Crystal Hearts
We can grow only once in our lives. As our love crystallizes and grows, so, too, do our hearts…they are a manifestation of our love. In time, they are given over to the one who inspired them…who wished them happiness. You at least…I wish you happiness…
Chapter 13: Believe Me
It feels like I'm drowning, drowning in air. Flying without wings, is this what dying feels like? But it doesn't feel free, my spirit's still trapped here, doushite? There is and was no freedom in my life…the pain of the past still haunts me…knowing the truth didn't heal it. Broken, that's what I am, a porcelain doll, shattered at the impact of hitting the ground, even if fixed, it'll looked scarred and ugly forever…is this what it feels like to be fading away from the world? Away from you?
It hurts.
The golden entity let out an inaudible whimper and curled up in his host's mind. Desperately wanting something to hold onto and not let go, it only hurt him more knowing that the object he wanted to hold was the very object that caused him pain. And while realizing that, he unconscious found himself curling up even more, trying to shrink away in size so that no one would be able to find him. Feeling his host call to him only made him shrink away more, he wished to be isolated and was going to use every mean to do so. Using his weakened magic, he managed to hold up a shield against his host, he could feel his magic draining away, but he didn't care. After that night's revelation, he found that nothing was really worth caring about anymore.
He hated himself for being such a coward, for not finding the courage to say anything instead of hiding there letting the rest of the little time he had left waste away. But again, he was uncaring of the fact; it wasn't like he could see what was going on around the world even if he wasn't dying. He had been rendered useless, helpless, like a newborn kitten, claws unsharpened, eyes unseeing, unable to defend itself. His host called again, telling him how miserable he was making everyone. Adding onto the guilt.
It's not like he really wants to see me…he wants to see the girl…The hunter had given up on trying to become someone else for the thief, it had never worked and never will. He will never love me for me…it's not even me he loves. His shield had lowered a bit due to lack of magic. There was no resistance when exhaustion overcame him forcing him into a deep slumber, maybe if I wake up, this will all simply be a dream…maybe we'd still be in Black Wings and none of this ever happened…he let his eyelids droop, I only wish.
Satoshi sighed, Krad had completely resisted him, refusing to answer or to show up at all. Something had happened, the blonde wouldn't say what, wouldn't talk, wouldn't appear. The thief in front of him kept pacing around wondering if he was at fault despite all his reassurance spoken out of annoyance. But then again, maybe the thief was at fault, neither of them knew why. "He's not answering or anything."
"Why? What did I do this time?" Dark continued pacing.
"I don't know, it might not even be you! It might be someone else!"
The thief stopped and stared at him wide eyed, "You don't mean-"
"No I don't mean he's found someone else! Maybe someone else made him upset!"
"But who?"
"Stop asking me questions I can't answer!"
Dark sighed, desperately trying to remember anything that might've caused the blonde sorrow. Aside from the dream, there was nothing he could think of. Crap…don't tell me he found out… "I have to check on something, I'll be right back."
And with that, the thief flew off. Satoshi inwardly growled at the unwanted departure. Meanwhile, he looked back into his mind and found the hunter asleep, curled up with his collar bone exposed. He sighed dejectedly, he was going to have a hard time explaining this one to Dark.
The thief flew all the way back to the Niwa household and headed for his vault, his safe, the very place where he kept all his precious items. No one had access to it but him, right? Upon opening it, he dug through dusty pieces of untouched artwork but much to his distress, there was one piece missing, it's gone…
He purred, the doubt and insecurity of his prey was much too humorous to let go of. "So…the hunter is now being hunted…" He stroked the golden entity's hair, the hunter shifted and curled up more away from the touch. He smiled, "Don't worry kitten, it won't be long now, it won't be long until I take you away from the thief, then you'll be all mine. You'd like that wouldn't you kitten?"
When he flew back, Satoshi looked at him solemnly, he gulped wondering what had happened, did the blue haired boy find out why the blonde was upset? Was it his fault yet again? "The curse…it's fading away, half of it's gone already."
The words sank in slowly and painfully. Dark didn't want to hear it but had already heard it. His throat tightened and went dry, "W-what?"
"He's beginning to fade just like the curse."
Inside, he was screaming while on the outside, he simply remained speechless, he couldn't imagine a world without Krad, how would he be able tot survive it? There had never been a time, a moment when he was in the world while his other half was not. Except for that time when Krad had given his crystal heart to him, even then he couldn't bear it, it hurt too much. "That…that can't be right…"
"Dark?"
He shook his head in denial, his mind was in turmoil, "He can't be fading! He can't!"
"But he is and if you don't pull yourself together he will fade away completely!" Satoshi retorted icily.
The thief was silenced, eyes wide, staring at him in disbelief. "No…I can't live in a world without him…he's my life. I wouldn't be able to survive a day knowing he's gone! I need him…I…I love him too much to let him go! How can you even mention him fading away!.?"
Blue eyes softened, he never really knew the thief could feel so strongly about anything, "It's not too late, come on, let's get back to work. I'll let you two discuss this when Krad's awake. As for now…let's just do what we can to help him…" Dark nodded sadly and headed off.
The hunter awoke to a warm sensation, had something happened? He tried to ignore it but the waves of solace kept brushing lightly against him. Finally, his curiosity won over and he decided to find out what happened. His host was fist to great him, (I see you're awake.)
((What happened?))
(Not much. But something tells me the better question is what happened to you and Dark? I'd ask him but he seems just as clueless, so, mind filling me in?)
((Nothing happened.))
(But I'm sensing doubt, it's written all over you Krad, there's not point in lying to me.) The blonde looked down guiltily, (Ne, if you had seen the look on his face or heard the words he spoke simply at the thought of losing you. I think, all the doubt in your mind would've disappeared like mine did.)
((What…did he say?))
(I think you'll have to get him to repeat it for you, but I can tell you this, the look on his face was one of sheer devastation.)
((Surely you're mistaken.))
(Oh? And why? Why would you think that way? Why is it is so hard for you to accept the fact that he loves you more than anything in the world?)
He bit back on saying because I'm not, ((How can you be so sure that I mean so much to him? How can you say it without doubt?))
Satoshi sighed, (Your mind is clouded with doubt, maybe if you were there you would understand what I'm talking about. But since we can't do that, go talk to him, maybe it'll help you understand.)
((But-))
(Go.) Then he pushed the blonde out, (He's in the library, he's been there all morning.)
How? How did he get a hold of it? How could I let this happen?
#Dark? What's wrong?#
/Nothing Daisuke./ He continued flipping through the book while conversing with his tamer. Then he heard footsteps, soft uncertain footsteps. /It's Krad…/ The redhead didn't answer. He watched the blonde step in, then he noticed something that bothered him, a lot.
"Krad, why aren't your wounds closing?"
The blonde stopped by him, he looked over wearily, "My magic's been drained."
The thief's brows furrowed when he saw the fading curse mark, "Then it's true you're…"
"I know I'm fading Dark, I can feel it. It's like my body's leaving my spirit behind or something."
A second later he found a pair of arms wrapped around him in a protective way from behind, "Don't talk like that, I can't stand the mere thought of losing you. So please…don't talk like you're really going…we'll find a way to stop it I swear, isn't there any way for me to transfer my magic into you?"
Golden eyes widened, "No! Dark…it wouldn't work, why can't you just leave me to-"
"I already told you I wasn't going to leave you! I'll never leave you! Not for anything!"
"Really?" Dark blinked, "Do you really mean that? You wouldn't leave me for anything?"
"Yes, I mean it." The thief sighed and tightened his hold. Krad looked down, liar. "You mean the world to me Krad. Nothing can replace you."
Maybe if I pretend its true, we'd both be happier…happy with living a lie… "Dark…"
"Gods if I could take your place I would…"
Krad frowned, "Don't you know? God is dead, dead to the world, dead to all our pleas and prayers, and now we know the truth, there is no god."
"Really? Is that what you really think Krad?" He took the cross that'd been tied to the end of his ponytail, "If there was no god then why do we still believe? Why do we still put hope into things we know will never come true, why are we here?"
"The Hikari aren't gods."
"But was it not god who granted them magic?"
The blonde blinked, "You've been reading too much, all this nonsense is getting into your brain."
Dark frowned, "The only nonsense I'm hearing is you talking about death like it's just a walk in the park."
"I'm simply speaking the truth!"
"And so was I when I told you just how much I loved you yet you didn't seem to believe it! Not a single word of it!" The blonde opened his mouth but then closed it, "I don't understand Krad, what did I do this time? Just tell me, talk to me, please, I won't deny my faults."
His mind clouded with guilt, "It's not your fault…it's mine."
"And what could you've possibly done wrong?"
"I've been telling myself…" He took a shuddering breath, "I've been denying everything you've said to me, it's like a voice in my head is telling me that you're lying to me, I wanted to believe the voice too," Violet eyes widened, "I wanted to believe it because if it wasn't true then I'd have a reason to stay, and either way, I wouldn't be able to do so. So I just kept telling myself there'd be no one who'd keep me back, making me want to stay…missing me…"
"I would've!"
"I know…" He replied guiltily, he felt like crying, his words were getting choked up, "I'm sorry Dark…I knew but…am I only first because she's gone?"
Dark's eyes widened, "No! How can you think that? Do you really doubt me that much?"
"Dark? ...I'm sorry..."
"Shh…" The thief hugged him closely, "It's okay, you'll always be first to me. No one could be more important to me than you. I wouldn't be able to survive without you, knowing that you're gone. I love you too much to let you go…"
"Dark…"
The thief shushed him again, "I love you Krad…"
The words were spoken with such sincerity that the hunter couldn't deny it as the truth, the doubt in his mind laid forgotten as he turned and buried his head into Dark's chest and wept while the thief stroked his hair, whispering loving words to the blonde. Not noticing the tears that were coming from his own eyes.
When the thief looked over and saw the collarbone of his lover, his sorrow reappeared at seeing how faded out the curse was. It was as though it was mocking him, slowly counting the days the blonde had left. The worse part was the not knowing, he didn't know what was going to happen after. He wouldn't mind joining the hunter in disappearing, at least they'd be together, actually, he'd prefer it that way. Dark bit his lip, he'd do anything to stay with the blonde, fate really had a horrible sense of humor.
Apparently Krad had noticed his sudden moment of silence and looked up, "Dark?"
"I love you, believe me, I love you so much Krad." The thief tightly embraced the blonde repeating himself over and over again, Krad just stood there in the embrace.
"…I believe you…." But Dark continued babbling like an idiot not wanting to let go of the blonde, ever. As thought trying to convince himself that the curse could be stopped by words. True, honest words that he should've been repeating for a long time.
"Daisuke?"
"Satoshi-kun." The redhead replied with a nod.
"What do you think will happen now? I mean with Krad's curse and all."
"I don't know…but I really hope it'll work out for the best…Dark can't live without Krad…" Just like I can't live without you… "Don't worry Satoshi-kun, I'm sure it'll be alright."
That's jut like you isn't it? Always positive, hoping for the best, doing you best to help and care for others. That's what I like about you… "I hope you're right…"
Daisuke gave him a serene smile, "I do too, I think everyone's hoping for that right now…especially Dark…"
Satoshi didn't go to school the next day, both the redhead and the thief were wondering what had happened to the blue haired boy. Once again, Daisuke had volunteered to deliver Satoshi's homework. /Do you think they're alright?./
#Why wouldn't they be?#
/I don't know, but do you think they're alright?./
#Sure, like I said, why wouldn't they be. Satoshi-kun probably slept in from researching so much.#
The thief continued chewing on his lower lip.
When they reached the house, all the lights were off like they usually were, Daisuke had rung the doorbell. After awhile, Satoshi opened it and poked his head though the opening, "Daisuke…"
"Hello Satoshi-kun, I brought your homework."
"Thank you…"
"Satoshi-kun? Are you alright? You look worn out…"
"I'm fine…"
Daisuke stepped inside the house, the blue haired boy was swaying slightly. "Satoshi-kun?" Then his friend fell and transformed into the blonde, "Satoshi-kun!"
/Krad!./
The thief took over without a second thought and kneeled by the blonde who was clutching the base of his neck, hissing in pain. "Krad!" The blonde didn't respond, a bead of sweat rolled down his face which flickered much to Dark's horror. Violet eyes couldn't believe the sight before him, Krad…Krad was fading…
Nya
Yes! I finally updated! After much hardwork and brain implosions because of school I found the time to update! XD Rejoice rejoice...I'm deprived from my fics...yea..hope you all enjoy :D Meanwhile, I have toget anonimoose to post up her yu-gi-oh fic X.X
Hakudoshi-chan- I was kind of stumped on the title since I kept on skipping around trying out different ones XP Poor poor Krad and Dark...there's just no such thing as a smooth road is there:P
Anukis-san- Most of my characters have OOCness to them for one reason or another :P Wow...come to think of it...I haven't watched Naruto in the longest time...yea...sorry for the slow update but yea...school slaps like a female dog...
dimonyo-anghel- Yea! Only Aku's sorta special (my creation) and it does pretty well for the plot XP You'll find out how and why he can read Kraddy-kin's mind later :) Yakusoku!
Daishi- Rika is Riku and Risa's grandmother although I have to admit...it's very confuzzling isn't it? Their names are pretty much the same, this story's partly original, aside from the characters or at least the real characters other wise it's the insanity on my part XP
WolfBane2- Well Krad was in real life while Dark was in a dream sequence since he's not blind...it's amazing how easily tricked Krad is when he's sightless...not that I blame him or anything...I think I would be too...
kittenoftime- Indeed...how do you know I won't kill Krad? o.O I can't really say anything for sure...I mean yea...how many time did I kill poor Kraddy-kins? Alot...and that's all I can say, but still...shall I kill him off? To kill Krad or not to kill Krad?
Socks-The-Kitsune- I love angst, where would we be without angst? XD I love Dark angst and Krad angst and angst and angst and more angst :P Angst and money make the world go round. XP
Umi-chii- Sorry! I couldn't update! School's more evil than me! Evil I say! Yea! Go kill those monsters :D Aku spices everything up in the fic XP That's why I think he's awesome...his sadistic-ness comes from me :)
General Kitty Girl- Interesting...probably true...fire, ice or complete isolation/silence...and if Dark were to rule the world...the world would be thrown off it's axis while Dai-chan rules it...we'd be living in la-la land...whoa...eerie...
ilovekyo- I'm sorry, yea...took awhile didn't it? I'll try to finish my schoolwork faster from now on...although I might procrastinate XP yea...I can't say anything for sure but I'll try!
Seena58- The car's broken down and the passengers are hitchhiking...that's life for you apparently XP Yup, and they'd be in alot...they're in alot of pain and agony...Krad's fading! XD -smiling when she shouldn't be-
Gabriel of Dreams-Yume Chan- Don't sue! Don't sue! XD I'll keep updating as fast as I can! You can sue the school board if you want to...just not me :) La dee da...another three weeks left...more cramming and such and such :S
icestar2007- Don't like Aku hm? Apparently his sadistic side comes from me :P And fear not! Krad's finally got the truth straightened out! I think...but what other roles does Aku play in this? o.O Hmmm...I'm not allowed to tell anyone XP
Les Scribbles- Nope but as they say...-thinking- ...all's fair in love and war :) I feel sorry for villains...have you ever noticed how they're always killed or turned into a "good guy" or put in jail whatever (punished in some way or another) it's not fair :( why can't they win?
Lillith- I'm glad it inspires you :) I love getting reviews from you XD You have no idea how inflated my ego it :P Who knows? I might end up a writer one day! Thanks again for reviewing!
akuma-river- Wow...I'm good at creating evil super...evil villains aren't I? When they're truly evil...people wanna kill them XP Maybe...I can't tell you what Aku is :P But yea...I don't think Aku's going anytime soon...or will he? XP