"Okay!" Jack chirped, clapping his hands together. "Let's get started, 'ere!"

But no one heard Jack, because they were all too busy staring at him with their mouths open. Beckett, of course, had his mouth open widest of all, kind of like Keith (if any of you watch Hell's Kitchen, you'll know what I mean.)

"What's wrong wit' ye all? Why are you starin' at me like that?" Jack questioned , giving everyone an odd look, the kind of look that suggested he might be wondering why they were staring at him.

Now, you, my dearest readers, may also be wondering why they were staring at Jack. Well, if you would shut your traps and stop gaping, you would find out.

There. That's better.

Anyway, the reason that they were all staring open-mouthed at Jack was because he had changed into his SUPER DUPER PING PONG OUTFIT!

You may now be thinking, "So? How bad could it be?"

Well, very bad, in fact.

Jack's S.D.P.P.O. consisted of cowboy boots, lime green zebra-striped pants, a shiny, skin-tight gold shirt, fingerless gloves with "Jack" on the right hand and "Sparrow" on the left, and a sparkly tiara that formed the words "Ping Pong Master".

"Do ye all have a problem with me outfit? 'Cause if ya do, Davy Jones here would be glad to give ye some 'proper punishment'."

Davy Jones nodded. "That I would." He snapped his fingers, and a really weird looking shark-headed dude stomped into the room, cracking a whip. He was foaming at the mouth and his eyes were wild. He roared something and did the Macarena.

"No, no, Jack, we love your outfit!" everyone chorused, even Beckett.

Davy Jones sighed and called off his slobbering maniac of a first mate. "That would've been fun." he pouted.

Jack grinned, "Oh, well. Now… ping pong ball!"

He then proceeded to bound around the room like a little bunny-wunny, trying to find the ping pong ball he so craved.

"Ah! Here it is!" Jack popped up from a large mound of stuffed squirrels. He was proudly holding up a shiny white ping pong ball.

Suddenly, a wild screech was heard, and the monkey (whom we all know and love) flew crazily through the air and snatched the ball from Jack.

"Monkey!" Jack yelped, jumping up and trying to chase the monkey, sending the stuffed squirrels flying in all directions. One hit Elizabeth in the head, and she took ahold of it and chewed it's head off. She offered some to Will, who looked disgusted.

The monkey skittered over to Beckett, yanked down his pants and his drawers (try to block any mental images, here) and rammed the ping pong ball up his butt.

Jack stopped and stared, grossed out.

Beckett's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

The monkey jumped on Barbossa's shoulder.

Barbossa stroked the monkey fondly.

Elizabeth continued eating the stuffed squirrel.

Jack cleared his throat. "Well," he said, clearly traumatized by this whole thing. "That's the last we'll ever see of me ol' mate Twiggy, the ping pong ball. 'Cause there's no way I would ever use it again. Let us have a half second of silence in memorium of Twiggy.

One-half second later:

"Okay! We need a new ping pong ball!" Jack announced.

He looked around, hoping someone would have an idea. Everyone shrugged. When Jack saw Elizabeth, who was still eating the squirrel, he made an ew face.

"Why are ye eatin' a stuffed squirrel?" he aksed her.

She shrugged, and Jack moved onto Ragetti.

"Ah. Ragetti, gimme yer eye."