SMILE - - »
»OLETTE«
THREE ---»
She's always been a natural with people; everyone's said so. She's always been the center of attention, receiving smiles and hugs and pinches of her cheeks. She's always smiled back and been polite because of that night she heard her mom saying how proud she was to have her as a daughter.
As a young child of five or six, when everything started, she was entered in dance contests and pageants and talent contests. She didn't complain because of her parents and how every time she received a first place ribbon they would smile and tell her just how proud they were.
When she entered middle school with no friends because no one wanted to be friends with the girl who was stuck up and knew nothing but winning, she didn't complain. She just smiled and said how great her first day was as she got ready for a party arranged by some of her parents' co-workers, where she's be standing there and smiling and just hoping her parents were still proud.
TWO ---»
By high school she had two walls of blue ribbons and trophies. Her parents still smiled and told her how proud they were every day. She still smiled and told then she was so happy she could make them proud, then went to her room and cried because that day at school she'd heard a girl talking about how she thought her parents were probably drunks and she just did this to make guys like her, trying to follow her parents' footsteps.
When her parents enrolled her in ballet three times a week (daily, after gymnastics) she smiled and hugged them and said thank you, then went and cried again because what was she to do now? All her free time was spent studying to keep her straight A's and making her parents happy.
By her senior year her teachers had also been convinced that she was only a pathetic girl who thought she was better than everyone else.
ONE ---»
The day she graduated high school her parents had a party for here. They invited every person they knew and said she could invite any friends she wanted. She told them that she wouldn't invite them over today because the party was already enough stress on them just to cover up the fact that she didn't have any.
She stood there all night and smiled and said hello to everyone at least twice and listened to everyone say how lucky she was and how much they wanted their daughters to be just like her. She was clapped on the shoulder by men three times her age as they told her that they were as proud as her father.
When her parents held an even bigger party to see her off to college, she said she felt sick half way through the party so she could go hide in her room. Her parents said they were proud of her every day too many times to count. She finally started wondering if they were actually proud at all.
STOP ---»
Her first few months at college were filled with visits from her parents and calls from her dance teachers and appointments from modeling agencies her parents had called. Every day she had off was a visit home or a dance or a meeting or a party her parents had arranged. She finally decided to tell them she was much too busy and she was very sorry she couldn't come see them, and they just said they were proud she was doing what was needed.
When her parents called to make sure she would be majoring in dance or modeling or something they were proud of, she lied and said she had all the teachers begging her to come into their classes and she hadn't decided yet. They said they were proud as she secretly headed to her computer design class.
On the night she'd gotten off the phone early, glad to get the proudness in their voices to just go away, she sat in her bed in her dark empty dorm room and silently let tears fall down her cheeks. She wondered how hard it would be to get a plane ticket to some other state without the fucking news knowing.
She realized that for at least a while longer she was stuck with these people who said they were proud of their daughter who secretly lived in a lonely world of hate and depression. She was stuck with the people smiling their sickening smiles at her, saying they were proud of her for doing what their ignored daughters couldn't do.
She realized that everything was just a little bit hopeless.
& - - x - -♥
this is very OOC for olette, I know. It's
much more kairi, but there's a ton
of kairi's like this and I HAD to
write an olette. I'm weird
like that, yes.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
Renée :D
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
YES, YES, YES.
I know.
A lot of people have
been using this er…
format AND doing
ANGST-y stuff like
this. So you don't
have to tell me.
:D