Aftermath

by RkieFan

A filler for the events of that tragic restaurant shooting.

DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Spelling/Goldberg Productions and Columbia/Tri-Star Entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is the property of the author. This story includes dialogue from the episode 'A Matter of Justice' written by Hal Sitowitz.

TITLE: Aftermath

RATING: R for sexual content

AUTHOR: Cindy Second season, immediately after 'A Matter of Justice.'

SUMMARY: A filler of the events of that tragic restaurant shooting.

AUTHORS' NOTES: This is a reworking of one of the first stories I posted on in 2001. This was before I started using a beta reader and while it was a good story, I decided that shaping it up and getting it beta read could make it a great story.

Emotion wise, the second season episode 'A Matter of Justice' was great. It is probably the best of the Mike and Jill Danko episodes, but there was something for every fan in this story. While my main focus, of course, is going to be on the Danko's, particularly Jill and what she was going through, I'm going to try to cover everybody. This reworking is also going to be considerably longer than the original version.

Finally, I'd like to thank CTL for his help on the final scene. We wanted to make it steamy but romantic, at the same time and I'd like to think we succeeded. Thanks, Chuck!

STARTED: MAY 12, 2006

FINISHED: MAY 16, 2006

PART ONE: THE WAITING SEEMS ENDLESS

Mike Danko checked his watch for what seemed to be the thousandth time that evening. It was almost one in the morning. His wife, Jill, had been in surgery for almost three hours. He wondered what was taking so long. His right hand throbbed dully from where he'd slammed it into a wall a few hours before. Putting his hand through the wall had been a childish gesture, but one he'd done out of frustration.

This evening wasn't supposed to have ended like this, with him waiting on word on whether his wife lived or died. To him, a perfect ending to this evening would've been with him and Jill in bed making love. It had been their anniversary and Mike had wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. He felt that Jill deserved that much. Instead, the evening had ended with a crazed gunman, bloodshed and confusion. Mike glanced again at his watch as he continued to wonder why everything was taking so long. His mind went back to how happy they'd both been just eight hours earlier.

Mike walked into the apartment at a quarter to five with a dozen long-stemmed yellow roses hidden behind his back in case he ran into Jill. Jill was nowhere in sight, but he could hear the radio playing from their bedroom. He walked in and smiled as he saw her in front of the mirror smoothing down the front of a red dress that took his breath away. He pulled the roses from behind his back as he walked over and pulled her close with his other arm. "You smell wonderful," he murmured into her ear as he kissed her on the neck. "I believe that these are for you," he announced as he gave her the roses.

"Oh, sweetheart! They're beautiful," she breathed in their scent as Mike continued nibbling on her neck. "Mike, we have seven o'clock reservations. You need to get in the shower," she reminded him as she tried to ignore the sensations Mike was creating in her body.

"We could always order pizza," he protested as he came up for air.

"Mike, I didn't buy this dress so that we could stay in and order pizza. I want people to see this dress. I want to go out with you so that you can see me in this dress. I want to sit with you at our table and enjoy an evening alone without the possibility of being interrupted by Willie and Terry. Am I making sense?" She asked as he encircled his arms around her.

"Yeah, you're making sense," he smiled as he pulled her closer and kissed her. "I still think we should order pizza though."

"Put your motor on pause, tiger. We have all night," she promised as she once again pulled free and pointed him toward the shower.

"All night," Mike repeated bitterly to himself as he once again checked his watch. He was just about to start another round of pacing when he heard the elevator bell ding at the far end of the corridor. He looked down the hall and sighed as he saw the familiar face of Lt. Ryker walking toward him.

"Any word?" The lieutenant asked as he walked over and sat down.

"No, sir," Mike sighed as he glanced once again at his watch and began to pace.

"I understand that you got into a fight with a wall and lost," Ryker pointed out as he glanced toward Mike's bruised right hand.

"Yeah," Mike answered in a short voice.

"I take it that you want to be alone," Ryker guessed as Mike turned toward him and glared. "Okay, you don't have to draw me a picture. Just do me a favor and call me as soon as you hear anything," Ryker instructed as he got up and walked back toward the elevator.

Mike sighed and rubbed a hand across his weary eyes as he sat back down. He didn't want to talk to anybody. The only thing he wanted to do right now was see his wife and hold her and tell her that everything was going to be all right. He wanted to see those huge brown eyes and see that smile that she had only for him. He just wanted to know that he wasn't going to lose his whole life in one senseless incident. He didn't know if he could bear that. He'd had a chance to see her briefly earlier in the evening before they'd taken her up to surgery and it had almost broken his heart.

The doctor had allowed Mike to go in to see Jill as long as he didn't go in with the look on his face as if the world was going to come to an end. As it was, the doctor only allowed him about two minutes, which wasn't nearly enough time to say everything he wanted to say.

Jill was laying on the examining table barely conscious, but she was listening to every sound that came through the door. She knew that sooner or later she was going to hear the sound that she was waiting for. She knew that nothing or nobody was going to keep Mike from coming through that door. She was almost asleep when she finally heard his familiar footsteps on the tile floor leading to the examining room.

"Hi," Mike's voice was barely above a whisper as she opened her eyes and looked into eyes that were so pain-stricken that it hurt to look at them.

"Hi," she whispered back as she smiled a small smile to try to reassure him. "Don't let this get to you, Mike. I'll be all right."

"I know that," he choked out as he gently brushed her hair from her forehead.

"I love you," she whispered as she tried to keep from crying.

"I love you, too," he reached down to wipe away the tears that were slowly trickling down Jill's face.

"They're not going to let me keep these," she tugged at her rings and held them out to him. "So you keep them for me."

"Okay," he took her hand and kissed it before a nurse came in and told him that he had to leave.

Walking out of the trauma area, Mike walked over and punched his hand into the wall.

"What in the hell is taking so long?" Mike wondered as he once again looked at his watch.

Lt. Ryker had driven back to the precinct and walked into the muster room where Willie and Terry were busily working on their reports. "Why aren't you two at the hospital?" Ryker roared as both men looked up.

"We took statements from all of the witnesses. We can't talk to Jill until she's out of surgery and regains consciousness. The doctor's were still running all kinds of tests on the gunman, so we couldn't talk to him, either. So, we decided to come back here and get started on our reports," Terry explained as he looked over at Willie, who simply shrugged his response. "Is there any word on Jill, yet?"

"No and Danko has made it pretty clear that he wants to be left alone. I'm going to be in my office for 15 or 20 minutes, then I'm going to go back up to the hospital. When you finish here, I want both of you back at the hospital. Danko's going to need friends when Jill comes out of surgery," Ryker instructed the two men as he turned and left the room.

Lt. Ryker walked down the hall to his office and closed the door behind him. He sat down and thought about the phone call he'd received the night before from Mike, who'd been so hysterical that the lieutenant could barely understand what he was saying.

"It happened so fast that I couldn't warn her!" Mike's raised voice screamed into Lt. Ryker's ear. "I didn't have time to shove her to the floor or anything!"

"Danko, what're you talking about?" Ryker asked, sitting up straight in his chair as his office door opened.

"Lieutenant, there's been a shooting at Morton's Restaurant with multiple victims," Sgt. Older informed the lieutenant. "I've got units rolling on it now."

"Danko, are you and Jill at Morton's?" Ryker asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes! Some dude walked in and started shooting up the place!" Mike screamed as the blood left Ryker's face.

"Danko, is Jill hit?" The lieutenant asked, again dreading the answer.

"Yes! I don't know how bad it is! I knocked the guy out!" Mike informed the lieutenant.

"Danko, I'm on my way. I'll be there in ten minutes!" Ryker shouted as he hung up the phone and grabbed his hat from the hat rack. "Older, let's go!"

When they'd arrived at the restaurant, they found total chaos. Various people were crying and screaming while detectives tried to take statements. Ryker and Older ducked under the crime scene tape and entered the restaurant. The noise inside was even more deafening than the chaos outside. Most of the noise was being caused by Jill's hysterical screaming. Mike looked up from his place at her side as he saw Ryker and Older approach. "She doesn't stay conscious for more than a few seconds at a time and when she's conscious, she starts screaming. I've tried talking to her, but I'm not getting through to her," Mike apologized as the ambulance attendants walked toward them with a Gurney.

"What happened?" Ryker asked as Jill began screaming again.

"Excuse me, sir," Mike walked back over to Jill and knelt down beside her as the attendants were getting ready to put her on the Gurney. "Baby, it's going to be okay. They're going to take you to the hospital and I'll be right behind you. I promise."

Jill grabbed Mike's hand in a death grip as they wheeled her outside toward the ambulance. Trying to get her to let go as they were trying to load her into the ambulance proved to be problematic. She was screaming, crying and continuing to cling tightly to Mike's hand. Mike and one of the ambulance attendants finally had to resort to prying her fingers loose, but each time they did, she grabbed Mike with her free hand. It took almost five minutes of constant prying to finally get her into the ambulance. Mike watched the ambulance drive off with an expression of unbelievable grief on his face.

"I've got to get to the hospital," Mike said, digging for his car keys as he ran toward his car.

"Danko, you're in no shape to drive! Give me your keys and I'll drive you," Ryker offered as Mike stopped and handed him his keys. "Older, follow us! Do you have to give a statement to the detectives?"

"I already did," Mike said as they walked to the car and got in.

"What happened? And, keep in mind that we're in an enclosed space, so keep your voice less than 150 decibels," Ryker warned as he pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic.

"I'm still not completely sure. We were sitting at our table and this man walked in. He got into an altercation of some kind with the maitre d'. The next thing I know, he's pulled out a gun and is shooting up the place. I decked him when he stopped to reload," Mike finished, still in a state of shock.

Lt. Ryker decided to go back to the hospital and wait. There wasn't anything else he could think of doing at this point.

Twenty minutes later, Ryker once again stepped off of the elevator and walked over to Mike, who was sitting on the bench outside of the double doors to the surgery. "I brought you some coffee," Ryker held out a paper cup as Mike looked up.

"Thanks," Mike accepted the cup and took a sip of the steaming liquid. "One of the nurses came out a while ago and said they were finishing up and that the doctor will be out to talk to me soon."

"That's good. I saw Webster downstairs. He was checking on the status of the gunman," Ryker told Mike, who nodded as he stared at his cup. "So, do you want a cigarette or something?"

After a couple of beats, Mike looked over at his superior. "I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't, I just wasn't sure if you knew someone was here," Ryker replied as Mike looked at him and nodded. At that moment, the elevator bell dinged and Terry stepped off of it. Ryker walked over and motioned him aside. "Let's go over here," he motioned as they stepped off to one side.

"Well?" Terry asked as he glanced over toward Mike.

"Nothing yet, but Mike said the doctor was finishing up and would talk to him soon. Any word on the guy who did all the shooting?" Ryker asked as he tried to listen for any noise from the other end of the corridor.

"We're running a make on him. We should have something soon. Right now, all we have is his name. Steve Wainz. The doctor's have sedated him and Willie's taking the first shift outside of his room," Terry went over what they had so far as Ryker nodded.

"Did he say anything? Give any motive for the shooting?" The lieutenant wanted to know.

"Yeah, he said something. A lot of something, all garbage! As far as a motive, the neurologist came up with a possible," Terry said.

"What's that?"

"They found a brain tumor when they were running the tests for the concussion. The neurologist said it might be responsible for the violent behavior," Terry explained.

"Do you believe it?" Ryker asked him.

"I've gotta believe it, don't I? It doesn't make it any easier to accept. One man dead from a bullet wound, a second from a heart attack, Jill in there fighting for her life. How do you chalk that up to a growth in a man's head?" Terry asked bitterly.

"Are they going to operate?" Ryker asked.

"Tomorrow morning," Terry confirmed.

"Then you may have something a lot tougher to get used to. Wainz could conceivably walk out of here a free man," Ryker warned as Terry looked at him in shocked disbelief.

"What do you mean?" Terry asked.

"It's happened before, Webster. You don't need a lawyer to see it for what it's worth. You've got a man who's committed murder that could be connected to a tumor on the brain. All right, let's say it is. You have insanity due to a deformity. You remove the deformity. You remove the insanity. You'll never get a conviction of murder because it was the act of an insane man and you can't send Wainz to the institution for the criminally insane because after the operation, he no longer is," Ryker explained to Terry.

"Lieutenant, if Wainz walks out of here like you say . . . " both men stopped talking as they heard the double doors at the end of the corridor open. "Finally," Terry breathed as both men walked back down the hall toward Mike.

Mike jumped to his feet as the doctor exited, still in his surgical scrubs. "Well, it was close, Mr. Danko. Very close. But, it's over and I've taken her off of the critical list," the doctor informed Mike.

Upon hearing the news that Jill was now off of the critical list, Mike let go of the breath he hadn't realized he was holding and shook the doctor's hand in delight. "Thank God! You had her in there for so long that I didn't know what to expect!"

"Well, there was a blood clot on her spine that we had to deal with before we could go after the bullet. And, there's the baby," the doctor continued as Mike looked at him in shock. "I'm sorry, but we lost it. There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Danko. You and your wife can have other children," the doctor went on as Mike's hands started to shake. "I assumed that you knew about the baby."

"No," Mike's hands continued to shake as he brought one hand to his mouth.

"I'm sorry," the doctor apologized as he started to go back through the double doors.

"Doctor, when can I see her?" Mike asked as he fought to regain his composure.

"She'll be out of recovery and into a room in about 45 minutes. She'll be on the eighth floor, room 820," the doctor left through the double doors as Mike sank back to the bench in exhaustion and disbelief.

For the last time he glanced at his watch. It was almost 5:30 in the morning and the sun was just beginning to come up. It had been exactly 12 hours since the last time Mike could remember being completely happy. At the moment, he felt as if all the air had been sucked out of him. That was what she had wanted to tell him the night before as they waited for their table. She had told him that she wanted everything to be perfect. "I'm going to go upstairs," Mike told Terry and Lt. Ryker as he walked toward the elevator.

"Do you want to talk to Willie or do you want me to?" Terry asked as he looked at Lt. Ryker, who was standing there with tears in his eyes. "Sir, are you all right?"

"We need to keep an eye on him," Ryker warned Terry. "Go let Willie know Jill's out of surgery and what room she's in."

"Yes, sir," Terry answered as they both walked to the elevator.

"I'll be at the precinct if you need me," Ryker told Terry as the elevator stopped on the floor where Willie was guarding Wainz.

"Yes, sir," Terry said as the elevator doors closed. Terry walked down the hall where Willie was waiting outside of Wainz's room. "Has he said anything?" Terry asked as Willie looked up from the magazine he was reading.

"No, everything's quiet. Any word on Jill?" Willie asked as he saw the look on Terry's face. "Terry, what's wrong?"

"Jill's out of surgery. She'll be in her room soon. There were some complications during the surgery, but she's off the critical list. Lt. Ryker and I were standing there when the doctor told Mike that Jill had been pregnant. She lost the baby," Terry told Willie, who stared at him in shock.

"How's Mike taking it?" Willie wanted to know.

"I think he's in a state of shock. The lieutenant said he was going to go back to the precinct if we needed him for anything. I think I'm going to see if I can look in on Jill," Terry left and went back to the elevator.

Terry smiled as he thought about a couple of days before when Jill had shown him the dress she had bought to wear on her dinner out with Mike.

"I want to show you something," Jill pulled Terry into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

"You know, people are going to talk if they find me here without your husband," Terry whispered conspiratorially as Jill smiled. "What am I looking at?"

"I bought this dress to wear tomorrow night. Mike hasn't even seen it, yet," she grinned as she removed the dress from the hall closet and showed it to Terry.

"Nice, although the hanger doesn't really do it justice," Terry admitted.

"Mike loves seeing me in red," she blushed as she put the dress back in the closet and closed the door.

"Mike loves you, period," Terry reminded her as he watched her. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her looking so radiant.

"He does, doesn't he?" She grinned.

"Very much, Jill. Very much," Terry whispered as the elevator doors opened on the 8th floor.

PART TWO: JILL'S ANGER AND TRYING TO FIND REASONS WHY

Mike sat in a chair beside Jill's bed watching her restlessly sleep. She had been restless for the past hour, finally prompting Mike to call for a nurse, who came in and put some pain medication into her IV. After that Jill settled down somewhat, but was still somewhat restless. Mike dug her rings out of his jacket pocket and placed them back on her finger, before rubbing her hands, which were as cold as ice.

A nurse came in to check on Jill and adjust her IV's. "You should go home and get some rest, Mike," the nurse told him as he shook his head.

"I am home," he answered as he took Jill's left hand in his. This gesture seemed to calm her and she finally fell asleep.

"Dr. Mauer's going to throw you out of here if he catches you," the nurse warned as she prepared to leave the room.

"He knows I'm here," Mike sighed. "Oh baby, it's been like Grand Central Station in here. I don't see how anybody gets any rest in a hospital. I love you so much, Jill. I'm so sorry about last night."

It was so dark where Jill was and so cold. She thought at first that Mike had the covers again, but when she reached out to take her share, she couldn't seem to move her arm. Reaching with her other hand, all she felt was plastic tubing and tape all over her hand where a needle was taped firmly in place. That was when all the memories of the night before came flooding back. Everything had happened so fast. Her throat felt raw and raspy as if she'd been screaming for hours. She could feel Mike's hand in hers and she shut her eyes tight against the tears that threatened to overflow.

Mike had dozed off in the chair beside Jill's bed, but he awoke when he heard her crying. He rubbed his eyes as he stood up and rubbed her arms, before forcing himself to smile, a smile that she didn't return. "Hi. I fell asleep," he apologized.

"That's okay. Am I going to be all right?" She asked

"Yeah, you're going to be fine, just fine," Mike assured her as he smiled.

"But, I lost the baby, didn't I?" She asked, although she knew the answer by the look on his face.

"That's okay," he consoled her as she shook her head.

"It was going to be my surprise. I was going to tell you last night. It was going to be my anniversary present," she sobbed. "I don't understand it. I don't understand why they took it away."

"I don't either. I guess it was just chance," Mike said, not knowing what else to tell her.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said, an angry note to her voice. "But, if that's the way things are, if that's how stupid things are, maybe . . . maybe it's not worth the trouble."

"Look, why don't you get some rest? We'll talk about this later," Mike promised as he gently wiped a tear from the side of her face.

"I don't ever want to talk about it again," she sobbed angrily. "Because I'm never gonna understand it. And, there's nothing that you or anyone else can say that'll make me understand it. So, I guess the safest way to live is to never let anything like this hurt you again."

Tears began to freely run down her face as Mike felt totally powerless to stop them. Always in the past he'd been able to stop her tears and make her smile again. Right now, he was tired. It had been a long night. He wanted to go home, shower, change clothes and hopefully get some answers. He didn't know how Jill was going to react to the news of him leaving for a few hours. He was about to find out. "Baby, I'm going to go home for a couple of hours. I want to shower and change clothes and bring you some stuff back. Do you want the tape player and some tapes? I'm sure Terry will let you borrow Marvin Gaye. He was here earlier asking about you. I told him maybe he could visit later if you felt up to it," he continued talking quickly, especially after catching the look on Jill's face.

"Mike, please don't go," she whimpered as she angrily wiped at her eyes. "I need you here with me."

"I won't be gone long. I promise. Just as long as it takes me to go home, clean up and pack you some things. A couple, three hours tops. Willie's here and I also think Terry's still around here somewhere. Get some rest and I'll be back before you wake up. I love you," he whispered as he leaned down and gently kissed her on the forehead.

Jill didn't reply, but closed her eyes and willed sleep to quickly overtake her. Her stomach was beginning to throb under the thick gauze bandage. She was almost asleep when she heard her door open. Thinking Mike had changed his mind and come back. She opened her eyes to find her doctor and one of the nurses standing there instead. "I've come to check your incision, Jill," the doctor apologized as he lifted her gown and pulled away the surgical tape holding the dressing in place. "We went through your abdomen to lessen the possibility of paralysis," he explained as Jill winced. "There's still some bloody drainage, so I'm going to leave the drainage tubes in for a while longer, so I don't want you moving around. I'll check on you again this evening. If the drainage has stopped, I'll remove the tubes and you'll be free to get out of bed probably by tomorrow."

"Is everything okay?" Jill managed to ask as the doctor changed the bandage and lowered her gown.

"You'll be able to have another baby, Jill," the doctor told her. "There was just too much damage to save this one. I'm sorry. Are you in pain?"

"A little," she admitted.

"I'll order some pain meds, but I won't have you using them as an excuse to sleep. I'll have someone come in to give you a shot," he wrote the order on her chart as him and the nurse prepared to leave.

Jill closed her eyes after the doctor and nurse left. She just wanted to sleep and forget. Maybe if she slept long enough, she'd wake up and discover that all of this had just been a really bad dream. She'd wake up in Mike's arms and cry herself to sleep until the next night and the next bad dream. She'd been so happy the night before. She remembered how Mike had teased her about wanting to stay home and order pizza. She'd been so excited to tell him about the baby. She'd only known for a few hours herself when Mike had arrived home. She had planned to tell him over dinner. She'd so wanted to see the look on his face when she told him. The look she'd seen on his face just a short while ago was definitely not the look she ever wanted to see on his face again. Tears began to fall down her face once again as she cried. She was still crying when the nurse re-entered the room. "Dr. Mauer ordered you to have Demerol injected into your IV," the nurse said as she injected the drug into the IV tubing.

Within a few minutes, Jill was feeling the effects of the drug. It didn't take away the sadness, but it took away the pain and let her sleep. That was all she wanted to do, sleep and forget.

On his way out of the hospital, Mike stopped to check on Wainz's condition. He was told that Wainz had been taken to surgery to remove the brain tumor. Mike's next stop was the precinct where he talked to the guys and Lt. Ryker before finally driving home.

Mike entered the apartment to the sound of a ringing telephone. He considered not answering it, figuring reporters might be wanting a statement, but finally decided to answer it and then just leave it off of the hook. "Hello," he answered quickly as he removed his tie and threw it on the counter.

"Michael?" His father's familiar voice came over the line as Mike inwardly groaned. "I heard about Jill on the morning news. Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just on my way back to the hospital. Can I call you tonight?" Mike asked, anxious to get his father off of the phone.

"I'm on the phone now. Do you need anything? Is there anything your mother or I can do?" His father asked.

"Let's see. Is there anything you can do? Can you turn back time?" Mike asked sarcastically as he waited for the explosion. He didn't have to wait long.

"Why do you have to be so melodramatic?" His father demanded.

"Why do you have to ask such stupid questions? Jill almost died last night and you can't be bothered to ask about her! I have to go!" Mike hung up the phone in frustration before going back to his and Jill's bedroom. The phone began ringing again, but Mike just let it ring knowing it was his father trying to get the last word, as usual.

He took the suitcase out of the floor of their closet and placed several of Jill's gowns and her robe into it, along with toiletries and the book from the bedside table that she'd been reading. Lastly, he got the cassette player and several of her favorite tapes and placed them in the suitcase. Finally he went into the bathroom and took a long hot shower, feeling almost human when he stepped out. He looked longingly at the bed as he got dressed, thinking of just laying down for an hour, but he also knew that he needed to get back to Jill.

Jill had just woken up when her door opened and Willie stepped in. "Hi. Okay if I step in for a minute? My shift starts in a couple of minutes and I thought I'd drop by and see if you needed anything."

"I don't need anything," Jill told him wearily.

"How about some magazines or something?" Willie suggested helpfully.

"I don't need anything, Willie. But, thanks for coming," she closed her eyes, hoping he'd take the hint and leave.

"Jill?" Willie said her name as Jill forced her eyes opened to look at him. "I guess I really don't understand what it is you're going through, but isn't there anything I can do?"

"Willie, I don't want to talk, okay? I know you want to help me, but you could help me if you'd just leave me alone. I don't want you to lecture me and I don't want you to understand me. I just want you to go way. Just go away," she repeated as she closed her eyes.

"Okay. Take care, huh?" Willie stepped out and closed the door before Jill could say anything else.

Mike arrived back at the hospital shortly before noon with the suitcase in one hand and the yellow roses he'd bought for Jill the previous day in the other one. He was surprised when he found a notation on the outside of her door reading 'No visitors. Please knock before entering.' Frowning, he set the suitcase on the floor as he turned the knob and opened the door before once again picking up the suitcase and walking in. Jill was dozing, so he put the suitcase on a nearby chair and placed the vase of roses on a nearby bureau. Then he pulled up another chair to the bed and took her hand in his as he watched her sleep.

Jill forced her eyes opened and looked over at Mike. "Hi," she tried to smile as she squeezed his fingers.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he apologized as he tried not to wince at the pain in his fingers. "Uh, I saw the sign on your door when I walked in. Was that the doctor's idea or yours?"

"I just don't want to see anybody, Mike. Willie was here earlier and I couldn't stand the look on his face," she remembered as she closed her eyes.

"What look was that, Jill?" He wanted to know.

"The same way you're looking at me now. I don't know what to call it. Sorrow, self-pity, sadness. Take your pick," she sighed. "I couldn't deal with it."

"If you shut them out, how long is it going to be before you start shutting me out? You've done it before, remember? If we talk about this, maybe we can both deal with it and move on," Mike suggested as Jill looked at him with those same angry eyes he had faced earlier that morning.

"I don't want to talk about it, Mike! And, how can you talk about moving on?" She shouted at him as she pulled her hand free from his.

"I didn't mean it like that. Baby, I know you're hurting. But, I'm hurting, too! I don't know how to help you with your pain. I don't even know how to deal with my own pain. My father called this morning," Mike changed the subject as Jill made a face. "I hung up on him."

"Oh, I bet he was thrilled about that."

"I don't know, but I'm sure I'll find out. He wanted to know if I was okay. I felt like asking him if he heard my name mentioned on the morning news as injured, but I didn't. I brought your roses. I thought maybe they'd brighten up the room a little bit," he told her as her eyes filled with tears. "Hey, you said you saw the doctor earlier. What did he say?"

"They'll remove the drainage tubes this evening probably. He said I can have another baby, etc., etc. Why, Mike?" She suddenly asked as Mike looked confused. "The man with the gun. Why did he do it?"

"We don't know yet, baby," Mike whispered as he looked at the floor.

"Is he in jail?"

"No, he's on the prison ward recovering from brain surgery," Mike answered.

"Brain surgery?"

"Yeah, I knocked him out last night and when they were running tests, they found out he had a brain tumor. They removed it this morning. As soon as he recovers, they'll be taking him to jail," Mike assured her.

"You knocked him out? I don't remember anything," she went over the events of the previous night in her mind and came up blank.

"There was a lot of confusion," Mike confessed as he saw her eyes start to close. "It's okay, baby. We'll talk about it later. Go ahead and sleep."

While she was asleep, Mike unpacked her suitcase and put her things in the bureau drawers except for one gown and her robe, which he placed at the foot of her bed. He placed the tape player and the stack of tapes along with the book on her night stand so she'd have easy reach to them. That being done, he stepped out to get some coffee and try to gather his thoughts.

He was standing at the nurses station drinking his coffee when Willie and Terry walked up to him. "Hey," Terry greeted him as Mike looked up.

"Hey yourselves," Mike answered back. "Are you guys still on duty or did Ryker give you a reprieve?"

"We were on our way to the precinct to clock out, go home and catch 40 winks. You look like you could do the same," Terry said as he noticed how tired Mike looked.

"I'll probably just stay here with Jill until visiting hours are over tonight, then I'll go home and sleep. I needed to go to the precinct and talk to Lt. Ryker anyway about maybe going back on duty. I need to find out why this happened," Mike threw his empty coffee cup into a nearby trash can.

"What makes you think it wasn't just random?" Terry asked as he looked over at his partner.

"Maybe it was. I just have to know for sure," he told the two men as he looked over at Willie. "I understand that you saw Jill earlier."

"Yeah, but she sure didn't want to see me," Willie remembered.

"She's angry and I can't reach her. She wants to know 'why' the same as I do and I can't tell her until I find out for myself. They were just telling me that she's going to be asleep for a while, so why don't I follow you two over to the precinct. That way I can talk to Lt. Ryker and get back here before she wakes up," Mike suggested as Terry and Willie nodded.

"Let's go," Terry said as they walked toward the elevator.

Lt. Ryker was in his office when Mike knocked on the door. "Come!" He shouted as Mike opened the door and entered the office. "Mike, come in. I thought you went home to get some rest."

"I went to the apartment to shower and change clothes. I just left home, which at the moment is Jill's bedside. I was wondering if I could talk to you about coming back on duty," Mike wondered as he looked at his superior.

"Don't you think your place right now should be with your wife?" Ryker asked as he removed his glasses and carefully polished the lenses.

"Yes, sir, I suppose you're right. But, Jill wants answers and so do I," Mike admitted. "I'm not going to be able to reach her until she knows why this happened."

"Gillis is still on assignment guarding Wainz and will be until he's released from the hospital and booked into the jail. If Webster doesn't have an objection, you can ride with him. But, Danko, I want this by the book. No heroics," Ryker warned as he put his glasses back on.

"Yes, sir."

"Was there anything else?" Ryker wanted to know as he noticed Mike still standing there.

"No, sir. I think that about covers it. Thank you," Mike left the office and closed the door behind him.

Back at the hospital, Jill had managed to change from the hospital gown into her own gown. She lay staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. The afternoon and the night before had been so wonderful. Looking over at the roses, she could still remember how wonderful it had felt to be in Mike's arms. She had almost given in to his desire to stay home. But, she had her whole baby speech mapped out in her head and it didn't include staying home to give it. Staying home meant the possibility of Willie and Terry coming over and interrupting. But, when she thought about it, Willie and Terry interrupting would've been far better than what happened instead.

It had been so loud after it happened. Jill had never heard such a deafening amount of noise in her life. Then, after the noise, everything seemed to move in slow motion. There were still huge blocks of time that Jill couldn't remember. Her stomach and her back both hurt badly. She wasn't sure which pain was worse. She impatiently wiped away at the tears which were once again running down her face and wondered where Mike was. She was just about to ring for the nurse when her door opened and Terry crept in. "Can't you people read?" Jill hissed through clenched teeth as he approached her bed with his hands behind his back.

"I brought you a peace offering. A strawberry milkshake," Terry pulled a paper bag from behind his back as Jill continued glaring at him.

"I didn't know we were at war. Terry, I'm serious. I really don't want to see anybody except Mike. Is he out there?" She asked, thinking Mike had stepped out to talk to the guys.

"He left for a little while," Terry hedged as he placed the paper bag containing the milkshake on Jill's tray table.

"He didn't tell me he was leaving. Did he say where he was going?" She asked as she opened the bag and removed the cup.

"He said something about talking to Ryker. He should be back pretty soon. You're not on any dietary restrictions, are you?" He asked as she took a small sip of the shake.

"Now you ask. Look, Terry, I appreciate the gesture. But, like I told Willie, you guys can help a lot if you'd just leave me alone. The last thing I need is you in here psychoanalyzing me. Really. Just go away," she sighed as she pushed the tray table away and closed her eyes.

"You can't run and hide for long. You know that, don't you?" Terry asked as he got up to leave.

"I'll run and hide as long as I need to," she glared as her eyes bored through Terry.

"Then, you know I'll keep trying. Do you need anything before I leave?" He asked as he reached the door.

"I was about to ring the nurse for some pain medication. You can let somebody know."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later," he said as he left the room and closed the door.

"So, did she throw you out?" Willie asked as Terry leaned against the wall.

"Not exactly. I'm more stubborn than she is, though. She's definitely met her match this time," Terry grinned.

"You will live dangerously," Willie warned as Mike approached them.

"I thought you guys were going home. What's wrong?" Mike asked.

"Nothing. We're on our way now. Oh, I need to send a nurse in to give Jill a shot. I tried to visit. I hit a brick wall," Terry told Mike as he approached the nurses' station and talked to the charge nurse.

"Ryker said if it's all right with you, we can ride together starting tomorrow as long as I do everything 'by the book, '" Mike told Terry when he came back.

"I'm cool. You know Jill's not going to take it well," Terry warned.

"Maybe I should wait until she's been medicated," Mike wondered half-seriously as the two guys looked at him.

"A warning. I brought her a strawberry milkshake. She might throw it at you. Hey, stop by tonight when you get home and we'll have a couple of beers and unwind," Terry offered.

"Sounds good," Mike agreed as he headed back to Jill's room. "I'll stop by about nine."

The nurse was just finishing with the pain medication when Mike walked in. "You always arrive just as I'm about to fall asleep," Jill complained as Mike pulled a chair over by the bed. "This stuff is great. I see why it's so in demand with addicts," she murmured sleepily as she looked over at Mike.

"Maybe they should sell it over the counter, like aspirin, huh?" Mike teased back, glad that her mood seemed a little lighter.

"At the check out counter, like M&M's," Jill agreed as her eyes closed and her breathing evened out.

"She'll sleep for a few hours," the nurse assured Mike. "You look like you could also use about three or four hours of sleep yourself. You can always crash in the nurses' lounge, if you want to. The couch isn't the most comfortable in the world, but it's better than that hard chair."

"Thanks, but I'll stay here," Mike answered as the nurse nodded and left the room.

Mike sat and watched Jill as she slept. It had been a favorite pastime of his for the past four years and one he thought he could never get tired of. She was rarely still when she slept and Mike often wondered what it was she dreamed of. In the beginning of their relationship and the early part of their marriage, past demons kept her from getting a full nights sleep. They still often claimed her sleep now, making for many nights full of nightmares, although none could compare to the ones from early on. Mike knew that this tragedy was going to play a huge part in their nights, probably for years to come. He put his head back and closed his eyes, trying to will out the images from the night before that was still plaguing his thoughts. The most prominent one was the image of Jill laying so still on that floor. After several minutes, sleep finally overtook him.

It was getting dark when Jill woke up. She looked over at Mike sound asleep in the chair beside her bed. She knew he couldn't be comfortable. She was about to wake him up when her door opened and Dr. Mauer and a nurse walked into the room. Mike jerked awake and rubbed his neck as he sat up. "I just need to check on Jill's incision, Mr. Danko. It'll just take a few minutes," the doctor apologized as Mike stood up and stretched.

"Okay. I'll be back in a few minutes, babe," Mike kissed her before leaving the room.

Mike was leaning against the wall when the doctor walked out about ten minutes later. "You can go back in," the doctor told him. "I've removed her drainage tube and I'll remove her IV and other stuff in the morning."

"So, she's doing okay?" Mike inquired as he prepared to go back into the room.

"Physically, she's doing as well as can be expected. Emotionally is going to be a long road. You're both going to have to give each other time to heal," the doctor explained as Mike nodded.

"Thanks."

Jill had raised the bed when Mike walked back in. "They removed my drainage tube, so I'm a little sore," she groaned as Mike sat down and took her hand.

"They're about the throw me out of here. I'm going to go back on duty tomorrow, so I'll stop by to see you before I go to work and then again at lunchtime," Mike just blurted out as Jill's eyes hardened.

"Ryker didn't give you time off?" Jill asked.

"Yeah, he did. This was something that I asked for. I have to know why this happened, Jill," Mike justified as Jill's eyes remained unchanged.

"Mike, promise me you aren't going out for revenge. Please tell me that isn't what this is about," Jill pleaded as Mike squeezed her hand. That was when she noticed his bruised, swollen knuckles. "What happened to your hand?"

"Accident," he brushed it off. "I promise that this isn't about revenge. I just want answers."

"Just do me a favor and be careful," she begged him as he smiled and kissed her.

"I was just worried that I was going to show up tomorrow and find your 'no visitor' sign amended to read 'and that includes you, Mike.' I'll be careful. Have I told you lately how much I love you?" He asked as he kissed her fingers.

"Not in the last hour or so," she tried to smile, but the look in his eyes only made her want to cry.

"Don't cry," he whispered as he brushed her tears away with the tips of his fingers. "It's going to be okay."

"I want to believe that, Mike. But, right now, it doesn't feel like anything's ever going to be all right ever again. I love you and I know that you love me, but right now that isn't enough," she sniffled as he handed her a tissue. "Why don't you go home and get some sleep? I'll see you in the morning. One more favor. If your father calls again, don't get into any more shouting matches with him."

"Okay, no shouting matches," he forced a smile as he stood up. "You get some sleep, too. If you need me, have someone call me and I'll be up here in two shakes."

The next morning Willie was standing outside of Wainz's room when he heard him calling from inside his room. "Hey! Hey you, outside! Can you come in here for a minute!" Wainz shouted from the other side of the door.

Willie opened the door and stared at Wainz balefully. "Listen, if you need anything, just press that button on the side of your bed and a nurse will come in."

"I was just wondering how that girl I shot was doing," Wainz wondered out loud.

"Why?" Willie wanted to know.

"I was just curious, that's all," Wainz stated.

"She'll live to testify against you," Willie assured him in a harsh voice.

"That's not where I was at, but thanks, anyway. At least I know she's still alive," Wainz seemed relieved by the news.

"Yeah, she's alive, but her baby isn't. She was pregnant and you killed her baby!" Willie blurted out as he stared at Wainz.

"I'm sorry," Wainz said in a half-hearted apology.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Willie asked.

"Why doesn't really matter, does it? All my life I've done things that I've been sorry for. The reasons don't really matter, do they?" Wainz asked as Willie stepped back outside.

It had been a long night for Jill. Despite the Demerol, she only slept for brief snatches of time and with the sleep, came the dreams. Horrible dreams where somebody kept taking the baby away from her and holding her just out of reach, like a carrot in front of a horse. She kept calling for Mike to help her, but he never did. She dreamed that she was standing in the middle of a crowded room. She could hear the baby crying, but every time she got close to the sound, the baby would move further away. When Jill did manage to finally find her, whoever had her held her just out of reach. Jill desperately tried reaching for her, but her arms weren't long enough, causing whoever had the baby to laugh in monstrous glee. Jill woke up, calling out Mike's name. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she looked at the travel clock that Mike had placed on her night stand the day before. It was almost 6:30. She was still willing her heart to slow down when her door opened and Mike walked in. "Hi. I wasn't sure if you'd be awake or not," Mike whispered as he approached her bed. "What's wrong?" He asked as he noted the look on her face.

"I was just really scared. I called your name and you weren't here," she choked out as Mike sat on the edge of her bed.

"I'm here now, okay?" He consoled her as he brushed her hair off of her shoulders.

"But, for how long? Five minutes? Ten? Mike, please stay with me," Jill begged as she noticed the look on Mike's face. "What? Is it that hard to be with me?"

"No. Don't you want to know why, Jill?" He asked as her eyes hardened once again.

"I just want to put it behind me. Behind us. You're going to go out there and get yourself hurt or killed and then where am I going to be? They have the guy who did it, right? You said so yourself. What difference does 'why' make? It happened, it's over," she emphasized as Mike stood up. "Yeah, you'd better go or you'll be late to Roll Call."

"I'll see you at lunchtime," Mike leaned down to kiss her, but she turned away from him. "I wish you wouldn't be like this."

She didn't answer, so Mike left the room. One of the nurses stopped him on his way to the elevator. "How was Jill when you went in there?" The nurse asked.

"Upset, but I guess it's understandable," Mike reasoned as he waited for the elevator.

"She didn't have a good night. Some people have problems handling strong pain medication," the nurse explained.

"Nightmares?" Mike asked as the nurse nodded her head. "That does explain things a little better. I'll be back at lunchtime."

Terry and Mike's first stop that morning was the restaurant. Terry talked to the maitre d' while Mike looked around the room. "Things would've been different if I hadn't insisted on that table," Mike muttered to himself as he looked around.

"Did Mr. Wainz say anything to you when he entered the restaurant?" Terry asked.

"He said 'leave me alone.' Then he just started shooting," the maitre d' explained as he looked over at Mike. "You know, his wife wouldn't have been injured if they had sat at a different table."

"Thank you," Terry cut off the maitre d' as he walked over to stand beside Mike.

"He's right, you know?"

"This wasn't your fault, Mike," Terry consoled his friend. "What're you thinking?"

"It wasn't a random act. Wainz's first shot was over there, then another there and then there. If it had been a random act, don't you think he would've sprayed his shots? Shot as many people as he could?" Mike asked excitedly as Terry tried to follow his train of thought.

"Look, Mike, I don't know what you think you've got! It might not be anything!" Terry told him.

"It's more than what we had before! Let's go talk to Ryker!" Mike ordered as he ran out the door with Terry on his heels.

Jill was standing at the window staring into the parking lot when Mike walked in at 12:00 noon on the dot. "Hey, they've disconnected you from everything!" Mike smiled as he walked over and tried to hug her. She shrugged out of his way and moved away from him. "Emma told me that you had bad dreams last night. Why didn't you just tell me that? I could've helped," he apologized as he sat down in a nearby chair.

"How could you help? You weren't here!" She accused him as she sat down on her bed. "I told Dr. Mauer this morning that I don't want any more Demerol. But, he told me that the pain might get so bad that I can't sleep at all! After last night, that's a chance I'm almost willing to take!"

"Did he say when you're going to be released from here?" Mike asked.

"Four, maybe five days. He also told me that the pregnancy hormones are still there even though there's no longer . . . despite the miscarriage. He explained to me that's why I cry and why I'm so moody. He said that could last another few weeks," she told Mike everything that the doctor said.

"It's going to be okay. We're going to get through this," Mike reassured her as he walked over and sat beside her on the bed, but when he once again tried to pull her close, he was once again rebuffed. "How about if I talk to Dr. Mauer about staying here until you go to sleep?"

"Mike, the problem isn't the going to sleep part! It's the waking up, screaming part! You're well aware of that part! After all, it's been a huge part of our lives for four years!" She reminded him.

"Jill, they aren't going to let me stay. And, getting you released early probably isn't a good idea. What if you have a part of me with you at night?" He suggested as Jill looked at him quizzically. He reached down and removed his St. Christopher's medallion from around his neck and placed the chain around his wife's neck. "Now, even though I'm not here, part of me is."

"Is there a patron saint for nightmares?" She asked as she clutched the medallion in her hand.

"Probably. There's one for everything else. Do you want me to call my mother and ask her?" He teased.

"No. I appreciate the gesture, but you know this probably isn't going to help much," she warned him as he looked at his watch. "Time to run, huh?"

"Yeah, I have to go. I love you and I'll see you tonight," he leaned down to kiss her before getting up and walking out of the door.

Terry was talking to one of the nurses when Mike exited Jill's room. "How's she doing?" Terry asked.

"I don't know. One minute, she seems fine and the next, she's shutting me out. It's like riding a see-saw where you don't know where to stand. One minute I'm saying the right thing and the next I'm the enemy," he sighed as he stared at the counter.

"Maybe I could go in and talk to her," Terry suggested as Mike shook his head.

"Don't. Believe me, she's not in a mood that you want to deal with right now. Come on, let's go check out the flower shop. Mr. Mayson gave me his card last night," Mike said as he pulled the card from his wallet.

"Do you really think Mayson's widow knows anything?" Terry asked as they left the hospital and walked toward the squad car.

"There's only one way to find out," Mike answered as they got into the car.

Mike and Terry drove over to the flower shop and walked in. A young man in his early 20's came out from the back to greet them. "May we speak to Mrs. Mayson?" Terry inquired as the young man stared at them.

"Uh, she isn't here," the young man apologized.

"Who are you?" Mike asked.

"Ricky. I'm the delivery boy," he explained.

"Do you know how we can reach Mrs. Mayson?" Mike asked.

"No. I haven't seen her in a couple of days now, ever since the funeral. She left out of here with a couple of suitcases," Ricky further explained.

"Did she say where she was going?" Terry asked.

"No, but she looked scared," Ricky remembered.

"Scared? Scared of what?" Mike asked.

"I don't know, but it might have had something to do with the two men who came in here last week," Ricky told the two officers.

"Was this one of them?" Terry asked, as he handed Ricky a picture of Wainz.

"No, I never saw this guy. One of the guys waited in the car, but the other guy came in here to talk to Mr. Mayson. They stepped into the back room and when they returned, Mr. Mayson looked really scared. When Mrs. Mayson asked him if everything was all right, he told her not to worry, that everything would work out," Ricky remembered the conversation.

"The guy that came in, had you ever seen him before?" Mike wanted to know.

"No, never. But, I'd probably recognize him if he came back in here," Ricky said as Terry put the photo away. "I did hear Mr. Mayson call him Woodward, if that helps."

"Yeah, it does. Thanks," Mike thanked the young man as they left the shop.

Jill was sitting in a chair when her best friend Meggy walked in. "It's a beautiful day," Meggy chirped as she walked over and pulled the drapes aside, flooding the room with light. "Let's take a walk."

"I don't feel like taking a walk," Jill protested.

"Well, I do. So, humor me," Meggy smiled. "It's too beautiful a day to sit inside and sulk. Here's your robe. Put it on and we'll walk."

Jill loved Meggy to death. After all, she was her dearest female friend, but she was in no mood for her eternal cheerfulness. "Meggy, I really just want to be left alone," Jill indicated, as she continued to sit stubbornly in her chair.

"I'm not leaving you alone," Meggy told her in a stern voice. "So, that leaves you two choices. You can continue to sit here and sulk or you can join me on my walk. Actually, it only leaves you one choice. Let's go."

"Now, I know why your patients are so anxious to check out of here," Jill groaned as she reluctantly shrugged into her bathrobe.

The two women walked down the hall toward the nurses' lounge. "See, I bet you feel better already," Meggy chirped cheerfully as Jill felt like slapping her.

"No, not really," Jill stated with cold authority.

"So, your husband's gone back to work and has left you to your own devices, when all you really want is for him to sit by your bedside and hold your hand, maybe dry your tears while you cry. Jill, I know you've suffered a heartbreaking loss. I also know that you're angry. Believe me, I understand that. But, you've got to stop this sulking," Meggy scolded as Jill looked at her angrily.

"Take me back to my room," Jill ordered as she turned around. "I don't need this! It's been . . . what? Three days and people are all saying 'oh Jill, you need to move on. You and Mike can have another baby.' Why doesn't anybody understand that this isn't about the next baby that we can have? It's about the baby that we no longer have! If I want to sit and cry all day, why is it anybody's business but mine!" Jill raged as they walked back toward her room.

Mike and Terry returned to the precinct to change clothes before clocking out. Mike went to Lt. Ryker's office to let him know what they had discovered so far. "I think Mr. Mayson was the possible target of the shooting!" Mike explained excitedly as Ryker sat back and listened. "Mrs. Mayson has disappeared and the delivery boy said there was a man in the shop last week who frightened her husband. I think we should investigate Mr. Mayson's background. Find out who his business associates are."

"Danko, none of this really means anything. His wife could've left to stay with relatives. We won't know until she returns and we're able to talk to her," the lieutenant pointed out.

"But, don't you think it's strange that Mr. Mayson got this visit from this guy Woodward and seemed scared after Woodward left?" Mike asked in frustration as he paced the room.

"No. Danko, maybe you should start asking yourself a serious question. Are you out for justice or revenge? You promised me this would be by the book," Ryker reminded him.

"I have to know why this happened, lieutenant! I can't begin to get Jill back until I do!" Mike cried as the lieutenant seemed taken aback. "I have to go. I promised Jill I'd stay with her until she goes to sleep."

Ryker looked troubled after Mike left his office. The comment about 'getting Jill back' worried him. He hadn't had time to visit Jill, but maybe it was time to change that.

Jill had fallen asleep after trying to eat dinner. As usual, with the sleep came the dreams and this was the worst one, yet. She tried waking up, but couldn't. She felt as if she was sinking in quicksand. When Mike entered her room shortly after eight, she was tossing and turning and softly crying out. "Jill?" He called her name softly as he entered the darkened room. He walked over to her bed and straightened her covers before walking over and pulling a chair over.

"Mike!" Jill suddenly sat straight up in bed, crying out his name. "Mike!"

"I'm here," he consoled her as he ran over to the bed and gathered her into his arms. "I'm here. Shh! It's okay. Easy, easy now," he said softly as he lowered her back onto the pillows as she continued to cry hysterically. "It'll be okay."

"I had a dream about the baby and I saw her," she continued to sob as she grabbed his jacket lapels. "We were playing a game and something scared her. She started to cry . . . and she called me. I tried to help her, but something was chasing her away from me. I tried to reach her, but I couldn't! I tried, but I couldn't! I tried!"

"Shh! It was just a dream. That's all it was, just a dream. It'll pass," Mike tried to assure her as she continued to cry.

"It would've been wonderful," she sobbed as she played with the buttons on his jacket. "Would we have really been a family?"

"We can again," he promised her. "The doctor said there's no problem . . . "

"No," she put her hands on his face to stop him from speaking. "I don't want to. Cause I don't want to give chance another chance . . . I don't want to give anything a chance to hurt us like that again. I just can't . . . " she pushed away from him and turned so that her back was to him.

Mike sighed and wearily rubbed his face as he stared at Jill's back. She was getting harder and harder to reach. He was at his wit's end as to what to do. He sat there for several minutes, reluctantly getting up to leave when he realized that she wasn't going to say anything else to him. "I'll talk to you in the morning," he whispered as he left the room.

PART THREE: A KICK IN THE BUTT SPEECH AND WAINZ ESCAPES

Willie and Terry were watching TV when they heard Mike's apartment door open and close. "He's home early," Willie commented as he glanced at his watch.

"Yeah, I know. Let's see if he's up to company," Terry suggested as Willie nodded in agreement.

Mike was sitting on a bar stool at the counter with a bottle of Scotch in front of him. He was about to pour a glass when the doorbell rang. Knowing it was probably Willie and Terry, he didn't answer it, knowing they'd walk in anyway. After about a minute, the door opened and the two guys walked in. "Are you okay?" Terry asked as they walked into the apartment.

"No, right now I'm going to sit here and get quietly drunk," Mike answered as he filled the glass almost to the brim with the amber liquid.

"Do you want a beer chaser?" Willie offered as he opened the refrigerator door and held a beer out toward Mike.

"No, but you guys help yourselves," Mike replied sarcastically as the two guys took a beer and opened them, dropping the caps into the trash.

"Want to talk about it?" Terry urged as he took a drink of his beer.

"I don't know what to do. When things have been wrong before, I've been able to fix them and make them better. I can't make this better!" He raged as he took a gulp of his drink.

"I think Jill knows that," Terry tried to console his friend as he searched for words to say.

"I'm not so sure. She doesn't want to talk about what happened and tonight she tells me that she doesn't want to have a baby. She's too afraid of us getting hurt again," Mike rubbed his eyes as he refilled his glass.

"Mike, she's hurting. You're both hurting," Terry reminded him.

"No kidding, Terry," Mike mumbled as he drained his glass and quickly refilled it.

"All I'm saying is maybe you should just give her a few months. She loves you, Mike. I'm sure that if you give her some space, in a few months she'll be more than ready to try again. I think this is hard for all of us to comprehend," Terry pointed out as he reached across to remove the Scotch bottle from the counter.

"I'm not done with this," Mike took the bottle and placed it out of Terry's reach. "I just want to fix this! When she told me about Cleve, I was able to fix it! When she has nightmares, I'm able to fix that, too! I can't fix this because I don't know what she wants me to say! I'm about to lose her and I don't know how to get her back!"

This time when Terry reached for the liquor bottle, Mike didn't resist. He took the bottle and put it back in its place above the sink. "You're not going to lose her, Mike. Just give her some time. You could both use some time. She showed me the dress. I saw her face when she was telling me about how you love to see her in red. Believe me when I tell you that you're not going to lose her."

"I wanted to stay home that night," Mike groaned as he placed his hands over his face. "I almost talked her into it, but she wanted people to see that dress. She was also worried that we were going to get interrupted by you guys."

"Mike, if you play the 'woulda, coulda, shoulda' game, you're going to drive yourself crazy. None of this was your fault. Look, get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning. At least, that's what my mother always used to tell me," Terry remembered as he walked to the door and motioned for Willie to follow him. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wainz is being transferred tomorrow," Willie offered helpfully as Mike looked at him.

"That's the best news I've heard all week," Mike sighed as he watched the guys leave.

"I think Jill needs a kick in the pants, as my father used to say," Willie commented as the roommates walked back to their apartment.

After they left, Mike got up off of the bar stool and locked the front door before turning off the lights and going to the bedroom. He was slightly unsteady on his feet as he turned on the bedside lamp and turned down his side of the bed. He bunched Jill's pillows up down the middle of the bed and hugged them to his chest, breathing in the scent of her on the pillowcases. He remembered how her eyes had sparkled as they waited for the maitre d' that night at the restaurant. All he wanted was to bring that light back to her eyes. He just wanted to see her smile again. It was always so hard to get her to smile, but when she did, it was magical to see. He just wanted to see that magic come back.

Ryker was in his office the next morning when he heard a knock on the door. "Come!" Ryker called out as the door opened and Willie walked in. "Gillis, aren't you supposed to be at the hospital preparing to transfer Wainz?"

"Yes, sir. Terry and I went to see Mike last night. He's having a rough time. I guess Jill's getting pretty hard to reach. He said something about not being able to fix this. I told Terry that maybe she needed a kick in the pants. My old man used to say that whenever me, my sister or my brother started sulking," Willie reminisced as he watched the lieutenant.

"And you think I'm the person who could deliver that kick?" Ryker asked, slightly amused.

"It's always worked on us," Willie stated, biting back a grin.

"I'll keep that in mind, Gillis. Now, I believe you have an assignment," Ryker reminded him as he pointed toward the door.

A couple of hours later, Willie was in the process of transferring Wainz to a paddy wagon when a vehicle approached and started firing at Wainz. Willie returned fire, causing the car to crash into a nearby light post. In the ensuing chaos, Wainz managed to escape. Mike, Terry and Ryker showed up to get reports. One of the two gunmen was killed in the crash, but the other man was taken to surgery. "Did either of them say anything?" Ryker asked as he met with Willie and Mike outside of the hospital.

"No, sir. The driver, Woodward, was DOA and the other one wasn't conscious. His name is Barber," Willie told Ryker.

"Lieutenant, Woodward was the name of the man who visited Mr. Mayson at his shop last week! My guess is that Wainz, Woodward and Barber are all tied in together with whatever scared Mr. Mayson!" Mike went on excitedly.

"You might be right, Danko! Go back to the precinct and run a make on Woodward and Barber! Gillis, drive around and see if Wainz might still be in the area. I'll be here for a while in case anybody needs me," Ryker said as he walked into the hospital.

Jill was sitting in a chair reading a book when her door opened and Lt. Ryker walked in. "Can we talk?" He asked as he removed his hat and placed it on top of the bureau.

"About what, lieutenant?" Jill asked.

"About me, Mrs. Danko. I have a job that I do fairly well, I live comfortably, I eat well, a little too well, perhaps, but I'm not happy, anymore. Would you like to know why? I'm not sure I'm going to wait for an answer. It's you! You're making my life miserable, Mrs. Danko!" He raged as Jill looked at him.

"I don't want any pep talks, lieutenant," Jill told him.

"That's good, because I'm not going to give any," he began as he walked over to stand directly in front of her. "I came here as a friend, a job that was given to me by you and your husband some time ago and it's one that I'm not ready to relinquish just yet. So, don't bother insulting me. Not until I say what I came here to say. You've been mourning the death of an unborn child. You keep looking for a reason. Well, I don't have one, but I do have the name of a disease that's killing two healthy young people and that's called self-pity!"

"Are you quite finished?" Jill asked angrily.

"No, I'll tell you when I'm finished! You're a nurse! Where have you been all of your professional life! You know all about life and death and everything in between! You claim that who lives and who dies is a matter of chance! What about you and Mike and the life you share? Did you pull him out of a computer or did you meet him by chance? What right do you have to throw away your life and the life of a man you love? At least, you claim to love him!" Ryker thrust his finger at her as he continued to rage. "Well, you don't have the right to throw his portion of life away. You don't and you never will. Now I'm finished. I just hope that you and Mike aren't."

Jill sat there in stunned, shocked silence as the lieutenant walked back over to retrieve his cap. Her first thought when the lieutenant had started his tirade was wondering what Mike had been saying to him. Then it was if a light bulb went off in her head. 'What have I done?' She thought to herself. The lieutenant was right. She didn't have any right to deny Mike his happiness. "Lieutenant?" She called for him in a small voice.

"What?" He asked as he turned to face her.

"Would you do me a favor?" She asked, looking at him.

"What's that?" He asked, sensing her change in moods.

"Would you kiss me right here?" Jill asked, pointing to her cheek. As he leaned over to gently kiss her, she put her hand on his neck. "Thank you. Thank you, dear friend."

"Are you going to be all right?" He asked as he kissed her.

"Not all right, but better," she admitted as she tried to smile.

PART FOUR: TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT AGAIN

Jill was watching TV in her bed later that afternoon when she saw the news reports of Wainz's escape and subsequent recapture. The thought of him being loose filled her with fear. She didn't want anybody else to go through what she had gone through. She was glad he'd been quickly recaptured and taken into custody. It was starting to get dark and she wondered where Mike was. She knew his feelings had to have badly hurt by her the night before, but that had never stopped him in the past. That was why she was always referring to him as a pest. He never gave up. Her nerves were screaming on edge by the time her door opened and Mike walked in. He was shocked as Jill literally flew into his arms and clung to him tightly. "Hey, what's all this?" He asked as he held her with one hand as he brought the other one from behind his back. His other hand contained more yellow roses. "I believe that these are for you," he handed her the roses as she took them and breathed in their scent.

"Thank you, but why? I already have enough flowers to go into business for myself," she complained as she placed the vase on the bureau.

"Because I love you," he answered simply as he looked into her eyes, seeing just a touch of that former magic come back into them.

"I love you, too," she whispered as she began to cry.

"Hey, don't cry," he sat down on the edge of her bed and pulled her down beside him, holding her as she continued to cry. "Baby, please don't cry."

"I don't want to lose you," she sobbed, her voice muffled against his chest.

"I'm not going anywhere. You're going to have to be a lot more awful than you were last night if you want to lose me," he smiled as he pulled her away to kiss her.

"I heard that Wainz got away and I got so scared," she admitted as she pulled on his shirt lapels.

"Well, he's in jail and I have the headache to prove it," he rubbed the back of his head for emphasis.

"Why do you have a headache?" Jill asked as she placed her hand on the back of Mike's head. There was a huge knot where she placed her hand. "Has a doctor looked at this?"

"I'm fine. Wainz just tried to get in the last word, kind of like my old man," Mike told her as he once again pulled her close. "I've missed this."

"Me, too," she wrapped her arms around his waist and held onto him as tightly as she could.

Mike moved up to the head of the bed and drew her down beside him. "Are you asleep?" He asked when she didn't say anything after several minutes.

"Not yet," she murmured sleepily as she listened to his heartbeat. "I want to go to sleep in my own bed curled up beside you like this."

"You'll be home in a couple of days," Mike promised her as he kissed the top of her head. "The first day you're home, we'll stay in bed just like this."

"That sounds nice," she murmured as she fell asleep.

Mike didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he felt a light fall across the bed. He woke up to find one of the nurses standing there. "What time is it?" He asked as he tried to wake up.

"Almost 11," the nurse answered, looking at her watch. "I just came in to see if Jill needed anything before I go off shift. But, I can see that she has everything she needs."

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Mike tried to move, but Jill tightened her grip on him.

"I don't see anything," the nurse smiled as she turned and left the room.

Mike tried to remove Jill's hands from his shirt so he could get up, but she snuggled closer to him and once again tightened her grip. "Don't go," she begged sleepily as she forced her eyes opened to look at him.

"I have to. It's way past visiting hours. Go back to sleep and I'll see you first thing in the morning," he kissed her gently before getting off of the bed.

Willie and Terry walked into the locker room three days later to find Mike already getting dressed to go on-duty. "I'm leaving early today," Mike explained as he tied his shoes. "Jill's being released sometime today and I'm going to go pick her up as soon as she calls me. I know you guys are anxious to see her, but do me a favor and give us some alone time, okay?"

"No problem. Why aren't you up there waiting for her to be released?" Terry asked as he opened his locker.

"Because she wasn't sure what time the doctor was going to come in to see her, so she just suggested that I come to work and she'll give me a call. It's all worked out with Ryker. He even gave me a couple of days off," Mike grinned as he closed his locker.

"Maybe William and I should get married so he'll be that generous with us," Terry teased as he looked over at his partner.

Back at the hospital, Jill was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Dr. Mauer and his trusty nurse. It was just after noon when they walked into her room. "Good afternoon, Jill," Dr. Mauer called out cheerfully as he picked up her chart. "I'm going to have you wheeled down to a treatment room and we'll see about removing your sutures. Does that sound good to you?"

"That sounds wonderful to me," Jill smiled as an orderly entered the room with a wheelchair.

Jill lay on the examining table a few minutes later as Dr. Mauer expertly removed the sutures from both wound sites and covered both with a clean dressing. "Now, at the first sign of any redness or swelling, I want you to call me. I've also written you a prescription for Tylenol with Codeine for pain. I want you to take them only if the pain is severe. Also, I don't want you returning to work for three weeks and then only modified duty. Okay?" He asked as he looked at Jill.

"Okay," Jill agreed as she nodded her head.

"Do you have any questions?" He asked as he handed her the prescription.

"Just one," Jill began in a shy voice as the doctor looked at her. "When can I be with my husband?"

"You can 'be with him' tonight, if you're so inclined," the doctor grinned as Jill blushed beet red. "I'll have the orderly take you back to your room. As soon as you get a ride home, we'll get you discharged."

Back at the precinct, Sgt. Older called to Mike, who'd just come in from off of the street. "Danko! Your wife just called and said something about coming to get her!"

"Thanks!" Mike shouted gleefully as he walked toward Ryker's office and knocked on the door. Not even waiting for an invitation, he burst in.

"Danko, normally when you knock on a door, you wait for an invitation to enter!" Ryker exclaimed in irritation.

"Sorry, sir. Jill just called and she wants me to go pick her up at the hospital," Mike apologized as he tried to catch his breath.

"Then, clock out and get out of here! I'll see you in two and a half days," Ryker dismissed him with a wave toward the door.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," Mike exited and closed the door behind him.

The first day and a half home, all either of them did was sleep. Mike had never felt Jill sleeping so still in their entire relationship. It was also the first time that he could remember actually holding her as she slept without her moving after a few hours so that she was away from him.

The next afternoon, Mike fixed them both something to eat as Jill turned on the TV and sat down on the couch. He settled down beside her and pulled her close as the local afternoon news came on the air. "In local news, a man was arraigned today in connection with last week's deadly restaurant shooting that left one person dead and another seriously injured . . . ."

"I'll change channels," Mike said as he started to get up.

"No, wait," Jill stopped him

"Steven Wainz was ordered held without bond after the incident at Morton's Restaurant," the newscaster continued as Mike watched his wife's reaction.

"I thought he'd look like a monster," Jill commented as she got her first look at the man who had caused so much heartache. With his bandaged head, he just looked pathetic.

"Looks can be deceiving," Mike pointed out as he got up and turned off the TV, before sitting back down beside Jill.

"He'll go to prison for the rest of his life, right?" Jill asked as she curled up against Mike.

"It depends on how good his lawyer is. Let me go check on the soup," Mike changed the subject as he got up and walked to the kitchen.

Jill sat on the edge of the couch and watched Mike as he put soup in bowls and brought them to the dining room table. "Mike?" She called out his name as he looked over at her. "Your hand? Did you do that when you punched him that night?"

"I hit him with my other hand," Mike returned his attention to putting things on the table for dinner. "Come on, let's eat."

"You don't want to talk about it," she guessed as she sat down in her chair.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said in agreement as he took his seat.

The next night, Willie and Terry had dates come to the apartment. "Hey, I've got a great idea!" Willie suddenly announced. "Why don't we order a couple of pizzas and go over to Mike and Jill's?"

"Willie, Jill just got home from the hospital," Willie's date, Linda reminded him. "Don't you think they'd much rather be alone right now?"

"He told us to give them a couple of days. It's been a couple of days, right?" Willie argued as he picked up the phone. "I'm sure they'd love the company."

"I'm telling you that this isn't a good idea," Linda argued as Willie placed the order for pizza delivery.

Back at the Danko's, Mike was preparing what was supposed to be a gourmet feast. Jill was impressed, but she didn't have the heart to tell Mike that there was no way she was going to eat whatever it was he was concocting. "You're spoiling me," she complained in a teasing tone as he placed the pan on the table.

"Yeah, well I like to spoil you," he murmured huskily as he leaned down to kiss her, gently as first, then more passionately. They were both getting caught in the heat of the moment when the doorbell rang. Mike considered ignoring it, but the ringing was persistent. "Stay here. I'll get rid of whomever it is," Mike promised as he walked to the door.

Mike opened it to find Willie, Terry and their respective dates standing there. "We just thought we'd come by and check on the little lady," Terry said as Mike just stared at them.

"We even brought dinner," Willie added as he held out the pizza boxes.

"Actually, I'm flattered . . . " Mike started to say as Jill walked up to him and handed him a glass of wine.

". . . But we already have plans," Jill finished for him as she looked at the four people standing in their doorway in amusement.

"What are we supposed to do with all of this food?" Willie asked as Mike walked away toward the back of the apartment.

Jill stepped forward and leaning on tiptoe, pulled Willie's ear down to her mouth. "I don't care what you guys do with all of that food. I want to be alone with my husband," she stepped back and looked Willie in the eye.

"I guess we'll say good night, then," Willie suddenly announced to the other ladies and Terry's amusement and embarrassment.

"Have fun and we'll talk to you later," Terry added as they left and walked back to his and Willie's apartment.

Jill locked the door and turned off the lights before going toward their bedroom. She smiled as she entered the bedroom to find scented candles everywhere, but there was no sign of her husband. "Mike, where are you?" She called as she heard water running in the bathroom. She walked into the bathroom to find Mike running a bubble bath. "Oh, you're so sweet," she smiled as he approached her and pulled her close.

"So, tell me something. Do you think there's room for two in that bathtub?" He kissed her once again as she pressed him closer to her.

"There has been before, remember?" She grinned as he rolled his eyes.

"Someday, I'm going to buy you a house with one of those Japanese bathtubs," Mike promised as he pulled his t-shirt over his head before sitting down to remove his jeans and shorts and then gingerly stepping into the hot water.

"Oh, I forgot to give you something back," Jill remembered as she removed his St. Christopher and placed it back in his hand.

Mike placed the medallion back around his neck as he watched Jill undress. His eyes clouded over at the sight of the still angry looking incision on her abdomen. Jill followed where his eyes were looking and sighed as she stepped into the bathtub and leaned against him. "The doctor said it'll fade in no time," she assured him as he played his fingers down her arms. "This is nice," she sighed as she enjoyed the lightness of Mike's fingers trailing down her arms.

"What? The bath or being home," he whispered into her hair as his hands reached around her.

"Both," she gasped as Mike's hands touched her breasts. "Did I ever tell you that you have great feet?" She suddenly asked as she leaned forward to massage his feet.

"Well, they're functional, but I wouldn't call them 'great.' You know, if you're trying to slow things down, all you have to do is take my hands and place them in more neutral territory," he placed her hands in his to demonstrate.

"This should've been what it would've been like that night," Jill lamented as Mike began gently kissing her neck.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise," he whispered as he pulled her back against him.

"You don't have to make anything up to me," she turned around to look at him. "I'm the one who should be making things up to you. I was so awful."

"Shh! I don't want to talk about that. Let's just take things slowly and see where they lead. If we don't make love tonight, there's always other nights," he smiled at her as he willed the sadness to leave her eyes once again.

They stayed in the tub for a little while longer, letting their fingers wander until they both started to get cold. Mike got out and dried off before helping Jill out of the tub. He dried her off in between kisses and caresses that left her breathless. "You should write a book about the art of seduction," she breathed out as Mike started driving her insane. "It would be a best seller."

"A best seller, huh?" Mike grinned as he came up for air.

"Yeah, right up there with 'The Joy of Sex,''' Jill complimented him as she reached down to touch him.

"You might not want to do that," Mike groaned as he removed her hand. "Shall we take this into the other room?"

"Oh, yeah," Jill agreed.

Mike led her back to their bedroom and laid down beside her on their bed. "So, where were we?" He asked as he grinned down into her passion darkened eyes.

"Right about here," she whispered as she took his hand and placed it on her breast. She groaned softly as he bent down to kiss her as his fingers once again began to drive her crazy with the dance they were doing on her body. "I need to touch you," she whispered into his mouth as he took her hands and placed them on his chest. "That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

"Not yet," he moved his hands down to her hip as he continued to perform his slow torture on her senses.

"Then when?" She suddenly cried out as he left her mouth and moved down to her breasts. "Oh, Mike! You've got to let me touch you!"

"Not yet," he repeated once again as he smiled at her response to his attentions.

"This isn't fair," she protested as she pulled him back up so she could kiss him. "I need you so badly."

"Now you can touch me," he breathed out as he shifted position. He let out a low groan of pleasure as Jill gently stroked him. After just a couple of minutes of exquisite torture, he removed her hand and slowly entered her.

It didn't take long for either of them to reach a climax so explosive that it took several minutes for their heartbeats and breathing to return to normal. "That was unbelievable," Mike sighed as he collapsed against their pillows.

"So, it was worth getting rid of Terry, Willie and their pizza, huh?" Jill teased as she propped her chin on his chest.

"Baby, if it comes down to a choice between you and pizza, you're going to win, every time," Mike grinned down at her as he willed his breathing to return to normal. "I'm so glad to have you home."

"I'm glad to be home," she reaffirmed as she moved up beside him to cuddle.

"I love you so much," he kissed her as he reached over to turn out the light.

THE END