A/N: Thanks for all of the lovely reviews, everyone! I really appreciate it! nn I'd have updated sooner, but I was on holiday and deprived from email and computer access. I now have information-deficit. Argh. I wasn't quite sure how to link in from the last prologue-type chapter, so I hope that this doesn't seem too awkward or disjointed! Constructive criticism welcome as always, just please don't flame for the sake of it, or if you don't like yaoi. Oh, and this will contain Romeo and Juliet spoilers, so if you haven't read the play and don't already know the plot but plan to read it, you may want to stay away. Oh, and thanks to 'Calafornia Smells Funny' for pointing out my various stupid errors, typing slips, and just general mistakes! I've altered it now! Thanks for the great advice! ;)

Disclaimer (haha, winks at angels-above): I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or places therein, fictional or otherwise. All I own is this plot and my shoes.

Chapter One: A Rehearsal With Remus

"Remus?" Sirius asked, in a sweet, high voice. Remus knew that tone all too well. It meant: 'I can see that you're reading, writing, or doing other Remusey activities, but I need to disturb you to do a favour for me.'

"Yes, Sirius?" he said, cautiously, looking up from his Remusey task (repairing his battered timetable).

"Well, you know you said that you'd help me practice for the play? Would you mind, like, helping me now? We've kinda got the first rehearsal tomorrow, and I'm supposed to learn my lines for the first two actions."

Remus smiled, forgetting his timetable. "Do you mean the first two Acts?"

"Yeah! That's the one!" The werewolf grinned at the enthusiastic light behind Sirius' grey eyes.

I love it when his eyes light up like that. Hang on. I did not think that. No. Well, I might have done. After all, they ARE pretty eyes…

"Remus? Helloooo?"

"Oh, um, sorry." A blush crept across Remus' pale face.

Hehe, I love it when he blushes. Hang on. I did not think that. What the hell, why shouldn't I? Why should The Mighty Sirius have to doubt himself?

"Ok. Before we start on you lines, I'm going to teach you a bit about the terminology." The werewolf began, before being cut off by Sirius' laughter.

"Was it the word 'terminology'?"

"Yeah."

oOo

"Ok. First of all, Shakespearean plays are divided into a number of 'Acts'. These 'Acts' are sub-divided into 'Scenes'. With me?" Remus asked from his comfy chair in the common room. Sirius was trying to find his script.

"Yup, I think so!" came the muffled voice of his friend. "Aha!"

"Good." Remus smiled, as Sirius pulled his already tattered script out of his bag. He proceeded to outline the entire play to Sirius, who almost fell asleep twice.

"Hang on! I die!"

"Yes. It's a very important and moving end."

"But that's not fair! Anyway, I'm the main character! How can I die?"

"Never mind, forget that for now, we need to-"

"AND my character's all weepy and sad."

"First, don't start sentences with 'and', second, he does seem a little sensitive, doesn't he, but it's that that drives him to make rash decisions, such as killing Tybalt in anger; killing Paris; and killing himself in grief… the list goes on."

"Oh. Great. My character's a foppish, homicidal moron."

"Wow, Sirius!" Remus looked like he could hug Sirius. "You actually sounded coherent then!"

"I know; you're rubbing off on me. I need to speak to someone thick, quickly! Peter!"

"What? I'm trying to help these first years play chess, you- you- ugh!"

"Thanks Pete, you may go now."

Remus and Sirius laughed as Peter stormed off back to his First Year-fans.

"You know, they're getting quite attached to him!"

"Yeah, maybe they're, like, his cult followers, or something…"

They mused over this for a while, before beginning to learn lines. Remus offered to read the script up until Sirius' cue to enter, where he would read all of the other characters.

"Hey, Remus?" The dark-haired teen interrupted.

"What?"

"Why is that guy so pissed about some dude biting his thumb?"

"Well, it was considered an insult in those days, kind of like that, erm, gesticulation that you got into to detention for showing to Severus."

"Aaahh. Continue."

Remus read on, smiling.

"Ok, now you've got to come in. See where it says 'Enter ROMEO', well, that's your cue to come on stage. You'll have to learn the line that comes before it, 'We would as willingly give cure as know', and listen out for it on stage."

"Got it!" Sirius saluted, and Remus sighed.

Must he ALWAYS salute! Oh well, it's kinda cute, I guess. Wait! I just thought the word 'kinda'! For shame! For- Wait! I just thought that Sirius was cute! Well, 'kinda' IS worse grammatically…

It took about an hour for Sirius to learn all of his words for the first two Acts, seeing as he didn't have that much to learn. Both extremely tired, they began to pack away.

"Hey, Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"Is Romeo gay?"

"Um, no, he marries Juliet, remember?"

"I know, but he seems pretty friendly with Ben, don't you think?"

"Benvolio."

"Huh?"

"Benvolio. They shorten the character's names to fit on the script."

"Ah. That explains why they put me as Rom. I thought they wrote it all out wrong!"

They both laughed and began to head down to the great hall for tea.

"So, is he gay?"

"No, Sirius, not to my knowledge."

"Oh. You sure?"

"Quite sure."

"What about Mer--"

"No."

"Ok, Tyb-"

"None of the men in the play are gay, already! Think about when the play was set; it would have been considered sacrilege to support homosexuality."

"What about now?"

"Um, well, I suppose there are still people today who think of it as unnatural and disturbing."

"What about you?"

"Err, well, I don't, no."

"Cool. Let's go and get tea; I'm starving, and apparently there's an awesome coffee cake for desert!" Sirius knew coffee cake was Remus' favourite, of course. Well, it is delicious!

Remus grabbed Sirius' wrist without thinking and charged out of the common room dragging him behind. Bloody hell, this is not happening! He's not thinking straight (hehe); there's coffee cake involved. Why do I wish he did that consciously?

"Come on, Sirius; we're going to miss the coffee cake!"

Sirius laughed. "Why is it no matter how much cake, chocolate and sugar you consume, you always stay so thin? Damn your werewolf metabolism!"

They both giggled and ran around a corner, right into Professor Sprout.

"Hi, Miss!" Remus cried, "Can't stop; cake!"

Sirius saluted with his free hand, and was currently dragged off by the hungry werewolf, but the herbology teacher stopped them.

"Now, I've got nothing against it, but you do realise that you're about to run into the Great Hall holding hands, don't you?"

"Oh!" Remus said, realising the implications of the action. When the hell did I do that! "We're not holding hands, he was just being slow so I dragged him along. They have coffee cake, you know!" He let go of Sirius hand. Curses! Now my hand feels cold…

"Ok, run along then, boys! That cake won't eat itself!"

"See you, Professor!" They both called, and charged off again to eat the precious cake.

oOo

Part One of Peter and the Peteonites

(A Shakespearean styling)

(Maybe slightly un-serious, and nothing like actual Shakespeare… A kind of side story explaining Peter's little followers. If you think that I should continue with it, please state so. In a review, perhaps? Hint, hint.)

Enter PETER

Pet. "This comfy chair doth soothe my weary bones, that so freshly returned to Hogwarts ache already. How I've missed the quirks and breath-taking delights found in this mighty castle! But alas, what's this? My good friend Remus, and Lily, too, newly made prefects, as the caterpillar morphs gently into the angelic form of a butterfly! Surely they are dutifully guiding the First Years to this proud tower of Gryffindor, for I can hear their crystal voices from yonder, behind the portrait pink! Here, they enter now!"

Enter FIRST YEARS, REMUS and LILY.

Rem. "Peter, my old friend! I hope that our long absence from Hogwarts has left you refreshed and ready to learneth even more this year! I will talk further 'pon this matter in the morn, for now I am tired, and weary with much stress.

Lil. "Likewise, I must also retire, for I have many prefect duties to completeth of the morrow."

Exeunt REMUS and LILY

Pet. "Alack! Left all alone with none but the timid first years! See how they whisper among themselves and point at me! It's almost as if they are in awe of my presence! I shall sit here and cleanse my ear with one finger to try and hide my discomfort at this sudden attention."

Aside, in a small huddle

First Year. Graham. "See his grace and power? We must surely have him as our noble leader, but who shall approach him with this heavy proposition?"

F.Y. Sally. "As t'was thyself that suggested that we take this brave soul as our ruler, I say that it must surely be thee that asketh this of him!"

Other F.Y.s "Aye!"

Gra. "Fine then; I shall approacheth him now, before this sudden courage leaves my soul!"

Graham walks to Peter

Gra. "Excuse me, kind sir, but my first year friends and I are astounded by your grace and courage and strength and glory! Please, honour us by saying that you will become our noble leader and ruler!"

Pet. "Seeing as you asked so nicely, I, Peter, shall comply and grant thee thy wish! Consider me, from hence forth, your leader and ruler, by election!"

Gra. "Swell! We shall form a mighty kingdom that all, whether Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Gyffindor, shall fear. All will obey the mighty word of Peter, and his Peteonites!"

F.Ys CHEER

Pet. Aside "And so begins our reign of terror,

With strength and glory we shall endeavour,

To rule this school of magic true;

With the loyalty of my followers few."