaviour if I focus but not yours."
"Is that a bad thing?" Naruto sighed.
"Not even a little. It's what makes you so amazing and interesting." Shikamaru shrugged Naruto off so that he could pull off his vest. He then helped Naruto into it, since her broken arm was a hindrance. Once it was on he watched Naruto drop her head, chuckling sadly. "What?"
"I can't zip it up." Naruto tried, only to reach just under her chest, where the vest wouldn't close.
Shikamaru laughed before Naruto gave a yelp. The Chunin watched as Naruto was lifted into the air by a dark figure.
"Naruto!" the figure cried happily. "Long time no see."
The voice sounded familiar and Temari walking up to the group confirmed it. Kankuro grinned over Naruto's shoulder before his face went slack. Shikamaru looked at Naruto, wondering if the girl had kicked him. Her knees were up to her torso so that wasn't it. Her face was also turning bright red. When Naruto dropped her legs a little Shikamaru saw Kankuro's hands twitching in what seemed to be confusion.
"Naruto," Kankuro asked slowly as Temari walked around the two to see what was happening. Her face resembled her brother's when she saw Naruto's form. "What am I holding?"
"Arr, I believe they call them boobs," Naruto replied awkwardly.
The Sand Ninja yelped before dropping the blonde onto the ground. Naruto grumbled as she glared at the man. Shikamaru held out his hand, pulling Naruto to her feet as Kankuro pointed a shaky finger at the Genin.
"Naruto, why do you have boobs?"
"Good question. I'm not gonna answer it though." Naruto rubbing her behind with her non-broken hand.
"Naruto, are you a girl?" Kankuro probes.
"Another good question. I'm not gonna answer it though."
"Naruto, are you drunk?" Temari asked.
"Another good question. Yes I am. I think the Nine-Tails is so busy with my arm he can't stop the alcohol."
"Yeah, your questions get answered," Kankuro grumbled.
"What are you two doing here?" Shikamaru asked, "I thought the Chunin exams were postponed until the Akatsuki were dealt with."
"They are, but we have business with Lady Tsunade about the Akatsuki and their plans. We want to get the other Kage to at least tell us if their Jinchurikki are safe, and if they are currently alive, to look after them," the puppet master explained.
"Do we know how many there are?" Naruto asked, leaning into Shikamaru.
"Nine, and we aren't sure if they are going in order. It appears so, but they also attacked you when you went after Gaara. It's unclear if they did that because it was an opportunity or because they don't have an order." Temari sighed. "The problem is that the Kage don't exactly like to cooperate. We're hoping that if Lady Tsunade agrees to work with Gaara that will make the other three pay attention."
"That sucks." Naruto stumbled as she tried to step forward.
"Alright," Shikamaru chuckled, putting an arm around Naruto's waist. "Let's get you to your apartment before you collapse."
"Or before Kankuro tries to feel me up again." Naruto leant into Shikamaru, pointing at the Sand ninja accusingly. "Next time I'll hit you, and since I'm drunk and a righty I might forget that my hand is in a cast, and that will just hurt the both of us. Why would you do that, Kankuro?"
"Well, at least that was half logical." Shikamaru smiled at the two Sand ninjas. "See ya."
"BYE," Naruto called as she walked away with the Nara. When they were reaching the edge of the shopping district the blonde sighed. "You know, it freaked me out when I saw Varric at the bar the first time I went there."
"Why? Cause he was hitting on you?"
"No, because we were at the orphanage together." Naruto gave him a mournful look. "The others at the bar don't know. He was my first friend, or so I thought. He knows I'm a girl. There are some from the orphanage who do, though I don't like to admit it since they either chose to stay silent or were the ones who started the whole boy thing. He used to treat me like a girl. He would give me the bun he got with dinner, since they always gave me less food. Varric once demolished the midwife's garden to give me flowers on my birthday. It was just before he got adopted."
"Sounds like you guys were close. What happened?" Shikamaru pulled her closer, letting her put her head on his shoulder again.
"He got adopted. I got kicked out of the orphanage. I got attacked and didn't see what was obvious." At Shikamaru's confused frown Naruto gave him a sad smile. "The attack your dad saved me from. I didn't have time to hide. They were in my apartment without a noise. They used the spare key. Only one person knew where that key was, and that was Varric."
"He was there?" Shikamaru gasped.
"No, but his dad was. They wanted to make sure they were able to get rid of my hair without me having a chance to fight back or hide. I didn't want to believe it but well… do you remember how we met? The first time we actually talked?"
"Um, no sorry." Shikamaru shook his head, feeling bad.
"You might not have realised it was the first time we spoke to each other. Some older boys had invited me to hang out with them."
"I remember. They were tricking you. There was some rogue ninjas in the area and they were setting you up to get hurt." His arm tightened around the inebriated woman at the memory.
"Yeah. You overheard their plan and told Iruka-Sensei, who went looking for me. You even told him their names. And you went against his orders to stay in the classroom and came looking for me too. When you found me you told me what happened, and told me I deserved better. That was the first time anyone had ever said that to me."
"Iruka-Sensei was so mad when he found us I thought he was going to be permanently purple in the face. And I thought we would be permanently blue," Shikamaru chuckled.
"It did get really cold."
"But what has that got to do with Varric?"
Naruto heaved a sigh. "He overheard the conversation too. I asked him if he wanted to come with me and he said 'no'. He said 'no, I'm busy. But you have fun'. He could have told me, and I wouldn't have gone. But I think he was afraid of what the boys would do, or think. You weren't though. Those boys were kicked out of the academy for what they did. They can't be ninjas now. And they beat you up for it and broke your arm."
"So?" Shikamaru shrugged as they climbed the stairs to Naruto's floor.
"Exactly! You didn't think about yourself."
"You were in danger." Shikamaru stopped, stepping in front of Naruto and holding her shoulders. "Varric should have warned you."
"You're right. And he shouldn't have told his father where the spare key was. That's why I will never go out with him." Naruto kissed Shikamaru's cheek. "Because ones a very sweet boy found me in the cold, and told me I deserved better. I know I'll never be… Granny Tsunade to my Pervy-Sage but I don't need to settle for someone who will choose himself over my life."
"I don't understand the Pervy-Sage part but I'm glad you realise you're important." Shikamaru brushed a bit of hair out of Naruto's eyes. "You know, you're a funny drunk."
"Please," Naruto scoffed, walking over to her door and unlocking it. She put her back to it. "I'll never be as funny as you." She opened the door, spinning in with a gleeful laugh.
Chuckling, he followed her in. "You need to give me my vest back."
"Make me." Naruto squealed when Shikamaru caught her by the waist, pulling her back against his torso.
"Give me my vest back." When Naruto looked over her shoulder and scrunched her nose up at him. "Don't make me undress you."
That made the woman snort. "That sounds so perverted."
"I will be enjoying it too." He turned Naruto around, pinning her between his body and the back of the couch. He gave her his best mock flirtatious smile as he pushed the vest off her shoulders.
"Why do you flirt with me?" Naruto asked softly.
"Why not? You're beautiful, funny, kind, caring, smart even though people don't see it. And have I mentioned stunning."
The blonde dropped her head for a moment before looking up with a smile. "I suppose if I'm to have a friend flirt with me those reasons are great ones." After a pause she seemed to notice how closely they stood, and whispered, "Are you going to kiss me?"
"No." Shikamaru smiled at her, draping his vest over the back of the couch and wrapping his arms around her waist. "You're drunk."
"I kissed you when you were drunk."
"True. But you have more self control than me." He kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her flesh. "You know you deserve anything you want, right?"
"That doesn't mean I can have it." Naruto gave Shikamaru a mournful look.
"Tell me what it is and I'll make sure it's yours." When the blonde gave him a thankful smile but stayed silent he cupped her cheek. "Get some sleep. I'll come see you tomorrow."
"I'll probably be trying to clean dishes." Naruto sighed, looking down at her arm.
"Wait until I get here and I'll help you." Putting his vest on, Shikamaru headed towards the door. "Good night, Naruto."
"Good night, Shikamaru."
Naruto closed the door behind him, and he could hear the lock being turned. He had never realised that she had multiple bolts on the door. Sighing, Shikamaru made his way through the village to the Nara estate. It had been enjoyable night seeing how Naruto interacted with other people of the village. The moment he thought he had seen all sides of Naruto she surprised him again.
Happy Birthday! To the guest who reviewed. It might be a day early where you are but it's Thursday here. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
R and R please.