Selene knew something was wrong the moment she got the text asking her to meet them in Scott's office. No one went in there, not even Scott, if they could help it. Scott said it reminded him too much of all the paperwork he was putting off and he preferred to work in the lounge where he could be around his family. She only spent time there when she was feeding, cuddling or generally looking after Buddy and Ellie, the bearded dragons that Gordon had been gifted which Scott had adopted.

John was sitting on one end of the comfy couch that Scott often ended up sleeping on when he had worked too late to be bothered going to bed. Scott was seated on the other end, leaving her to take the fancy ergonomic chair behind the desk that he never normally allowed her to even look at, let alone park her arse in. They were buttering her up…

"OK, spill it, what's wrong?"

They looked at each other, which made her even more suspicious. She couldn't trust Scott as far as she could throw him, he was a pain in her arse most days and seemed to have a knack of doing the worst thing possible whenever the chance arose. If he hadn't been her best friend that she loved very much she would have killed him years ago just to spare herself the hassle of trying to control him. But John, her darling husband, he was supposed to be the sensible one, he was supposed to be the one she could count on. Looked like she was back to only trusting Virgil. Good times.

"What happened? Did Grandma wash another set of my cards because I left them in your pocket?"

"We're really sorry." That was from darling husband and the soft tone of his voice made worry replace the mild annoyance she had been feeling, twisting a knot in her stomach.

"This isn't about my cards, is it?" Had something happened to her mum or her brother? All the rest of the family were home or accounted for, she'd just left Alan in the kitchen, Jeff was in the lounge with Grandma and Virgil, Kayo was helping Brains in the lab, Gordon was visiting Penny to escort her to an event and the other two, well they were staring back at her like kicked puppies.

"Is someone hurt? Why aren't you telling me what's going on?" She was fast losing patience and was close to walking out the door again. "Look, if no one died and nothing is broken I'm just gonna go because you're weirding me out now and I got shit to do today, OK?"

Scott nudged John who looked like he would rather be anywhere but there at that current moment in time. She wasn't used to seeing that look on his face any more, he was so much more relaxed and sociable than he had once been.

"Babe, what are you sorry for?" she pushed as gently as she could, knowing that he often needed careful handling.

Even Scott looked scared of her reaction, something wasn't right-

"We saw Nathaniel," John said quietly.

Her brain skidded to a halt, all she could do for a solid ten seconds was blink as it slowly rebooted, as she tried to make some kind of sense of the words he had just spoken.

"Nathaniel?" Scott didn't even know about him. No, they had to be talking about someone else, there was no possible way- "As in my ex, Nathaniel?"

"Yes," Scott admitted. The shit! Her eyes narrowed accusingly at both Scott and then John. John must have told him unless-

"How did that happen?" she burst out, sudden visions of her ex popping up out of nowhere just to fuck with them filling her head. "Are you both OK? Did he say anything to you? Did he threaten you? He didn't do anything to you, did he? I'll fucking kill him myself! I just knew that something like this would happen, did he ask you for money? Gods, this is my worst nightmare! How dare he? How dare he try this shit!" This was better, anger was better, that was always preferable to worrying that something had happened to one of her precious boys.

"No, Sel, we-" John tried but she cut him off. He glanced at Scott who shrugged, he didn't know what to do either.

"Can we get a restraining order or something? I knew this was too good to last, I knew that arsehole would just pop up like a bad smell the second I relaxed. I should have known, I knew the second the press got involved that he'd turn up to cause trouble. Honestly, I'm surprised it took him this long."

"Sel, he didn't contact us," John continued, knowing that the only way to get her attention was to power through, it was the only thing that would stop a Selene rant when she was on a roll. There could be no gently easing her into this as he had hoped. He'd wanted to explain, he'd wanted to tell her their reasons but she'd reacted worse than he had expected.

His words did the trick. She ground to a halt, the start of another rant caught in her throat. She was so confused. If he hadn't made the first move that meant-

"You approached him?" No, that couldn't be right. She held her breath, shaking her head silently, wanting them to deny it, wanting them to say she was wrong.

"We're so sorry-"

She slammed her hands down on the desktop, making them both jump and the contents rattle with the force.

"Why?" she whispered, her voice deadly quiet. Why would they do that? The two people she trusted most in the world?

"Sel, I had to, I had to know-"

"Had to know what? If I was lying to you? If I was making it all up?"

"No! We'd never think that," John assured her, but she was deaf to that now.

She knew how it could be. She'd been there. Being frozen out by the couple friends they had shared together, hearing people whispering about her behind her back, whispers that would stop whenever she was around. She heard it all, that Nathaniel had dumped her because she was too weird, because she had pushed him too far. They all believed him, believed that she had dumped him because she was now pagan and that's what pagans did. They all slept around, they had naked orgies in the woods. She couldn't be trusted when they were together, she had been overly friendly then, what would she be like now that she didn't have Nathaniel to rein her in? She'd steal all their partners without a thought.

She'd tried to tell them, tried to tell her side of the story and let them know just what kind of person Nathaniel was. She'd tried to tell them that she'd done her best, she'd tried to follow all his rules and tried to keep that part of herself separate, but nothing she had done had ever been good enough. She'd known for probably the last year of their relationship that how he was treating her was not right, but she had tried, she had tried so hard to be the partner he wanted rather than the one she actually was.

She'd put up with all his moods, with his constant put downs and over analysing of her behaviour, she'd put up with him treating her as if she were a second class citizen, as if her feelings didn't matter at all. She'd known that she shouldn't have had to be the one making all the effort, a relationship should be equal parts give and take, yet he'd been doing all the taking while she had kept giving and giving in the hopes that one day it would be enough for him.

But they didn't care, they didn't want to think about the fact that someone in their friendship circle had been abused right under their noses, that they had witnessed it first hand and done nothing about it. They hadn't stepped up or supported her in any way and then,the second that they could no longer feign ignorance and pretend that they were all happy couples they had turned on her. She had been ejected from their circle as if she were nothing.

They knew the truth, but they had chosen not to believe her. They had chosen to stick with him. They had waved goodbye to her without a backwards glance.

She knew what it was like to not be believed, to have someone constantly feel the need to check for himself, to come to his own conclusions of a situation, to have her opinion not matter. She knew what it felt like to be invalidated. She just never thought they would do the same.

She needed to move, she needed to be free of this chair and this desk and all the tiny little trinkets that Scott had arranged on it just so. She shoved the chair back, uncaring that it skidded backwards to smack against the bookcase behind the desk. She was on her feet in an instant, moving to the center of the small room, needing to pace, needing to work off some of her nervous, angry energy.

"Why?" she asked again. "I need to know, if it's not because you didn't believe me, why did you track him down?"

"I just...I had to," John said. He looked as broken as she felt, like his whole world was caving in but, as much as it hurt her to see, she couldn't bring herself to focus on him right now.

"Why? What possible reason could you have to do that?"

"I had to see the man that hurt you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my wife!" John exploded, leaving his seat in one flowing move. One second he was sitting, the next he was standing there, facing her.

And damn it, she flinched and stepped back. She backed away and he saw it. She stopped herself almost straight away, she gathered that core of strength she had fought so hard to forge but he saw it and he hated that he had been the one to make her do it. She'd never backed down from him or any of them before, hell, he'd never seen her back down from anyone. Not people at a danger zone, not people in the street, no one. She was strong, she was fierce and dammit she was his. And he hated that she was seeing him the same way she did Nathaniel.

"Because I'm your wife? Like I'm your property?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously, daring him to say something.

"No, of course not. It wasn't anything to do with that," he promised her, taking a step towards her, sighing in relief when she didn't move, keeping her feet planted where they were. He'd never be able to live with himself if he'd seen that split second of fear in her eyes again.

"Then pray tell me what it was to do with, because I'm failing to see what possible reason you would have to hunt down my ex if it wasn't some macho bullshit reason. You," she speared Scott with the same look. "You went along with this? So maybe you feel like getting chatty, hm?"

Scott, for once in his life, had stayed quiet, not wanting to get involved but now it seemed like she was determined to drag him into it.

"We didn't do it because you're ours," he started but shut up when he saw the way her lips thinned, a sure sign that she was about to explode.

"Please, just sit down and let me explain," John tried again. Her lips thinned even more. "Or stay standing, I'm not trying to tell you what to do," he hurried on.

"You sit down," she ordered and he did exactly as he was told. "Now, explain. Explain why you decided to bring the worst person possible into our lives. Explain to me your reasoning, Mr Logical, of just why the man that treated me like shit for three years is now a part of my life again when I thought that I had finally, FINALLY, wiped him from my memory as best I could. Tell me why the things that I had been fighting against are now back front and center in my mind because you thought the best thing to do with the information I trusted you with was to run straight to this doofus," she pointed at Scott, "and tell him everything so the two of you could go on some vigilante mission like you're fucking Batman and Robin!"

"Can you please just let me talk without interrupting me?" John asked, knowing he was probably pushing his luck but needing to know that he had the chance to say everything on his mind.

She folded her arms defensively but nodded, staring him down. She needed to know why he had done what he had and she knew him well enough to know that he'd need a clear space to talk. John rarely fought for time to talk, he just expected people to listen, he'd say his piece and move on. He was used to people needing to listen to what he had to say and he liked to take the time to order his thoughts and make sure he was saying things the right way. So she would give him the opportunity.

"When you told me what he did to you, I wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and make him pay."

She snorted but kept her mouth shut, motioning for him to continue. Honestly, if someone had told her the same she would have wanted to dive in and avenge them, she'd reacted just the same with Ridley. But the difference there was that she respected John enough to know that he was handling things in his own way, on his own terms. It was something that had happened before she was in his life, just as Nathaniel had and therefore it wasn't her place to fight his battles for him. She just wished he'd seen things the same way she did.

"And I admit, I did call EOS and asked her to find him, but she couldn't."

One of Selene's eyebrows rose but she stayed silent as promised. That was surprising, there wasn't anything or anyone that he couldn't find when he put that big brain of his into use. Nathaniel had never been the smartest cookie in the jar, forward planning was not his forte. He was more of the attack first and ask questions later type of person. He didn't have the skills or the resources to hide himself from the combined power of John and EOS, they should have found him in seconds.

"I told Scott because I needed someone to talk to about it, I know it wasn't my place and I wasn't the one to have gone through it," he continued when he saw her open her mouth to interrupt. She closed it again, slightly mollified, and he continued. "It broke my heart to see you like that, to see you doubting me and what we have because of the experiences you had with him. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and the thought of what he'd done to you made me want to kill him. But it also made me scared for others, because you are so strong, one of the strongest people I've ever met, and they wouldn't be. You didn't let him define you, you stayed true to yourself and you fought back with every fiber of your being. I couldn't stand the thought of him doing the same thing to someone that might not have the strength that you do. All I wanted to do was keep an eye on him, to make sure that he wasn't doing the same thing to someone else. Can you understand that?"

He held his breath, waiting for her answer. Finally, she nodded, just a small one, but it was enough. Yes, she could understand that, because she'd done the same herself. She'd warned everyone in their friendship circle, begging them to listen to her and look out for anyone else Nathaniel brought in, but they hadn't listened, they hadn't wanted to know.

"You said EOS couldn't find him?" EOS was even more tenacious than John, which was saying something. For her to not find something or someone…they might as well not exist. They would have better luck searching for the Loch Ness Monster.

"No, neither of us could."

"Yet clearly you did. How?"

"I put it aside, I left EOS searching so I could concentrate on what was important, marrying you and taking you away on the honeymoon we deserved. All I wanted was to forget what you had told me and be with you."

She was softening, he could tell. Her hands had lost their deathgrip on her arms and her posture was less hostile. How long that would last, he didn't know, but he had to tell her everything, he couldn't hide anything else from her.

"By the time we got back EOS still hadn't found him, but she'd dug up enough from his history to make me very concerned. He has a criminal record longer than Parker's, Sel, dating back to before you were even together, some of them when he was still a minor. Did you know any of that?"

"What kind of things?" She'd heard rumours, heard some of his drunken stories while he had stayed up late with his friends, but she'd put it down to exaggeration and his need to appear as more of a bad boy than he actually was.

"Assault, burglary, abuse and assault of a minor, his sister, drug possession with the intent to sell, theft of an automobile and a restraining order against him from a woman named Carly, as well as numerous police reports from others before and after you were together," John rattled off, watching her shrink before his eyes as the full horror of just what she had escaped hit her.

Selene had heard of Carly, Nathaniel's apparently psychotic ex who had stalked him and made up lies about him in order to punish him for leaving her, even going so far as to attack him one night while she was drunk. Obviously that had been another of his lies.

"After you kicked him out he was arrested five times in as many months but was never charged, and his face and name came up all over private online groups related to protecting women. He had a pattern, Sel, he'd find a woman and he'd gain their trust before moving in and taking over their life, you were with him the longest."

She shuddered, suddenly feeling cold to the bone. How could she possibly have loved such a monster? She knew he was bad, knew he'd treated her appallingly, but she hadn't dreamed he would have gone that far. How could she have put up with it for so long? Been so stupid? The others seemed to have gotten wise to him a lot quicker than she had, but she'd been so determined to make it work, to not give up.

"The warning posts did their job, it seems that he had trouble finding his next victim, because he went quiet for over a year, moving from London to Newcastle where he returned to his previous activities. He beat up a man outside a bar when the man confronted him for selling Cocaine to his younger brother who had ended up in hospital. The man went to the police but there weren't enough witnesses to prove that Nathaniel had been there, even though the man named him. Nathaniel had an alibi, a woman by the name of Tracy, who said he was with her. He must have gotten over confident because the next person he attacked -again at a bar, this time because Natahniel hit on his girlfriend- had friends with him. Nathaniel was arrested and again it was thrown out due to lack of evidence when Nathaniel claimed self defence as he came out of the encounter worse than the man."

Selene had visibly wilted the more he spoke, plopping down on the edge of Scott's desk as if she didn't trust her legs to hold her up, her face registering the horror she felt. John didn't want to push her but she needed to know the full extent of Nathaniel's history.

"Four months later he was caught during an armed robbery that went wrong, leaving a security guard in a coma. This time he went to court and it looked like he would never be walking out of there. The prosecution brought up all of his past crimes, his extensive history and had several witnesses. It seemed like a cut and dried case, but somehow, and we still don't know how, his lawyer managed to get him off. He was given a suspended sentence and community service, the lightest punishment that could be given. His lawyer pleaded for him, weaving a tale of an unstable homelife, past traumas and drug dependency along with falling into a bad crowd and peer pressure. He made him sound like the victim and the judge either bought it or was paid off. But either way, Nathaniel walked free and as soon as his community service was completed he vanished."

"He vanished?" Selene blinked, her head spinning with all the new information John had just laid out in front of her. She'd known that Natahniel wasn't the most law abiding person in the world, but the few things he had admitted to had been minor juvenile offences that he had blamed on his parents. She had felt sorry for him, she had believed him when he had said that he was sorry and that it was all behind him. How wrong she had been.

"Assumed a new identity and left the country, there was no digital trail at all but Penelope managed to find a-"

"Wait, wait a second," Selene held up a hand for silence. "Penelope knows?"

"Yeah, we needed her help after Kayo failed to…" Scott trailed off when Selene stood up, her eyes blazing. John shot him a glare, his brother was not helping at all.

"Kayo too? So, who else knows? Who else knows just how much I fucked up? Who else knows that I allowed someone to treat me that way? Does Grandma want to throw her hat in the ring? Is Alan going to get involved too? What about Jeff, he knows people, let's just throw a party and tell the world!"

"Sel, please, cal-" Scott started, worried about her reaction.

"I swear by all that I hold holy if you so much as dare to even think about finishing that sentence and telling me to calm down I will rip you a new arsehole," Selene growled. "That's it, I'm done, I'm out, I can't listen to this anymore."

"What?" John jumped up, making a grab for her hand. "Sel, you said you understood, you said-"

"Yes, I said I understood why you felt the need to make sure that no one else got hurt by him, I get that, I understand you and your families need to save everyone, I won't even call it a hero complex as much as I want to, because I get it. What I don't get and what I just can't get my head around is the fact that you took my story, something that is private to me, something that I told you only because I was vulnerable and scared, and you decided to share that information with others."

She shook his hand off, crossing her arms tightly, hugging herself because once again she was left feeling weak and pathetic because of something that was directly linked to Nathaniel. If he continued to touch her she'd weaken, she could barely look him in the eyes, she didn't want to see the pain of rejection there. She'd never pulled away from him before and it hurt that she had to do it now.

"You decided to act for me, you didn't give me a choice. You went off on your own with this idiot and you didn't say a word about it. That was my story to tell, not yours."

"I know," he admitted quietly. "I know, and I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I knew that as soon as we got there, we weren't planning on engaging, we weren't planning on confronting him or anything like that, we just wanted to make sure we had the right person so we could put some safeguards in place. That's all."

"Then why didn't you tell me before? Why didn't you ask me to help?" her voice wobbled and she cleared her throat, biting her lip to halt the prickle of tears she felt stinging the back of her eyes. "Did my feelings not factor into your plan at all?"

"Of course they did, but I wanted to spare you all of this. I didn't want you to be reminded of him any more than you had. I was trying to protect you." His eyes begged her to believe him and she wanted nothing more than to move closer to him, to let him wrap his arms around her and hug her until all this fresh pain went away. Because she did believe him, she did trust him, more than anything. She knew he loved her, knew that he was just doing what he thought had been best. But one thing was niggling at her.

"I do understand that," she whispered, "I know that you'd never keep me in the dark about something in a bid to control me or to make decisions for me."

"Never for that reason," he promised, relaxing slightly now that she had calmed down, the fire fading from her eyes. "I just didn't want you hurt any more."

"But I have to ask something," she continued, "and I expect an honest answer."

"I'm always honest with you, I'd never lie to you." She knew he was being sincere, she could feel it, that connection that they had always had was stronger since they had bonded and now, in times like this, times with high emotion, it was like standing in front of a loudspeaker.

"If you weren't going to engage with him, and you weren't going to tell me because you wanted to protect me, why are you telling me now?"

Scott sucked in a breath, settling back against the couch he sat on as if he planned on diving behind it any second, like that would offer him any protection.

John winced, closing his eyes briefly. He should have known that she'd figure it out, she was far too smart for her own good sometimes.

"He's managing a bistro in Malta," he started.

"We went there on holiday once," she said, her tone emotionless, like she had shut down again. "He was moody for the first half of the trip before he took himself off into town on his own, he came back late that night, smelling of beer and perfume. It wasn't the first time he'd cheated on me but he hadn't been that blatant before. But at least it meant he stopped pushing me for it and his mood improved so I just let it go."

John scowled, not knowing what to say. How did you reply to something like that? Hearing someone you cared about talking so bluntly about something so personal to her, admitting that she knew she'd been cheated on, that she'd been pushed into something no one should ever be and to sound like she was discussing the weather. In the end he let it go, just as she was, unwilling to make her talk about something she obviously didn't want to, especially with his brother there.

Scott, for his part, was staring at her open mouthed, like he was seeing her for the first time, not recognising his feisty best friend. He'd known what had happened to her, had heard John talk about how scared she had been while admitting it, how vulnerable, but he truly hadn't understood it until this minute. Until he saw her talking as if she had deserved nothing better, like she had brought it upon herself.

"Why are you telling me now?" she repeated and Scott felt like he had to help, she had to understand that they had done it for her.

"We were leaving, without seeing him, we didn't want to be there. We wanted to come back here and just forget it all, to leave it in the past as you had wanted to. John didn't want to make a decision for you."

"I appreciate that, thank you for thinking of me and my feelings," she tried to keep her tone sincere, because it was, she did appreciate it. When they had first started talking she had been so angry, but also so upset. The thought of John being in any way similar to Nathaniel had scared her more than anything else ever had and she was glad that even in this he was continuing to prove to her that he wasn't.

"But then, on my way back from the bathroom I heard someone shouting at our waitress, I interrupted them, but it wasn't until John came over and he heard the waitress calling the man Chris that he realised who it was. Things were said, things that weren't very nice about us and…"

"And about me?" she guessed. She knew Nathaniel, she knew how he reacted when challenged or cornered.

Scott nodded, looking uncomfortable.

"What happened?" she demanded to know. She knew Scott, she knew what his temper could be like when he was standing up for his family. "What did you do?"

"It wasn't me," he said quietly.

There was her raised eyebrow again as she turned to look at her husband. Her usually calm and collected husband, the husband that firmly believed that violence was never the answer. John's eyes flicked down briefly and hers followed, seeing the reddened, scuffed knuckles of his right hand.

"Oh, you didn't," she groaned, dropping her head into her hands. "John…"

"You didn't hear the things he was saying," John's voice was cold, holding none of the warmth it usually did.

"I doubt he said anything to you that he hasn't said to me already, believe me," she said in the same tone as before, one that spoke of resignation and much experience, like she was desensitised to it now. "And, knowing Nathaniel, I'm going to assume that he wasn't happy with that little fist meet face and threatened you?"

"Got it in one," Scott sighed.

"And, since we're not normal people, this probably means that it'll be all over the internet soon."

"There were other people in the restaurant and we think some did take pictures," Scott admitted. "EOS is already on the case, she's tracked down everyone that was in the restaurant and hacked their phones and cloud storage to delete the pictures, and she made sure that none had been posted online yet."

"Well, that's something I guess," she huffed. "But that won't stop him, he won't let this go without a fight. He'll try everything he can to use this to his advantage. You should expect a demanding email very soon for some outrageous sum of money to ensure his silence or he'll threaten legal action. He thinks he knows the law inside and out and has always used it to his advantage."

"No," John promised her. "He wouldn't dare, he knows that he wouldn't win against us or our legal team, he wouldn't risk his new life there. He'll leave us alone, he'll leave you alone. I promise you he won't hurt you again."

"You can't promise that," she said sadly, "you don't know him like I do. He won't just fade into the background, he won't just go away. Not now, he'll find out who you are, it's not hard, he only has to look me up online. He won't give up until he's made our lives a misery."

"I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am," John held out his hand, wanting nothing more than to pull her close and show her just how much he loved her.

"I know," she sighed, but she made no move to come closer to him, no matter how much her instincts screamed at her to do so. She wanted to comfort him, she wanted to support him, but she couldn't, not yet. "But, no matter how unintentional it was, you've still brought him back into my life, into our life. I thought I was safe from him-"

"You are safe from him," Scott assured her, jumping in before John could. "We'd never let him hurt you again."

"I thought I was free of him, I thought I was strong enough to deal with the memories and to move on, I had moved on. He had no part in our relationship, he wasn't casting a shadow over us like he had with others because you were so different from him, we were so different."

"We are still different," John promised. "You know we are."

"I know."

"Please forgive me."

"I do," she promised him. "But I need some time."

"Please don't be mad at him, Sel," Scott begged. "You know why we did it."

"I know, and I'm not mad."

"Then why do you need time?"

"I'm not angry, I'm hurt, and that's not as easy for me to forget. Forgiving is easy, forgetting isn't. I need some time to think things over."

"Of course, we can go up to Five for a few days and-" John paused when he caught sight of the look on her face, a look that honestly scared him. He wasn't used to feeling emotions like she was, he had no real range of experience with it. Since their accidental bonding all he'd felt from her had been positive, love and happiness, relaxation and simple contentment at them being together. What he was feeling now was hurt.

"No, I need to think, on my own, away from here."

He felt her pulling away from him both physically and emotionally, he felt her fade away from his awareness as she shut him out. And he hated it, hated that he had been the one to do that to her. One thing he had always been able to count on in their relationship was her willingness to talk everything through, to be open and honest with him. And now, for the first time, she wasn't.

"Away from me you mean," his voice was low, almost broken but she couldn't allow herself to weaken.

"For now, yes."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, putting everything he had into those two words, willing her to feel just how much he meant them. "I love you so much."

"I know, and I love you."

"Please don't go, talk to me?" he reached for her but made no attempt to stop her when she avoided him. He made no attempt to stop her when she quietly shut the door behind her.

He let her go when his comm announced that her car had left the Island five minutes later. He let her go because he loved her and he knew that he had fucked up. He let her go because he knew that all he could do was wait.

-x-

Selene broke down somewhere over the Indian Ocean, her car on autopilot, taking her homeward to her quiet little flat where she could be alone. She needed the time to gather her thoughts, to not be surrounded by people, to not be near John.

The whole time he had been talking she could feel his anxiety, she could feel the fear of rejection that pounded through him, rejection she couldn't help but make a reality. She could feel how much he was hurting and that in turn had hurt her. She didn't want to blame him, she didn't want to look at him and see what her words were doing to him.

She wanted to talk to him, she wanted to soothe him and promise him that everything would be alright, the same way he had promised her. But she couldn't, not yet. If she had stayed she would have been too concerned with his welfare and, much as it hurt, if Nathaniel had taught her anything it was when to put herself first, when to be selfish. And now was one of those times.

She had to get things straight in her head before she could explain them to John and make him understand. And to do that she needed to not be with him, no matter how much that hurt them both.

She'd calmed as she had flown over Saudi Arabia and her tears had stopped as Italy had passed beneath her. She'd landed on the same rooftop carpark as she always did and drove the rest of the way to her flat, parking in her designated spot and shutting off the engine.

Her comm had remained silent, as had her phone and for that she was grateful, although she knew that he would have been following her journey, he always did, knowing she was still a nervous flyer even after more than two years of repeated journeys. He knew that it comforted her to know he was there, just on the other end of the comm, ready to help if she needed him. He was always there, he always had been.

She let herself into the flat with a simple touch of her palm to the lock he had installed. She couldn't think of it as just her flat now, it was theirs, just as his room on the island was hers too. They were a package deal and he'd managed to fit himself seamlessly into her life just as she had his without making her feel crowded or like he was pushing himself on her. Which was why his actions with Nathaniel had hurt so much.

She was about to shut the door when she heard it, the sound making her pause. Had they left the TV on? If so their electricity bill was going to be sky high that month, they hadn't been back in over a week. She reached for the door again when the sound of laughter floated towards her from the living room.

There was someone in there.

Blind panic hit her as she groped about for a weapon of some kind, her hand curling around the handle of her broom that lived by the front door. Sure, it was unconventional, but it would do.

Lifting it high above her head she kicked the living room door open, brandishing her weapon threateningly as she let loose her best amazon warrior battle cry.

"What the hell!" an all too familiar voice screamed.

She blinked, slowly lowering the broom as she took in the unexpect sight of Gordon, seated on her couch in nothing but his boxers. His feet had fallen from where they had obviously been propped up on her coffee table.

"What are you doing here?" she yelped, dropping her broom to clutch at her heart which was hammering like she had just run a marathon.

Gordon stared at her for a moment before he shrugged, flopping back against the couch, his left foot returning to its place on the table, the right pushing a large pizza box in her direction.

"Sup?" he greeted her as if it were an everyday occurrence." Pizza?"