Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Neither do I own B.E.P.'s Pump it.
Chapter 2:
Sesshoumaru's Estate, within the cloistered inner gardens.
Pump it!
Louder!
Pump it!
Louder!
Pump it!
And sigh
o o o ohh...
And sigh
o o o ohh...
They have been practicing all morning.
Kagome mimicked the formally garbed Jaken, as he proceeded to drill her with the proper gestures and words involved in the purification and thanks-giving ceremony that is to be held in a couple of days time. Jaken concluded 'his' turn and nodded for her to continue without him, he observed her and corrected her mistakes-there must be nothing omitted. Nothing but perfection is suitable for his master and lord.
The teenager gracefully followed through with the dance-like movements of the Shinto ceremony with great precision. Jaken's jaw drooped. 'This ningen is beyond comprehension!'
Kagome's lithe form was moving fluidly, entrancing some of the other servants to cease their work and stare as avid spectators, enthralled by her enchanting performance. She finished the ceremony still currently unaware of the audience that had held their breaths at the skillful execution of the traditional purification rite. She bows respectfully to Jaken then turns to bow a second time to the front of the shrine where the names of the owner's ancestors are immortalized in oak plaques written in gold characters.
"Onna, that was the most exquisite performance I have yet encountered by far." Praised the kappa youkai sincerely, his eyes bulging out, heavily dilated pupils floating on yellowish white orbs.
Getting no response from the miko, Jaken frowns. 'Nani?' He notices the dreamy expression on her face. His frown deepens, his curiosity piqued.
He walked towards her until he was standing on the elevated dais housing the shrine's sacred objects. Standing on tippy-toes he stares then waves his short arms in front of the girl's face.
Still no response. 'Could she have been bewitched?'
His eyes widen as his bulbous eyes focus on two distinct ear pieces currently plugged onto the teenager's ears. His eyes narrow and hot steam rises from his pocked-marked head, as a whistling noise starts to emanate from his flared-oddly shaped nose.
"Temeeeeee.." The green imp grabs the length of wire closest to him . Unfortunately for our green friend, the same piece of wire was draped over Kagome's perky buds.
"HENTAI!" Screamed Kagome throwing a Tiger Wood's swing with her reiki-charged prayer stick..
"EKKKKKkkkkkkk...!"
Jaken's sickly green figure flies through the air-existing via the open shoji door, landing solidly with a loud 'plunk' on a wooden walkway, where the Inu Lord was presently strolling in.
"Jaken. Should you not be in family shrine rehearsing with the priest?" Sesshoumaru's cold countenance, met his gawking face.
"S-seven Sesshoumaru-sama?" He stared dumb foundedly at the Western Lord holding his head with both hands in a vain attempt to steady his swirling vision. Sesshoumaru picks him up by the neck, in which Jaken's body responds by shuddering in fright.
The perceptive Taiyoukai inclines his head up slightly, sniffing the fragrant scent on his retainer's body. Jaken starts perspiring, remembering his contact with the miko. 'That wench!'
"Your odour has somewhat improved." His inner beast growled contemplatively, 'This scent... could it be?'
"Eh...(gulp).. your most humble and loyal servant has been bathing and .. oh I have recently discovered a most wonderful invention to remove foul odour!"
"Love potion by Victoria's Secret?"
"Ah..heheheheh..Very well discerned Milord... I uh have recently found myself unable to go about my day without at least a modest spray of the ...ACK!"
The coolly composed Inu Lord tightened his choking grip on Jaken's neck.
"Your pulse is faster than it should be." Surmised Sesshoumaru, dangerously narrowing his eyes. "Perhaps an amendment of your earlier statement is in order."
GULP.
'Milord has not been like this in centuries! That miko wench would truly be the death of this Jaken.'
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Kagome searches the vast expanse of the gardens.
'Musta hit him harder than I thought.'
A moving heap of mud brown clothing catches the attention of her eyes.
"There you are you stinky toad! How dare you grope someone then hot-tail it outta there!" Screamed Kagome at the top of her lungs.
"Bakero! It was your stupidity that landed this Jaken into discord with Milord!" Spluttered the shaking Jaken. Fisting his three digit claws in front of him, he leans toward the approaching teenager in a boxing stance.
"What are you yapping on about?" Huffed a red faced Kagome.
"Yarrggghhh... a full millenia has been withered from my life!" Jaken bemoaned. "And it's your fault! Milord knows that I have covered up for you... I have betrayed his trust... (sniff)..."
"Wa-hattt?"
"I don't deserve to live..."
Kagome slaps the lamenting Jaken on one cheek. "Focus ya damn bull frog! What did he say?"
"He said he expects to see you at lunch..."
"Hell no! Do I look like I wanna commit harakiri any time soon to you?"
"You must! Or this Jaken's head will be severed most cruelly from my body."
"So? Sprout another one."
"Foolish ningen! I am not a vegetable!"
"Ya could've fooled me... anyone can mistake your sour ass for a century-old gherkin!"
"Higurashi! This Jaken is not one to beg in front of a ningen, but you have left me with no choice!"
The teenager watched awe-struck as her arch nemesis even in the Sengoku Jidai era, crumpled to his knees in complete supplication before her.
"Onegai, Kagome-sama."
'Cripes.. damn conscience can't you take a friggin vacation for once?' Kagome sighed mentally.
"Whaetever.. but if it starts to turn ugly you better get that butt of yours in there ASAP."
"Yes Kagome-Sama!" Boomed Jaken elatedly.
"So... you gotta pen and paper handy?"
The kappa youkai gawked at her in confusion.
"No time like the present to write my will."
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Kappa youkai: frog like youkai
Teme: You! (Derogatory)
Reiki: Holy power/ in this case miko power
Nani: What
Harakiri: ritual suicide