The techno-organics

Chapter 31

Major bleeding and a few fractures evenly spread along his body. Even in Ratchet's weakened state he still insisted on doing his job. When he realized Optimus was in pain, Ratchet threatened to rise from the berth and unhook himself from the machine that pumped energon into him if he didn't help the prime. Ratchet remained on the berth while Optimus described the injuries and was shown how to use Ratchets equipment. Arcee helped operate the energon chamber that healed all his wounds.

"I still don't understand how this could have happened to you," Arcee asked when Optimus stepped out. He hesitated to give her an answer. There were still uncertainties between them and the techno-organics and he suspected that Ratchet's allegation might have planted seeds of doubts into the minds of the Autobots. Giving them the name of the one who had caused his injuries might just cause more damage to an already insecure relationship.

"I was attacked by the Decepticons when I looked for Alabaster. I wasn't able to find her before I contacted you," he lied. And Arcee could see that he was lying trough his dentas, speaking in a manner unlike him and avoiding eye contact. Trough millions of years of war and countless trials, persuasions, temporary truces and agreements and bluffs against the enemy, he should have learned long ago to be a decent liar. Still, Arcee said nothing about the obvious lie. She knew Optimus well and if he lies he must have a reason, an important reason; and she trusted her leader enough to wait until he chose to tell the truth. That didn't mean though that she wouldn't be suspicious.

Arcee figured well enough that it had something to do with Alabaster, but she couldn't imagine what a sweet thing like her could have done to hurt Optimus. He walked past her, throwing a quick glance at the pile of energon they gathered from the mine. After Ratchet was secured and Optimus called for the groundbridge, they all returned and gathered as much energon they could before the Decepticons returned. It was more energon than what they had for some time. Enough to last a good few months, and more than enough to heal Ratchet back to health. Optimus walked to the computer and used their system to scan the area around the mine after any energon signatures. It was a very small chance that Alabaster in her wounded state would make a spike appear on the screen. He didn't know what else to do.

He knew that Canary had some way to track them, but he had no way to contact her or Alabaster or any of the techno-organics. So while he kept looking at the screen, trying every frequency, he also kept thinking of other plans on how to find her. All of which he knew would fail or didn't have resources for. He hated these moment were things was left hanging in the mercy of luck. Were there was nothing to do except wait. Optimus blamed himself for all of this. If he had handled Alabaster better or not had let Ratchet on the mission, or done something else, then maybe this mission wouldn't have ended as it did. Optimus took a moment to think of the first half of his thought. "If he had handled Alabaster better." How would he else handle her? What other way did he know that would work in the way of an actual parent? She wasn't another one of his soldier, not an enemy, more than just another ally or a new friend. As much as it still disturbed him, she was a creation made from him. She desired a parental figure, but he had no idea how to play such a part.

A beep from the computer stopped Optimus in his thoughts and his hands stopped and hovered over the keyboard. An unfamiliar frequency wanted to contact them. Optimus examined it and found that it wasn't of Autobot or Decepticon origin; it was however cybertronian. He concluded it had to come from the techno-organics, most likely it was Canary. She had probably found a way to contact them when she used their computer. As Optimus answered the call a soft childish voice spoke.

"Hello."

"Alabaster," Optimus said, his voice a mixture of surprise and relief. "Where are you?"

"I'm back in London. I saved her, I saved Freedom," Alabaster's cheer was cut short as Widow made one stitch a bit too tight.

"You did? Are you both of you alright.

"Well, Freedom is..." Alabaster's stomach dropped as she thought back on the new scars and what Canary did to Freedom. She coughed and decided to put the focus on herself. "I'm currently having my shoulder and knee stitched together. Megatron had fun toying with me." The statement came out way too nonchalant than everybody expected, or was comfortable with. For millennia has Autobots, and also other Decepticons, tried to take down the lord of the Decepticons. Few ever came close and even fewer came back alive. And Alabaster just described surviving him like it was no big deal.

"You fought Megatron?!" Arcee was the one too exclaim what everybody thought. What was perplexing everyone however was: How?

"Yes, it was fun in the beginning but not when he wanted to continue the fight midair. He has quite a temper."

A scowled made its way to Optimus's face as disappointment took place were worry once were. This was the last straw, he was tired of her reckless behavior that put her and everybody else in danger. He had been meaning to do this for a while but it had been sidelined because other matters had taken priority.

"Alabaster," he started sternly and everybody got quite. "I want you to return to the base." The albino got a heavy lump in her belly as she heard the hard tone he used on her. She didn't know what it meant, she thought the fact that she was able to rescue someone and return would make Optimus less hard on her. She couldn't grasp why he was sounding so mad. Alabaster held onto Canary's arm harder, making the lavender haired girl raise her face in worry and scan Alabaster's reaction. Canary had also been frightened by the Autobot's leaders harsh tone. In their experience, if adults spoke like that it meant that they were mad, and when they got mad, the one that made them mad would get hurt; badly so. Alabaster opened and closed her mouth several times, testing each word that came to mind by uttering the first few letters; but nothing was able to come out.

"Understood?" Optimus said when no answer came. Alabaster's breath hitched and her teeth made a sound when she shut her jaws. It suddenly felt like she shrunk, and she was back in that horrible place, standing in front of a man that towered over her with a prod ready in his hand. Old survival instincts resurfaced.

Always answer their questions and don't lie. It is useless, they will notice and you'll get punished for it.

"Yes," Alabaster answered monotonously. It caught the attention of every techno-organic nearby. And when they all turned around they witnessed how Alabaster's optimistic persona been reversed to an obedient servant. Straight back, squared shoulders like a soldier, and eyes so full of life a minute ago, now lifeless and glassy; the glow that gave her eyes the aesthetic of an starry sky, had vanished. Canary cut of the link as she heard Optimus about to say something else. She cursed him, despising him for frightening one of her siblings. To see how easy it was for one of them to succumb to the instincts they have worked so hard to overpower.

Canary waved her hand in front of Alabaster's face and only got a slow blink as a response.

"He's angry with me."

"That doesn't have to mean what you think," Flash suggested and sat beside her, even if he was still not convinced himself that there was no danger. "Sometimes when I bring Wasp to the playground I see parents getting cross with their children. They mostly just point, talk sternly and tells them what they did wrong."

"Yes, I have have also interpreted that way," Canary added.

"In fact-" Widow added the last stitch and cut of the thread with scissors before trapping Alabaster in a six armed hug. "Your original is one of the nicest people any of us have ever met, and he seems to like you, baby. He would never hurt you."

"But-" The albinos voice shook so badly she had to take a moment to breath before continuing. "His voice reminded me of our creators when they got mad. And we don't know how cybertronians handle disobedience or how they treat their young. What if their way is similar to what those humans did to us."

"No it can't." Flash refused to accept that the Autobots were no different to those they fled from. What was the point then to have come in contact with them in the first place? He didn't want it to be true, there had to be something that could give them a clue. "When they found you and you told them about how we were treated, how did they react?"

"I guess-" Alabaster thought back to when she came to the Autobot base for the first time, how they all listened to her story while she the whole time fought against the onslaught of agonizing memories and emotions.

"They were disgusted and frightened. They seemed to feel bad for me." Alabaster blinked, the light slowly returned to her eyes and the heavy feeling in her belly felt lighter.

"See, darling?" Widow rested her head against Alabaster's back and tightened her hug. "They wouldn't react like that if it wasn't unthinkable for them to treat each other that way." But once the doubt was planted she couldn't yet be sure that it was untrue. The thought that as soon Alabaster entered the Autobot base she would be beaten and abused for her disobedience, made Widow unwilling to let her go by herself.

"I'll come with you. Just in case"

During the time in imprisonment the techno-organics's emotions had numbed from fear and stress. From the moment they were aware of their surroundings they feared for their lives by pure instinct. The fear co-worked with the stress that would make them desperately fight each other for their own lives. And eventually their emotional resources were so run out they no longer could feel anything. That was all they knew, there was nothing to make them happy, there was nothing worse to make them sad, and there was no one to make them realize the terrors they were responsible for. Since their escape they had the time and opportunity to experience the wide range of emotions one could experience. The peacefulness of laying down in a green field and smell the flowers, the sheer fun of swimming in a lake, the pang of sadness that came with realizing just how horrible their past was. The guilt that hit them like a proper fist to the stomach. The happiness a casual conversation with strangers could bring, the wonderful sensation of tasting a new type of food for the first time, and the feeling of being in power. Every room any of them walked into, they controlled. The knowledge that they all could destroy any threat they walked into. Humans were for most techno-organics smaller than them, that in itself was empowering; humans was weak and had no weapons that could measure up to the hybrids. It took minimal power to take down any one who tried to hurt the prostitutes under Toni and Widow's care, Flash could take down every single enemy in a room before they blinked; and radiating power and confidence was one of the attributes that helped the twins attract bed partners.

That feeling of being in power was gone, they had found a group of creatures physically bigger and stronger than them. The confidence they had when they walked into a lions den was gone. Alabaster experienced for the first time awkwardness and insecurity mixed together with the familiar sensation of fear when she returned to the Autobot base. Thanks to the height of the warehouse she could grow to her full height inside the building, although she had to crouch in order not to hit her head.

Widow hid under the curtains of Alabaster's hair and with an illusion cloaking her for good measure as the dark portal opened up for them. Her breathing quickly sped up, air left her lungs in a shaking manner similar to how her hands and knees trembled. She was instinctively ready to fight and potentially kill if they threatened her, but she didn't want to do that. She was sick of the killing, of the hurting and she didn't want to cause her daddy any pain. She wanted to be more than that. But she feared that if they showed to be hostile then she might not be able to control herself. Even worse, what if she got scared and lost control of her powers by accident. The tremors traveled through her whole body to the point she thought her body would fall apart by the seams.

"It's okay, I'm here," Widow whispered reassuringly into Alabaster's ear. She felt the touch of Widow's small hand on her jaw gently pet her. The knowledge that she wouldn't be alone stilled her tremors to be unnoticeable to others that watched. Alabaster took her first step towards the portal and felt her heart beating harder with each step. There was the feeling of the indigo energy of the portal enveloping her like the the pleasant waters of a lake, and then next second she stepped into the Autobot base.

"Hi, Alabaster." Arcee was the first one to greet. At their first encounter, no one would have even had the fleeting suspicion that Alabaster would be able to fight Megatron and live the tale. However, she proved them all wrong. Alabaster was like a wise person playing a fool. She talked and acted naive and sweet like a child, but she could easily tricked and manipulate the Autobots, and was strong enough to survive Megatron.

"You succeeded," Arcee commented.

"Pardon."

"You tricked us all into thinking you were helpless, and the camouflage..."

"Illusions," Alabaster corrected. "I can cast optical illusions." She demonstrated by opening her hand where it looked like she held a collection of colorful flowers. The vines and leaves grew and crawled out of her hands as it all started to glow in white, pink and purple; like it was a plant picked from a legend. Arcee looked at it for a long while without saying anything. Millennia of war had forced to make her bare witness to so much horror, it amazed her something so beautiful could exist. Except it didn't, it wasn't real.

"You would fit better as a Decepticon," Arcee said harshly. Alabaster felt as she had been physically hit in the gut. But she took a moment and straightened her back and let her gaze wander over the other Autobots with a neutral expression. They seemed tense, like they were afraid Arcee's comment would anger the dangerous hybrid. Wasn't that what she was? A threat, a beast with powers they didn't fully understand? As she waited for Arcee to say anything else, she felt Optimus walking towards them. Did he also think so about her, that she was an enemy? If so then what she had to say, he better hear it too.

"Are you saying I'm the enemy?" The flowers in Alabaster's hands ignited and burned up into ash that fell between her fingers and disappeared before they reached the ground.

"Yes, and I'm also saying you're an unreliable loose cannon."

"Cee, leave the kid alone," Bulkhead tried to argue while Bumblebee beeped something that seemed to support what Bulkhead was saying.

"I don't doubt that you encountered Megatron, we never told you yet you know about him. What makes you a liar though, is the fact that you tricked us all out there. Starting with the illusions you used to come after us, even when Optimus ordered you to..."

"I am not an Autobot," Alabaster said coldly before raising her gaze to Bulkhead and Bumblebee that simply bared witness. In the corner of her eye she saw Optimus who entered.

"Alabaster come with me," he said but she kept looking down on Arcee like she didn't hear him

"I am not fighting your war, and so does no one else in my family. We could not be giving less of a damn what you're fighting for, we might not have a choice but get stuck in it but were not another batch of soldiers for either party to use. I am not a soldier. I hate soldiers, I despise the very meaning of the word, and I hate being called or being mistaken for a soldier. Something that all of you have done too much of already. I was raised to follow orders, to die in battle like a mindless and replaceable pawn. "A perfect soldier", they called me. Just because we have formed some form of relationship doesn't mean we will follow orders like the rest of you. You are not my commander, none of you are. I am free, we are all free to do whatever we want, that's why we are so kind to lend you all a helping hand. And I am not giving my freedom away just to get along with fuckers like you." All the sharp words Arcee had planned was all pushed away as if Alabaster had physically thrown them and shattered them against the ground. This was not what she had expected. Arcee had never been spoken to in such a manner, and she have never felt so offended. The nerve of this overgrown child to not only insult her, but every Autobot in the room; and every one of her fallen comrades. She could understand that Alabaster held such dislike against being a soldier or confused for one. But to call every single one that have ever fallen on the battlefield a "mindless replaceable pawn" and to curse everyone in the room.

"Enough!" Optimus's powerful voice thundered over the room, making Alabaster's antenna lower themselves in fear. "Come with me. Now." This time his voice was lower, but it still held the same level of authority. Alabaster swallowed hard before throwing the Autobot one last glare before following. Optimus led them trough the missile silo before entering the same hangar Ratchet threw Bulkhead trough a wall.

'O god, what have I done? He must be so angry now. He's gonna punish me, no, he's gonna kill me.' Alabaster thought panicked and started to anxiously pick on her stitches, to the point it was like she trying to was scratch up her wounds. Optimus saw the nervous tick and adding her display earlier, her mood that shifted from aggressive to anxious must be the effects of the trauma she has been trough. He recognized the behavior, it was common among soldiers, and Arcee herself behaved in a similar manner after the deaths of her partners.

"Alabaster..." Before he could finish his sentence, Alabaster cried out and shielded her head with her arms.

"Alabaster, I'm not going to hurt you," Optimus continued gentler this time. The girl slowly lifted her hands away from her head and put them against her chest instead. Her big eyes looked up at him, terrified and chocked by the unfamiliar statement. She took a moment to discreetly move her hand towards her neck and felt Widow there, still waiting for any real sign of danger.

"You-you're n-n-not?"

"No, I just want to talk with you," he insisted. Alabaster took a long while to calm herself. She thought of the breathing exercises they researched for Valkyrie and tried to imitate them. Deep breath trough the nose, deep breath out trough the mouth and repeat. Eventually she returned from her crouched position as her breathing steadied, even though her hands still wouldn't stop shaking.

"Better?"

Alabaster nodded and Optimus somewhat relaxed before he began talking.

"I'm happy that you were able to save your friend, I really am. But we must talk about your behavior. You keep acting without thinking and letting your emotions get the best of you. You attacked Fowler, you lied to me and went into enemy territory all by yourself."

"You sound just like him," Alabaster said with her voice on the brink on breaking.

"Who?"

"Megatron. But he was much harsher," Alabaster added with a weak smile, like she tried to cheer herself up with a joke. Optimus widened his eyes at the statement and gently out his hand on her smaller shoulder.

"Don't listen to him. His words are poison to those who have been tricked to listen to his lies. What else did he say to you?" Alabaster was quiet for a moment as she remembered the sharp words that seemed to cut as deep as a scalpel.

"That everything is my fault," she began. "That I'm the reason the twins, Valkyrie and Freedom was taken. That I'm a fool who's action bring nothing but misfortune to others. That I'm nothing like you," Alabaster finished as her lips started to shake and the ache in her chest grew too uncomfortable to continue.

"Why is it so important for you to be like me?"

"Because you're strong, but you're also very kind." She took a moment to take a breath. Her shoulders lowered and so did the hands against her chest, instead having them grip on the fabric of her shorts.

"I don't want to keep lying so I'll speak my mind. I'm not sorry for going away on my own, because I saved Freedom. I saved my best friend and that was worth every drop of blood and every stitch."

Hearing her speak like that made him proud and he looked at her with a warm smile.

"Good," he said to Alabaster's surprise. "I'm happy too that you saved her. But what concerns me is the fact that you keep putting yourself in danger. When I tell you to stay out of the battle I don't do it because I don't trust you, I do it because you could have just as easily been seriously injured, or worse." As Optimus spoke Alabaster detected the faint heightened beat of his spark. Peoples heart usually do that when they were hiding information.

"Daddy," Alabaster began. "Are you hiding something from me?"

Optimus was chocked by the statement. Despite being a bad liar he was still able to control his behavior to look unsuspecting.

"How did you figure that out?" Optimus asked and removed his hand from Alabaster's shoulder. She gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes and placed her hands behind her back.

"I was born with sickly eyes. In normal cases I would have been disposed of as soon as they discovered it. But, I suspect, that someone saw it as an opportunity to test a theory. It took time until they could test that theory, and until then I was taught and trained just like the rest. During that time I learned how to navigate using my other senses. I can by listening to sounds and feeling the vibrations around me form a understanding of how my surroundings looks like, similar to how a bat uses echolocation. Then when I had grown enough, they got to test their theory." Alabaster took a moment to put her hand against her neck where she felt Widow shaking and gripping at her neck, as if trying to say, "Don't tell him."

"When our physical growth reaches its end, we go trough a phase called the transformation. It's when our cybertronian features finally show themselves. We grow body parts, armor, weapons, and our biology also becomes more robotic. The process usually resulted in bones shattering, organ failings, inner bleeding, among other things. We got no help, we were all alone in the process. I can still hear the sound of my skull splitting as my antennas grew," she added and grazed her antenna with shaking fingers, the horrid sound echoing in her head. "My eyes were bleeding so much a big puddle formed on the floor. I was sure I was going to die. But then I passed out and when I woke up I could see." Alabaster raised a finger to her eye and tapped on it, and it sounded like it was made of glass.

Optimus fought a shiver born from the disturbing story and the sight of Alabaster tapping her eye. He never thought he would hate any group of humans as much as he did with the group that made the techno-organics go trough so much misery. So far he had rationalized the evil of the human race as the consequences of a young species still developing and learning their role on their planet. But nothing could excuse the reasoning behind all the horrible event the hybrids went trough.

"I can by listening to physical reactions figure out if someone is lying or, in your case, hiding something. Being made of metal actually makes it easier for me to decipher. Sound, heat and vibrations all travel faster trough metal than trough air or water," she explained and smiled almost apologetically, as if she understood that most people don't like being caught in a lie. Optimus took a moment to process everything he had heard. He looked at Alabaster for a moment and contemplated what to say. No excuses or lies would fool her, but the truth wouldn't do her better either. Yes, she was impulsive, emotional and clearly had problems with authority, but she was also highly empathetic and caring. If Optimus told her that she accidentally used her powers on him, it would scar her with guilt.

"What I know won't do you any good. Trust me, it's something you don't need to concern yourself with. Can you trust me that I don't withhold anything important from you?"

Alabaster studied Optimus's face, her large eyes rapidly moving as she thought over his question.

"Trust isn't one sided," Optimus began. "If you put more trust in me, I'll put more trust in you." Alabaster had never thought of it that way before, but it made sense.

"Okay," she said and nodded, though still wondering what he could possibly be hiding from her.

"Good," Optimus said with a relieved smile. "Now, I want you to also go and apologize to the Autobots for how you spoke to them."

"But I'm not sorry for that either," she said matter of factly.

"Ratchet's outburst planted seeds of suspicion of whether or not they're able to trust you. And what you said earlier might have worsened the situation. If we want their suspicious to go away then one of you must take the first step."

A high pitched whine erupted from the girls throat, and she squirmed displeased with the echos of her whines going moving around the room before she straightened herself and barked, "Fine! I'll do it."

"Thank you." Optimus said. "Now, repeat what we have discussed. What did we say?"

Alabaster shifted the weight on her feet before giving a summary. "I should listen to you more, put more trust in you and the Autobots, and don't go away on my own."

The girl was quiet as thoughts and emotions crossed over her features like a child who didn't like to admit they were wrong.

Optimus led them both out from the hangar.

"By the way," he began. "It's really none of my concern, but I was surprised to hear you curse like that. Where did you ever learn to talk like that"

"I live in London, Toni has a special way with words, and the twins can't be categorized as shy."