Disclaimer: Still don't own any of GA. Sad for me!

Chapter 2: Trying, or not

He knew it was unfair. Derek Shepherd, world renown neurosurgeon was more than astute enough to know that he was being unfair to Meredith by looking at her. Looking at her like she was more than an intern, which, to him, she was. Still, he was married and he had chosen his red-haired wife over Meredith, even after she had said "Pick me. Choose me. Love me." So Derek was well-aware that he was out-of-line, but he couldn't help himself. He just couldn't. Sometimes in life people do things they knew they shouldn't, because there's simply no way around it. It was like that for him with Meredith. He wanted to look at her like he looked at Christina Yang or Isobel Stevens, but it wasn't working. Derek sighed as he walked toward the nurses' station to pick up a chart for his patient.

"Hey," greeted Addison, coming up next to him.

"Hey," he replied with a brief smile. "Any good surgeries planned for today?"

"Well, I think I have a dilotic ospatosis at 11, and you know how much I love those!"

"Lucky you. I have a craniotomy, and then who knows. Maybe a hemispheric drainage later. We'll see."

"Sounds like a good day, Dr. Shepherd."

"It does, indeed, Dr. Shepherd. See you later?

"Yup." Addison kissed her husband on the cheek and headed off, just as Meredith turned the corner, right into him.

"Oh, um, hi, Dr. Shepherd."

"Dr. Grey," he said, his eyes glittering with amusement at her use of his formal title. He loved her even more when she was like this, trying to pretend that it wasn't there, that he really was just her boss. Ha. They both knew better. Besides, so did everyone else, even Addison. Or at least sometimes. "Anything interesting going on?"

"No, not really. Just running labs for Dr. Burke. Speaking of which, I need to go get them, so I guess I'll see you around." Meredith was particularly skittish this morning after the glances he had been giving her recently.

"Bye, Meredith," he called after her, shaking his head as he gathered both belongings and thoughts for the day ahead. His eyes followed her slender figure, much to the amusement of the nurses and interns around him. What could he do? He literally couldn't take his eyes off her, but at the same time, knew eleven years of marriage couldn't be abandoned in a moment. Derek Shepherd wasn't that time of man anyway, but damn if he just couldn't stop himself. He was trying, though, right?