Author's Notes: This came later than I expected. Sorry about that. I found myself a part-time job on top of the full-time job that I already have. Living on my own without roommates is a new experience for me. And Friday threw off my entire flow process. Sigh. Anyway, thank you all for hanging in there, and as always, thank you for the continued feedback. It's been a weird few days. QueenMeep and Gizzi, I got your message. Thank you for the concern, I was worried for myself there for a second.

Chapter 16: Trials

In the cockpit, Anakin could feel the presence of another powerful Jedi as he and Master Kenobi piloted the spacecraft through outer space. With slight hesitation, Anakin leaned next to Master Kenobi.

"Does he always do that?" Anakin asked briefly glancing at the thousand or so year old Jedi Master behind them. Early into his Sith training, he's often wondered what it was about the small green being that always had his former Master taking extra precautions.

"Do what, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Stand there with his cane just… watching us."

An amused smile fell from Obi-Wan's lips. He didn't have to turn around to know exactly what Master Yoda was doing.

"He makes me nervous," Anakin added with a slight grimace.

"Do you fear him?"

He shook his head. "No." He paused, going through several comments in his head until he found the most suitable one. "It's a little annoying." It wasn't the most tactful, but it certainly garnered the wise Jedi's attention.

"Speak with Skywalker, I would like."

Obi-Wan Kenobi turned to his co-pilot and Jedi Master momentarily surprised, while Anakin looked on shocked by the sudden revelation that this old Jedi knew his last name. He'd revealed it to Padme, and that was only because she was asleep. With his deeds from the past still haunting him, he felt he didn't deserve to own it.

A vision of his mother suddenly appeared in his thoughts.

A moment later, Obi-Wan bowed his head and respectfully stood up to leave them alone. His absence only made Anakin's nerves tighten up even further. It's been a long time since he felt like a child, and even longer since he last had been one, but as Anakin turned to face the controls he could feel the old Jedi watching him intently.

"Afraid, you need not be," the old Jedi Master said serenely as he slowly made his way besides young Skywalker, whose eyes remained fixated through the thick glass that separated them from nothing.

"I'm not afraid," Anakin said, his eyes refusing to greet his. He has never been alone with Master Yoda before.

"Strong in the force, you are."

"Yeah," Anakin said absentmindedly.

"Wish to kill Sidious, you do. Surrounds you, the dark side does, but in control, you are. Surprising it is to me, evil you are not."

"I… don't know what you want me to say." Against his wishes, the words suddenly started to flow out of him. "For a long time, I've done everything he's ever asked. Not once questioning his authority." He took a deep long breath before continuing. "But now… everything is different."

"More attuned to the force, you are."

"Yes." He finally turned to face Yoda, and what he saw wasn't as scary as he believed it would be a moment ago. "It hurts, though, and I fear what would happen if I lose control now."

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate… leads to suffering. All this, the dark side commands."

"I can't change everything that I am by will alone."

"Yet risk everything for the Senator, you did."

Anakin sighed, trying to control all the feelings he was experiencing.

"I'm trying."

"Do, or do not. There is no try, young Skywalker."

"How did you know my name?"

"Through the force, your name was revealed to me."

Anakin wasn't sure what to make of the old Jedi. He could see and feel the force surround him warmly even when the galaxy was falling apart all around them. And Yoda displayed a great sense of calm in his demeanor that made Anakin stop and take notice. Over the years, he's seen far too many things and has learned never to underestimate anybody, and he could tell, just by being in the Jedi's presence, that Jedi Master Yoda is without a doubt an adversary to be taken seriously.

Anakin found himself wandering around the ship, his thoughts drifting every which way. Even when he was awake, he could hear the screams of help from strangers long since dead and wondered if he'll ever find peace inside his own mind. A part of him believes that perhaps this was his punishment.

If the Rebellion didn't punish him, his conscience will.

He took Master Yoda's words to heart yet he knew that the wise old Jedi was both right and wrong in his assumption of the Dark Side. It is true that he felt fear, and anger and hate. Those feelings fueled him throughout whatever childhood he had through Sidious' intense tutelage.

Those emotions simply jumpstarted his life as Darth Vader. Everything he did since then was done out of loyalty. Obligation. The absolute belief that he had nothing else to offer than what was required of him by his former Master.

Many years ago, he was sent to the planet Mustafar to gather Separatist allies. The unstable environment and the hot molten lava remained cold against his skin. He felt nothing.

No pride.

No compassion.

No ambition whatsoever than to complete a task that was required of him.

When one potential leader refused to join, he had fought him to the death. Sidious has taught him not only to engage one opponent, but a hundred, spending sleepless days fighting against battle droids to help him heighten his awareness against upcoming threats in large numbers.

He made one mistake though, and that is between being and machines.

Two different entities acting in different ways.

That confidence nearly cost him his life. He'd fallen into a deep crater, his leg broken, body bleeding, and the smoke from the fiery pits of the planet filled his lungs with such propensity, that he spent weeks in a respirator.

That is when Sidious encased him in a suit that would both mask his accident and youthful image.

With it, he commanded the presence of anyone that saw him.

He was sixteen.

Since then, that black mask is what defined him.

Until now…

Now he found himself touching everything with his hands. Flesh against steel. Flesh against flesh. The thought brought him back to Padme and the first time he held her face in his hands, and the first thing he noticed was how warm and smooth touching her was.

And the kiss they shared…

It was his first, and with the range of feelings he held for her, he couldn't imagine being with anybody else.

Sadly, that's where his biggest fear lies.

When all is said and done, and if they survive this, will Padme Amidala still wish to be married to a man who's done unspeakable acts of evil? He's spent so long in this darkness, knowing deep in his heart that he didn't deserve her.

No part of him did.

Yet he couldn't stay away.

In her presence, he finds peace in himself he never imagined he could ever have. The voices of the helpless and murdered would dim; their faces would fade from his mind yet their memory not forgotten.

If he could just hold onto her, she could find something inside him that was worth taking the chance.

For if she didn't, then Anakin Skywalker was truly dead.

"Anakin," a soft-spoken voice said, startling him out of his thoughts. He turned to find a tired Padme staring at him. "Is everything okay?" Anakin smiled. After everything that's happened between them, after everything she's learned, she still cared enough to ask.

To others, it would feel menial, but to him it meant more than she would ever know.

"I've been thinking."

Padme raised her eyebrows, intrigued.

"About what?"

"Everything."

She nodded, understanding his predicament. "It'll take some time. You have friends now."

"I don't know how you do it," he said with amazement as he shook his head.

"Do what?" she asked, keeping her distance. While he leaned against one wall, she stood by the entrance on the opposite side.

"To have so much faith," he said, the term sounded alien as it left his lips.

"Faith is a powerful ally."

"Or your worse enemy."

"Speaking from experience?" she asked, their conversations becoming more and more comfortable that it left her struggling to come to terms with the burgeoning feelings she held for her former captor.

Anakin didn't answer her question, but she knew just by looking at him what it was. It amazes her, even now, that one minute he can be calm yet imposing, and then the next so vulnerable and alone.

It was then that Padme found herself besides him. She didn't even know her legs moved, but it was too late. Before she could retrieve her steps back to her original position, Anakin had held out his hand to grab hers.

The gesture took her by surprise.

"I made this for you," he said softly. He slowly turned her hand where her palm was facing upwards. His touch was electrifying, but before she could process what she felt, he placed something in her hand.

Padme stared at it for a moment while Anakin stood looking suddenly nervous in front of her.

"What is it?" she asked, looking at the intricately carved stone.

"It's a japor snippet."

"You made this?"

He nodded sheepishly making her smile.

"It's beautiful."

"I thought I'd forgotten how, but I guess some memories cannot be erased." A beat. "You don't have to wear it."

"Anakin," she whispered, taking his hand. "Thank you."

He relaxed as her touch evaded his senses and calmed his thoughts. He let out a smile that melted her heart and almost made her feel like she was floating. His blue eyes bore into her so intently; she felt completely and utterly lost in them. And he waited, not wanting to make the first move in fear of rejection.

She held all the power and he had no intention of ever taking it from her.

His life was hers.

If she'd have him.

Just before Padme lifted her head to meet her lips with his, the emergency lights started blinking and the ships speed increased. The two collided against one another at the sudden movement but they remained standing, unharmed.

"What's happening?"

Anakin held her in his arms, his mind alert. He swallowed hard.

"We're not alone."

To be continud…