CHAPTER 2.

Jessie walked into the hospital with a touch of trepidation. She knew that she could do this particular assignment, she just didn't know if she wanted to. She'd heard an awful lot about Dr Robert Romano since she'd moved to Chicago, and she knew that most of it was true. He was, by all accounts, a nasty piece of work. There were sexual harassment cases, reports of bullying, racist and homophobic views, a touch of misogyny; he wasn't a guy to hang around with. But, she admitted, there were also many good stories about the man. He was credited with being an excellent surgeon – one of the best in the state – there were countless stories of his skill and dexterity with a blade. But now, well, who knew what type of man he was now. Yes, Jessie thought, this was going to be one hell of a ride.

She delved in to her bag, and found her pass. Clipping it to her jacket, she made her way down the endless corridors to the psychology department. Here, they had set up a small office for her during her stay at County. In addition to Robert, she had several other patients, and her bosses had felt that a stay at County would help her develop her knowledge and skills. Normally she was based at one of the other hospitals in the city, but, she supposed, a change was as good as a rest.

The office itself wasn't bad. Although it was only slightly larger than a cupboard, it housed everything Jessie thought that she would need during her time here. There was a desk, and a couple of chairs, a filing cabinet and, at Jessie's request, a water cooler. The view wasn't too awful, either. She could just make out the city past the wall facing her window.

Jessie smiled to herself and set down her belongings. She had brought a small picture of her family back in England, which she placed on the desk. A fresh, modern arty print was quickly put up on the wall, thanks to the picture hook she had also asked for. It was a reasonably expensive piece; she had bought it with her first paycheck and it went with her wherever she practised. Kind of superstitious, she thought, but she felt that it signified her achievements so far, and she always felt encouraged and inspired when she looked at it.

Satisfied that everything was where it should be, Jessie settled down and considered going for a walk to see if she could get a nice cup of coffee, or even, if she was very lucky, a cup of tea. She missed tea; the Americans didn't understand how to make it, and she often asked her parents to send over supplies when she was feeling homesick.

The door to her office opened, as she was making up her mind, and Robert walked in. He looked as if he would rather be anywhere else. Excellent, Jessie thought, what fun this is going to be.

"Good afternoon, Doctor." Robert said. He was wearing a shirt and trousers and his doctors coat. His artificial arm was sat in a sling against his chest. Sometimes this felt more comfortable. He slid onto one of the chairs opposite Jessie and waited for her to begin.

"Hello, Dr Romano," Jessie said smoothly, reaching in her handbag. She removed a glasses case, and put on her glasses, using one hand, Robert noticed. He figured that she had probably had lots of practice.

Jessie opened up the files and looked at Robert.

"So where would you like to start?" She asked. "I'm sure you've got lots of questions for me."

Robert shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but kept eye contact.

"I guess you're left-handed then," he inclined his head towards her arm.

"Yes, Dr Romano, I'm a lefty." Jessica replied, "just as well, really." She picked up her pen, and made a few notes on her pad. "What else?"

"Are you going to tape our conversations, like a shrink does?" Robert smirked. He made to look around as if trying to find a tape recorder. "I'm sure Kerry would love to hear my, what was it – desires and frustrations?"

Jessie returned his smile, relaxing a little.

"No, we're not going to tape all of them. There may be a few exercises or questionnaires, or particular tasks I want you to do which may need to be taped, or filmed. But for the most part it's just you and me and my Parker pen." She tapped the end of the pen on the paper for emphasis. "You will need to continue your physical exercises twice a week and I would like you to share with me how you feel during them, and what you achieve. It's a very different life, having only one arm, and you need time and help to live normally."

"Normally?" Robert snorted. "Yeah, right. When is anything ever going to be normal again?" He met Jessie's gaze, and she could see the pain behind his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Dr Romano?" Jessie suggested, gently.

"Hey!" Robert said, "I thought I was the one asking questions!"

Jessie nodded, conceding the point. Robert smiled at her and played with the sleeve of his coat.

"So, where are you from? I detect an English accent in there, but some of your words are very American." He asked.

"I am from England, yes." Jessie replied. "I'm from a small village half way between London and the South Coast; you probably don't know it"

"Try me." Robert answered. "I spent some time in England several years ago. Brought back one of the ER surgeons with me as a matter of fact." He smiled, thinking of Elizabeth.

Jessie noticed the wistful look on Robert's face and wondered what he was thinking about.

"A place called Frensham; south of London." She said. "You probably haven't heard of it."

Robert admitted that he hadn't, but mentioned several towns and cities not too far away.

"Close enough," Jessie admitted. She pushed her glasses back up onto her nose, from where they'd started to slip. Robert caught the gesture and another question formed in his mind.

"So before we move on to my favourite topic of conversation – how I lost my arm – why don't you tell me a bit about your accident. Seeing as we're here to talk honestly." He stood up and moved to the water cooler. "Want some?" He asked.

Jessie nodded and waited until he had filled two plastic cups and sat down before she spoke. When she did, it was honest and direct. She spoke of how she married her husband at a very young age; she was just out of Oxford. He took her to America; to his home state of Missouri, and she obtained her green card. She had just graduated as a civil engineer; one of only two girls in her class. And she wanted to join a firm which, she felt, would encourage her career and turn her into a world class engineer. But Alex, her husband, had wanted her to join his family firm, which was run by his father; who thought that Jessie was wasting her time with her career when she should be having babies and keeping house. It was a constant battle, and Jessie had had to find temporary work in the meantime.

The couple had started to have arguments, soon after moving to America. Alex had begun to work longer hours at the family firm, and Jessie suspected he was having an affair. She also believed that he had started drinking heavily. Their relationship continued to deteriorate until the final argument, one sunny summer's day, driving to his parents for Sunday lunch.

"Alex had been drinking all morning, and I didn't know. He insisted on driving." Jessie toyed with her now empty plastic cup and Robert rose and refilled it without a word. She accepted it with a nod of thanks. "I guess I should have noticed, but I was so preoccupied – see – I thought I was pregnant." She paused, and took a sip of her water. Robert noticed that she was trembling ever so slightly.

"So what happened?" He asked, quietly.

Jessie took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"He was shouting at me. He told me that he was cheating on me. That he didn't love me and wasn't sure if he ever had. I didn't know what to say; I was shocked; confused, and thinking about the possibility that I might be having the baby of a man who didn't want to be with me.

"I spoke without thinking. I blurted out: 'But you can't leave me; I'm pregnant', and that's when all hell broke loose." Jessie confessed, her eyes on the paper in front of her. "He grabbed my throat with his left hand, so he was really leaning across at me. The car swerved and as I watched, we seemed to drift slowly across the road. All I could hear was Alex, shouting and swearing. He was looking at me, he wasn't looking at the road." She shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder if it was my fault – if I hadn't have distracted him, it would never have happened."

Robert looked encouragingly at Jessie, willing her to finish the story. He knew it was tough reliving what had happened – he had woken up three times the last week with nightmares about his accident - and he wondered how many times she had told her story. And if it ever got any easier.

"There was a lorry coming the other way; a big articulated truck. It hit us almost directly head on, and the car seemed to spring up of its own accord, it sort of slid down the left hand side of the truck, my side was jammed up against the crash barrier. I remember a sound of screeching so loud I thought my head was going to explode, and the car seemed to peel open like a can of tuna.

"That was when I looked round and saw that the left hand side of the car had gone – all I could see were the wheels of the truck." Jessie hesitated, and briefly shut her eyes. "Then there was the pain," she continued, touching her right forearm gently. "I was almost spun around and all I could hear was this screeching noise, and then, I guess, I blacked out."

She opened her eyes, and looked directly at Robert.

"The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. Three weeks had passed. The doctors had managed to save my right arm, but my right leg was missing below the knee. I was lucky to be alive. I'd also got broken ribs, a fractured skull, and God knows what else. I never saw Alex's body. His family had buried him whilst I was in the hospital." Jessie sneered at the memory of her late husband's family. "They never even came to see me."

Robert whistled softly.

"Wow." He said. "In-laws from hell, eh? Looks like you got off lightly!" He smiled at Jessie, who thought about what he had said and then smiled back.

"Yeah, I guess it could be worse," she admitted, "I could still be related to them!"

They were still laughing when Robert's pager went off. He scrabbled to find it. Jessie stopped giggling and looked at her watch. It was nearly half past three. They had spent the entire session talking about her.

"So, anyway, what were we saying?" Robert asked as he turned his pager off, and settled back down into his seat.

"Have you seen the time?" Jessie enquired. "I have another session at four. We've already wasted this one – I don't have a single note about you from the past hour and a half – look!" She indicated the paper in front of her. "We're going to have to schedule another session this week. I think that in order to present a complete case to the board, I'm going to have to see you twice a week." She looked at Robert over her glasses. " Will that interfere with your work?"

Robert shrugged. He had enjoyed the session – after all; they hadn't been talking about him – and anything was better than the empty house that greeted him at the end of a shift.

"How about I give you details of my shift pattern for the next month, and we work around that?" He asked.

"Sounds good to me," Jessie replied.