Author's Note; Sorry for not updating in a while but I was really busy working on a big AMV project and it took up all of my attention. But anyway, I don't really know how to spell Ember's last name. So don't sue me for the typos. Other than that, enjoy Ember's torture!

Chapter 17-Ember McLain:

So, without further ado, let's get to the Ember torture!

Know your stars…know your stars…know your stars…Ember McLain…she might dress like a punk, but she sings like a prep!

Ember exclaimed, "Hey!"

Ember McLain…she didn't die in a fire…she died in a freak piano accident…

"No I didn't. Why would I sing about a fire if I didn't die in one? Dipstick…"

Takes one to know one prep. Ember McLain…what you don't know about her is that she secretly lusts after Sam Manson.

"Who's that?"

Oh yeah, real mature, pretending like you don't know whom your not so secret love is. If you didn't know who she was, why would you write a song about her?

"I never wrote a song about a person named Sam…."

A Monitor zooms down and plays a video of Ember singing about and to Sam. She then yelled:

"That wasn't me! That must've been my evil twin sister!"

Sure…you just keep on telling yourself that. Ember McLain…not only does she lust after Sam, but she lusts after the Lunch Lady!

"Now that's insane! I couldn't love that old geezer if she was the last person on earth!"

Well then, should I tell the Lunch Lady that you also have a secret passion for Youngblood?

"UGH! NO! I only worked with that whiny little brat because he hates adults as much as I do. And I couldn't love the Lunch Lady cuz I'm not gay and she's an adult!"

Then why would you want to hump Youngblood you little pedophile!

"UGH! I don't you sick bastard! YOU do!"

Highly unlikely since I only exist to torture.

"That's sick and wrong."

But that's everyone loves this story! Ember McLain…not only does she have a thing for the Lunch Lady, but to make matters worst, the Lunch Lady is her mother!

"No she's not! I never had a mother!"

Then how do you know I'm not lying?

"I hate you."

Oh goody, another fan! Ember McLain…she went out with Johnny 13 behind Kitty's back only as a distraction so that Kitty wouldn't find out Ember loves her.

"You are the sickest little bastard I have ever met."

Thank you, I take that as a compliment. Ember McLain…she loves Klemper. That's why she dyed her hair blue!

"I could never love that annoying little dweeb!"

Ember McLain…her secret dream is to have Dan Phantom's white hair, beard and all! In fact, she wants to have a sex change operation to be changed into a guy!

"Where the hell do you come up with these things?"

From the author and reviewers. Ember McLain…what you don't know about her is that she only became a singer so that she could subliminally infuse her songs with messages about not doing drugs and converting to a Jehovah Witness…

"What's a Jehovah Witness?"

Ha Ha, very funny. Ember McLain…she's secretly a bible thumping Jehovah Witness, and she only became a singer to convert everyone instead of moving door to door.

"Why the hell would I care about something like that? Like I care about telling people not to do drugs. Plus…like I said…dunno what a Jehovah Witness is. Is that a band?"

That's sad. Ember McLain, this is how she REALLY died: She was humming a song on the way to church, and was hit by a piano-hauling semi. And the piano squashed her body. Ember was originally very fat, but the piano squished her into a twig.

"You're stupid."

You would know since you have to be stupid as well! Ember McLain…she is afraid of Austin Powers. I wonder if I could make her scream if I started to talk like him. Here I go. This should be fun!

"Why in the hell would I be afraid of Austin Powers?"

Ember...what you don't know is that she likes to hump fire hydrants!

"YOU'RE SICK!"

I'm not the one who likes to hump fire hydrants are I? Ember...she likes to

shag Skulker, baby!

"NASTY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

The ghost of the Know your Star chair then appeared before Ember to continue his torture.

Peek-a-boo!

"What the…"

Ember McLain...what you don't know about her is that she has unresolved childhood issues! That's why she prefers women to men!

"I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I'M OUTTA HERE!"

Ember storms out of the room while the ghost of the Know your Stars chair returned to the chair and commented:

That took longer than usual. But more the merrier for my adoring fans. Now who should I go after next? Decisions, decisions. Well, thank you all for more than 150 reviews and over 7,000 hits! Cake for all! BWA HA HA HA HA!