CHAPTER 15
Robert struggled into his shirt, catching his prosthetic on the cuffs. Cursing softly, he tried again. Eventually he managed to slide the shirt on over his body. He snapped the poppers shut, grateful he didn't have to struggle with buttons. Since his accident, he found that he'd had to make some changes to his wardrobe to make his life easier. Funny how the simplest tasks could become so complicated. Tying shoelaces, for example. So he'd ditched the laces and bought slip-on shoes, trainers with Velcro, and ankle boots with zips, like the ones he was wearing now. They may have been small changes to other people, but they made all the difference to Robert's life.
Shoving his work shirt and trousers into a plastic bag, Robert left the cubicle where he'd been changing, and went to the mirror to check out his reflection. He was feeling a little nervous about the evening; he realized that it would probably be the last time that he would go out with his colleagues, and he was determined to have a nice time. He was glad that Elizabeth was going to be there. And Susan wasn't too awful to him either. She'd told him about Jessie, and he was thankful for that.
Studying his reflection, Robert straightened his shoulders and sucked in his tummy. Not that there was much to suck in, he thought, pleased. Still wearing the same size jeans as I was when I was thirty, he thought, proudly. Mind you, he considered, running his hand over his head, I was just as bald then as I am now. Although that's not necessarily a bad thing, he acknowledged. Bald is probably significantly better than ginger curls.
Robert regarded himself critically. He knew he wasn't God's gift – hey – very few people were lucky enough to look like Kovac, he reasoned, but he had previously always been comfortable with who he was. But that was before. The accident had robbed him of so much more than just an arm. It had taken away his sense of self worth. His dignity. And his ability to perform surgery – the one thing he knew he could do better than almost anyone he'd ever met.
It had also, Robert figured, hampered his luck with women. First Lizzie, then Nurse Hamilton; and now he might never get a chance with Jessie. And yet, he thought suddenly; if he hadn't have stood up, into the tail rotor of the helicopter, he might never have met Jessie Rhodes. Funny how things turn out, he realized.
"Okay, Rocket – you can do this!" He muttered to himself. "Jessie taught you well; seize the day. Take a chance. You never know, you might have a good time!"
He winked at his reflection and left the bathroom.
vvvvvvv
By the time they got to the bar, it was starting to get busy. Susan had arranged for an area to be reserved for them, and they piled round the tables. Someone suggested a kitty and they all put some money in. Luca and Morris went off to get the drinks.
Robert found himself sitting in between Elizabeth and Susan, which pleased him. He tried to chat to Susan, but she seemed distracted by something, and kept looking over his shoulder. So he turned to Elizabeth. They made small talk for a while, and Robert began to relax. He laughed at Jerry's jokes, even the bad ones, and joined in with the drinking games. He was having a pretty good time.
As the evening wore on, he noticed that the kitty was running low. He decided to buy a round of drinks; after all, he earned more than everyone else at the table, and it was a small gesture to show how much he'd appreciated being invited out with them.
"Right! My round, I think!" said Robert, and stood up to go to the bar. "Same again, everyone?" His colleagues nodded, determined to take advantage of Romano's generosity.
"Let me help you with that, Robert," said Elizabeth, also standing. The couple made their way through the crowds to the bar. As they stood waiting to be served, Elizabeth regarded her friend. He looks different from usual, she thought. I wonder if that's a new shirt. It was a blue so dark it was almost inky black. I think he looks more at peace with himself, she decided. His manner had changed, too; almost as if he was happy to be leaving County.
"So, Robert, what are you going to do when you leave?" Elizabeth said, casually, leaning against the bar, and trying not to check out her reflection. The barman approached them and Robert rattled off the order.
Robert turned to face her. She looked at him and smiled, and he remembered why he'd loved her all those years.
"I'm not sure actually, Lizzie," he shrugged. "I don't need to work, certainly not for a while. I might travel for a bit." He paused, thinking to himself. "I hear Boston's nice this time of year."
Elizabeth placed a hand on his arm, and leaned towards him to be heard over the music.
"You won't forget us, will you?" she asked softly. "I'd hate it if you did."
Robert regarded her hand, resting on his arm. His good arm. The one that could easily snake around her waist and pull her towards him. He thought about all the years he'd longed for Elizabeth to give some indication; just a sign that she felt something for him. The fog that Robert thought he'd blown away when he caught Elizabeth in the toilets with Dorsett returned; his thoughts became blurry. What did she mean? Was she telling him she would miss him, or was she telling him that she'd really miss him?
"…If you weren't doing anything, of course..." Elizabeth was saying.
"That'll be thirty three dollars, buddy!" The barman yelled.
Robert turned to Elizabeth, his brow furrowed in confusion
"Huh?" he said.
Elizabeth smiled shyly.
"I said that you could come and spend Christmas with us, if you weren't doing anything else…"
Robert handed some money to the barman, and looked at Elizabeth, thinking about what she'd just said. Out of the corner of his eye he saw someone approach them.
"I've come to help!" announced Jerry, lumbering up to them, a smirk playing across his face. "Oh, look what I found!" His arm appeared from behind his back and he held something in the air, above where Robert and Elizabeth were standing.
Robert glanced up and saw the sprig of mistletoe Jerry had produced. He glanced at Elizabeth, who was looking at him, a half smile on her lips. Time seemed to slow right down and all Robert could hear was the hammer of his own heartbeat, loud in his ears. Should he kiss her?
He looked over at the table where his colleagues were sat. Of course, they were all staring expectantly at them; someone had set this up, and they were eager to see how it played out. Everyone was looking over…everyone except Susan, he noticed. Susan appeared to be signalling to someone near the door. Robert's gaze shifted, to see who Susan was waving at, and his heart skipped a beat.
Jessie stood at the door, shaking the snow out of hair. She caught Susan's wild gesticulations and her eyes swivelled in Robert's direction. Their eyes met, and Robert's whole body tingled. Suddenly, the fog which had descended, cleared, and Robert knew where his heart belonged.
Leaning forward, he placed his hand on Lizzie's waist, and gently kissed her cheek.
"Merry Christmas, Lizzie!" He said, cheerily. Turning towards Jerry, he smiled. "Jerry, could you and Lizzie carry the drinks back to the table, for me? I won't be a minute!"
Moving past Elizabeth, he made his way through the crowds over to where Jessie was standing. He didn't notice Susan's triumphant gesture, or Elizabeth's frown, which deepened when she saw where he had gone. He didn't see anything except Jessie. She looked incredible. The cold had splashed colour on her cheeks and her hair shone in the light.
"Hey," Robert said softly.
"Hey, Doctor Romano." Jessie smiled shyly at Robert.
"I didn't expect you to be here," Robert began, hesitantly. "It's great to see you, Jessie."
Jessie grinned.
"To be honest, I'm not really sure why I am here, but Susan made me promise to turn up. She said it would be 'an evening to remember'; so here I am!" She regarded Robert. "I thought you weren't talking to me," she said.
Robert blushed.
"Yes, well, I need to apologize to you for that. Can we talk?"
"Of course," Jessie replied. She looking round at their surroundings. "Do you want to stay here, or…"
"We could go somewhere a bit quieter." Robert suggested, hastily. Now she was here, he wanted to have her full attention; there was a great deal he needed to say to her.
Jessie nodded and smiled again, and Robert's heart melted. He'd been desperate to speak to her since that afternoon nearly four weeks ago. Now he knew she was looking for another job, it had become even more important to tell her how he felt before she disappeared out of his life forever. Now, finally, he thought, he might get a chance.
"Now promise me you'll stay right here. I have to get my coat." Robert instructed.
"I'm not going anywhere," Jessie affirmed.
Robert threaded his way through the crowd, back to his colleagues. He pulled his coat off the back of his chair, and put it on.
"Right, sorry to break up the party, but I've had a more attractive offer." Robert grinned.
"So I see," Kovac deadpanned.
"Thanks for the drinks, Doctor Romano," Abby chimed, nudging Susan. "Have a great evening!"
Robert smiled at Abby.
"An evening to remember," he murmured. Suddenly, he remembered where he'd heard that phrase before. Looking over at Susan, he winked. 'Thank you', he said softly.
Susan grinned.
"Merry Christmas, Doctor Romano!" she said.
Robert looked at his colleagues; all the people he'd worked with for years. He didn't really hate them, just as they didn't really hate him. And some, like Susan, and Luca, were actually nice people. And there was always Lizzie of course. He was going to miss them.
"Merry Christmas, guys." Robert addressed his colleagues. "I'll see you later."
vvvvvvv
The night air was cold on their faces as they stepped out of the bar but neither of them felt it.
"Where shall we go?" Jessie asked Robert, as they started walking.
Robert thought for a minute.
"I know a great place; it's not far. Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Starving," Jessie admitted. "I didn't have time for lunch."
Robert smiled at her.
"Busy at work?" He asked, curiously. He was desperate to know what had happened in Boston, but was reluctant to tell Jessie that he knew. She might be angry at Susan for telling him.
Jessie nodded, and began to talk a bit about some of her patients. She didn't mention the report, or Romano's behaviour that afternoon in her office. They chatted inanely about work for a while, until Robert gently put his arm on Jessie's and steered her towards a tiny restaurant, down a little side street. The snow was falling steadily, and both were glad to get out of the cold.
Once inside, the warmth hit them like a wall. The restaurant was cosy and inviting, and was more than half full. Quiet music was piped in, and there was a hum about the place that made Jessie feel instantly comfortable. She'd never been here before, but, if the food was as good as the restaurant promised, she'd certainly be returning.
A short man, shorter than Robert, came up to greet them. He was wearing a suit and sporting a truly magnificent moustache. His dark hair was slicked back, and Jessie could tell just from his look that he was French. He couldn't have been more French if he'd been wearing a beret and a string of onions. He looked as if he was the owner; his suit was superbly cut, and his shoes looked expensive.
"Bon soir, Pierre," Robert smiled.
"Ah! Bon soir, Monsieur Robert. C'est charmant pour vous voir encore!" The man looked at Jessie and smiled. "Et vous, mademoiselle, vous êtes très bienvenue!"
Robert turned to Jessie, as if to say something. Suddenly, Jessie spoke.
"C'est très agréable pour être ici!" she said, smiling.
Robert grinned. He should have known that Jessie could speak French.
Pierre showed them to a table in the corner. He took Jessie's coat and held out the chair for her. Then he repeated the process for Robert. Leaving a couple of menus on the table, he retired discreetly, leaving them alone.
Jessie looked round the restaurant. It looked like a great place to bring a date, and she wondered briefly if that was why Robert had brought her here.
"This is one of my favourite restaurants," Robert said, softly, noticing her studying the other diners. "I come here about once a week. Pierre's a great guy and the food is superb." He paused, considering. "And they don't seem to mind that I'm alone. Or that sometimes I get them to cut up my steak." He looked down at the table and toyed with his napkin.
"Jessie, listen, before we eat, I want to say sorry for what happened in your office. For accusing you of trying to get me fired. I know now what really happened." Robert looked up and his eyes met Jessie's. "I acted like a jerk, which I know is not unusual, and I want to make it up to you. I hope you'll accept this dinner as a proper apology."
Jessie squeezed Robert's hand, gently.
"Of course, Romano. Thank you. So what really happened?"
Robert told Jessie about the vote and Lizzie's abstention. He didn't seem too cut up about it, Jessie thought, as she listened to him talk. After a few minutes, a waiter interrupted them to take their order. Hastily consulting the menus, they chose their food.
"I hope you like red wine," Robert said. "Pierre always chooses for me based on what I order. He's not put a foot wrong yet!"
Jessie grinned.
"Sounds excellent!" She said. "I always have terrible trouble trying to decide what's going to be nice. I haven't the heart to say I don't like it, so I usually end up ordering the same thing, you know?"
Robert agreed, and continued his story. Jessie relaxed into her chair, happy just to be with him. Her trip to Boston had done nothing to free her of his spell, and sitting here so close, she was sure he would be able to guess her feelings. She wondered how he would react. Does he like me? she thought? He's being nice, and I think we're having a great time, but I just don't know. Perhaps we can be friends, she wondered. I hope so.
The meal soon arrived, and Robert was right – the food was superb. The wine Pierre had chosen for them was a perfect accompaniment, and Jessie was surprised at the speed they finished one bottle and started on another. Don't want to get too drunk, she thought. I might leap on him, and that would be messy.
Robert ate his food, making sure that Jessie was enjoying hers. He couldn't believe how this evening was turning out. This beautiful, kind, interesting woman was sitting here having dinner with him – Robert Romano – and she seemed to be having a good time. Perhaps, he thought, if the evening goes well, I could ask her out again.
They chatted through the meal, oblivious to everything else except each other. After the waiter had taken their plates away, Jessie sat back contentedly. She idly hoped Romano would order dessert. Not that she was hungry, she just didn't want the evening to end.
As if reading her mind, Robert signalled the waiter to bring the menu.
"I understand that the chocolate mousse is to die for," he said nonchalantly, hoping that Jessie wasn't too full for anything else. He didn't want the evening to end, and he thought he'd suggest dessert, on the off-chance.
Jessie groaned in mock despair.
"Don't tell me that!" she protested. "We're going to have to try it now, otherwise we'll never know. Can we have a ten minute breather first?"
Robert nodded in agreement. Another hour in her company, he thought. And then we can have coffee; well, Jessie can have tea, and I'll have coffee. And then…then maybe she'll let me walk her home. I don't think she's far from here. I remember we came this way when the taxi took us home after that dinner. I hope she doesn't ask Pierre to call her a cab.
"I can't believe I've been in Chicago all this time, and I've never been here before," Jessie mused, as she scanned the restaurant's little business card on the table. "I think I must only live about ten minutes' walk away."
"Perhaps you'll allow me the pleasure of walking you home after the meal," Robert said, unable to hide a smirk.
vvvvvv
By the time they left the restaurant, it had already closed, and the staff were waiting patiently for Robert and Jessie to leave. Robert paid the bill, tipping Pierre and his waiters handsomely for their troubles. Pierre winked at Robert as he helped Jessie with her coat, and Robert had to bite his lip not to laugh.
The snow was still falling, but it was not nearly as heavy. The snow had settled though, and, after nearly slipping twice, Jessie had accepted Robert's help. She took his arm gently, and they began to walk home. All too soon, Jessie stopped outside a handsome building. I recognize this, Robert though, suddenly. We're here. He needed to ask now before it was too late.
"I've had a great evening," Robert began. "We should do it again," he suggested.
"I'd really like that," Jessie said, softly. Her eyes met his, and she looked shyly away, biting her lips, nervously. Her body felt like it was on fire beneath his stare, and she could hear her heart thumping in her ears. Kiss me, you idiot! She thought, fiercely.
Robert stared at her mouth, groaning inwardly at the sight of her red lips, soft and inviting. Kiss her, you idiot! His brain screamed at him.
Barely registering his actions, Robert reached out and gently pulled Jessie towards him. Leaning forward, he kissed her, tenderly. He heard Jessie gasp in surprise and he could hardly believe it when she didn't pull away. Instead she pressed her body against his, and responded to his kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other and stood there for a moment, lips locked in a warm, passionate embrace.
Slowly, Jessie pulled away from Robert. He tightened his grip round her waist, reluctant to release her so soon, and regarded her calmly.
"Wow," Jessie managed.
"We should definitely do that again!" Robert smiled.
"Definitely." Jessie pulled him close for another kiss; this one more passionate than the first. When they both surfaced for air, their faces were flushed, and it wasn't from the cold. In fact, they hadn't noticed that it had stopped snowing. The sky had cleared and the stars twinkled over the city.
Oblivious to everything around him except the woman in his arms, Robert held Jessie tightly, his face buried in her hair. She smelled so good, he thought. Jessie nuzzled his neck gently with her teeth and he groaned softly.
"Okay," he whispered into her neck, his voice husky with desire, "I am going to have to go home now, before we get carried away, and your neighbours complain about us. Are you working tomorrow? Can I see you?" He straightened up and looked at Jessie. She had a silly grin on her face and he knew he was wearing a similar expression.
"No, I've got the weekend off," Jessie said, softly. "what about you?"
"Same here," Robert admitted. "Would you like to spend the weekend with me?" He asked, shyly.
"I'd like that very much, Doctor Romano." Jessie answered, snuggling close to him.
Robert kissed the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair. She wants to spend time with me! His whole body tingled with delight at the thought. He couldn't believe his luck.
"So why don't you come over tomorrow for breakfast?" Jessie asked. "We can decide what to do then!"
Robert murmured assent, and kissed her again.
"I want to do this right, Jessie," he whispered. "I really like spending time with you. It just feels so comfortable, so natural, so…"
"Right." Jessie finished his sentence for him. "I know, Robert. I feel it too." She pulled back slightly to look at his face. "And that's why I'm not inviting you in now. I don't want to rush this and screw it up. I hope that's okay."
Robert nodded.
"You're worth waiting for, Jessie Rhodes," Robert grinned, his smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat. "But I am going to have to have a very cold shower when I get home!"
Jessie giggled, shoving Robert playfully.
"You're not the only one!" She exclaimed. "Now where do you live? Do we need to get you a cab? It's usually easy if you stand on Bleaker Street."
Robert leaned in and kissed Jessie's cheek.
"I'll be fine," he said. "I'm only about ten minutes away. The walk will do me good. I'll see you tomorrow." He released her, reluctantly, and watched as she climbed the steps to her apartment. "Sleep well!" He whispered.
"You too, Robert!" Jessie grinned. "Can't wait for tomorrow!" She looked back at Robert, scarcely able to believe that this was really happening. As she smiled at Robert, he moved, quickly, up the steps towards her, and kissed her again.
"I'm sorry – I just can't get over this – I'm just waiting for the bubble to burst, and you'll tell me it's all a joke," Robert muttered. "So I'm trying to kiss you as much as possible before you tell me to get lost!"
"Listen to me, Robert Romano," Jessie began, firmly, trying in vain to keep a straight face with Robert kissing her neck. "I'll still be here in the morning. I promise. I'm in number 3, remember? I'll see you any time after about nine."
"I'll be here at five past!" Robert vowed, moving back. He descended the steps, and moved away. "I had a lovely time, Jessie. Thank you. Doctor Lewis was right. It certainly has been an evening to remember!"